Work Text:
< 1 >
Dazai
“And therefore, you’ll be sent together! Again! Good luck!”
Atsushi’s mentor, the one and only Dazai Osamu, grins widely and shoots him a wink. Just before he was given the mission, Dazai had asked him if he needed any help regarding a certain angry mafioso. Atsushi had given him the most deadpan stare possible and asked him what he meant, to which he replied:
“Oh, come on! I’ve been setting you two up for a year now! Have you made no progress?”
Atsushi sighs. “Dazai-san, don’t give me that look. There’s nothing going on between us.”
“But he’s always threatening to kill you and calling you stupid names. How can there be nothing?”
“Not everyone’s romantic life operates the way yours and Nakahara-san’s do. Respectfully, I’d rather not.”
From the other end of the table, Kunikida snorts.
“Atsushi-kun, I hope you know that I’m deeply hurt. I’m trying to help you get some. Although, your taste is quite questionable. Personally, I don’t see the appeal in emotionally constipated, gothic mafia men.”
Atsushi bangs his head on the table. For dramatic effect.
There’s a sudden crashing noise from outside. Atsushi turns around and nearly falls out of his seat when he makes eye contact with a familiar pair of dark eyes.
“What the fuck,” he hears Kunikida curse, and for good measure. Akutagawa is knocking on the Agency office’s window, using Rashōmon to lift himself from the ground to the height of the fourth storey. He looks like a demon.
Akutagawa knocks harder, an impatient frown on his face, shocking Atsushi back into action. He moves to open the window and musters up the most furious glare he can.
“Akutagawa. Why are you terrorising our street? Can’t you use the lift like a normal person?”
The mafioso shrugs, unbothered. “That would take more time, reducing efficiency. I’ve been informed about our joint mission. We must go now.”
“What—no! Our mission is during nightfall! It’s—” he glances at the wall clock— “five in the afternoon! You’re too early.”
“Oh, my,” Dazai’s voice cuts in. Atsushi thinks the hair on his neck visibly stood up. If his tiger tail was out, he’d have trouble forcing it down too. “Seems like Akutagawa-kun’s too excited for the mission. Well! You two could spend some quality bonding time together anyway. It’s a wonderful opportunity!”
“You’re just trying to set us up again,” Atsushi hisses. Dazai holds his hands up.
“But you two would just work so well together—”
“I’d rather go through the painstaking process of cutting off all my toes individually with a butter knife, and eat them one by one, than be involved with the weretiger in any sort of romantic way,” Akutagawa says with a scowl. He must’ve been able to hear them from outside.
“That’s morbid,” Atsushi mutters. “But the feeling’s mutual.”
“Shut up, Weretiger. You’re wasting my time. Let’s go.”
Atsushi huffs, pushing his files to the side. He’ll organise them later. He grabs his sling bag from under his desk and gives Kunikida a questioning look. The tired man sighs, waving at him. “Go. Be careful.”
Dazai pouts. Atsushi ignores him and heads for the open window. With Rashōmon, Akutagawa wraps a tendril around Atsushi’s waist, dragging them down to the ground floor. “We don’t have all day. Let’s go.”
“So pushy,” Atsushi mutters, but follows after his partner.
Akutagawa walks with his back facing him, cloak billowing with every step he takes. They walk quickly, footsteps pattering on concrete together, until they’re quite a distance from the Agency. When he deems it safe, in an area that Atsushi knows the Mafia frequents, Akutagawa stops and turns slightly, a light smile dancing on his lips.
Atsushi breaks into a wider grin, dashing forward to grab his hand. He presses a soft kiss on Akutagawa’s cheek, laughing at the blush he receives in return. “Hi.”
“Hi yourself,” Akutagawa mumbles, squeezing his hand softly. “Dazai-san trying to convince you again?”
“Yeah. I told him I’d rather kiss a wet snail than hold your hand.”
Akutagawa laughs, and it sounds like music. “Creative. No one suspects anything yet?”
“As far as I can tell, nope. Ranpo-san might. I’m not keen on finding out.”
“Oh well.” Akutagawa pauses, searching his pockets. He takes out his phone to glance at the time, then back at Atsushi. “Since it’s early, shall I take you out for dinner?”
Atsushi feels his heart grow. “Is that why you came by so early?”
“I must be efficient.”
He rolls his eyes, a fond laugh leaving him. “Sure. I’d love to. Lead the way!”
Akutagawa tugs on his hand excitedly, dragging Atsushi with him. Atsushi isn’t complaining.
They’ve been dating for a month now, and Atsushi’s never been happier. It started right after one of their missions, where Akutagawa had gotten shot in the abdomen after protecting him and was bleeding out in Atsushi’s arms. He refused to go to Yosano despite Atsushi’s protests, so Atsushi had taken him home and patched him up as best as he could himself. Gin wasn’t home to help and Atsushi’s medical knowledge was amateur at best—it’s a wonder Akutagawa didn’t infect his wound.
When Atsushi was done bandaging him and in the middle of scolding his stupid, reckless partner for taking a harmless (to him) bullet, Akutagawa made an even more reckless decision and kissed Atsushi right there and then. In the middle of his dim apartment. On the floor. To ‘shut him up’.
It worked, and they’re dating now, but Atsushi still scolds him for it sometimes. Akutagawa makes up for him by feeding him chazuke every week, so he forgives him somewhat.
They stop at a restaurant Atsushi doesn’t recognise. Due to the nature of Akutagawa’s job, they can only hangout at places mafia-owned or places that haven’t heard of him, which was… rare. His boyfriend’s rather infamous. Although things have calmed down and the mafia and agency have somewhat of a peace treaty going on, Akutagawa’s still a wanted criminal. So.
The restaurant is extremely high-class, enough so that Atsushi wonders if he should’ve brought a suit. Akutagawa beckons for him to come closer, then reaches out to fix his tie for him.
“You look shabby,” he tells him teasingly. Atsushi huffs.
