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Jonathan is a lopsided person. It’s the best way he can think to describe his experiences in life. In some areas, he’s got more insight than some adults do, having the responsibilities of a father and a breadmaker before he finished puberty. But, at the same time, there are so many things considered teenage rights of passage he’s never come close to touching.
He’s never really had friends, never been to parties where he can act stupid and get drunk and never had a rebellious phase, among many other examples. It feels like he skipped being a teenager in almost every way, going straight from child to adult, shifting from having practically no responsibilities to having too many. He couldn’t afford to be reckless or uncertain like his peers, both with his meager wealth and constantly draining energy reserves. He’s gained a world-weariness that some adults haven’t achieved yet, a distinct mind for practicality and planning with just a hint of cynicism.
Even still, for all that Jonathan has realized about the world from necessity, he is practically an ignorant toddler when it comes to interacting with others. He knows how best to speak with a superior, to make sure one’s boss or teacher thinks highly of them, and to appease his mother and be an entertaining, enlightening guide to his brother. But for his equals? He is lost in the wind.
When he used to try and be sociable, even for a little while, he was often told that he was almost too formal, not offering up any information that wasn’t needed, like he was making small talk with a customer. Occasionally, he would go too far in the other direction, explaining and speaking like he would with someone much younger than him, coming off as condescending. It never ended well either way.
So Jonathan stopped. He kept to himself even more, rarely speaking in school, becoming even more disconnected from the teenage population. If anything, he just hoped that he could wait until college or after for those his age to catch up to his mindset, allowing him to finally relate.
But then Steve and Nancy had approached him, giving him a wrapped camera several times better than the one he had. She had kissed him on the cheek, with Steve smiling at him in a way that made his insides twist. It was strange, and he could’ve written it off as a single interaction, but then they just… didn’t leave him alone.
The pair seemed to hover around him, always going out of their way to talk to him, joking around with him, and sitting with him. They actually paid attention to what he said, too, remembering and caring about what was going on in his life. It’s kind of nice, to be honest, but Jonathan is more than a little confused.
But Steve and Nancy never explain themselves, and Jonathan isn’t sure how to ask. He feels like a kid caught between two adults talking about something he doesn’t understand, and it’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t like not being in the know, but he also doesn’t want to risk annoying them, so he stays quiet for now.
Slowly, they get bolder, and Jonathan finds himself rarely alone with either one of them or both. They start touching him too. Just little ones. Like when Steve bumps shoulders with him, or Nancy grabs him by his wrist or elbow. It’s intimate in a way Jonathan’s never felt before, those casual interactions that most friends should have. It takes him a while to get used to it, but he looks forward to each little interaction once he does.
Jonathan never initiates contact. He doesn’t want to risk pushing any boundaries he shouldn’t. He’s already made that mistake with them before and doesn’t want to cross that line again. Especially now that there’s more at stake, he could lose their friendship if he acts creepy like he did before, so he just lets them do what they want, not that he would want them to stop.
But it doesn’t stop there. Jonathan finds himself being invited over to do something about twice a week. Sometimes it’s to go out and get dinner or watch a movie, but sometimes it’s just to chill at one of their homes. Most of the time, it’s the three of them, but occasionally he’s just with Steve or Nancy if the other can’t make it for whatever reason.
It’s nice. Jonathan figures this is what it must be like to have friends, and he enjoys his time with them, looking forward to it every time. He even hesitantly initiates those friendly touches they give him, and he earns a bright smile when he does. He does wonder when they hang out, just the two of them. He’s with them a lot, but they must be making time for each other, as they are dating after all, but he isn’t sure when that would be. But if they’re happy, he doesn’t need to make things awkward by asking about it.
On one in-home movie night, Jonathan is again confused when Nancy plops down on his lap. It feels like it’s maybe a little too close for friends, but what does he know? And she and Steve don’t seem to think about it much, so Jonathan finds no reason to worry. He allows his arms to go around her waist and hold her to him, a sense of rightness and warmth spreading in his body.
And only a week after, Steve starts to hold his hand whenever they’re out together. Jonathan knows Steve is a tactile person, almost always touching Nancy in some way, so he figures he must be more comfortable with their friendship now to be tactile with him. It brings Jonathan that same warmth and makes his stomach flip a little bit every time he squeezes Steve’s large, warm hand.
