Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It started with a letter.

A letter with a red heart-shaped sticker attached itself to the rest of the perfect white body.

To tell the truth, X checked his mailbox with the intention of not finding anything at all. It’s like a joke, he looked over to the ancient silver lockers with a roll of the eyes and a grin. “I should look and see if I got something right?”

It was a joke, Zero even exhaled at it- that’s practically a hearty chuckle. The mailroom itself is a joke- a mailroom being built in the year 21XX It’s ridiculous. X couldn’t say who made the decision or why but he couldn’t hide his amusement at the thought of a government higher up insisting that a mailroom was necessary. Utterly ridiculous. But then, here they were, passing by the unserious, unremarkable, unimportant mailroom. In the mailroom, he couldn’t even remember which locker was his, all the gleaming, shiny, stainless steel blocks looked the same as each other. Except for Axl’s, he put stickers all over his. He was told to take them off, and when he did they left their white sticky backings. So now it was covered in unflattering white, textured shapes. X lectured him for defacing government property, while secretly wishing to decorate his.

He reached into the envelope slot and pulled out a blank white letter- and that was when the amusement, the impossibility of it all became utter confusion. X’s expression dissolves into confusion the more he looks at it, flipping it over again in his hands. He’s not looking for anything, but there is nothing else there but the heart-shaped sticker.

“I didn’t…” he looks up to Zero, “I hope this hasn’t been sitting here for a while I don’t usually check my mail you know… oh dear.” He turns it over a third time. “You don’t think…”

Zero’s face hadn’t moved. He simply shrugged his shoulders, and they fell in a heavy swoop.

X looked back down at the letter, peeled the sticker from the backing, and opened it, carefully reading the neat handwriting.

"Dear X... I understand you may find this letter strange. To you, I am a stranger. But... from the moment I became part of your unit - no, since the moment I was activated, I've felt an attraction, nothing else can compare to... I've felt so lucky all this time to be near you, to even look at you from afar... but I've realized that isn't enough. I know we are leagues apart, but I cannot ignore the fact that I love you any longer.

Please, let me speak with you, even if you cannot accept my feelings... I just want you to know who I am... and how much you mean to me.

Under the cherry blossom tree in the city's park, 9 tonight, I will wait. If you don't come... I will understand. It's selfish, but I would have to leave the hunters if you don’t show. It would be too painful to continue without you.”

Sincerely, your admirer.

X stared at the letter for a long time, his face slowly growing more and more red until it had become a bright crimson, not unlike Zero’s armor. When X looked up, he saw Zero’s expression change in an instant. He wasn’t sure what his face looked like before, but he saw him return to his natural state. Even, smooth and unwrinkled. Even his eyebrows are perfect, at an exact 15 degrees.

“I was hoping this wouldn’t be the case.” His voice, always deep and commanding is slightly softened.

X feels the word slip from his lips before he can acknowledge it, “Why?”

There’s a slight pause before Zero’s response. “You’re his commander, having a subordinate with you in the dark, alone at a park… if he speaks about this, your professionalism can be called into question.”

"Maybe so but it would be impolite to go.”

Zeros fists tighten, then immediately relax. "You're the superior, politeness shouldn't be an issue."

"Zero... if I'm rude to others, they won't be as comfortable coming to me with any issues they may be having. I can't just-"

"You can." There's something in his expression that makes X pause.

Zero meets his gaze with a pointed look. "It is not personal, it is how it must be. You're their leader. What would you think if I met with someone that confessed to me, even to kindly turn them down?”

X didn't say what he would think. Either way, he had a good point.

"... You're right,” he relents. “I won't do it.".

Zero nods, and finally he relaxes, clasping an arm around his shoulders. "It's for the best."

X's cheeks turn pink and he nods, flashing him a smile. He folds the letter back and sets it down on the table. Zero squeezes his shoulders. Wonderful… warmth fills his chest and shoulders and that's when X pulls back. His chest feels too tight, and his throat feels thick. He catches a hurt glimpse in Zero’s eyes and he stops in his place.

"I uh…" X falters as he realizes he doesn't have a reason to pull away like that. He swears he can see hurt in his eyes, and he feels the pulsing, messy guilt like a leak inside his body.

X clears his throat, "Sorry. I have work to do. I'll catch up with you at break okay?"

Zero watches him and gives him a short nod. "Of course."

An awkward pause passes. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." X studies him. He thought… he saw hurt in his eyes, but that could have been drawing at straws, at false hope. He smiles again at him.

"See you."

He turns and can't leave the room fast enough, his feelings and nerves, and heart are all tangled up, so sensitive he feels pulling on just one of them and he will fall apart. Then there's that shame, that he liked Zero’s reaction to the letter.

God, he's old enough to not act like this, to not jump away from his friend because of a stupid crush he should have outgrown already. If he had any interest at all in returning his affections he would have known by now. Remember how he acted around Iris? Someone looking at her for too long would make him-

Zero chugs back the E-tank in one big gulp, throwing it back so hard his hair flutters around him. He crushes the can, and large indents of where his fingers were are left behind. He tosses the can at the trashcan- hitting it and making a big mess instead. It collapses to the ground, and bits of garbage fly across the hallway. E-tank cans and wrappers, boxes of juice, and paperwork shreds, surrounding him in a messy, disgusting pile.

Zero instantly recoils, blinking in disbelief. He stares down at the hand that caused this and sighs, rubbing his face.

“Fuck…” he curses under his breath.

“Uh, Zero…”

He jolts, quickly turning around to face Axl. He greets him with a perceived innocence, his big green eyes blinking at him. There’s a pause before he speaks,

“Yo? Um… Are you… like… okay? What’s gotten you so hot under the collar?”

Zero quickly regains his composure, crossing his arms, his hair rolls neatly into place, extending behind him in a big beautiful fluff. He’s suspiciously silent for a long moment, his fingers impatiently dancing on his arm. “I was thinking about Vile.”

“Ah.” Axl seemed to accept this, nodding along. “Yeah, that guy pisses you off. Why d’ya think Sigma keeps bringing him back? Does he like him or something?”

"Vile hates X as much as Sigma hates X," Zero explains. "Maybe even more. And he hated him for longer than Sigma has."

"Yeah, alright, that makes sense. You shouldn't let him get you, he's pathetic. Although," his lips purse together, and his eyes flash with mischief. "It's really funny seeing him and X talk. X gets so pissed off with him. Like, anyone else would be like 'Can't we work things out?' But as soon as he sees it's Vile he immediately starts screaming that he will defeat him."

"I don't blame him, Vile can't be reasoned with." Zero had begun to start cleaning up the hall, neatly picking up the garbage he spilled- including the crushed can.

"Yeah." There's an awkward pause. "Well, take it easy big guy. Don’t let it get to you too much.”

Axl passes him and leaves the hall. Zero watches after him until he is gone and looks at his hands with a pained sigh.

You can’t do this again. He tells himself.

…

Alia sighs as hard at work as ever. Navigator base is filled with the stench of burnt coffee, and filled with the sound of navigators speaking softly, clicking, and typing on keyboards.

“Why are you telling me this?” she mumbles to the computer. “I’m busy, I don’t want to hear about the fits Zero is throwing.”

“Cause I couldn’t find X. Anyway, it was so weird! I have never seen him that pissed before! Like, he's not usually the one that's all like 'fuck off and die Vile' you know? That's X's schtick. But like, I don't know what else that could have pissed him off that bad. He doesn’t really get that upset about anything other than mavericks.” His head tilts to the side as he thinks.

Alia takes a sip of her crude oil, coughing on the obnoxious fumes. She wipes at her nose with a sniff and blinks her eyes into focus. "X texted me earlier he got a love note in his mail. That’s probably it.”

Axl is silent and that's when she peers up from the screen. He blinks at her, “Why would that be it?”

Alia raises an eyebrow in return." you know…"

"I guess I don't. What’s that got to do with anything?”

