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Throughout the twenty-something years Bruce has had children, there's been times were he genuinely considered un-adopting/disowning half, if not all of them. (Except Cassandra, never Cassandra.)
Like the time that Jason somehow "accidentally" set the bat-mobile on fire after being told, that no, you cant drive to Smallville to hang out with Tim and Conner, even though you technically have a license, because you're still legally dead and will get pulled over because you drive like a psychopath. And later, with the help of Duke and Stephanie, painted every one of his spare suits neon pink and yellow.
(Bruce then spent the next week washing the same suit every night while Alfred worked to get the paint out, with minor help from Kate when she'd come for dinner. And they did end up fixing the whole "legally dead," thing.)
Or when Damian and Jason snuck into the watchtower after being taken by the League of Assassins, and, still dressed in the LoA uniforms they'd used to get out, caused the Justice League members present to panic and attack.
Until Clark and Oliver arrived and nearly popped a lung laughing at Jason's domino clad pout that he'd been restrained in Diana's lasso.
That had been an interesting phone call, to say the least. Between Oliver's laughter, Clark's occasional wheeze as he'd try to explain, and Damian's feral like shouting in several languages Bruce had barely understood anything.
(The two of them were grounded (getting round holds no age limits, Alfred has grounded Bruce plenty of times) with two weeks of no patrolling and none of Alfred's baking either.)
Or when Steph and Tim bribed Clark to release an article tilted "Bruce Wayne and Batman are married?" And Bruce had to go public to announce that he wasn't dating Batman and was in fact engaged, to whom remained undisclosed, and then as Batman to state he had never even interacted with Bruce Wayne.
(Clark vowed to never again accept bribery from anyone Bruce would even consider adopting, seeing as somehow he was reduced to watchtower duty by Bruce a day after the article was published.)
Although it's not always like that, granted all except one of his children are essentially lords of chaos. Most of the time it's peaceful, if only because the only ones who still actively live in the manor are Damian, Cas, and Duke.
Although, even with their own apartments out of Gotham, Dick, Jason, Tim, and Steph end up somehow sleeping in their respective rooms most nights. Kate, Harper and Cullen, although rare, but not unwelcome, sometimes win up at the manor as well.
The manor is almost never empty these days, and Bruce would never admit it, but he prefers it this way. Alive with the laughter of his family.
It's come to the point where Bruce takes a walk every night, checking all the occupied rooms and standing for a second, just to make sure every one of his children present are safe and breathing. Then he'll go down to the cave, check the trackers in the phones of those not at the manor to make sure they're safe too, and only then he'll go up to his own room. He's even started to noticed a pattern to the impromptu sleepovers.
Dick only sleeps at the manor every Friday and Saturday, and if Wally is accompanying him he'll stay an extra day.
Tim stays every Monday, Thursday and Friday, but only brings Conner on Saturdays or Sundays.
Steph stays every Tuesday and Friday, and if her busy college schedule allows she'll stay on Wednesdays too.
Kate only stays on Fridays, too busy with her actual job to stay much more.
Harper and Cullen normally sleep over once every couple Fridays, but sometimes they'll be persuaded by dessert and a movie to stay longer.
Now Jason, Jason is the interesting part.
For the longest time he'd sleep at the manor on Fridays, Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays, at times even everyday, hurrying to leave after Alfred would force breakfast in him. Like he had somewhere really important to be. And while he had announced almost a year ago he was seeing someone, he'd never once brought them to the manor.
Which was fine, he didn't have to, and it was less work for Alfred, who already cooked 2 meals a day for a number of people ranging anywhere from 3 to 20. (not as if he didn't love his exceptionally large family.)
But lately Jason's schedule had changed. And Bruce wouldn't have worried about it much, had Jason not dropped off the literal face of the earth–including both Barbra's scanners and somehow even the Kent's super-hearing–for two weeks, and then showed up for Friday Family Dinner like nothing happened.
There'd been some yelling from Damian and Tim, a lot of tears from Dick and also Tim, and many, many long hugs. The longest from Bruce and Alfred, as Jason explained, muffled by Bruce's chest, that something had come up and he'd lost track of how long he hadn't checked in.
