Work Text:
Edelgard had never been fond of the dark.
Long after the sun plunged beneath the horizon, after the bustle of camp fell to a lull, after the lamp in her tent was turned low- the light small, but it’s there - the Emperor of Adrestia laid shivering in her own sweat soaked sheets.
She couldn’t sleep, which was nothing new for her. None of this was new to her. The looming shadows, the needles of terror prickling all over her body, the paralyzing dread that pinned her where she lay. Yet night after night, she felt as helpless as she did all those years ago.
She struggled to sit up, fighting against the haze that weighed down her eyelids and limbs. Cries of anguish filled her ears and the taste of blood filled her mouth, but she knew they weren’t real. Well, she hoped the blood wasn’t. It wouldn’t be the first time if she’d bitten her lips to bleeding in her sleep.
The cries grew louder as her eyes drifted shut, the shadows coalescing into hooded figures. But she soldiered through the haze and reached for her oil lamp. Trembling fingers turned the knob until the fire blazed bright enough to banish the darkness.
Edelgard blinked against the light, stinging but welcome. She sat slumped at the edge of her bed.
What time was it? She was fairly certain it was too early in the morning to start her day, but she wasn’t falling asleep again any time soon. She may as well get moving.
Grumbling, she dragged herself out of bed. She combed her hair until it was sleek and presentable, tying it in a low ponytail over her shoulder. She threw on a dressing gown over her sleepwear. Nothing formal, but serviceable for a few late night errands. Taking her lamp with her, she headed out of her tent.
Predictably enough, it was still dark. While most of her comrades were sleeping, there were a number of guards milling about and buildings remained lit with torches. The light was soothing, as was the activity- little though there was at the moment. She was still a bit twitchy, but Edelgard felt herself relax as she strode idly to the command center.
She wasn’t alone. She wasn’t underground. She was surrounded by people, in a fortified camp, a crisp breeze tickling her face. She was safe . She just needed to remember that.
Soldiers and staff saluted her as she passed and she returned their greeting with a nod. If they were surprised to find their liege up and about at this hour, they gave no indication. Edelgard should find something to do as not to waste all their time.
She entered the records room. Brushing up on the latest reports should be a simple enough task for her sleep-addled mind, and it would prepare her well for the day ahead. She set her lamp down on a desk and examined the files stacked neatly at the side. These should be the most recent.
She’d only opened the first folder when a loud voice startled her.
“Oh, Y-Your Majesty! What are you doing here?”
Edelgard had to clamp her jaw shut to stifle an undignified shriek as she pivoted on her heel to face the intrusion. Her breathing hitched, the shadows leaping in her periphery.
It was only Monica, however. Red eyes wide as she stared at her, the lower half of her face covered with a folder she grasped in both hands. She lowered the folder to her chest, revealing a quizzical frown. “Are you alright, Lady Edelgard?”
She tried to speak, but her mouth felt dry. She licked her lips only to taste copper. So she had bitten them. “Yes, I’m quite alright thank you. I’m just going to review these reports.”
“Ah, no need to trouble yourself with those, Your Majesty.” Monica grinned, mien bright and teeth flashing. “I’ve taken the liberty of organizing yesterday’s documents. Everything from camp maintenance, finances, supplies, scouts, and troop movements. I’ll have a summary prepared for you later in the morning. You will find it most useful.”
Edelgard blinked, taken aback by her zeal. “That would be much appreciated, thank you. Although,” she glanced again at the thick stack of folders on the desk and at the one in Monica’s hands. “That’s quite a lot of files. Have you been working on them all night?”
Monica jolted. “Not the whole night, of course! I just got up early so that I could prepare these for you in a timely fashion.”
“I would hardly call these hours ‘timely’,” Edelgard’s brows furrowed as she eyed the other woman.
Monica seemed quite jittery now that she’s paying attention. She was tripping over her words and fidgeting like she was itching to move at a moment’s notice.
“Are you alright, Monica?” she turned the question back on her. “You seem agitated.”
“Agitated? Me?” She shook her head vehemently. “I’m deeply touched by your concern, Your Majesty, but I am doing just fine.”
“You haven’t been going through Hubert’s coffee supply, have you? I’ve told him dozens of times that was no substitute for sleep and you shouldn’t follow his example.”
