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"Please let me know if you are uncomfortable, Your Grace. I am okay to sleep on the floor-"
"You said that already, Jote. And I said it was fine. I would not have you sleep on the floor in my stead, and I know you would adamantly refuse to leave me on the floor for the evening.”
Jote looked downard; from here, Joshua almost thought he saw a trace of pouting on her features. Was she…blushing? He felt his own face grow hot.
With the calamity that was the current state of the Twin Realms, it was growing less and less common to find two inn beds free for the length of time the traveling pair would need them. As such, Jote immediately volunteered to take a bed roll on the floor- an act which, while kind, was something Joshua felt strongly opposed to, common as it was for drafty inn floors to be visited by all manner of critters and dust.
And so it was that the two shared a bed this evening. It should have been no big deal, seeing as the two had camped in the wilderness together, but even then their bedrolls were a comfortable distance apart.
Now, however, Joshua and Jote were mere inches from each other, their heads both resting on the singular pillow shared between them. Even extra pillows were an outlandish request, it seems, with how the innkeep scoffed at Jote’s asking for one.
The silence between them grew thicker with each second; it was choking Joshua, prone as he was to talking on their journey.
“If it eases your worries, Jote, I feel much safer with you this close. Or rather- more comfortable, I suppose?”
Jote’s unwavering gaze focused on Joshua made his voice crack, and he felt his throat growing dryer with each word. Clearing his throat (to no avail), he continued.
“It’s just that- well- you never fall asleep until you think I have. I should hope that you can rest easier now.”
“...I see.” Jote’s response was quiet. Should I face the other way? Although this would’ve been perhaps the best option given their sleeping arrangements, the retainer found herself unable to do so.
Jote was quite familiar with nearly every inch of Joshua by now, as she’d treated his wounds an innumerable amount of times. His body was no stranger to her, but what of his face?
It was rare for Joshua to let her this close, rarer still for him to remain as such without turning away. She took note of his eyes, clear and blue, framed by thick eyelashes that feathered at the ends; his skin, subtly dusted with freckles, a newfound flush in his cheeks; his hair, the flaxen locks framing his slender face.
There was some way for Jote to rationalize this moment of weakness, she was sure of it. By memorizing his features she’d better be able to protect him- somehow- so she continued to watch Joshua while she had the chance.
On his end, Joshua could feel himself melting under Jote’s focused stare. “Is…is something wrong?” His heartbeat drummed loudly in his ears, and he wondered if she felt as nervous as he.
Jote blinked. This is bad, she thought. She’d been looking at him far beyond what was normal- or was it normal to look at all?
The woman couldn’t think of a time she’d felt what was churning in her chest in this moment, dedicated as she was to her duty. Embarrassment bloomed within her, leading her to break eye contact with the Rosfield.
“No- my apologies, Your Grace. We should get some rest.”
Quickly, almost too quickly, she rolled to face away from Joshua, finally releasing her breath. When had she stopped breathing?
Joshua stared at the back of Jote’s head for a moment, baffled. “Yes, we should. Good night, Jote.” He furrowed his brow, thinking deeply of what could’ve bothered Jote so much. It was rare to see her so flustered, so rare that he almost believed he’d made it up in his head.
Joshua turned his back to Jote as well and shut his eyes, finding that the sight of his traveling companion remained.
–
“..........ace…
……Grace…
...Your Grace!”
“Huh?” Joshua blinked into consciousness to see Jote’s usual worrisome expression hanging over him, her hands clasped between the two of them. She’d been trying to get Joshua’s attention for some time to very little success.
What had perhaps looked like a fainting episode or some other medical emergency was, in truth, simply a man deeply lost in thought.
“Wh- ah, my apologies.” He jerked his arm up to cover his mouth as he cleared his throat, a series of movements so unnatural one would think the Rosfield was being puppeteered.
His eyes met Jote’s for but a moment before he cast them downward to hide behind long, thick eyelashes. There was no need for him to look into her eyes for that long, anyways, as he’d now memorized every detail of her delicate features; even while looking away from her, Jote’s soft, melancholy visage lingered in his mind.
Countless times she’d carefully watched over him with those eyes, large as the moon, the brown of her irises as rich as chocolate.
These days it seemed like it was the only thing he could see, which made traveling with her considerably more difficult as time passed. Worse still that she had noticed his strange behavior and was doting on the man more than usual.
“Your Grace, your face is flushed. Are you feeling well?”
In an instant Jote removed a glove to place her hand to his forehead. It always amazed him how quick Jote was, how self-resolute. She never hesitated when it came to protecting him. My knight in shining armor, he thought, fighting the urge to laugh at the notion. Her hand was cool to the touch.
“I’m fine, Jote,” he lied, his eyes still focusing intently on the tips of his boots.
Why was it that this simple contact was making him so nervous? She’d done this thousands of times, but it felt like the first time Joshua had ever paid such attention to it. The sensation made him uncomfortable to the point that he had to step back from her.
“Your Grace.” Her voice was plain and her gaze centered squarely onto Joshua. “Forgive me for speaking so brazenly, but I know when you are lying. It’s my duty to-”
“Assure my health and wellness, I know.” He sighed, his shoulders dropping in defeat. “But this is not something so easily remedied, even for you.”
Jote blinked. Her face betrayed nothing of her thoughts, stoic as it was, but her eyes scanned his features for anything out of the ordinary.
“...I see. If there is aught I can do, please let me know.” She opened her mouth to speak further, but before the words could escape she firmly shut it.
Jote was no stranger to Joshua’s quirks, and although she knew that her duty was to come before her personal feelings she could feel her worry growing past what was normal. Joshua wasn’t always honest especially when it came to himself; were it up to him, she thought, he would rather have never met Jote in the first place. That way he wouldn’t have made someone else worry about his wellbeing- he was selfless like that.
Selfless, or reckless? Jote pondered over this as she slipped her glove back on. When next she met his gaze, Joshua’s face softened and he offered her a warm smile in apology. She couldn’t help but notice how the smile hadn’t reached his eyes, which remained fixed on some distant object only he could see. There was no point in pressing the issue- Joshua was as stubborn as Jote was- so for now she disengaged and gave him a nod in response.