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The first time she had collapsed, weak and coughing, was frightening. The fact that a broken magical artefact could do so much damage in such a short time, especially considering it was only a small brooch, was mind boggling. But she had known the consequences and risk beforehand and judged them acceptable.
Seeing Gabriel so worried over her warmed a place inside her heart that had been cold for a long time, practically freezing over when Emilie succumbed to the same illness that now plagued her.
Watching the naked worry on Adrien’s young face, however, was like something sharply jagged stabbing directly into the warm spot, completely unhindered by any ice.
It was a very unpleasant and uncomfortable feeling.
Nathalie wanted it gone.
When Gabriel sent his son out of the room, she was pleased that his back was to her so she was unable to see that expression on his face anymore. Although the slumped shoulders and anxious air that hung over him like a cloud made something in her chest twinge and ache in a different way. Still unpleasant.
Such a silly weakness was not going to stop her in her quest to help Gabriel achieve his dream - she wanted the same thing after all. So, Nathalie donned the Peacock Miraculous again and again. Each time left her a little weaker, less mobile. It messed with her insides, giving her headaches, coughing fits, blurry vision, and a dull ache. It started somewhere in her chest and seemed to radiate out from there in fitful, erratic bursts, feeling a little like sandpaper scraping by. The sandpaper also seemed to sap the strength from whatever it scraped, leaving her feeling like a human-shaped mound of jelly sometimes.
Every single time Nathalie was unable to hold herself straight, suppress a cough or hide a wince near Adrien, that expression returned. The concern in his green gaze - like hers, so much like hers - only grew with each incident.
Nathalie hated it.
That jagged knife returned with each look. It was visceral, stabbing harder, digging in deeper, always getting closer to something vital. It left her feeling raw and scared her more than anything else ever had in her whole life. None of her exploration adventures, none of her work as Mayura, none of her fights against the heroes of Paris had ever come close to the fright that fourteen-year-old boy could instil in her.
Adrien seemed to have his own magic that worked solely on her, and it was eerie. Still, this whole endeavour was for his benefit as well. She simply needed to persevere. The boy needed his mother. He’d thank her one day.
While resting in bed, on orders, Nathalie couldn’t help but ponder. Adrien would thank her one day, true, but seeing the toll his mother’s disappearance had taken on him the past year was hard to watch. And it was only getting harder with every defeat Ladybug and her ever-expanding team handed them. How much longer could any of them last without Emilie’s bright and elegant presence?
The first time she had worn the high-tech exo-brace that went on the outsides of her legs and up her spine was not how she’d imagined getting back on her feet. Being freely mobile once more was, of course, amazing, and not something she would take for granted ever again. Leaving her room, which had become more of a sickroom than anything, felt incredibly freeing, like she was truly spreading her feathers again.
Then Adrien had seen her.
He dashed right over, flinging his arms around her, and froze. His head turned to meet her gaze, his green eyes shining from the moisture that gathered at the corners. Nathalie felt him tap part of the exo-brace on her back, stare down at one of her legs to see the brace faithfully holding her up, and look back to her face. The moisture spilled over.
“Nathalie?” he whispered. “What’s this?”
That jagged knife was back, tearing further than ever before, almost ripping through. She panicked. With her left hand holding a clipboard and tablet, she used her right hand to wipe away the tears from his cheeks.
“Just something to help while I build my strength back up. I’m here, I’m okay,” she said. Keeping a wobble out of her voice was hard but she managed. Hopefully.
Either way, Adrien gave her a tentative smile and slowly pulled back, though his eyes flicked over to the large portrait that took centre stage in the grand room. It had been taken just before Emilie’s funeral and he was likely still drawing comparisons. “I’m glad to see you out of bed, and I hope you won’t need the extra help for long,” he said, the smile becoming bolder. He gave her a wave and headed to his room, the click of the door announcing the fact that she was alone in the room again.
The last flimsy curtain that had been protecting that something vital was pierced.