“Sorry, I didn’t expect my rich boyfriend to drag me to a place that I can’t afford today. Forgive my appearances.”
Akutagawa chuckles. “I will.” He presses a kiss to his forehead that has him melting.
They eat dinner, finish their mission with zero problems, and Akutagawa walks Atsushi home at the end of the night, when everyone’s asleep and the moon hangs high. As always.
< 2 >
Black Lizard
Akutagawa feels his lips twitch when he sees a notification on his phone from the contact ‘Weretiger’. He glances up, seeing that the others are focused on the intense game of Monopoly, and deems it safe to open up his phone.
Weretiger:
> do you think ants have feelings
Akutagawa just has to roll his eyes.
Akutagawa:
No I do not. <
Why are you asking me such a foolish question? <
Weretiger:
> but kenji-kun just told me that if i killed the ant crawling on my desk their family will come at haunt me out of spite
> and i’m a bit unnerved
> i didn’t know they could harbour such intense feelings
Akutagawa:
I can’t believe I like you. <
Sorry, hold on. <
“Who are you texting?” Tachihara asks, leaning over. Akutagawa shoves him away.
“None of your business.”
“Yes it is. Cause it’s your turn.”
Akutagawa looks at the board. He’s pretty sure he had a property on the square that Gin’s piece is sitting on right now. He checks his cards, surprised that he can’t find it. He looks at his sister, who doesn’t catch his eye.
“Did you eat my property,” he states.
She shakes her head. Akutagawa swears he sees her swallow something.
“Whatever,” he grumbles, rolling the dice. His phone buzzes in his lap.
He makes his move and has to pay Hirotsu rent, much to his displeasure. Maybe he should eat pieces when the others aren’t looking.
Tachihara takes his turn next, so Akutagawa goes back to his phone, seeing new messages from his boyfriend.
Weretiger:
> oh! it’s game night for you again
> i hope you’re losing <3
Akutagawa:
Shut the fuck up. <
Gin’s eating my property. <
Weretiger:
> i support her
Akutagawa:
You are the worst boyfriend ever. <
Weretiger:
> at least i didn’t tear my boyfriend’s leg off
> twice!!
Akutagawa:
Fuck you. <
I hope ants bite you in your sleep. <
Weretiger:
> i’d rather you bite me instead
Akutagawa’s face burns. He hates him. Anyone who thinks Atsushi is an innocent sweetheart is dead wrong, and he’s mad that he can’t prove it.
“Ryuu’s texting his boyfriend again,” Gin drawls. Akutagawa curses his pale skin and glares at her.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“But you so wish he was.”
Tachihara snickers. Hirotsu, who has been deathly quiet for majority of the game, reaches over the board and pats Akutagawa’s shoulder condescendingly. “Perhaps you should be nicer to the tiger boy. Then he’d be romanced.”
“I’m not trying to romance him!” he hisses.
“Uh huh,” the three chorus. Akutagawa hates them.
Inside, though, he secretly preens. He’s glad they’re doing a good job hiding this from everybody. He doesn’t want Atsushi to face backlash for dating someone with as violent of a history as his. And he’s glad the people around him aren’t disapproving. If they’re cheering on his so-called crush on Atsushi, then surely they’d be fine with them dating.
But he won’t tell them yet. Not until he and Atsushi know it’s safe.
For now, he tells them that he does not have a crush on the stupid weretiger and that they should drop it. They don’t, of course, because they’re all menaces. Even Hirotsu, who’s prim and proper most of the time, teases him mercilessly.
“You talk about him so much my ears bleed when I hear the word weretiger,” Tachihara says.
“It’s embarrassing,” adds Gin.
“Back in my day, flirting wasn’t so violent.”
“I am not flirting with him!” Akutagawa snatches his money from Hirotsu aggressively. Sweet revenge. “And I have no intention to do so.”
“Dude. I mean, it’s obvious the tiger boy has a crush on you too. You’re just sending too many mixed signals for him to do anything about it,” Tachihara says.
Oh, if only they knew. “…What?”
“I mean! He’s always texting you, isn’t he? It can’t always be about work.”
“And,” Gin adds, “he smiles a lot when he’s with you. Even when you’re arguing, he looks like he enjoys it.”
“Weretiger smiles all the time. It’s nothing special,” Akutagawa sniffs. Inside, his heart blooms. “And us together isn’t a good idea, you all know this.”
Hirotsu clears his throat. “Akutagawa-kun. If you’re worried about making a move due to the nature of your jobs, you don’t need to worry. Your personal life and your mafia life are separate.”
Tachihara grins. “You think we have nights like these because we’re colleagues? That’s lame.”
Akutagawa doesn’t show it, but he’s grateful. Grateful for their presence, that they choose to hangout with him outside of work. He’s had friends before—back in the slums where he grew up miserable but not alone. When he joined the mafia, he’d expected to leave feelings of friendship and comfort behind forever. And for a while, it was true.
Until he met Atsushi. Who broke down his walls, slow and steady, and it subsequently led to where he is now.
Gin always stuck by him, of course, but then Higuchi started treating him less like a superior and more like an equal. And Tachihara nudged him more often after missions, even when he was faced with threats of Rashōmon biting his arm off. And Hirotsu started bringing him tea and inviting him for smokes—he had to deny, of course, but the thought counted. And Chuuya would praise him for his improved self, and Kouyou would insist he rest, taking over his missions (rather forcefully, but lovingly), and Akutagawa felt warmth in his life once again.
And he had Atsushi to thank. For seeing the potential in him and striving to bring it out. For making him a better person. For forgiving him.
“…Whatever. I’m still not interested. Also, I want another property. I have a full set now.”
“Fuck you!” Gin shouts, throwing a pillow at him at lightning speed, which he dodges with a concealed grin.
His phone buzzes with a notification, which he checks as soon as Tachihara picks up the dice.