Jonathan must have passed some invisible test because, after those incidents, Nancy and Steve are even less restrained around him. They often hug him, holding one or both of his hands. Nancy occasionally kisses him on the cheek, and Steve throws an arm around his shoulder when they sit together, pressing their sides together. This all soothes a pain in Jonathan he didn’t know he had, buzzing with such simple companionship.
Jonathan doesn’t question it when the three of them end up basically in a cuddle pile during movie nights or end up all sharing the same bed when they sleep. He sometimes finds other students looking at them oddly, but he figures they must be closer friends than most, which would happen after fighting a monster together. He pays them no mind, focusing on the people that make him happy.
It’s during spring break that Nancy tells him that she loves him. Jonathan is stunned but smiles back, telling her that he loves her and Steve too. And he means it too. He sometimes wonders if he feels more for her and Steve than he should for friends, but either way, he loves them, and he’s so pleased that they can love him as a friend. She nearly cries, and he panics momentarily before she hugs and thanks him. Steve is equally happy, holding him close for hours after.
~~~
Jonathan has been spending almost every waking moment he can with Steve and Nancy, who are happy to be there as well. Today, they’re walking through the woods together so Jonathan can get some nice shots of nature. He isn’t sure why, but his photos always seem to come out better when he goes with them.
They walk for hours, with Jonathan capturing blooming flowers and bright sunrays. And if at least a quarter of the photos are centered around his companions, none of them are complaining. They finally stop at a small clearing close to their starting point, sitting in the grass, sipping water and chatting about anything.
Jonathan is babbling about how the lighting angle can change so much about a scene and the impression it gives when Steve pulls him into his lap. He barely falters, continuing to talk as he’s held by his friend. He makes a confused noise when Steve gently grabs his chin, turning his head toward him so they can look each other in the eye.
“You’re so cute when you talk about things you love,” Steve says, and Jonathan’s face heats up. But before he can say anything to deny it, he finds Steve’s lips pressed against his own. Jonathan gasps into his mouth, eyes wide as he sits perfectly still.
Even he knows that kisses like this are far from friendship, especially with how Steve lingers, tongue tracing along his bottom lip. He can barely even think, never mind react, staying perfectly still. His first thoughts are confusion about why Steve would kiss him, but his next thought is that it feels really nice and correct deep in his heart.
Jonathan stares wordlessly when Steve pulls away, a slight, self-satisfied smirk on his face. He spares a glance at Nancy, who he expects to be surprised or even upset, but she’s… not. She’s looking at him with a patient, inquisitive expression. But her face slowly morphs into a concerned frown as Jonathan continues to stare, trying to figure out if this is another test or a joke, or what.
“Sorry,” Steve mumbles, his smirk fading away, “I know touch is an iffy thing with you, and I should have asked to kiss you.” Steve is completely serious, looking at Jonathan with such potent, sad puppy-dog eyes. Jonathan’s heart melts a bit, but he’s caught on something.
“Ask me?” Jonathan echoes. Why would he be thinking of kissing Jonathan at all? That doesn’t make any sense. Nancy answers for Steve, scooting closer to gently take Jonathan’s hand.
“We’ve noticed how you are, Jonathan,” Nancy says softly, “It took you a while to get used to us touching you at all. Not that that’s a bad thing,” she rushes to say, “We weren’t trying to push you too far, but we should have asked.” Jonathan blinks and swallows. She’s not wrong about that, but it still doesn’t answer why they would be working up to kisses at all.
“Why… why do you want to kiss me?” Jonathan finally asks. He’s not sure what reaction he expected from that question, but it wasn’t the wounded noise from Steve, whose arms tighten around him, and Nancy’s frown of righteous anger.
“Why wouldn’t we?” Steve asks, sounding like a kicked puppy. “You’re, like, so kissable and pretty.”
“We don’t have to kiss at all,” Nancy presses, “We won’t be offended at all if you don’t want to. But we very much would like to kiss you.” Jonathan blinks, digesting this.
“But…” Jonathan starts, frowning. “Isn’t that a… romantic thing? I didn’t think people would want to kiss their friends.”