Before, Jason was at the manor almost more than the people who actually lived there, but now he rivaled Kate in just how much he was almost never there.
Only showing up for Family dinner and the somewhat mandatory sleepover that followed, and maybe once a week.
And each time he came the twenty-two year old looked more and more tired. When asked he'd make an offhand comment about insomnia or working a case late, but they could all tell there was something deeper going on.
This went on for a month before Bruce planned to step in, concern increasing when Jason was the first to arrive on Friday, looking disheveled and small in baggy black sweatpants and a hoodie with the sleeves cut off.
"Master Jason," Alfred patted the boy's shoulder as he passed, beelining straight for Bruce, surprisingly. Jason hummed, scrubbing a hand over his eyes and dropping onto the couch next to Bruce. They sit in silence for a minute or two, Jason clearly wanting to say something, but instead he folds himself into a ball and nudges his head onto Bruce's lap.
"Jay?" A muffled grunt is all he gets as his son burrows his head further into Bruce's hip, wrapping his arms around his torso.
Bruce places his book off to the side and gently rubs up and down Jason's back. "Would you like to talk or just sit?"
It takes a minute, but he hears a watery "Habla tú," and starts to quietly retell what happened at Damian's parent-student-teacher conference.
Eventually Jason mumbles something, clutching Bruce's shirt tighter, he'd have to get up soon, people would be getting here in about an hour and he didn't want to be questioned. "What?" Bruce murmurs back, leaning down to hear better.
"Lo siento," Jason pulls away a little, eyes rimmed red and sniffling. Bruce's heart cracks a little, his second son was never one to be open with his emotions and affection. So seeing him vulnerable never ceased to remind him of how close he'd come to not having this kind of relationship with Jason.
"You've nothing to be sorry for, sometimes we all need a good cry or hug, even me," Bruce smiles softly, patting Jason's side.
"Jason!" Suddenly Tim comes running into the room, vaulting over the back of the couch to wrap his limbs around his brother like an octopus. He'd been on an off world mission with Conner and Clark the past week, and had missed his siblings.
"Timbo! How was space?" Jason chuckles, readjusting his legs and draping an arm across Tim's shoulders as the kid rambles.
Sometime during Tim's recount of crazy aliens and space, Damian and Jon had silently joined them. Damian was sitting on the arm of the couch, curled up like a cat with a book and his head resting on Bruce's shoulder. While Jon lay on his stomach behind him on the back of the couch, dozing as Damian reads aloud in low tones.
And as more time passes with the five of them peacefully enjoying each others presence, more people join the already filled couch.
Dick sits at the end of the couch, opposite Bruce, legs intertwined with Jason's and Tim's, with Wally perched behind him on the arm.
Duke is sprawled in front of the couch, leaning against Bruce's legs and messing with his phone.
Cass somehow manages to squeeze in the space between Bruce and the arm of the couch Damian is on. Her head settled on his knobby teenage knees as he reads slightly louder for her to hear, with her legs thrown atop Jason's back.
And then Steph comes in, snorts loudly, and sits in the small opening behind Tim's knees, legs propped on top of Dick, Tim and Jason's entwined legs.
It's quite the sight, as Kate, Harper and Barbra are sure to let them know when they arrive, wheezing with laughter as they take pictures.
From a doorway off to the side stands Alfred, smiling a bittersweet smile at the sight of Bruce, the one person close enough to be a son, so happy. He's quite displeased to interrupt them, but dinner is ready. So Alfred clears his throat lightly, startling Wally and Jon, who'd both almost been asleep, right off the couch and to the floor.
"Dinner?" Steph asks, perking up at the thought of food. Alfred nods, parroting her, and unleashing chaos as 6 hungry young adults wrestle and sprint to the table. Leaving behind a fondly amused Damian, Cass and four adults
Dinner goes as it always does, lighthearted teasing and bickering, praise and an ungodly amount of "Alfred, you deserve everything"'s as they eat. There's even stupid contests like "Who can chug their drink faster" or "Who can make Damian smile first" (A game which Jon will always win.)
