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The moment that Touya heard that small sentence from someone that was previously so intimidating to him, he felt all of the weight on his shoulders and chest wash away.
He remembers the exact moment he left the courtroom, and just how many people were proud of him. 27th March.
Proud. Something that he had rarely heard before all of this.
But it was worth it, after all the months of fighting and fighting just to finally get away from a family that he was detached from long ago.
The long months of spending almost all of his free time with a lawyer trying his absolute best to find as much evidence as possible, and practising how to appropriately answer questions from his old families defence attorney that spend all of his time just trying to manipulate Touya’s words into saying something in support or praise of his previous family.
He remembers trying to balance school as well as practice on top of it all, trying to stay as strong as possible when all he could think about was what would happen if he lost.
He remembers the exact date and time he cracked under all of the pressure. February 18th, 19:42. He remembers his partner’s gentle hands guiding him home to his two siblings, guiding him to a home of such warmth that he knew he couldn’t live without.
It was something he would never forget.
-
“I know, I know Touya, just keep breathing with me okay?” Akito’s gentle voice seeped through everything. He was knelt in front of Touya, trying his absolute best to calm him down. He held his hand tightly, gently rubbing the taller boy’s knuckles with his thumb.
Akito observed him once again. He was uncontrollably trembling, his eyes were squeezed shut, and one hand rested covering his ear as well as gripping onto his hair. He was sat against the wall in the backroom beside the kitchen at Weekend Garage, in which An had took him when he broke.
The olive eyed boy hushed him, however it rendered pointless. He swallowed, and looked down at their intertwined hands again. This meltdown was clearly a horrible one. He had an idea. “Hey, Touya, if you’re in pain, squeeze my hand as hard as you can. If that helps the pain, do it. Just whilst An and Kohane are trying to find you some headphones okay?”
He didn’t receive a verbal response from Touya, however he was still able to process Akito’s words as seconds later he received a harsh squeeze on his hand. It stung, and Akito could feel the pressure on his bones.
“That’s it, just keep breathing. In for two seconds, hold for two, out for four. Just like what I’m doing.” He muttered, masking the pain in his hand. “You can do it.” His reassurance wasn’t going far, but he had to keep trying.
Footsteps began to get louder, signalling the return of Kohane and An.
Touya shook his head rapidly and shrunk into himself even more. “I-I can’t do this,” He choked out, as if he were gagging. His voice was hoarse too. Akito began to shake a little, his fear threatening to control him, but there was no way he was leaving his boyfriend just because of some fear. He fought off.
“Yes you can, Touya. Everything is going to be alright. It will all go well, you just need to keep fighting.” He replied, a small smile plastered on his face. Maybe a small bit of praise would help with calming him down. “You’ve been so strong so far, and I know you can carry on. You’ve got this. But for now, I just need you to breathe and keep squeezing my hand to get rid of the pain. Okay?”
The only response he got from his lover was even more choked sobbing, which was accompanied with small coughs and gags. An and Kohane came in quickly, and Kohane gently placed the headphones on him whilst An removed his hand from his ear.
Once the headphones were on, Touya did calm down ever so slightly, however he was still incredibly stressed out. Akito could tell he was going to vomit. As An placed a weighted blanket on him, Akito shot his eyes over to Kohane. They didn’t know yet.
“Get a bag, a bin, a bucket, anything. Quickly, I think he's gonna throw up.” He ordered. The blonde haired girl’s eyes widened, yet she then nodded and sped away to find one. The black haired girl looked at Touya and then Akito worriedly, as if she were about to ask if Akito would be okay.
“I’ll be fine. He needs me right now, I’m not just gonna leave him.” Akito stated. He knew she was concerned for him. “But can you stay too? Help me to get him to breathe?” Without any hesitation, the girl nodded and smiled warmly at Akito.
As Kohane returned once again, she instantly noticed that he was very close to vomiting, so she swiftly placed the bin in front of him. Akito cringed in fear, he really hated seeing and hearing vomit. But what he hated more was seeing his boyfriend so overwhelmed.
