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February 12th, 23:37.
Khabarovsk, Russia.
It's cold. Annoyingly cold, made so by his uncomfortable amount of layers. It just makes his job so much more difficult, because he feels so chunky and clumsy. His nose is so sore. He says as much to Jack, who humours him with a roll of his eyes.
Jack, saint that he is, even bares his poor ears to the bite of the wind to easier pull his face shield over his head. He slows his walk so he can sidle up next to Gabe, close enough that their arms bump and slide past each other, and pulls his hood down.
“Hey-! Get off me, douchebag.” Gabe offers up the nastiest, ugliest, sidelong glare he can, because he has never known betrayal like this. His attempts at escaping Jack’s intruding hands are complete fails, partly because he doesn’t particularly want to be out of his little bubble, mostly because Jack is pulling soft fabric down over his face before he can get too far.
His half-assed protests are muffled by the face shield, and for a moment Gabe isn’t sure if Jack is trying to suffocate him, or if he’s trying to get this thing on him. He doesn’t brush him off either way.
Eventually, the face shield is situated properly, and the hood of his ridiculously large coat is protecting his now aching ears. He still glares at Jack, but the expression has long since lost its heat. Heat that has now migrated to his cheeks, despite how numbingly cold they were two moments ago. He’s sure his blush could be justified by the cold, but he’s still incredibly grateful for the face shield.
“You gonna quit yappin’ in my ear now? Think you’ll survive?” Jack remarked, one corner of his freshly uncovered mouth quirking up. Gabe loved that smile more than he cared to admit. Even now, in what was the beginning of a snowstorm, Gabe felt warm.He doesn’t let that slip from his carefully crafted persona, though. He can’t. He has a job to do, he needs to put Jack out of his head (not likely), or so help him God he’ll never get anything done.
“You’re too harsh on me, Boy Scout. Ever think of growing a heart?” For me? Gabe almost vomits on the spot as soon as the thought slips to the forefront of his mind. He’s going soft, disgustingly so. The look on Jack’s face doesn’t help, it only sends a flurry of butterflies up his throat. Gabe can’t let it mean anything, not with what they do.
“For you?” Jack echoes Gabe’s thoughts aloud, “I guess I could consider it.” Someone must be conspiring against Gabe, because that response should never make a man like him react like this. Thankfully, Gabe had always had a good poker face, but the inner turmoil almost knocks him off his feet.
They’re both quiet for a long moment. Jack must be waiting for Gabe to come up with a smartass response. He apparently grows tired of waiting in the painfully awkward silence.
Jack clears his throat, only to give himself more time to think of a topic to switch. “This mission..” There we go. Easy topic for him. He’d been wanting to talk to Gabe about it anyway. “Are you sure we should head in right now..? I mean, the storm’s gonna be bad, it already is. We won’t be getting back up until it’s over, and this feels too easy. It can’t be this easy.” He’s glad he moved to this subject, this feeling of dread had been gnawing at him all day, in the moments Gabe wasn’t taking up all his focus.
And Gabe felt much the same, but he couldn’t justify taking out any more soldiers than he already had. They wouldn’t let him take a whole damn army out here, just because he had a bad feeling. He was allowed his back up from a far, safe place. He turns to Jack, all of these thoughts clear in his eyes, and claps him on the shoulder. All he can offer is a lie, even though they both know he’s not okay with this either.
“It’ll be fine. Intel is rarely wrong. ‘Sides, all we need is me and you.” He gives Jack’s shoulder a rough shake, and the corner of his eyes wrinkle in a barely visible smile. Jack is the only person he’d dare to show this side of him to. Even then, he’s not sure why he does, because Jack always gets this look on his face that makes Gabe’s heart ache with want.
“Yea, you’re probably right.” He appreciates the effort at putting his mind at ease, but it doesn’t help. At all. Except maybe the comment he made about the two of them. He knew he was smiling like an idiot, but it didn’t matter when it was Gabe. And he could always blame his red face on the cold.
