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The two boys sit on the roof, “I’ve never been able to smoke,” one grumbles, “I inhale too much or too fast, end up coughing.”
Sang-wook laughs, “You’ll get the hang of it,”
“I hope so,” the boy takes a drag off a cigarette and immediately chokes.
“We should go before we get caught,” he chuckles, “lets go grab something to eat from the convenience store,”
“Yeah,” the boy stubs out his cigarette, looking at it, clearly frustrated.
“C’mon man, you’ll figure it out,” he laughs.
“Yeah, guess I will. Let’s go get some food then,” he smiles a little more.
The two were inseparable, that much was known by most people who lived near them. The boy had been with Sang-wook when he lost everything, when he came home to his house on fire. He was there, outside the court house with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter every day that the trial went on, and his family took the boy in, too. He shared in Sang-wook’s anger when the sentence was so small, was there, waiting patiently outside the courthouse just as he’d been every day, was the only one to see the dead, defeated look in Sang-wook’s eyes. They’d bought cheap drinks so they could go smash the bottles, screamed, and when Sang-wook cried, for the one time in his life, he was there to hold him.
He stayed with Sang-wook for his entire life. Poverty, homelessness, finding and torturing Choi Yoon-jae. He was with Sang-wook nearly every time he smoked, enjoying his second hand, he never did get the hang of it.
So when they found that he’d escaped amidst the chaos? He was right there with him. He ran interference when he almost escapes a third time, tackled him so an ever so slightly dazed Sang-wook could take care of him. He followed Sang-wook outside, into the pouring rain, watched as he placed him in the concrete tubes so the monster could take him. He stood by him as he closed the shutters.
“Go, go inside,” he begged, he looked like he as barely conscious, the other man felt the same, he got hit at some point as well.
“Sang-wook, we’ve been side by side our entire lives, I’m not letting you die alone,” he had wanted to say something else, but Sang-wook stopped pulling the shutters down, he stepped inside, pulled the man after him, and then the two collapsed.
“Guh, my head,” the man groaned. He glanced to his side, saw the girl treating Sang-wook, “he’s getting closer to waking up, I’d suggest you stop treating him, he doesn’t like being to-“ he gets cut off by Sang-wook bolting awake, hand around the girl’s throat. “Sang-wook it’s fine, let her go,” he puts a gentle hand on his wrist, and Sang-wook lets go. He gets up and stumbles out of the room, and the other man follows, shooting the girl an apologetic look and mouthing “sorry”.
He follows the stumbling man up the ancient fire escape on the side of the building, he collapses to the ground, and the man sees a look on his face he’d only ever seen once. Sang-wook puts a cigarette between his lips, trying to light it with shaky hands. “Let me,” he says softly, he takes the lighter and get the end of his companion’s cigarette.
And then the tears fall. Fast, angry, silent. A look of pure anguish is covering every inch of his friends face, and it hurts him to see, confuses him too, but he knows what he needs to do, and he opens his arms for the man to enter. The full weight of Sang-wook’s body crashes into him, and he takes it in stride.
“Don’t know why I’m crying, I killed him, I should be happy, overjoyed.” He’s sobbing into the man’s shoulder. “I don’t know why I’m like this,”
“It’s okay, Sang-wook, it’s okay, you just did something extremely emotionally taxing, it makes sense, it’s okay,” he comforts.
They spend an hour this way, silent besides an occasional hiccup or sniffle from Sang-wook. “You were prepared to die with me, there wasn’t even a moment of hesitation behind it. Why?”
“I told you didn’t I? I wasn’t going to let you die alone, we’ve been together our entire lives, why would I want to live the rest of mine without you?” He smiles, and Sang-wook can’t help but stare at the way the skin around his eyes crinkles when he does.
“We might die here anyways, what are you going to do if I die and you don’t? Will you be okay?”
“Maybe I’ll find the thing that killed you, and I’ll kill it or die trying, maybe I’ll become reckless and violent, maybe I’ll become one of the better protectors this place has, or maybe I’ll just stop doing anything at all. Maybe the very emotion of losing you will be the thing that kills me. Frankly I don’t know, because the thought of you dying is the worst thought that I can ever have.” He confesses.
“You still can’t smoke, can you?” He laughs.
“No, I can’t,” he laughs, it has a gentle tone to it.
“C’mere.” Sang-wook takes a drag from his cigarette, and he gently holds the other man’s face. His lips press against the others as he puffs smoke gently into his mouth, and the other gladly accepts it. “I love you,” are the first things to leave Sang-wook’s mouth the second he pulls away.
“I love you too,” he smiles, and the two lay against each other. He always knew how to smoke, but pretending he didn’t so he could have the moments of Sang-wook blowing his smoke towards him? It was worth it.