“Aoyagi-kun, I’m gonna get you some more water, but I’ll keep the bin beside you just in case.” Kohane stated, before she rushed off once again. Her voice was soft and not filled with any frustration, like it previously would’ve been if he was at home. He remembers one time.
“This tantrum over a tie you have to wear?! Grow up, Touya!”
The words wouldn’t come out. He just wanted everything to go black.
“Your mother and I have worked so hard to get you into this recital! So that means that you will practise for it, you will wear this outfit, I don’t care what you have to whine about.”
His head was splitting, everything hurt him. He pushed down vomit despite the immense discomfort.
“Answer me, Touya!”
His eyes darted from the floor up to him. He tried his best to say something, anything. But instead, an unwanted grip on his arm pulled him up and sat him back down on the chair. He screamed.
“You make my life so difficult sometimes, and you don’t even have the decency to apologise for causing this disturbance.”
Touya shivered, his chest restricting even more. He shakily nodded at her, before Akito pulled out a tissue from his pocket and wiped his face, murmuring small words of reassurance. He could tell Touya had just remembered something unexpected.
Akito dropped the tissue in the bin beside Touya. He felt so bad for him it was also making him nauseated. It hurt to see his love in so much distress, and he couldn’t even feel a fraction of it to at least attempt an understanding.
A small apology could be heard from him. He was struggling to talk, it was extremely obvious how exhausting it was. But he still felt so, so guilty.
Akito chose to ignore it. He began to rub his knuckles once more. An smiled warmly at the dual-toned boy, and then she spoke up. “Inhale, Touya. In for two. Just like me.”
She demonstrated with him, feeling small amounts of relief bubble in her chest when he followed. “And hold for two seconds, then exhale for four seconds.”
As An guided Touya through calm breaths, Akito stayed silent. He watched fondly as his friend comforted his boyfriend, and he felt a sense of warmth that he was not familiar with. It felt like true love for someone so close to you; like a best friend. This is exactly how Akito felt towards Touya before he developed a crush on him. An and Touya were now so close, and he could tell just how much she valued him.
It had only been around a minute, and now everything had drastically decreased in chaos. Kohane had returned with a glass of water, to which Touya shakily held. He could breathe again now, and nothing was excruciatingly painful to him anymore.
However, he was exhausted. He still couldn’t move very well, and he just wanted to fall asleep right on the floor by Akito. But he knew he couldn’t, because he had a home to go to. A new home, where he would certainly not be belittled at.
He couldn’t hear anything really. The only way he knew what An was saying was because he could lip read surprisingly well. He doesn’t really know how he learnt it, but he’s glad he does. She said something about cancelling the remainder of practice. After that, he closed his eyes and waited for something else to happen. He just wanted to rest.
A tap on his shoulder signalled to open his eyes. “Okay, I think I should take you home. You should go to bed as soon as you get in.” Akito announced. He stretched his legs for a moment before he slowly got up, whilst also helping Touya up too. Unsurprisingly, his legs were shaky, like a newborn baby deer attempting to stand for the first time.
Kohane and An followed up shortly after. Kohane smiled at the two boys, before she did something quite unexpected. She approached Touya and wrapped her arms around him. A hug.
Shocked, the silver eyed teen felt unable to return the embrace for a few seconds. He wasn’t opposed to the contact though. However she didn’t need him to return it. Instead she spoke up, furthering her consolement.
“Take care of yourself, Aoyagi-kun. I know you can do it.” Her voice was muffled in the boy’s shoulder, however her words couldn’t have been any more warm and sweet. “Get some rest, and don’t worry about practice, or school, or anything like that for a while. You know we’re all here for you.”
Touya smiled, appreciating the surprise that not even An saw coming. He pulled away after a few moments and returned the smile to the blonde haired girl. Akito handed him his school bag.
He opened his mouth to express his infinite gratitude, yet nothing came out. It hurt to even try to speak. Yet, he still wanted to show his thanks. He had to. So he signed the two words with his hands and watched amusingly as An tried her best to remember what it meant.
Kohane giggled. She then waved at the two boys who were now leaving.
Akito turned around one final time and mouthed a very grateful thank you to the two girls, before he slowly helped Touya out of the shop.