“What?” Nancy whispers, eyes wide. Steve tenses, gasping slightly.
“I mean, I liked it,” Jonathan rushes to say, “I-I just didn’t expect it.” His heart beats that much faster as he prays to himself that he didn’t just ruin things. He didn’t mean to make them upset.
“Jonathan, what do you mean we’re not… not romantic with each other?” Nancy forces out. Jonathan tilts his head at her.
“Why would we be?” He asks, “You and Steve are happy together, and I’m your friend, right?” He shrugs like it should be obvious, and to him, it is. Even if he likes them more than he should, they’re already taken with each other. So he’ll just have to settle with friendship.
Suddenly, Steve pushes Jonathan off his lap and into the grass, the shorter boy landing on the ground with a thud. It’s much rougher than Steve usually is, and Jonathan looks up to find Steve stumbling over himself to stand up, rubbing his face and shaking his head.
“I-I can’t. I just can’t,” Steve mutters to himself, “I-I have to go.”
“Steve, wait!” Nancy calls, but the other doesn’t listen to her, turning and just about running towards the cars, not looking back once. Jonathan is more confused than ever, guilt creeping up his spine even if he doesn’t know what he did wrong.
“What’d I do?” Jonathan asks in a raw voice. Nancy looks at him before sighing.
“We’ll talk later.” Her voice is stern and carefully level, clearly holding back something, but before Jonathan can ask anything more, she’s off running towards where her boyfriend went, leaving Jonathan alone.
Jonathan sits there for several minutes. He didn’t think he said anything to offend them, but he clearly did somehow. Maybe they’re offended that he questioned the kiss? He’s never seen friends kiss before, but he kisses his family, and he wouldn’t feel good if they so openly rejected a kiss from him. That makes the most sense to him. He does have a fleeting thought that they may have meant it romantically, but he quickly squashes it. It’s illogical in every sense of the word. Not only with them being taken but wanting Jonathan as well.
Jonathan really hopes they can move past this and that the couple will still want to be around him. They’ve worked through worse, but he doubts this’ll be a quick fix with how distraught they were. He wracks his mind for what to do next, whether to call and apologize or just give them some space. Nancy said they’d talk later, and the thought of reaching out is daunting, so he figures he’ll just wait for them to reach out.
It figures that he would fuck up the only friendships he had.
When Jonathan finally gets up, he saunters to his car, his feet feeling like lead weights. Steve’s car is gone, leaving his by its lonesome, and his heart clenches. But he gets inside, starts the engine, and drives home, trying not to be plagued by images of Steve’s heartbroken face.
~~~
Jonathan does his best to seem like everything is normal at home, but it’s clear from Will’s frown that he’s not doing a very good job at that. But the boy doesn’t say anything about it till they’re almost done with breakfast, which Jonathan is thankful for.
“What’s wrong?” Will asks softly. Jonathan sighs, pushing around his half-eaten eggs.
“Nothing, I’m alright,” Jonathan says with a weak grin. Will just frowns at him.
“You’ve been off all morning and after you came home yesterday.” Will crosses his arms, staring definitely at Jonathan. The older boy hesitates.
“It’s nothing, really. Just… Steve and Nancy, and I had a… disagreement in the woods yesterday.”
“You had a fight? What about?” Will presses.
“I’m… not totally sure,” Jonathan admits, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding, and they need some time to think.” Will frowns, tapping his fork against his plate.
“What happened?”
Jonathan is quiet. On the one hand, he wants to tell him, if for no other reason than to just get it off his chest. But he barely understands what happened and doesn’t want to burden his brother with his issues.
“You can tell me anything,” Will continues, smiling at him. Jonathan cracks a grin.
“Well, when we were in the woods, we were hanging out, and Steve… Steve kissed me.” Will gasps, his fork clattering onto his plate.
“Seriously?!”
“Yeah. I asked him why because Nancy wasn’t mad or anything, and they told me they really wanted to kiss me. I was even more confused because we’re just friends, but when I said that, they got upset and ran off.” Jonathan sighs, rubbing his face. But Will just looks puzzled.
“You’re just friends?”
“Yeah?” Jonathan says slowly.