Afterwards, when everyone is back in the lounge, deep in a discussion of whether they should watch Nimona or Warm Bodies, the doorbell rings and Jason jumps to answer it before Alfred.
"No seriously Alf, you work to hard, let me get the door and you sit down and be the tie-breaker, I'll be right back!" Jason grins, pushing Alfred to sit next to Dick and all but sprints out of the room.
"Uhhh," Duke looks at the others, who are also thinking the same thing based on their expressions.
Who could be at the door that's so important that Jason "Can someone get the the remote, I'm dying again," Todd, wants to get it?
It's silent after that, anticipation of who the newest guest is running high. Out of nowhere Jon gasps, turning to Dick and muttering something in his ear. Wally and Damian crowd Dick's space, trying to hear as well and when they all pull away it takes about three seconds before the older boys burst into laughter.
"Hey, mind sharing with the class whats so funny?" Tim throws a pillow at the two, still laughing and blubbering something about "the signs."
"No they don't," Jason answers for them, appearing in a different doorway–this one directly in front of everyone–than the one he'd left from, arms crossed as he glances warily at the two.
Dick calms down a little, but Wally's still roaring with laughter, and brings his eyes to Jason's, resorting to shaky sign language.
'It was so obvious! Oh my god I should've know!'
"Aye coño , shut it Dickface," Jason sighs, scrubing a hand down his face.
"Who's behind you?" Damian questions, trying to look farther into the doorway. It's then Bruce notices the extra pair of shoes standing behind Jason's, and the slight shadowy figure standing just that much taller than him.
"I know you all remember when I mentioned that I was seeing someone, and know that I've never brought him here," Him. Him. Everyone's eyes widened a little at that, never once had Jason specified a gender when talking about his partner, always "My partner" or "Mi corazón."
"But there's been a...rather big development and we decided it was time to finally tell you guys," Jason radiated pride, he was all smiles as he stepped aside, letting the figure behind him come forward. "So, I introduce you to my husband Roy, and our daughter, Lian."
Everything was dead silent as everyone processed what they'd heard, and what they were seeing.
There was Jason, who'd probably never look so proud, tightly gripping the hand of Roy Harper, who was holding a baby wrapped in a pale yellow blanket.
Bruce was the first to break, moving to stand in front of the couple, hesitantly holding his hands up towards the baby-his granddaughter. "May I?" He asked, voice quiet and wavering.
"Of course you can hold her, she's your granddaughter," Roy grinned brightly as he deposited Lian into Bruce's arms, adjusting them slightly to support her better before stepping back completely.
Bruce stared and stared. He'd never gotten to experience any of his kids being so little, not even Damian.
Lian was light, so light Bruce feared he'd break her if held too tight, and she seemed to fit perfectly against him as he sat back down. (Dick and Barba sneaking about 80 pictures of Bruce smiling tearily down at Lian.)
He just could stop looking at her.
The world could be falling down around him right now and he wouldn't care, wouldn't even move a muscle in fear of waking her up. The public could find out he's Batman and he'd ask them to reschedule their questions so they wouldn't wake her.
Lian was perfect . Red fuzz just a couple shades darker than Roy's, teeny tiny little (did he say little?) button nose and the chubbiest cheeks Bruce had ever seen on a baby. He brushed a hand over her hair carefully, down her cheek and to her hand, which wrapped around his finger firmly.
But then she opened her eyes, and Bruce lost all ability to breath properly.
"Oh...hello petite étoile," Her eyes were bright green, brighter than Roy's in a way that reminded him of Jason's, and he loved them.
"So I take it she's why you went MIA a couple weeks back?" Tim took his eyes off Bruce and Lian for a second to meet Jason's as he spoke.
"And I'm sorry but did you say husband?" Wally piped up, raising his hand like he was in school.
"Remember that Vegas job I did right before Christmas?" Jason face-palmed, and waited for his siblings to start.
"You didn't," Steph squawked in betrayal, while Dick and Wally were back to laughter, joined this time by everyone else. Alfred gave a few hidden chuckles next to Bruce, and Damian even cracked a smile.
"In our defense the perp at the time had been very stressful," Logically he knew there was no way to defend himself for this, but he'd still try.
