Archive of Our Own

It all started with a sound, awful and terrible and all-encompassing. 

In a second it bloomed out of the dark and engulfed everything it found in its wake.

Then it was over and Wu Xie gave in to the night. 

The way it actually started was the same way that it always did, with Wu Sanxing being taken away by strangers in search of a treasure, and with his dearly devoted nephew rushing after him at full steam. 

"Blast the old goat," Wu Xie groaned for what felt like the hundredth time since they had left camp this afternoon.

He impatiently brushed some cobwebs out of his face.

"This way, young master."

Wu Xie grabbed the proffered hand and emerged out of the tunnel, his irritation evaporating when he noticed the expression on Pan Zi's face. Lit only from underneath by his own frontal headgear, worry seemed to have dug a veritable canyon between the man's eyebrows. He seemed…

Old.

And tired, which was no surprise, considering. He had come into Wushanju late the previous night to ask for help, had explained everything he knew of the current objective, and had even helped them pack. Wu Xie had managed to grab a couple hours of sleep during the ride there, but every time he had opened his eyes Pan Zi had been in the same rigid position, eyes fixed on the horizon as if he could make the bus go faster by sheer force of will.

How could he still be so devoted to Sanshu, Wu Xie wondered. Duty propelled him after the old geezer but Pan Zi was all but fretting in his hurry to get to him.

"How far are we?" he asked, softening his tone.

Pan Zi didn't need to take out the map to answer, he had studied it enough last night when formulating their rescue plan.

"Not far from the fork," he announced. 

Wu Xie nodded, exchanging a brief glance with Pangzi over his shoulder. 

The fork was the big mystery on their way in. 

Technically, the entire zone they were now in was classified as unknown. The first part of the caves was a well-mapped and equally well-maintained tourist attraction, but they had slipped away from their assigned guide, made a show of returning toward the buses, and finally descended into the deeper caves through a discreet passage. Dusty tunnels the likes of which they were exiting led further down into the cool dark earth, where they would rejoin their objective, and Sanshu's creditors': a secondary cave system supposed to be holding the tomb of a Jia monarch.

The men who had kidnapped Sanshu had taken the only map of the tomb, but by complete and absolute coincidence Wu Xie had recently and for no ulterior motive whatsoever acquired a folder of survey maps of the greater Hangzhou area dating back to the Republican era, which included at least the primary cave system. The secondary one, they had guessed last night, was accessed through one of either tunnels leading off of the fork, but it was impossible to determine which with any degree of certainty without being physically present. After this, the map faded to blank margins and there-be-dragons but, Wu Xie reasoned, it should be easy enough to track Sanshu's footsteps in the dust, right?

Wrong. 

The four of them bent their heads low to light the ground, but the nature of the rock around them had changed along the way from crumbly lime to hard granite, and the ground was now smooth and spotless under their feet. Even after taking the torches out of their pack, it was impossible to favor one way over the other based on tracks alone.

What the new light revealed, however, was that the left tunnel was barred by a roof collapse. As soon as Wu Xie saw this he started for the tunnel to the right but a light and unmistakable touch on his wrist made him stop. He turned toward Xiaoge, who was not much more than a floating face in the low light. 

"It's recent," Xiaoge said, nodding toward the pile of boulders.

"So they went through then blew the entrance after them?" 

Wu Xie's feet wanted to go get the rocks out of the way and forge on but the touch remained, Xiaoge's fingers cold against his skin, and so he stayed still.

"Only maybe." 

"Oh. What do we do then?" 

"Elementary, my dear Tianzhen. We look!" laughed Pangzi, dropping his backpack with a heavy noise. 

Wu Xie remained unconvinced, but bit his tongue when further examination didn't bring any new elements. In the end, they decided to try their hand at moving the rocks while Xiaoge, with his keen eyes and keener hands, explored the second tunnel in detail. They set up tripods to hold their torches, one on each side with a third one lighting the stone ceiling in the center of the fork. 

Wu Xie groaned, moaned, and almost threw out his back moving the first boulder, then decided to take a more managerial approach to the situation. He was, after all, an architectural graduate and knew best how a structure like this should be made, unmade, and possibly even remade. But after a couple of glares from Pan zi and a narrowly escaped projectile thrown by Pangzi, Wu Xie realized that it would be in everyone's best interests if he were to go and assist Xiaoge's search instead. 

He gravitated toward the man in black like a planet caught in the orbit of a star, in slow progressive cycles, until he came to stand right beside him as Xiaoge lifted himself up with his fingers (and only them, Wu Xie sighed internally) to peek behind a rocky ridge. The structure of the cave was peculiar, as if a once logical and stable structure had been shaken around until bits were poking in and out randomly through all sides. Wu Xie liked caves, at least when they weren't full of zombies and insects, and it was such a cool, dry environment compared to the stifling summer fog hovering over Hangzhou these days that he found himself breathing deeper and slower in relief. He joined his hands behind his back, looking over the structure of the cave like an old man inspecting work in progress. What a fascinating creation, he thought. Men could but copy the graceful arches and awe-inspiring giants that nature and necessity spawned - or something like that but more poetically phrased anyway. 

Then a thought struck him.

"I guess it is more dangerous on this side than on the other," he observed apropos of nothing.

Xiaoge dropped back down suddenly, his head snapping toward Wu Xie. 

"Why do you say this?" 

Startled, Wu Xie stuttered for a second.

"I- it's… I mean, for nothing in particular. It's just like… it's like two loaded guns, right? One has shot its bullet already, so to speak, but this one is still in the canon - or chamber, or whatever it's called. We know where we stand with the left one, but with this one the danger is, well, still unknown."

Xiaoge's face darkened as he spoke, but Wu Xie couldn't stop himself, yet the more he explained the worse it sounded even to his own ears.

"It's just theory," he hastily added. "They've probably gone the other way and blown the entrance after themselves so we couldn't follow. It would make the most sense knowing Sanshu."

"Hm." 

Wu Xie pulled his mouth into a line, and watched as Xiaoge resumed his explorations of the cave. His long fingers trailed over the walls, tracing the patterns of hard ridges, and Wu Xie swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks and wanted to hide but Xiaoge couldn't read minds, he reminded himself, and it was too dark to see anyway. 

Still, he turned and walked as inconspicuously as he could toward the opposite side of the tunnel. He glanced back once and met Xiaoge's eyes looking up, the same way he always seemed to do every time he looked into the rearview mirror on the way here. Giving him a quick breathy smile, Wu Xie forced himself to focus on traces. 

If Sanshu had passed through here, he thought, what would he have done? Left clues, that's for sure. He would have gone for a piss in a corner and dropped a lighter or a pencil or something , somewhere it wouldn't be spotted. There was a part of the tunnel that seemed, well, messier than the rest, near the junction with the other tunnel. As Wu Xie went to inspect it, he realized he could hear Pangzi swearing on the other side of it, though it might have just been echos. Granite was too dense to let sound through, but it was such a patchwork of a zone that there might have been some holes here and there. 

"Right on my fucking toes!" he heard, and repressed the urge to laugh. 

"Pangzi, what did you do?" he asked loudly. 

Behind him, he felt Xiaoge stop, but waved his inquiry away. 

"Dropped one of 'em on my fucking foot, that's what. Ah-ouch!" he yelled in response, detaching the two syllables to make his point. 

"He's alright," said the calm voice of Pan Zi once the whining had stopped. "But we might have to try another method, we won't be able to move all of these quickly enough."

"Do you want help?

"No thanks."

Wu Xie might have been vexed by the haste with which this answer came, if his attention hadn't been caught by an odd patch of color at the edge of his vision. His heartbeat raced. He stepped over a long fissure in the ground and climbed a couple of large boulders until he could reach the spot, but upon inspection, it was only a hard hat, the sort that hadn't been in use for a good few decades, with a strata of dust over it to confirm.

He picked it up and sighed. 

It probably dated back to the time the caves were closed off to the public. 

So much for clues.

Why had they been closed off though? Compared to some of the very public places they'd hiked in over the years, this was practically a walk in the park. The area was dry, cool, clean, with decently pretty rock formations to look at, and an easy access if one disregarded the insects. A speleology attraction set up in here would rake in a fortune. There was even a village nearby to supply tourists through Ye Olde Pricey Gear Shop. Maybe they just didn't wanna bother with the safety. 

Or something had happened. 

Could they be close enough to the tomb entrance that something could happen? 

Maybe this was why they hadn't bothered to cover their tracks until now. 

Wu Xie inhaled deeply, straightening his back as a surge of hope up down his spine. He had a good feeling about this. 

Somehow, he was sure that his uncle had gone through the tunnel on the left, and that his kidnappers had blown it after themselves, which meant that what they were doing in this tunnel was meaningless. So when he heard the familiar sounds of Pangzi setting up his explosives, he cheered. The sooner they got the path cleared up the better.

