Work Text:
Akutagawa hated the rain. Every fat drop that fell, slowly soaking his clothes and hair, did nothing but remind him of his days in the slums. The days that turned to inky nights and typhoon weeks meant days, nights, weeks of possible hypothermia. The rain meant death, cold, fear; it was unavoidable in the slums. Rashomon would wrap herself tightly around Akutagawa and Gin, sealing in the small amount of warmth each of their bodies produced, shielding them from the worst of the storms. Drop by drop, Rashomon waterlogged, and Akutagawa would pray to whatever ruled this horrible planet, that they would make it out ok. Even when the rain stopped, there were remnants. Standing puddles in what used to be a bed, bread turned to inedible mush, sneezes from a cold settling in. Rain was nothing but a nuisance, a vanitas painting that hung heavy in the clouds. Akutagawa hated the rain.
Atsushi loved the rain. Every graceful drop that fell, slowly cascading down the window, reminded him that there was a world bigger outside the orphanage. There was something, somewhere, that couldn’t be controlled, beat into submission. There was freedom. When the dark clouds would saunter in, lazy and rich, Atsushi could feel his heart swelling at the sight. Rain meant outdoor chores were cancelled, days were spent daydreaming and nodding off under thinning blankets. Drop by drop, Atsushi would pray to whatever ruled this wonderous planet, that the rain would never stop. That it would flow freely, water the rice fields that brought the chazuke, wash away the pain for the day. When the rain stopped, it was back to the normal routine, the outside work, the beatings that inevitably resulted. Rain was safety, a beautiful Venus painting that welcomed him with open arms. Atsushi loved the rain.
Yokohama had a habit of developing large typhoons in the rainy months. Wind ripped through the buildings, rain was pushed in from the sea, salty and burning. Streets would flood, thunder would crack. Akutagawa winced as the lighting lit the sky around him, Rashomon coming out instinctually to create a shield from the incoming rain. He was walking towards the agency, willingly for once, to pick Atsushi up for their next mission. They were supposed to go on a simple recon mission, collect the information needed, and return to their respected employers. But nothing was ever easy, was it. It was three days past when they were supposed to set out originally, the typhoons causing everything to be delayed, and general scheduling nightmares.
Akutagawa clicked his tongue as he felt the first drops of rain breech Rashomon’s defenses, leaching into his shirt. The agency was only a few steps away, and he would vehemently deny it if anyone saw him jog towards the door. Atsushi was waiting for him in the lobby, smiling with his usual stupid happiness.
“Ready to go?” Atsushi asked, grabbing a small purple umbrella from the holder.
“Are you seriously going to use that stupid thing?” Akutagawa asked, scoffing at the umbrella in Atsushi’s hand. He’d rather die than let Atsushi know the swirling pattern of hydrangeas reminded him of his eyes, lilac and soft.
“Of course,” he said, “Kyouka picked it out especially for me.”
“Gross.” Akutagawa said, ignoring the way Atsushi just smiled at him.
As the duo began to walk towards the train station, the storm started to hunker down, clouds darkening, the wind throwing leaves into small tornados. Akutagawa felt the apprehension growing in his bones, every step starting to feel like led was poured into his shoes. Atsushi, on the other hand, seemed happier than ever, floating like the leaves. He could feel the smile creeping on the corners of his mouth. It was going to storm, and he couldn’t wait. For a moment, Atsushi glanced over to look at Akutagawa, his small grin fading at his expression.
“We better get going, the storm looks like it’s going to pick up soon,” Atsushi said, “I love the rain, but I don’t exactly like getting drenched.”
Akutagawa hummed at the statement, picking up his pace to match Atsushi’s. They were about a ten-minute walk from the station. He just needed to get to the train station. The train station would be covered, the train would be dry, he’d be safe for the next few hours, the rain couldn’t get to him on the train. Just enough time for the storm to pass. He prayed it wouldn’t be raining in Kawagoe, they still needed to actually collect the information once they got there. They still needed to get home once they got home. A nice say trip, that’s all that this was supposed to be. How far away was the train station again? The puddles were starting to form-
A light tap on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts, Rashomon wrapping herself around Atsushi’s wrist instinctually.