"You can't be serious," Alia deadpans.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Alia blows a breath from her nose. "I know you messing with me, but just on the off-chance, you being serious… Zero is in love with X. So he wouldn't exactly like the idea of him writing a love confession in the mail, would he?'”

Axl stares at her, his eyes fly to bug out of his head, and his eyebrows raise above his helmet. He suddenly leans forward and says one word very, very seriously.

"What."

"What do you mean what? Dont tell me you were clueless about this."

Axl just blinks and her mouth falls open, her hand leaves her keyboard to cover her mouth.

"Oh my god,” she reaches for him, and her expression changes to a sympathetic soft gaze. “You had no idea.”

Axl moves his arm away and slams it on her desk. It catches the attention of no one. “But they’re friends! My friends! My partners! I would know if they like- liked each other right?”

The sympathy she had left her face. “I’ve known them a lot longer than you have Axl.”

“Well maybe but-”

She pushes, “You didn’t see X do everything in his power to find all of Zero’s body parts to put him together, and you didn’t see X cradling Zero’s saber for months before he could leave it at his desk without desperately searching for it. You didn’t get to see all the times they’ve shown each other and everyone here that they are most important to each other. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what it could be.”

Alia goes back to her computer screen, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I got work to do alright? I don’t have time to argue.”

“...But.. they’re buddies-”

“Axl.” She warns, already clicking with her mouse.

“Maybe they are the most important people in the world to each other, but I’ve heard Zero talk about a girl before.”

That made Alia look up from her screen again, “A girl?” Another one? That is what she wants to say.

“I’ve heard him mutter a girl's name in his sleep. I think it was… Iris?”

“Oh I should’ve known,” she grumbles. “Listen, Axl, I’d drop it. That was a long time ago, fourth war. She was a part of repliforce.”

Axl opens his mouth, and reluctantly closes it, “Yeesh. Repliforce… You know I wasn’t around when they were kicking.”

“Go ahead and make me feel old why don’t you.”

“Ah sorry… Wait- hold on, why would I be talking about this with you? If I want to know what you’re saying is true I should just ask him!”

Alia promptly takes his arm, giving him the iciest glare she can muster. “No.”

“Eh?! Why not?”

“I didn’t tell you that they are in love for you to interfere.”

“Well, if all of this is true why don’t I just like, help them? You know, go in and tell them the business?”

“Because that’s something they have to figure out. And… I’ve already tried. Both of them are incredibly dense.”

“Well, could I at least ask one of them how they feel about the other? I mean, not that I don’t believe but like…” Axl struggles to put his thoughts into words, “I think I need to hear it from the horse's mouth.”

“I don’t know how they would react to that and to be frank, I don’t want to mess with their relationship.”

“I don’t know if that would hurt it, to be honest Alia, I mean dying didn’t.”

Alia laughs dryly, shaking her head. “That’s true, but I’ve never wanted to take the risk. I wouldn’t do anything. Leave it alone. I mean it.”

Axl puts up his hands, “Okay, okay I promise I won’t. But like how LONG are they going to dance around this, like, is it going to be forever?”

Alia sighs, “I wish I knew, it’s already been over a decade. Now I have work to do, so goodbye.” She slumps over in his chair, faces practically against the screen.

“You’re kicking me out? Cold.”

“I have no choice. If I didn’t you would never leave.”

“True,” He didn’t attempt to deny it. Axl got up from his seat, waving lazily to her. “I’ll let you know if I notice anything else.”

Alia studies him as he leaves. He better have listened.

...

It didn’t make any sense. It made perfect sense. it was nonsense. It was the most reasonable thing he ever heard. X and Zero are gay. For each other. They love each other more than anything or anyone. He repeats all the times they gazed at each other for a little too long, or lit up when they saw the other enter the room. Plus, why would Alia have to gain to lie about it? She wouldn’t. But… why wouldn’t he know? And what does he do with now? Does he try to get him together? that’s his first inclination.

But how could I get these guys together?

He still needed a minute to honestly wrap his head around it, let alone play cupid. If he could start provoking one of them into admitting it to him, maybe they could even work together. But they would have to admit it, if he tried to ask them they’re going to deny it. Not that he has a plan for that.

Axl blew out a breath. Wait, where the fuck is he? He turns around the room he ended up in, there are rows and rows of dusty silver lockers and he quickly summarizes he somehow ended up in the mailroom. He never goes in here, and he has no idea why his legs took him here without noticing.

Well, whatever. He spies something white on a table on the other side of the room. He picks it up, noticing it is an open letter with a red heart sticker stuck to the envelope. Unable to let go of his curiosity, he pulls the paper out from inside and unfolds it, beginning to read.

A smile creeps across his face.

This is it!

…

There wasn't necessarily a moment where either X or Zero doubted each other.

There were times when they butted heads, yes. Everyone thought they usually got along well, which they did, but an exception came along every once in a while.

The most notable of which was when X was stepping back from hunter work. Zero had seen this as a kind of betrayal, but respected the decision, as much as it hurt him. He knew X personally, and for such a long time, that while this was seemingly out of character for him, he realized why he did so. X has been upset at the time and had said things he wasn't proud of. But coexistence eventually prevailed, and they were able to speak to each other professionally. Robotically, almost.

That is until Axl came along.

Who knows. Maybe they'd still be like that if the redhead hadn't brought them back together… Neither of them would admit it, but both knew the truth. If it weren’t for him, their relationship would be in the same dubious place.

Axl brought them together. And since then... their relationship had been stronger than ever.

Or at least, it had been. X isn’t a fool, he can see it when Zero starts acting strange around him, and he can see it started when he receives an unfortunate 5 more letters. All with a perfect white body, and a heart connecting the flap to the back. It’s upsetting to say the least, did they all collaborate with each other?

X sat at the table in the mail room, staring at the envelopes with a faintly disturbed expression. This was strange. Attention was normally something he could handle, but this...? It was personal, and it felt wrong. This wasn't something he wanted to have with someone he barely knew, much less multiple people.

He looked up at Zero, feeling a little helpless under the pressure of unknown people's affections. He was shocked to see a deeply disturbed expression on his usually stoic face. He's nearly convinced he imagined it. As soon as Zero notices him, it disappears. Like it was never there. But X can still feel his beating chest, admiring that cold glint in his eyes, his jaw tight…

Zero blinks and suddenly X jumps, acting like a schoolgirl around him again. X silently gives himself a lecture and collects himself with a cool gaze.

Zero glances at the letters on the table and shakes his head, “Just ignore it. I'll speak to the commander about this."

The relief is instant. Sighing again, X let his head rest on the table, his power gem tinkling softly as he did. "Thank you, Zee... this is starting to get ridiculous..."

X felt a weight on his head, Zero gently patted him and pulled his arm back. "Don't mention it."

Had he imagined it after all...?

He sounded so calm, so reassuring... he was such an amazing friend to him...

... he was glad he couldn't see his face right now, X was certain his face was beet red with embarrassment.

"I'll take these." Zero picked up the letters. "Let me know... if you find more. I'll be back soon."

"Okay... thank you, again."

He nods. "Of course."

Then... he lingers…

X blinks and lifts his head from the table, but as soon as he does Zero turns from him and leaves without another word.

It isn't his imagination.

He is acting strange.

What was going on with him…?

…

Zero wanted desperately to rip all of these letters apart. He thought about it over and over again, and his hands yearned for their destruction. He can feel the paper tearing under his fingers and the longer he held them, the more tantalizing the thought was- even better was knowing X would never read them. Much better than last time, where X seriously considered meeting a random stranger…

He could take comfort in that Signas would be taking care of it. If he believed that would do anything. But he doubted the letters would stop

Asimov! He couldn't believe their audacity. Did no one even consider the fact that X didn't want this?! He knew him better than anyone, sure, but if they were so dense as to fundamentally misunderstand X's character then- then-

They didn't even deserve his attention.

Zero pauses in the hallway.

But he understands something they don’t- X had never once spoken to him about romance. Well sure, he had once- but it was gentle musing of what it would be like to have someone he loved. It was meaningless, empty. Simply a dream he had no intention of completing. He understood when he dreamt of a romance with someone he wasn’t saying he had anyone in mind.