"Explosion in twenty, get cover!" came the voice again. 

Wu Xie hastily brushed the inside of the hard hat with his sleeve and put it on. He was hiding behind these large boulders on the side of the cave, under the curve of the roof, almost precisely at the safest spot, and he was wearing a hard hat! Not even mother hen Pangzi could complain about his behavior today. He covered his ears in case the weirdness that allowed him to hear the countdown through three feet of granite also deafened him with the sound of explosion, and ducked, out of habit. 

Then the ground disappeared from underneath him. 

Wu Xie yelped, arms flailing in a desperate attempts to hold onto something, anything at all, preferably still attached to-

He thudded against yet more hard granite, and heard a sharp noise.

That was definitely a rib cracking , he thought, moaning in pain. 

"Wu Xie!" 

The thrice-blessed voice of Xiaoge came from above, and Wu Xie took stock of his surroundings as he looked up. He was standing on what looked very much like the boulder he had climbed earlier, and had landed against the continuation of the cave wall, arching toward what seemed like the depths of hell itself. The part of Wu Xie's brain that had excelled in his studies noted that the structure was entirely different to what he had pictured at first and was busy re-sketching an entire mental map of the caves. 

The rest of him was yelling in complete horror at the dark chasm yawning at his feet.

If he took but one single step forward, not even a large one, he would fall into the abyss, and not even Xiaoge could pull him out of there.

"Be careful," he warned as he saw his shadow appear on the edge above him. 

"Are you hurt?" Xiaoge asked, familiar worry lining his voice.

Wu Xie wondered how Xiaoge had not gotten used to these things happening over the years. Somehow, Xiaoge had never seemed to tire of Wu Xie's bad luck - which was in itself a stroke of luck, so maybe things balanced out - and always reacted to them with the same urgency, something Wu Xie greatly appreciated at present. 

All of this flashed through his mind as he tried to keep it off the pit. Xiaoge. Rescue. He was-

"I'm fine," he remembered to say before Xiaoge jumped in to see for himself. "Mostly. Just bruised. But there is… well, there's nothing in front of me. No ground, I mean. I don't know how to get out."

"Wait." 

Not a minute later, light poured over Wu Xie, and the end of a rope landed a precise inch next to his open hand. He grabbed it, and secured it around his waist.

"There is another boulder next to you," Xiaoge said. 

Now that he could see, Wu Xie recognized it too, and prudently made his way over onto it. His knees felt like jelly, so much so that he could think the boulder was shaking. He was closer to the edge now, almost close enough for Xiaoge to reach, if only Wu Xie would step forward and let go of the wall, which was impossible . He extended his arm, gaining an inch then another, until the tip of his fingers brushed Xiaoge's. 

Unafraid as ever, Xiaoge lurched forward over the edge, balancing only with his legs, and pulled Wu Xie out in one breathless, terrifying movement. At the last second Wu Xie pushed himself up and felt the boulder give underneath him, and then he was suspended in the air and slamming over and onto the edge with another audible crack.

This time he screamed.

Xiaoge had sat back on his haunches and was pulling at his clothes, dragging him back and away from the pit while his own hands grabbed for purchase over the smooth dusty ground. He ended up sprawled halfway over him, the both of them breathing heavily in the sudden silence. 

Their eyes met in the semi-darkness, but before any one them could speak a low rumble like the threat of distant thunder started. It grew at petrifying speeds until Wu Xie could feel it in his diaphragm, shaking his core, until his ears rebelled against the onslaught of sound, until his entire being vibrated with it to overflow. Paralyzed, he saw Xiaoge's hands still clutching his front tighten and move, throwing him further away from the ridge. Xiaoge's body slipped from his grasp and then the whole world collapsed. 

For a moment, Wu Xie though the rumble he could hear was the sound of crashing waves. Everything was hushed and distant, as if he had put a seashell up to his ear. He was breathless and dizzy too, like he got after taking one too many topsy-turvy turns in the surf at the edge of that beach where is parents used to take him during the summer holidays. How long had it been since he had gone back? How long since he had seen his parents, come to think of it? He should go soon. He should… 

Move.

He was… where was he? 

Oh he didn't know where he was waking up, that wasn't good. He hadn't gone with strangers for a night since Xiaoge had returned but -

Xiaoge.

A web of something acidic spread through his stomach. There was something about Xiaoge, a rush, a hurry, something he urgently needed to do or say to him or -

What was it? 

Where was he?

And where was everyone? 

He couldn't see in the dark, but he blinked furiously until he knew for sure that his eyes were open. Nothing. The air was just… black, and dusty in a way that made his eyes sting if he kept them opened too long. 

Wu Xie raised his head, feeling a thousand years old. His neck popped. When that didn't help, he turned his chest around, and that's when his body remembered what pain was.

Red hot, blinding pain, a stroke of it like lightning tore through his entire lower body, burning and screaming at him. 

Wu Xie screamed with it. 

He felt both cold and sweaty, and so nauseous that not for a single second was he able to step back and think rationally. His world boiled down to this hell of sensations, hurting, hurting, hurting.

But after a moment, the pain changed - it didn't lessen but it focused laser-pointed onto his inner left thigh, too high to move the rest of himself away, and too sharp to ignore, calling a constant siren. His leg felt wet and warm, too warm. 

He was dying, for sure. 

Somehow his body knew this. 

He had to find help, someone, anyone that he could tell. He couldn't die like this, not after everything.

Clenching his teeth together hard enough to crack an old filling, he pushed himself up on his elbow and raised his chest again. He brought his second elbow up, intent on crawling forward, but when he put his weight on the ribs he had damaged earlier a different pain, dull and deafening, immediately lanced through him and he folded. 

He slammed back onto the ground, the air blowing out of his lungs. Unsteadily, he pulled himself back up, not giving his brain or body the option of a choice.

He had to get out. 

He had to, because he needed to find Xiaoge.

Through the red mist of pain he was remembering it all, the rumble and the crack, the abyss in the dark, but what he remembered most of all was Xiaoge pulling him out and leaving himself behind like he always did, and Wu Xie could burst out from sheer frustration at the thought. He always fucking did this, despite years - no, decades by now! - of telling him how cherished and important he was. Xiaoge wasn't cannon fodder like he seemed to believe he was, he'd never been and he certainly wasn't now. He wasn't someone to leave behind and even if Wu Xie had to drop down that fucking abyss itself to get him back he fucking would . Drawing on that rightful rage he pulled himself forward, wincing and breathless, weaker with every inch that he gained. His leg hung like dead weight behind him, cold, throbbing, and slowly melting into numbness, but Wu Xie ignored it. He didn't know into which direction he was crawling, or even if there was any such thing as directions left after the cave collapse, but he knew that the moment he stopped moving he would die. There would be no lucky escape through the will of the Ultimate, and no deus ex machina incarnated into one skinny dark shape manifesting out of the night to save him no matter how desperately Wu Xie prayed for it, and that would simply not do. He wanted to see Xiaoge now more than anything, even just to say goodbye. Xiaoge had promised to accompany him to the end. He had promised , shouldn't that count for something against the cold soullessness of fate? 

Wu Xie was angry, and he was hurt, and he was scared, for himself and for Xiaoge and for his uncle like he always was, and he was so goddamn tired of being scared for them. He had to hold onto that anger, he told himself, the same he had during those ten long years, because it was his only hope of making it out. Inch by miserable inch he had to, had to, had to - 

Suddenly his hand encountered something that wasn't rock and life flowed back into his bones all at once with the force of a tide. 

"Xiaoge," he croaked, touching the cold fingers. 

Were they colder than usual? 

Before he could worry any more, the hand retreated, slipping away from his grasp once again. 

"No!" he protested, reaching up to see out of habit but then folding back down onto himself with a cry of pain. 

Something skimmed the top of his head at high speed and crashed a little way behind him. 

"Xiaoge!" he called again, terrified that the echo of this falling rock was a precursor to another collapse.

But then a second projectile hit him on the shoulder, narrowly missing his jaw, and Wu Xie felt the tissues bruise on impact, like they were intended to .

"Ow," he yelled, ignoring the way his lungs were painfully pressing on the broken ribs. "What the fuck was that for! Xiaoge, it's me, Wu Xie!" 

A slow, low grumble answered him from a distance not too far ahead.

"You know me," he said in a quieter voice. "Wu Xie, remember? It's me." 

Another rock dropped in the same area the groans were coming from, quieter too, as if Xiaoge had simply opened his palm and let it go. 

