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You hadn’t lived across the street from A.Z. Fell and Co. Bookshop long before you were drawn to visit. During your first few visits, you were greeted rather coldly by the bookshop’s caretaker and owner, Aziraphale. Though, once he realized that you were just there to browse and didn’t intend to purchase any of his precious books, he was the kindest and most gracious host.
Somehow, he always seemed to know when you were coming for a visit. Nearly every time you showed up, he was waiting and ready with a perfectly warm cup of cocoa and your favorite armchair had a blanket thrown over its arm.
Some days he would have a new book or two ready for your perusal. Others the book you were thumbing through on your last visit was already on the coffee table opened to the page you had left off on.
When he wasn’t busy chasing serious customers away, Aziraphale would join you in the chair adjacent to yours. The conversations you shared with him were always delightful and enlightening.
It really didn’t take you long to piece together that he wasn’t entirely human.
Aziraphale’s outdated slang and wardrobe weren’t even the biggest hints. His inconsistent tense usage while recounting historical events was what initially caught your attention. The slang and wardrobe were just the final pieces that tied it all together for you.
But you never brought it up.
You suspected that he would tell you in his own time. However, you had been itching to know how he first came to be friends with the surly redhead that would occasionally strut into the shop.
Despite many attempts to make conversation with the man, you rarely got anything more than a one-word response from him. That is until you discovered his love for all things space-related.
Crowley, whose name you had finally managed to pull out of him, could never resist rambling on about the stars. He could go on and on for hours. The triple star system Alpha Centauri was a favorite of his.
Through those conversations, you’d deduced that Anthony J. Crowley wasn’t entirely human either, but you didn’t care.
After about a year, you realized that you had fallen in love with Aziraphale.
It was a startling revelation for you to make, and for some reason it didn’t scare you that he wasn’t entirely human, which he still hadn’t admitted to.
At first, you weren’t sure how to proceed but you decided to put on your big girl pants and ask Aziraphale out on a date. Much to your surprise, and after much stammering and stuttering on his behalf, he accepted.
Turns out that he had become as enamored with the book loving young woman who frequented his shop as you had become with him.
Your first date was a picnic in the park, and it was followed by several more lovely dates.
The first shock in your relationship came when Aziraphale and Crowley approached you to confess that the two of them had been an item for quite some time.
At first, you were dumbstruck, but after a bit of reflection, it was hard for you to see how you’d missed it. The way they had interacted had always screamed that they were in love but apparently, you were too busy to notice.
“My dear, I have really enjoyed the last few weeks with you,” Aziraphale had said gently, “but before we go any further we all need to be sure that this… relationship I have with Crowley is something that we are all comfortable with.”
“I-I understand,” you had said, “Can I just take the night to think about it?”
Crowley and Aziraphale shared a long look before Aziraphale offered a smile, “Of course, you can.”
“But there’s one more thing we need to get out of the way,” Crowley said, “He and I, we’re not human.”
“Crowley,” Aziraphale admonished, “I thought we were going to wait until-,”
“No, it’s fine, Zira,” you laughed, “I’ve known that for a while.”
“You what?!” Both exclaimed at the same time.
“I’m not an idiot,” you shook your head, “Neither one of you exactly do a good job hiding it. I’ve just never been able to figure out exactly what you are.”
“Well, then,” Aziraphale blinked, “I’m an angel and he’s-,”
“A demon,” Crowley cut in as he peeled off his sunglasses to reveal his snake-like eyes, “Are you alright with that? Being in a relationship with a monster?”
“You’re many things Anthony J. Crowley,” you said gently, “but a monster isn’t one of them. I don’t really care what either of you are. I’ve spent enough time with both of you to know that you’re good at heart. I just need time to figure out if I’m comfortable being in a poly relationship.”
“Take all the time you need,” Aziraphale urged while Crowley tried to pick his jaw up off the floor after your admission that you didn’t care about him being a demon.
He’d been so sure you would run for the hills once you’d seen his eyes, but you didn’t so much as flinch when he’d pulled of his sunglasses.
True to your word, you spent that night contemplating whether or not you could be a part of a polyamorous relationship. It didn’t take you long to conclude it was something you were okay with. At the same time it struck you that you’d developed feelings for Crowley. You were just slower to see them than you were with the ones you had for Aziraphale.
