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Nathalie entered the office with apprehension.The more time passed, the more she could see Gabriel disappear, drowning behind Monarch, and she was scared.
She knew he did not have limits anymore, she had seen the Alliance given to Adrien, Monarch wouldn’t hesitate to use the teenager.
“Nathalie? You seem worried, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, I was just thinking about past things, dead things.”
“You know, you can talk to me…”
“I… I prefer not to. I learned to take care of myself, I don’t need help, I will not bother you more.
He frowned, she was lying through her teeth, he knew it, she stood there so proudly, why was she lying? She should be telling the truth. She should…
Nathalie retained a sigh. She was just protecting herself, she could not let him know what she was thinking, she would tell Gabriel but… Monarch was there, she saw him. She stood a little more straight, blinked to chase every single emotion from her eyes, tightened her smile. Armour was on.
“Tell me the truth.”
“I am not lying.”
Breathe. He won’t come in, don’t let him guess your trouble. You’re at war.
“You’re cold these days.”
“I’ve always been cold.”
Let’s forget Mayura. Mayura was a mistake, I should have let him fall.
“Answer me.”
“No. I’m not your kwami. You can’t give me orders.”
“Do you really think that?”
No.
“Yes.”
He shook his head, his terrible smile eating his face.
Nathalie rolled her eyes. Saying something was impossible, but she could manifest how much she disagreed. Coldness, lies, eyes-rolled, distance. All the time. But this smile…
Breathe.
She saw him disappearing under the ground, he had seen her disapprobation, of course he had seen it, he didn’t like it, he didn’t like her lie. He would pass his nerves on someone, then come back, but it would not change, she feared him.
And she felt all her feelings flooding through her veins, she couldn’t stop, fear, sadness, regret, culpability, pain, anger, flooding, drowning her, everything she retained when he was there, suddenly coming back, as his departure meant she could let it go.
I need to calm down…!
She inspired, expired slowly, trying to get her mind on the breathing, trying to ignore the flashbacks of his craziness that were taking over her spirit, overlaid with his ancient moments of kindness, before the power addiction defeated him, the spiral of memories was growing bigger and bigger, the negative emotions amplifying at each flash, at each word coming back to her, his fragility at uni, his excitation during their travels with Emilie, his worries in front of danger, his constant determination, his presence, his laugh and his happiness with baby Adrien, all of that gone, turned into obsession, darkness, sadism, hate, waste…
“You said I couldn’t force you. Let’s discuss that.”
“Get. Out. Of. My. Head. Right. Now.”
“It’s you who gave me the right to enter.”
“I let my guards down. But you can’t akumatize me.”
With him in her mind, the armour had come back immediately. Coldness. Distance. To hide all the feelings in which she was drowning one minute before.
“And what am I doing?”
“You technically can. But you shouldn’t.”
“Why?”
“ I don’t want to serve you, Monarch.”
“It’s not up to you.”
“Oh, really? I have positive emotions too”, she smiled, thinking about her closeness with Adrien, her strength that never abandoned her, the excitement at each of Ladybug’s victories.
“You…”
“Gabriel Agreste, you can not control me. You can upset me, you can make me worry, you can break my heart, you can tear my soul apart. But you will never control my mind, my brain.”
“Your emotions are so strong, you’re really denying their power right now?”
“They won’t take control. Yours took it, once, then faded. Go out. Now.
“It’s fascinating how you keep a mask on even if I am literally reading your thoughts.
“You really want me to leave, don’t you?”
“…”
“You seem shocked.”
“You could not.”
“Oh yes, I can.”
“You will not.”
“Not for you. I told you. You can destroy me emotionally, you can break everything I am, you can reduce my heart and hopes to dust. But you will never be in control.”
“I still am in your head.”
“Not now anymore.”, she answered while taking a deep breath.
She opened her eyes. In front of her, a little white butterfly seemed lost, flying desperately in every direction. She lifted her hand, letting the insect come to rest on her fingers, she was looking at it, tears finally rolling off her eyes. Rejecting the akuma, she had forced Gabriel, Monarch, to purify it.