It would probably be safe enough to approach him now, and every second that passed was another second that Wu Xie couldn't afford to waste. He resumed his agonizing crawl forward until his animal senses felt a body nearby. He extended his hand until he could reach - what ? A leg ? Yeah, that was a bony knee, and the dense tissue of Xiaoge's thigh muscles. They felt warm to the touch, but it was probably because his own hand was so dreadfully cold. 

There was no response to his prodding, and the worry returned with its acid taste.

"Xiaoge," he called again, the name falling from his lips like a well-known prayer. 

The breathing deepened into a rasp but no other sound came in answer. Wu Xie crawled further until he was close enough to lie parallel to Xiaoge's body, and patted upward. It wasn't easy because Xiaoge was sprawled over something, maybe a wall, maybe a boulder. When he reached Xiaoge's chest, his hand came up sticky and hot, so he shook him with what little strength he had left.

He grabbed at Xiaoge's shoulders, pressing his fingers into the divot of his neck in desperate search of a pulse. 

It was there, weak but rapid, but so was yet more blood, dripping onto Wu Xie's wrist as he tried to keep count. 

With careful but trembling fingers he cupped the side of Xiaoge's head, feeling his way around his skull. It was when he reached his forehead that he felt it, an angular dent in the bone, filled with blood. 

Wu Xie stopped breathing, choking on a cry.

Only a moment ago Xiaoge had been well enough to throw rocks with much of his usual accuracy even in complete darkness, and now he was-

Wu Xie stopped himself before the word could formulate itself inside his mind. He had to grab him before he could slip away, before the sand ran through his fingers and- and-

"Xiaoge!" he screamed once more, clutching at his clothes and shaking him with desperate last-second strength. 

With a gasping breath Xiaoge's body turned from limp to live, and Wu Xie crumbled over him, still white-knuckling at his hoodie. Xiaoge was breathing under him, his lungs inflating with reassuring fastness, his own breath ragged and harsh in the silent dark. 

For now they were both alive, and they were together. The thought came to Wu Xie as he swallowed down a bout of strong nausea, that if this was the end, it was how he wanted to go. 

But not Xiaoge. 

It came almost immediately on the end of that first thought, that Xiaoge had to survive. Not because he was immortal but because Wu Xie didn't want him to die like this. He was in pain too, and probably scared, though he would never tell anyone. No, he couldn't go like this, and Wu Xie couldn't die on him either because it would make Xiaoge sad. 

They had to make it out of here, both of them. 

He let himself fall to the side, and after what felt like long, very long moments of struggle, managed to take off his belt and wrap it around his upper thigh, almost at the junction of his hip, and pulled with every bit of strength he could gather. It was awful, without a doubt the worst pain he had been in his entire life. 

Then he pulled harder.

He couldn't feel most of that leg anymore anyway, but at least what he had left of blood inside of him should stay where it was now. 

Once the dizziness passed, he rolled back near Xiaoge, or rather onto him.

"You hear me?" he asked, his mouth at most a couple of inches from Xiaoge's ear.

There was something that could have been a nod.

"Are you alright?" he asked, stupidly, but not finding any alternative.

He wanted Xiaoge to talk, but Xiaoge was Mute Zhang at the best of times, and this came very close to being the worst of them. Finally he just asked.

"Talk to me. Do you know your name?"

Xiaoge groaned.

Wu Xie prodded him.

A raspy "Yes." came.

On the verge of hysteria, Wu Xie prompted, "Well what is it?" 

"Zh-"

"Yes?"

"Zhang q-"

"Almost there."

"Qiling."

"Yes!" he hissed. "Now, what's mine?"

A definite silence followed. 

"Come on, Xiaoge, you know me." 

Wu Xie almost jumped when he felt something touch his back - or rather he would have jumped if his body had cooperated, but all it did was tense in painful spasms while Xiaoge wrapped an arm around him. Surprised, Wu Xie let him, and remained still as thr second arm came around the other side. He felt them close together to hold him, until he was hauled up and into Xiaoge's embrace. 

"Oh," he said softly, more a sigh than a word. 

Xiaoge hummed something, and Wu Xie felt it reverberate all around him. Then the sounds reassembled themselves into his own name, here, close to him, but also there , beyond the cave. 

"Wu Xie!" called the echo, and Xiaoge's arms tightened around him, pressing on his ribs. 

He gasped with pain, biting his tongue not to cry out.

The voice was Pangzi's, muffled but close. Pangzi! Never, not even in that pit of snakes so long ago, had the man felt so much like a savior to him. 

On a sudden stroke of inspiration, Wu Xie fumbled around for the rock Xiaoge had dropped earlier and started hitting the ground with it in a precise rhythmic pattern. Xiaoge startled at first and clenched him in his grip, and this time Wu Xie yelped, but when he resumed his tapping Xiaoge seemed to wait and listen without squeezing him any further. 

"Yes," Wu Xie encouraged once he could breathe again, patting Xiaoge's leg with his free hand. "You know it's Pangzi. You know what I said."

SOS, he had tapped. SOS, SOS, Save Our Souls, and he had said it to himself silently as he had tapped, pleading. 

Then in their own coded language he added, WU XIE - XIAOGE WU XIE HURT - NO MOVE. 

Xiaoge perked up at this, his washboard abs tensing underneath Wu Xie's side. His arms too, coming up higher around Wu Xie as if to cradle him. He knew what Wu Xie had said, yes, knew it even if he couldn't quite entirely remember how. It was his code, the one the three of them had shared for so many years now, and the message had sunken in. He breathed out slowly, curling in on himself around Wu Xie. 

Then the tremble in his limbs stopped and Wu Xie had to turn and shake him again. Xiaoge's breathing remained steady but he didn't react, not even when Wu Xie pinched him. It was all Wu Xie could do not to fall asleep himself, even if part of his brain was telling him that Pangzi was nearby, that it was okay to close his eyes since he couldn't see in the dark anyway, that it would all be alright. Wu Xie knew that voice and it never bode well to listen. He took a deep breath, choke, and pinched Xiaoge again.

"Wake up!" 

Xiaoge flinched away from the pain but only barely, and said nothing. 

Picking up the stone again, Wu Xie tapped loudly and urgently, XIAOGE HURT - HURRY.

The noises he could hear in the distance stopped. Just in case he repeated the message, adding another HURRY for good measure before he had to drop the rock, his arm too weak to hold it up any longer.

"We gotta hang in here, okay?" he whispered to Xiaoge. 

It was unclear whether he was conscious or not but speaking helped Wu Xie himself stay awake. 

The sounds resumed, faster and louder, until light broke into the cavern and Wu Xie could see the full extent of the devastation around him. Pangzi had broken through the wall with sheer brute force, if the harsh groans he had made were any indication, slightly to the left of them, but in between was a field of debris and stone slabs stacked hapharzardly by gravity and chance. 

"Tianzhen, where are you?!"

"Here," Wu Xie answered, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. He pushed feebly against the fallen rock so that it made a louder sound.

"Tianzhen! Are you alright?" Pangzi asked, as stupidly as Wu Xie had before. "Is Xiaoge with you?" 

"Yes." 

"How is he? Are you two holding on?"

"Not long," Wu Xie managed to say. 

God, he was so thirsty, and swallowing didn't help. 

"Gotta open this up some more and then I'm coming to get you both, I promise."

There was yet more sounds, unpromising.

"Tianzhen," Pangzi called out again. "You still with me?"

Wu Xie tapped twice with the rock.

"I can't move this one, no matter what. You think things above you will hold up if I blow it?"

With what little concentration he had, Wu Xie thought the question through. If the roof caved in any further, they would die. If Pangzi didn't get to them soon, they would die. All in all it was an easy choice. 

He tapped again, twice. 

"A'right. Let's go for it. Three!" 

Xiaoge was heavy against Wu Xie's back, limp and heavy like a - he didn't even want to think the words - but his chest was still rising and falling with deep slow breaths, and his fingers were still clutched into Wu Xie's clothes. Wu Xie closed his own palms over them, holding on as best as he could. 

"Two!" 

"Pangzi's gonna get us outta here," he whispered, bracing his good leg against the hard ground and spreading himself a little more over Xiaoge. 

"One!"

Wu Xie closed his eyes.

He awoke to a scene of chaos. Through the dust, he could see more rocks had fallen around them, but thankfully none on them. A bright spot shone in their direction, blinding him, and in the cone of light he could see a trail of deep red blood that made his hair stand on end. He tried to turn to check on Xiaoge, but found himself so tightly held against his chest that he couldn't move, while Xiaoge's other arm was gesticulating in a way that Wu Xie couldn't comprehend at first. 

"Stop this!" he heard Pangzi scream with a ferocity that surprised him.

Xiaoge whimpered in response - there was no other word for it - and the sound went straight to Wu Xie's heart. 

Finally he managed to twist his head and the scene resolved itself into clearer lines. Xiaoge had awoken, which was a mercy, but he was… 

Panicked. 