“I’m sorry for touching you,” Atsushi started, “you weren’t responding.”
“Don’t touch me,” Akutagawa replied, allowing Rashomon to free his wrist. “What did you want anyways.”
Atsushi just sighed and pointed towards the train station doors.
“The trains are cancelled again. The typhoon is getting too close for them to run them.”
“God damnit!” Akutagawa cussed, kicking the door of the station, making Atsushi jump.
Atsushi had been observant of Akutagawa’s actions since he first saw him at the doors of the agency. When Akutagawa had walked in, Rashomon gripping at his shoulders, scowl on his face, he knew something was wrong. Was Akutagawa usually angry? Yes. Did he usually have Rashomon out in the open public, outside of combat, for anyone to see? Absolutely not. It wasn’t hard to piece together the puzzle as they walked towards the station. Atsushi could see the signs of panic on Akutagawa’s face when he pointed out the sign on the door, and they were only being amplified.
“Fuck this,” Akutagawa said, throwing up his hands, “I’m going home. Tell Dazai that we’re going to do this later, and not during a fucking typhoon.” He started to walk into the storm slowly swallowing him, instinctually walking towards his apartment.
“Stop following me.” He spat at Atsushi, not stopping to look back.
“I will when I know you’re going to be okay.” Atsushi responded, splashing water on to Akutagawa’s shoes as he walked beside him. Atsushi had a bad habit of this, following, thing that he tended to do when he thought someone was in trouble. It pissed Akutagawa off.
“What is that supposed to mean, exactly.”
“I will stop following you when I know that you’re not going to have a god damn panic attack over a storm.” Atsushi said, blocking Akutagawa’s path to stare him down. His eyes were intense, eyebrows furrowed, mouth pulled taut.
“I am not going to allow you to stop me from going to my own apartment, Jinko.” Akutagawa said, shoving Atsushi roughly away from him, into the alley way.
Atsushi landed hard on the ground, groaning as he pulled himself up, throwing himself towards Akutagawa. If he wants a fight, Atsushi thought, then he’ll get one. Even in the beginning of a typhoon, the two fought, throwing punches and kicks, black tendrils and tiger paws. The rain around them began to pick up, harder than it had been all week. The sky was black and hysterical, throwing wind and sea salt in tantrum. Both men were drenched to the bone, water dripping off of Atsushi’s nose as he kicked off the wall towards Akutagawa. He loved every second. The more he was soaked by the water, the harder he shivered, the more he felt alive. His heart was pumping, warm and heavy in his chest as he landed a strike on Akutagawa’s cheek, stopping immediately when he saw the undeniable tears streaming down his face.
Akutagawa was breathing hard, chest pumping as he landed on the ground, Rashomon stuttering for a moment, unsure of her movements. His cheeks were red, and his eyes were swollen from the tears he let freely fall as they had been fighting. It had all become too much. The drops of rain felt like acid being poured over his body, the wind was deafening.
Atsushi froze as he straddled Akutagawa, having been so ready to land another hit before he saw his tears. He felt like his heart felt like it was cracking in half. The man he knew to be so strong, so resilient, was allowing himself to be pinned down during a fight, silently crying in the middle of a storm. Akutagawa’s face was defeated, eyes unfocused. Atsushi slowly brought his hand up, cupping the side of Akutagawa’s face, wiping at the tears that mixed with the rain. His cheeks were soft, and starting to flush pink as the reality of the situation began to sink in. Akutagawa began to ferociously rub his eyes, pushing Atsushi off before sitting up.
“I’m sorry.” Atsushi said.
“You saw nothing, Jinko.” Akutagawa replied, glancing up to see Atsushi soaking wet, hair drenched and shivering.
He felt guilty, having taken out his fear via anger at man that was willing to get into a fight to prove that he cared. He wanted Atsushi to hold his cheek again, wanted to feel the soft brush of his thumbs under his eyes. Atsushi stared, hands coming together at his front, clearly waiting for Akutagawa to speak again.