He's okay with that. He wants things to stay the same. A future where they can continue to walk hand in hand is all he wants. He isn’t going to let himself or anyone else ruin that. X is too important… too important…

The letters bend in his hand. Zero takes a deep breath, keeping his calm collected persona. Breathe.

Things are going to stay the same, and I will be the same. One of those self-affirmations X told him to do. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes.

He hears a small chime, and his mind tells him he has a text from Axl, a text with an attached image as well. He finds relief in this, finally, something that isn’t about X. It’s probably another one of those "memes" he found. Maybe another one with that gray cat with the cheeseburger or something.

He quickly read the text above the image.

"I was at the park cause I was like we should do a hanami and i caught a couple of love birds in the distance 00000”

Zero's eye caught the vivid iconic blue that bathed X. hand made a motion to zoom in on the message. It wouldn’t be… he wouldn’t…

he...

He said…

But it was him. X, almost glowing in the moonlight, talking to the hazy form of a generic unit under the cloak of darkness.

The letters bent in half.

Axl sent another message.

"I heard a rumor that when he turned him down (lol) he said his heart "belonged to someone else."

That’s impossible.

"I can't believe you've been holding out on me!!! You gotta tell me X's cryyysh ikyk! *_*"

His- his heart belonged to someone else? X doesn’t have a crush on anyone, if he did he would know.

It doesn't make any sense. Why would he go and not tell me?

Zero gripped his chest. Only X could make him feel like this... God… Why would he do this? There could be only one answer- one he could think of. X was hiding… hiding a crush from him.

The letters were all crushed in his hand.

Axl grinned from ear to ear when he received Zero's reply. He chuckled to himself, eyes glinting with mischief. Got him.

"I don't know who it could be. Please let me know if you receive more information."

Axl’s reply was quick, he needed to come in for the kill.

"What?! You don't know?!”

Zero’s reply was even quicker.

“No.”

“Well, you should ask him. You need me to give you more rumors lolol. You jealous or smthn?"

Zeros face burned

"Don't be ridiculous." he retorted. "I only wish to remain updated on the state of the situation, as his safety is a priority."

"You know he can take care of himself right? Lololol."

Of course, he does.

"Of course I do. This is just precautionary."

"Lol. lol. lol,,”

"Axl.”

"Ik u know that, I’m just messing with you. I mean, being fr idk who X crush culd be. He sends te mst time with with u yk? Like, does he even think about anyone else but you?”

Zero began typing. He deleted the message. He thought. Typed again. Deleted. Thought. Typed. Deleted…

“What do you mean by that?”

Axl rolled his eyes.

"Man this guy is so dense..." he groaned, leaning back.

He receives a message.

“What would make the most sense is my initial line of logic, X couldn’t have a crush."

Axl leans his head back with a loud groan, “This guy is so dense! Is he doing this to me on purpose?!” This is going to be a lot harder than he expected.

He got another message from Zero that’s even worse, “This is exactly what I was warning him about. His reputation as the leader of the 13th unit is incredibly important and he shouldn’t allow other people to create a narrative for him like that. He’ll likely be taken less seriously by his peers and this weakness may even try to be taken advantage of by those around him who don’t know him as well as you and I who know the truth. It isn’t as though the generic units are truly in love with him, they don’t know him. It is simply the idea of him that they are infatuated with, and considering I found more letters of this nature it is a “trend” to confess love with X. It is pathetic honestly.”

Was I blind or something before? Zero wrote a paragraph about someone. He’s stunned, honestly.

Axl pouts, slumping on his bed. This only lasts a moment, before straightening like he was hit by a bolt of lightning.

“It sounds like you’re personally offended by this,” he sends.

“Of course,” his response is instant. “He’s my friend.”

“You wouldn’t be this offended if it were me though.”

“Maybe not, but you aren’t the leader of your hunting unit are you?”

Practical as always. He needs to push a little harder.

“There’s no other reason?”

He was left on read for several minutes, before finally getting a response.

“No.”

That’s that. He’s been stonewalled.

Axl rolls over in his bed, shutting off his display. “Fuuck…”

This is way harder than he expected. Not that he thought this would be easy- but he supposes a naive part of him didn’t think it would be this hard. He’s their friend too right? Shouldn’t it be easy to get them to spill their secrets to him? He worked so hard to get that DNA from X to pretend to as him too… all that hard work for a long gay paragraph and nothing more.

Axl sits his face up in his hands, and he kicks his legs back and forth, brow furrowed in thought. He just wants him to confess his feelings right…? So maybe it doesn’t even matter if he can’t get him to say anything to him- if he could get him to say it to X… But…

Axl sighs. He just wanted his friend to be able to tell him to his face that he was in love with X. That’s all. Why wouldn’t he just trust him?

Why wouldn't they trust him?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

Axl sighs and gets up. He looks down at his hand and realizes it is still orange from the bag of chips he was eating. He wipes it on his thighs, leaving a long orange stroke on either side of his legs. With a turn of his hands, he opens the door to his room and lets out a cry in shock-

“Wah!”

He sees the intense blue stare of Zero peering at him between the crack opened by the door.

Zero pushes the door open, bowing slightly.

“Pardon the interruption.”

Oh brother.

“Uh… Wassup?”

“...Nothing.” Zero blinks at him. “You were the one asking odd questions.”

He gives a forced smile. “Was I? Whoops. I didn’t mean to.”

“Yes.” Zero glances around his room. “If that’s all…” Axl notices then that he looks tense, holding his shoulders in a perfect, unnatural square. He takes another glance around the room and closes his eyes. “ I’ll be on my way.”

The words slip from Axl’s lips. “Hey, man… if something is bothering you, you can tell me. I know I’m not X…” he tries not to let his voice crack when he says that. “But you can tell me, okay?”

Zero had already turned from him, he glances back at him with an expression Axl can’t put his finger on.

“Axl…” He speaks slowly, in a softer tone than Axl is used to. “I’m embarrassed enough you saw my… outburst in the hall. Frankly… I don’t know if I could… speak on it anymore.

Axl gives a more genuine, but still forced smile, “Come on, what else is your number two for?”

“It’s not that easy.” Axl sees the shock in his eyes when the words slip out, and he scowls. “For the record, you’re not my number two, I regard you on X on equal terms. This isn’t something I can tell X either.” he turns away from him again and lazily waves his hand. “Later.”

Axl looked to his feet and sighs. “Yeah. I get it. You don’t trust me like that.”

Zero stops, and glances back at him, his face knit with worry, and with an edge of frustration, pressing his lips together. “That isn’t it.”

“It sure feels that way,” he says bitterly. “I mean, for crying out loud I still don’t even know who Iris is!”

Zero visibly flinches at the name, “You don’t understand Axl.”

“No, I don’t- how could I? I mean… We were working together for over a year and you never even mentioned Vile to me! I mean come on, you’ve fought him as much as you have Sigma and you only mention him when he’s right in front of him?”

“We thought you knew.”

“Why would I?” Axl throws his arms in front of him, “seriously, why would I know who he is?”

“I acknowledge my mistake in not informing you of something as important as an aggressive maverick, but I will not apologize for not telling you about my personal life. I’m not the kind o person that needs to let everyone know my business. I thought you understood, or even respected this, but I suppose I was mistaken.”

Axl looks at the weird stain on the carpet, “...But we’re friends.”

“I know. We are. But that doesn’t mean you need to know everything about me. I would prefer it if you didn’t.”

“Because I’m not X?”

“...” Zero shakes his head with a sigh. “I don’t understand where this has come from. X has nothing to do with it.”

“You guys are way closer than I could ever be!” he shouts, “Maybe you don’t treat me any different, but he knows who Iris is right?!”

“If the problem is Iris, I will tell you.” he closes his eyes with a still dark, and troubled expression. “She was a reploid I loved. Her brother was in Repliforce and fought in the coup against the government, with their goal of course being to destroy the old government and replace it with one that favored reploids. When I had to face him to preserve peace and the life of humanity… I… Had ended his life. She decided to defend his death.” His eyes flicked to the ground, and he squeezed them painfully shut. “So I killed her.”

