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Danger Sense has been going off all morning.
It tends to do that when Izukuʼs sick, identifying the microbes making him sniffle all over his pillow as a dire threat.
It registers as a sharp pain in his head, and that along with the persistent ache from his head cold makes him practically wilt. He curls his limbs around a pillow, a makeshift substitute for somebody to hug—because that he can do.
Itʼs not like he can call someone and ask to be held. Besides his mom. She doesnʼt live so close by anymore though, and if he tells her, then Kacchan will know heʼs sick.
Izukuʼs starting to get the sneaking suspicion that the two of them talk sometimes, about him.
Oh well.
At some point heʼs going to need to get up and get himself some water. Maybe change clothes and wash his face. He feels kind of sticky because of his sweat. It can wait though.
The door clicks.
Izuku hears it swing open along with the sound of footsteps. Danger Sense stops sending him signals, but heʼs still sick, and now thereʼs someone in his apartment—so why does it think the threat is gone?
More footsteps. “Oi. Learn to answer your goddamn phone.”
Izuku doesnʼt lift his head off the bed to look at the intruder.
He just recognizes the voice. “Huh? Sorry. It was over there.”
“Are you sick?” Kacchan strides over until heʼs right by the head of the bed.
Izuku opens just one eye to look at him. “I might be. I didnʼt check.”
Kacchan gripes and grumbles on his way to Izukuʼs kitchen. Izuku can hear him opening drawers and cabinets trying to find something.
And when heʼs back, Izuku realizes the quest was for a thermometer.
“I could have told you where I keep that. If you just asked me,” Izuku points out.
“Shut up. Open up,” Kacchan demands.
That doesnʼt sound right. Itʼs a contradiction.
Kacchan yanks Izuku up into a seated position, shoving him back against the headboard of the bed.
This is taxing though and Izukuʼs head is heavy, so he starts tilting to the side. Maybe heʼll sleep a minute first. Heʼll just have to tell Kacchan thanks, but no thanks. No thermometer, please.
“Oh no you donʼt,” Kacchan gets into bed with him.
Heʼs always been so strong. He smells like a fancy cologne. Izuku doesnʼt know which one, he doesnʼt follow these things—but Kacchan always smells like a man, like the woods. Pine. Thatʼs it.
Kacchan smells like pine.
One time Izuku showered over at his place and he sort of smelled like that. Which means it must be in the soap too.
Kacchanʼs got his arm around him. Holding him upright. Itʼs like a side hug.
They never hug. They should hug more but they never seem to do that unless one of themʼs bleeding out or already unconscious.
“Your. Mouth,” Kacchan says.
What a weird thing to say.
“Come on, dummy. Open up for me,” Kacchan says, his thumb gently grazing over Izukuʼs bottom lip.
Uh-huh. Open.
Open for Kacchan.
“Good job,” Kacchan says. “Idiot.”
It doesnʼt even sound sarcastic or anything. Other than the idiot part. Then Kacchan slides the cold plastic of the thermometer over Izukuʼs tongue.
He tries hard not to gag. Kacchan wouldnʼt gag, probably. Not even in a dirty way. Heʼs just—heʼs good at things.
It feels like it takes forever for the thermometer to beep. Then Kacchan takes it out. Doesnʼt even bother to tell Izuku what it says.
Kacchanʼs arm stays propping Izuku up. Which is weird because Kacchan is a germaphobe. He should be headed out any moment now towards a sink to wash his hands like crazy.
“Can I lie down now?” Izuku asks.
“Yeah,” Kacchan says, slowly extricating himself from Izuku. “Go the fuck to sleep.”
“I was gonna do that anyway.”
Kacchan grunts in his response, which is typical of him, but he also tousles Izukuʼs already messy hair—which is new. Being sick isnʼt so bad if Kacchanʼs gonna come over and treat him like this.
He doesnʼt hear noise for a bit. Then the sound of the bathroom sink. Which must be Kacchan doing his hand-washing routine.
After a few minutes he feels the blanket being drawn up to his shoulders and tucked in around him. Thereʼs an eye mask put over his eyes and heʼs briefly sat up again and a glass of water is held up to his lips.
Thereʼs a cold hand touching his face and neck. Long fingers. A deeper voice in the room with Kacchanʼs.
Todoroki-kun.
Todoroki-kun?!