After making your decision and a brief adjustment period, your trio fell into a comfortable rhythm. People always seemed intrigued by the modern young woman walking hand in hand with the washed-up rockstar and the old-fashioned gentleman. At first the staring bothered you but your partners were quick to squash that insecurity.
For a while, everything seemed perfect but then they had to leave for “an extended business trip” as they had described it.
It frustrated you to no end that you were to be left behind in London while they were away. Sure, they promised to visit as often as they could and keep in touch via text and phone calls as much as they could, but it wasn’t the same.
You wanted to go with them. You fought to go with them.
“Come on, Crowley,” you begged as you watched him put the finishing touches on the nanny make-up he had insisted upon doing by hand even though he could have just snapped his fingers, “Let me come with you! I could pretend to be their chef or something. Anything so I can be with you and Zira.”
“Aziraphale already told you why we can’t take you with us, love,” Crowley said sadly, “It’s not safe. If either of our sides found out about you…”
“I know,” you groaned, “It wouldn’t be good, but I just don’t understand why I have to stay here. I could move closer to wherever you’re going so we could still be together.”
“The answer is no,” Crowley said firmly as he snapped his compact mirror shut, “We need you to stay here in London and keep an eye on things. You’ll be safer here. We will stay in touch and visit as often as we can. It will be like we never left.”
“It won’t be the same,” you pouted.
“It will be over before you know it,” Crowley promised before he pressed a kiss to your lips and slipped out the door.
It wasn’t over before you knew it. It was years that they spent away from you and it bothered you to no end that they wouldn’t tell you why.
While they were away, there were many times you considered ending the relationship. It was unbelievably frustrating that they shared this secret together and refused to let you in on it and left you behind to care for the bookshop and Crowley’s plants.
You never did end it, you kept telling yourself that when they finally came home for good everything would get better.
But when they finally came home, the secrets didn’t end. They kept sneaking around for days after their return.
Several times you caught them whispering about “finding the right boy” and “we have to stop this for her.”
Finally you had enough and cornered Aziraphale alone in the bookshop.
“Please, Zira, why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?” you begged, “I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“You’re not going crazy, my dear,” he tried to reassure you, “and there is nothing going on. Everything is just fine.”
“No, it’s not!” you yelled, “You and Crowley have been sneaking around behind my back ever since you got home and I’m sick of it! The three of us are supposed to be in this together.”
“We are in this together, darling,” Aziraphale sighed.
“It sure as hell doesn’t feel like it,” you snapped, “The two of you have been together for over 6000 years, Aziraphale! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel sometimes? I feel like the third wheel.”
“You are not the third wheel,” Aziraphale said firmly as he took your hands in his, “We both love you just as much as we love each other. You have to know that by now.”
“Then why did you leave me alone for all those years while you two were off galivanting together,” you demanded, tears now streaking down your face, “and why do I still feel so alone now that you’re back?”
“We told you that it was for your own-,”
“I swear to someone that if you say it was for my own good,” you cut him off as you yanked your hands out of his grasp, “I will walk out that door right now and never come back.”
“You don’t mean that,” Aziraphale looked stricken, “Please if you just give us a couple of more days to sort things out, I promise that things will go back to the way they were before.”
“I don’t believe you,” you choked out.
Aziraphale tried to reach out to you again but his heart sank when you shrank away from his touch.
“I can’t take this anymore,” you wrapped your arms around yourself, “I’m done.”
“Wait! Please don’t go, my dear,” Aziraphale begged as you fled towards the door.
He started to follow after you but he decided that it was better if he didn’t. You were so worked up that he knew it wouldn’t do him any good to chase after you now. It would just lead to more yelling and that never ends well. He resolved to find you after things calmed down and he and Crowley had a chance to sort out Armageddon.
After storming out of Aziraphale’s bookshop you tore down the street, trying to get as far away as you could. You wandered around for several hours and eventually calmed down enough to realize that you hadn’t been entirely fair to Aziraphale. So, you decided to go back and apologize.
A gasp fell from your lips when you turned the corner onto the bookshop’s street and were greeted by the horrific sight of it engulfed in flames.