He takes a moment to steady himself and looks up, meeting the large gaze of Axl, his mouth hanging open.

“Oh. Oh shit.” His stomach tested, and suddenly he felt sick. “ I’m sorry. I thought that was a happier story.”

“If it was I would tell you. Our lives are not happy fun destroy maverick time, as you like to imagine them to be. They are dark and vicious, and full of the memories of the friends we lost.” His eyes narrowed at him, “It is a kindness that I don’t tell you everything.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Axl feels his lip tremble, and he holds back his tears the best he could. “I just wanted to know why you wouldn’t tell me you love X.”

“What? What?” he asked again.

“Pfft…” Axl tries to play it cool, avoiding eye contact with him, not that he has the nerve to look him in the eye after that. “I know. Alia was wrong right? You’re just friends. Always have been?”

He doesn’t get the initial reaction he was expecting, adamant denial and chastising. “How could you think I’m in love with X?” When he lifts his gaze, he starts to wonder if he’s stuck in a fever dream. Zero’s fingers nervously rake through his long hair over and over, like a cat clawing at a curtain. And besides that, his face is an intense red.

Red?

He’s… blushing?

A stunned Axl stares at Zero, and eventually, he’s able to speak, barely “Y-you like him?”

“If you weren’t sure why did you bother bringing it up?” Zero snaps frustratedly at him, stamping his foot. “God I can’t believe this is what this was about… were you really that upset you had to find that out from Alia?”

Axl doesn’t want to admit he hit the nail on the head. “I don’t know! I don’t know what I was upset about, and now I feel like an idiot, and you probably think I was acting like a little kid- it’s-”

“I do. You were acting like a kid,” He interrupts.

Ow.

“But I’m not that upset with you.”

“...Why not?” Axl gives him a weird look.

“...You’re jealous that I’m not as close to you as X, it’s… ridiculous but amusing. Frankly, no one else knows me well enough to deserve to be jealous of what I have. I’m simply not that upset you cared about my well-being that much. That’s all.”

“Jeez…” Axl sighs, his eyes flick up from the ground to his face, and he feels himself smiling softly. “For a guy who never talks about his feelings that was… cheesy.”

“I don’t like engaging with these feelings,” he’s like a tomato.

Axl punched his shoulder a little, “I was teasing. You should express your feelings more often. Maybe if you did you guys would be boyfriend and boyfriend!”

He gives him an intense stare, but it’s undermined by the fact he looks like an embarrassed cartoon character. “I won’t. I… wouldn’t change our relationship for anything. So…” He’s giving him a look that could kill. “Breathe a word about this to X and I will-”

“Alright, alright I get it! I’m sorry man. Besides, now I feel like an idiot, and I’m embarrassed, and when I think about this moment from now on I’ll yell like my mind touched a hot memory stove,” Axl babbled.

“Good, feel bad.” There’s a beat and his face softens, “...No. I don’t mean that. To be frank I had no reason to tell you. I don’t necessarily need to discuss how I feel in the same manner X does.”

“Well… why not? Isn’t it hard? I mean, keeping those feelings in?”

“Not really. I’ve done that for most of my relationship with him.”

Axl is speechless.

“Next time if you want to know something ask me. I don’t do well with… whatever you were doing. I would have explained it to you. You should know to be direct with me.”

Oh. “Yeah fair point. I don’t know, Alia told me not to. I thought you would deny it.”

“...Alia wasn’t wrong. I’m not the type to deal with this well. I’m… a warbot. I was made to destroy lives and tear apart buildings, it isn’t an excuse but sometimes I wonder how much it affects how I discuss things with people or even my overall cognitive functions.” He blinks, and lifts a hand to his head, softly sighing. “This is no good. I can’t… hold myself back in discussions about X. I have a… hard time holding myself back.”

Axl smirks. That’s pretty damn cute. “I’ll tell you if I see X talk with any other strange men.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay,” he cheekily grins at him. “But… I do want to say… I think X would be completely fine if you told him. I don’t think your relationship would change or anything. I mean, it’s just too strong for that you know? And I mean… You have a good chance that he likes you too.”

Zero studies him for a moment, “Maybe.” he says carefully, chewing on his words. “But I can’t take that risk. Drop it from now on. I don’t want to hear you talk about this anymore.”

Axl rolls his eyes, “Aye, aye captain. But…” he rubs the back of his neck, “If you need to talk to anyone… I’ll be here.”

Zero passes him on the way to the door, smacking the top of his head. “I already knew that.”

When Zero leaves the room Axl feels even more determined to get them together.

Chapter Text

X received a message from Signas on the third day.

“In a recent investigation, we discovered there has been a glitch in production amongst recent units stationed in the 0th and 13th unit. Side effects appear to be minimal except for a fondness… of our commander of the 13th unit X. While further investigations are underway, I recommend ignoring any advances.”

Yeah, he was already doing that. If Signas wasn’t his friend he would be a lot more frustrated, and dare he say- annoyed with him. He realizes he shouldn’t be that frustrated. Realistically, Signas can’t do much more than X or Zero can… It’s just a frustrating situation… It isn't his fault. He’s not the one writing these damn letters to him. He throws away 10 more that day.

"I swear, the next letter I get is getting charged shot out the window..." he breathed, glaring at the trash can.

"You didn't get more letters did you?" Zero’s voice thunders behind him.

"E-eh? No! No, of course not!" He turned to face the red reploid, casually crossing his arms.

There’s a slight smile on Zero’s face, a little secret for only him- at least that’s what it feels like. His blue eyes sparkle in the fluorescent lights, ah... he looks particularly beautiful today. His hair is so shiny, and his face is so handsome, his jaw cut so strongly, his lips pink, firm. He dares to say that they are pouty. X has already known that Zero is beautiful. But sometimes… He still leaves him breathless. He’s done so ever since they met. X is sure in hindsight that it was love at first sight, even if it took him ages to realize that was the case.

He remembers how he spotted him across the room, in a sea of people. He stopped to follow him with his eyes. The first thing he saw was how his hair flowed with each step he took, and his armor gleamed in the lights overhead. There were these white instance highlights on his armor that shifted as he passed each light. It pointed out every scuff, dent, and scrape he had accumulated. Considering how Zero always takes care of himself, this must have been from a recent mission, one that he still doesn’t know about. There was a wild look in his eyes that stunned him, the way he moved was so purposeful and determined, he never took his eyes off his far-off destination, and he never stepped an inch out of the line he was creating. X knew he was a man unlike himself. Someone who knew what they wanted to do. Someone who had decided what he wanted to achieve, what change they wanted in the world, and was already marching to a better future. Yes, that was certainly why he had been so attracted to him for so long. Even as X began to understand himself and stand as an equal with him, that feeling never subsided. X can feel it deep in his heart… This is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

And these letters…

God they were starting to piss him off. Especially since they had to be interfering with his relationship with Zero. He couldn’t say he was shocked that Zero wasn’t open about his feelings, but they’ve been friends long enough to know when the other is going through something.

"I'm glad. Maybe that means they will stop soon. " Zero responded, smiling again in the way he does. Where it is so light and gentle on his face it’s like a ghost.

X nearly melted at the sight.

"I hope so… I would feel... very happy if that were the case,” X tried to put it diplomatically.

"Me too." Zero seems surprised that he's said this, his head tilts back a bit, and he blinks a little. He slowly shakes his head, grumbling under his breath.

That’s an obvious example, but still an example. That’s weird. He was so nonchalant about the letters before- what changed?

“I didn’t mean to bother you with it so much.”

"No, that isn't it. I didn't like how much it bothered you is all,” Zero sighs.