Wha—
“Easy, easy,” Kacchan says. “Icyhotʼs here to help.”
Izuku take a deep breath. Then he takes slow sip, followed by another and isnʼt pushed to drink any faster or slower. Just his pace. The hand at the back of his head just steadies him, the other must be holding onto the glass.
“Why the eye mask?”
“Your eyes were red. I thought it would help,” Todoroki-kun says.
“I donʼt own an eye mask,” Izuku says.
“Yeah, I know, Doofus. Itʼs mine,” Kacchan says.
Two pills are placed in the palm of his hand and Izuku swallows them both without asking what they are.
Todoroki-kun wouldnʼt give him anything that could hurt him. Neither would Kacchan. Unless they were fighting, then Kacchan would definitely give him a punch—he wouldnʼt hold back—and Izuku would kick him hard and Izukuʼs punched Todoroki-kun pretty hard before too, but that stuff is different.
This is safe.
“How do you feel?” Todoroki-kun asks.
“Cold,” Izuku says, lying back down and curling in on himself. “Bad.”
“I can do something that will help,” Todoroki-kun suggests. “It helps Katsuki when I do it with him.”
“Do not bring me into this,” Kacchan says
Izuku canʼt see it happen, but he imagines him squeezing the bridge of his nose.
“Nerd. You okay if Half and Half gets into the bed?”
“Mhm.”
Izuku tries to take the eye mask off to look at them, but Kacchan pushes it down again.
So mean. But Izukuʼs too tired to fight with him. Maybe tomorrow.
Besides, Todoroki-kun gets into the bed behind him as promised. Tucked under the blanket. Together. Then he wraps his arms around Izuku and tugs him backwards into his solid chest.
This is so much better than hugging the pillow. Todoroki-kunʼs so nice and broad and heʼs breathing quite close to Izukuʼs neck. Just perfect.
One of Todoroki-kunʼs hands brushes against the pulse point of his neck. “His heart is racing. Is that because heʼs sick?”
Probably not. Definitely not.
Izuku squirms in Todoroki-kunʼs hold and covers his face with his hands.
“Nah,” Kacchan says soothingly. “Heʼs just jumpy like that.”
Wait. Is the soothing for Todoroki-kun or is it for him? 50-50? 40-60?
Cards on the table: heʼd take 90-10.
He’d eat the crumbs of Kacchan’s love, even the leftovers of what Todoroki-kun gets. He’s hungrier than he thought he was, no wonder his brain is making him think of cake.
Coffee cake. Something that would keep him awake so he can spend time with Todoroki-kun and Kacchan. They don’t come and hangout with him as much as they did before they were dating. He misses them.
“Katsukiʼs going to clean up your apartment and make us something to eat. If itʼs alright with you, I can hold you while he does that.”
Izuku takes his hands off his face and stops thinking about tiramisu. “Yeah. Okay.”
Todoroki-kun squeezes him tighter around the middle. Then finds one of Izukuʼs hands in front of his chest and holds it in both of his.
It starts getting warm. Not all at once. It starts from Izukuʼs feet, which are freezing cold, right at the point where his heels rest against Todoroki-kunʼs ankles. His fingertips and hands start to feel warmer next. Then the warmth spreads from his extremities inward towards his heart, ribcage and chest.
“Your quirk,” Izuku says.
He needs to make notes about this. He needs to tell Kacchan about this. Wait—Kacchan probably knows already.
He gulps. Kacchan probably knows so many things about Todoroki-kun that Izuku doesn’t. Super special, extra close friend things that you can only tell people after you like them enough to kiss them.
Izuku’s been told he’s a nosy bastard. He wants to know things too though. He can’t help it.
“Is Kacchan okay with this?” Izuku wonders, settling in nicely against Todoroki-kun’s front.
Todoroki-kun is Kacchanʼs boyfriend. Izuku maybe shouldnʼt be getting spooned by Kacchanʼs boyfriend. Even if itʼs really really nice.
Especially if itʼs really, really nice.
“Katsuki would have done it if he could. We both decided it should be me. I can get colds, but I recover from them much more easily. The heat in my body can kill infections.”
Izuku sort of gets this. The quirk part. Heʼs theorized about Todoroki-kunʼs pyrokinesis. The part about Kacchan being willing to cuddle Izuku is weird though, but he is sick—maybe heʼs misunderstanding.
