Work Text:
“Luigi!” Peach grinned as she lifted her skirts and hurried down the steps to greet her friend.
“Princess.” the green plumber bobbled in a curtsy, even though he was in his standard overalls.
She giggled and pulled him into a hug, “Are you busy tomorrow?” she asked once she released him and let him pull back, though her hands stayed on his shoulders.
“Not really. Mario left this afternoon to visit the Jungle Kingdom for a few days, so I guess I’m left on emergency hero duty. Which of course means I just gotta stick around here doing whatever.”
“Great! I have a favor!”
Luigi gave a knowing chuckle. He’s heard that before. Many times. “You need a break again?”
“Yes. I’ve been super stressed, so Daisy has offered to take me out for a girls day, but it’s always super dangerous for me to go out to enjoy myself freely. If Bowser hears word about it, you know he’d ruin it!”
“You don’t have to explain, Princess, I’ll trade places with you. You go on your day trip as Luigi, and I’ll stay here playing pretty pretty princess.” he smiled, taking off his signature green cap and dropping it on her head over her crown.
“Thank you, you’re the best!” she hugged him again.
Luigi moving to the Mushroom Kingdom with Mario had brought Peach so many opportunities to just get out and not be a princess once in a while. The younger of the two brothers was almost as tall as her, and he could fit in her dresses. With the addition of a wig and a mask to cover his mustache, he was able to take her place and give her a break when she really needed it. As for Luigi? Well, it gave him the opportunity to wear beautiful dresses. He had a few simple dresses in his closet, but his work often called for his overalls, leaving him little opportunity to dress up.
Plus Peach’s dresses were much fancier. She had plans to get him a custom princess dress of his own. She just hadn’t found the right shade of green fabric to give to her seamstress yet to follow through on that plan.
“Come on, we can enjoy dinner together and tomorrow morning we’ll switch wardrobes!” she said, pulling him along by the hand.
They had just gotten comfortable, one of the toads who worked in the kitchens bringing out their covered plates to set before them, and Peach was in the middle of thanking them when a shadow fell over the light that had been coming in through the large windows from the sunset. Her words of thanks cut off as she, Luigi, and the toads in the room all looked towards it.
Something large crashed through, shards of glass shattering and bouncing across the polished marble floor.
“B-B-BOWSER!” the toad holding the two humans’ dinners cried out, dropping the plates and running back towards the kitchens. The toad guards all rushed forward to protect Peach, surrounding her and pointing their spears at the giant koopa king that now stood amongst the broken glass, smoke trailing from his nostrils.
Luigi, however, jumped forward between Peach and the koopa, a green mirror of the red hero’s actions in such situations.
Bowser puffed out more smoke in what Peach was sure looked like amusement. “What luck. No Red headache to deal with and the trembling little Greenie is right here. Kamak!”
The old magikoopa flew in on his broom, wand already waving. Peach saw Luigi start to move, to intercept and interrupt whatever spell was being cast, leaping at the magikoopa. But the magic was faster, and Luigi froze in the air, the shimmer of magic holding him in place at the same time Peach felt herself being lifted off the ground.
Her guards were leaping into action, but more koopas jumped from the airship into the dinning hall to intercept them, and Kamek was busy moving Peach and Luigi out of the castle and onto the airship where they were both stuffed into a cage.
This was a break from the normal kidnapping. Bowser had kidnapped Luigi before, thinking that he was Peach, but Bowser had never kidnapped both Peach and Luigi or Mario…
The koopas were all called back to the airship once the cage was locked up tight, and the ship started pulling away from the window. Koopa soldiers leaping across to not be left behind.
One brave toad guard tried to do the same, but didn’t quite make it and began to fall.
“No!” Peach and Luigi both cried out, reaching through the bars as if they could catch the falling toad.
Kamek huffed, but waved his wand and caught the toad, lifting them up to put them safely back in the broken window.
Luigi sighed in relief as Peach sent the old magikoopa a grateful smile. He might work for Bowser, but he never lets anyone get seriously injured.
Bowser didn’t seem to care either way. The king simply took a seat and stared at the two caged humans with an unreadable expression. Peach couldn’t tell if it was an improvement from Bowser’s attempts at flirting or not.
It was kind of creepy in its own way.
Bowser didn’t say anything to Peach or Luigi until they arrived back at his castle and the cage had been suspended up in the throne room.
“Welcome back, Peaches…Greenie.” the king rumbled.
Peach would have put her hands on her hips, but with Luigi trapped in the same small cage with her, there wasn’t space for it without elbowing him, so she opted to cross her arms, “Did you really have to interrupt our dinner?”
“Kamek.”
“Right away your hastiness.” the magikoopa said before disappearing, likely to go get food from the kitchens.
