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Somehow, they had managed to avoid each other for the last five weeks. It had felt like months, years even. It was a conscious decision on both parts, knowing that if they so much as glanced at each other again they would fall apart.
Eve had been coping the only way she knew how, drinking to excess and bedding anyone who’d have her. But the reality always hit the next day. Jen, Jan, whoever.. they would never satisfy her in the same way Suki could.
Suki had been humouring Nish and Vinny as much as possible. But it was becoming unbearable. It was easier in the past, to put on a smile and pretend everything was normal. But now she’d had a glimpse at freedom, true freedom as the person she now knew she was, she didn’t know how to fully bury those feelings back inside of her.
And now, to add insult to injury, Suki was faced with two weeks trapped on a cruise with Nish. He had boasted for days about how much effort was put into the planning, what a good opportunity this was for them to “get back on track”. Like they were ever on track in the first place. Vinny was just as insufferable, encouraging her that this was a good thing. As if she hadn’t explicitly told him she was afraid of his father, that she couldn’t live this life anymore.
It scared her how much Vinny was morphing into Nish. That he couldn’t understand the magnitude of his ultimatum. She longed for Kheerat to be home, to help her navigate this situation properly. For now, she would just have to hide behind the mask, until she could find a plausible way out.
-
Kathy and Rocky overheard the conversation. Vinny reiterating just how much of a good thing this holiday would be for his parents. Kathy couldn’t help but feel enraged. This was her honeymoon. She couldn’t just let this slide.
As Suki stood up to leave the cafe, Kathy couldn’t help herself. “Your husband didn’t buy the trip to prove how much he loves ya. He won it in a poker game. It’s OUR honeymoon.”
Suki couldn’t explain the way she felt. Embarrassed? Humiliated? Hurt? All of those things realistically. But in equal measure, she was relieved. One way or another, she would use this knowledge to her advantage.
Suki returned to the Minute Mart. Her head was all over the place. Nish had once again made her feel small. Just as Eve always said he would. Her thoughts always came back to Eve. She tried to push her to the back of her mind, as a way to survive, but she always filtered back in. She missed everything about her, about them. Her point still stood, that the one thing she was sure about was that she loved Eve. She couldn’t imagine ever stopping loving her. As she reminisced in her mind, letting out a sigh of sadness, the door bell rang. She couldn’t help but hope to look up and see Eve, but instead, Kathy walked in, plonking down a bottle of wine on the counter alongside two cardboard cups.
“Suki, tell me I’m wrong but it looked to me like you could’ve done with a listening ear earlier. Look, talk, don’t talk, it’s up to you. But I couldn’t just stand by and watch you being lied to.”
Suki was shocked at the consideration being shown to her. She wasn’t used to kindness when it came to people on the square.
Kathy continued, “Look I do know how you feel you know. And us women, we should stick together. I mean, it’s them who’s in the wrong.. the gambling, the lies. We’re the victims here.”
“Is that how you see yourself, a victim?” Suki retorted. It wasn’t a word she liked to think of in regards to herself.
“Yeah, but one who fights back.” Kathy shot her a determined look. Suki admired her confidence. Wine in a cardboard cup wasn’t really her style, nor ranting about men. But she was grateful for Kathy being here.
Suki opened the wine and passed a glass to Kathy, locking the Minute Mart door.
“So, what now?” Kathy asked.
“We play them at their own game.” Suki responded, raising an eyebrow.
They spent the next twenty minutes concocting a plan. Another poker game, but this time the outcome was predetermined. Suki confided slightly in Kathy, letting her know she wasn’t particularly thrilled to be going away with Nish in the first place. Whilst she wanted to, Kathy didn’t pry. She knew Suki well enough to know she wasn’t one for oversharing. But she was thankful that Suki was on her side in this, and obviously ecstatic to know she’d be drinking wine in Greece this time tomorrow.
They met in the Vic at 5pm as planned. George offered to deal which they happily accepted. They did a couple of hands to make the game seem legitimate, a few hundred pounds spent. They were actually enjoying themselves if they were honest, joking around and sharing quick anecdotes between games. Suki started to wonder if this was a friendship she could actually pursue. And then in walked Nish, quickly followed by Rocky. Both shocked to see the events unfolding in front of them.
As planned, the honeymoon was on the table and with one quick eyebrow raise from Suki, Kathy was all in and the holiday was reclaimed. Suki’s heart swelled a little at the grateful look Kathy gave her as she left. Maybe they really could be friends. The nice thought swiftly left her mind as Nish started to berate her for losing their “shot at a fresh start”. What a delusional man, she thought.
