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Piece of Cake

Summary:

Day 6: Sweets

The Emperor receives a gift from an anonymous suitor! Suspicious of its origins and intentions, Hubert and Edelgard investigate.

Monica wants to scream.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 

Monica hurried through the gilded halls of the imperial palace, counting the steps in the back of her mind as she made her way to the Emperor’s quarters. As the familiar door came into view, she made an effort to calm herself. She slowed her pace into something more casual, smoothened the creases of her clothes, and brushed her hair out of her face.

Yes. Perfectly, inconspicuously casual.

She certainly hadn’t just done something so outrageous such as send cake and flowers to Her Imperial Majesty! No, that would be awfully inappropriate of her. Her Lady Edelgard had more important things to do than entertain her dithering vassal.

If she were to send Edelgard anything, she would do so through a trusted intermediary who could keep things clandestine and anonymous. Her Majesty had been working diligently for the past year and she wasn’t the best at pacing herself or minding her well-being. A sweet treat in the middle of a tiring day ought to lift her spirits.

Monica had to stifle a squeal as she imagined Edelgard enjoying the cake she baked. Monica wasn’t one for sweets, but for her Lady Edelgard she had gone through the process of making the most painstakingly perfect cake she could manage. She’d made an arrangement with one of the scullery maids to deliver it to Edelgard’s room some twenty-two minutes ago. Her Majesty would have likely finished it by now. Even between her demanding duties, that ought to be ample time to polish a plate of dessert, and Monica would like to get her feedback while the experience was still fresh on her mind.

As much as she was dying to know how Edelgard liked her gift, she also wasn’t sure if her poor heart could take watching Her Majesty scrutinize her work in front of her. Monica would settle for asking Edelgard of her opinion after the fact instead. If her lady could spare so much as a smile for her, she’d be over the moon for the rest of the day.

Satisfied that her presentation was worthy to be in the presence of the emperor, Monica strode up to her chamber door and rapped her knuckles against the polished wood a crisp three times. “Lady Edelgard, may I come in?”

“Enter,” came Edelgard’s curt reply.

Monica frowned. Her Majesty didn’t sound to be in good spirits. Had Monica’s efforts to delight her been in vain? 

The possibilities rushed through her mind as she moved to open the door. Did Edelgard not enjoy her baking? Perhaps she’d been so consumed by her work she hadn’t even had the chance to indulge yet? Or maybe she did and accidentally smeared cream on an important document and it fouled her mood? Monica had to do something!

She entered the room brimming with determination. Whatever ailed her Lady Edelgard, Monica would do everything in her power to resolve.

The first thing she noticed was Hubert. That dour obelisk of a man was impossible to miss, sticking out like a stain in Her Majesty’s pristine chambers. He stood beside Edelgard, features pinched to be especially surly as he seemed troubled by something.

“Ah, Monica,” Edelgard turned to face her in greeting, “it’s good that you're here.”

Even with the furrow in her brow, she was positively radiant. Rather than the traditional crowns worn by emperors as bequeathed by the Church, Edelgard had a simpler headpiece commissioned instead. It was an open circlet, the slim golden band tucked behind her ears like the laurels of victory worn by champions of old. The light shone upon its points like the sun’s caress on her fair hair. 

All that of course, to frame a handsome face. The expanse of her forehead and the fullness of her cheeks could’ve been carved from the finest marble. Set with her perfect amethyst eyes which Monica made the effort not to get lost in so she could follow her gaze-

And see that the object of their consternation was none other than Monica’s own gift. She hadn’t even touched it.

“What seems to be the problem, my lady?” Monica asked, fighting to keep the dismay from her voice.

Edelgard’s dainty little mouth quirked like she meant to say something, but Hubert had the audacity to interrupt her with his thoughtless comment.

“This dessert platter was brought to Her Majesty just moments ago. Curiously, the servant couldn’t tell from whom.” His acid green eyes narrowed at her. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this?”

Indignance and self-consciousness made Monica recoil. “W-what baseless accusation! I still don’t see what the problem is.”

“Hubert thinks it might be the work of assassins,” Edelgard sighed. 

From her tone, she seemed more annoyed than worried. But the fact that the treats Monica prepared to brighten her day had become a cause for concern had Monica devastated.

And it was all Hubert’s fault!

“Assassins, really?” Monica shot him a venomous glare. “Have you so little faith in Lady Edelgard that you think she could possibly be felled by cake ?”