While she was screaming in her head, arguing by telepathy, she didn’t realise what was happening.
But with the fragile creature she was staring at, that had taken refuge on her bare skin, Nathalie realised all the implications of her exchange with Monarch.
He had dared. He dared to akumatize her without her consent, to violate her intimacy, to intrude in her thoughts, her feelings.
Like Gabriel had really disappeared.
“How could you…”, she whispered, “how could you become like that?”
Something screamed inside her that she could not let that go.
This offense should have consequences.
She went straight to Emilie’s portrait, composed the secret code that led to the observatory.
Finding her way through the hundreds of pure akumas, she reached to Monarch. Grabbed his wrists violently. Looked at him with daggers in the eyes. The cold was flooding from her. And her words came out as violent as knives.
“You. You will learn. If you want to fight then you will have to fight alone. What you did, I can not accept. You’ll need to find a way to terrorise the city all by yourself. And look for someone else to run your company. I am leaving and I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.”
She didn’t let him answer. She was gone, one minute later she was standing in front of Adrien’s door. The teenager was the only reason she would stay. The only one she felt like he would regret her. The one she needed to protect.
I’m sorry, Emilie. I failed. Everywhere.
“Adrien? Could I talk to you, please?”
“Yes, of course, come in Nathalie!”
“Thank you”, she whispered while pushing the door.
“Nathalie? Is everything ok? You seem… worried.”
“I am. I… I had a fight with your father. Bigger than I ever thought a fight with him could be. And… I can’t stay, I’m sorry…”
“Nathalie… What… Did he hurt you? Why…”
“We disagreed on something. It’s one of his bad days, it went too far very fast. No, physically, he didn’t hurt me… But emotionally… He said things he shouldn’t have. Don’t worry about me, Adrien, I’ll be alright. I can take care of myself.”
“I promise. Please, if you leave… Could you call me, from time to time? I’ll miss you.”
“Of course I will, Adrien!”, she smiled while pulling him in a gentle hug.
“Thank you…”, he whispered, nestled against her shoulder., “Thank you for everything. You know, you’re like a mother to me, I truly love you…”
“I’m sorry that you have to see me leave, maybe I should…”
“No. Don’t stay just for me. Do what’s best for you, please, you need to take care of yourself. We… We’ll get through it. I’ll get through it, I lived worse and I have my friends… Dad… I don’t know… I… I can’t even fathom how he could hurt you in any way, he needs you so much…”
“I don’t think he does. He can figure things out by himself, he would not have… If he’d really need and estimate me, he wouldn’t have said that. He’ll be ok, in some way. He doesn’t need me. If he really does, he can reach out to me. Goodbye, Adrien.”
“Goodbye, Nathalie… Hope to see you soon…”
”Are you alright?, he asked after a pause, “You seem to want to tell me something…”
“I am not sure I should say that out loud.”
“Please. It seems heavy. Maybe I could help you wear it.”
“Maybe. Just… Be careful with your father, ok? He’s very unstable and he can go from perfectly good and kind to psychotic in the blink of an eye. If he goes down, you can comfort him but if he starts turning sorrow into anger, just run away. Don’t take any risk, please. And do not wear these bloody Alliances, you’ve got a phone, that’s enough.”
“Don’t worry about the Alliance. He gave me one, but… I couldn’t wear it, I found it was too much with my old ring. Which was gifted to me by a very dear friend, I don’t want to take it off.”
“I understand. Keep your ring. And if he asks, tell him it didn’t fit.”
“Noted. I hope things will go better between you two, cause it would be sad that you’d have to stay away forever.”
“It’ll be ok, Little Prince. Both of you will get through it. And I will be ok. I promise.”
“Please… Keep that word. Don’t die away…”, he mumbled against her shoulder, letting tears escape his eyes.
Nathalie stayed five good minutes with the teenager in her arms, comforting him, encouraging him, whispering advice to survive Monarch, without ever letting the betrayal fall from her mouth. The kid was not ready for that, and she had to leave.