Wu Xie had never seen Xiaoge like this, not even when he had come out if the jade meteorite.

He had scrambled back, dragging the both of them backwards until they were hidden between the boulders, and was clutching Wu Xie against himself like a newborn baby. He didn't seem to recognize who was coming to their rescue, because what his other hand was doing was throwing whatever it could lay it on in Pangzi and Pan Zi's direction. There was blood pouring over his face, obscuring his left eye, and he was almost feral in his intensity. He made another sound, primal and pained, his face scrunching up for a moment under all the blood before he resumed his defense.

Wu Xie dislodged a hand from his grip and raised it to try and wipe some of the blood away, but it startled him and Xiaoge tightened the arm he had around him, increasing the pressure on Wu Xie's ribs until Wu Xie could see dark spots dancing in front of his eyes. Biting his lip to bear the pain, Wu Xie still passed his sleeve over Xiaoge's eyes, and managed to meet his gaze when he looked down.

"T's alright," he said when he could breathe again. "It's alright, Xiaoge. It's Pangzi."

Xiaoge's mad eyes focused on him, wide in their search for answers. Like the tapped code Wu Xie knew that he understood and that some part of Xiaoge remembered this too, he just had to find that part. His mouth opened and softly, very quietly, Xiaoge said "Wu X…" but before that last sound crossed his lips, a noise came from behind the light and Xiaoge tensed again, his eyes clouding with anger.

He raised his hand and no matter how hard Wu Xie tried to hold his arm down, the stone flew with uncanny precision, chipping a piece off the boulder behind which Pangzi had just had time to duck.

"For fuck's sake!!" Wu Xie heard him roar. "Can you at least let me come near you, motherfucker? I'm only try to help, get your brains right!"

Wu Xie had never heard him talk like this before, or at least never to Xiaoge. Everything was so … odd. He yawned deeply, unable to stop himself. 

It wasn't their usual pattern of chaotic rampage followed by a miraculous escape. This was different. Could it really be the end? Wu Xie didn't want to think this but he did nonetheless. Superstition aside, he didn't want them to end like this, miserable and scared. They should go out in a blaze of glory, or very old and tired of living. 

"Wu Xie, whose blood is it, yours or his?" Pangzi asked.

Swallowing thickly, Wu Xie answered, "Mine. Mostly."

"Shit."

"Hm."

"I can't take you both through that gap, and I can't blow it open again or we're all dead. What do we do?"

"Wait," Wu Xie said, the last of it turning into a groan as he wriggled - oh, bad, bad idea - and crawled upward, bringing his face rightnext to Xiaoge's,  into the hollow of his neck, and passing his arms around Xiaoge's shoulders. He squeezed, gingerly careful of his own pain. 

This could go either way, Xiaoge feeling trapped or… 

Xiaoge relaxed, almost imperceptibly at first, then all at once with a bone-deep sigh. 

"It's alright," Wu Xie repeated. Louder, he said "Pangzi, c'mere."

Xiaoge's head started to come up, but Wu Xie shushed him gently.

"He's our friend. It's alright."

Xiaoge folded back down onto him unresistingly. Out of the corner of his eye, Wu Xie saw the shadow of Pangzi's body detach itself from the light. 

"Holy shit, Tianzhen," he said when he came near enough. "We gotta- I mean, we have to… holy fuck, man." 

"I know." 

"And Xiaoge, what happened?" 

"He hit his head," Wu Xie guessed, resting his fingers on the soft hair on Xiaoge's nape. Another yawn overtook him.

"Okay let's move. Come here, and I'll pass you on to Pan Zi who's out, okay? Can you walk at all?" 

"No." 

"Well nevermind, drag your ass over here and then I'll carry you." 

Pangzi kneeled down beside the boulders and reached for Wu Xie, pushing Xiaoge's arms away. The movement had the effect of an electric shock. Xiaoge's head snapped up and he moved fast, slower than he normally would but still faster than either of them, batting Pangzi's hands away and grabbing Wu Xie back before curling in on them as much as he could.

"Oh come on!" 

"Xiaoge, please. You gotta let him-"

Xiaoge made a sound again that ran through Wu Xie's guts like a bullet. He sounded like a wounded animal, and Wu Xie hated it. Without thinking he drew Xiaoge into his own arms again, pressing himself against him. His cheeks felt wet and he didn't know - couldn't know why, if it was blood, tears, gore or a mix of all three. Mostly it must be tears, he thought, because he could feel them running hot and salty from under his lids. He hoped it wasn't blood, not fresh blood at least.

He slid his fingers through Xiaoge's hair, cradling the back of his precious head. 

"Xiaoge, listen," he pleaded, "you have to let me go." 

This, he knew, Xiaoge understood, because he made a noise of refusal and pulled onto Wu Xie's clothes to hold him nearer. 

"We just… we have to get out of here. We have to treat you," he added, voice breaking on the last words. "Please let me go." 

He felt Xiaoge's repeated refusal more then he heard it, but he had to be strong for both of them. He had to, even if it hurts.

"Please," he begged, his voice breaking entirely. 

With the hand that was still curved around Xiaoge's neck he tugged until their faces were level. He pressed their cheeks together, avoiding Xiaoge's forehead as best as he could. He sniffed, breathing through his tears. Another yawn came but he swallowed it down. His lips found Xiaoge's and pressed against them with all the love for him that had grown in his heart over the years, then again for all the love that they might miss on if-

"You'll be right behind me," he said, kissing him once more.

Around his waist, the arms started to relax a little as Xiaoge's breath grew ragged and his kisses more vague.

"Right behind me, right?" he asked, and Wu Xie wasn't sure who was reassuring who anymore. The idea of leaving Xiaoge behind, hurt and vulnerable and alone, was unbearable.

Xiaoge's mouth opened to respond and Wu Xie kissed it one last desperate time. 

God, it hurt to let go. 

Everything hurt, but they couldn't stay here. 

Before he could hesitate, Wu Xie moved away and into Pangzi's waiting grasp, trying to ignore the painful tremble of Xiaoge's hands slipping from around his waist. 

Suddenly upright, what remained of Wu Xie's blood dropped down and a dark veil fell over his vision, returning the cave to complete darkness. His mouth filled with saliva as nausea overtook him and it was all he could do to swallow it down, his tongue still sticky with thirst. He fell limply forward.

Pangzi's strong, reassuring arms went around him before passing him on to Pan Zi, and he wanted to give in with the instinct of a child, to let himself be handled and believe that things would be alright from now on. 

But from behind them came a gut-wrenching keen and the sounds of a struggle, Pangzi's exclamations, and then Wu Xie was torn apart from the warm hold, shaken about, and then he was falling down, falling, falling, back into the kind embrace of oblivion.

Wakefulness returned with sluggish, stupid, happy ignorance. Wu Xie's body was heavy, so heavy. He was comfortable in the same way that he always was in the morning, his veins flooded with overdue melatonin, or almost the same. His chest felt…

Tight.

Still, he should sleep some more. Just keep his eyes shut and sleep. He took a deeper breath, feeling a distant soreness on his side.

His nose twitched with an unpleasant but familiar smell. The idea of it prodded at his mind but it was a long moment still before he could place it - blood. 

It was blood, ferrous and pungent. 

He became conscious of another strange thing, an intermittent tremor all around him, not in him but through him. Was he shivering? He was dreadfully cold, and so, so thirsty, worse than he had been in the desert. 

There were echos too, bouncing off the walls surrounding him. It felt like being held in the mouth of a beast. Something sharp was poking him in the back and he thought of fangs, biting slowly but inexorably into him. There was very little pain though, as if Wu Xie was somehow both in and outside of his own body. He yawned long and slow. 

He wasn't afraid anymore, but he could feel the aftertaste of fear on his tongue. 

He was just so tired . 

"Are you sure?" 

The voices were hushed but close.

"As certain as I am of anything. And short of shooting him with a hypodermic needle, there's no taking Tianzhen from him anyway." 

"But he was so-" 

"Not to Tianzhen. Never." 

There was a pause, and the rustle of feet.

"Alright. I'll be quick."

"Be careful too." 

The rustle turned into the patting of a run, until the echos died away. A pair of booted feet scrapped against the floor not too far from Wu Xie's head. 

"You two better hold on till he comes back, you hear me? Can't leave me behind like this, you bastards." 

Pangzi had muttered from between his teeth, talking at them rather than to them. He sat close by with a weary sigh.

Something heavy and warm had been draped over Wu Xie. He yawned again, struggling to open his eyes, but recognized Pangzi's jacket, garishly colored and large enough to cover him down to his knees. Wu Xie tried to move to extend a hand toward him, but couldn't.