You felt as if you were going to be sick but your feet carried you towards the bookshop faster than they ever had before. You quickly realized that your angel was nowhere to be seen outside and it felt like ice had been dumped into your veins.
You knew that as an angel, Aziraphale was more immune to physical harm than the average human, but that didn’t stop the fear from building inside you. What if this much fire was too much for him to handle? What if something else had happened and the fire was just a coverup?
Without thinking you ran into the burning building.
“Aziraphale, where are you?!” you screamed over the roar of the flames as you burst through the doors, “Aziraphale!”
You tried to push further into the inferno. You only made it a few rows into the maze of shelves before a coughing fit brought you to your knees.
Your vision started to blur as you choked and gagged on the acrid smoke burning your lungs. Meanwhile the heat of the growing flames seared your skin.
Panic gripped your chest as it set in that you might die here.
Panic that you were going to die before you had the chance to tell Aziraphale that you were sorry.
You were going to die before you had the chance to tell him how much you love him and Crowley just one more time.
But then you heard the most blessed sound. A single voice rang out over the roar of the blaze.
“Aziraphale! Where the heaven are you?!” you heard Crowley bellow, “I can’t find you!”
“C-Crowley,” you tried to call out but your voice was weak.
You kept trying but Crowley couldn’t hear you over the sound of his own voice yelling through the roar of the fire. You heard a rushing sound, almost like water maybe, interrupt Crowley’s yelling but a moment later he resumed.
“Somebody’s killed my best friend!” you heard him scream and your heart broke. If Crowley thinks Aziraphale’s dead then he must be. Mustn’t he? “Bastards! All of you!”
Hearing the pain and anguish shake your demon’s voice renewed your will. You couldn’t let Crowley lose both of the people he loved most on the same day in the same bookshop.
Gathering up every ounce of energy you had left, you raised your voice and choked out Crowley’s name one last time. The last thing you did before collapsing to the floor gasping for air.
Crowley’s head snapped towards the sound of your voice. His panic skyrocketed as he muttered, “No… no, no, no, no…”
Crowley hauled himself up off the ground and staggered into the rows of shelves in search of you. Praying to whoever was listening that he was wrong. That he hadn’t just heard your voice calling out to him from somewhere in this bookshop.
Aziraphale had called to tell him about the fight the two of you had had and Aziraphale’s words rang in Crowley’s head.
“She was so upset, Crowley,” Aziraphale told him, “I’ve never seen her that upset. I-I’m scared that we’re losing her. She ran out of here so quickly. I couldn’t stop her.”
He hoped and prayed that you hadn’t come back. That you hadn’t come back and become trapped in this inferno.
Crowley’s prayers went unanswered when he spotted you several feet ahead of him sprawled on the floor hacking and gasping for air.
“Hang on, love!” Crowley called out as he continued towards you, “I’m coming.”
You never saw it coming but Crowley did. He heard the groaning of the ceiling above you. He tried to stop it but it all happened so fast. Too fast. He didn’t get a chance to react before it gave way and debris rained down on you.
There was a flash of light as the flames burned brighter and smoke that pushed Crowley back several steps.
When the flare dimmed down and he was able to see again, the sight was devastating. Your head and chest were just barely peeking out from under the pile of debris.
He screamed your name as he closed the distance. Crowley knew he was running out of time. The flames licking toward your body told him as much.
When he finally reached you, he fell to his knees af your side, “Please… Please… don’t be dead. I can’t lose you, too.”
He felt desperately for a pulse.
“Thank someone,” he sighed with relief when he felt your pulse thrumming under his fingers, “Let’s get you out of here, my star.”
Crowley snapped his fingers and the debris vanished.
He carefully rolled you to your back and gently gathered you up.
Once you were secure in his arms, he rushed out of the burning bookshop and made a beeline for the Bentley.
He ignored the firemen yelling at him to stop.
“Sir!” one of them yelled, “You need to let us take her to the hospital.”
He knew that they wanted to help you, but no-one was more qualified to help you than him. He was going to save you. He had to because if he didn’t he would be all alone.
Aziraphale was who knows where and you were dying.
Crowley tore through the streets of London as fast as he could without jostling you too much. He frequently cast worried glances in the rearview mirror at your limp body slumped across the backseat. He arrived at the flat the three of you shared in record time and wasted none of it getting you inside.