Nathalie gasped.
She placed a hand where the Peacock Miraculous used to sit. Adrien had nearly lost her just like he’d lost his mother. Unlike Emilie, Nathalie would not be wished back. Such an honour Gabriel would bestow upon his wife, and only his wife - Nathalie was not necessary in Gabriel Agreste’s perfect world, no matter how much she might wish to the contrary.
Until Gabriel finally succeeded in getting the Miraculous of the Ladybug and the Black Cat, and making his wish for Emilie to awaken, restored to complete health, Nathalie was the only mother figure Adrien had left.
With how obsessed Gabriel had become with defeating the heroes and gaining his prize, and the horrendous amount of help she had given him, Adrien had basically lost all parental influence. Gabriel had done his best to keep his son busy and out of the way, a never-ending task to which she was also an accomplice. For months now, the boy had been all but alone.
They had thought they were doing the right thing, that they were helping. All they had done was take away his remaining parent and whatever he viewed Nathalie as. The only thing they’d helped was to feed the negative emotions of Parisians and the increasing obsession of the city’s supervillain.
That… wasn’t right. Keeping him occupied with various things was not a substitute for spending time with his family. Gabriel certainly wasn’t going to hang out with his son. He was far too invested with his company and villainy, at least in his own mind, that even taking five minutes to check in with his son was too much time and effort to bother with unless it furthered one of his own goals.
Gabriel wouldn’t. But Nathalie could and would. She’d been spending far too much time, often fruitlessly, with the elder Agreste. Now, she was going to shift that time and attention to the Agreste that actually needed it. Gabriel was going to be busy for a while, so there was no time like the present.
Walking a little slower than usual, with a bit less confidence in each movement, Nathalie made her way across the large space to stand in front of Adrien’s bedroom door. She raised her hand and hesitated.
How silly. She’d knocked on this same door countless times to speak to Adrien. But that was just it, wasn’t it? Now she wanted to speak with him. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had an actual conversation with the boy instead of simply telling him his schedule, reporting any changes, and bluntly answering any inquiries that often ended with a, “No.”
Nathalie Sancoeur was an accomplished woman. She was the personal assistant of Gabriel Agreste and had also worked for Emilie. She had faced much worse than a young teenager she had known, and tutored, for years. Her hand moved and her knuckles rapped upon the door.
“Come in!” he called out after a moment.
The door clicked open, and Nathalie barely registered her hand being the cause before she stepped inside his room and shut it behind her.
“Nathalie! What are you doing here? Is there a change to my schedule?” he asked.
Yes, it was clear this talk needed to happen now. “No, there’s no change. Come sit down with me, Adrien. We need to talk,” she said. She walked over to the white couch and sat down somewhat carefully, still unused to the exo-brace.
“Talk about what?” He sat down as close as he dared, but was a whole foot away, eyeing her and the brace gingerly.
“Tell me, Adrien… Are you happy?” she asked.
He looked utterly befuddled. “Happy? Of course I’m happy! You’re up out of bed,” he answered.
Nathalie couldn’t stop the wry grin that appeared. She had forgotten how positive he could be and was glad it hadn’t inadvertently been crushed out of him by their negligence or the Akuma and Amok attacks. “That’s not what I meant. Adrien, are you happy with your situation?”
“My… situation?”
“Do you like modelling?”
Adrien still looked confused, but he was not as adept as her at hiding the exhaustion in his eyes. “It makes Father happy.”
“I’m not asking about how your father feels about it, I’m asking how you feel about it.” Now he looked completely lost. It was okay, she could fix this. She waited patiently. Nothing else was as important as this right now.
“I…”
She gently nodded.
“I don’t… want to model anymore,” he said in a rush.
“Can you tell me why?” she asked. Her tone was soft, nothing like her usual brusque manner.
He certainly took note, shyly looking her square in the eyes before turning his face aside. “I want more time to spend with my friends. I don’t want to be around Lila any more than I have to. I want to feel like more than another of my father’s employees!”