Something stirred against his side at the touch, and belatedly he realized that the tightness over his chest was Xiaoge's arm, holding him close into the curve of his own body. His face was half hidden in the shadows and eaten up by messy, coagulated hair. Wu Xie realized too that the tremors he felt were coming from him. He twitched again, strong fingers pulling at his clothes. 

Wu Xie remembered it all, knew the whole horror of it, but somehow he couldn't feel anything anymore. He was sad, yes, but there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could do about anything. The die was cast, and maybe he would die, maybe they would both die, but he was with them. Xiaoge was right next to him, and Pangzi too. 

Poor Pangzi. 

As he thought of this, a sob broke out from the man. 

"I'm so sorry," Wu Xie heard him say indistinctly. 

Gathering all the meager crumbs of his strength, Wu Xie breathed in slow and deep, fighting the urge to yawn again. He had to keep his air in to talk. He unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth with an audible click, and spoke, feeling a thousand years old. 

"Pangzi," he called. 

Pangzi startled and fell to his side, scrambling to approach. 

"Tianzhen!" 

Weakly, Wu Xie tried to meet his eye. He opened his mouth again but it was so dry that he couldn't speak any more. He smacked his lips together and Pangzi seemed to understand the message. He fumbled for his pack and grabbed a canteen of water, holding it to Wu Xie's lips. Wu Xie drank eagerly, until a groan came from beside him. 

Wu Xie's brows knitted together. He moved his shoulder so Xiaoge's head lolled aside, and nudged him as best as he could. 

"Drink," he urged, his voice still rough as gravel.

Xiaoge growled when Pangzi held the canteen up to his lips.

"I know, I know," Pangzi said tiredly. "I hate me too. But you need fluids."

Water dripped down his chin in vain. After a couple more tries, Pangzi gave up, and sat back down with another sighed expletive. 

After letting another yawn roll over him, Wu Xie said, as clearly as he could, "It wasn't you."

Pangzi turned toward him in silence. With blurry eyes Wu Xie couldn't tell the exact expression on his face, but his mouth was pulled into a terrible grimace of pain. 

"Cave was…" 

Unstable, he wanted to add, but that was too much effort. 

"I fell," he managed to say.

"But if I hadn't-"

With great effort, Wu Xie shook his head. Against it, he felt Xiaoge's head roll in synchronicity, and a small sigh escaped his lips, brushing past Wu Xie's ear. Under the jacket, Wu Xie felt for his hand and closed his own palm over it. 

"'S not you," he slurred, eyes closing.

There was another silence during which Wu Xie started to drift off. When Pangzi's voice came, it was small and shaking.

"Are you sure of that?" 

Wu Xie coughed to free up his throat, his ribs screaming with pain. He gasped for enough breath to answer.

"I s…studied…" 

Pangzi's great big laugh was choked out of him with surprise. 

"Yeah, you studied architecture. We know." 

His laughter, though wet and hysterical, soothed something deep inside of Wu Xie. Xiaoge was still twitching occasionally and that too was reassuring in a way. At least, and at last, they were together, the three of them, at the end of everything.

As he drifted off, he thought of his uncle, always a distant star on the horizon. 

Maybe in sleep he would finally find him. 

______

Wu Xie startled awake, screaming a name he couldn't quite form, with on his mind the memory of a hand clasping his but slipping away, away, away. 

"There, there, it's alright, you're alright." 

He didn't know the voice but he trusted it with the instinct of a child, and let himself be soothed back into unconsciousness. 

His throat felt oddly painful. He was patted and prodded in not unfamiliar ways, and his nose itched with the stench of disinfectant. 

Oh. 

A hospital, he thought. Well, whatever happened now was out of his hands. 

Wu Xie sunk into the pillow and fell back asleep, resurfacing by moments and seeing daylight then night, people and noise then quietness. 

Through it all, during moments of relative consciousness, he tried to make an assessment of himself. His brain seemed to be working. From the sore point on his left arm and the uncomfortably tight blood pressure wrap hugging the right one, he gathered that he had both upper limbs still attached. He wiggled his toes, and he seemed to have both legs as well. That was a nice surprise. The rest of him could wait for the drugs to fade before manifesting itself. 

He slept on. 

The next morning - or a next morning, by any rate - the nurse addressed him directly. 

"Mr. Wu?" 

He nodded. 

She gave him a sip of water to loosen his sticky tongue, and Wu Xie would have drunk an entire ocean but the plastic cup withdrew and he was still too weak to protest.

"How are we feeling today? Do you know where you are?"

"Yes," he said after a moment, feeling as if he hadn't talked in a very long time. 

"Good," she said forcefully. "You gave us quite a bit of work with your homemade tourniquet. Thankfully your friends could give us a rough estimate of time, otherwise you would be far worse off now. What idea you had, to go exploring on your own! Next time better stick with your guide, they're here for a reason , you know?" 

Despite all the very good reasons they had had for doing so, Wu Xie found himself apologizing. 

"Where are they?" 

"Who?"

"My…friends." 

"Oh, these two. Well, the one who called us left almost immediately after we brought you in. The other one, the big man, has been hanging around all day everyday asking about you. He'll be glad to know that you're finally awake," she said, in a tone that suggested that she would be glad to have him stop asking. After a brief glance at her watch, she added with a sigh, " He shouldn't be too long, he's usually in by eight at the latest, even though we officially open to visitors at eight thirty." 

Wu Xie let her finish, sensing that trying to cut the complaint short would just make it longer in the end. 

"And my other friend?" he asked. 

"What friend?" 

Wu Xie's heart sank. 

"The one who was hurt too." 

"Who?" 

Wu Xie gestured toward his own forehead, sending the IV line flying around the bed. 

"He was hurt! He had a…a thing on his head." 

The nurse frowned, both at his gesticulations and in confusion. 

"I don't know. Maybe he's still in the ICU, but that's not my service." 

"I…" Wu Xie started. "I have to know. Please." 

She tsked reproachfully, pushing his shoulders back down onto the pillow. 

"You calm down first. I'll ask the night shift if they heard about him, but don't shake about like this."

Wu Xie sighed deeply but complied. 

"Please," he repeated.

"Yes, yes. You rest now, no point twisting your liver about it." 

There were a great many things that Wu Xie wanted to say in response to that but he bit his tongue and waited.

A small eternity later, Wu Xie heard heavy footsteps and the drag of combat boots echo throught the silent hallways. He hadn't fallen back asleep, just zoned out while staring at the moving patch of sunrise on the wall. 

Worry sat acid-like in his stomach, and he was still thirsty but the water jug was too far for him to reach. Once Pangzi had finished screaming in relieved delight at his wakefulness, Wu Xie asked for some water and gulped down two full cups, imagining it spread through him like rainstorm through a desert. 

"Hi," he finally said. 

"Hi yourself. How are you? When did you wake up?" 

"'M not sure. Sometimes this morning. That nurse is fucking awful." 

"Oh you got the old bitch! Yeah, she's been on my tail for a bit, I think she's sweet on me." 

Wu Xie rolled his eyes, scoffing. Pangzi grinned, and something untwisted inside of Wu Xie's gut. Still, he had to ask. 

"Where's Xiaoge?" 

Pangzi's smile fell off, and was replaced by that deep frown that Wu Xie hated. 

"Still under." 

"What does that mean?"

"He's up there, where you were the first day. They don't allow visitors in because everyone's dead asleep anyway - I mean, comas and shit." 

"What?!" Wu Xie exclaimed.

"No, no, Xiaoge's fine, I think. At least from what they tell me. I've been up a couple times pestering them, they said they're 'keeping him under sedation'," he said, doing finger quotes around the last words, "which means that he would wake up by himself if they didn't, I guess. I don't know why they do that but apparently they had to do quite a bit of plumbing on the old boy. But he's fine. They said he's fine." 

He gave a brief smile that didn't reach his eyes and a thumbs up. Wu Xie would have taken object to his flippancy but the last sentences had the feeling of sometimes that Pangzi had repeated himself again and again until he was convinced. 

Wu Xie blinked away blurryness and observed him more closely. There were deep shadows under his eyes and a scruff all over his cheeks. He looked thinner, older. 

"Pangzi," he asked slowly, "how long has it been?" 

"A week." 

"I was asleep for a whole week?" Wu Xie asked incredulously. 

No wonder he felt like roadkill warmed over. 

"And Xiaoge is still in the…"

"Yeah. They said it's normal for - for what he had." 

Wu Xie closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed as he remembered. 

"It was bad, wasn't it," he said. 

Silence answered him. When he open his eyes again to check, he found Pangzi looking a way that he never should look, Wu Xie thought. Something looked broken in him. His eyes were swimming with unshed tears and no matter how often he opened his mouth and closed it again, no sound came out.