One hand was placed on the dual haired boy’s back whilst the other was intertwined with one of his hands. He looked up and noticed that he still looked absolutely miserable, despite seeming a little better back in the shop. He also looked like he would fall asleep the moment he would lay down, so Akito made sure to get him home as quick as possible with little to no stops. Hopefully the traffic lights will be nice, as he isn’t convinced Touya can handle the atmosphere of the train station.
And it’s not like he lives as far away as he used to anymore.
As they approached the first set of traffic lights, Akito spoke up. “Is it okay for me to speak? Or do you want me to sign to you instead?” His voice was gentle and he made sure to take it slow.
Touya was absolutely baffled at Akito’s kindness and patience. Over the past two and a half - nearly three - years, he had seen the traits come out time and time again. But it still left the silver eyed teen shocked almost every time. It amazed him how caring and gentle someone can be to the person they love.
He felt his lips curve up a little bit. In response to his boyfriend’s question, he sloppily signed You can talk. Thank you. To him before intertwining their hands yet again.
The ginger haired boy nodded, and smiled.
“You know..you’re under a lot of pressure right now.” He began, noticing how Touya’s expression slumped even more after that first sentence. Akito carried on however. “Y’know, you got school, practise and events to all handle..as well as the court case. I can’t even imagine how long you have to stay awake for every night just to make sure you know what you’re saying in court.”
A hearty, yet somewhat sad laugh escaped from the smaller teen’s mouth. Touya felt tears burn his vision again as they crossed the road.
“I don’t want you overexerting yourself, Touya.” Akito carried on. His eyebrows were creased in worry. “And I want you to know that if you want to take a break from practise or school, I will be absolutely okay with it. You need to put yourself first, and I will always be there to support you.”
A break from school..practice..
He’s never really taken breaks.
It was no surprise that his father had forced him to attend school everyday, no matter the situation. Touya vividly remembers a day where he could not even walk in a straight line due to a fever, yet he was still forced in.
In fact, up until the day he showed up at the Tenma household, he still had not ever taken a day off school.
The same situation happened with practice and events, however there was a willingness to actually attend. He didn’t want to stop.
He had a few days off from school after his sudden arrival. He wasn’t badly hurt or anything (spare the red mark across his face), but he was absolutely exhausted. Exhausted to the point of very nearly dissociating. He struggled to do anything other than sleep and calm himself down. But all of the Tenma’s really didn’t seem to mind.
His team also didn’t mind that he couldn’t attend practice, either. It was the first time he had just..not done anything.
It was helpful, but he still felt guilty.
“I know that look. You won’t make anyone mad, dude. I promise.” Akito’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts, which he now realised was just exhausting himself even more. He felt dizzy.
Touya sighed. He really doesn’t think he can handle all of this. Especially if this is what will happen when he shatters every time.
I’ll ask for some time off school, then. He hesitated. And maybe just a day or two off practice. I can’t even talk right now anyway.
Akito smiled widely. As he turned into a quieter part of the city, he stopped and cupped the taller’s cheek with his hand. His face was still wet from the stray tears that occasionally still fell.
“Thanks.” He murmured, keeping his voice low. Heat crept up his cheeks as he edged himself closer to Touya. He then invited him into a small, gentle kiss. It was quick, yet extremely meaningful.
As they pulled away, the ginger haired teen immediately noticed the small smile that had formed on the split haired boy, along with a pink tint blanketing his cheeks and nose.
They began to walk again, in a comfortable silence. Akito was simply grateful that Touya was walking beside him. Although he was slower and weaker than usual, he was okay. He was relatively calm.
Eventually, after around five minutes, they had reached the Tenma household. A few lights were still on, signalling that the family should still be awake. Touya hoped there was still some dinner left. He was starving.
Akito smiled at him before he pressed down on the doorbell. He heard the tune from the other side of the door, and then moments later, he could hear a familiar voice along with those signature footsteps that were about to open the door.
“Who is it—“ The golden haired boy started off, before he processed who was in front of the home. His little brother and his boyfriend? But Touya said they weren’t going to be home until around 21:15. It’s 20:10 right now.