Weretiger:
> hope i didn’t break you
Akutagawa bites the inside of his cheek to keep his face in check.
Akutagawa:
Whatever. <
Come over tomorrow. <
Gin has a mission and won’t be home. <
Weretiger:
> !! okay!!!
> see you <333 (>^ω^<)
Akutagawa:
Ugh. <
<3 <
< 3 >
Yosano
Atsushi finishes the last of his paperwork early at around 3pm. He may or may not have rushed through it, even skipping his lunch break so he could work on it. Kunikida had told him to rest multiple times, but Atsushi refused, saying that he’d like to clock off earlier that day.
He stretched, popping a few joints, taking a quick look around the office to check his surroundings. Kunikida is sitting with Kyouka, leaning over her desk while they discuss something together. Ranpo is eating snacks. Kenji had left a while ago to take care of his farm, though looking at the time, he’s probably taking his usual nap. Tanizaki’s off today, and Dazai’s out on a mission, which leaves…
“Atsushi-kun, are you free?”
Atsushi sees Yosano pop her head out from her clinic, waving at him. Atsushi nods and stands up, not without grabbing his phone and shutting his laptop down. He enters her office and she gestures for him to sit.
“Um, Yosano-sensei, I don’t remember needing a checkup so soon,” he laughs, feeling nervous when she closes the door.
She chuckles. “It’s not a physical checkup, dear. But you turned 18 just last month, right? That means you’ve been overdue for a talk.”
Atsushi tenses. “Um… what talk?”
“The sex talk,” she says seriously. Atsushi immediately feels dread sink into his bones.
“O-oh. Yosano-sensei, I don’t think that’ll be necessary—”
“Even Dazai-kun couldn’t get out of this one, although he was a little older when he joined. I’m afraid it’s unavoidable.” She smiles, but Atsushi knows better than to argue. He slumps in his seat, submitting to his fate.
“Kill me,” he mutters. “Does it have to be today?”
“Do you have somewhere else to be?”
He thinks of Akutagawa’s message yesterday and sends a silent apology. He’s going to be quite late. “No.”
“Alright! Then yes, it’ll be today. Anyway, I’ll have to start with the basic question. Have you had sexual partners before, Atsushi-kun?”
Atsushi wants to sink in a hole. “Not one.”
“Okay, that’s fine. How was the education back at the orphanage?”
“Um, it wasn’t a topic to be breached. I’ve never heard anyone talk about it.”
She sends him a sympathetic smile. “I can imagine. Here, take a look at this diagram…”
For the next hour or so, Yosano tells him about the human body. Atsushi feels a little dizzy at all the new information he was receiving, but he tries his best to keep up and take in what she was saying.
Oh God. Did she know about him and Akutagawa? Is that where this is coming from?
Atsushi shakes his head at himself. It’s because he’s 18 now. There’s no way she could’ve known.
“Also, Atsushi-kun,” Yosano says. “If you do end up having sex with someone in the future, I have to warn you.”
She sounds serious. Atsushi straightens his back. “What is it?”
“Your ability, the tiger, may affect your body in one way or another. It’s just a possibility, but if you experience things that aren’t what I’ve explained, don’t be afraid to talk to me, okay? We can figure it out together.”
“…Are you saying Byakko’s going to affect my anatomy?”
“You can already grow plenty of tiger features at will. It’s nothing to be ashamed about, but it may affect you and your partner, so it’s important to discuss it beforehand,” she explains.
“This is horrifying,” Atsushi mumbles. She laughs, patting his shoulder.
“So, anyone caught your eye recently?”
He freezes. “What?”
“I’m a gossip,” she states. “Just wondering if you have your eyes set on someone. Anyone, really.”
Atsushi’s brain is ringing alarm bells. Does she know?
“Um, not really. I haven’t really thought about it.”
She grins suddenly, looking like a shark. “That’s unfortunate. Mostly everyone at the office thinks you have a crush on a certain mafioso.”
Atsushi groans. He wants to panic, but his need to hide the truth overrides it and somehow, he manages a distasteful expression rather than a guilty one. “That’s just Dazai-san’s influence on all of you. Akutagawa’s my work partner, not anything more.”
Yosano sighs. “I suppose you could be right. But you two would make a good couple.”
“Oh yeah? How so?”
He’s walking a very thin line right now, but Yosano’s words made him perk up. He’d like to know what people think of the prospect of an agency member and a mafia member dating. This is an opportunity.
“You two balance each other out. Personalities, abilities, the way you fight. It’s all complimentary. That’s why Dazai-kun paired you two up, anyway.”
Atsushi pouts. “Just because we work well together? I mean, wouldn’t a relationship with someone like him be bad? Our organisations have a very rough past.”
Yosano hums. “Maybe so. It could be a good thing too, though.”
“…How?”
“We have a truce with the Mafia, remember?” Atsushi nods. “A cross relationship… it’ll be different, but it could strengthen the truce.”
“I guess so…”
“Besides.” She rolls her eyes. “Dazai-kun and Nakahara have something going on. I think that’s common knowledge.”
Atsushi lets out a laugh at that. “I don’t think anyone could break that bond even if they tried.”
She smiles. “Yeah. But my point is, dear, if your jobs are the only thing stopping you from thinking of something more, then don’t let it. It’ll be okay. Nobody can control who you want to love or forgive, for you.”
Atsushi fiddles with his fingers. “I… I think I’ve forgiven Akutagawa a long time ago. I’m not sure about loving him, though.”
Such a liar, he thinks to himself, heart hammering from just thinking about the mafioso. He loves Akutagawa with his whole heart and soul.
“You may go now. Thanks for sitting through this with me.”
“You would’ve pinned me down if I refused,” Atsushi grumbles, but smiles anyway when she pats his head. He leaves her clinic and grabs his things, telling Kunikida that he’ll be leaving.
“What did Yosano-sensei need you for?” Kunikida asks before he leaves.