When she stood up, she blinked, chasing the ideas of tears that had arrived to her eyes, said goodbye one last time and ran to her room, where she took a suitcase she filled with a few outfits, her pajamas, old pictures, a few books that were invading the room, the tablet she used for work. She grabbed her phone, slid it in her pocket with her wallet, closed the case, and went down, exiting the manor discreetly.
She walked. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she’ll find a hotel, she’ll find a refuge for the next weeks. Maybe the next months. She knew she could afford everything. Despite she had insisted that she was working in the company out of friendship for Gabriel and Emilie, twenty years prior, they had both insisted to pay her an insane salary every month, from the moment the Agreste company started being successful.
I guess I need to thank Audrey for this success, now…
************
Five weeks later.
Nathalie was looking through the gigantic window in the living-room of her suite in one of the luxurious hotels of the city.
Five weeks.
Exactly thirty-five days since she had left.
Every Friday, she called Adrien to keep contact, to reassure him, to comfort him. To have news about Gabriel.
Every single day, she read back every single professional text or mail Gabriel and she had exchanged the last five years. She hadn’t deleted anything, first because she was thinking about other things, then because she was in love. Every word from him looked like a blessing. And then, when Monarch had taken over, these messages were memories and hope.
She was fine. She was perfectly fine.
She had to repeat that almost every hour to avoid the breakdown, the craziness.
She had to reassure herself it was the only thing to do, that for her, the akumatisation was a sign it was time to go.
But she saw, every day.
The three first weeks where madness had taken over, where there were more than two akumatisations each day, and almost always hunters.
The fourth week, where he seemed to hesitate, one day there would be three akumatisations, then nothing the day after, a lot of attacks, pure silence for two days, the hell day.
And this week.
Absolutely nothing.
No akumatisation since the previous Sunday.
Adrien almost not able to speak on the phone on their weekly call. How she knew he was holding back the tears, how he was hiding the sobs pretending that he caught a cold. How he avoided talking about Gabriel.
And her broken heart. The hell, everyday, between fear, culpability, sadness, and her rational mind screaming she should stay away. Her desire to see him, to talk to him, to hold him, to help him, to keep him near.
The tears, flooding without reason, the music that was always talking about him.
“Gabriel, she whispered, if only you could know how much I love you. I love you still. And this distance… I did it, I created it, I’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me? Please… Just call, I promise I’ll answer, please come back, come back, like you could if you just said you’re sorry, I know that we could work it out somehow. Please.”
She knew this was useless, wishful thinking, but she couldn’t help it.
Her reasoning was simple.
If he didn’t call, he didn’t need her.
If he didn’t need her, she was not welcome.
And if she was not welcome and came back, it would lead to endless fights.
She had to stay away, even if the pain would kill her.
Rrring, rrrring
By reflex, Nathalie answered the phone that was finally ringing. Without looking who was calling.
“Nathalie? I… I know you wanted to leave, I know I should not call, you said you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Which was, is legitimate. I… I should’ve never done that, I’m sorry. I just… I needed to say it. I swear I am not trying to manipulate you. I… I think you were right. I miss you, to turn madder than ever before. But, out of respect, I will just honour your memory, like I always should’ve done. You’re right. I’m dangerous and you’re better away… I… I just hope that you’ll be able to forgive me, one day. And I wanted to say… If you ever want to come back, you’ll be welcome.
“Gabriel. How… You know… I’ve been waiting for your call for so long… I… Now, you regret, I know you’re back, I feel you, I miss you, I… Oh, Gabriel… Are you ok? You… You seem broken…”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m paying the price. Just take care of yourself. Be happy, smile, try to heal. Find happiness. I did you wrong, I know it. I broke you, physically and emotionally, and… All I could wish is for you to be happy, to thrive like you should. You’re a light illuminating the night, don’t hide it.”
“You know… I tried to find happiness away, I tried to be happy by myself, but I can’t. These past weeks, I really tried to forget you but that’s just impossible to do. The truth is that… I’m only me when I’m with you, and these weeks were a torture. You know how rational I am. I don’t trust my heart, I never listen to my feelings, everything is screaming to come back to you, but my mind… I’m so sorry, my mind can’t believe it.”