“I’d rather talk about our movie plans later this week.” X looks down at the floor. At least there’s some sense of normal still. “I was thinking of inviting Axl-”

“It’s been a while since we did anything together.” Zero interrupts. “I'd rather go… with just you. “

X knows he doesn’t mean it like that, but he can’t manage to do anything other than nod. His heart pounds loudly in his chest… He could pretend it was a date…

No, no, he couldn’t… But the thought is nice.

Zero patted the top of his head, casually walking past him. "I need to talk with my unit. I’ll speak with you later."

"Okay, okay... see you, Zero," He nods.

"See you." He looks back at him with a nod, and then… stays there. He stares at him, his feet ready to move at any time. Not saying anything.

Eventually, X has to speak up. “Zero?”

He hesitates, speaking slowly. “...Did you… meet up with one of the units that confessed to you?”

X makes a face. In his confusion, he shakes his head, “No? Why would I?”

Zero’s expression didn’t change. “No reason. “ It was then he finally turned to leave, and X stared at the place he left.

He couldn’t ignore that. Why would he even bother to ask that? He should talk with Axl; maybe he knew why Zero was acting so odd.

X pulls up the messaging screen inside of his mind and spells out a quick message.

"Hey Axl, I need to talk with you in person. Where are you?”

After a moment he gets a message.

"Kinda busy rn. We'll talk after k?"

Busy. Hm… Probably not doing work… Not that he is doing work either… He’s too busy worrying about Zero. He responds reluctantly.

"Alright. Let me know when.”

..

Axl outwardly sighs a small huff of relief. That message made his heart jump into his throat, he’s a little busy pretending to be him right now. He opens his green eyes to the generic unit in front of him. You know the type, androgynous but male leaning, slender build, plain white face with boxy helmet, hunter insignia on the chest. His big brown eyes are giving him a soft puppy-dog look that’s sickening.

Jeez, these guys do have the hots for X...

"Senpai..." he stutters. "I-it means a lot... that you met up with me."

Yeah, this was weird. Come on and hurry up, we’re in bright daylight in this park and he could be spotted by anyone. God, who even picks the middle of the day for a love confession? So unromantic. The sweeping of cherry blossoms in the moonlight is what makes the moment special duh. You’d think the loverboy would get that.

His- X’s eyes softly crinkle at the edges like they do when talking with strangers. Genuine but not, perfectly mastered.

"I wouldn't want to be rude to someone who took the time to write a letter like that to me…"

He blushed. "But... you don't respond to everyone."

Axl pauses, "My duties keep me for a long time. I can't always respond the way I'd wish."

"I understand. You're very important X... maybe that was why I fell in love,” he gushed.

Axl swallowed. "... As much as I hate to hurt you, I don't think I can accept your proposal."

"I know. You love someone else."

"... Hm?" He blinked, tilting his head.

"Do I need to say? I mean… Everyone knows it’s Zero." He blinks. "You... you like him right?"

"... I..." he blushed. It wasn't hard to replicate X's behavior when it came to Zero. Shy, nervous, stutters. "W-what... Could you mean by that? I'm not- we aren't-”

"You don’t need to be shy with me." He's bold, leaning over to take his hand. "You're the person I love, and I want you to be happy. Zero… would make you a lot happier than I ever could. It isn’t for my sake but… if you haven’t told him… I think you should tell him so you can be happier together.”

Axl is flustered, he wasn’t expecting a declaration like this. It is sweet, he’ll admit, how he seems to care about X’s happiness. That was a lot more than he was giving him credit for.

"U-uh... you... think so...?" His response is unsure, and he mentally curses himself.

"Of course! I can tell by your face... You want to, don't you?" he smirks coyly. Just then, the smirk disappears from the recruit's face. His pale white face pales even further. He looks like a blank sheet of paper. Pulling his hands from his grasp of Axl’s hands he points directly behind him.

Axl feels a cold chill down his spine when he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he quickly recognizes that it is connected to a very familiar shade of blue. He slowly turns his head all the way around and is treated to the soft caring smile of Megaman X, his lips perfectly turned up and symmetrical. The corners of his green eyes are perfectly crinkled. It is a smile mastered after many years of dealing with people’s bullshit, and after studying X’s facial expressions for as long as he had he can tell that it is a smile with no warmth attached. Looking upon it makes him feel as though he has been cast into the blistering winds of the coldest sector on earth- all he can do is give a small yelp.

“Axl…” He says slowly. “I see you are no longer busy.” His head slightly tilted to the recruit, “My apologies. I must borrow my friend. See, he wasn’t supposed to be meeting people like this, I hope you accept my sincerest apologies for the trouble he has caused.”

X’s hand squeezes his shoulder into a death grip Axl has no chance of escaping.

The eyes of the recruit shimmer, “Axl…? You mean- you didn’t come to see me after all? Oh…” his hands tightened into fists and he casts a deeply hurt look at Axl- it makes him feel bad. “I’m glad my feelings were funny to you!” he shouts. Tears stream down his red, anguished face.

Axl flinches, “I didn’t mean to-”

“My feelings weren’t a joke to me!” he interrupts, “I didn’t… care that X was going to reject me… I wanted X to know how much I cared about him, how much I wanted him to be happy!” he wiped his face of tears, sniffling. “I hope you got your laughs in.”

The unit looks into X’s eyes for a moment, eventually looking tearfully away. “I… I loved you.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Axl can’t see his face- it’s more apt to say that he doesn’t want to.

“Don’t be. I'm… really glad I got to tell you- the real you.” he shot a final look at Axl. “Serves you right for lying to me. Hope you have fun now.”

He turned from the pair, and as soon as he did X roughly grabbed his arm, pulling him to look at him. Axl’s eyes immediately turn to the side.

There are a lot of couples in the park today enjoying a wonderful hanami, with the cherry blossoms slowly fluttering in the wind. The landscape is pink and magical. It's like stepping through a schoolgirl anime. He can picture it now, the delicate flower blooms, the perfect blue sky, and the perfect green lawn. Now that he looks at the world in a new way, it is so beautiful. It is romantic, isn’t it? If not crowded with people spread out on picnic blankets, basking in the dotted shade. Surrounded by a bounty of flowers in every shade and hue. Lovely, lovely flowers. Is that a-

“Look at me!” X shouts.

Axl meets his eyes, and is frozen stiff at the look X is giving him- it’s a rage that he only reserves for mavericks, unhinged, unmanaged, loud, and fierce. He grips his arm tightly, dragging him to a more secluded part of the park with a loud babbling lecture.

“I cannot BELIEVE you-”

Axl knows he should listen but his stomach is typing itself into knots. What should I do? What do I say? His cover is blown and, frankly, he’s fucked. Is there even anything he can say to make this scenario better? His mind searches for a lie, any lie to tell him.

He’s going to want to know why I pretended to be him. I can’t tell him it’s because of Zero- if he knew I told him he’d kill me! Then again X isn’t going to let me get away. don’t know if I can stop that from happening at this point. I’m fucked each way you look at it if I tell him if I don’t. But I can’t let that happen! I have to get them together- fuck and he’s going to fucking tell Zero I was pretending to be him and then he’ll know- or at least suspect- that the picture I took was me! There’s no way to get around that either AH! Fuck I’m so fucked! I’m so fucking fucked there’s no way I can get out of this, but I can’t let Zero know I lied to him and I can’t have X find out Zero likes him, shit what do I do?!

“Well?”

Axl stares blankly at him. The world before, the world of happy couples and pink blooms doesn’t exist anymore. He is alone with X. There are whispers of cherry blossom buds, scattering pink petals amongst the sidewalk, but that is it. The sunlight peaks between the darkened branches overhead, and he is blinded for a moment.

There wasn’t anything he could say.

"Axl.”

He could feel the sweat drip down his forehead. “...”

“Axl.” his tone is a little more forceful this time. “I need you to tell me why you did that.”

Axl looks down at the cracked sidewalk and shakes his head. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“You know what I want- don’t play dumb!” he snaps, “All I need to know is Why. Why in the world did you do that? I get that sometimes you want to pretend to be me to mess with people, but-”

“I know, I know. I shouldn’t, that’s not how I… You want to know and fuck-” he presses a hand against his head, “I don’t have anything to say.”