Atsushi grimaces. “You don’t want to know.”
“He’s eighteen, Kunikida-kun,” Ranpo says from where he’s still snacking.
Kunikida pales. Atsushi wonders if he’s been through the talk too.
“I see. Well, goodbye Atsushi-kun. I hope you’re going to eat your long overdue lunch now.”
Atsushi laughs, shrugging. “Sorry! I will!”
He leaves the office and opens his phone, grinning when he sees messages from his impatient boyfriend, asking when he’s off. Atsushi shoots him a quick reply to tell him that he’s coming over.
He flags down a taxi to bring him closer to where Akutagawa’s apartment is. Not to the exact location, because Atsushi’s paranoid, but close enough that it’s only a five minute walk by the time he’s dropped off. Akutagawa better pay for his transportation.
He finds Akutagawa waiting at the building’s lobby, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed, as always. He opens his eyes before Atsushi can announce his presence, and Atsushi feels his heart skip when he catches the moment his features soften at the sight of him.
Akutagawa brings him up and into his apartment. When the door closes, Rashōmon automatically slips out to wrap around Atsushi’s back, pulling him into a warm hug.
“Sorry I’m late. Yosano-sensei needed to talk to me,” Atsushi whispers, melting into the embrace.
“What did she want to talk about?” Akutagawa asks. His voice is muffled into Atsushi’s hair.
“The sex talk. Um. She thinks I’ll tiger-out if I have sex.”
Akutagawa stiffens at the bluntness before letting out a surprised laugh. “You already tiger-out when I kiss you. She’s probably right.”
“I do not!”
Akutagawa pulls back, a twinkle in his grey eyes. He smirks— why does he look so attractive, this is unfair—and leans in, lips ghosting over Atsushi’s. “I can prove it.”
The moment is broken when Atsushi’s stomach rumbles, much to his displeasure. Akutagawa doesn’t seem to mind, instead laughing again.
He sounds beautiful when he laughs. It’s rough and breathy, almost stilted, as if he’s trying to hold back, and Atsushi would record it and listen to it on repeat if he could. That’s probably weird. Whatever.
“I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” Atsushi complains, shoving his still-laughing boyfriend away. “Leave me alone!”
“I made you something already. It’s in the microwave.”
Atsushi perks up. “You did?”
He follows Akutagawa around his much too luxurious apartment and into the kitchen, and he picks up on the mild scent of green tea. If anything, he perks up even more.
Akutagawa pulls out a bowl of chazuke and Atsushi thinks he might get onto his knees in the middle of the kitchen to thank the heavens that he bagged this man.
“You are the best thing to have ever happened to me,” he says, completely serious. Akutagawa turns away, but Atsushi still catches the flush on his cheeks.
“Shut the fuck up and eat.”
“I would die for you.”
“I said shut the fuck up!”
He giggles, digging into his bowl of chazuke and letting the familiar, comforting taste overwhelm him. The tea’s still hot, and it’s one of those expensive ones that Akutagawa buys, brewed to perfection. Atsushi finishes it in record time.
He goes to wash the bowl but before he can reach the sink, Rashōmon gently plucks it from him and puts it in the sink. Akutagawa grabs his wrist and pulls him to the living room, shoving him onto the couch.
“Impatient,” Atsushi mumbles as Akutagawa climbs onto his lap, sitting prettily. He ignores him and pushes their lips together, effectively silencing him.
“I fed you. Keep quiet,” he says, and Atsushi laughs. He wraps his hands around Akutagawa’s waist, squeezing when Akutagawa kisses him harder.
His kisses are always like this. Almost like a punch, really, with how forceful they are, but Atsushi has no trouble keeping up. He lets Akutagawa push him deeper onto the couch, lets him nip and bite and slide their lips together like it’s a practised dance, and then kisses back twice as hard. Akutagawa slides a hand up Atsushi’s hair and tugs, making him groan.
Akutagawa pulls back and Atsushi chases his lips with a pout. The sight he’s greeted with is ethereal. Akutagawa, cheeks flushed and lips pink with abuse, panting softly. His eyes are dark with desire, intense and dangerous, and Atsushi wants to drown in the storm.
“There they are,” Akutagawa says with a victorious grin, nudging the fluffy ears on his head that Atsushi hadn’t even noticed. He looks so cocky that Atsushi can’t bring himself to feel ashamed. Not when he gets his boyfriend on his lap like this, looking all confident and handsome.
“Whatever,” he says, sliding a hand up to Akutagawa’s neck, feeling him shiver beneath his fingertips. “I have you right where I want, anyway.”
Akutagawa’s eyes widening is the last thing he sees before he slams their lips together again, a moan vibrating out his throat at the harsh bite Akutagawa returns.
< 4 >
Chuuya and Kouyou
Akutagawa walks into Chuuya’s office and promptly wants to walk right back out.
He was expecting many things when he went to talk to the fearsome Mafia executive—Chuuya working feverishly at his desk, maybe. Or barking orders at someone. He even expected a drunk Chuuya, a brand of him that he’s had the unfortunate luck of experiencing too many times.
He didn’t expect to see Kouyou at Chuuya’s desk instead, sipping wine and talking to the ceiling, where Chuuya sits. Legs crossed and everything.
He looks up, eyes stopping briefly at the upside down wine glass in gloved hands, before clearing his throat. The two snap out of their conversation, identical murderous looks on their faces, before they disappear at the sight of Akutagawa.
“Oh, hey,” Chuuya greets, waving. “Want to join us?”
Akutagawa shakes his head. “I don’t drink. What… what are you doing on the ceiling, Chuuya-san?”
“It’s comfortable. Also, Ane-san deserves the chair.”
Kouyou smiles. “I raised you right.”
Akutagawa does not want to know. “…Okay. Um. Boss wants to talk to you, Chuuya-san. It’s a joint mission with the Agency.”
