Chapter Text
Maybe what they were doing was wrong, maybe the three of them could have found a better way to deal with their problems, maybe they had gone too far now to stop.
Or maybe it was right, maybe it was time they showed them what pain felt like, maybe it was finally their turn to put themselves first, consequences be damned.
Mew had lived his life fairly simply since he had been young. He had a loving family and a close circle of friends he could always count on, and as of recently he had also gained a boyfriend he liked very much. Mew knew that he could trust his friends and his boyfriend, or at least he had thought so.
All his beliefs had crumbled in one night, a few words from an almost stranger and all his castle came crumbling down. It was night where the clouds were so packed up in the sky that no stars or the moon were visible. Maybe it had been a sign for the universe to Mew, a sign he had ignored, only bringing an umbrella with him, like it could protect him from what was going to happen in only a few hours.
That night Mew had decided to go out with Ray to a bar his friend usually went to. Going out drinking wasn’t something that he did very often, preferring drinking at home with his friends, chilling and talking rather than being squashed by strangers dancing.
Dating Top had changed him, his point of view making a new light shine on the world that Mew had known for years, making Mew see the other side of the coin. Maybe it was true that relationships changed you, but Mew was certain that if that was what was happening, then the changes were all for the better.
The bar was a rather low-key one, where they played music at a reasonable volume, so that the customers could drink and talk with each other without having to scream over the music in order to be heard. Mew and Ray were sitting at a table by themselves, drinking something fruity that had the sole purpose of making them feel light rather than getting them drunk.
“I’m happy that you came here with me tonight” Ray said and Mew smiled at his friend. Since his relationship with Top had started he had had less time to hang out with his friends, but he was intent on changing that. He had always judged those who disappeared after getting into a relationship and he didn’t want to become the very thing he had judged for years.
“Me too”.
Every few minutes he would check his phone, since he hadn’t heard from Top since the morning and he was growing anxious as to why. Usually Top would reply as fast as he could, except for when he was in class or at the gym, but he had never been this silent.
“Waiting for a call?”
Ray's question had been innocent, but the tone he had used had sounded weird to Mew’s ears. He knew that Ray didn’t like Top very much and the fact that the two of them were in a relationship, but he had hoped that with time passing Ray would have least accepted the fact.
Mew wasn’t stupid, he knew that Ray had had an interest for him for quite some time now, but he had also seen him getting closer to Sand, a boy who went to the same university as them, and he had hoped that what was happening between the two of them had distracted Ray from his one-sided crush on Mew, but apparently not.
He decided to reply anyway, even though he knew what Ray would say to him in response. “Just waiting for Top to answer me back”.
“Can’t I have you for just one night?”. This was not what Mew expected Ray to say, and it must have been showing on his face, because his friend got closer and started speaking again. “You’ve been with him almost every day for months now, can’t I have my best friend for just one night?”
“You make it sound like I’m a toy that you and Top have to share and tonight is your turn”. Maybe it was the alcohol that had made him reply that way, but if there was something that he had learned from being with Top was speaking his mind and taking what he wanted.
Sure, he had spent as much time as possible getting to know Top, but he still hung out with his friends regularly, both in uni and outside of it. Boston and Namchueam had understood him, encouraging him to live the relationship to the fullest, but Ray was another story.
Sadness showed on Ray’s face. “It’s not like that and you know it. I just want my best friend with me for one night, without him checking his phone every two minutes for a message from his boyfriend”.
Mew didn’t know what to say in response. Lately Top and Ray had been making him feel like there were two versions of him, the boyfriend and the best friend, two versions that he wanted so badly to coexist, but they wouldn’t let him. He didn’t want to choose a side, how could he choose between the boy he loved and his best friend, who he also loved in a whole different way?
Luckily for him, Ray’s phone started ringing and he excused himself to reply outside of the bar. Usually nothing could keep Ray from spending time with Mew, but the face Ray had pulled after looking at the called id made Mew think that it must have been important.
He looked around the bar, watching what other people were doing. There were a few groups of friends who were drinking together and then, littered around the dark corners, there were also couples kissing or talking with their faces very close.
Focusing again on his table, he took his phone in hand. He checked the time and realized that he and Ray had been in the bar for almost an hour now, but there was still an hour until midnight struck. He quickly opened the chat with Top and noticed all the unread messages he had sent the other boy.