“I have confidence Her Majesty will be just fine,” Hubert smirked. “Though it remains my solemn duty to thwart any attempt on her life no matter how trifling. Quite the basic responsibility as her retainer.”

Monica felt a vein throb at his backhanded jab. She scrambled for a retort to throw at his stupid face when he continued.

“We’ve already drawn the ire of a number of powerful enemies,” he said sternly. “The Church of Seiros, most prominently, as well as the disparaged nobles of Adrestia. Bishop Varley might be the popular target, but we can’t dismiss the possibility that they might aim higher.”

“But do you really think the former Duke Aegir will try to kill me with a fruit cake?” 

Her Lady Edelgard was adorable when she’s petulant. Exasperation laced her tone and she looked at the treats with a simple longing. She and Hubert had probably been bickering since the platter was brought here. Monica wanted nothing more than to submit to her desires and feed Her Majesty the cake herself. Preferably by hand.

“Is it not also a possibility that this is merely a token of gratitude and esteem?” Monica suggested. “Lady Edelgard is quite popular among the masses and certain nobility. Perhaps someone wanted to send friendly regards.”

“Aren’t you suspicious how incredibly tailored to Lady Edelgard’s tastes this is? Whoever sent this is far too familiar for my liking.” 

Hubert was equally exasperated, but Monica thought he deserved to be. Not to mention, she inwardly preened at the acknowledgement that she did an excellent job in catering to Her Majesty. The cake was strawberries and cream, sandwiched in rich, flaky biscuits. Lovingly handmade from scratch with a generous amount of sugar to appeal to her sweet tooth. She’d also included a fresh pot of bergamot and a crystal vase with the most impeccable carnations the greenhouse had to offer.

But that was twenty-seven minutes ago now! The biscuits in the cake she’d baked to a delicate crisp would’ve grown soggy as the whipped cream melted, and the tea would’ve gone cold. Her Majesty’s perfect snack all ruined!

And it was still Hubert’s fault! She scowled at him as he kept running his mouth.

“What’s more troubling is that this had gotten past the Imperial Household’s staff,” Hubert muttered. “I thought them trustworthy but it seems an investigation is in order.”

Monica winced at that. She hoped she didn’t get the maid in trouble. Perhaps it was best for all parties involved if she just came clean about what happened.

“How about this,” Edelgard cut in. To everyone’s surprise, she began pouring out a cup. She silenced Hubert’s protest with an imperious arch of her brow. “Didn’t you say you’ve improved your toxins laboratory? Take some samples from these and determine if they are indeed poisoned. Should you find anything, it would be sure to aid in your investigation.”

Edelgard likewise took a thin slice from the cake and placed it on the saucer with the teacup and handed it to Hubert. He let out a soft harrumph, evidently displeased, but he bowed respectfully as he accepted it.

“If those are your orders, my lady.” He swept a critical gaze over the two of them. “Wait here. Do not do anything hasty.”

Monica wanted to stick her tongue out at his retreating figure, petty as that was. She did catch Edelgard rolling her gorgeous eyes, which she took immense satisfaction in. 

“Hubert can be quite the nuisance, isn’t he- Lady Edelgard !” 

In the three seconds after Hubert had left the room, Edelgard had promptly speared a strawberry with a fork and popped it into her mouth. Monica knew without a shadow of doubt that the cake was perfectly fine, but they didn’t and Hubert would never let her hear the end of it if Her Majesty ate potentially tampered food under Monica’s supervision.

Edelgard didn’t seem the least bit troubled. Though her eyes widened slightly as she hummed, savoring the taste.

Monica tried to string her words together, babbling uselessly between asking her what she thought of it, advising caution, and possibly even a confession of her actions. Still, the longer this charade dragged on, the more awkward it was for Monica to admit it was from her.

“You should let me taste test it first,” she found herself blurting out, “if it really is poisoned, I will gladly take the fall for you, my lady!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Edelgard chided her, blithely taking another spoonful. “You hate sweets. If one of us is to get poisoned, at least let it be from something she enjoyed. Moreover, Hubert and I have built a resistance against common poisons, and my Crests let me burn through most substances with ease. The odds of me expiring from this is laughably low.”

Monica stared at her agape. She immediately sorted this new information in her mind, anything pertaining to Her Majesty’s well-being was of critical importance. She also couldn’t help the flash of jealousy hearing more of Edelgard and Hubert’s intertwined history. No matter. She’ll simply have to calculate for the highest non-lethal doses of those poisons so she could catch up to them in the shortest time possible. With luck, she might even get there before Edelgard declared war.