“He can fucking wait,” Chuuya grumbles, taking such a large swig from his glass that Akutagawa wonders how he didn’t choke. “If he paired me up with that idiot Dazai again, I’ll kill him with my bare hands.”
“Temperamental,” Kouyou mutters, but doesn’t say anything more than that. Akutagawa wonders if he should leave now. The two were clearly occupied with their conversation earlier, but now that he’s here, he doesn’t know if—
“Akutagawa. We were just talking about you earlier, you know.”
He looks up to the ceiling. “Oh?”
“Yeah. You seem happier recently.”
Akutagawa thinks that wherever this conversation is going, he should thread very carefully. “…Okay?”
“It’s nice that you’re starting to ease up more. Gin-chan is very happy about it too,” Kouyou states. She smiles, red lips over pearly whites, but Akutagawa feels unnerved.
“I suppose I’ve been more at peace with my life,” he says slowly. There’s a laugh from the ceiling.
“There’s rumours going around that you’ve found yourself someone to settle down with. Who’s the unlucky one?”
Akutagawa scowls. “You’re joking.”
“Personally, I’ve got my bets on the Agency’s tiger boy.”
At this point, there’s not a single person who doesn’t assume they have something going on. Akutagawa blames Chuuya and Dazai’s odd partnership slash romance thing going on. They created a weird standard for partnership that’s indirectly causing everyone to think that Atsushi and Akutagawa are in cahoots too.
They are, but. Not the point.
“I wouldn’t touch the weretiger with a hundred metre pole, if I could help it,” he snarls. His mind flashes to last night and he wills himself not to blush. “I’d never.”
“That’s a shame. Partners to lovers. That would be cute.”
“You already have that with Dazai-san,” Akutagawa points out, unable to bite his tongue in time. The offended shriek that Chuuya lets out is quite amusing.
“With that shitty mackerel?! I’d rather die! Don’t spew those disgusting ideas around me!”
“Didn’t you make him a bento box just this morning? You sent me a picture,” Kouyou says. Chuuya shrieks even louder, if possible.
“Ane-san, I will crush you into pieces if you dare bring that up again.”
“Forgive me,” she chuckles. She turns to Akutagawa, who has begun fiddling with his coat. “Do you like him, Akutagawa-kun?”
He can’t help it. He blushes.
“Aha!” Chuuya cries. “I knew it!”
“I didn’t say anything,” he defends weakly, but as they continue ribbing him, more and more images of his boyfriend fill his head. Atsushi’s smiles when they meet, his agitated voice when they’re messing with each other, his sweet words opposing an arrogant demeanour when they’re alone, unable to keep their hands to themselves…
“…So what?” he eventually grouches. “I won’t do anything about it. It’s not good for the mafia.”
The Executives give him matching looks of disbelief. Akutagawa’s not one to shrink in on himself, but at this moment, he feels rather small.
“Ask him out. Please, we all know you want to,” Chuuya says.
“No!” He turns with enough force that his coat flies out behind him. “Shut up.”
Akutagawa leaves the office hastily, heart beating too fast for him to feel unaffected. He storms to his office, other mafia members smart enough to not get in his way. When he reaches, he shuts the door behind him and sinks onto his chair.
He’s hit with the feeling of want. He wants so badly to stop hiding. To stop feeling like it’s something to be ashamed about, because Atsushi is his light and Akutagawa would never dream of being embarrassed of him. But he knows he can’t say the same for Atsushi. No one would want it to be known that they’re dating someone as cruel and miserable as him.
He feels that being with Atsushi is already going against what the Agency stands for. He’s not a good person and he knows it. He’s the farthest thing from a hero. His job is ugly and violent and not something that Atsushi should have to put up with. Akutagawa can only imagine the backlash he’ll face once word of their relationship gets out.
Sometimes, he gets home at four in the morning, the stench of blood on his coat suffocating his apartment. Or he gets home limping on a broken leg that he forces to heal faster than it should with Rashōmon, and the sickening crack when rearranging his bones is something Akutagawa would not like Atsushi to hear.
The fact that Atsushi even wants him is a difficult concept to grasp. It doesn’t cross his mind often, especially when they’re together—being with Atsushi is like having all the darkness clouding him shoved away and replaced with the warm rays of sunshine—but when he’s alone, it plagues him.
But… he still wants it. Call him selfish—Akutagawa’s always been selfish. He’s spent his whole life grappling with things that slip through his fingers too easily, so when he manages to have something for himself, he’ll hold on tighter than ever. Atsushi’s just the unlucky soul that Akutagawa’s set his heart on.
He wants to be able to bring Atsushi on dates in broad daylight. He wants to spoil him and be dragged to places that normal couples go to, like—like the ferris wheel or a mall or the beach. Atsushi doesn’t say it, but Akutagawa sees his eyes glimpsing at other couples when they’re walking together, heads held low because Akutagawa’s reputation is too hard to ignore. He feels it in the way their fingers brush against each other’s, but never hold until they’re within Mafia territory, because no one else can know. He hears it in the way that Atsushi whispers to him when they’re going home from a mission together, promising him that he’ll tell the world one day.
He knows Atsushi deserves someone better. A normal lover. A kinder one.
His phone vibrates. He takes it out and sees a message from Atsushi.
It’s a photo of a cow—Akutagawa remembers it to be Kenji’s animal—tugging on Kunikida’s ponytail. Again, Akutagawa’s thoughts fade away, replaced with memories of Atsushi’s voice and laugh, and it lights up his heart.
I love him, a soft voice whispers in his mind. The realisation doesn’t stun as much as he thought it might. I want the world to know he’s mine.
He replies to Atsushi and sets his phone down, closing his eyes.
< 5 >
Ranpo
Atsushi regrets agreeing to this.
They’re having a party at the Agency to celebrate their one thousandth case solved. Half of those cases were probably due to Ranpo, but it’s insane to Atsushi that they’ve helped so many people Everyone did their part—Kunikida did most of the planning with the president, Kenji and Kyouka bought the snacks, Tanizaki and Yosano decorated and so on. Lucy and Poe are there as well. They’re around so much that it felt fitting to invite them.