“Did Kacchan call you over?”
“He told me about your condition. I didnʼt know you were sick,” Todoroki-kun says. “Weʼre going to have a talk about that when youʼre better.”
“Iʼm sorry,” Izuku says.
Tears prick at his eyes.
Itʼs his first time being spooned. He doesnʼt want Todoroki-kun to be mad? He really doesnʼt want him to leave.
The thought of that makes it hard to breathe.
“Itʼs alright,” Todoroki-kun says. “I was just worried about you. You tend to push yourself too much, even when you donʼt feel well.”
“I donʼt do that.”
“You do.”
“I have a reason.”
“Whatʼs the reason?” Todoroki-kun asks.
“I have to. I have to protect them. Everyone. I have to protect you. And Kacchan. And Aizawa-sensei. All Might.”
“You can protect them—us the best when you take care of yourself. You know that.”
“I still worry though. I canʼt stop. Even when I do for a second…it just finds me again and I worry more. It wonʼt stop. It wonʼt leave me alone.”
“Think of something else. Something you like.”
“Like you?” Izuku blurts out.
“Like me.”
“Worries are still gonna find me,” Izuku says, then he confesses a secret. “I don’t think my brain likes me very much.”
“Donʼt worry. Iʼm here. How about this? Iʼll worry for you,” Todoroki-kun offers. “On your behalf.”
Okay.
Okay.
That sounds reasonable. As long as somebody’s doing the worrying.
“Just for a while though.”
He feels a kiss pressed to the back of his head. He’s surrounded, enveloped by warmth.
He loves Todoroki-kun so much. He wishes he could tell him someday and not creep him out or something with how much he means it.
“Try to sleep,” Todoroki-kun says.
Izuku wonders what Kacchan does when he and Todoroki-kun are like this. Whether Kacchan listens to him or gets indignant about being told what to do. If it’s like a little game they play, to argue with each other until they get sleepy enough to fall asleep in each other’s arms.
It makes him ache, along with the ache in his body. Todoroki-kun’s here though. He said he would worry.
He’s the kindest person Izuku knows, and the best.
It’s the sounds of Kacchan walking around somewhere else in the apartment, his footsteps, coupled with Todoroki-kun’s firm hold that lull him into a bubble of calm.
Izuku breathes in and out, knowing that they’re both here. Then he rests.
-
The last time he slept so deeply must have been…must have been…he doesnʼt know.
By the time he wakes up he smells tomato, onion, spices—some kind of curry. One of his nostrils is still clogged but the other works just fine. Thereʼs good food coming. Which means Kacchan was cooking.
Izuku must have shifted during his nap. Because now all the covers are pushed off of him and the side of his face is squished against Todoroki-kunʼs chest. His hand is splayed across Todoroki-kunʼs hard abs.
He stirs. Taking another sniff. Yup, definitely a spicy curry.
He hopes Todoroki-kun doesn’t think he was sniffing his abs?
“Heʼs waking up,” Todoroki-kun announces.
“Good. Iʼm almost done here,” Kacchan calls back.
Izuku starts to get a bit more awareness. He pushes the eye mask up so itʼs more like a hairband, pushing his sweaty bangs off his face.
He cuddled Todoroki-kun…it must have been for a while. Is Kacchan really not gonna be mad that Izuku did that with his boyfriend?
“Your eyes look good,” Todoroki-kun says.
Before Izuku can remember that Todoroki-kun is only talking about the lack of redness, because Izuku is sick, he says “yours are nice too,” like a fool.
“Thank you,” Todoroki-kun says. “Do you think you can make it to the sofa? Or do you want me to carry you?”
Izukuʼs throat goes dry.
He—he saw it just the one time. In their apartment.
Kacchan and Todoroki-kun. Kacchan sleepy and tired and so, so different from how he normally is. Reaching his arms out towards Todoroki-kun and demanding that Todoroki-kun make himself useful and carry him to bed.
They were acting like there was no one else there. Even though a bunch of friends were around. And Todoroki-kun picked up Kacchan in his arms and Kacchan tucked his head against Todoroki-kunʼs chest like it was easy. Like it didnʼt make him feel weak or any type of way. He threw up a middle finger at everyone else and said “so long suckers” and Izuku watched them leave.
He didnʼt even know who he felt more jealous of. Todoroki-kun carrying Kacchan. Or Kacchan being carried.