“Nothing to say?! What do you mean nothing to say?! That’s ridiculous-” he blinks, and a spark of rage flashes over his face. “You’re the reason that Zero is acting strange! Aren’t you?!” He jabs a finger into Axl’s face and Axl flinches. “You- he found you and thought it was me, didn’t he? Y-you’ve done this more than once?! How could you Axl!?!” his voice heightens until it cracks and he turns red, clearing his voice before continuing. “I know you don’t understand-”

“There isn’t anything I can say X! There’s like- like, no good reason for it! I get that, I get it, there wasn’t a good reason. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

There’s silence for a moment. They stare at each other, X presses a hand to his glowing red power gem, thinking.

“Did a maverick force you to do that?”

Axl shakes his head. “No. No… No one forced me. I… I decided to do that.” he admitted.

“If a maverick didn’t make you do that… then I fail to see why you needed to do that- or why it is a secret you can’t tell me,” he crosses his arms. “So, I’m waiting. Why?”

He’s going to have to keep waiting. He’s in deep shit, deep deep shit. He has no way of getting out of this, trying to even think of a plan that would smooth over this mess was impossible. His mind ran a million miles a minute and he knew it was a matter of time before he said something stupid-

“Why does that bother you so much?” Axl blurts out, “It’s not like I was doing anything dangerous.”

“That doesn’t matter!” he shouts, startling Axl. “Not being dangerous does not make it right! Why were you pretending to be me and turning down a member of my unit? Which, by the way, I didn’t even know about this one, I don’t read the letters! This means you’ve been diving into my trash and reading love letters not for you! To meet with strangers- to do what? Mess with me? Well- it isn’t funny Axl!”

He flinches from the look he gives him.

“Frankly Axl I’m not looking for an apology. I just don’t get why you would have put in all this effort, it’s ridiculous! Ridiculous! I… I just… You don’t understand… What this means to me.”

His expression softens. “ I need you to talk to me.”

“...I do know what this means to you X… and… I made a mistake in trying to mess with that.” he sighs, “X… I know you love Zero.” Axl put his head in his hands. “Alia was right. I shouldn’t have tried to get mixed up in this.”

X’s face flickers through anger, sadness, and bewilderment. He takes a long moment, thinking silently before he speaks. “I see. So Alia told you. Then you decided to play Cupid? Axl… You should have known better.”

“How’d you know?” He feels like shrinking into a ball.

“Axl, I can put two and two together. Asimov… of course she would tell you… I knew you wouldn’t figure it out.” His face flushes and he clears his throat, “Well… At least. I hoped you wouldn’t. It’s so like you to do something like this. I know you mean well Axl, but there’s nothing that will get us together. Zero doesn't like me like that.”

“I know that I should’ve left it up to you guys but- you- you shouldn’t be so sure about that! I mean… It’s just that Alia is right, it’s ridiculous that even though it’s been decades you won’t say anything to him!”

“That’s enough Axl.”

“I’m serious! How long are you going to hold back-”

“I said that’s enough!”

“No, it isn’t!” Axl insists, “You don’t get it! What if you told Zero and he liked you back? Then what? What if the guy you have loved your entire life likes you too?”

“Zero has only loved one person Axl! He loved a woman! You don’t know what happened-”

“I do! He told me! Unlike you. You wouldn’t tell me-”

“Axl don’t you dare try to imply that I should have told you about my crush, it doesn't involve you.” he snapped.

“I would have told you! Zero I get, but you?!”

“Axl you’re acting like a child,” his face is scarily calm. “ Alia figured it out on her own. I would have never told her.”

“Why would it be such a bad thing for people to know-”

“BECAUSE ZERO IS MY BEST FRIEND! NOT YOURS!” he screams, “Don’t pretend to understand things that you don’t! You don’t understand what would happen if I lost him- if I lost him because of this stupid feeling I can’t get over! I can’t… You have no idea what it is like!” X has tears running down his face. “You couldn’t have helped me, no one can help me! Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you understand that this isn’t about you?!”

Axl is silent. He has never seen X this upset in his life. His face is red, his shaking all over, and his eyes are squeezed shut, as his teeth are grit together.

“You need to tell him what you did…” he shook, wiping the tears from his face, “Then I’ll forgive you.”

“X, I just-”

“Good intentions, I know that. I know you have good intentions but good intentions mean nothing. The road to hell is paved with good intentions Axl. If I could forgive everyone with good intentions, I could even find forgiveness for Sigma but that won’t happen will it?!”

Axl’s eyes were wet, “I’m not Sigma. I just… I just wanted to help you. I wanted to help you and Zero. I thought… You two would be happier together.”

“That will never happen. He doesn’t love me. I need to be left alone.” he turns sharply.

Axl hangs his head to the ground.

Why didn’t I take Alia’s advice?

…

“Alia.”

“What is it X?” she types on her computer faster than he can see her fingers. She pauses to take a drink and looks up, her puffy eyebags are a little green. She blinks when she sees his face.

“Have you been crying?”

His face is still red, and when he glances into the mirror he sees his under eyes are swollen. He sighs, “Yes I have. Why did you tell Axl?”

“What did he do?!” she snaps, a little too loudly. One of the navigators looks over. “I swear to Asimov-”

“Why did you tell him?”

“Because I was shocked he didn’t figure it out! It’s obvious!”

“Alia… That’s not giving me a lot of confidence.”

“Well, that’s how it is. I told him out of shock. I know I should’ve known better but I told him not to get involved. Now… tell me what he did, and if I can help I will.”

X thinks for a moment, folding his hands in front of him. “He… pretended to be me to… meet up with my admirers, and then told Zero about the encounters ‘I,’” he made air quotes, “was having. To make him jealous, I think.”

Alia swallows her oil with wide eyes. “Woof. Jesus. That kid…”

“I know. Ridiculous… What did he think would happen? Sometimes I wonder if he thinks at all.”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“Well, sorry but I didn’t ask for his help, or whatever he thought he was doing,” he snaps.

Alia reads him, her unimpressed face saying everything she needs to say.

“What?”

“It’s just that… No, nothing.”

“Alia, you can tell me.”

“It’s just… Why are you so upset over this?”

“He’s messing with my relationship with Zero. Why else would I be upset?”

She thinks about this, “Well sure… But… No, I shouldn’t say anything.”

“Alia, if you think I should hear it, you can tell me.” The good thing about the navigator base is that everyone is too busy to think about listening in on their conversations. And the unlimited PTO.

“...Fine. X, why were you worried about your relationship?”

“Because Zero was starting to act strange- I was worried something happened and it was just Axl’s stupid antics.”

A light flickers in Alia’s eye. “Why did you think that made Zero upset?”

“Well, I don’t know about upset-”

“X you can be so slow sometimes. Why would that have bothered him?’

“I’m not slow, Zero was just worried about my reputation,” he snaps at her.

“Yes, but why didn’t he just say that when he found out?”

He blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah. He was jealous. It worked.”

“That isn’t it,” he insists. “Why would he be jealous?”

“...” she taps her desk impatiently.

His face flushes, “besides that. It isn’t- it’s not like that Alia.”

“...” Alia sighs. “The thing about that X… is… you… Never asked him, did you? And how are you going to know if you never say anything to him?”

“You know it’s not that easy… it’s… too big of a risk to take,” he struggles to say.

“Is it though? I don’t think this would destroy your friendship. You have given everything you can to stay by Zero’s side, and Zero has done the same. I know I don’t need to remind you that he survived death. Twice. Do you want to hear what I honestly think?”

X nods. “It is fucked up that you think Zero would give up on your friendship. Zero is a lot of things, but he’s never been the kind of guy to think less about someone because of how they feel. At this point X, you would have to turn maverick for Zero to think less of you.”

“But-”

“Think about it like this. If Zero loved you-”

X turns red at the word.