Monica scoffed, “as if I need to stoop to his level! Please rest assured, Lady Edelgard, there is nothing to be worried about.”
Edelgard took the folder from her and flipped through the contents. She found several papers scribbled with notes and more documents tucked behind them. “You’re going above and beyond what’s expected of you. I appreciate the work you do, but not when you run yourself ragged over-”
“If you’d forgive me for interrupting, my lady,” Monica cut in, face growing red despite the determined set of her brows. “Did something happen to your mouth? That looks quite painful and you should get that attended to.”
Edelgard’s hand flies up to cover her split lip. “That’s nothing.”
“It is not nothing, and I strongly urge you to take care of yourself! In the meantime, you can count on me to finish summarizing these reports,” Monica gave her a winsome smile. “After I’m done here, I’ll go back to bed. Would that satisfy Your Majesty?”
“That’s a fair compromise,” Edelgard conceded with a sigh. “Very well. Have a good night, Monica.”
“And you as well, Lady Edelgard,” she beamed. “Sweet dreams!”
It wasn’t until Edelgard was outside again that she realized she’d forgotten her lamp at the records room. She was embarrassed to go back to get it, so she’ll have to leave it for now. Though she certainly won’t be able to go to sleep under these conditions. She shuddered at the prospect of returning to her cold, dark tent.
She wasn’t going to actually seek medical attention for her lip either. It was a minor nuisance and not at all worth bothering the infirmary staff for. Monica was clearly looking for an excuse to get Edelgard off her case and she could take a hint. Frustrating as it is, while Monica was always serving her, she never allowed Edelgard to reciprocate.
Edelgard ambled aimlessly and found herself wandering into another tent.
Before the war, when they’d been living at the palace, Edelgard and Dorothea often slept together. Her bed had been plenty large for the both of them, and Dorothea’s company did her wonders.
Dorothea would nestle against her, with sweet whispers and soft lullabies. Her warm and steady presence easily chased away the terrors of the night. They didn’t start officially courting until much later, but Edelgard was always grateful to have her at her side.
Yet Edelgard second-guessed herself as she entered the tent. Her eyes had adjusted enough to make out Dorothea’s shape in the gloom. She was fast asleep, and Edelgard was reluctant to disturb her at such an ungodly hour.
While Dorothea was always a welcome guest in her chambers, Edelgard never barged into hers uninvited. She certainly never woke her up like this before, and doing so now made her feel like a child.
She was about to turn and leave when she’d tripped over something she hadn’t seen in the darkness. She caught herself on her palms, but the sound of the impact was enough to get Dorothea to stir.
Edelgard stilled, holding her breath, as she heard Dorothea shift in her bed. Maybe she hadn’t woken her up?
The thought was dashed as she heard the mutterings of an incantation.
“Dorothea, it’s me,” she said, standing up.
A fire spell flickered to life in Dorothea’s palm as she squinted at her through bleary eyes, her words foggy with sleep. “Edie? What’s up?”
She used the flame to light the candles at her bedside before dismissing the spell.
In the light, Edelgard could step over the shoe that tripped her as she made her way to Dorothea’s side. “Apologies, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Dorothea nodded, rubbing at her eyes. “Bad dream?”
She let out a long exhale. “You know how it is.”
“Then get in here.” Dorothea grabbed her arm and yanked her into bed with her.
“Not quite as big as the one we have back home,” she remarked as the wooden frame creaked in protest at her added weight.
“We’ll make do,” Dorothea replied simply.
They had to press close together to keep from hanging off the edge. Still, there’s no place Edelgard felt more secure than in Dorothea’s embrace. She let herself relax, sighing happily into her chest as Dorothea massaged her scalp.
Dorothea’s hand slid down to cup her cheek, her thumb resting lightly on her bitten lip. Another half hummed spell later and the raw skin was good as new. “Feeling better, dear?”
“Yes, much better.” Edelgard nuzzled her, partly to express her affection, and also to hide her face as bashfulness crept on her. “Thank you, Dorothea… I mean it.”
“Anything for you, Edie,” she chuckled, squeezing her tighter.
They kissed each other goodnight as Dorothea pulled the covers over them both, settling comfortably in each other’s arms. Edelgard felt her eyelids grow heavy again, but this time the darkness settled over her like the blankets, warm and comforting.
