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Sometimes he just watched his brother.
The brother that he wanted to stop, the brother he wished to see behind the seastone bars of impel down, rotting there forever for all the crimes he had commited.
Rotting there instead of destroying the life of innocent people.
Doflamingo had caused enough suffering already.
No more.
Someone needed to stop him, and if Rocinante couldn’t than who else could?
No one knew his brother as well as he did.
That was what he liked to think at least…
There were nights were Rocinante was lying wide awake with his gaze directed at the ceiling of his dark room, times where he was counting the hours and minutes wishing for time to move faster, wishing for this torture to end.
Every day is just another step closer to the goal.
Just one more day, just one more week, one more month, one more year.
However long it would take to stop Doflamingo, one day Rocinante would succeed.
He wasn’t staring at the ceiling right now, no.
He was staring at his brother’s calm face only a few inches away from his own.
Doflamingo was sleeping quietly, but only did so when Corazon was next to him.
No nightmares then.
Corazon didn’t hate his brother.
Neither did Rocinante.
Hate was a strong word after all…
Corazon loved his brother.
He would always follow him into his room when asked to, would complete any mission he was given, never disagreed with him and shared Doflamingo’s bed whenever he was ordered to stay.
Corazon’s only purpose was to love his brother.
Rocinante did not love his brother.
The nights he stayed at his side where the ones he feared the most. They made him feel again even though he had made a vow to himself to never feel anything else for his brother than the bitterness that the death of their father had left behind.
And yet he yearned for his touches, his kisses…
It wasn’t easy, had never been.
The lines between Rocinante and Corazon were beginning to blurr, and soon enough he wouldn’t be able to tell the two personas apart.
Were those two even so different from each other?
Wasn’t it just him in the end…
This was the day he was afraid of, the day where he would lose himself, the day that had to be stopped from happening at any cost.
Because if he lost himself Doflamingo had won.
Don’t feel anything for him.
Emotions would only complicate his mission.
Emotions for his brother had to be avoided.
Here he was now, lying next to Doflamingo, the monster, running his fingers through his long blond hair.
When had it gotten so long?
Doflamingo was asleep, Rocinante wasn’t.
He didn’t dare to fall alseep, hadn’t been able to sleep properly while being back at his brother’s side.
„I wish I could hate you.“ his voice was a small whisper, too quiet to wake up the sleeping monster that was lying next to him.
„I wish…I really do.“
But he couldn’t.
He couldn’t hate him.
And it only made everything worse.
One day he would stand in front of his brother, the finger on the trigger, unable to pull it.
All because he couldn’t hate.
One day his brother would stand in front of Rocinante, his face ice cold with lack of any emotion, and it would be Doflamingo pulling the trigger.
Not because of hate,but because of hurt.
In the end, both of them were unable to hate the other.
Now was not that day,though.
Today no one died.