He wants both. He wants everything. Wants a taste of the easy, simple love that surrounds them all the time. He just wants to be a part of it.
“I can make it,” Izuku says. “I can do it myself.”
He scrambles out of bed on uneasy feet and slowly makes it to the sofa where Kacchanʼs waiting.
“You look better,” Kacchan says, looking him over.
He isnʼt mad about the cuddling thing. Izukuʼs food is there. Curry and a bit of rice. Not yet mixed. In a plain white bowl.
Before they let him eat, they take his temperature again. Kacchan just sighs. “Same as before.”
“Thirty eight and a half degrees,” Shouto says.
“I was gonna tell you before but I thought anything under forty and youʼd throw a fit and force something productive on yourself,” Kacchan says.
“Like what?”
“Taking your snotty ass outside and saving the whole wide world.”
“I wouldnʼt do that.”
“Yeah. You would. I would. Thatʼs how I know.”
Shouto doesnʼt participate in the argument. He just leans Izuku back and takes the bowl in his hand. He mixes up a bit of the curry with the fluffy white rice. The smell of itʼs already wafting to Izukuʼs nose.
“Let me feed you,” Todoroki-kun says.
Izuku wants to protest, but Todoroki-kun looks so keen on it. He doesnʼt want to disappoint, so he opens up his mouth.
Since he doesnʼt need to lean forward himself anymore, he pulls his legs up and sits cross-legged. Nice and comfortable.
Todoroki-kun blows on the first bite himself before he offers it to Izuku.
“Itʼs not too hot,” Kacchan says. “I fuckinʼ tasted it.”
Oh. Kacchan tasted it first?
If Izuku starts crying now heʼs never gonna stop. He manages to just sniffle a bit. Hold it back. Then take the first bite. The rice is really soft. It melts in his mouth. The curry isnʼt too spicy either.
Itʼs just got a little something in it that clears his sinuses.
“This is amazing, Kacchan.”
Todoroki-kun offers him a second bite. Then another.
Kacchan leaves for a second. But heʼs back with a blanket he throws over Izukuʼs leg and a few DVDs.
Izuku knows those DVDs. “We watched these when we were kids.”
“I know,” Kacchan says, he looks like heʼs about to say something else, but then he doesnʼt.
“I havenʼt seen any of them,” Shouto says.
“Then you should get to pick, definitely,” Izuku takes the DVDs and hands them over. “Kacchan, when did you even get these?”
“You were out for a while,” Kacchan shrugs. “I bought some stuff.”
Oh yeah. Izuku was out. Izuku was cuddling Kacchanʼs boyfriend. That’s a thing that was somehow allowed to happen.
“These arenʼt just rented?” Izuku asks. “How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing. You donʼt owe me a goddamn thing. Now shut up and pick something to watch,” Kacchan says.
He looks rattled, heʼs not making eye contact anymore, but Izuku knows not to push it.
“Todoroki-kun should pick,” Izuku says. “For what itʼs worth, I think youʼll like the middle one. Thereʼs a cat.”
Kacchan snorts and Izuku feels a little lighter. He likes when he can (sort of) make Kacchan laugh.
“There’s a cat for like ten seconds,” Kacchan says.
“Still,” Todoroki-kun says. “That’s the one I pick.”
Kacchan takes the disk out of the box. Then he fiddles with Izukuʼs old DVD player, cursing all the way through until he figures it out.
Todoroki-kun feeds him curry rice till it’s done and he’s scraping the bottom of the bowl. Then they just sit there. Nicely squished.
This is the best afternoon Izukuʼs had in a while.
He’s still tired though. Thereʼs an ache in his chest, shoulders and back. He wants to keep watching but he should probably sleep.
Itʼs Kacchan that notices him fidgeting. “Feel like shit, huh.”
Izuku starts to think he only felt better all that time because Todoroki-kun was holding him for so long, before. Because he fell asleep like that and it was comfortable and warm, all that warmth loosening his muscles everywhere they ached.
“I donʼt wanna go to bed again,” Izuku says, hoping he doesnʼt sound as small and sad as he feels. “I wanna finish watching with you.”
Both of you.
Who even knows when they could do this again?
They never do this. All three of them. He loves this. Even if his head hurts. Even with a scratchy throat and a clogged nose. He loves it.
He needs it.