"You didn't see him but I did," he said when his voice returned. "He was like - like a walking corpse, like a zombie, all bloody and weird and jerky, and his eyes were so… so weird. " 

His eyes drifted down, his gaze unfocusing as the tears started to roll down without his notice. 

"And yet he was holding you so carefully, and he wouldn't let me or Pan Zi approach because he was protecting you. And it made me so mad, you know, because you were bleeding and we couldn't lose time, but it was breaking my heart too because he was so scared and I have never ever seen Xiaoge scared like that before. It was something awful, but I yelled at him because I had to get you both out but he was still fucking stronger than me, and so I screamed at him but what if it's the last thing he remembers of me, uh? What if the last thing I ever said to him was calling him a motherfucker because he was protecting you inconveniently?" 

"Pangzi," Wu Xie called out, extending his hand. 

Pangzi fell into the seat next to his bed and grabbed the hand like a lifeline, his face falling onto the mattress as heavy sobs racked his framed. 

His heart was as big as he was, after all, thought Wu Xie.

"It's Xiaoge," he said when he felt that his words would be heard. "He has pulled through bad things before, and we always got him back, right?" 

This one had been bad bad , he knew, but he had to believe it would be all right in the end. Even if Xiaoge had to relearn everything once more, they would do it together. And even if he was bed bound for the rest of his life, they would care for him. 

Of course they would.

There was no version of the world in which the three of them wouldn't stay together no matter what happened, so he had to believe.

"You know," he said, "sometimes when I think about his life, I wanna… I wanna wrap him in cotton wool and put him in a box. Like a vase. So nothing bad will ever happen to him any more."

"Oh god, yes," agreed Pangzi emphatically. "If only we could."  

Wu Xie attempted a smile. 

"Maybe this is our chance." 

"Nah, he would hate it." 

"And even if he let us, we wouldn't want this for him." 

"Nope," Pangzi agreed with a sniff. "He's our feral cat and we love him just the way he is." 

This time Wu Xie laughed for real. The comparison was too perfect. He really was like a cat, strong and sleek and independant, but also very silly at times, and prone to silent sulking. He laughed again like the air was bubbling out of his lungs, feeling his shoulders shake. Beyond his worry and his guilt and all the complicated feelings that he had about Xiaoge, he just missed him. 

Pangzi saw the wobble of Wu Xie's smile and envelopped him in his arms before the first tear could fall. 

"He's gonna be alright, yeah?" he asked, the sound muffled against Pangzi's ugly purple shirt.

"Yes he will. Xiaoge's always alright."

Later that day, Wu Xie's belongings were returned to him while Pangzi was out to get some lunch. After borrowing a charger he plugged in his phone, intent on writing to Pan Zi, but before he could type the first word his phone buzzed. Startled, he let it go, and it fell from the bed. 

With an exasperated sigh Wu Xie looked heavenward, wondering what deity he had crossed. He pressed the call button twice, but when nothing happened he threw the blankets away and looked over the banister. 

The phone wasn't all that far, just on the floor, theoretically within reach. It was even face up, and his screen was uncracked. Small mercies. 

It buzzed again, and the screen lit up. Wu Xie could just about make the name of the sender, Pan Zi, and the words "Your uncle is…" in the text preview. 

Dammit, he had to get that phone.

Wu Xie twisted to look down, suddenly remembering that he had broken more than a few ribs on that specific side. What little abs he had acquired over their years of adventure tensed up, straightening his frame. Oh, that had been a terrible strategy, he thought, stars dancing in front of his eyes. 

Maybe he could slide off the bed instead. He scooted over, and fumbled with the banister. It folded to the side with a loud clank. Bed, one, Wu Xie, one. At least now they were even. He slipped his good leg off the bed, feeling for the ground with his bare toes. So far so good. He could probably squat down with that leg while keeping the bandaged on upright, he had seen Xiaoge do something like that before. 

Holding onto the bed, Wu Xie lowered himself and quickly realized his mistake. He was as far from Xiaoge's musculature as he had ever been after a week's bed rest, and there was no way he would make it back onto the bed. He would have to wait for Pangzi to return, and he just knew that he would be made fun of. This was the price he had to pay, he supposed. At least he would get his phone back in the meantime.

With a defeated sigh, he let go of the bed, and landed squarely on his ass, but he hadn't counted on the shock travelling up through his ribs either, and he cried out. 

The first day of the rest of your life, he thought, and laughed hysterically as he reached for the device.

"Apologies. Have to return to the caves, will update en route. Please be well," read the first text, dating back to the evening of that fateful day. "Your uncle is safe," read the second one, with no additional details. Wu Xie waited for a third text but the phone remained silent. 

After a moment, he started typing, "Thank you. I'm okay too, we're still waiting on Xiaoge" and paused. He meant to write "to awaken" but something stopped him. He was waiting for Xiaoge again, when this time there wasn't a gigantic door and timeless entities stopping him, just a pissy old bitch. Damn it all, he would fucking see Xiaoge today, and no one could stop him!

…if he managed to get off the floor first, of course. 

As was the sad habit of a lifetime, Wu Xie rushed to try, and then thought the situation through after his initial attempt failed. His thigh was throbbing with pain where they had sutured it. He hadn't eaten in a week, and was by no means an athlete to begin with, so propulsing himself up was out of the question. 

He needed help. 

He pressed send on the text to Pan Zi, and scrolled up to find Pangzi's name in the contact list. 

"Where are you?" he asked when the call connected. 

"Tianzhen? Why are you calling me? Are you alright?" 

With every question, Pangzi's voice grew a little more worried. 

"I'm good," Wu Xie lied. "I just … well, need a hand." 

He heard Pangzi's voice through the door before hearing it through the phone, and hung up.

"Tianzhen... Where are you? Tianzhen! Damn, why did he h-"

"I'm down here," called Wu Xie out, waving his hand in the air. 

At Pangzi's confused head tilt, he gave a sheepish smile. 

"I dropped my phone."

"Was it attached to the rest of you or did you just decide to swan dive after it of your own will?" 

"...the latter?"

"Why do I even ask. Here," he said extending a hand. 

He pulled Wu Xie up, and Wu Xie screamed. 

A distant part of him noted that this recklessness of his was certainly not helped by the company he kept, but that voice was swallowed down by the roar of pain coming from his ribs. If they had considered the situation, Pangzi would have probably elected to lift Wu Xie up rather than pull on his injured side, but it was too late now, and Wu Xie flopped miserably back onto the bed. 

"What’s all this then?" asked a stern voice from the doorstep. 

"He fell." 

"I fell." 

"Because you meddled with the bed! Why did you do this? Honestly," she scoffed. "How old you are?" 

Wu Xie knew that she knew his age from the charts attached to the end of the bed, but her question had the desired effect nonetheless, and he found himself blushing with shame as she fixed his pillow and helped him settle back properly. Steeling himself against the iron of her glare, Wu Xie puffed his chest as much as his ribs allowed and declared, "I want to go see my friend who's in the icy you." 

"I C U," she corrected out of what was clearly habit. Then with a sharp glance she added, "Stands for Intensive Care. You're not a nurse, or a doctor, you're no use there." 

"But-" 

"It will just depress you. Everyone is sleeping. Your friend will be sleeping too. He won't hear or see you. Wait until he's out." 

Wu Xie bit his tongue to stop the reply that came to mind. No matter what she said, he would find a way in. He just needed to be smart about it. 

She fussed about the room some more, taking measurements and replacing various pouches that they pretended not to see. Wu Xie had argued with her earlier about some of them but she has replied that as he was still officially confined to his bed, awake or not, he would keep all the various tubes coming in and out of his body as long as she said, and whether he liked it or not. 

This time he kept quiet and agreed to everything she said until she cleared the room. Then he turned to Pangzi. 

"You gotta help me." 

"Anything," Pangzi replied immediately, and Wu Xie loved him for it. 

"We're gonna go see Xiaoge." 

"How? Are we stealing white blouses and that black thing they wear around their necks, what's it called-" 

"You gotta find me a wheelchair first." 

"I saw a bunch on the ground floor!" 

"Perfect." 

While Pangzi went on his quest, Wu Xie gathered all the pouches and hid them in his bed clothes. He kept the dripping on on hand, and attached it to the pole sticking up from the wheelchair like he had seen on previous hospital stays. Pangzi helped him transfer then threw his own cardigan over Wu Xie's knees as a makeshift blanket. Wu Xie checked that the coast was clear, then motionned to Pangzi to wheel him forward. They reach the elevator unencumbered, and breathed out a collective sigh of relief once its doors closed on them. 

"Is your heart beating fast too or what?" asked Pangzi. "This is more stressful than when we broke into that laboratory. Worse than the bank, even!" 

Wu Xie had to agree, and quietly apologized to any deity listening for their extended experience with heists and thievery. He was pretty sure that the grave robbing was worse for their karma anyway. And this one was for a good cause! The best of causes!

