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Guilt And Remembrance

Summary:

A butterfly flaps it's wings and Helena Ravenclaw made a life for herself in Albania.

She still dies,and everything stays the same.

Yet it has the possibility of changing the whole game.

Notes:

Basically Helena had a happy life before being murdered and fem!Harry isn't as alone as she thought.

hello : letter

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Helena was trapped. 

 

Oh was she trapped. Absolutely cornered. 

 

The Baron found her to return her back to Alba, back to her mother. 

 

She didn't want to go back,to the unlife she has led before,buried in her mother's shadows. 

 

Here in Albania,she was someone,she finally lived her wish. She was the village's resident healer, wisewoman and herbalist. She was bonded to someone who loved her unconditionally—even after learning of her being a witch—and had the most beautiful, playful,loving children a woman could ever want,who was well on her way to become men's nightmare due to being one sassy,witty smartasses. 

 

"Please Helena. Return to Alba. Everyone misses you," the Baron had whispered,Helena didn't believe him 

 

"No. No one does,my mother only wants her diadem back and the other Founders are too occupied to have even known I had left. I don't want to return to this non-life I had been living before," Helena answered him,unwilling to return and believe him 

 

"Please Helena. Your mother is dying ! It is her dying wish to see you one more time so she can—" Helena cut the Baron off 

 

"I won't return ! This is my last word on the matter !" 

 

"Helena...your mother misses you and is only alive to forgive—" the Baron's eyes darkened, Helena didn't see it 

 

"Don't you dare guilting me into complying with your demands Baron !" screamed back Helena, holding her head in her hands 

 

Then everything went so fast yet so slow. 

 

The knife on the Baron's waist left its sheath, poised to strike. Helena ducked in the nick of time,her own knife in hand. 

 

They circled each other,Baron looking like a rabid animal,Helena not faring any better under the adrenaline singing in her veins and magic. 

 

Their strikes were precise,fast,and powerful,the steel of their blades sparking as the strikes hit. 

 

The blades went to-and-fro for a while,until they tired themselves out. 

 

A branch snapped,making Helena swivel her head towards the sound and accidently lowering her guard. It was all it took for the Baron to strike true. 

 

Helena's eyes widened as she felt the Baron's blade pierce her through,eyes brimming with tears when she saw her ten years old daughter Myosotis with her seven years old child Storm look back at her with wide eyes and tears falling softly. 

 

"Nënë ?" asked Myosotis 

 

"I'm sorry my beautiful flower,my fierce storm," whispered Helena,tears falling freely 

 

The blade left her mortal wound. She fell forward with not much time left. 

 

"MAMA !!!" cried her children,rushing towards her and trying to focus their magic into healing her 

 

The Baron took a step back,as if slapped back into sense. He looked horrified,terrified and shocked all at once. 

 

"Mam—you are a mother ?" Helena glared at him with all the fire of a vengeful dragon, knowing she hadn't much left and that even her children's powerful magic put together won't be able to save her 

 

"Yes. That is why I refused to come back,I had a life here ! I was loved,I had a purpose,I was known for my own accomplishments and,most of all,I had built my own family !" Helena held lovingly her children's hands 

 

"You could have had all that back in Alba ! Even if you had your children here,you could have taken them with you !" Helena shook her head, her body shaking as her renowned strength left her little by little 

 

"If you think I would subject my children to the Hell that is having to fill expectations coming from long dead ancestors,you are so very wrong. I had to live through it,I won't let my children be saddled with that !" Helena felt her children's face burrow in her neck and tears wet her neckline 

 

Helena coughed up blood and watched it dampen her bright,colourful dress the colours of twilight and silently asked her children to be laid down. 

 

They did so with soft cries as their mother breathed her last and left this plane of existence. 

 

They lifted their heads and gazed harshly at the Baron,who backed up a little more at the enraged looks on the children's faces,carbon copies of Helena's. 