“But whenever you’re here, you always look so in love!” Will argues, “I’ve heard you three say you love each other multiple times.”
“Love as a friend,” Jonathan says with a shrug. Will shakes his head.
“I’ve seen how they look at you, Jonathan. They don’t look at you like a friend. And you do a lot of… not-friend things.”
“Like what?”
“People don’t sit on their friend’s lap during a movie most times,” Will points out wryly, “And the cuddling you three do is… a lot.”
“It is?” Jonathan asks simply after a slightly too-long pause. “Huh.”
“Jonathan,” Will sighs, but there’s a glint of amusement in his eye. “How are you so observant about others around you but not about what’s happening in front of your face?”
“When I observe people, I’m not usually the one in focus,” Jonathan grumbles, pointedly leaving out his lack of friendships as a reason.
“You should really talk to them,” Will presses gently.
“I know, I know,” Jonathan sighs, rubbing his face. “But I have no idea what I’d even say to them.”
“Just tell them the truth,” Will says like it’s obvious, “If they really like you, then they’ll understand, even if they’re hurt, right? Then you can go from there.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jonathan says, “Would you be okay on your own?” Will rolls his eyes, making a shooing motion with his hand.
“Despite what Mom seems to think, I can be left alone.”
“I’ll call if I end up being late,” Jonathan promises, standing and tossing his half-eaten food away. Will nods, waving goodbye as he cleans off the last of his plate, Jonathan rushing out before he can talk himself out of it.
It’s not until Jonathan reaches his car that he realizes that he has basically no plan at all. It’s a weekend, so Steve and Nancy should be home, but that’s no guarantee, and after last night, who knows what their plans might be. However, he has to try, so he takes a deep breath and starts his car.
Jonathan decides to try Steve’s house first. He was the one who was more distraught last night, or at least the one worse at hiding it, so he figured that he’ll be the priority. Also, he must admit that an upset Steve is much less terrifying than an infuriated Nancy. However, he still moves fast to knock on Steve’s door before his nerves catch up to him.
“Hello-” Steve’s lackluster greeting is cut off as he takes in who’s at the door. His hair and clothes are adorably disheveled like he just got out of bed, but Jonathan doesn’t miss how his face is slightly puffy and his eyes red-rimmed like he was crying some time recently.
“Uh, hey,” Jonathan whispers, shifting on his feet. “I think we need to talk…” Steve’s face is carefully blank, the slightest hint of frustration in his expression.
“Really?” Steve snarks, “I thought you made yourself plenty clear last night.”
“No, I didn’t,” Jonathan presses, “T-There’s been a misunderstanding, Steve. Just let me in, please.” Steve pauses, considering before stepping back, allowing Jonathan inside.
“Thank you,” Jonathan says as he steps into the living room. But he freezes as he looks over to the couch, making eye contact with Nancy, barely refrained fury in her face. She raises a single eyebrow at him, and Jonathan’s heart leaps into his throat.
“Oh, hey,” Jonathan says dumbly. Nancy smiles sharply.
“Hello,” She says, that single word holding so much emotion.
“So, there’s been a misunderstanding ?” Steve barrels forward. “Was it a misunderstanding when you crushed us, or was that just a side-effect?” Jonathan’s eyes widen.
“Crushed you?” he echoes, “What… what do you think I did?” Steve looks ready to explode, but Nancy raises a hand, silently corraling him in before answering herself.
“To us,” she bites out, “It seems clear that you did not feel anything close to what we did, and we can’t decide if you were malicious in it or not.” Jonathan opens his mouth, but she continues, “Did you mean it when you said you loved us, or were you just stringing us along?”
“I did!” Jonathan blurts because that was always true. Even if he didn’t fully realize just how much it was at the time. “I-I didn’t mean to lie to you, I promise.”
“I… I’ve never had any friends,” Jonathan starts, swallowing his instinct to keep such vulnerable information to himself, “Before you two, I just had my family and some coworkers I tolerated. I didn’t know how friends… worked. So, I just… I thought you two were being friendly to me.”
“You thought all that was friendly?” Steve cuts in, voice clearly doubtful.