Bowser turned his attention back to the cage and stepped closer, reaching up to catch the ridge of it to stop the subtle, gentle swaying it’d been doing since it was hoisted up on the chain, “I think it’s high time for a little discussion, Peaches.”
That surprised Peach.
“You know, if you wanted to have a discussion you could have just calmly asked to join our casual little dinner.” Luigi frowned at the overbearing king. “Destruction and kidnapping was entirely unnecessary. Also, why am I here?”
Bowser focused over on the green plumber, “Because I demanded it, Greenie. Be grateful I didn’t have to send a team of my koopas to your little home in town.”
He pulled back and started to pace, leaving the cage to sway once again.
“You see, Peaches, I have been getting tired of your hot and cold attitude towards me. No one can blame me for thinking you were playing hard to get! It was clear you like me but want me to prove my devotion! Just sitting there waiting for me to pass your little test! Sometimes I’d get so close, and other times I’d be way off, but I couldn’t figure out what caused which reactions from you!”
Peach frowned in confusion, there was no way she was sending him mixed messages. She always treated him the same whenever he kidnapped her. She was very clear in showing that she would not ever be interested in him. She knew he was delusional, but how—
“But then I received word that one of my spies heard an interesting little rumor.” Bowser continued, fixing them both with an assessing look, “A rumor that claimed that you and Greenie here likes to shake things up by trading places. A princess in overalls and a plumber in a pretty pink dress who I, on occasion, have kidnapped him thinking he was you.”
Peach looked over at Luigi, whose face was bright red. She hadn’t ever thought about how Luigi would react to being kidnapped in her place, and they had never really compared notes. But he was such a sweet and gentle person…had he unknowingly led Bowser on by being nice?
“So tell me, which one of you was the princess that stole my heart?” Bowser growled out, hooking his claw through one of the bars to tug the cage forward, making the two humans stumble back into each other on the far side of the small space.
“Luigi, what did you do?” Peach asked, turning to look at her friend.
“I wasn’t trying to lead him on for you or anything!” Luigi insisted in a slight panic, “I never agreed to marry him on your behalf or anything, honest! I knew you didn’t like him so I—I thought I was making your feelings known!”
She sighed and gave his hand a squeeze, “But you were still your normal sweet, caring self, weren’t you?”
“Sorry, Princess…”
“It’s not your fault. You don’t have a single mean bone in your body, and unfortunately just saying no nicely isn’t enough to get it through Bowser’s thick scaly head. I guess when we started switching places we should have known to talk about what you should do if Bowser kidnapped you.”
“So, it was Greenie all along.” Bowser huffed, making Luigi flinch back, smacking his head against a bar of the cage.
Peach stepped in front of Luigi, “He never took my place to deceive you! He was just helping me get away from my duties for a bit!”
“Oh, I know. If it was a deliberate deception, Red would have used it to humiliate me.” Bowser then ripped the door of the cage open and tipped it so that they’d tumble out.
“Are—are you letting us go?” Luigi asked, confused.
Bowser shrugged and then picked Luigi up, “Peaches is free to go. Now or after dinner is served. You, on the other hand, will be staying.”
“What?” Luigi squeaked.
“Now just a minute! You can’t just keep Luigi prisoner for doing nothing wrong!” Peach protested.
“I never said I was keeping him prisoner!” Bowser defended, holding Luigi up away from her like a child keeping a toy away from a younger sibling, “I’m going to marry him!”
That shocked everyone into silence.
“What makes you think…” Peach started to say after finding her voice again, only to be interrupted by Luigi.
“Don’t you think that’s moving a little too fast? We haven't even been on a single date yet!”
“Sure we have!” Bowser huffed.
“You having me tied to a chair sharing afternoon tea, which I couldn’t even drink because I was tied up and wearing a mask, while thinking I’m Princess Peach doesn’t count as a date!”
“Wait,” Peach interrupted, “Are you—are you interested, Lu?”
Luigi’s face flushed red again, “W-well, he’s kinda hot and—I mean, why wouldn’t I be interested? I never said or did anything before because everyone knows he was after you, but knowing I have a chance now?” he shrugged, “But only if he does it right this time.”
Mario was not going to like this, but… She smiled and nodded, “Okay We’ll stay for dinner, you two can discuss how this is going to work, and then Luigi will come back home with me until whenever your first date will be.”
Bowser huffed, “I—suppose that’s fair.”
“And Bowser, if you hurt Lu, it won’t just be Mario coming to kick your tail!” she added as she brushed off her skirts and headed for the doors, “You better treat him like a princess!”
Behind her, Bowser was frowning, “I’m confused, is she saying I need to kidnap you?”
Luigi chuckled and shook his head, “No, she’s not saying that.”
-End-