Archive of Our Own ^beta

James usually pays attention in class.

Okay, maybe not all the time, but a fair amount of times. He's constantly trying to avoid getting distracted by random things in the classroom. Except today he was late and the only seat left was next to the window. Therefore, of course he took a peek outside, to appreciate the sky and the sun and be grateful he’s alive. 

That’s when he spots him. He’s not sure what it was exactly, but something clicked at that moment. He couldn't pull his eyes away from him. All he wants is to find out who he is and figure out a way to get to know him. He’s staring shamelessly at the back of the stranger’s head until the boy looks his way, making eye contact with James. 

He holds his gaze for a moment before pulling away, turning his head back into his classroom and away from James’ questioning eyes. He feels a little guilty, suddenly, about invading the other boy’s habit and possibly scaring him off, making him have to keep his head inside. But that wasn’t his intention at all.

James finds himself unconsciously picking the same seat next to the window every day in the hopes of making peace with that other guy, or at least just seeing his unforgettable and fluffy, curly black hair again. 

He's apparently in luck, because he does. This time, he stares right back at him on purpose. His head peaks out again and this time, alongside his notebook with something written in big letters. 

[ what? ]

He doesn’t really look mad, just curious. James takes all the chances he can get. He grabs the notebook meant to be for taking notes and not for communicating with pretty boys, and writes down his answer. Two answers, actually, already preparing for the next one. 

[ what’s your name? ]

The boy raises his eyebrows in comedic disbelief, like it’s a funny question. He sees him write down on the same paper and then shows it to him. 

[ regulus, you? ]

…

[ james! :) ] 

Then, he remembers about the conversation he had earlier that week with his friends about picking an elective course for the semester. He quickly writes down again and hopes that Regulus will be there to read it. 

[ which elective are you taking? ]

James hopes they can pick the same elective so that at least they'll have one class in common. It doesn't really matter which elective Regulus picks, because none of the electives stood out to him anyway, and he’s always in for learning something new. 

Regulus reads the question, and although he looks slightly skeptical, he writes down an answer. 

[ art ]

He doesn’t know why this surprised him. James gives him a thumbs up and nods, showing him a smile. They both go back to their respective classes. James asks Remus to explain what they've been through so he’s not too lost on the final exam, and after class tells his friends he’s going to pick art as an elective. 

The next day, he tells his friends about his newfound passion for art. 

“Why are you out of nowhere picking art?” Sirius asks him as they walk to their first class of the day. "I've never seen you draw even an eye in your notes."  He doesn't know how to really explain the why of the way he does things. He just gets the feeling that this is right. Sirius, however, isn't one to hold James back. 

“Will you join me or not?” He asks, pretending to sound impatient, “Remus and Peter already picked their electives.”

“Listen, mate, I like art, but I already set my mind on music.” 

"Ah, you're right! yeah, you definitely need to keep music as an elective." 

"Yep." He pats James in the back, "Good luck with art! I'm sure you'll be this generation's Andy Warhol, or something." 

"Right." James doesn't have the heart to tell him he doesn't really care much about art, he just wants to get to know this guy from a year below him. 

…

James goes to the counselor's office later that day to pick art as his elective this semester.

Things work out pretty smoothly after that, and James prefers not to think about it too much because it wouldn't make sense. Call it fate, or destiny, or his willpower and inability to give up on things he really cares about. 

Next week, it's the start of art classes for him. When he gets in the classroom, he finds that he and Regulus are desk partners. And he didn't even have to ask the teacher, it was assigned randomly. Isn't that too much of a coincidence to be considered mere luck? 

The teacher gives out instructions for their first task. They get out the materials and get started. While they're each drawing the shapes and doing the shading like the example in front of the board, James notices Regulus is listening to music on wireless earphones, but only in one ear, so there's really only one thing for him to do…

He slips the little post it note slowly so Regulus can see it while he’s focused on his drawing, and points at the ear that has the airpod on. James thought maybe that would be a little too much, but has trust in the boundaries that Regulus can set if he's even the slightest bit uncomfortable. 

[ can I listen? ]

On the same note, Regulus writes back.  

[ sure ]

They resume their drawings again, James occasionally throwing glances at Regulus’ work in the name of comparing his progress as a newbie in this craft (Regulus is doing the same, but for entirely different reasons.) 

For the second time during the class, James writes something down and slips it for Regulus to read.