“ All we need is me and you. ” Jack repeats, trying to catch Gabe’s eyes. “You say the sweetest things to me, Gabe.” He’s just teasing Gabe now, like he always does. And Gabe just drops his hand from his shoulder, very clearly unimpressed. That doesn’t deter Jack, it never does. “Maybe you have enough heart for the both of us.” He leans closer, bumping his shoulder against Gabe’s.
“ Oh, fuck, forget I said anything.” He groans, pushing Jack far away from him. Every time he said something even remotely nice to Jack, he lived to regret it. (Not really, though. The teasing was always worth it when he got to see Jack’s smile. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he liked to believe that smile was reserved for him). And while Gabe is thinking about all of this, Jack is still rattling on. Gabe has to ask what he just said.
“I said, if we come back safe from this job, maybe then I can tell you whether or not I’ve grown a heart for you. Should give me enough time to think.” He says the words with confidence, but there’s something shy about the way he holds himself, Gabe thinks. Not that he thinks very much beyond the fact that Jack was certainly making some kind of move on him there.
Oh, fuck. How does he respond to that? He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out so he closes it again. Oh God, this is embarrassing. He’s so visibly flustered right now. He opens his mouth again, this time with some type of response on the tip of his tongue, but-
Gabe thanks whoever was watching over him at that moment, because a soldier stops both him and Jack, abruptly cutting Gabe off. He’s never been so relieved in his entire life. He surely would’ve embarrassed himself even further if he started speaking.
“Strike Commander Reyes.” He addressed Gabe with a formality that always made him feel awkward. Back ramrod straight, chin held high. “We’re here. Sniper is setting up, and then we’re ready to go.” Gabe grumbles his thanks dismisses him, so he can turn his focus to Jack again. They lock eyes briefly, and Gabe claps him on the shoulder, using the contact to guide him over to the rest of the soldiers.
Gabe doesn’t need to go over their plan. Everyone was briefed before they came out here, and they wouldn’t be here if they weren’t trusted to follow the instructions given very carefully.
“Intel says it’s not a major headquarters. It shouldn’t be heavily protected, because it’s so rural, but be prepared for anything.” Gabe looks around, eyes lingering on Jack specifically for a moment. His face is hard-set. Gabe knows he’s planning solutions to every problem that may or may not present itself.
He tears his eyes away, so he can focus on what he needs to say next. “If shit goes south, pair up, or go alone if you have to, and take the long way back. You all have a GPS. Do not lead them to us.” He straightens up a little more, and knocks his fist against the shoulder of the man beside him. “Let’s go.”
—-------------------------------------------
Gabe doesn’t know where he is. He’s alone, he can’t see much out of his right eye, or the other, really, because of the storm, and he can still hear rapid gunfire in the distance somewhere.
The intel was wrong. It was so wrong. There was a seemingly endless line of omnics exiting the warehouse. They called for backup, but they wouldn’t be getting it in this storm. All they could do was retreat back into the treeline, and hope to God that there were no omnics stalking them.
Compared to the death some of the other soldiers faced, Gabe got off lightly. It could have been so much worse, but the bullet just skimmed his temple. It was still enough to send blood running down into his eye, but he counted himself lucky. Especially lucky when he saw Jack making his way into the treeline with another soldier, both seemingly unharmed.
But still, there was a horrible feeling settling in his stomach. The thickness in the base of his throat made it worse.
He would see him at their base. He would see him at their base. He would see him at their base. He repeated this in his head over and over. It was a reassurance and a reason for him to continue driving forward through this storm. The only thing that kept him standing on his tired legs was the image of Jack, safe. And plus, Jack would kill him if he died out here. So, really, what other choice did he have?
