Chapter Text
Since the day that Tsukasa accidentally walked in on Rui talking about his feelings with Nene, the two boys had been dating. Everyone was made very clear about this, thanks to Tsukasa and his loudness. To everyone, the two seemed happily and deeply in love, showering affectionate words on each other whether they were in public or a more private place. Though they looked like nothing could tear away their happiness on the outside, what lay on the inside would shock others.
“That was great, everyone,” Rui applauded as the sun began to set.
“I’m tired,” Nene complained.
“That’s alright, since we’ve finished now!” Emu chirped happily.
“Well I’m not tired yet!” Tsukasa proclaimed. “I could go on until midnight!”
“Well then, why don’t we practice some more, my star?” Rui suggested, hugging Tsukasa from behind.
“Ew,” Nene muttered.
“Are they gonna kiss?” Emu whispered loudly, her eyes wide.
“Yes. And we’re leaving before they do,” Nene announced, taking Emu and dragging her away from the stage.
“See you tomorrow!” Emu waved energetically. Tsukasa waved back, but Rui grabbed his arm and pulled him into a front hug.
“What do you say about that extra practice?” Rui said, giving off the vibe of a mischievous cat. If he were one, his tail would be wagging.
“I’d say yes…” Tsukasa started, leaning closer to Rui. “...but I have to make dinner today.”
“Aw,” Rui pouted, his invisible cat ears turning down. “What a spoil of fun.”
“It’s just what it is,” Tsukasa shrugged. “But maybe… tomorrow? I’ll be free all day~”
“Sounds good to me~” Tsukasa and Rui quickly finished cleaning the stage before Tsukasa left, giving a quick goodbye kiss to Rui. Once he left, Rui went to his little storage area behind the stage. The room was his comfort zone. Only he and Tsukasa knew about it, but he suspected that Nene had found out about the place.
Sighing, Rui sank into a beanbag chair and grabbed a book. He decided that he would relax a bit before getting to work on his next invention. But just after a few minutes of reading, he became antsy and tossed the book, quickly getting up and rolling into his chair. He had promised Tsukasa he would take it easy, but it was hard to. Besides, now that he was gone, it’s not like he’d know. Rui picked up a metal bunch and quickly got to work.
“You stayed up again last night, didn’t you?” Tsukasa scolded the next day at school.
“Uhhhh… no..?” Rui tried, and ended up getting a bonk on the head.
“Be glad I’m the one lecturing you and not Nene,” Tsukasa said, shaking his head. “If it were her, she’d be much more harsh with you.”
“I just can’t help it,” Rui whined, letting his head fall to his desk. “It’s so close to perfection, almost ready for use. I just have to figure out what’s keeping it from its true potential.”
“You sound obsessed,” Tsukasa said, crossing his arms. “And I can’t accept that.”
“Why? Because I should only be obsessed with you?” Rui winked. Tsukasa’s face flushed pink.
“Wha- no! No, no no no no no no! I was just- I was just trying to-” Tsukasa struggled with his words and ended up being interrupted by Rui’s laughing.
“I’m kidding,” Rui said, still giggling. “That is, if you want me to be?”
“No! I mean yes! I mean- argh!” Tsukasa turned away angrily as Rui laughed again.
“I’m leaving. This isn’t even my class,” Tsukasa muttered.
“No, wait, don’t gooo,” Rui pouted, but Tsukasa stubbornly ignored him. He walked out of class to his own, and Rui was left on his own.
“Staying behind again?” Nene said. Rui looked up over Tsukasa’s head, which was currently cuddling against his shirt.
“Yeah, why?” Rui asked.
“You’ve been staying late for the past few weeks,” Nene said, concern hovering over her.
“I’m fine,” Rui assured, waving it aside. “Tsukasa’s with me today anyways.”
“That’s supposed to be reassuring?”
“Hey, what do you mean about that? I’m the most reassuring thing ever in the whole wide world,” Tsukasa pouted like a kid.
“More like the most annoying and loud thing in the whole wide world.” As the two argued, Rui’s thoughts drifted off and started leading him through his daydream. He watched the two bicker as fun memories of his time here drifted by, until he remembered his invention. The worry of not being able to perfect it caused his stress to grow once again.
“Rui?” Tsukasa tapped him on the forehead. “You there?”
“Huh?” Rui quickly came back to reality, giving all his attention to Tsukasa.
“Nene just left. You didn’t say bye, so I was wondering what you were doing.”
“It’s nothing,” Rui smiled. “Just off exploring my own memories.”
“Of course,” Tsukasa sighed. “Exploring your mind and not our love? I feel betrayed.”
“I would never betray you.” Rui laid down on Tsukasa’s lap, playing with his shirt. “Do you want me to prove it?”
“Hm… maybe?~” Rui suddenly got up and picked up Tsukasa, carrying him over to his secret room.
“Haven’t been here in a while,” Tsukasa commented.
“I guess,” Rui shrugged. “But that doesn’t matter now, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Tsukasa smirked. “Because right now, all that matters is me.”
Long after Tsukasa left for home, Rui was still up in his room. Though he just had a great time recharging and cuddling with his lover, his stress instantly came back after he saw his invention.