He’s not going anywhere.
“You need a wash first,” Katsuki says, ruffling his hair. “You stink.”
“Iʼll take you,” Todoroki-kun volunteers. “If that’s okay?”
This time Izuku canʼt hold himself back. He puts his arms around Todoroki-kunʼs neck. Todoroki-kun supports his back and the underside of his knees.
This is just like the way Todoroki-kun carried Kacchan that one time. Just like that.
Itʼs so terrible—but Izukuʼs starting to love being sick. He likes being taken care of, not having to think.
Itʼs only a few steps to the bathroom. Todoroki-kun sets him down so heʼs seated on a stool. Then he grabs a comb from behind Izukuʼs bathroom mirror and sits in front of Izuku with his knees on the cold tile floor.
“Can I stay with you?” Todoroki-kun asks. “To help.”
Izuku nods yes. He blinks sleepily and yawns.
His hair is a mess. All sweaty and damp. But Todoroki-kun runs his fingers through his curls. Very slow, so it doesnʼt hurt to loosen the knots. He works in sections.
Izuku suddenly feels very conscious about the texture of his hair. The way the curls clump and how theyʼre always frizzy. He thinks of the smooth shine of Todoroki-kunʼs hair, how touchably soft it looks when itʼs tousled and fluffy.
No wonder Kacchan likes to touch Todoroki-kunʼs hair. Izuku would too if he could. It’s so perfect.
“Sorry,” he says quickly, then looks at his own feet.
“What are you sorry about?” Todoroki-kun asks.
“Nothing? I donʼt know. Being sick. Making you do all this.”
“It’s no trouble. Everybody gets sick sometimes.”
“Being me,” Izuku says.
That’s what he’s really sorry about.
“What?” Todoroki-kun says.
He doesn’t understand. Now Izuku’s gone and made it weird.
“Sorry,” he says again. “I’m just…I’m gonna stop talking now.”
“Explain it to me,” Todoroki-kun says. “If you want. Take your time.”
Todoroki-kun waits. He sits there and he de-tangles Izukuʼs hair. When heʼs done he gestures for Izuku to raise his arms and he slips off his shirt. Then folds it and puts it to the side.
“Your hair,” Izuku says finally. “It looks soft.”
That’s a start. That’s definitely part of it.
“Do you want to touch it?”
“Y-yeah,” Izuku says.
Todoroki-kun dutifully lowers his beautiful head. Probably for Izuku to reach out and touch it with his hand. But idiot that he is, Izuku just leans forward and puts his whole face in it.
Smells like strawberries. Oh.
So soft. He was right.
Kacchan’s so lucky, getting to be close to Todoroki-kun all the time.
He draws back after a few blissful seconds. After which Todoroki-kun studies him for a few moments, just blinking.
“You like my hair. You donʼt like yours,” Todoroki-kun says. “Is that what you were trying to say?”
Is he disappointed?
“I donʼt hate it or anything. Itʼs just not anything to write home about?”
“I donʼt mention anyoneʼs hair in my letters to my mom,” Todoroki-kun says. “I mention you a lot. I donʼt specifically mention your hair. Anyone whoʼs seen a picture of you would know how pretty you are.”
“Huh?”
“I like the way the curls point in different directions. Some parts are more wavy than curly. Mineʼs just all the same.”
Izukuʼs still stuck on pretty.
Somewhere between stuck and spellbound.
Thereʼs a lightness, a sense of giddiness starting from his core and spreading through his entire body. Heʼs got goosebumps. His teeth chatter and his face heats up bad. On top of the fact that he has a fever and heʼs warm already.
Heʼs stuck on it the whole time Todoroki-kun takes a towel and holds it under the warm water in the sink, then brings it over to wash Izukuʼs face, neck and chest.
Todoroki-kun thinks heʼs pretty. Todoroki-kun thinks heʼs pretty and he gives him one of his prized soft smiles as he washes Izukuʼs back.
“Pretty,” Izuku accidentally mumbles out loud, as the word fills his head.
“Katsuki thinks youʼre pretty too,” Todoroki-kun says. “He loves your hair. Just as much as I do. Your freckles too. Thatʼs just to start with.”
Izuku canʼt bring himself to believe that. No matter how much it takes his breath away just hearing it. No matter how much he wants to.
He quietly shakes his head.
No.
No way.