He was so intent on looking at his phone that he almost didn’t notice someone sitting down on the chair next to him.
“Don’t you hate it too when he does that?” The stranger asked and Mew turned around recognizing Sand’s voice. “What?” he asked, clearly confused at both the question and the one who had asked it. The fact that Ray and Sand had been closer lately hadn’t meant that Mew had also had the opportunity to talk with him and he was surprised by the interaction.
Sand smirked. “Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t do that with you”. Sand’s tone was condescending and Mew was surprised by it.
He looked around the room and noticed the fact that there was nobody around him and Sand. From what Sand had said and the way he was looking at him, it was obvious that he was talking with him, but Mew really didn’t know what the boy was talking about.
“What?” he asked once again, hoping for a real answer this time around.
Sand smiled again, drinking from his bottle of beer. “He always does that, invites you somewhere and then disappears because he has found something - or someone - better to do”. His tone is bitter now and Mew has finally connected the dots, but just to be sure he asks. “Are you talking about Ray?”
“Obviously” Sand says, tone annoyed. He looks at Mew up and down. “But I guess you’re the one he runs to, rather than the one he runs from.” He takes another sip from his bottle and he opens his mouth to say something else, before he stops, as if he’s debating if saying something is worth it or not.
“If you have something to say, spit it out now” Mew says. “I’m really not in the mood for your little games. They might work on Ray, but they won’t on me”.
Mew is expecting Sand to joke about how he could make Mew happier than Ray or some other cheesy pick-up line, but instead he doesn't. “Is Top your first boyfriend?” Sand asks, surprising Mew. Instead of playing hard to get, he replies truthfully. “Yes”
“Interesting, and let me guess, he was your first time too”. It’s not a question, not really, he’s more an affirmation.
“I don’t see how this is relevant.” Mew says, turning around to fully face Sand, who has lost more and more of his smile.
“I think it is. In the four years that we’ve been at university I’ve seen all of your best friends date people left and right. They're the life of the party, always the first to arrive and the last to leave, but not you, never you.”
Mew frowns at the insinuation. “And what about it? I don’t like to party that much, I came here to study.”
“Oh, you did” The other boy smiles in a way that makes Mew look at the door, urging Ray to come back. “But you were helped too”.
“I wasn't- '' Mew tried to protest, but Sand interrupted him. “Tell me, how did you and Top meet?”
“I don’t see how this is relevant, once again”. He looks at the door once again, but it looks like Ray is going to take more than anticipated with the call.
“Answer me Mew. People have been lying to you for so long and I’m tired of it”.
Mew is surprised to hear Sand’s words. It would be possible for this to be a way for Sand to take revenge on Ray, but there is still a part of him that has faith in people and he wants that part to win. But then, what is what Sand just said supposed to mean? Who has been lying to Mew, and if Sand, a stranger, knows about it, then how bad is it really?
Instead of asking more questions, he replies to the one Sand asked earlier. “Boston introduced us”.
Mew doesn’t expect the words that come out of Sand’s mouth next.
Sand nods, like everything is making sense, before he speaks once again. “You’re a nice guy, Mew.” Sand starts counting with his fingers at everything he notes about Mew and it’s making him a little uncomfortable. “You’re top of the class, nice, polite, you come from a good family, you have a nice body and a nice face, you always smile at others and never get yourself in trouble. You're smart, but you don't brag about it and help people with coursework and lectures, and never ask for anything in return. Doesn’t it seem weird to you that no one ever tried to approach you until Top came along?”
“As you said, I’m never at parties.” Mew tries to countersay, but even to his ears it's a weak defense.
“Yeah, but you spend your whole day at uni, and when you’re not there you’re at the library studying or in some cafe or in some other place. You’re telling me that nobody in four years saw you and thought about asking you out?”
Mew is conflicted about what Sand’s telling him. The first year he had been so excited about leaving his parents’ house to live alone, about starting uni and all the new people he had met that dating hadn’t even crossed his mind. It was the year where he had tried the most to go out and to make friends, until he had settled into his routine, happy to have at his side a few trusted people, happy to put a big part of his time to studying and improving himself.