He gingerly lowered you onto the bed. The demon took a steadying breath before he reached out to place his hand on your forehead, pausing briefly to brush a few strands of your singed hair away from your face.
It broke him to see you like this.
Ash was smeared across your body and your skin was mottled with burns and cuts from the fire and collapsed ceiling.
He closed his eyes and started to get a sense of how much damage had been done to you in the bookshop. With every injury he counted his rage built. Each broken bone and burn was another injury he swore he would repay to the ones responsible for this.
He cringed as his mind brushed yours and the emotional pain you’d experienced washed over him. That sensation was worse than all of the physical pain he’d cataloged while mapping your injuries.
Aziraphale had not been exaggerating how distraught you had been.
“I am so sorry,” Crowley whispered as he opened his eyes, “I’m going to fix this, sweetheart. When you wake up everything is going to be alright. I promise.”
Crowley placed his hand on your forehead once again and began healing all of your injuries.
Once you were whole again, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, “Sleep well, my love.”
There was one thing Crowley couldn’t miracle away and that was exhaustion, and after the day you’d had you were exhausted beyond belief. He knew that you were going to be asleep for quite some time. He just hoped that he would be able to figure out how to stop Armageddon and that there would still be a world for you to wake up to.
When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to find you’d somehow ended up in your own bed and weren’t sure how long you had been there.
You shifted a bit in the bed triggering a flood of memories that came crashing in.
You shot up in the bed and gasped as you remembered the burning bookshop and the searing pain you’d felt when something collapsed onto you.
Your sudden movement and sound of terror, scared awake the bedmates you hadn’t realized were on either side of you.
“What’s wrong?!” Aziraphale exclaimed at the same time Crowley gasped your name.
“The b-bookshop and you were d-dead and I-I couldn’t breathe, and I-I-” you broke down sobbing and collapsed into Aziraphale’s arms as dozens of emotions overwhelmed you.
“Oh, my dear, everything is alright,” Aziraphale cooed gently as he stroked your hair, “You’re safe now. Everything is going to be alright now. We promise.”
“H-how did I get here?” you hiccupped into Aziraphale’s chest.
“That was me,” Crowley interjected as he scooted closer to you on your other side and began rubbing calming circles into your back.
He explained everything that took place while you were out and when he finished a heavy silence fell which he broke after a few moments, “I know it’s a lot to take in after you just woke up from something like that but we can answer any questions you might have.”
“Yes, Crowley’s right, my dear,” Aziraphale hummed, “Now that we’ve stopped Armageddon, there are not going to be any more secrets between the three of us. Ask us anything you like about the last several years and we will answer your questions completely honestly.”
“Really?” you sniffled as you pulled away from Aziraphale’s chest.
“Really,” Crowley promised as he snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you close.
“No more secrets?” you asked.
“No more secrets,” both of them said in unison.
“I’m really really relieved to hear that,” you said as you leaned into Crowley’s chest.
“But?” Crowley sensed there was more that you wanted to say.
“I'm still really tired,” you muttered, “Can we get a couple more hours of sleep before we dig into all of this… stuff?”
“Of course,” Aziraphale pressed a kiss to your temple, “Anything you want, my dear.”
“Good,” you yawned and allowed yourself to be pulled back into the bed by Crowley, his arms still wrapped around you, “I missed both of you so much. I was so scared that I was losing you.”
“We know,” Aziraphale said as he snuggled in next to you, “We’re both very sorry we made you feel like you didn’t belong.”
“That was never our intention,” Crowley whispered into your hair, “You’re our girl. Our shining star all these years. We love you so much it hurts sometimes. We were just trying to protect you.”
“He’s right,” Aziraphale smiled as he watched your eyes droop shut, “We love you. So. So much.”
After the stress of the last week, it didn’t take you long to fall back asleep but thanks to being wrapped in both of your lovers’ arms, you fell into a deep and restful sleep.
There was work yet to be done when you woke up. It wasn’t going to be easy to rebuild what the three of you had. The demands of Heaven and Hell had pulled them away from you, but there was no doubt that you would all come through it and your relationship would be stronger than ever.