"Oh I'm sure, so stressful that you decided to get married?" Barbra studied him as she shook with snickers.
"We were drunk!" Jason throws his arms out, crossing them again when it only causes his family to laugh harder.
"Didn't West accompany you? Since the "perp" had speed as well?" Damian inquires, once they all calm down.
"Did I?" Wally scratches his head, racking his brain for the memories.
"You did, but we, uh borrowed Barry's drunk serum, as per your request because you wanted to celebrate," Roy smirked as Wally slowly paled in remembrance.
"So you were white-girl-wasted," Duke, ever the little shit, concludes, and everyone turns back to Jason for confirmation.
Jason sighs, knowing he'll set them off again but answers anyways. "We were white-girl-wasted," and everyone's back to laughing.
When they've calmed down again, Tim asks his question again. "So you went AWOL because of her right?"
"Yeah, uh, well. You wanna explain it?" If he was being honest Jason still didn't remember all the details of how him and Roy acquired Lian, just that she was theirs and that's what mattered.
Roy nodded, moving to sit in one of the chairs facing everyone, and started to retell everything that had happened in the past month.
Lian had been a surprise. Roy knew that Will was still sort of involved with Jade, but later found out "sorta involved" meant they were having a baby.
In any case, Will had still been trying to get his shit together, and had never really wanted kids. So when Jade told him she was pregnant he made the--albeit douchebaggy--choice to disappear. Gone, no clues, nothing but an "Im sorry," note and a yellow baby blanket.
And Jade wasn't a fool, she knew she could never raise a child with the life she led, it wouldn't be safe. So she went to the only other person she could think of while being days away from giving birth; Roy Harper.
She showed up at Roy's house, Jason happened to be over, and asked if he'd be willing to take the baby when it was born. The conversation was later cut short due to the fact that Jade went into labor that night, and 36 hours later, at 8:08 am on August 17th Lian was born.
Jade had insisted Jason sign the birth certificate instead of her, assuming that it'd make it easier for them to legally have Jason be Lian's second parent.
They agreed, and Jade, after some tears, vanished as soon as they'd been able to take Lian home.
But, giving into anxiety and slight paranoia, they ended up going to one of Roy's, rather Will's, safe houses in Star city. Super hearing, xray vision and even Barbra proofed to the max, which they didn't initially know about.
They'd spent two weeks there before Jason realized he'd gone complete radio silence on his family and panicked, rushing over to Gotham just in time for Friday Family dinner.
And despite Roy's initial wishes, Lian was not a quiet baby, at least at night. She didn't cry a lot during the day, and took a quick liking to napping in the sun with Jason. But when nighttime rolled around, Lian decided she was mad, and it was everyone's problem.
Which in turn, led to Jason looking more and more tired every Friday, and spending less time at the manor.
And it also led to a very, very important decision he still needed to share.
"Wow," Duke opened and close his mouth a few times, before nodding like his statement made all the sense.
"I'm just surprised Jason is the first to have a kid," Harper chimed in, getting a couple nods of agreement.
"For sure, I always thought it'd be Dick, since he got engaged at 18 and married at 21," Babs snickered, descending into full belly laughs at the squawk of indignation Dick and Wally simultaneously let out.
"At least I was conscious of my decision! Unlike Jason! And at least I didn't shove Wally out of my bedroom window four times!" Dick, deciding that he shouldn't be the only one under fire, drags Tim into this. Because of course no one's going to let him live down the 4 times he's shoved Conner out of his window in a panic because Bruce came home early from a trip or event.
"Central City, 3 years ago," Jason and Tim deadpanned, staring at their older brother unimpressed. Immediately Dick pales and shrinks down in his seat, muttering an "I'll tell you later," to his baby brother when Damian questions him.
Damian slides in next to Bruce, Alfred having long since gotten up to grab some tea, and timidly locks eyes with Jason, and then Roy. "May I?" Parroting his father's earlier words.
Roy melts a little, Damian having always tugged at his heart strings, and nods, glancing up at Jason to see a dopey smile and watery eyes.
"Father?" Damian rests a hand on Bruce's arm, Jon clambers onto the cushions next to him, and gestures to Lian. "May I hold her?"