It had been a smoothly going night, but then Ranpo had roped everyone into another of his games again, so Atsushi is extremely tense. He’s unsure if he’s showing it.
This game, as dubbed by Ranpo himself, is called ‘take a shot every time Ranpo beats you at two truths and one lie’. It means exactly what it says. It’s everyone against Ranpo, who sits on a chair, hands clasped together like a madman. Kyouka and Kenji are too young, so they sit outside the circle, watching with intent. And Poe had asked to be spared from the game, which Ranpo allowed because he’s biased and lets Poe get away with anything.
“Yosano-sensei! Your turn!”
Yosano, who’s sufficiently tipsy by now, has no qualms about it. She raises her shot glass. “Okay. I cut my own hair when I was sixteen, I had my first kiss, and I have a tattoo on my back.”
Ranpo doesn’t even hesitate. “Tattoo’s the lie.”
“Damn.” She takes a shot with a grin.
“Wait, you’ve had your first kiss?” Tanizaki asks. “With who?”
She throws up a peace sign. “That’s for me to know.”
Ranpo laughs. “Of course, I know who it was. But I won’t say. They bribed me into keeping my mouth shut. Anyway, how about Dazai-kun?”
Atsushi looks at his mentor. Dazai is rather notorious for being a good liar, with the many masks he’s able to put on. He wonders if Ranpo would be able to get this one.
The man in bandages hums. “I speak five languages, I’ve never been to school, and I’m married.”
“There’s no way he’s married,” Atsushi mutters to Lucy, who sits next to him.
“You speak six languages, actually. Japanese, French, Russian, English, Latin, and Mandarin.”
“I have never heard him speak half of that,” Kyouka protests.
Dazai says nothing, silently taking a sip. Chaos breaks out immediately.
“Who the hell are you married to?!” Kunikida yells. Tanizaki shakes his head and mutters something to himself. Yosano bemoans about Dazai not telling her about his love life. Naomi is squealing about how cute that is.
Atsushi grimaces. He didn’t know Dazai was married either, but he can take a wild guess on who he’s married to.
Lucy chuckles. “Wow. And none of you except Ranpo knew? He’s a damn good secret keeper.”
“Yeah…” he mutters, wondering not for the first time if Ranpo knows about him and Akutagawa.
“But Ranpo-san, how do you know that he’s married?” Kenji pipes up from where he is.
“Hm? Oh. It’s the bento boxes he brings,” Ranpo shrugs, like it’s obvious. “Dazai can’t cook. And the ingredients used are always extremely high quality. Someone else has to be making them for him.”
“That doesn’t prove that he’s married!”
“No, but the smile on his face when he opens his lunch is a hint.” He points at Dazai accusingly, who holds his hands up in response. “And his ring finger. Sometimes there’s an indent, though it fades away pretty fast. And he rubs his finger occasionally, like there’s something that should be there, but was taken off recently. That’s how I guessed.”
“Can’t hide anything from ya, hm?” Dazai laughs. “I’m married to my chibi, obviously.” He smiles fondly when he says it, a glimmer of his true emotions shining through for just that moment.
“A Mafia member?” Kunikida asks, before sighing deeply. “I should’ve seen that coming. Never mind.”
“What does that mean?!” Dazai squawks.
“Next!” Ranpo interrupts, eyes landing on Atsushi, who groans on the inside. Ranpo’s grin is like a shark. “Atsushi-kun!”
“Ooh! What secrets are our dear Atsushi-kun keeping, hm?” Yosano leans over, all giggly.
“U-um…”
“Atsushi-kun’s a bit of an open book. He doesn’t have many secrets. I would know if he did,” Ranpo tells everyone. That gets Atsushi to pause.
He doesn’t know..?
Well, there’s only one way to find out. Atsushi has to cheat. If Ranpo knew, he’d call him out immediately. Atsushi thinks for a minute and proceeds to tell two lies.
“Okay, um… I’ve never dated anyone, my eyes are actually brown, and I cried when watching Bambi.”
Kyouka snorts. She was there when he cried. It was quite an ordeal.
“Tiger cat, that’s much too easy,” Lucy complains. “Your eyes. Everyone here knows that.”
He looks at Ranpo. Ranpo nods. “It’s no fun when you make it so easy, Atsushi-kun. Oh well. Take a shot.”
Atsushi apologises with a laugh that sounds less nervous than he feels. He takes the shot glass Yosano offers and drinks it, wincing at the taste. It’s his first shot of the night.
So he doesn’t know after all.
For a moment, Atsushi severely questions whether he phrased his facts wrong and that he said he was actually dating someone, but Ranpo moves on to the next target (Tanizaki) and the conversation is left behind.
Huh. Maybe Akutagawa’s lessons on lying have actually helped him subconsciously?
Well, it doesn’t matter. Atsushi will tell them eventually. When Akutagawa’s ready, Atsushi will let everyone know who the love of his life is. Besides, it’ll be quite priceless to see Ranpo’s look of disbelief when he finds out that Atsushi was able to keep something from him.
He hides his smile behind his hand. He can’t wait to tell his boyfriend about this.
< +1 >
Atsushi’s in a weird mood.
He’s over at Akutagawa’s apartment again, staying over for the night since Gin has a mission overseas and won’t be coming back for a while. They’ve just finished dinner, and Atsushi’s muttering to himself while he does the dishes. His tail is out, swaying to the beat of whatever song’s on his mind, as usual. Akutagawa hasn’t pointed it out yet. It’s too cute for him to want to say anything.
“Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi calls once he places the last dish on the drying rack.
“Hm?”
“Can I… ask you something?”
He looks nervous. Akutagawa wonders if this is a conversation he should be worried about. “What is it?”
Atsushi still has his back facing him. His tail had stopped moving, instead remaining tense and still.