“-Would you think any less of him? Wouldn’t you want to continue being friends with him? I mean come on, maybe if you guys were friends for a few months but you’ve known him for decades. Don’t you trust him more than that? I thought you trusted him with every fiber of your being or something cheesy like that.” She gives him a pointed look, “Am I wrong, or are you going to let me go back to work?”

X is thinking about these words, his brain kicking into high gear, he thoughtfully considers her words for a few silent minutes. His green eyes glow softly as he sits with one leg over the other, his chin resting on his hand. Alia turns back to her work, as he is illuminated in the soft light of her computer screen. Suddenly, he stands up, posture straight and eyes locked straight ahead, he briefly glances at Alia, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Alia, you’re right. It is fucked up that I don’t trust him like that. The Zero I know would never abandon me like that, and I wouldn’t abandon him like that.”

“So,” Alia tilts her head back, blonde hair sweeping across the back of her computer chair, “Are you going to tell him?”

“I’m going to have to. I…” His eyes flick to the ground, and back up to the exit. “...I… need to move on. I think that I have been torturing myself with these thoughts that perhaps one day… one day I can be with him, and these… just today I was thinking to myself… That I wanted to pretend that my movie engagement with him was a date.” he raked a hand over his helmet like it was hair. “I couldn’t, but… it’s… You think it’s pathetic right?”

Alia’s voice is quiet, “I don’t X. That’s what love does to you. “

“I know. I’ve been living with it for over a decade… Alia… I know it’s for the best but… I don’t… know what I would do after he rejected me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous X, The worst that would happen is that things would stay the same.” She raises an eyebrow. “And isn’t that what you wanted?”

“...You’re right.”

She giggles at his expression, it’s just so- oh she doesn't even have words, and he sends her a confused look that makes her giggle and titter even more. “You need to talk to someone about these things more often, it’s eaten you up enough. You know you don’t need more things to worry about right?”

“...Maybe that’s why Axl was upset.” he blinks.

‘Probably. I would feel the same way, you didn’t even tell him about Vile. I mean- come on.”

“Yeah he complained about that to me too…” his eyes shifted to his side. “...I went off on him.”

“Now that was justified. I warned him.”

“ I know he did but he… Probably feels like…we don’t trust him.”

“You didn’t.”

“I know. I’ll make it up to him.”

“After you speak to Zero.”

“What would I even say?” he looks at his hands, and Alia notices they are shaking. She takes his hands and squeezes.

“You’re overthinking it. Just give him the truth. Everything you want to say- just let it out. But you know… I think, and Axl thinks that he likes you too.”

X rapidly shook his head, “Thank you for trying to make me feel better.”

Oh well. He’ll see. “Sure. Just tell me what happens after.”

He walks strangely across the navigator base, joints locked as he glides across the floor. He sends unsure looks back- like he doesn’t know what he’s doing is right. She sends him a thumbs up and he nods, pushing open the doors to a world of light that makes multiple navigators hiss and yowl. It’s honestly a beautiful sight to see X standing proudly in the bright fluorescent light, his armor gleaming, and only his back cast in deep shadow.

It’s easy to remember why she fell for him. A long, long time ago she couldn’t see the long looks they gave each other when the other wasn’t facing them. The wistful glances they’d share, and- oh- how could she forget? All they ever do is talk about each other. God, it’s an annoying, odious love that never falters or quits. It’s a love that lasts a lifetime no, multiple lifetimes. A love that can span the infinite cosmos of the stars above. A love that could conquer all. She is so jealous that she can’t stand it, envious, and relieved that they will finally be more than “just friends.”

It will be the beautiful cultivation of a decades-long dance, a finale she will have to miss.

…

Zero is pissed off.

He couldn’t even muster the words to chew out Axl. Part of it was because everything he wanted to say X had already said it. He was just as angry as he should have been, and far too relieved than he liked to admit.

X wasn’t meeting up with anyone… As angry as he was at Axl for lying, he was happier than he expected that it wasn’t true. X hadn’t ignored his wishes. He wasn’t interested in meeting up with any strangers- and he never would. The relief that day was frightening and palpable, succulent and sweet. Lots of words, words he couldn’t use to piece together how he felt. How he was feeling was too messy and too complicated. It isn’t very often he wishes this- but sometimes he longed for when times were simpler. X and Zero- senpai and kohai.

But he can’t return to then, and he wouldn’t even if he was given the chance. To see how X’s eyes sparkle is a priceless gift. The way his chest knots when he sees him deep in thought at his computer screen, and then his tongue juts out, carefully licking his lips only confirms one obvious fact. They can’t ever return to the way things were.

He loves him too much to be just friends- and he’s certain that the feeling is love. Yet here they were. Stuck. But he can only blame himself, his cowardice, and his fear.

He receives a message from X.

“I need to speak to you. Alone. It’s urgent.”

Zero messages him back lazily. Everything is always urgent. His heart is too heavy to be put completely into his work, and he takes this thought with great shame. His work is the only thing he is good at. It isn’t as though he’s good at love, expressing himself, or doing anything that isn’t what he is supposed to do. He’s a war machine, just like he told Axl.

He looks down at the cityscape below. He remembers the time X told him that the lights were stars that twinkled on the earth. His unromantic heart stirs at the thought.

His typing is slow, “Sure. I’m in my room. How serious is it?”

“Very. I’m on my way now. Did Axl speak to you?”

“Yes. I’m very disappointed.” Zero types this at his usual rate.

“I am too. But.. after thinking about it some more, we should have trusted him more than we have. He’s our number 2, not just another unit in an army. We need to act like partners.”

Zero blinks. That makes sense. “I like that he doesn’t know.”

“Oh. I never considered that before. I think… subconsciously I liked that too. Jeez.”

"I suppose this is why we work well together,” Zero hums as he writes.

“Zero.”

Zero waits for X to continue. When he doesn’t, he messages him again.

“Yes, X?”

“What would I have to do for you to not be partners anymore?”

Zero’s kneejerk reaction is to ask why, but he suppresses that. If it’s X asking he has a reason. He considers it carefully and carefully writes out a message.

“You would have to turn maverick. I feel like no other issue we could work through. Why?”

There’s a knock at the door, Zero realizes he has curled into a very comfortable spot at his window and is disappointed to leave it. Nevertheless, he opens the door, and standing there is X. X peers into his clean, undecorated room. He’s teased him about it before, how it looks like the promotion photos on the headquarters website. Zero can somehow feel the cogs in X’s head whirling, and right when he looks like he’s going to say something he stops himself. Zero blinks, and he almost feels disappointed.

“Hey,” Zero doesn’t know what else to say.

X gives him a curt nod. “Hello.” Zero shifts to the side, letting him into his place. The door shuts with a soft click. “What do you need to tell me?”

“I need a moment,” X sighs, staring out the window. “Could you do me a favor?”

Zero nods, “I suppose I don’t mind.”

X turns to him. Zero realizes now that his face is making an odd expression. X is staring at him… the way he stared at him when he left to board that fateful shuttle that took him to the space colon. It’s not sad, or remorseful. It is just… acceptance. Acceptance. He doesn’t know how he could read that, maybe it’s because of how long he has known him. He knows he can’t read anyone else like that.

“Can you hug me?”

“What?” it slips out of Zero. When he realizes what X had said he simply repeats it, “What?”

‘I know.” he gives a soft smile. “It’s weird.”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t know if it is. I know that you have never asked me before.”

“True… Would you have given me one when I asked before?”

Zero thinks about it. “After the second war. I would have. I wouldn’t have the first war. Sorry.”

“No, that makes sense.” he raises his arms.

“Are you sure you want to hug me?” Zero resists the urge to step back, “I’m not very good at it.”

X chuckles, “I don’t mind. It’s you Zero.”

Zero hopes his face is still level. X… Asimov. He’s the only one that forces him to hold back…

His arms go around his waist, and his hands rest on his hips. X is a little shorter than him, and his helmet is tucked perfectly under his chin. He can feel the smooth metal surface tickle him, and the coolness of it is soothing to him. He tries to fight the urge to tighten the embrace, that would be taking it a step too far. Embracing like this is dangerous. When X’s arms go around his sides he feels something spark. It’s dangerous, a truly wild and vivid thought that gnaws at him.