—-------------------------------------------
Jack is completely lost. And alone. When it all happened, he had a soldier by the collar of his coat and was pulling him along behind him into the woods. Jack argues with himself that he couldn’t do anything about it, but the poor guy took a bullet through the back of his skull. His death still weighed heavily on his shoulders, no matter how rational his own arguments were. Jack was by no means upset that it wasn’t him instead, and if he knew that a bullet would go through whoever was behind, he wouldn’t have changed anything. Maybe that’s why he felt so guilty.
He wouldn’t waste any more time dwelling on it right now, though, because he was certain that he was being followed. He wouldn’t obsess over it, or the state Gabe was in when he left. He just needed to shake whoever was on him and get back. Much easier said than done.
This storm was impossible to see through, and it was just as hard to hear anything. He couldn’t feel anything on his face, save for the warm blood (he tries not to think about how that blood wasn’t his) that was quickly cooling on the side of his face. His hands were painfully numb, too. With every beat of his heart, a new wave of pain reached them and he reprimanded himself again for taking the damn gloves off. He did it for a better grip on his gun, but in his haste to get the hell out of there, he left them laying in the snow.
He still pushed on. He didn’t have time to whine and cry, just because he was a little cold. If he was faring this bad with the cold, he wondered what state Gabe was in. Jack huffed out a quiet laugh at the thought of Gabe grumpily trudging through the woods, covered in snow. The affection that pulsed through him was overwhelming, almost enough to completely douse the fiery needles in his hands. He needed to find Gabe, whether in this storm or at base. He could only hope to be lucky enough to bump into him.
—-------------------------------------------
Okay, his fingers aren’t meant to be this colour. He was so focused on getting away from the shitstorm of a mission, and trying to find Gabe, he failed to notice how bad he’d started to feel. He was definitely crashing hard, now that the adrenaline had worn off. It’s somehow even colder now. How was that even possible?
He couldn’t feel his fingers at all anymore, and while he was glad that they didn’t hurt anymore, he also knew that the lack of pain was a very bad sign. It doesn’t matter, he needs to find Gabe. He needs to get back to him. He should probably be worrying about other things, like the other soldiers, but he can’t shake the thought of Gabe bleeding out somewhere, alone and in the cold. Gabe hates the cold-
Jack is suddenly very aware of his surroundings. He freezes in place, stiff fingers unable to fully curl around his gun. He can definitely hear snow crunching. Someone is walking towards him, although it’s hard to tell where they’re coming from because of the wind whistling in his ears. He thinks that it’s coming from his right, so he quickly and quietly ducks behind a tree, unsheathing the combat knife he kept strapped to his chest rig. It’s big, bulky, and quiet, so if it’s an omnic he can deal with it efficiently and nobody would come running to his position to kill him.
When he thinks they’ve gotten within grabbing distance, he jumps out from his spot, bracing his arm across their chest and swiping their ankle out from underneath them with his foot. They both fall into the snow, stranger on their back, Jack kneeling above with a knife to their throat. He only allows himself a second to see their face, and he’s glad he did. Relief floods him, but it’s short-lived, because suddenly he’s the one on his back, courtesy of a sucker punch to the jaw.
“Gabe!-” Now Gabe is leaning over him, and Jack can see the exact moment that he realizes it’s him. He lowers his fist, and sits back on Jack’s legs. His sigh of relief is just barely audible over the sound of the storm. Jack lets his hooded head fall into the snow again, feeling every bit of adrenaline as it drains from his body. He found him.
“Fancy seein’ you here, huh?” Gabe eventually speaks first. He is very quick to stand back up and offer Jack a hand. He’s eager to get back to their nice warm base, a sentiment Jack can greatly relate to. Jack's fingers are like blocks of ice as he tries to curl them around Gabe’s hand; they’re practically unmoving. Gabe has to hold his hand for him. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to notice the odd colour they’ve turned. The last thing Jack needs is for Gabe to start fussing over him, and do something stupidly cute like offer his gloves to him.
