Chapter Text
Deadlock awoke in the middle of the night with a start. There were no dramatic movements, just a sudden opening of the eyes and hurried, shallow breaths that lengthened into deep gulps of air to calm herself.
Her arm felt like it was burning again. The pain was not as severe as it used to be, but Deadlock avoided looking at her prosthetic, because it was abjectly miserable for her to remember. At times she tried her best to remain indifferent, other times she would stare at her arm with morbid curiosity, with the sickening and humbling sensation of realizing that she wasn’t “whole” anymore. It was just a cold, pristinely clean, cybernetic arm that replaced the one that was obliterated in a struggle against a savage creature. Deadlock squeezed her eyes shut, and when she reopened them, they pricked with unexpected tears. The phantom pain made it feel as if she were mourning the loss of a loved one, something that she could call flesh and blood.
There was a rustle of blankets, and a hand that reached out and began to gently pull strands of Deadlock’s hair away from her face. “It was a nightmare, Iselin,” Fade said quietly.
“You’re awake.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” Fade agreed. A silence stretched between them, and when Deadlock spoke again, her chest swelled and her voice strained with desperate frustration.
“It hurts.” She swallowed. “And it doesn’t stop.” She had already taken her medication, and was going through physical therapy, but the pain would sometimes flare up in the middle of the night. After losing a limb so abruptly, and gaining an artificial one just as suddenly, her body was struggling to reconcile with itself. Sage had explained to Deadlock that her nervous system was playing catch-up; in other words, it would be a while before Deadlock moved with the new prosthetic as if it were her own arm, and even longer until the nightmares ceased appearing in her sleep.
Fade rolled over to face Deadlock. Her eyes were two pinpricks of differently colored light, focusing on Deadlock as the only subject of their attention. The devotion of Fade’s stare made Deadlock near feverish; she couldn’t recall the last time someone had looked at her like that.
“Here,” Fade said, and she inched closer, her body curling up against Deadlock’s. Cool, rough skin pressed against the warmth of Deadlock’s muscles; the two women relaxing in contentment as they shared the same breaths. No matter how many times Fade helped her, Deadlock felt touched to the bottom of her soul, knowing that when they had the most terrible of nightmares, they were there for each other. Their hearts beating side by side made Deadlock feel whole, feel human again, and the pain eased until she could finally slip back into sleep, a small smile curling at her lips.