Sleep was difficult to shake off, as it often was. It wasn’t phantom chains or knives pinning her down however, but the tangling embrace of her lover. Edelgard was much too cozy to be moving so soon, though she knew she really must.
An eye cracked open, taking belated note that the tent was brighter than it should be, meaning she’d overslept. Dorothea was still asleep around her, breathing deep and steady. Edelgard decided not to rise yet lest she disturb her, but she did keep herself properly awake by getting her thoughts in order.
She recalled going to the records room last night. She should retrieve her oil lamp and go through those documents like she said she would. Monica did most of the work for her already, and her diligent vassal had surely done it well. More than her efforts though, Edelgard found her thoughts lingering on the woman herself.
The arms around her tightened as Dorothea roused, yawning noisily before plopping her head right next to hers. “Morning, Edie. Sleep well last night?”
“Almost too well,” she scoffed jovially. “Now I’m far behind on my morning schedule.”
Dorothea laughed. “Who cares if Her Majesty gets a couple more hours to rest. Between Hubert and Monica, the army can run quite smoothly in your absence.”
“That doesn’t mean I should let them shoulder all my burdens.” Edelgard frowned, “that reminds me. Did I mention I ran into Monica last night in the records room?”
“Records room? Ugh, don’t tell me you tried to just work off your problems.”
“It helps me sleep!”
“Because it exhausts you!” Dorothea exclaimed. “Passing out at the desk isn’t a good thing, Edie.”
“Nevermind that,” she grumbled. “I want to speak about Monica. You and she are… close. Correct?”
Dorothea raised a brow curiously. “Not as close as you two are. Why?”
“On the contrary, I believe your bonds are much more comfortable to her than her devotion for me,” Edelgard lamented. “Monica won’t even let me bear the burden of my own guilt, she certainly wouldn’t allow me to carry even a fraction of her own troubles. But she can confide in you, can’t she?”
Dorothea mulled on it for a second. “Monnie isn’t the type to air out her woes. Even when she’s clearly upset, she’d hardly admit it to herself, least of all to you.”
Edelgard winced.
“Um… general ‘you’, not you specifically, Edie.” Dorothea amended lamely.
“Regardless,” she ground out, “could you do me a favor and check on her in my stead? She’s overworking herself, and I think I have an inkling as to why.” She closed her eyes just to lie in the darkness once more. Her mind may be at ease now, but she knew how vicious of a beast it could be.
“Because she wants to impress her glorious liege?” Dorothea’s voice lilted with humor, but at Edelgard’s silence, her tone sobered. “You think she has trouble sleeping, too?”
“Captivity isn’t a very pleasant experience,” Edelgard murmured. “Perhaps we rescued her before the worst came to pass, but she’s still endured months of torment.”
“Poor Monnie,” Dorothea shook her head. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do for her.”
Edelgard placed her hand over hers. “Thank you, Dorothea. I have faith you’ll get through to her. Afterall, no one can resist you.”
Edelgard went over her duties, overseeing their army as well as coordinating with the rest of Adrestia’s military and the nobles at the capital. She threw herself into her work to make up for the late start, and found little time to herself for the rest of the day.
As she moved through the camp, she caught glimpses of her friends as they went through their own affairs. She caught sight of Dorothea and Monica seated in the common area. Edelgard couldn’t help but stall outside, so she could observe them through the window.
They were too far for her to make out the hushed whispers, but she could see their expressions plain enough. They both appeared somber. Monica let her shoulders sag and her face fall in a way she’d never show Edelgard. Dorothea placed a hand on her forearm, offering her a gentle smile which the other woman returned.
She was glad the two of them got along as they did, yet a certain lonesomeness panged in Edelgard’s chest as she watched them. There were many occasions where she mourned that her status as emperor stopped her peers from truly regarding her as an equal. She was grateful that many of her friends could look past that now, but seeing Monica unguarded like this made her feel leagues away.
She stepped back, guilty about intruding on a private moment that was distinctly not for her eyes. Monica was in good hands with Dorothea. Edelgard would know, personally.
With a hollow heart, she went back to work.
She didn’t get a chance to see them again until the following morning. Edelgard had spent the night alone in her own tent. She simply kept her lamp brighter than she’d usually have it as she tossed and turned in her fitful slumber.
Breakfast found her stifling a yawn in the recreation area as she picked out a meal to start her day.