“It’s damn good to see your ugly mug, Reyes.” Jack doesn’t care about how stupidly in love he must look right now, because he was so, so worried about him. Looking at him now, he looks to be alright. He’d bleeding down his face, but Gabe wouldn’t leave a major wound unlooked at. He’s not stupid, even if Jack likes to call him such. Jack caught a glimpse of it, anyway. Looks like a graze.
Gabe shies away from Jack’s mothering gaze, and instead directs his eyes downwards. There’s a steep hill in front of them. He can’t see much more than that, other than trees and snow. The trees do seem to thin out a little, so he figures they’re coming up on some kind of clearing, like a lake or a field.
“Yeah, whatever.” Gabe mumbles, and nudges Jack’s elbow. “I know you can’t resist me, but eyes ahead. Wouldn’t want you to fall and scrape your knee, would we Boy Scout?” He finally turns to look at Jack, and although he can’t see it because of the face guard, he’s smiling. He slaps a hand on Jack’s back, sending him stumbling forward an inch.
Jack doesn’t even honour him with a response, just side eyes him, and focuses on not making himself look like a complete idiot as he walks down through the thick snow. He’s a little ahead of Gabe right now, so he does his best to scout the area, as if there’s much to see. He literally can’t see, but he was almost sure that there’s also just nobody here.
Was.
Apparently he cannot catch a break, between thinking Gabe was an omnic, who wanted him dead, and now this. He isn’t sure how it happened, maybe it was hiding, waiting for them to come this way, or maybe omnics are just crazy quiet now.
Before he gets a chance to react to the flicker of movement in the corner of his eye, he’s being shoved half onto his ass, slamming into a nearby tree. He vaguely registers anything other than the glowing eyes staring into his own, because damn, he cracked his head against that tree pretty hard.
After the initial shock, he acts quickly. And stupidly, because Gabe was right there, ready to knife the bastard. Instead, Jack wrestles the omnic off of himself and into the snow, which just sends them sliding down the steep slope. Jack quickly loses his grip on the omnic in the fall, and the fact that the flat ground they rolled onto is shockingly hard and slippery does nothing to soothe him. They rolled onto a goddamn lake.
Before Jack can even sit upright, the omnic is on top of him, robotic knees digging harshly into his sides, keeping him in place. Jack reaches for it’s throat, and while his fingers do catch on a few loose wires, he can’t curl his fingers enough to rip them out.
In the next second, the omnic has it’s icy, metallic fingers wrapped around Jack’s throat. One of Jack’s hands grabs onto the wrist of the omnic, the other is still blindly reaching for its neck. That hand drops down to join his other when the omnic lifts him high off of the ice, and slams him into it again. The force is brutal, it knocks the air and then some more out of Jack, and for the love of God if he hits his head again-
The omnic continues on, picking up a more would-be gruelling pace, except it doesn’t seem to get very tired and shows no signs of stopping, even when the ice starts to crack beneath them. It’s going to break, Jack realizes. It’s going to break, and we’ll both fall in.
Jack struggles against the omnic for a moment longer, trying to free himself from the vulnerable position, but it becomes clear within the next two seconds that he isn’t going anywhere. His head snaps to the side just in time to see Gabe skidding across the ice, but he’s too far away.
He barely gets a chance to take in any breath, although the little he does manage to take he loses as soon as his body hits the water. There’s still a hand around his throat, which at least prevents him from flooding his lungs with too much water, but the restriction there paired with the suffocating weight of impossibly cold water all around him is making the corners of his vision go dark.
But now he has room to move around. With legs and arms now free, he can pull the omnic down to his own level, and finally grab at those wires. Obviously, omnics are more advanced than cutting the red wire to disarm, so it’s at least 30 seconds of panicked pulling and punching.