The doors slid open to a world of loud stillness. There was very little movement behind the glass doors of the ward, but things were constantly beeping, alarms rang, and the hospital personels chatted carelessly as they went through the maze of deaf unconscious bodies. 

A young nurse spotted them and opened the doors, greeting them with a polite smile. 

"Can I help you?"

Wu Xie took the initiative.

"We are here to see one of your patients, Zhang Qiling. He was admitted last week." 

"Oh, Blood Brain!" said the man, before slapping a hand over his mouth. "I'm so sorry," he said, "I've been here for eight months, we forget how to talk to normal people after a while. He's in my zone, I was about to go check on him. Do you wanna come with?" 

He opened the door wider. The two of them exchanged a glance before deciding not to question this good luck. 

"He's the skinny guy who came in with a cranial hemmorrage, right? He's very stable, at least he has been since we installed the drain. His vitals are a bit outside the norms but remarkably stable, as I say. What are you, family?" 

"Yes," Wu Xie said.

"Next of kin," added Pangzi.

"Nice, he'll be happy to get some visitors." 

Hope swelled inside of Wu Xie.

"Is he awake?" 

"Nope," said the young man with casualness, "but it's nice all the same. He'll know you care. Here he is, sleeping beauty!" 

The beds were tightly packed in the room, which Wu Xie supposed made it easier to keep an eye on all the patients, but most of them were hooked to complicated machines and it wasn't easy to navigate the space in the wheelchair. Once they reached the side of the bed, Wu Xie recognized the sight of Xiaoge in hospital pajamas, pale and asleep. What was out of the ordinary was the large bandages covering the top half of his face down to his eyebrows. Underneath them were dark circles like bruises, and then his long lashes, fanning out over soft, unmarked cheeks. He looked devastatingly young, and so… 

Fragile.

Without the usual cold fire of his open eyes and the rigid tension of his body, Xiaoge looked no different than any other injured patient in the ward. 

In the end, he was just a man. 

Wu Xie patted upward until he found Pangzi's wrist and grabbed it, anchoring himself in the sharing of their pain and of their love for the sleeping man. 

"I gotta clean the drain now," said the young nurse, "I don't know that you'll want to see this. It's not too pretty." 

"Yes we do," answered Wu Xie without hesitation.

Whatever was done to Xiaoge, he wanted to witness it.

"A'right." 

The man left a moment to wash his hands and was snapping on a pair of gloves when he returned. He skillfully unwrapped the bandages, passing careful fingers around Xiaoge's head, and talking to him in a low voice as he worked. 

"There you go, just one last round, aaand we're good."

The last of the bandages unwound, they discovered that Xiaoge's hair had been buzzed off all round his skull and a small patched at the front shaved. From that patch a tube was coming out, attached to what was, for all intents and purposes, a faucet. Despite all the unnatural things they had seen in their time, this was the most repulsive Wu Xie had ever seen. It was clinical , in the coldest of senses. Too much blood? Let's pull the plug on that and drain it out, just like a flooded basement. Nevermind what was inside of that precious bone cover, we'll just shave it and then saw through, fix him like a machine.

Wu Xie felt sick. He knew that this was good medicine, meant only for Xiaoge's benefice and general well-being, but it hurt to see. 

"Just gonna clean you up a bit now, might sting, won't last, all good! Thank you for your cooperation sir," concluded the nurse. 

Unconsciously, Wu Xie had dug his fingernails into Pangzi's arms, but his grip relaxed as the gentle voice soothed them all. He was glad, so very, very glad that this kind man was the one assigned to Xiaoge, and that he had the harpy. He could have done without her, of course, but he'd rather Xiaoge had this guy. 

"Were you with him?" the nurse asked when he straightened up. 

"Uh?" 

"You don't look too good either, sir, no offence." 

"Ah, yes." 

"Kinda look like you both got dragged through a hedge backwards." 

"Yes, that's the general idea." 

"Your guy even had a broken ankle when he got there, but didn't respond to pain stimuli. We only saw it when we x-rayed him from head to toe. Broken toes as well, come to think of it, at least two. Better keep this one away from the mountains, right?" he laughed.

Wu Xie blinked in stunned silence, unable to formulate a response. How could he begin to explain what kind of person Xiaoge was? That yes, he would very much like to keep Xiaoge away from moutains, or at least from one mountain in particular for the rest of their hopefully long lives, but also that Xiaoge was … well, sort of extraordinary. That he was both the strangest and the best of men. That he was the kind of person who would run on apparently multiple fractures with a crazy head wound just to protect him. That Xiaoge was… 

Words failed Wu Xie and open and closed his mouth in turn, gaping at the nurse like a fish out of water. 

"We'll do that, yeah," interjected Pangzi, pulling the wheelchair back a little way. "You done, Tianzhen, or do you want a moment?" 

Something big and heavy was lodged in Wu Xie's throat, blocking the words and most of the air. He gasped a few times, before shaking his head. He couldn't talk to Xiaoge now, not the way that he wanted to, couldn't stick by his side without interfering. The harpy had been right, annoying as it was to admit it. 

In the ride down Pangzi patted his shoulder, keeping a solemn silence. They let themselves be berated by the nurse when they finally reappeared in Wu Xie's room, only protesting when she threatened to ban Pangzi from the hospital. Wu Xie and all relative appendages were returned to the bed, scolded one last time for good measure, and then left to sleep.

He felt empty, and tired, and so he slept.

"Sanshu had to have gone through the left tunnel. Otherwise, his body would have already been found by the time we arrived. The right tunnel was structurally unsound, and most likely ended up in a dead end-" 

Wu Xie held up his hand to cut Pangzi off.

"No pun intended, but pun accepted. There was no way out through there but feet first."

Pangzi raised an eyebrow.

"D'you reckon that's why they closed it off?"

"Most likely. That first explosion Sanshu's group set up probably didn't help, but it wasn't yours that brought it all down on us, I'm sure of that. It was an accident waiting to happen, as they say." 

"Yeah, yeah-"

"I'm telling you!" protested Wu Xie, starting to put his own two hands at right angles for a demonstration. "There was this arch in the structure, okay? Like this. But then we were…" he moved his ring finger downwards to point at the middle of his palm, "here, and… Wait, get me some paper and I'll show you. It's very simple." 

Pangzi was digging through his many cargo pants pockets in search of an old receipt when the door opened. 

"And what are you two doing now?" asked the sarcastic voice of the head nurse. 

"I am in bed, so nothing you need to worry about," replied Wu Xie with a grin.

Over the last few days, Wu Xie had come to know more about her. That evening, when she had returned to his room to check on him before her shift ended, she had spoken about the ICU and what Wu Xie had seen there, and she had been rough but kind, and she had also been right but had never rubbed it in his face. Since then, she had mellowed somewhat, and now a sort of biting respect existed between them. Wu Xie thought to himself that she must enjoy bickering with the patients more than giving orders. 

"I think that even if you were paralyzed from head to toe you would be capable of giving me things to worry about," she said as if to prove his point, and Pangzi's laughter exploded out of him.

"Not even known you a week but she already has you down pat, Tianzhen!" 

Wu Xie rolled his eyes good naturedly. 

"Sit up," she ordered, before getting started on her usual checks and swaps. 

But this time, when she got down to the catheter attached to his leg, she started pulling the tape off - along with more than a few hairs - and then pulled sharply downward. Something extremely primal in Wu Xie rebelled at the sensation and he yelped, covering his groin with both hands. 

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed. 

"Watch your tongue, young man. I thought you wanted me to remove it?"

"You could have warned me! I thought you were ripping off my d-"

"I was already working here when you were just an infant and I have never ripped one away so far," she replied, fixing him with a cool glance.

Wu Xie felt himself blush to the roots of his hair.

"Unless you want to stay in bed?" 

"Can I go home then?" he asked in return, sitting up eagerly.

"No. But you know your friend who was in intensive care?" 

Wu Xie froze.

Was.

"Yes?" 

"He has been moved down the hall. I figured you'd want to pay him another visit." 

"What?"

All the air that had stilled in his lungs came out with the exclamation, and Wu Xie's mouth fell open, not knowing what to ask first.

"Xiaoge's awake?" asked Pangzi over his shoulder.

"Not yet, but he should be soon."

"Can we really go?" 

"I am not in the habit of joking. Stop fidgeting," she said, batting Wu Xie's hands away from her work. 

"Is he alright?" he finally asked.

"He's not too bad, or they wouldn't have passed him on to us. They said he was fully conscious almost immediately when he opened his eyes. Funny boy, that one." 

Pangzi laughed again, and anyone who wasn't Wu Xie would have missed the forced boisterousness of it, the breathy sigh of relief running through the fits. Xiaoge was a funny boy, alright. 