“Edie, over here!”
She lifted her head to see Dorothea and Monica at a table together, the former eagerly waving her over while the latter looked like a deer in a hunter’s snare.
“Good morning, Dorothea, Monica.” Edelgard greeted them as she strode over. She wasn’t sure if she should join them but Dorothea was already pulling her into the chair beside her.
Before she knew it, Dorothea gave her a syrup-sticky kiss to the cheek.
“Dorothea!” she exclaimed, blushing.
Her lover laughed heartily in reply, though she did get a napkin to clean Edelgard’s face. “Just having a bit of fun, Edie. I missed you yesterday.”
“We were both occupied,” Edelgard said, trying not to squirm under her ministrations. As much as she enjoyed Dorothea’s affections, it still disarmed her at times. Especially when she’s being public about it.
A glance saw Monica’s face heating up to match the shade of her hair as she stared at them with her mouth agape.
Wanting to bring some levity to the table, Edelgard started a conversation. “Monica, how were you last night?”
Apparently that was a bad start, as Monica suddenly made a strangled noise. “I absolutely meant no disrespect, Your Majesty! I won’t bother you and Doro- Lady Dorothea again!”
“Calm down, Monica.” Edelgard chided her as she nudged Dorothea’s hand away from her face.
“Yes, and I told you to drop the ‘Lady’ stuff unless you want me using them too,” Dorothea added with a wink, “ Lady Monica.”
Monica looked like she could faint.
“Alright, I’ll stop teasing,” Dorothea said apologetically. “Do you want me to tell Edie or will you do it?”
“Tell me what?”
“It was a moment of weakness, Your Majesty!” Monica suddenly blurted. “It won’t happen again.”
She was utterly perplexed, but Dorothea elaborated. “Monnie and I shared a bed last night. I offered to sing her to sleep, and well… You can guess how that went.”
Her airy giggle was at odds with the face of despair Monica sported.
Edelgard frowned at Monica. She had hoped the other woman would be soothed by another’s company like Edelgard was, but she didn’t look very rested. Albeit Edelgard found it hard to believe Dorothea would be so nonchalant if it had gone terribly. “So, did you sleep well?”
Monica’s eyes darted between them nervously. “Your Majesty is not upset that I slept with your lover?”
Edelgard could only blink at the statement, dumbfounded.
“Monnie, I am hurt that you’d accuse me of cheating on my girlfriend,” Dorothea placed her hand on her chest dramatically. “For the record, it was Edie’s idea.”
“ What?! ”
Edelgard cut in gently. “We’re both worried about you, Monica. You work too hard, and I suspected there were other reasons why you couldn’t rest as you should.”
Monica composed herself, looking down at her clasped hands. “You knew about my nightmares then?”
“The sudden feelings of helplessness, being paralyzed in your dreams.” As Edelgard spoke, she saw recognition flash in her crimson eyes. Edelgard’s heart twisted knowing another person suffered like she did.
Glancing down at her exposed forearms, and the rough lines across them, she took solace that Monica didn’t suffer worse.
“Those feelings haven’t gone away after all these years, but I’ve found that they’re far more manageable in the company of another.” Edelgard smiled at Dorothea as she laced their fingers together. She looked over to where Monica was watching them with shining eyes. “We were hoping we could help you, too.”
“Except Edie over here thinks you won’t be open to her,” Dorothea interjected, poking her in the cheek. “Speaking of, how did you sleep last night?”
“This isn’t about me,” Edelgard protested.
Monica gasped. “Lady Edelgard, Dorothea, it is an incredible honor to have you both fussing over me so, but I cannot accept this privilege if it deprives my lady of her own comfort!”
“Seems to me that there’s a simple solution to that problem,” Dorothea said blithely. “The three of us should sleep together!”
A beat of silence as Monica and Edelgard stared blankly.
“What?” Dorothea crossed her arms, “tell me you’re not going to be weird about it if it was just the two of you. Besides, I don’t want to be left out.”
“I’m afraid the bed won’t have sufficient space,” Edelgard tilted her head thoughtfully. “It’s going to be a bit of a squeeze with the three of us.”
“Dreams do come true,” Monica murmured. Then louder, “I mean, what?”