Bruce blinks, he forgot about everyone else for a second, and clears his throat lightly. "Of course,"
He gently settled Lian into the crook of Damian's arm, her little legs resting in his cross legs. After he goes about correcting Damian's arms as Roy had done for him, he finally turns to face the rest of his family.
Dick and Babs again snuck some pictures, and Tim even. Although his was a zoomed in picture of Damian and Jon with their heads bent close and turned towards each other, the latter with a look of pure adoration aimed not at Lian but most definitely at Damian, who's smile was toothy and bright. (that he definitely sent to Conner.)
"You ok there B?" Jason smirks at him, and his slightly tear stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.
"I-" Bruce shook his head, instead marching to crush his son in a hug. "I'm happy for you, petite aile," And now Jason's tearing up.
"Thanks, dad," And then Bruce is pulling back and smiling at him oh, so brightly and Jason's heart clenches.
"There is one more thing though," He takes a deep breath, and steps out of his father's bubble, gearing himself up.
"What's up lil wing?" Dick barely looks at him as he speaks, mesmerized by Lian in Wally's arms.
"Until Lian's a bit older, I'm gonna be stepping down from Red Hood for a while, at least being physically in the field, unless it's an emergency. I'll still go over case files and stuff like that, but..." Jason trails off, glancing around but ultimately deciding to stare at the ceiling instead.
"But you're needed elsewhere at the moment, I get it," Dick smiles his crooked smile at him. "You weren't, er, exactly here for it, but I stepped down, for a long time, almost two years." Wally squeezes his shoulder reassuringly.
"Wait what? When, what happened?" Jason's never heard this story before, and apparently neither has Steph, Duke or Damian, because they all look over at Dick questioningly.
"Maybe like, 3 or so months after I got back from Tamaran, after Ethiopia, Wally and Barry had this guy come out of nowhere. With this tech that could stop their sped up metabolism, ergo their fast healing," Wally squirmed, cracking his spine and pressing lightly on his lower back.
"Barry was ok, few broken ribs, arm and a concussion. But he fucked up Wally, broke his legs, messed with his spine, almost paralyzed him, and after losing you it just...put it in place for me. How much undetermined time we have. So I took a break, worked in a library and got married, got a dog," Dick stands, throwing an arm around Jason's shoulders.
"Dick-"
"All I'm saying is I get it squirt, and I'm here. Also currently on "light duty" because of my shoulder so call me if your bored," Dick claps a hand onto his chest, pulling him into a hug before grabbing Lian back from Barbra and sitting down again.
Everyone chimes in with their support and requests for Lian to be brought to family dinner all the time, everyone except Bruce.
"Bruce?" Jason asks warily, Bruce is just standing there, looking lost in thought.
"I'm here petite aile, and take as long as you need, especially if its for something as good as baby girl here," Bruce ruffles his hair a bit, and whirls around to steal his granddaughter from Dick, ignoring his whines as he sits down once more.
Jason pushes Damian over, which shoves the boy into Jon who's ears turn red, and leans over to peer at his daughter.
Steph starts the movie, somehow they'd chosen Nimona, and for the next hour or so the 12 of them argue over who gets Lian next and for how long.
There's been times Bruce had genuinely considered un-adopting/disowning half, if not all, of his children. (Except Cassandra, never Cassandra.)
Like the times Jason "accidentally" forgets the "justice not vengeance/No Killing rule" and smirks when Bruce lectures him about it.
Or the time Barbra had to fix the bat-computer because someone, (cough Tim cough) fell asleep at it and spilled coffee all over the keyboard, twice.
Or the time Damian chased Tim around with his katana because he'd made a comment about Jon being over more than Conner.
But there's also times where he couldn't be happier to have what he does.
A family, that's so dysfunctionally functional it's actually funny, that would do anything for each other. And opportunities like this, getting to meet his first grandchild, or walking someone down an isle, never fail to make him appreciate how things are so far from what could've been.
So sitting on a couch, his granddaughter in his arms, family around him and a cartoon movie in the background, Bruce thinks about how the good, mostly out-ways the bad.
(And also how he can't wait to brag to Oliver about being the first to meet Lian.)