“ Yes, ” Jonathan presses, “I figured that, because of what happened, we were just closer than most friends. And I know friends can be tactile with each other, and I just thought that’s how you two did it. And because you two are together, it… never even crossed my mind that it could be something more. Until that kiss.”
“I meant it when I said I loved you two. I still do. I love you two as my only friends and… and people I wished could be more,” Jonathan finishes with a whisper, not looking at the other two.
“W-Wait, you wanted more ?” Steve asks, voice softer than before. Jonathan nods.
“There were times I wanted to ask or were confused about why you two acted the way you did. But… I didn’t want to rock the boat and possibly lose the only two friends I’ve ever had, so I just… didn’t. Just the fact that you loved me as a friend was more than enough.”
A heavy silence follows Jonathan’s confession, the teen raw from such unbridled honesty, body trembling slightly as he fights back tears. Jonathan’s eyes are locked onto the wall beside him, and he can’t force himself to look at the others. He’s not sure what he’s expecting to see, disappointment, anger, something else, but no matter what, he can’t stand to face it. What little composure he holds with an iron grip will instantly vaporize.
There’s a warm touch on his shoulder, light and gentle. But for just a moment, he’s transported back in time to when he was much smaller and his father hated him showing any vulnerability. Panic stabs at his heart, and for just a second, he’s sure that the next thing that will happen is a sharp slap or punch. He spins around, knocking the hand away on instinct, tensing and bracing for retaliation, and inhaling sharply.
But nothing happens. The air remains still and quiet. Jonathan blinks open his eyes that he hadn’t even realized he had closed. Steve stares at him with wide eyes, but he doesn’t see anger or disappointment, just a lingering horror. His hand hovers awkwardly from where Jonathan knocked it away.
“Sorry,” Jonathan forces out, swallowing thickly. Embarrassment swells in him. He knows that neither of them would ever do that, and it’s been years since Lonnie has either, and he mentally slaps himself for reacting that way.
“It’s fine, man,” Steve says softly, holding none of his earlier anger.
“We should apologize too,” Nancy chimes in, standing from her seat but still staying several steps away. Jonathan whips around to stare at her. “We…” She frowns, searching for the words. “We didn’t realize that you could’ve not known.”
“Yeah,” Steve agrees, “No offense, but we knew you weren’t popular, but we figured you would’ve had… someone. Friends. Maybe a girlfriend.” Jonathan cracks a smile.
“Thank you for your faith in me,” Jonathan mumbles, earning a crooked grin from Steve, lightening the air around them considerably.
“Seriously,” Steve barrels on, “You’re great to be around. You’re super kind and smart. So, who can blame us for being shocked?” Jonathan coughs, turning away as blood rushes to his face.
“Either way,” Nancy jumps in, “We should have talked about it. And we’re sorry we didn’t.”
“Sorry I didn’t ask anything,” Jonathan replies. Nancy just shakes her head.
“It’s not your fault. You were scared and didn’t know what would happen. I just… want you to know that we won’t just leave because of things like that. We want everyone to be on the same page. As friends or otherwise.”
“You said you liked us,” Steve points out, taking a baby step closer to Jonathan, “As more than friends. Do you think we could… start over, maybe?” Steve sounds more meek than Jonathan’s ever heard him before.
“You still want to?” Jonathan blurts, and Nancy sighs fondly.
“We still love you, Jonathan, and now we know that you never meant to hurt us, which we should have been certain about from the start. Of course, we would still want to.”
“Oh,” Jonathan mutters, “Then, uh, yes. Yes, please.”
Steve smiles blindingly, opening his arms. He leans forward before abruptly stopping himself, keeping his arms open as an invitation. Jonathan grins, meeting him halfway and quickly being pulled into a satisfyingly tight hug. Nancy approaches, and she’s quickly snatched by Steve into the hug as well, squishing Jonathan in the middle.
“Can we kiss? Properly this time?” Steve asks giddily. Jonathan chuckles and hums an agreement, leaning in to meet Steve halfway. It’s a gentle, chaste kiss, but it confirms that this isn’t a dream and it’s magical. As soon as Steve pulls away, Nancy nudges him to get her turn, which he is happy to give.
“I love you two,” Jonathan whispers.
“We love you too.”