-
Todoroki-kun gets him dressed in toasty warm PJs and instead of carrying him like a princess, on the way back to the living room Izuku gets to put his arms around his neck and his feet crossed around his midsection while Todoroki-kun hoists him up with one arm under his posterior.
He feels like a koala. A happy, lovesick koala who’s gotten everything he wants today.
Kacchan laughs at him when they come out. “Enjoying yourself?”
This breaks Izuku out of his reverie. He scrambles off of Todoroki-kun and makes a beeline for the sofa. Sorry, sorry, sorry running through his head.
They donʼt join him right away. He can hear them talking though. Deliberately quiet so he canʼt hear.
Thatʼs not fair.
Izuku looks around to notice the apartment. Itʼs the cleanest and nicest itʼs looked in years. He takes a sniff. Did Kacchan spray air freshener in here?
Kacchan comes to him first. He sits next to Izuku on the other end of the sofa. Then he looks at Izuku, groans and grabs the edges of the blanket to properly tuck it around him.
“Wasnʼt saying stop,” Kacchan says. “Just looked funny. You. Him.”
Unless theyʼre big, meaningful ones, Kacchan is kind of bad at apologies. He doesnʼt even use the main words. Like sorry.
“Sorry,” Izuku fills it in for him.
Theyʼve always been able to complete each other, in that regard.
“Not funny bad,” Kacchan says, smiling a bit. “The other funny.”
“Okay,” Izuku says, anxious to move on. “Can we watch my movies now?”
“Yeah,” Kacchan says, then he busies himself with starting the video playback, getting food.
He brings a water bottle for Izuku to hold and he taps a red line on it, which Izuku knows means thatʼs how much you better drink.
This is the only way Kacchan can show him he cares. Izukuʼs always appreciated it. But he hears the way Kacchan loves Todoroki-kun. Heated glances. The way they always show up to places hand in hand. The way they lean in to talk to each other. Cheek kisses and “arenʼt you a pretty thing?”
Izuku would give anything to be Kacchanʼs pretty thing.
He just…he knows the way he looks. It wouldnʼt fit him. The way this pajama top, with itʼs sleeves that are a little too long—obviously Todoroki-kunʼs—doesnʼt quite fit him. They must have brought the clothes with them from home.
Because they donʼt live here. Theyʼll never live here. And yet, somehow, they knew that Izuku probably hadn’t done his own laundry yet.
“When do you have to go?” Izuku asks.
“We’re staying the night,” Kacchan says.
It’s not even a real answer to the question.
He doesnʼt even ask permission. He just pushes through a boundary that truthfully never existed. Kacchanʼs always been welcome to stay as close and as long he wants.
“Where are you gonna sleep?”
“Right here. Floor.”
Bed would only fit two. With Izuku lying on top of Todoroki-kun, then maybe. But…Kacchan probably doesnʼt wanna risk cuddling Izuku any more than he has to.
When Todoroki-kun comes back his hair is damp. He must have been taking a shower. Instead of his usual berry smell, he smells like Izukuʼs spring mountain soap.
Izuku picked that kind a long time ago because he read an article that said All Might uses it, and he made his mom buy it. If he wanted to, he could have switched it up.
But old habits die hard. He shifts to the side so that Todoroki-kun can sit next to Kacchan. Making space.
Kacchan grabs him and pushes him back against the sofa cushion.
Todoroki-kun provides closed-captioning. “We want you in the middle.”
Oh.
“Or…sit on my lap,” Todoroki-kun suggests. “That helped before, right? With your temperature. When I held you.”
“Thatʼs-thatʼs okay,” Izuku says, fighting off his inner yes, please.
“I donʼt mind,” Todoroki-kun says. “I want you to feel better.”
“Donʼt wanna make you two feel weird,” Izuku says, so quiet heʼs almost surprised Todoroki-kun can hear.
“Why would it be weird?” Todoroki-kun asks. “Katsuki and I do it all the time.”
“Thatʼs different though, right? You love each other. So. Not weird.”
And you donʼt love me.
Which is fair, but—
Sometimes…
It feels like they do. It feels like love when theyʼre around. Even the sound of their voices.
This was the best day. Or at least…it was. Itʼs awkward now. Did he ruin it?
“But I do love you,” Todoroki-kun says. “I love you as much as I love Katsuki. And I donʼt think holding you would be weird.”