Impatiently, Wu Xie watched the nurse finish her work, and all but jumped onto the wheelchair when Pangzi advanced it toward the bed. Three different employees shouted at them to stop racing down the corridors before they made it to the proper room, and knocked. 

The same doctor that had seen to Wu Xie the previous day was checking the charts attached to the foot of the bed, and greeted them politely. 

"We're his next of kin," Wu Xie said, and the not-exactly-a-lie came out more easily than the last time. 

They had no way to prove it but their escapade had made rounds, and if anything the head tilts and discreet side-steps they were making to peep behind him were proof enough of their concern. The doctor didn't tell them much more than the nurse already had - Xiaoge had awoken in the ICU and been responsive, he seemed to know where he was, and his injuries were already showing clear signs of improvement. 

"He's a quick healer," said Pangzi. 

"Well, he's got his work cut out for him. I've left you a list of questions we go through with patients in the recovery room, if you could go over them when he wakes up that would be good. I'm assuming you want to stay?" 

"Yes," they replied in unison. 

"Alright, I will leave you to it. Should you need someone, you have the call button right th- why am I telling you this, you know the drill, don't you?" 

They laughed politely and agreed, watching him depart from the room before approaching the bed in solemn silence. They knew the drill, yes. This wasn't the first time one of them was in the hospital, far from it. If not for the buzzcut and fresh pink scar, Xiaoge would look no different than he had after the jade meteorite, or when they'd brought him in for a check-up after climbing down Changbai, or… 

"We're getting too old for this, aren't we?" commented Pangzi, as if he had been reading Wu Xie's mind.

Wu Xie nodded and wheeled himself closer, reaching up to slip his fingers around Xiaoge's open hand. It was light, and cold, and dry, with that familiar pattern of scars on the palm like strange bas-reliefs underneath the pad of his own fingers. Thoughts swirled through his mind without ever quite settling into words, so he remained silent. 

They waited.

This, too, was familiar.

The noises of a busy day in the hospital passed beyond the quiet room, marking the long hours, until a knock on the door made them jump.

"Ten more minutes," announced the night nurse. 

Pangzi sighed and slapped his knees as he got up. 

"Well, not like ten minutes will change much," he said. 

So far Xiaoge hadn't so much as twitched. Wu Xie hummed in agreement, but didn't move. His brain was telling his hand to let go and return to his lap, but somehow the signal never made it down his arm. 

"Should I take you back to your room or…?" 

Wu Xie blinked, and took a deep breath. They'd return tomorrow. Xiaoge just needed more rest, that was all. And so did they - his entire back ached from a mixture of bad posture and tension. With considerable effort, he unfurled his fingers and unstuck his palm from Xiaoge's, replacing his hand carefully on the sheets before massaging some feeling back into his own.

"Let's go," he said, his voice distant.

Pangzi hadn't had time to grab the handles when a gasping breath came from the bed and Xiaoge awoke with his usual wide-eyed unblinking stare. Wu xie scrambled forward, almost falling off the chair in his hurry, and snatched the hand back, grabbing it in both hands.

"Xiaoge," they both called out, and for a moment Xiaoge didn't seem to know where to look, blinking sleep from his eyes while he stared at each of them in turn.

"Are you alright?"

"Do you know who we are?" 

Xiaoge blinked longer, which they took as a positive answer. Both of them let out a heavy sigh and fell back against their respective seats. 

"Welcome back," said Wu Xie, a smile breaking over his face. 

Pangzi had already sat back up and fidgeted with the sheets, pulling them higher and neater over Xiaoge's chest as if he was afraid that he could get cold despite the summer heat. Out of the corner of his eye, Wu Xie saw him rub the back of a hand over his entire face with a great big sniff, before he collapsed onto the bed, spreading over Xiaoge's entire upper body. 

"Careful," Wu Xie warned, but he couldn't reproach him anything, because Pangzi was being careful and not resting his weight on Xiaoge at all, or pulling any tube, and Wu Xie knew. 

He remembered the tears, and the guilt. Gods knew that he wished he could join in on that hug too. Instead, he rubbed Xiaoge's hand in his, warming his fingers. After a moment, Pangzi sat down again, still patting Xiaoge's chest and sniffing.

"You gave us quite the scare this time," he said. 

Xiaoge turned his eyes, searching for Wu Xie's, who nodded. 

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

Xiaoge gave a sort of shrug. 

"Not much?"

He shook his head slightly in agreement. 

They were halfway through a rough recount of the events when the night nurse returned. She was sweeter than the day nurse at first glance, but stricter, and their chances of negotiations were slim to nonexistent. 

Pangzi stood.

"I'll go." 

He patted Xiaoge's chest again, lifted a hand to run it through his hair like he did sometimes before remembering the buzzcut, patted his cheek over the oxygen line instead, and then said his goodbyes. It took obvious effort for him not to hug Xiaoge again. 

"I'll be back tomorrow morning. Won't even notice I'm gone. So you sleep well okay? Good night, sleep tight, don't let the shibie bite and all that. You too Tianzhen, don't stay too late, you need rest."

Wu Xie freed a hand to wave at him, then quickly grabbed the sheet of paper with the questions on it to parry the nurse's attack. 

"I haven't done the questions yet! The doctor asked me to ask him before I go!" 

With an eye roll and what Wu Xie couldn't accept as an indulgent smile, she exited the room again and left them alone together at last. 

He turned back to Xiaoge, met his half-closing eyes again, and something settled over the room. He had given a cursory glance at the question list earlier before deciding that they were worth jack shit to test Xiaoge's alertness, and so he discarded the paper. The way that Xiaoge's hand followed his when he threaded their fingers back with one another's was much more indicative. And the way he looked at him through his tired blinks, his dark eyes never leaving Wu Xie's face. Wu Xie knew what a Xiaoge that had lost his mind or memory looked like, and thank every god in heaven, he wasn't looking at either right now. 

What he was looking at was the Xiaoge he had waited for his whole life.

Wu Xie laughed, a quick burst of air bubbling out of his mouth.

"You've done it again."

Xiaoge's eyebrows got closer to one another in what was not yet a frown. The laugh dissipated. 

"You've saved me again," Wu Xie said. "I will never have enough lives to repay you, you know."

Two-thirds asleep already, Xiaoge managed to roll his eyes, before closing them entirely. Wu Xie smiled.

"Pangzi's right," he said in a softer voice, "you should rest now." 

Xiaoge's head moved in what could have been a nod, but tightened his grip on Wu Xie's hand.

"Sleep, Xiaoge," he admonished gently, trying to untangle their fingers. "I'll be-"

Xiaoge's voice was low, gravelly, but unmistakable. 

"Don't go." 

That's rich, coming from you, he thought.

But Wu Xie remembered how it felt to be in his place, to feel your strength leaking away from you and only be able to hold on and beg. 

He could still feel the cold bite of snow on his skin some nights. 

Wu Xie gave up the fight and resettled their hands together. Despite himself, he was impressed by Xiaoge's grip, almost as strong as it usually was. He observed as Xiaoge pulled onto their joined hands and lifted him from the chair with the curl of a single arm, only stopping him when their position threatened to put pressure on his injured leg. Xiaoge's foot was raised off the bed by a little hamac hanging from the ceiling so it was easy for Wu Xie to slip his own extended leg underneath it and lie beside Xiaoge's body on the narrow bed. It wasn't exactly comfortable and wouldn't last for long, but he could pull their hands against his heart and rest his head next to Xiaoge's on the pillow, feeling his breath brush the side of his own cheek. 

It wasn't all that different from the way Xiaoge had held him in the cave, Wu Xie realized. He was trying to be careful but Xiaoge's wasn't helping, moving on the mattress in ways that brought them into a deeper embrace, until Wu Xie could feel every heart beat of Xiaoge's against his own chest. 

Xiaoge's eyes were closed, but his own were level with the scar, pink and angry. It was already closed, but fresh, a testament to how far Xiaoge was capable of going for him. 

As he closed his eyes, Wu Xie felt stray tears pearl on his lashes. He lifted his head and pressed his lips to the side of the scar. 

"Thank you," he whispered against it, feeling the tickle of short hair against his chin. 

On the way down, Xiaoge's lips met his, tentative and soft. 

Oh. 

Wu Xie's heart thumped as he sank into the kiss, feeling Xiaoge melt into sleep slowly. With a last brush of his lips, Wu Xie nudged his head back onto the pillow. 

"Sleep," he said again. "I'll look after us for now." 

Xiaoge's words were so mumbled that it took a moment for Wu Xie to understand them. When he did, they felt the same way that the last rays of sunset did in that instant, painting the room in shades of golden red. 

Like a goodbye that is also the promise of a return. 

"I'll accompany you."