 

"Why ? Why have you done that ?" the Baron had the decency to look ashamed of himself and bowed his head 

 

"I don't have an answer for that. My control slipped,I had been so angry that I had no control over myself," 

 

"You don't have an answer,for murdering our mother ?!" the eldest screamed at him,her magic sparking on her skin and in her mismatched eyes 

 

"I don't...and I'm sorry,for everything," he said "I only wished to carry out her mother,your grandmother's,final wish to see her again,to apologise for having been the way she had been with her and forgive her for the treachery she has committed before passing on. That was the only thing that kept her alive,to see her daughter again,and I have failed this mission," 

 

"Mama never spoke of grandmother. The little times she spoke of her was of long ago,when she, Mama,had been a child. We don't know what happened,but something drastic must have happened for such a loving mother,in Mama's own words,to become so closed off and emotionally distant from her own daughter," the eldest and youngest spoke in turns 

 

"Very well. I must leave now,goodbye children," 

 

Both children saw the man teleport away,his dagger firm in his hand. They both knew that he was going to kill himself,his penance,they thought,for killing their mother and his failure towards their grandmother. 

 

They turned back to their mother's prone body and a new wave of tears and hiccups engulfed them. They pressed soft kisses on their mother's cheeks and forehead,pressing their hands on her heart,then belly,grieving the life that was cut short and the one that never will be. 

 

They lifted their mother up thanks to their magic and made their way towards their village, where their father,aunts and cousins awaited them,worried. 

 

As dusk set,the whole village gave their healer's the last rites before burying her in the one of the ornate tombs reserved for the healers. Many flowers adorned her tomb—the most present being the myosotis,also known as the forget-me-not—,along her name and date of birth and death,and her most often used quote. 

 

Someone bearing only intelligence without ambition and wisdom,is but a bird without wings : never to soar. 

 

It was a quote she often used with rambunctious and reckless teens,in many forms but with the same idea behind it. 

 

That you have to be balanced. Balanced in strength. Balanced in ideals. 

 

That was what she preached in,and her children were the most ardent believer and glaring examples of this. Well-rounded,they were an example to their generation. 

 

When night fell,as everyone left for their homes to sleep,no one saw the spirit leave the tomb, unable to pass on due to her silent regret of not seeing her mother. 

 

The spirit went to her former home,where her children,lover,niblings and sisters-in-law were sleeping. She kissed her children and niblings' foreheads,her lover's lips,and her sisters-in-law's cheeks goodbye before leaving for Alba, hope against hope,that her mother would still be alive by the time she came back. 

 

She falsely hoped. 

 

And the Baron was here,as ghostly as she was.


Helenium Potter was cleaning the attic of her Aunt's home,where she found a trunk in remarkable condition beside being dusty. 

 

It was written : property of the Evans family. 

 

Of course,it piqued Helenium's interest since she was a part of the family because of her mother, despite what her aunt so desperately desired. 

 

So she opened it,pricking herself on the lock by accident and gazing at the seemingly floorless trunk. 

 

Now thoroughly curious,Helenium decided to jump in the trunk. 

 

It was a bad idea. 

 

Helenium whimpered softly when she felt the aches in her feet and legs due to the fall. 

 

However,she was now inside it. 

 

Helenium searched the trunk and found whole rooms in it. She giggled happily when she found a library with tons of books. 

 

One book seemed to stand out for her. A blue leather bound book,engraved with a proud eagle and fierce wolf,encircled by imageries of nature. It was settled on a desk,as if it had been just read,and not left to collect dust. 

 

Helenium picked the letter on it and read. 

 

To Helenium,my daughter,my beautiful flower. 

 

If you are reading this,then I am dead and I couldn't watch you grow up and give you this trunk in person. 

 

I am your mother,Lily Evans-Potter,and I am writing this as I watch you toddle around, following the little eagle toy I had charmed to fly. 

 

Helenium,if you are with Petunia right now which I hope you aren't you haven't been raised knowing of your heritage because of her spite towards me and our family. 

 

You are a sorceress,Helenium,a being of magic. You are an Evans and a Potter,two proud,noble families of the Magical world. 