“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you agreed to talk to me already. It’s my fault. The last thing I did, it’s normal, I know how it must be in your head. I just… I’m sorry for that day, I’m sorry for the way he wanted to make you leave considering he’d be free to act, but… It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you, so… Well. I realised I need you, that everyday is regret, that you have your own magic, and that I was enchanted by you but I couldn’t see it. I’ll do my best to protect you from my darkness.”
“Gabriel… We’re gonna defeat that darkness. Together. You said I was a light. I’ll dissolve the night you are in. I come back, I promise. I can… I will help you. And together, we’ll find a way. We will be ok, I promise.”
“You… Nathalie. I’d be so happy. But I’m a danger to you. I…”
“I don’t care. Danger is my thing, I like it. I’d do anything to be with you. Plus… Monarch was a danger. You, Gabriel, you are not. And if this is dangerous to death, I don’t care either. I’d die for you. And I’d rather die near you than miles away.”
“You are wonderful. I’ll be waiting for you…”, he whispered in a tone that revealed his smile.
“I’ll be there tomorrow. Don’t worry.”
After a minute of silence where all the words they could not have said were floating, they said “Goodbye” in the same breath and off the phone at the same time.
************
The day after, beginning of the evening.
Nathalie took a deep breath before walking in the hall of the manor. All day, she had been keeping herself from screaming of happiness, from running straight home. Deep inside, she knew that she could hope for better, peaceful days, but her rational mind kept repeating that he was still Monarch, that she should stay careful, and all the day, she had fought that thought, trying to just focus on the positive. She would be back by the night. He had missed her. She could communicate with him.
From that simple call, all the sadness she was crawling into these past weeks had turned into joy, into an endless hope.
“Nathalie?”
“Hello Gabriel. I told you I’d be back, why are you surprised?”
“I think I have difficulties trusting what I see… I dreamt of you coming back a few times these past weeks. It’s hard to believe that you’re finally here for real…”
“You… I didn’t think you could miss me like that, she whispered with the most honest smile that had ever illuminated her face.
“Of course I missed you, Nathalie… You… You are truly exceptional. The… The way you are, the way you live and how you help others to live, your endless kindness, your capacity to know the world and to achieve… There’s nothing you can’t achieve, once you put your mind at it…”
“If that was true, you would have them.”, she whispered, feeling her cheeks turning red.
“Don’t blush, it is the pure truth. And these teenagers didn’t steal their power, they really deserve them. Our struggles were right.”
“No, that’s not true, you’re flattering me saying I achieve everything I try. And… What do you mean, “right”…? Gabriel! You… You’re not wearing them, she exclaimed, noticing his bare hands, his costume from before, you… Did you…?”
“Yes. I gave them up. You might have seen what I did previous Saturday, they nicknamed this fight “hell day”. And it was, somehow. I… I had sworn that if I lost this fight, I would give up. And I did. On Monday, exactly one week ago, I went out. I found Ladybug who was patrolling. And… I gave her the Alliances, I explained to her the network, how I did. I told her who… I gave our identities out. I’m sorry, maybe I should not have mentioned you… She… She just thanked me… Her reaction was very strange…”
“Why? And… Why did you do that? Why did you give up?”, Nathalie asked, lost, perplexed.
“I gave up because letting the madness win didn’t lead me anywhere, I was just losing myself more and more. I was not winning anything. And… With this madness, I had lost you”, he whispered, taking her hands in his.
”I had lost you and I couldn’t live with the reason. Your absence pierced a hole in my heart. Living with this was hard, but I was ready for it. I just could not continue to be the one who hurt you this way, I gave this one last try, then I forced this darkness to go.
”And for her reaction… I was wearing the Butterfly Miraculous. She let it to me. She was confused, she was disappointed by who I was, I… I felt her questioning her whole life goal. And she was sorry, too, as if she had done wrong. We talked for a very long time, she was not angry at all, this was… Strange. I never thought she could react like me. She’s only sixteen, but she is way more mature than a lot of adults, because I don’t know a lot of people who would have reacted this calmly and forgiven this entirely.