She ordered herself another brandy once Nish had left in a sulk. And then another. And then another.
All this talk of fresh starts only made her dwell on the fact she couldn’t have the start she wanted. A life with Eve. Freedom. She thought back to all their trips to Leeds. How it was a complete escape for them both. Free to love each other completely. Both sexually and emotionally. How everything had come so naturally to them when they were alone together. Suki had never felt so safe to express herself freely. As she took another sip, she let her mind wander once again.
-
After Martin's meltdown, Eve needed a drink. She headed towards the Vic, pushing through the door and walking straight up to the bar. She hadn’t noticed her at first. She picked up her pint and swung her body round, and instantly their eyes locked.
Eve noted that Suki looked a little tipsier than she’d seen her before. Sure, they had drinks in Leeds, but usually they couldn’t get past one or two without wanting to head back to their room and devour each other.
“You OK?” Eve asked genuinely, with her signature lopsided smile.
“I’m fine.” Suki slightly slurred.
Despite her better judgement, Eve sat down beside her. “I know you, you’re not fine. Obviously I can relate” Eve said with a frown, “but is it something else?” she asked sincerely.
“I can’t do this anymore, Eve.” Suki whimpered. “I just can’t.”
Suki rushed to her feet and headed to the bathroom. Being in such close proximity of Eve was too much. She opened the door and placed both hands on the sink, breathing heavily. She looked at herself in the mirror, realising she was in fact a little drunk. How many brandys had she had, 4? 5? No wonder she was struggling to contain her emotions. The door swung open and she didn’t even have to look. She knew instantly.
“Eve, please.” Suki pleaded.
“I just want to make sure you’re alright. It’s not like you to be drowning your sorrows. That’s more my style.” Eve smirked slightly.
“Your style is bringing home random women, no? Better than me, was she?” Suki definitely was drunk.
Eve grabbed Suki's hand and spun her around gently, slowly caressing her fingers.
“Vinny.” Eve sighed.
“Yes, Vinny. Couldn’t wait to tell me how the woman I love clearly didn’t love me the way I thought. Really driving home the fact I was about to leave my family for someone who could get over me within a day. So, yeah. You can just leave me alone.” Suki swayed a little, the brandy really taking its effect now.
Eve noticed she seemed a little unsteady and instinctively put both her hands on Suki's waist, keeping her still. This was the closest they had been for what felt like forever.
“Suki. I had just had my heart ripped out of my chest by you. I was literally inconsolable. I drank and drank and drank and in the moment, a one night stand felt like the right thing to do. To alleviate the pain, tell myself I’d be alright in the future. But in reality, it just made me realise my life is never going to be the same again, not without you in it” Eve choked.
Suki felt her tears building, but she couldn’t let them fall. Instead, she squeezed Eve’s hand and tried to lighten the mood a little. “You didn’t answer my question. Was she better than me?” Her eyebrow raised.
Eve let out a little laugh, smirking. “Well she didn’t make me beg for it, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“How vanilla.” Suki giggled and stumbled a little again. This time she was the one to hold on to Eve for stability, choosing the back of her neck to keep her grounded.
Suki pulled her closer slowly. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this. It would only increase the heartache for them both in the long run. But she couldn’t resist. As their lips drew closer, Eve moved a hand from Suki's waist to her chest, pushing her back gently.
"You’ve had a bit to drink, I don’t want to take advantage.” Eve said soberly. Suki removed the hand from her chest and instead intertwined their fingers.
“Can we just have this one moment, please?” Suki pleaded. Eve knew this was a bad idea. It was going to prolong the healing. But. Suki was here. Wanting to kiss her again. She also couldn’t resist.
Eve started to walk Suki backwards towards the cubicle. Eve knew that while Suki may be tipsy, she wouldn’t want to risk being caught. She locked the door behind her and turned to face her lover. “Just this once” Eve whispered. Suki put both hands around Eve’s neck desperately, pulling her in for the most passionate kiss they had possibly yet experienced. It was hot, obviously, but equally layered with so much emotion. They had missed each other immensely.
Neither of them knew how long they had continued the kiss for, both lost in each other. But eventually, Eve was the one to pull away.
“I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry.” Suki said slowly, with sadness in her eyes. She suddenly felt completely sober.
“I know.” Eve responded, knowing this wouldn’t happen again.