 

I hope you were raised by your cousins instead of your spiteful aunt,simply smiling at this letter of motherly worry instead of looking at this letter with shock and confusion. (Helenium felt almost ashamed,as this was exactly how she had been feeling) 

 

This trunk,my love,has been in our family for a long time,since our ancestor Myosotis Evanhoe started recording our family history and continued through each head of house. 

 

Our cousins,the Ravenclaw—renamed Blackmore—family,kept close contact with us through thick and thin,in ill and in health. Even when they fled entirely Europe during the 2nd World War—coinciding with Grindlewald's War in the Magical world—to settle in Southern Asia,thankfully also avoiding Voldemort's war—he would have annihilated them otherwise,since they were one of the last Founder's line still alive. 

 

I'm so sorry,it must feel like info dumping but I have no other choice for you to learn the basics of our family history and I cannot help for Potter family history. You will have in depths informations in the blue leather book. 

 

Anyway,one of the things I wanted to tell you about was the origins of your name. Helena Ravenclaw was the name of Myosotis and Storm (our counsins' ancestor)'s mother,so she was our ancestor too. She was the healer,wisewoman and herbalist of their birth village in Albania,where she had spent the last few years of her life. She was also known for her strength of character and wit. By naming you Helenium,I both continued our family tradition of naming our children after flowers and hoped you would inherit the qualities of our ancestor. What I do not wish for you,is for your life to end as soon as our ancestor's did. 

 

You will see her when you go to Hogwarts,the school Rowena Ravenclaw,Helena's mother and Myosotis and Storm's grandmother,helped found. 

 

She was quite nice once I got to know her. She was quite wracked with guilt at having died in front of her children's eyes. ("Who wouldn't be ?" Helenium murmured to herself as she rubbed her scar,which was in the form of angry lightning bolts) 

 

I must leave you now,my little loveflower,I honestly hope I do not see you in the beyond until you are at least a hundred,you hear me ? 

 

From Lily Evans-Potter 

 

Helenium cried quietly. She cried bitterly for the fact that she never got to know anyone from the Magical world,be it her cousins or even her mother and father's friends,surely they had some ! 

 

She found stray parchment,a quill and a corked inkwell on the desk. 

 

She giggled to herself at the peculiar things, since she was quite sure using parchment wasn't done anymore and even more so using a quill to write. 

 

She sat at the desk and wrote to the best of her abilities,her letters a little bit squiggly but still legible. 

 

Helo Blackmore family, 

 

I am Helenium Potter-Evans,I am your cousin bye my mother's side,Lily Evans-Potter—mama as a prety name—and I wanted to kno why you didn't write to me. Mama wrote that our families were close but I didn't kno of you until I red Mama's letter. Why's that ? Mama said that aunt tunia was spiteful against our family,what does spiteful mean ? 

 

I want to kno you soon,please respond ? 

 

Helenium "Lenia" Potter-Evans 

 

Helenium rolled the parchment after making sure the ink was super dry,tying it with a pretty ribbon of colour. 

 

She then realised she didn't know their address at all,it made her feel foolish for even writing the letter at all,before hearing a soft croaking sound. 

 

She turned to the sound and saw a beautiful raven with gleaming black feathers. 

 

"Hi pretty bird,who are you ? How are you ?" 

 

The raven answered amiably for the second question and took the quill in its beak to write on a piece of paper. 

 

Ebony 

 

"Ebony. So you are a lady raven ?" a nod from Ebony "Okay Miss Ebony. I have a question. Could you perhaps take this letter to the Blackmore family ? They are my cousins and I'd like to know them," Ebony nodded,holding out her talon 

 

Helenium understood and tied the letter to the talon. She watched the bird fly away on swift wings. 

 

"Have a safe flight Ebony !" 

 

Now she only had to wait for the answer.

Notes:

Do I do a sequel ? Or do I make a non linear story like I have done for another fic ? Please comment,it helps feed my Muse a little.

I have deliberately misspelled when writing Helenium's letter,since before learning how to really write,she only wrote phonetically.

Nënë : mother,mom,mama in Albanian (thx Google Translate)

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