“This girl had to grow up very fast to face you. And maybe even her past as a civilian was not entirely peaceful. It’s not a surprise she could react that wisely. Does Chat Noir know too?”
“Yes. I… I told him. And there, that was absolutely different. His anger will take time to fade. I betrayed him… Nooroo saved my life, stopping him from attacking me… His reaction is absolutely normal… I… Adrien is Chat Noir. I… I haven't seen him since then… He… It’s… I couldn’t expect anything else…”
“Gabriel, when did you tell him?”
“I told him Saturday, in the morning…”
“Oh gosh. We… We absolutely need to know where he is. I… Oh, Gabriel…”
Her eyes darkened with anger and worry, tears started to roll on her face. She knew these two needed her, she knew they could not be fine in any way without her, and she had abandoned them, she had let them fall apart, she should have come home way earlier, from the hell day she knew Gabriel was bad, she was whispering apologies, she was crying how sorry she was for letting them does, between the sobs she was repeating, again and again, that she should never have left, that she had failed them, failed every one in every way possible, the weeks away had weakened her armour, and she was just letting her regrets, her culpability, her constant worry and pain take over, she was finally letting the walls fall down.
Gabriel shook his head, taking her in a comforting hug, whispering she had failed no one, that it was ok, that everything would be fine, they would find a solution together, eventually with Ladybug because she would help them if it was for Chat Noir, Nathalie didn’t need to panic.
“I’m there. We are together, you know?
“I know, I know, but… I a-a-am s-s-o we-e-eak, I…”
“Ssshh, calm down, dear. You are not weak. It’s not because you are torn by everything you feel, that you are weak. You face your feelings, you accept them, and, for once, you let them go. And that is deeply and amazingly brave.”
“Gabriel… I… I am ridiculous, she whispered, trying to pull herself back together, I ran away and started to regret it immediately, I hated you so much, and leaving felt like tearing myself apart, and now I come back, I feel incredibly happy and grateful, but the whole world collapsed while I was gone, and… I can not keep myself from falling apart, that’s ridiculous…”
“Never say that.”, he murmured, “never say you’re ridiculous because you feel contradictory things. You are not. Feeling and expressing is not ridiculous, please. I was taught this, and look how I ended. Let your feelings flood, they are proof of your humanity. You can cry, you can scream, you can be outraged, you can laugh loud enough so the whole world hears you, you can even do more than once at a time, it’s ok…”
“Gabriel… Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, my dear.”, he smiled, taking a step back.
“What do we do now?”
“We find a way to be fine, maybe?”
“Yes. That’s an idea. What do you need for that?”
“I… I think I just need to be with you. And if I could really talk with Adrien, it would be perfect, but… That seems pretty impossible. And you, what do you need?”
“Thank you for asking… I need stability. And for that, I need you, and I need to know that your son is ok… And I have no idea how to do that…”
“You could use me.”, suggested Nooroo appearing suddenly, “You could go find him… He is really attached to you, and he was not angry at you. If you go, it could calm him down. And I suggest you to go because I think he would not answer the phone.
“It’s likely, in fact. I… I hope he went to a friend and he’s not outside…”
“Adrien is strong, Nathalie. Even if he didn’t reach out to anyone, I’m sure he is safe. Plus, he is Chat Noir. Nobody would attack him… Now that Hawkmoth is gone, he is safe.”
“You are breaking down and still trying to comfort me.”, she noticed with a smile, “I think I know why I need you so much. Could I borrow your Miraculous and try to find your son? Maybe he’ll accept to come back…”
“You might try.”, he smiled, “Take this.”
“Nooroo, dark wings, rise!”
“You are gorgeous.”, commented Gabriel, “Really.”
“Thank you. What do I look like?”