“Have to finish it…” he mumbled to himself, reaching absent-mindedly for some screws. But he didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, and his hand was sliced by a sharp tool.
Rui quickly pulled back his hand instinctively, feeling a stinging pain in his palm. He watched silently as the blood dripped from his fingers. Eventually, he got up to grab some bandages for his wound.
“What happened?” Tsukasa asked, looking at Rui’s hand with concern.
“I just cut my hand on some metal,” Rui said. “I assure you, I’m fine.”
Tsukasa pouted, doubting Rui’s words but forcing himself to trust him.
“Be careful,” Tsukasa scolded, hiding his worry behind the lecture.
“I will,” Rui promised with a nod of his head.
Later that night, Rui sat in his room on a beanbag chair, holding a stress ball. He was trying so hard to keep his promise, to steer himself away from his invention. It was all he could manage to not look in his desk’s direction and leap towards it.
“I’ll just put it away,” he mumbled to himself, standing up. “Out of sight, out of mind, right?” Rui picked up a piece of metal, his hand shaking. Even though his palm had already been treated, he still felt a sting whenever something pressed against it. His eyes locked onto the invention, unable to tear away. And before he knew it, he had spent the entire night up again.
“Rui!” A shout caused Rui to snap out of his daze, and he looked up. Nene stood angrily in front of him.
“Um… hi?” Rui tried unconvincingly. Nene turned away with a huff and left. Emu looked at Rui with big, sad eyes.
“Did you hear anything we just said?” she asked, her eyes shining on the verge of tears. “I’m worried about you, Rui…”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Rui waved it off with a light laugh, but anyone could tell it was fake. Even Barbie could be more real than that, and the woman was literally made of plastic.
“I’m gonna stay behind today,” Rui said, standing up.
“Again?” Emu said with a bit of shock. “But you stayed behind every day for more than a month!”
“I know, but I’m so close… you understand, don’t you?” Rui asked, and Emu couldn’t help but nod when she saw his expression.
“Don’t tell Nene or Tsukasa about this, okay?” Rui put a finger up to his smile, patting Emu on the head before leaving. As Emu watched Rui leave, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.
“I’m sorry, Rui… but I can’t keep my promise.”
Tsukasa Tenma was a very angry man. He was also a very loud man, but not today. Today, he was silent and angry. Because he had just been informed that his significant other had betrayed their promise! Tsukasa stomped towards the stage he had just left mere moments ago. He was prepared to confront his beloved director about his addiction to his inventions.
Tsukasa threw the door to his room open.
“Rui!” he shouted. There was silence. Tsukasa looked around. It was dark in here (which was to be expected of, since it was night). The only light came from a desk lamp at the end of the room. Tsukasa slowly walked forward towards the light. He could see the back of Rui’s head looking down. The sound of metal clinking against each other could be heard.
“Rui?” Tsuaksa said again, quieter this time. No response.
“...finish it…” Rui mumbled. Tsukasa stepped closer.
“It’s… not working…” Rui muttered. His eyes were glued to the invention. He hadn’t even heard Tsukasa coming in. His fingers were shaking as he tried to hold a screw down. Tsukasa stepped closer.
“I need to make it better… I need to be better…” Rui reached for a tool. Tsukasa stepped closer.
“It needs to be perfect…” Rui scraped his finger against metal. Tsukasa stepped closer. And then he stopped.
Rui continued to move, to tinker. He still didn’t notice Tsukasa, who was right behind him. Tsukasa was standing still. He was standing very still. Except… he wasn’t. His hands were shaking. His shallow breath was causing his chest to rise and fall. His widened eyes were blinking. And his heart was pounding so hard, he thought it would tear out of his chest. Before him, everything he saw was red.
Red.
Red.
Red.
RED.
It was red on the scraps of metal.
It was red on the wood of the table.
It was red on white papers with sketches on them.
It was red on the handles of the tools scattered around.
It was red on the carpet just below the desk.
It was red on the bandages that had been unraveled and fallen to the ground.
It was red on Rui’s fingers.
It was red on Rui.
It was red on Rui.
It was red on Rui.
It was red… on Tsukasa’s beloved.
Tsukasa Tenma was a very angry man. He was also a very loud man. But today, he was truly a loud man. Because today, he shouted so loudly, so painfully, his throat felt like it would shred apart.
“RUIII!!!” Tsukasa screamed with all his might, his entire being. His voice cracked, but he didn’t care. He didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face.
Rui paused. He turned around.
“Tsukasa-kun…?” His quiet voice broke the silence. It was so silent after Tsukasa yelled, so silent . The only sound in the room was the slight hiccups from Tsukasa’s throat as he sobbed, choking on his tears and holding them back.
“Rui…” His throat was sore, his voice broken. Himself broken.
“Why… would you do this to yourself? To me …?” Tsukasa’s voice was just as quiet as Rui’s when he finally spoke his name. Silence. No one said a thing.
Rui reached out a hand, and stopped. He looked at his hand, took a good, long look as it started to shake.
“Tsukasa-kun…” Rui’s voice cracked halfway. Tsukasa looked up to see a shaking smile on Rui’s tear-stained face.
“I… can’t… feel anything…”