Just as soon as the moment began, it ended. X pulls back, smiling… sadly at him. “Thank you.”

“...Shouldn’t that have made you happy?” Zero asks.

“Any other time it would have.” X meets his eyes. “Zero… I like you.”

What a strange thing to say. “I… like you as well X.”

“No.” X shakes his head and his face flushes. “That wasn’t the right thing to say. I need to just… I need to just tell you…” He takes a deep breath. “The way I like you is different from the way you like me Zero. I’ve… had these feelings for a long time…” He glances out to the window to the starry cityscape. Zero follows his gaze as he continues. His fingertips touch the surface of the glass, “Do you remember when you sacrificed yourself... So I could defeat Sigma? I think… that was when it started. Ever since then… There had been something that led me… to fight… Over and over again… And after a while… I realized that you were my reason to keep going.”

He looks over at him. “Do you understand what I’m saying now?” his eyes shimmer, closing themselves. “I know that you like me Zero. Of course, you like me. But I don’t like you. I love you.”

Zero couldn't get to X faster. He takes his shoulders tightly gripping them. He can't hold back any longer, he feels himself falling apart with all those complicated feelings X is always giving him. He doesn't want to hold back anymore. He wants… he wants… he wants X.

X stares up at him, blinking in shock.

“Ze-”

"X." he squeezes his shoulders. He can feel his chest burning. "Do I have permission to kiss you?”

“What?” X blurts out.

Zero leans forward, feeling his cheeks turn red “I will repeat myself only one time. Do I have permission to kiss you?”

"W-why would you want to kiss me?"

"I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time. I love you."

“What?”

“Why is this so shocking to you? You’re the one who said it first.”

“To get over you! I-I didn’t think-” X’s face is adorably flustered, looking everywhere but his face.

“So I can’t kiss you?”

“You can I just-”

“That’s all I needed to hear,” Zero finally, finally closed the distance. X feels still in his grasp, as he finds warm, desperate relief. He’s stunned to find an overwhelming crashing feeling. Feeling. He feels more than he knew he could.

Oh. Maybe he’s right. Maybe Axl was right. He should have talked to someone about this. It was hard… it was hard… it was… so hard… dealing with this on his own. These… damn feelings. Feelings, fucking feelings… Isn’t this supposed to feel good? Why does it hurt? It hurts… it hurts dammit! Zero feels himself fall to his knees, still clutching X’s shoulders for dear life. He gasps for breath, his chest thudding with a horrible longing that he realizes is familiar.

“Zero…?” X tilts up his head and gasps when he sees his face. Zero understands why, he doesn’t know how to explain the tears streaming down his face.

“You’re crying.” X wipes his tears away with his hand and Zero closes his eyes.

“I don’t know why.”

“Maybe I do. Zero… Are you sure?”

“Sure?’

“Sure that you… Like me?”

“I don’t understand why I wouldn’t be,” he mumbles. “I was so certain just now that I wanted to kiss you. But then… My chest hurt. But I still want to kiss you. Sorry.”

“Asimov…My chest hurts too. But… I also feel… So… so relieved… and embarrassed. I feel so many different things Zero.”

When Zero opens his eyes X is crying as well. But his tears are different. X’s entire face is so bright, it is like light, and his smile is genuine perfect white. His tears and eyes are bathed in angelic holy white, shining with flecks of silver and gold.

“We feel the same,” he stares at him in awe. “We feel the same way X. I feel all of those things… and I feel even more things.”

X sniffles and big droplets roll down his face. Zero finds that there are even more tears on his face as well. Zero touches his cheek and is still surprised to find that his glove is wet.

“You love me?” X croaks out.

“X…” he finds the strength to stand up. He kisses where his tears stain his cheeks, stroking the top of his smooth, cool helmet. That feels good… He feels even happier than before.

X’s shoulders shake, and his voice is quiet. “How long…?” his voice trembles.

“I don’t know,” Zero says honestly. “I have no clue. By the time I realized it, I had those feelings for… maybe even years.”

“Say… that… you love me again. I don’t believe… I don’t believe that I’m awake,” he sobs.

“I love you, X.”

“Say it again!”

“I love you.”

“Again!” “I love you X!” Zero roars, pulling him into another embrace. His heart is still pounding, pounding, and his chest hurts, but less so now. It’s manageable.

“Zero- you’re crushing me.”

“Oh.” Zero feels his face turn red, and he releases his grip.

“I’m not dreaming,” X looks stunned.

“When will you believe that I feel the same as you X?”

“I-I just…” X felt his helmet. “I’ve felt this way… even longer than you. Even… before Iris. And… I always always thought… If I told you… I would ruin everything.”

“Why would that change anything?” Zero blinks at him.

“...Pfft…” he sobs through his laughter, grinning so hard it had to hurt. “I should’ve known you would say that! And I worried myself sick for so long…” his hand tangled itself in Zero’s hair, and he gently stoked his fingers through. With a tilt of his head, he stands on his tiptoes into a kiss that leaves Zero wide-eyed.

…

“Mission accomplished!” Axl sets off a confetti canon. The loud pop echoes through their room, and dusts pink and blue confetti all over X and Zero’s shared room. Covered in photos and books and plants, ceiling to floor and ceiling again. The white walls are hard to see under all the exuberant items X owns. But Axl has always really liked that about X’s room. He recognizes the low table in the middle of the room from X’s place. They all sit on the floor, with hot green tea prepared by Zero.

X should tell him off, but he gently squeezes Zero’s hand underneath the table, and thanks him with a warm smile. “Thank you. Now clean it up.”

“Aw man…” he pouts. “Don’t I get any credit?”

“You’re pushing it,” Zero warns. He can feel X squeezing his hand.

“Hm… fine… I didn’t do it to gloat or anything. You guys are happy- that’s what matters.”

“Axl…” X couldn’t help but feel touched. He took a sip of his tea to collect his thoughts.

“So, when’s the wedding?”

X spits out his tea.

“We haven’t discussed that,” Zero says calmly as X flounders next to him.

“I-I haven’t thought that far ahead yet Axl,” X coughs.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Zero sips on his tea, “You want to pick out some rings?”

“You know what those are?” Ax’s eyebrows raise.

“X told me once,” He turns back to X, “What do you think?”

“...I…I need some time,” X responds truthfully.

“That’s fine. I would wait forever,” Zero squeezes his hand.

X can’t look at him- especially since he knows he’s telling the truth.

“Oh,” Axl puts a hand over his mouth, “I just witnessed the engagement…”

“Axl…” X warns.

“He does have a point. If he hadn’t interfered you would have never said anything.”

“Maybe but I don’t want to encourage him to play Cupid again.”

Axl leans on the table, his face resting on his hands. He has a big lazy smile that reaches from either end of his face. “I won't, I promise. I know I was lucky. Congrats you two, I’m really glad you told me.”

X and Zero softly smile, cheeks slightly flushing pink. “Of course, we would tell you Axl,”

Axl just eyes them in response.

“Oh, we’re going to tell Alia next. Do you want to come with me?”

“Would I?!” Axl jumps up from his seat, spilling over his tea. “Damn! It tasted good too!”

X chuckles, takes out his handkerchief, and dabs at the table, “We can make more when we get back.”

“You promise?”

“It’s the least we can do.”

“Hehe, since it was because of me right?”

“Axl-”

“I would just let it go, X,” Zero puts an arm around him, leading him out the door.

X knew Zero was right, and what he also knew was that Axl would never be letting it go. He would gloat until the end of time that he was the one that got X and Zero together. Well, he's going to be in for a rude awakening when Alia takes credit for that as well. He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of his arm around him.

“I love you, Zero.”

He feels Zero’s lips against his cheek. “I want to hear say that forever.”

“What happened to the Zero that had a hard time expressing himself?” X teases.

“I don’t know,” he responds honestly. “But I think it’s only because it’s you.”

X could say the same thing. It’s because it’s you.