“Like you re-invented my original costume with your colours. It’s not purple anymore, it’s a mix of dark blue, black and dark red. It’s really beautiful. And, too, you have only a mask, which has the same cutout than Shadowmoth’s projection. It really suits you well.”, he whispered, his fingers getting lost on her cheek for a second, “Really…”
“I… I need to go.”, she answered, turning away, trying not to blush.
“Come back soon…”
“As soon as I can, I promise!”
She ran to the door, confused. She felt her heart beating to her ears, her cheeks burning. The contact of his skin, the softness of his voice, the honesty of his demand had awakened all of her love, all the captive feelings he provoked in her. And even though she came back because of these feelings, she was not ready to face them again, to truly accept her love.
In one jump, she arrived on the nearest rooftop, and she started to run, going to the middle school, thinking that Adrien would probably stay around. In the worst case, if she didn’t find him, she would go ask his friends, she knew most of their addresses.
She was looking around, trying to spot Chat Noir’s silhouette, hoping to catch a movement indicating where he was.
But nothing hit her eyes.
After twenty minutes of inefficient research, she decided to ask for help. And she went to the Place des Vosges, knowing that Marinette would probably have an idea… After all, she was the girl Adrien loved, she would probably have an idea where to find him.
Happily, the teenager was out, looking at the moon, apparently talking to herself.
“Marinette? I’m sorry to bother you, but… Do you have any idea where Chat Noir could be?”
“What do you want to do to him, Mayura?”, Marinette answered aggressively.
“Nothing. I just want to talk to him. I need to apologise.”
“Apologise for what?!”
“Calm down, please. I promise you I won’t hurt him. I care about him. I really need to see him, that’s all.”
“Why…?”
“I want to know if he’s ok. And if I can be of any help…”
“He came earlier in the evening, and yesterday too. He seemed troubled, fighting demons, but you must feel it…”
“A new Miraculous requires a certain amount of time to be able to use it at its real potential. I can’t find him like that.”
“If you say…”
“How is Adrien?”
“I don’t… Oh.”
“How that, you don’t know?”, asked Nathalie, trying to ignore the shock on Marinette’s face, “He wasn’t at school?”
“No, he didn’t come… He sent a message to Nino saying he was sick.”
“Are you ok?”
“Adrien is Chat Noir, right?”
“Yes. How did you guess?”
“I know your identity. You asked me about Chat Noir, then about Adrien… Implying they were linked. I…. I understand why Chat Noir was feeling this bad, why Adrien skipped school today… I… Yes, go talk to him. He must be on top of the Montparnasse Tower, he often goes there when he needs to think, to distance himself from the chaos of the world or from his emotions. And if he’s not there, try the Palais de Chaillot, it’s very meaningful for him.”
“Thank you, Ladybug.”
“You’re welcome. You talked with Mister Agreste, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I decided to come back home, and when I arrived… Gabriel told me about his reddition, and that he told Chat Noir on Saturday morning. Your partner gave his identity, and ran away… I decided to go find him, on Nooroo’s advice. But I didn't know where to search, now I know. Thank you…”
“You’re welcome. I wish you good luck, to find him, to help him understand, and to bring him back… Even if he’s angry, he needs you and his father.”
“Thank you again. I’ll go.”
A few minutes later, Nathalie was standing at the top of the Montparnasse tower, walking carefully on the glass that covered a part of the terrace. On the other side of this roof upon the roof, Chat Noir was looking away, singing something under his breath. Just like Marinette said.
When she arrived at five metres from him, she called him quietly.
“Chat Noir? Could I talk to you, please?”
“Who are you?”, he exclaimed with anger, “What do you do here?”
“Please, Adrien, calm down. I will not hurt you. I just want to talk.”
“Who are you? I don’t trust people wearing the Butterfly Miraculous.”
“Not sure you will trust me, even knowing who I am. I betrayed you, Adrien, I’m sorry. Nooroo, dark wings, fall.”
“Nathalie?! How… How do you have the Miraculous?! How did you get there, why? Why are you here?! And how the hell do you know who I am?!?!”
