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Conversation with the Straw hat crew was a task that Law absolutely dreaded every day. Not because any of them were particularly unappealing to talk to, all of them had some kind of quirk that made them interesting, but because of one very simple thing: the language barrier. It wasn’t much at first, despite all of them speaking with different accents, they all understood each other well enough, but the first signs of potential miscommunication was briefly after Punk Hazard while Law was talking to the Navigator.
“We just go forwards, it’s difficult to get lost.” He said while she nodded, noting something down on her charts.
“I got it, we’ll make it in 3 days as the crow flies.” The navigator drew a few more markings on her papers, and began to pack up as Law blinked.
“Excuse me?”
“Hm?” she looked at him, confused.
“What you said- as the crow flies?”
“What about it?”
“I don’t seem to understand.”
The navigator tilted her head and pursed her lips. “It means to go in a straight line, or to follow the shortest route. It’s a popular saying I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it before.”
Law felt a little offended at that last comment.
“I think you mean in air line. We travel in air line. That’s the idiom for traveling in a direct straight line.”
The navigator shrugged, “must be a regional thing.”
And that was the end of that conversation.
___________
Law found himself wondering quietly about the various accents of the Straw Hat crew. They were an incredibly dynamic group of course, with at least one member representing the north, east, south and west seas. There were a few who had roots in a similar region, but even amongst those, the dialects and accents differed drastically. Take The Swordsman and the Navigator for example.
Both originated from similar points in the east blue, but neither of them spoke the same. The swordsman spoke with a fascinating phonetic intonation, a soft lilt at the end of his sentences that made each his words come off as much more expressive than the passive face he held would suggest.The navigator spoke with a low tone preceding her stressed syllables, she also spoke expressively, similar to the swordsman but her specific way of speaking had a certain quality that made it sound like she was singing.
…Not that Law was paying attention of course. He was simply being observant about his new allies, and it was just that- they all sounded so… weird. All of them, without exception had a different way of speaking, which shouldn’t be a problem, on the open seas you meet all kinds of people, different people with different origins and stories, speech being no exception. Anyone whose made it that far on the Grand line would have adapted the ability to process different accents long ago.
No, the only problem about the Straw Hats was the fact that after such a long time living together, they had all adopted aspects of EACH OTHER’S accents. Through every crew member’s distinctive speech, there laid another more complicated layer of consonants, vowels and tones that would be a mess to unwind. It was like in addition to their original accents, they had created an amalgamation of phrases, words and strangely placed emphasis until it nearly became a dialect of its own.
Phrases like "have your cake and eat it" or "that stupid cook falls for every woman" just made no sense to him at all. Is having your cake not eating it? The cook treats women favourably but there was no problem with his mobility. Who is Bob? They certainly aren't any uncle Law knows about, and even if he did, Bob would be long dead. Law simply just couldn't understand.
So imagine Law’s surprise when Straw hat had the AUDACITY to complain that he couldn’t understand what the surgeon was saying.
“Toaro is very weird, does he know that?” It was day 2 of their trip sailing towards Dressrosa, and Law had been busy running the plan over and over again though his head. The smaller captain had left his perch at the Lion(?)head mascot and was now sitting under the shade next to Law. The interruption from his nagging thoughts was a welcome change, so Law raised an eyebrow and turned towards Straw hat.
“Humor me Straw hat-ya, what could you possibly mean by that?”
The boy pouted, clearly deep in thought.
“I never get what Toaro is trying to say, you say things in a very confusing way.”
A pause.
“…elaborate”
“You say things very funny! And also you could be saying something very nice, but because of HOW you say it you’ll always sound mean. But you’re not mean! Not at all, you just SOUND mean.”
“We are pirates, Straw hat-ya, nothing wrong with sounding a little brusque.”
Straw hat shook his head “Not only that, you use words weird too. Torao is always saying some phrases that don’t make any sense, then move on like you made a point. It’s confusing.”
Laws curiosity quickly turned to annoyance. “Says you. I feel like my pig whistles, you guys say strange things as well.”
Straw hat snapped his fingers “Yes like that! I don’t understand that!”
“What? What do you not understand?” Law could feel a migraine crawling up.
“That!” Ah, there it was.
A woman’s voice from the patio above deck chimed in “I believe that Luffy is confused about the Idiom, ‘I feel like my pig whistles’? I don’t believe I’ve heard of that one either.” Nico Robin sat at the tea table, methodically flipping through her book. She gave a small smile.
“Apologies, it just seemed as though you two were having some difficulties.”
Hallelujah, thank goodness for Nico Robin.
“It just means that i’m in disbelief, it’s very particular that you of all people believe I speak strangely Straw hat-ya.”
From above the archeologist spoke again. “That is quite a unique phrase though, you must know that Torao. you speak quite uniquely.” She had set her book down and was now peering down on at the 2 men sitting below. She had a look in her eye, a glint of curiosity, like something had really caught her interest. “No one we’ve ever met speaks with the same cadence as you, it's almost a staccato."
He took it back the silent thanks.
“Maybe you just haven’t met enough people then.” He retorted. Nico Robin laughed, standing up and dusting off her dress.
“Perhaps, but the sayings you’ve been introducing us to are unlike any I have known, and I have quite the confidence in my knowledge. Your phrases, they are as Luffy put it, weird.”
Huh. Thats something Law had never thought much of. Law had always assumed his accent was a North Blue thing, most of his crew came from the same region and they seemed to understand what he was saying since no one on his crew ever questioned any of his apparently “weird” methods of talking. Then again his crew members wouldn’t question if he walked out with a dugong taped to his back so there was that.
At this point, the Chef had began calling the rest of the crew in for lunch and Straw Hat, ever the one track mind, immediately launched to his feet and sprinted towards the open door, nearly bowling over a yawning swordsman in the process, causing the green haired man to swear loudly. Law learned 12 new words that day.
“OH DON’T HAVE A COW SHITTY MOSSHEAD” the blonde chef snapped which immediately caused the two to launch into a fighting match, turning into a whirl of legs and swords.
Before Law could open his mouth Nico robin seemed to materialize beside him “it means to throw a fit.”
Law nodded.
_____________
Over time time Law did notice how many idioms each party simply didn’t understand. There were a few that the Samurai of Wano introduced, such as when they complimented Zoro’s fighting style as: “dumplings over flowers” or when when they cautiously approached Law to go over the plans once more, and described the plot to dethrone Doflamingo as a plan that couldn’t be completed “before breakfast”.
Law was pestered to explain a few of his own as well. Such as when he sighed loudly and proclaimed “I believe I spin” to which the gullible little doctor nervously approached him and asked if he had heatstroke or if he was dehydrated.
“It’s just a saying Tony-ya.”
“Are you sure? Dehydration is very dangerous..”
“Im not actually spinning Tony-ya, I just feel like im going insane.”
“Do you want to take a nap?”
.
.
.
Over time Law got used to the sayings and phrases the Straw hats used, he even found himself to start using a few for himself. That was until one day, while Dressrosa was a cats jump away, that he approached the rest of the crew for one final meeting to go over everything, thats when he dug his own grave.
With the most serious and solemn tone, he spoke.
“Don’t pull any plans out of thin ass”
Luffy clapped his hands and immediately began smacking Law's back, tears staining the side of his cheeks as he knocked himself over laughing. The rest of the crew weren't much better, either giggling to themselves or snorting back a quiet chuckle. It was when the smaller captain asked Law to repeat the phrase again, holding a sound dial in a very conspicuous way that Law swore to never use any stupid idioms ever again.
He was a fish on the dry when using them after all.