Seeing as Edelgard was more than happy to continue eating, she may as well get her thoughts.

“About that cake, Your Majesty,” Monica asked as nonchalantly as she could. “What do you think of it?”

Edelgard inspected a cream covered strawberry for a moment and took a delicate bite. “This is either completely harmless, or a very well disguised assassination attempt. It would be a simple feat to hide deadly nightshade among blueberries, or cyanide within almonds, yet the ingredients used here are completely benign as far as I can tell.”

“Well, how does it taste?” she tried again, “if there’s anything suspicious, I mean.” 

Even with her Lady Edelgard’s natural elegance, the copious amount of whipped cream and strawberry juices made it inevitably smear across her mouth. She ran her tongue over her pink lips, making them glisten. Monica felt her ears burn as she committed the sight to memory.

It was fortunate that Edelgard had quite the fondness for cream, Monica should add more next time. She could also make the berries more syrupy. For Edelgard’s pleasure, of course.

“It’s delicious, really.” Edelgard’s earnest smile could’ve lightened the night sky. “It’s quite sweet, too. More than most would prefer, I’m sure, but I enjoy it.”

“I’m glad it’s to your tastes,” Monica sighed happily. That was mission accomplished for her, despite the bumps in the road. If she’s lucky, Hubert would let the whole matter go after confirming that the cake wasn’t poisoned.

In the meantime, she contented herself with watching Her Majesty polish off her plate. Edelgard loved it so much she chased down every crumb and dollop. 

Monica really should bake for her more, seeing how ecstatic it made her. She should definitely increase the serving size. She wondered if she should make it sweeter as well. Was there a limit to how sweet Edelgard liked her food? That was pertinent information to learn if she ever wanted to see her lady in utter bliss. Maybe she’ll even let Monica feed her everyday if she-

“Monica? You’re drooling.”

She startled into reality as Edelgard was suddenly right in front of her and dabbing a napkin at her mouth.

“How rude of me to eat like that in front of you,” Edelgard reproached herself. “Even if you didn’t like the food, I should’ve been more considerate.”

“No! It’s alright, Your Majesty- ack!” Monica had panicked at Edelgard’s abrupt proximity and somehow tripped over herself.

“Monica!”

Edelgard caught her deftly- and Saints above, she’s so close and her arms were so strong and why was she putting her face so close to her she could smell her sweetened breath and feel her body heat and Monica’s heart was pounding so thunderously she had no doubt Edelgard could feel it too.

“Monica, you’re burning up!” Edelgard fretted. She was holding her up with one arm as she tried to assess her. She pressed her hand to Monica’s forehead at first but then frowned at her gloves. 

Monica made an attempt to speak, but the words fizzled out like a miscasted spell as Edelgard removed her glove with her teeth so she could better assess Monica with skin-to-skin contact. Needless to say, her higher cognitive abilities were thrown to disarray.

Everything felt so surreal. The world was spinning. Monica was distantly aware of the door opening and Hubert walking in with some confused exclamation. But all that mattered in that moment was that Edelgard had knelt, cradling her still as she touched her face. Her strong and calloused hand tenderly wiping the sweat from her brow.

“Something happened to Monica,” Edelgard told Hubert, distraught. “She’s not responsive and she’s feverish!”

Monica tried to wrangle her tongue into talking sense before she could upset Edelgard more. “Your- Lady Majesty! I’m alright, this is just,” she said between desperate breaths, “a misunderstanding!”

“And now she’s delirious,” Edelgard cried.

Hubert knelt beside her as well. “How can that be, the cake wasn’t even poisoned?” 

“She wasn’t even the one to eat the cake!”

“I baked the cake!” Monica yelled. 

There was a beat of silence as both Edelgard and Hubert stared down at her. Then Hubert met Edelgard’s gaze and spoke in an even, dead serious tone. “You need to bring her to the infirmary immediately. I’ll sweep the area for any interlopers. The situation may be more dire than we realize.”

Monica wailed, “no!”

Any further complaint she had died in her throat as Edelgard stood up, cradling Monica’s head to her chest as she ran to get help. “Stay with me, Monica! I refuse to lose you now.”

Monica let out a defeated groan as she sank into Edelgard’s embrace. Perhaps under different circumstances, she’d enjoy having Edelgard rescue her again, but she wasn’t looking forward to explaining the situation after everyone’s calmed down.

At least Her Majesty enjoyed her cake.

 

Notes:

thank you Monica von Ochs for being yourself <3 sparkle on you funky little lesbian

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