“I decided to come back. Yesterday, your father called me… He apologised, and he was clearly emotionally destroyed. I could not stay away from him, not when I was waiting every day for this call. I came back tonight. And he explained to me how he lived these weeks. How he renounced, gave back the Alliances to Ladybug, revealed our identity to her… and to you. He said you ran away in anger, he seemed so lost. And I knew both of you needed my help.”
“I don’t need help. I need lonesomeness. I need distance. I need to forget him.”
“You can not, Adrien. And you know you can’t.”
“Thinking of him hurts.”
“It’s normal.”
“I need to be alone.”
“For Emilie, I can’t leave you alone here with the mess your emotions are in. I promised to protect you. I failed enough.”
“Please.”
“Don’t even dare to think of it.”
“Why?”
“Because we can’t continue to kill each other like that.”
“What do you want?”
“Peace. Even if it’s impossible to get.”
“Why did you come here?”
“Because I care about you. Do you remember what you told me the day I left?”
“About what?”
“The way you considered me.”, she whispered, going nearer to the edge of the roof, “it may have changed since, but my answer to this will never change.”
“Don’t even go that near the edge!”, he protested, his stick creating a thin barrier between her feet and the void.
“I could still jump, but your reaction is interesting.”
“You would not dare.”
“I left because Monarch tried to akumatize me without my consent. To make him renounce, I threatened to leave. He said exactly what you just answered.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“One, never underestimate what I would dare. I sold my soul out of love. Twice. Second, you are more like Gabriel than you would like to admit.”
“Please… Don’t. I could never lose a mother again… You said you betrayed me, that’s not true. You did what seemed right at the time, you listened to your heart. I betrayed, I wanted to kill you.”
“I played with your feelings. Shamelessly. It’s a betrayal.”
“I need you… I need to be with you, in fact. Thank you for coming. Since Saturday I was simply burning in anger. And just by talking with you, I am calmed down. It’s not anger anymore, not only at least. There’s sadness, too, and something like a hole… I’m empty, I’m lost, but I couldn’t see it, I refused to accept it, I was just burning to not face it.”
“Adrien, Chat Noir… I will not leave. I promise, I am here.”, she whispered, sitting next to him, “You can let go of everything. Fighting made your life incredibly complex, Hawkmoth created a nightmare over this city, hurt your friends, put you under constant worry. To a point you hated him, even before he became completely mad. Discovering this criminal you hated is your father, someone you trust and love, is naturally hard. I can’t even imagine how much you suffer. But I know you can’t resolve this suffering by running away from it.”
“Why not?”
“It’s what Gabriel tried to do. Running away, hoping there was a way to resurrect Emilie. Look at the result. He made me leave, he broke your trust and he lost his mind.”
“Do you know firsthand ignoring your feelings is bad?”
“I broke my own heart running away. These weeks were hell, the most painful moments I ever lived. Yes, I know firsthand.”
“I wanna go home, but… I don’t know if I can…”
“You fear your father wouldn’t accept you?”
“I fear we wouldn’t know how to communicate. I fear we would be unable to have a relationship. I fear the suffering.”
“Don’t fear it. Welcome it. It’s one of the sources of strength. It may take time, it may be hard, but there will always be a relationship between the two of you. And it will be ok now that it’s honest.”
“If you say so… Did he tell you how the revelation happened?”
“No?”
“He found me patrolling, alone. I attacked him. He said he just wanted to tell me he had renounced and gave the Miraculous back to Ladybug. I could not believe him. So he suggested that I ask her. I sent a message. She said it was true, that he even revealed his identity. And that she had chosen to let him the Miraculous. I was curious, and asked his identity. He de-transformed. I almost lost it, nearly cataclysmed him again. Nooroo kept me from doing that… But I was so angry, I needed to let that go, so I de-transformed too, and told him, “Now suffer like you made me suffer!” and I ran away. I didn’t come back.”
“First reactions are always out of control. Now, what do you think?”
“I think you are right. I need to try again with him, to give him a chance. I come back home. With you, if you agree?”
“Of course.”