“Atsushi,” Akutagawa says. “It’s just me.”
“R-right. Um. What… what do you think about making our relationship public?”
It’s Akutagawa's turn to tense. He grips the fabric of his pants.
Atsushi wants a normal relationship. It’s not the first time Akutagawa has noticed that. But asking him something like this? Maybe he’s had enough of hiding and sneaking around and wants to find someone else?
“Why do you ask?”
“No reason!” he cries a little too quickly. “Sorry. It’s just that, we had a party at the Agency recently and I found out that even Ranpo-san doesn’t know we’re dating, and while I’m proud of us for hiding it so well, I thought that—maybe we don’t have to? Um. It’s up to you, though. I know you’re not keen on making this a thing because—”
“Wait,” Akutagawa interrupts. “You want people to know?”
“Eh? Yeah, I’d love to introduce you to them. Properly. What do you mean?”
He stands up, the sound of chair scraping against the hardwood floor making Atsushi turn. His eyes are downcast and his fingers fiddle together. He’s still nervous.
Akutagawa approaches him and holds his hands gently, although his own are beginning to shake as well and aren’t any better. “Atsushi. Of course I want to go out with you freely. How could I ever want to hide you away?”
The pink that dusts Atsushi’s cheeks is beautiful. “W-well, you’re a private person. I don’t mind that, obviously, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be comfortable going out with me in public.”
“I could say the same.”
“Huh? Why would I not want that?”
Akutagawa shifts, discomfort gripping his heart. “You… you do know who I am, right? I’m a notorious criminal. Not… not everyone is going to accept a renowned Agency member like you dating someone like me. They’re going to think you deserve better. I think you deserve better.”
“Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi whispers, “you’re silly.”
Akutagawa glares. “I’m being very serious.”
“Someone once told me my past doesn’t define who I am, you know. I think he’s being hypocritical.”
Akutagawa sighs. “I guess I did say that. But it’s different. I’m still a Mafia member. I’m still not a good person.”
“I didn’t choose to date you without knowing all of that. I know what you do, and hell, our past isn’t the nicest. But you’re more than a product of your environment. You grew up learning what you know, and that’s something you can’t control so I’m not going to fault you for that.”
Atsushi flips their palms so that his ones are resting above Akutagawa’s, squeezing. “And I’m not exactly a saint either. We’re both just living our own lives. It doesn’t matter to me what you do or where you go, as long as you always come back home to me.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” Akutagawa chokes out. “People. People are going to come for you. As—as leverage against me. Mori might come for you too, if he knew of my loyalty to you. And your friends won’t like me.”
“My friends matter to me,” Atsushi says. “But so do you. When they know you make me happy, they’ll be okay.”
Akutagawa’s heart pounds. He’s hit, once again, with the desperate desire to tell. To release the emotions swirling inside of him, to let the world know that he’s in love with Nakajima Atsushi, and that he wants to spend his eternity with him.
“Kiss me,” he blurts out instead, and Atsushi obliges.
He tugs on Atsushi’s collar, pulling the other man towards him so that their lips may connect. Atsushi grasps onto his back, holding him tight, and Akutagawa feels warm. He feels held and adored and so unbelievably happy.
He presses his lips harder against Atsushi’s, crowding him against the counter, hoping that all of his devotion and heart pours out so that Atsushi can drown in it. His head goes dizzy and he vaguely registers the need for air but he doesn’t want to stop.
“Ryuu,” Atsushi says against his lips, and it sounds saccharine sweet, “Ryuu.”
Akutagawa pulls back slightly, leaving a small gap between them. Atsushi’s staring at him with wide eyes and red cheeks, lips parted and shining. He smiles and Akutagawa’s heart skips a beat.
Atsushi looks like the moon incarnate like this, bathed in the night glow of Akutagawa’s apartment. His hair, silver and wispy, is mussed up when Akutagawa runs fingers through it, admiring the man beneath him. He feels irrevocably lucky.
“I don’t deserve you,” he says, voice low and shaky.
Atsushi lifts a finger to tap Akutagawa’s lips tenderly, as if to shush him and chase away his thoughts. “You do. You have all of me.”
And Akutagawa kisses him breathless again, ignoring the single tear that slips from his shut eyes. If Atsushi notices, he doesn’t say anything.
They reach Akutagawa’s bedroom eventually, laying beside each other on the bed that feels much too cold when Atsushi’s not around. Atsushi tells him about all the places he wants to bring Akutagawa for their ‘first’ date and Akutagawa takes a mental catalogue of whatever he’s saying. He’ll bring Atsushi wherever he wants.
As Atsushi chats away, Akutagawa traces shapes onto his outstretched palm, humming at the right moments to acknowledge his boyfriend’s words. It’s like they’re in a bubble away from the world. Just the two of them in his quiet apartment, huddled together on maroon bedsheets, a single night lamp on for light.
Atsushi turns to face him, ametrine eyes twinkling with delight, and as always, Akutagawa melts. “And one day, you’ll have to let me meet Gin and the others too. I’m aware she can kill me easily. But I don’t care. I know she’s important to you, so I’m going to make a real good impression to make sure she likes me.”
Akutagawa huffs out a laugh. “She already does, I’m sure. I’ll maim her if she dares to lay a finger on you.”
“Aww. My knight in shining armour,” Atsushi teases with a giggle.
And Akutagawa feels overwhelmed at how soft this is, that he reaches out to cup Atsushi’s face and says without really thinking, “I love you.”
The words leave him before he can stop them. But he doesn’t regret them. They’re fervent, they’re powerful, and Atsushi’s answering beam is earth-shattering. “I love you too!”
There’s very few things that can make Akutagawa’s heart pound as hard as it does now. Funnily enough, Atsushi’s always had him feeling breathless.
He holds him tight, tucking his chin on his shoulder. “Tomorrow,” Atsushi whispers. “I’ll tell them tomorrow. Will you come with me?”