“You’re soaked.” He said, stupidly.
Atsushi laughed at the comment, his look of concern melting away into a glowing smile. Akutagawa felt his heart clench pleasantly at the sight.
“So are you,” Atsushi said, stepping closer. “Rashomon looks like she’s drowning.”
Akutagawa looked down at himself, only to find Atsushi’s comment to be scarily accurate. His coat fell heavily around his frame. He was also suddenly much colder, the adrenaline from the fight starting to wear off.
“We need to get you changed,” Atsushi started, beginning to walk out of alley way and in the direction Akutagawa had originally been heading, “you’re going to get sick if you stay like that.”
Akutagawa paused at the choice of words. He had never thought of them as ‘we’ before. More like enemies, rivals, or unwilling partners, if he was trying to be nice. Never a ‘we’. The concern in Atsushi’s voice felt genuine. Not for the first time, not even that night, did Akutagawa realize this; realize that Atsushi might feel actual concern for him. Care for his wellbeing.
“Don’t act like you care.” He said, testing his theory.
“I do care, you’re my partner after all.” Atsushi replied, turning to look at him, “I need you healthy and alive for me.”
“For you, huh?” Akutagawa said, “very greedy.”
“Yeah, well” Atsushi started, smiling before he continued. “I do like my possessions in working condition.”
“I am not one of your possessions, Jinko.” Akutagawa scoffed, bushing past him before he could see the red slowly forming on his cheeks. Atsushi only laughed as Akutagawa led him further into the city, the rain still pounding down on the pavement, still soaking him.
Suddenly the rain was no longer hitting his cheeks, and he glanced up to find the purple umbrella smiling back down at him. Atsushi walked in step with him, holding it over the both of them, the small size forcing them closer. Akutagawa picked up the pace, heart beginning to slam against his ribs at the sudden closeness once again.
In minutes, Akutagawa’s apartment came into view, soaring high into the skies of Yokohama. Atsushi couldn’t help but gawk as he got buzzed into the building, shaking out the rain from his dollar store umbrella. The elevator ride was short but sent them all the way up to the top of the building, the door opening to directly in front of Akutagawa’s apartment. Atsushi smiled as Akutagawa unlocked the door and allowed him in, kicking off his waterlogged shoes in the genkan. He watched as Akutagawa walked into he apartment, turning the corner into what Atsushi assumed was the kitchen.
The first thing he noticed, besides the huge size, was the wall made of windows that looked over Yokohama in the living room. The storm bared its teeth outside, harder than it was on their walk back. The rain slammed against the windows as he turned to find Akutagawa, dripping wet from the rain, looking though his fridge.
“Shouldn’t you go take a shower or something first?” Atsushi asked, stepping into the modestly decorated, modern kitchen.
“I’m making sure I have things for dinner. I am not going back out there tonight, and I’ll be damned if I make someone deliver something in this weather.” Akutagawa replied, shutting the door and walking towards a room at the end of the hallway.
Atsushi smiled at the comment, small for anyone else, huge for the demon dog of the mafia, to worry about the well being of others. He followed Akutagawa towards the end of the hall, coming across an open bedroom door where the other man was searching around in his closest. Suddenly a t-shirt came flying across the room, followed by sweatpants and a pair of boxers.
“There, you can change into those.” Akutagawa said, grabbing similar clothes out for himself, and two towels. “There’s another bathroom down the hall, use that.”
Atsushi accepted the towel and shower with a grateful sigh and headed down the hall. He could tell that is was Gin’s bathroom the second he walked in, if the puffy pink robe was anything to judge by. He laughed, imaging Akutagawa roaming his apartment in a matching one. Fifteen minutes later, and with a new pep in his step, Atsushi emerged from the steaming bathroom, smelling like the coconut shampoo that had been supplied. He could hear pots in the kitchen being moved around, and the house smelled of curry. He smiled.
Akutagawa stood at the stove, stirring the food, glancing behind him as Atsushi walked in, taking a seat at the bar.
“Isn’t curry kind of a, I don’t know, poor persons food?” Atsushi asked, taking in Akutagawa in casual clothes. He looked nice, the soft t-shirt fell loosely around his frame, he looked comfortable. Relaxed, even.