It was like a dam had burst. That vital something gave a harsh pang at the tears that started slipping down Adrien’s face again. He felt more like an employee to Gabriel rather than his son? She tugged his sleeve and opened her arms, and he immediately threw himself into them, still somehow mindful of the contraption she was wearing. He sobbed, each sound sending another pang through her, and she began to run her fingers through his hair, lightly petting his scalp as she went.
The vital something didn’t hurt as much anymore.
This was nice. It was cathartic, probably for both of them. She continued to hug and pet him until his sobs faded into sniffles and those sniffles died down. He pulled back and she let him, trying not to grin at his red, embarrassed face.
“I don’t know if I can cancel all of your shoots, but I’ll certainly cancel every single one where Lila is also participating,” she said firmly. “Does that sound good to you?”
Adrien all but lit up like a Christmas tree. “Oh, yes! Please! That would be beyond amazing!”
No, it wasn’t too late to fix this at all. Nathalie made a note on her clipboard and tablet, subtly glancing at Adrien as he watched her, looking happier with each letter marked down, including: More time with friends. She turned to him, staring attentively. “Is there anything else?”
“Why are you doing this now?” he asked, almost soft enough to be a whisper.
“Because… I decided to face this instead of turning away like I have been,” she replied. “None of us have been okay without Emilie around, but all of that time in bed made me think that while I’ve been there for your father, no one was there for you. Gabriel is a grown man, and he can manage without me now. I’m going to focus on being there for you, like I should have been months ago. I’m so sorry, Adrien, can you ever forgive me?”
The poor boy looked like she’d reached up to the heavens and plucked a star down, just for him, a wish granted before the star could fall.
“You’re here now and that means a lot to me. Of course I can forgive you,” he said. He smiled, bright and wide.
Her smile in return was genuine for what felt like the first time in a miniature eternity. “So, is there anything else?” she asked again.
“My friends were meeting up a little later to try out this new food place. Apparently the milkshakes are really amazing. I wanted to go but Father said no…” he said, trailing off as he ducked his head, eyes downcast.
Nathalie stood up and gestured for him to do the same. “Come along, I’ll drive you there myself. You’ll have to tell me where it is though.”
“But what about my bodyguard?”
She raised an eyebrow. “I was under the impression that you would rather be with your friends without his presence.”
“Well… yes,” he admitted with an awkward shrug. “Are you saying you’ll let me hang out with my friends without him?”
“Not if you don’t stop dawdling,” she teased, already walking towards the door, hand extended to open it.
Adrien scrambled off the couch. “No, wait! No dawdling here, nope, none.”
Nathalie merely smirked and led the way, passing by Gabriel’s office without so much as a side glance. Adrien trailed after her like a blond duckling, nervous and excited. When they reached the car, she pointed him towards the front seat and he leapt into the car, one leg bouncing up and down.
It outlined how much damage had been done, but she was starting to fix it right now. She listened as he babbled out the name of the place, giving her directions as they wound their way through traffic-filled streets. They found the place and Nathalie pulled up and parked. Adrien was beaming, pointing out the window.
“My friends are here!” he exclaimed.
“Go have fun. Call me when you’re ready to be picked up and I’ll come and get you,” she told him. She tried to shoo him out of the car, but he spun in the seat, leaned over and hugged her as best he could.
“Thank you, Nathalie.”
She squeezed back for several long seconds before letting go. “Don’t keep your friends waiting. Go have fun and be sure to try a milkshake.”
One last flash of his happy smile and he was out of the car, eagerly greeting his friends. They all appeared very pleased to see him. Adrien was in good hands with them - the boy that had been Akumatised over failing to convince Gabriel to throw his son a party, the girl that ran the Ladyblog, and the young designer that had won Gabriel’s derby hat competition.
He waved at the car and went inside, one arm slung around his cap wearing friend.
That vital something didn’t hurt anymore.