He took another look at the two boys, and Touya had immediately caught his attention. It wasn’t hard to tell what had happened, if the headphones weren’t already a giveaway. His entire body was trembling and exhaustion was slowly consuming him. It wouldn’t be long until he would simply collapse. It had happened before. When they were a lot younger.
“I’m so sorry, Mr Aoyagi! He just fell asleep on me. I tried to keep him awake, but he just wanted to sleep!”
His apologies weren’t going to change the aftermath, but he appreciated it anyway. At least someone understood.
There’s that fake smile. The one that held his anger and embarrassment underneath it.
“Don’t worry. He’ll be okay when he gets home. But I am worried he may not sleep well tonight.”
The wording made him feel sick. Truly sick. Like venom was just being forced down his throat. He wouldn’t sleep well at all, but not for the reasons he was feeding everyone else into.
“Touya, what happened?” Tsukasa’s tone of voice completely changed. What was one of might and bravery was now replaced with such worry and care. He reached out and held Touya’s hand, helping him inside.
Instantly, Touya could smell the sweet and warm scent of buttercream. It was a smell that had always brought him tranquillity and peacefulness. He really wanted to rest.
Akito spoke up. He could tell that the silver eyed teen wanted to rest.
He turned away from Tsukasa and Akito as he noticed someone else appear from the stairs. There stood Saki, who’s golden and pink hair lay down from her usual pigtails. She stood in shock for a few moments, however she soon rushed over and gave him a tight hug. He returned it, however it was clear he couldn’t squeeze her back.
“He’s just super tired now. Oh, and he really needs a break. Just a few days.” Akito finished off. He still stood outside, watching with a small smile on his face as he watched Saki embrace Touya.
Tsukasa simply nodded. He replied to Akito with a smile too, before he thanked him. He then motioned for Touya to also say goodbye, to which he turned back around and looked lovingly at Akito.
Thank you. I love you.
Akito laughed softly. I love you too. Before walking off.
As the door closed, the two older siblings immediately focused their attention on Touya. Tsukasa observed his exhausted nature, and he felt his heart pulsate in pain.
He placed a hand on the boy's back and quickly guided him upstairs. “I’ll help you get to bed. Saki will bring your dinner up for you, is that okay or would you prefer to eat downstairs?” He asked, the gentle question sending comforting waves throughout the taller teen.
Touya hesitated before he answered. He usually always ate dinner at a table, no matter if he was alone or not. But honestly, he felt like he would end up falling asleep whilst eating his food. And he was also secretly hoping for something else to happen..
Up here, please. He signed. Saki nodded and murmured the translation to Tsukasa (who was still learning) before she retreated to the kitchen.
The two reached Touya’s new room, which was the previous guest room. Although it still looked quite bland, there were a few elements of Touya’s personality scattered around. For example, a few photos of his interests and those he cared deeply about. It felt nice..however he hoped it would change soon.
Tsukasa stayed in the doorway, and took a step back as Touya entered. “I’ll let you get changed.” He muttered, as he closed the door for his little brother.
As soon as he made it onto his bed, Touya couldn’t help but slump down on it. He desperately needed to relax, but he certainly could not be doing it in his uniform. It was way too uncomfortable, and it had frankly started to make his body itch.
His discomfort pushed against his exhaustion, so he sluggishly got up and made his way over to his closet. He lazily pulled the doors open, and his eyes scanned for anything warm and cosy that he could put on - quickly.
After what felt like a hopeless eternity – yet was only a minute – he found a long sleeve top and sweatpants that he would be able to wear. He tried his best to hurry up, as he did not appreciate the buzzing noise that he heard when he took off his headphones. Plus, he could hear Saki outside now too, and he did not want to keep food waiting.
Tsukasa and Saki silented waited outside his door. In a miraculous amount of time, Tsukasa had managed to get changed into his night clothes and also retrieve a teddy for Touya, who actually won the teddy in the first place. But Tsukasa could tell it was one Touya favoured all those months ago when he reluctantly passed it over to the boy. It hurt to see his secret longing for it.
Saki stood beside him and she held the leftovers of the meal that their mother had cooked them before she travelled to work. It was a simple yet tasty chicken soup.