“It was the first hot meal I ever had, after Gin and I were taken in by the Port Mafia.” He replied, surprisingly vulnerable.
Atsushi hummed. He understood the feeling and promised to be more grateful for his next bowl of chazuke.
“I also made like, quadruple the amount since you eat so fucking much.”
Atsushi laughed again, Akutagawa smiling to himself at the sound while the other man couldn’t see him.
They ate quietly, the wind whipping loud enough outside to burn any awkward silence. Though Akutagawa believed, silently, that there would not be any of that anyways. When they were finished, Atsushi insisted on helping him clean the dishes. As they washed and dried, the conversation came naturally. Everything from common work stories of Dazai and Kunikida’s arguments, to the lasts mission Akutagawa had taken without Atsushi there. The dishes were in their correct spots, and tea was in hand as they both made their way to the couch.
“I always loved storms,” Atsushi started, sinking down into the couch. “They calmed me when the orphanage became too much.”
Akutagawa was silent as he listened, taking in the way that Atsushi’s face would light up every time the lightning outside flashed. He’s beautiful, Akutagawa caught himself thinking.
“I always hated storms,” Akutagawa replied. "They always tried to kill Gin and I when we were younger.”
Atsushi frowned as Akutagawa continued, imagining how scared the other must have been in his younger years.
“Catching a cold in the slums could be a death sentence if you weren’t careful,” Akutagawa continued, sipping on his tea, “One time Gin got soaked while I was sleeping. I wasn’t sure if she was going to make it.”
“You’re not allowed to blame yourself for that,” Atsushi started, reaching his hand over to rest gently on Akutagawa’s knee. The warmth was welcomed. “You had to sleep at some point.”
“Yes, but she suffered because of my weakness in that moment. That wasn’t fair to her.” Akutagawa’s eyes lifted to meet Atsushi’s.
“It’s not fair that you’re mad at your younger self for sleeping. I know you love Gin, but she would have done the same for you in a heartbeat. You wouldn’t want her blaming herself, would you?” Atsushi’s voice was soft and reaching.
In that moment, Akutagawa felt scarily human. Not a monster, not a demon dog, not a mafia member, but a real, normal human being. Something he had craved for his whole life, and here’s Atsushi, making him realize that he had it the whole time. Human for wanting to protect his sister, human for failing, human for wanting to kiss the frown off of Atsushi’s face.
Akutagawa could feel his eyes beginning to burn again, the boy in front of him starting to blur. Slowly, soft hands returned to his cheeks, solid and cool, pulling him in. Atsushi’s lips were soft and welcoming, merely brushing against his own before retreating. A show of understanding, trust.
As they began to pull away from one another, Atsushi began to giggle softly. Confused, Akutagawa opened his eyes, only to find Rashomon wrapped around Atsushi’s wrists, slowly continuing up his forearms. The trendles were thin and flowing, a river of black that twisted and turned to the curves of Atsushi’s body.
“Who’s being greedy now?” Atsushi asked, sliding his hands down Akutagawa’s cheeks to rest on his shoulders, “If you want me to keep kissing you, you could have just asked.”
Akutagawa rolled his eyes as he looked towards the other.
“I am asking. Rashomon is connected to my feelings, you know that, right?” Akutagawa started, allowing Rashomon to continue her way up Atsushi’s frame, “But if you want it direct,” Akutagawa’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I want you to keep kissing me.”
Atsushi’s smile was something that he would never get over, his own heart stammering as Atsushi grinned, pulling him in once more. Their lips slotted together like they were made for each other, this kiss much stronger than the last. Atsushi took lead, surprising Akutagawa, moving his hands back to the back of his head, combing through his hair. Akutagawa sighed into the kiss, allowing Rashomon to pull him closer to Atsushi, his hands coming down to rest on the other mans thighs.
“Oh, come on,” Atsushi whispered, pulling away for a moment, “You know you want to sit on my lap.” He shifted his weight, pulling at the backs of Akutagawa’s knees until he was comfortably sat on top.