It settles. Warm and hearty like the curry rice from before, somewhere in Izuku he never thought any words could touch. A dark and gnarled place, like the scars along his arms.
Heʼs loved
Heʼs loved.
“I love you too,” Izuku says, before he can talk himself out of it. “It wasnʼt…it wasn’t weird for me either. In the bed.”
It felt right.
“I was just worried…” he glances at Kacchan.
Kacchan grabs his chin, turns it towards him, slow enough that Izuku can prepare for a dismissal that never comes. “Worried about what? That Iʼd think there wasnʼt enough of this stupid Halfie to go around? Thatʼs bullshit. He loves you. You love him. Iʼm good with that. You need anything else?”
Yes.
One more thing.
Just one. Just once.
“Kacchan.”
He wants Kacchan. That’s all he wants now.
“What.”
Want. Need. Itʼs all badly blurred. His head hurts.
“Kacchan,” Izuku says again, like a plea.
Todoroki-kunʼs love emboldens him. He meets Kacchanʼs red eyes. The most terrifying part is that he canʼt run, not anymore, not from himself—he knows exactly what heʼs asking for.
Kacchan doesnʼt drop his gaze, his grip on Izukuʼs face softens. “M right here.”
Izuku nods. This is what he wants. But, just—a little, little more.
Heʼs crying. The silent way. Tears flowing down his cheeks.
Todoroki-kun loves him.
That—that should have been enough. Should have been more than halfway there. Itʼs not that either half is more important than the other. He just needs both.
Heʼs always been greedy that way. Needy. Bad.
Quirkless.
Useless.
“Kacchan.”
Now he canʼt do anything but say that and cry. He canʼt even explain it right. He needs Kacchan. He needs to be Kacchanʼs pretty thing. He needs to be his.
“Right here,” Kacchan repeats. “Not goinʼ anywhere. Donʼt—crybaby.”
Or was it donʼt cry, baby. Izuku canʼt tell.
He wants to know if Kacchan loves him. He wants to be his baby the way Shouto is his Shou, baby sometimes at night when he thinks no one is listening—but Izuku is, heʼs listening because he canʼt help it, heʼs just always around.
He wants to be on Kacchanʼs arm. In the newspapers. Both of them. Dynamightʼs boyfriends. Loved out there in the open. In front of everyone.
“Kacchan, please.”
Kacchan takes a kleenex and he wipes off Izukuʼs snotty, tear-stained face. “Iʼm never fuckinʼ leaving you. You should know that by now, dumbass. Look at me.”
Izuku already is. He does that a lot.
“I donʼt know whatʼll get through to you. Itʼs…a lot, with us. Itʼs always gonna be. I never expected anything to change when I told you I was sorry. Donʼt expect it now. Didnʼt wanna do this while youʼre sick and tired…but I’m going to tell you how it is,” Kacchan says. “And you’re gonna listen.”
Izuku nods. He’s going to listen. He’s ready.
He can be good.
“I love you, you idiot. So fucking much.”
What?
He—what?
But—
“You love me?”
“Yeah,” Kacchan repeats. “Course I love you. Deku.”
Is it an endearment? Or is it an insult?
Both?
His head spins.
He leans back into Todoroki-kunʼs arms, tucked against him, surrounded. “Iʼm not too heavy?”
He doesnʼt feel heavy anymore. He just feels weightless. Like he could float away (even without his quirk).
Kacchan loves him.
Kacchan loves him.
It plays in an endless loop.
“No, youʼre not heavy,” Todoroki-kun says, then adds, quieter. “You fit just right.”
It shouldnʼt be possible. Izukuʼs never fit.
He was born quirkless first and then he had a quirk more powerful than anyone else's. Different one way, then different all over again.
He thought heʼd have to fight for this too. A place to fit. A place to just...be himself.
Heʼs got notes upon notes that are effectively about how to be loved. Lovable. Palatable. How to make it so that people like him. How to stop doing the things that seem to annoy people the most.
But this? Itʼs easy. Itʼs already done?
Heʼs loved.
He was loved from the beginning, right? Thatʼs what it was. That—that funny feeling from before.
Izuku can look around now and see it.
Kacchan cleaned the whole apartment. Even Izukuʼs laundry bin is missing. Did he do the laundry too? Kacchan went out and bought food and he cooked and cleaned and he hates germs but heʼs sitting so close.