Akutagawa would follow Atsushi to the ends of the world, if he’d let him. “Of course.”
—
Atsushi stands outside the Agency’s office, hands wringing and bouncing on his toes. His boyfriend stands beside him, still as a statue, and if he wasn’t feeling so nervous he’d laugh at the difference.
Atsushi really, really wants to tell his friends. And he really, really wants them to approve. Akutagawa means the world to him, and he’d be devastated if they weren’t happy for him. Despite comforting Akutagawa the night before, Atsushi’s scared too.
He takes a deep breath and opens the door, walking in first. Akutagawa trails in behind him. “Good morning!”
His friends look up, greeting him back, but Atsushi can see the moment they notice the second presence and tense up. The only person who doesn’t tense is Dazai, who looks relatively surprised, but amused at the same time.
“Atsushi-kun. Are you aware you’ve brought in a stray?” Dazai asks. There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, like he can sense what’s about to happen.
“What does the Port Mafia want with us?” Kunikida asks, standing up. Atsushi sees his hands inch towards his notebook, but he doesn’t make any violent moves.
“Um, guys. This is Akutagawa.”
“We know,” Ranpo pipes up from his desk, legs propped up. “I didn’t foresee a visitor today.”
“I apologise for showing up without warning,” Akutagwaga says. His voice is monotone and cold. Atsushi wants to smack his own forehead. “I’m here to discuss Atsushi.”
“It sounds ominous when you say it like that!” he hisses over, even though he can’t find it in himself to be mad. He’s trying.
“What do you want with our Atsushi-kun?” Yosano asks. Atsushi takes another deep breath. Here it comes. The moment of truth.
A tendril wraps around his waist suddenly, and he’s bodily dragged backwards closer to his boyfriend. The Agency members tense again, and Tanizaki stands up as well. “Ryuu, stop scaring them,” Atsushi scolds, ignoring the flutter in his heart.
“Ryuu?” Dazai repeats, then laughs. “Oh my God. I see where this is going.”
“Are you taking him hostage again? We have a peace treaty with the Mafia. I won’t hesitate to report this,” Kunikida says, pointing his pen at Akutagawa. It’s actually a pretty funny image.
“Hostage? I suppose you could put it like that,” Akutagawa says. Atsushi thinks he’s joking. It does not land well.
“Let go of him right now,” Yosano demands.
Kyouka takes out her phone. Kenji subtly lifts his desk with one hand. Ranpo continues eating, brows furrowed. Dazai’s still laughing.
“No!” Atsushi protests. “Guys, stop, we’re dating!”
Silence.
“This is the best day of my life,” Dazai whispers, and that’s when hell breaks loose.
“You’re what?!”
“Since when?”
“I knew you liked him!”
His friends are an army of questions and shrieking, but Ranpo’s voice sticks out the most. “Atsushi-kun, did you lie to me during the party?”
“You lied to Ranpo-san? Successfully?” Tanizaki asks in disbelief. Atsushi shrugs.
“I thought he knew!”
Ranpo looks half horrified and half proud. “I don’t believe it. Nobody talk to me.”
“How long have you kept this from us?” Kunikida asks.
“A month and two weeks,” Akutagawa answers for him. The grip on his waist loosens. “I know our past is rough. But I… I love Atsushi, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I’m worthy of your approval.”
“Ryuu,” Atsushi says, feeling choked up, “that’s sweet.”
“I knew making you two team up was the right decision from the start!” Dazai flaunts. “But Atsushi-kun, I’m offended you kept this from me. As your dearest mentor, I feel you should confide such secrets to me.”
“You’d tell everyone immediately,” Atsushi deadpans.
The rest of the day is spent revelling over their now public relationship. Nobody gets any work done—not even Kunikida, who has taken it upon himself to assess Akutagawa and see if he’s ‘good enough’. Atsushi thinks he’s plenty good enough, but his friends do not rest.
Still, Akutagawa sits through multiple shovel talks with no complaints. He takes their threats seriously, and at one point, says, “If I break Atsushi’s heart, I’ll rip my own skin to shreds. You need not do it for me, but I’d appreciate the help, Yosano-sensei.”
It’s a bit morbid. Atsushi’s also a bit alarmed. But he’s touched, in a weird way.
Kenji introduces Akutagawa to his cow, who gets along swimmingly with him. Kyouka asks him to buy her a Switch, and Akutagawa agrees without hesitation. Atsushi tells her to stop taking advantage of his boyfriend’s money. She flips him off, which leads to Kunikida’s scandalised gasp.
Ranpo continues sitting at his own desk, evaluating Atsushi’s behaviour for the last month and drawing up new conclusions. He’s not said a word. Atsushi feels a little bit bad that he knocked Ranpo’s ego down like this. Only a little bit.
Lucy comes up at one point, having been told the situation by Kyouka, and Akutagawa sits through yet another shovel talk from her. Except this one occurred in Anne’s room, so no one but the two of them knew what was being said. When Lucy releases her ability, Akutagawa looks relatively unharmed, but the slight grimace on his face lets Atsushi know that Lucy definitely got her point across.
Fukuzawa comes in, notices Akutagawa being cornered by a few of his subordinates, and walks right back out. Atsushi will have to apologise for the ruckus.
Dazai pats them on the back and tells them to invite him to the wedding. Instead of being flustered at the prospect of them getting married, Akutagawa pleasantly tells him that he will. Atsushi’s face burns and he hits him, but he smiles shyly all the same.
At the end of the day, Akutagawa takes Atsushi out for dinner at a restaurant nearby. He then brings Atsushi to get crepes at one of his favourite places, and Atsushi is touched that he remembers his exact order. He holds onto his food, feeling the warmth seep through his fingers, and his heart feels fuzzy.
“Ryuu,” Atsushi calls, beaming. “Thank you.”
The smile Akutagawa gives him in return is worth a thousand suns.