The emperor’s tent might’ve been bigger than standard, but the bed she used on campaign was still the same as everyone else’s. Edelgard usually preferred solidarity with her people, but when the three of them tried to wiggle into place, she wished she had a wider bed.
Instead, they decided to bring over another bed to push side by side and Monica volunteered her own. Edelgard carried the bed frame herself, with some assistance to maneuver it through the camp. Add another trip for the mattress and the three of them garnered quite a number of odd looks.
“Do you require more pillows, Lady Edelgard?” Monica piped up as they were fixing the bed. “Blankets? Stuffed animals? Just say the word and I’ll fetch them for you.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“How about scented candles to enhance the atmosphere? Oh, I know- I saw an embroidered coverlet in the marketplace earlier that would complement your-”
“Woah there, Monnie,” Dorothea interrupted before she could start redecorating. “There’s no need to get too worked up about it. This is supposed to be a relaxing night.”
“But Her Majesty and her phenomenal lover has invited me to their bed,” Monica gestured emphatically. “This is the most momentous occasion in my entire life! Wouldn’t you also want to commemorate it?”
“What other fanfare could we possibly need?” Edelgard asked. With the beds made, all that was left was to lie in it. “Is this not enough?”
Monica’s eyes widened. “My lady, I didn’t mean any negative implications, but surely there’s something I could do to make this arrangement more amenable to you? You’re giving me something I’d never even dared to ask.”
“You’re already dedicating your life to me. I’m the one who feels as though I’m not giving anything back.” Frustration and guilt coiled within Edelgard, and she tried to shove it down. “Please, just let us do this for you.”
Dorothea added, “Yeah, let us take care of you for a change. You’ve been working hard enough already.”
Monica looked between the two of them, wringing her hands. After a pause, she nodded. “If you say so. You’re both too kind.”
“Good,” Edelgard bit back a sigh. “Then let’s settle down, shall we.”
As they were getting on the combined beds, Dorothea spoke up. “Monnie, how about you decide the arrangement for tonight?”
“Me?” she squeaked.
Edelgard chuckled, sitting at the edge of the bed. “Don’t start being shy about what you want now.”
“Oh goodness.” Monica’s face turned red. “Could I be in the middle, please?”
“Certainly.”
They shuffled into position, with Monica in the middle as requested. Edelgard turned the light down low.
“I hope that’s alright with you, Monica. I find having a light on to be helpful.”
“Of course, my lady.” She fiddled with the edge of the blanket. “I must admit, I haven’t really taken action against the nightmares. I try to ground myself in reality but the memories are so vivid.”
“If there’s any way to make it easier, I encourage you to find it,” Edelgard told her. “But if my strategies work for you, you’re always welcome to join me.”
Her lips curved in a small smile. Not as bright and unabashed as her usual grins, but this Edelgard would keep close to her chest. “Thank you, my lady.”
“Goodnight, Monica.”
Edelgard looked over to Dorothea who had an odd sort of expression. She raised a questioning eyebrow, and her lover only shook her head in amusement.
Tomorrow , she mouthed.
Edelgard rolled her eyes, fond. “Goodnight, Dorothea.” She leaned over to kiss her as they do every night.
When she pulled back, she heard a yelp from Monica.
“My apologies, did I step on you?” She should’ve been more mindful with Monica between them.
“Not at all, don’t mind me!”
Dorothea laughed at this, draping an arm over her as she snuggled closer. “Is this alright, Monnie?”
“Absolutely,” she said, sounding a little strained.
Edelgard settled into the bed a little tentatively, watching the other two. “Are you sure you’re comfortable, Monica?”
“Very much so,” she replied rather hastily. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “And if I may be so bold, might I request Your Majesty hold me as well?”
“As you wish,” Edelgard chuckled softly.
She snuggled closer, wrapping around her as well. She felt Dorothea’s fingers curl around her sleeve, delighting in the familiar touch. Monica seemed a little uncertain how to position herself as she’s pinned between them. She shifted a bit, eventually turning to her side so she faced Edelgard with her back pressed to Dorothea.
Monica and Edelgard shared a quiet look, their faces inches apart.
Edelgard wasn’t quite sure what compelled her. The intimacy of their positions, the way her eyes glittered in the low lamplight, the feeling that perhaps the two of them did not have to be leagues apart. That they could close that gap.
She leaned in to give Monica a peck on the lips. “Sweet dreams.”