He hates talking about his feelings…about romance, but he spoke. They both did.
And…and…
Todoroki-kun—Todoroki-kun came over and he held Izuku for hours. He took Izuku into his lap. Like it was easy.
Izuku canʼt believe that.
Canʼt believe—
Canʼt…
How?
The tears come. Not the quiet kind this time. He cries so hard he shakes. Except this time someoneʼs there to absorb the aftershocks.
“Such a mess,” Kacchan says, wiping Izukuʼs face off again.
He even holds up a kleenex to Izukuʼs nose and says “blow.”
He makes Izuku drink up to replace the tears he cried and he rants about how staying hydrated is key to beating infections.
“When…when could we kiss?” Izuku asks.
Kacchan comes close and presses a kiss on Izukuʼs warm forehead.
“Not that kind,” Izuku says.
Happy but also put-out.
Kacchan just smirks. “Youʼll get the other kind when youʼre better.”
Izuku needs to get better as fast as he can. “More water?”
Todoroki-kun unscrews the top of the water bottle, drops some ice cubes in from his cold hand and then melts it with his warm one. Itʼs an amazing trick. Izukuʼs only seen him do it once or twice before.
He takes the first sip and he swears it taste better than tap water.
Eventually, someone turns the TV back on and starts playing the movie. Izuku hadnʼt even realized it was paused.
Todoroki-kun says itʼs okay if Izuku just wants to rest his eyes and listen. They can still sit here. But he keeps his eyes wide open, he doesnʼt wanna miss even one part.
He makes himself comfortable on Todoroki-kunʼs lap with the blanket over all three of them. He falls asleep like that, at least part of the way. But he wakes up a bit when thereʼs no more sound from the TV and he hears them talk about him while he has his eyes closed.
“Is he asleep?” Todoroki-kun asks.
“Uh-huh. Knew he was dead tired,” Kacchan says.
Thereʼs a pause. Then Kacchan mutters cute little shit.
Is that about Izuku?
“He is cute,” Todoroki-kun says. “You should tell him more. He doesnʼt like his hair.”
“Whatʼs wrong with his stupid hair?”
“Thatʼs what I said. Without the stupid part.”
“Thanks,” Kacchan says. “For coming today. I know you wanted us to sort out our stuff.”
“Iʼm here to help,” Todoroki-kun says.
Izuku listens to them kiss.
Kacchan’s breathy voice. “Donʼt get too cocky now.”
He falls asleep before he hears the rest.
-
The next morning Kacchan helps him take a shower and they play board games. Izukuʼs still feverish—just slightly less so—so he plays sitting across Todoroki-kunʼs lap. For certain games that require secrecy, theyʼre one team.
Still managing to lose, even two against one.
Later, they do a puzzle. One of All Might. One of a bunch of cats at a table baking Christmas cookies.
“This is cute,” Todoroki-kun says. “But you should never leave cats in the kitchen unsupervised.”
There was a time, a while ago, when Kacchan would never let Todoroki-kun into the kitchen unsupervised. He started teaching him how to cook after they started dating.
Yesterday, Kacchan promised Izuku would be a part of that. A little culinary boot camp.
He canʼt wait.
Every time Izukuʼs body temperature comes down he gets closer to getting the kiss he wants. The anticipation makes it hard to rest. He wants to run around.
He would if he could. Kacchan keeps sitting him back down.
“Weʼve decided Katsuki will kiss you first,” Todoroki-kun says.
He waits till Kacchan leaves to get some more water. Izuku’s drinking as much as he can now in his quest to get better. He also asked for coffee cake, but Kacchan said hell no, and Todoroki-kun said maybe later.
“You talked about this?”
“We argued. He thought it should be me.”
“You didnʼt?”
“I do. But I had a lot of time with you these past few days. He wants a turn. Even if he doesnʼt say it.”
“He doesnʼt like being left out,” Izuku understands.
He didnʼt like that either. Before.
No one does. Especially when itʼs part of a pattern. Left out because youʼre quirkless. Left out because your two best friends are in love and youʼre not.
When Katsuki comes back he kisses Shouto on the mouth and for the first time Izuku feels like heʼs looking at something that belongs to him.
The same way he heard them whisper to each other the night before. Saying something about a stupid nerd. Then, laced with love, this one’s ours.