Nathalie transformed back and they returned to the manor quickly, leaving their masks in the hall.
The teenager was exhausted and went straight to his room, after wishing a good night to his father who had welcomed them in the hall and Nathalie.
Once alone, the adults started staring at each other like it was the first time in their lives they actually saw someone
They could not know, but their hearts were pounding the same way, on the same rhythm.
He led her upstairs, whispering he needed to show her something.
When he pushed the door to his secret sewing room, she felt like being invited into a well-kept sanctuary. A place she would never have dreamt of going in. Along the walls, there were loads of glass cabinets showing incredible stocks of every textile imaginable and multiple jewels, hundreds of gemstones, metal plates that could be turned into medals, bracelets, necklaces or other ornaments.
At the back of the room, there was a simple opaque wardrobe he went straight to.
“Why am I here?”, she exclaimed in a whisper, “Why did you bring me…?”
“Basically because I wanted to show you. Because… You know how much this room is important to me, you know it’s my refuge, my treasure. And you deserve to see everything.”
“Why?”
“Because I need you. Because I know everything I am belongs to you, because you… Nathalie, you are the most exceptional person on this planet, you have a light I can not live without you, and I can’t even explain how and why… Feelings are not explainable. All I know is that… Since you’ve been gone, I’ve been feeling broke, without you it’s like I’m half what I should be, I need you but I constantly fear to hurt you, and I want to protect you, I want to help you, I wanna make you happy, I wanna see you smile, I love you and I can’t say it any other way, there is not enough words to express how I feel torn without you, I love you, I… I just hope to see you smile cause your happiness makes me happy… I…”
“Gabriel?! How… Really?”
“Yes, really…”
“I…”
She pulled him in a hug, happiness tears rolling on her face, disorganised whispers repeating how happy she was, how she could barely believe it, how her heart was exploding with joy…
“Gabriel, Gabriel I love you, I love you so much, from so long, how can I… I hoped, I waited, I tried to forget, I tried to erase these feelings but they are stronger than me, I love you, I love you… I can not believe it…”
“Believe, please… Too, I need to show you something… Something that I did for you, hoping I could give it to you someday…”
“Gabriel?! You created me something?!”
“Yes… Yes, I did. Come here”, he smiled while opening the wardrobe.
She immediately knew what dress was the one he created, and when he gave it to her, she felt she was blushing again. She took her time to examine it, forcing herself not to explode in admirative and grateful exclamations.
The design was not really complex, but she knew it probably took hours to realise, and the colours were harmonising perfectly.
The top of the dress was pretty simple, just a shirt sleeveless, covered with three level of flying almost transparent textiles in three different tones of red, the first one, meant to cover the shoulders, was almost pink, the third one almost burning.
The part of the bust that was not covered by the flying layers was a brilliant red, slightly darker than the third layer.
The skirt was composed with six petticoats continuing the gradient of reds till one almost black. Seen from behind, only the higher, clearer one was visible, overlaying the others, covering the legs to the ground. But facing the thing, each one was clearly defined, the first one going up to the waist, the second a little less high, and so on till the last, forming a gradual opening which freed the ankles and revealed a part of the legs.
“This… Gabriel, how… I can not accept this. It’s too gorgeous for me!”
“It’s only for you. Please, accept it. As a proof of my love?”
“If it’s for your love, I’d do anything! Would you accept that I try it?”
“Of course, I’m impatient to see how it goes…”
A ghost smile floated on his lips. He already knew it was going to be perfect. And when she came back, after putting on the dress, he felt his heart exploding in admiration.
She was wonderfully beautiful.
Literally gorgeous.
And when she left the idea of a kiss on his cheek, as a thank, he knew he had made it.
He had found his redemption, with her, a new way to be happy.
“I love you”, he whispered pulling her into a hug, kissing her on the forehead.
“I love you too, Gabriel.”, she answered with a smile.
Standing on the top of her feet, she took his face in her hands and united their lips, letting their feelings explode all around, showing their happiness, their strength, their hopes, their love.
After all the separations they dared to provoke, they were finally reunited.