[ can I walk home with you? ] 

Regulus bites his lips and seems to be deciding what to respond. It doesn't take him very long before he nods in affirmation, and James is already kind of planning their wedding. Alright, maybe let's not go that far yet. But it's always nice to walk next to someone on the way back home after a long day of school. 

James forgets to text Sirius about going back home with Regulus, at least until their paths emerge, so that's why, when the class is over and they're packing their things and setting the art materials away, Sirius Black appears laying cooly on the door frame, searching for his best friend. 

“Regulus?” He hesitates, but comes inside and approaches their working area anyway, almost completely ignoring James next to him. “I didn’t know you were in this class, I swear.”

Regulus looks up, and James can see he’s starting to get a little stressed, but he watches as he calms himself down and faces Sirius. It’s fine, he mouths, and shrugs to make his point clear. 

“I didn’t know you guys knew each other?” James decided to break the tension in the air. 

“Huh?" He seems to be waiting for a joke, but James really doesn't understand the shock in his best friend's face. "James, that’s literally my brother.” 

What?! How did James not know what his best friend’s brother looked like? And they were at the same school and all! 

Oh, well, actually, that explains some things. 

Getting to know him would've been so much easier if only he had known! Though James wouldn’t change the way they met for anything in the world, he just wishes he had met him sooner, despite the unfortunate fallout he and Sirius have experienced over the years.

James hurries to write something down on the closest piece of paper he could find and in someone else’s forgotten textbook he writes and hopes Regulus will wait to read it. 

[ I really didn’t know ]

Before he can write anything else, Regulus takes the pencil from James and writes down something of his own.

[ it’s fine, i don’t care ]

...

[ That’s not why I talk to you, you know? ]

Sirius, watching the exchange, is very confused, because as far as he knows, Regulus isn’t deaf and can definitely hear whenever someone talks to him, and James surely knows this, so why is he writing down everything he wants to say to him instead of just saying it? 

But seeing as Regulus visibly relaxes and his facial features soften as he and James pass the textbook between each other, communicating in their own way, Sirius finds he doesn’t really need an explanation for everything. 

To be honest with himself, after all the bad blood between them was cleaned and misunderstandings were cleared, Sirius never hated or resented his brother. Right now he’s just glad to see Regulus let someone else in, even if that person isn’t him. Though he’s sad to find out his brother still doesn’t speak, even when he’s with James, but he does look very happy, so Sirius thinks that's what really matters anyway. 

“I’ll see you at home, yeah?” He bids farewell to his best friend, not waiting around to hear his response. He’ll probably explain the whole story once he gets home.

…

A few days later after their encounter with Sirius, James spots Regulus’ head staring outside the window of his classroom once again, like the first time he saw him, looking up at the sky. It’s such a good day, James can’t blame him for wanting to take in all the sunlight he can before winter comes. 

During a lunch period, where James finally convinced Regulus to eat together in Reg’s usual hidden spot, James asks a bit of an uncomfortable question. He writes it down on a light blue note, hoping it’ll take away the seriousness from the question.  

[ can i ask something personal? ]

Regulus seems to be debating his answer, but not for too long before nodding and passing the note back to James. James thinks about the right way of asking, and then writes something down. 

[ why don’t you speak? ] 

Regulus takes his time deciding what to write down as his answer, and James is glad he's even getting an answer at all. He doesn't owe James an explanation, but it's nice if he does want to share that with him. If he trusts James enough to do so.

[ what’s your phone number? ]

Surprised, James writes down in the same light blue note his number, and thinks that this must be his way of changing the subject, and James will let it change smoothly. Plus, it would make their communication outside of school a possibility. 

Regulus nodded, added his number on his phone, then put his phone back in his pocket. Then, writes down something in the back of that same note, hiding it with his right arm to prevent James from peeking before it’s ready to be read.  

[ selective mutism ]

...

[ doctors said it’s bc of anxiety or stress ]

“Oh,” James exhales, and wants to hold his hand in support, even though he doesn’t really know if that’s what Regulus even wants right now. He’s never been the best at reading body language, but it doesn’t seem to bother Regulus that much. James has other things he wants to ask, of course, but none of them are really important and would just make Regulus feel bad or uncomfortable, so he doesn’t. 

They continue eating their food, and Regulus pulls out his airpods again and gives one of them to James. He plays the same kind of music as he played in the art room, and James is glad to be learning more and more things about him. 

He walks home with Sirius after class and tries not to talk too much about Regulus. Both to avoid saying something that was meant to be private, and to not make Sirius too sad with the reminder that he’s not as close with his brother anymore. 