The two waiting outside the door didn’t need to speak to communicate; their worried eyes said it all.
He’s overwhelmed by it all.
The whole case was a lot for all of the Tenma family to take in. Late night or early morning talks with their lawyer, getting as much evidence as possible, dealing with the press sometimes being at their door due to the popularity of the Aoyagi family. Tsukasa and Saki helping out more with chores around the house, and of course; being there for Touya.
At first, he tried to show off that he didn’t need it. But after a while, he slowly loosened up and felt himself enjoy the comfort that he received from them, despite having told himself he didn’t need it.
But everyone in the house right now knew just how bad he needed consolement.
Moments later, after the older siblings’ shared look, Touya opened the door and let them both in. He looked more comfortable now, as he was in his favourite fabric. However, he still kept the headphones on, presumably to block out the creak of the door.
Saki walked up to his bedside table and placed the meal on the surface, and then she quickly left yet again. This confused the split haired teen, as he thought she had gotten everything. He stared at the door.
Tsukasa felt so incredibly bad for his little brother that tears nearly welled up in his eyes. Nearly. But right now, he had to be strong.
He approached Touya and placed a gentle hand on his back, making sure it was okay to do so before he gently rubbed his hand up and down his back.
“It’s okay, Touya, she just went to go and get her laptop. We’re gonna watch a movie. Is that okay?” His voice remained in a soft and gentle tone as he eased his little brother. Usually, when something like this happens, the two elder siblings sit with him for a few hours and watch a movie they all enjoy. It was such a simple idea when mentioned, but in reality it did so much for Touya that he was eternally grateful for their gesture.
He nodded slightly, and he turned back to his bed. The two sat down, and Tsukasa picked up the blanket and wrapped it around them both. He then quickly dropped his teddy he held in his hands in exchange of handing Touya his late dinner.
He began to eat. The soup was still warm, and it filled him up with more feelings of relief and sanctity that he wouldn’t even have thought forty minutes ago. The meal was made with such care. He wanted to finish it all.
“I’m back~!” Saki announced, rushing in and sliding herself onto the bed with her usual sing-song voice. She plopped the laptop in the middle of the three and then opened it up, ready to find any movie.
She smiled up at her brothers. “So, what are we thinking for this time? Disney, Netflix, Dreamworks?” She listed multiple options, giggling slightly as the two pondered their choices.
Saki looked down and noticed that most of the soup had gone from the bowl. She picked up and after receiving a nod from Touya, she placed it on the side.
Thank you. He signed. Can we watch Beauty and The Beast?
Saki smiled and nodded. Whilst it was true they all adored the film, they mostly just put it on to see and hear Tsukasa sing the songs too. Hopefully, he will do it yet again.
As the pink haired girl scrolled through her laptop to find the movie, the golden haired boy handed Touya the shark teddy by gently placing it in his lap where his food had just been. For a moment, Touya simply stared down at the little plushie, his eyes twinkling. He didn't know that Tsukasa actually kept this.
God, he was going to start crying again at this rate.
Instead of signing his thanks to his older brother, Touya held the teddy tight and then engulfed the boy into a gentle hug.
A small chuckle from Tsukasa caused Saki to look up from her laptop, and as soon as she saw the screen in front of her, she couldn’t help but secretly snap a photo. Maybe she could use this as an ‘embarrassing’ photo for Tsukasa’s eighteenth..
Eventually, the movie began to play, and it left all three siblings in a state of secureness and safety. Where they could be themselves and relax from the stress of everything.
Touya found himself knocked out cold not even halfway through the movie. His head leaned on Saki’s shoulder as he slept. His hands still clutched onto the teddy.
Tsukasa’s previously loud and eccentric singing had refused to a soft melody as soon as he realised that Touya was asleep. In fact, it was more like a gentle lullaby. Not just to keep Touya asleep, but to also send Saki too. He chuckled, finding it slightly shocking that it still worked ten years later.
The amber eyed boy placed a stray strand of Touya’s darker locs behind his ear. He smiled. “It’s all going to be okay, Touya. I love you.”
And it was all okay for Touya.
Because now, he was surrounded by those that loved him so dearly.