“You’re going to fucking kill me, Jinko.” Akutagawa said, looking out towards the window to hide his blush. Atsushi took advantage of this, leaning in and kissing the side of the others neck.
“Hm, I don’t know, I’d say our deal is probably out the window at this point.”
“Funny that you assumed that you would have won-“
Akutagawa was cut off by his lips being captured once more. They kissed longer than Akutagawa could have ever imagined himself allowing someone to do so. He relaxed into the other man, allowing himself to be kissed. If felt nice, to be wanted this much. Atsushi already knew so much about him, his past, his current employment, his life in general. But here he was, being kissed like none of that mattered. For God sake, the man saw him cry twice in one day and was still attracted enough to want this. Akutagawa felt giddy.
Eventually, the room shook as the thunder cracked, seemingly right outside the window of the apartment, startling both men. They both turned to look out the window, the storm still bearing down across the city. Akutagawa could feel his giddiness fade into dread, eyes beginning to fall to half-mast. The moment was ruined, again, by a stupid storm.
“Man,” Atsushi whispered, “I guess you’re added to the list of reasons I love storms.”
Akutagawa’s heart stopped as he looked down at the other man, eyes now widening, his arms gripping him tighter around the shoulders. Atsushi was still looking out the window when he spoke, slowly turning to meet his eyes with Akutagawa’s, only then realizing what he had said.
“W-what I meant was!,” Atsushi stammered, cheeks begging to redden for the first time that night, “I wasn’t saying that, that I like, love loved you! That would be too quick right? I mean we only really just started doing all of this,” he gestured to Akutagawa sitting on his lap, throwing around his Rashomon wrapped arms haphazardly, “Like tonight! So, yeah, I guess I mean that-“
With a satisfied smirk on his face, Akutagawa reached down to cup the other man’s face, brushing a soft kiss against his lips to quiet him. A perfect copy of the way Atsushi first kissed him.
“You’re making a fool out of yourself,” Akutagawa said, grinning that the other mans bright red face.
“I know,” Atsushi said, beginning to laugh, “What’s new?”
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Akutagawa said, stretching his arms out above his head, yawning. Rashomon slowly returned to his shirt, leaving Atsushi’s arms bare.
“Tired?” Atsushi asked.
“No shit.” Akutagawa grunted out as he began to slide himself off of Atsushi’s lap, testing his now asleep legs on the floor. Atsushi huffed out a laugh.
Mindlessly, he grabbed both men’s teacups, and walked them towards the kitchen, shaking the pins and needles out of his feet as he hit the cold tile. He heard Atsushi stand as well, padding his way into the kitchen.
“Well, I guess I better get out of here so you can sleep.”
Atsushi pulled on the bottom hem of his shirt, waiting for the other to respond.
“No,” Akutagawa said, boldly wrapping his fingers around Atsushi’s, “You’re not going out in the storm. You’re spending the night here.”
Akutagawa could hear the smile in Atushi’s voice as he turned his back, leading the other to his bedroom.
“Well, if you insist.” Atsushi smiled.
The bedroom was just as modern as the kitchen but painted black from floor to ceiling. It made the room feel safe and solid. The bed was just as comfortable as Atsushi had been hoping it would be, soft comforter and mattress conforming to his body as he laid beneath the sheets. He watched as Akutagawa got ready for bed, changing into only his boxers before crawling in, laying with his back towards the other.
“Bold of you to sleep half naked with me after all that.” Atsushi said, pulling the other against his chest, kissing the back of his neck softly.
“Try anything, and I’ll have your head, Jinko.” Akutagawa said, scootching up to press himself into the other, leaning back into the kiss.
“Mhm, still not on real name basis?”
“I swear, if you don’t let me sleep,” Akutagawa said, turning slightly to look at him, “I’ll kiss you until you can’t even speak, Atsushi.”
Atsushi laughed at the ‘threat’, pulling Akutagawa in for one last kiss before settling down, finalizing the position of the covers.
“Wouldn’t even think of it, Ryuunosuke.” Atsushi said, listening to the rain beginning to fall softer outside the window.