Maybe one day in the future, James imagines, the three of them will walk home together and things won’t feel so heavy. But for now this is all they have, and he knows good things take time to form, and he should appreciate things as they are. 

When he gets home, after eating dinner with his family and getting ready to sleep, almost past his bedtime (Yes, he still has a bedtime and is a responsible student, thank you very much) James receives the notification for a text message. 

Unknown number:

- I used to speak before things at home got really bad. And then I couldn't deal with things the way I did before. Although things are better now, I still can't find it in myself to speak.

- It’s regulus, by the way. 

James thinks about how he should respond to that. Regulus just opened up to him, and it makes him feel glad that he trusts him enough and that their friendship is growing stronger, however… he can’t help but feel sad about everything he’s been through. And he’s a year younger than him. He wishes he had been there to help, or at least be with him as support. 

James:

- Why did you pick art as an elective? 

Regulus ♡: 

- I like museums. I want to know more about the paintings. 

James gets an idea that might be a little stupid. But it makes him so excited he can’t keep himself from swinging his feet and giggling. He decides to just go for it. 

James:

- Would you like to go to the museum this weekend? 

- with me?

Ten minutes go by without an answer, until his phone finally vibrates. 

Regulus ♡: 

- Sure. 

- It’s a date ;) 

James is certain he’s not gonna be able to sleep much that night. 

…

He asked him out very impulsively, and didn’t think it would count as a date, but James isn’t complaining, of course not. He just has to plan everything before Saturday comes. And keep things normal with him during their art class. 

The teacher’s assistant, Mary, already finished her project and decided to make class a little fun. She brought an instant camera and was determined to capture a candid photo while every pair was working on their projects. 

She takes one of Regulus and James, both of them leaning close to each other while staring at their canvas and listening to music. Mary gives the polaroid to James. He offers it to Regulus, but he shakes his head and motions for him to keep it. 

They have been getting closer and closer each day, and things have started to feel so real between them in only a few weeks of being friends. James didn't think he’d fall so quickly, but everything happened so naturally and it just feels right. 

He’s going to want to be close to him for the rest of his life, as long as he lets him, and will never get bored of hearing-reading-any stories or theories regulus wants to share with him, or even just sitting next to him during lunch break, or watching his head softly rest against the window in the classroom next to his. 

When he gets home, James takes the polaroid out, picks up a fancy sharpie from his mum’s office, and writes a little note on the back of the polaroid. Now he waits until Saturday. 

...

It's finally Saturday.

They settled on meeting right outside of the museum. Call him old fashioned, but James loves flowers and he’ll be damned if he dares to go on a date without giving Regulus flowers. Though it might be a little inconvenient when they’re watching the paintings, that’s a problem for later. 

When he spots him, he smiles and gives the small bouquet of orange tulips to him. :

"Hey." He whispers softly. While he smells the flowers, James takes Regulus’ hand in his, bringing his other hand slowly to play with his curls with a feather-like touch, with so much delicacy as one would caress a precious gem. Or, in this case, a shining star. 

He gulps, a little nervous but excited for what new adventures this might bring to their lives, and hands him the polaroid from the other day. 

Regulus smiles softly, looking at them sitting so close and familiar with each other, then he looks at James expectantly, not understanding the need for this commotion. 

James leans his head to his side, and maybe they've been spending too much time together lately, because Regulus knows what to do. He flips the polaroid and finds the words...

[ i love you ]

Written down, then he looks back at James and…It's such a strange feeling, to be hugged in a way that is more than friendly. a hug meant to convey things words would never be able to express right. James notices Reg’s hands trembling, but only for a little, when he moves them to cradle James’ neck, and then he feels Regulus’ lips softly lay on his cheek, kissing him in a way that really shouldn't make James feel so many things. He smells like pepermint.

Well, turns out the movies are right. It feels exactly like a bunch of butterflies flying and fluttering in his stomach, but it's a welcomed feeling. 

“Oh, there’s something else! wait!”

He fishes into his pocket for his wallet, then takes out a folded, hot pink post-it note, with a previous message written in it, and hands Regulus a pen. 

[ ♡ Do u want to be my boyfriend? yes ☐ no☐ ] 

Regulus instantly checks out one of the boxes, smiling in a way that James has never seen him smile before. He’s pretty confident about his answer now, when Regulus laughs contently as he hands him the note back to James. 

[ ♡ Do u want to be my boyfriend? yes ☑ no☐ ]