The second year it had stung a little that while all of his friends had dates and relationships he was still single, but that had allowed him to concentrate more on his studies, and so he hadn’t thought about it that much. Sometimes it stung, when Ray, Boston and Namchueam would come back home in the morning, clothes disheveled and Mew knew, without them having to tell him, that they had spent a great night with some great company. There was a certain smile that they had on their face, a satisfied one, one that Mew had never seen on his face.
The third year had been the same as the second, and finally in his fourth year he had met Top and everything had changed. Mew had discovered a part of him that he wasn’t aware even existed, he had looked at himself in the mirror after spending the night with Top and he had seen that same smile on his face, the smile of satisfaction.
Boston had introduced them, telling Mew that he and Top had known each other because they shared many classes and had also gone to the same gym. It had been the first time that Mew had taken up on Boston’s offers to make him meet someone. Namchueam had tried to set him up on dates too, but he had always refused like he had done with Boston, until he had realized that him and the people that parties every weekend were going to get the same degree and he had decided to let loose a little. Ray had been the only one to never try to push Mew to meet someone.
Sand smiled, happy that his words had moved something inside of Mew. Was his intern turmoil so evident that Sand, a stranger, could tell about Mew confliction?
“I’ll tell you, Mew, because I’m sick of them taking advantage of us”. Before Mew could focus on who “them” was, Sand started talking again, and this time Mew wasn’t prepared for what he was about to hear. “I don’t know if you are aware - but if you aren’t then you’re as thick as bricks - but Ray has a crush on you, and it has been going on since your second year of uni. He certainly dated other people, using them as he pleased, discarding them as soon as he got bored, waiting for you to notice him, but he wasn’t above taking away from you that choice.”
“What?” Mew asked for maybe the third time, more out of reflex than anything else, his voice barely above a whisper.
Sand is looking at him, sadness returning to his eyes. “Ray made sure that everyone knew that he was interested in you and that everybody else was forbidden from laying eyes upon you. Maybe you remember the guy that sent you a bouquet of roses in your third year”. Mew could only nod. “Well, let’s say that Ray made it very fucking clear to him that if ever tried to do that again he would have to learn how to walk without his legs. And don’t think he was the only one, or the one who payed the highest price.”
Mew is listening to Sand list all of the things Ray did to make sure that nobody would ever get too close to him. Suddenly everything clicked, why no one had ever approached him in all those years, why if someone was talking with him they would disappear once they saw Ray coming, how some people would be nice to him one day and then proceed to ignore him without an apparent reason. He knew Ray was cruel when he wanted to, his money only making things easier for him, but Mew had never thought that that cruelty would be directed towards him.
He isn’t aware of the tears running down his face until Sand tries to wipe them away gently. Mew looks at him and he knows what he must look like, sad, disappointed, betrayed.
“Why are you telling me this?” Mew asks, unsure of what Sand could gain from their interaction. “I mean, you could be telling me lies only to make me and Ray argue. I know that there is something going on between the two of you.”
His words anger Sand and it shows. “There was something between me and Ray, but it's dead. Weeks have passed since the last time I talked to him." Mew notes how Sand says dead instead of done. "And fine, don’t believe me. I told you this because I’m sick of the lies, and truth to be told, Ray isn’t the only one who’s lying to you.”
“Who else?” Mew has to know, he has to. “Who else lied to me, Sand?”
Sand shakes his head. “No, I won’t tell you now, Ray must be coming back any minute now.” He gets up from his chair, but Mew can’t let him go now, so he grabs him by the arm. He wants to know the truth, and if Sand is the only one that can tell him, then he can’t let him go.
“Let’s say I believe everything you told me now, will you tell me who else is lying to me?”
Sand is looking between Mew’s face and the door. “Look into Ray’s computer for proof of what I just told you. If you’ll fully believe me by then, I’ll tell you everything. I’m not doing this for me, I don’t care wheter you’ll decide to look into what I told you or not.”
Mew nods, letting go of Sand’s arm and the other boy starts to walk away, but after a few steps he’s stopped by Mew. “Will you help me with revenge too?”
The other boy turns around. “There is nothing I do better than revenge”.
When Ray comes back, he notices that there is something different with Mew, the way he talks with him and the way he looks at him, but he decides not to press too much into the matter, assuming that Mew is just mad about what he said earlier and the fact that he left for a phone call.