—-------------------------------------------
Above them, Gabe stares down into the water, shouting Jack’s name repeatedly. It’s taking everything in him not to jump in there after him, because quite frankly, Gabe isn’t interested in going back to base without the damned Boy Scout. His shotguns lay discarded at his side, something that he never did, in any circumstance, but his worry for Jack was currently taking over his entire brain and it was silencing every alarm bell going off in there.
He waits for what feels like hours, but is realistically barely a minute. He’s just about ready to dive on in when Jack breaks the surface, reaching wildly for some sort of leverage. Gabe is there in an instant, pulling Jack’s heaving body out of the water. Gabe falls onto his back, Jack splayed across his lap awkwardly, coughing water up onto the ice just beside where they lay. One of Gabe’s hands is resting on Jack’s back, and the other is brushing his wet hair off his brow. He only stays like this for a minute, less, even. He needs to get Jack out of this snow. He’d always been eager to get out of this storm, but now there’s a new sense of urgency spurring him into action.
“Jack.. We need to go, now.” When Jack doesn’t respond,and just shakes uncontrollably, pain flashes through his heart. He lifts him up anyway, hands braced under his arms. Jack barely complains- barely says a word, actually. Instead he’s mumbling gibberish. He swings one of Jack’s arms over his shoulders, and keeps a firm hand on his waist. He’s not ashamed or flustered about the fact that he’s pinned Jack’s hand under his own.
At some point during the long walk back, Jack became a lot heavier than he used to be. He was still dragging his feet along, but his body has been curled in towards Gabe’s chest for a while now. In any other scenario, Gabe’s heart would be beating this fast for reasons he’d never wish to confront. But if Jack was openly relying on him this much, then he needed to pick up the pace a little. Jack was making things a little difficult, but it was hardly his fault.
Gabe lets go of Jack’s arm for a second, just to check the GPS, make sure they’re still heading in the right direction. In that second, Jack is slipping away from him, dragging himself and Gabe halfway to the floor. Gabe just about manages to catch him before he falls the full way, and curses to himself.
“Sss-..Sorry.” Jack actually has the audacity to apologize to him, as if he’s to blame. Gabe doesn’t even respond to that for a moment, just focuses on getting Jack hoisted up on his back instead, because his legs proved to be completely dead when he tried to lift him up to stand. But he can practically feel the shame radiating from Jack, so he forces himself to buck up.
“Not your fault, Jack. Please, don’t even try to take the blame.” His hands squeeze around the backs of Jack’s knees. Jack can’t even feel the movement.
“None of this is your fault.” He’s partly glad he can’t see Jack’s face right now, can’t see the emotion that’s surely there, because he knows that that would be the moment he lays his heart bare for him. And that scares him. But right now, with Jack a cold, shaking mess on his back, his want is weighing heavily over his fear. He decides to lock that away for later, when Jack is coherent.
“Almost there now. You’ll be alright, Jack.”
—-------------------------------------------
When Gabe opens the door to their base and steps inside, he’s met with nothing. Both a blessing and a curse. Nobody bad had been led back here, but their team was nowhere to be found. He doesn’t stop to consider their whereabouts, and instead makes sure that they are, in fact, alone. Only when the place is cleared does he prop Jack up on the lumpy couch. He kneels in front of him, and sets to work about removing his soaked boots and coat.
“These need to come off. Okay?” He doesn’t actually wait for him to say it’s okay, because it was just a warning. He’s taking his water heavy clothes off him either way. For all the things that he thought could possibly go wrong on this mission, losing Jack to hypothermia was not one of them. He simply would not let it happen. He removes the layers of shirts first, drops them in the leaking pile of clothes beside the couch. Then he strips the trousers, under-armour, and underwear off of him.
Usually, the fireplace was not the way to go. It gave off smoke, a clear beacon to their position. But there’s no chance that anyone would see it through the thick storm, which would certainly last until late morning. Gabe would stoke it out well before then, to be safe.
So he sets the fire, throws logs over it, and sets up some electric heaters too, to be safe. They’d also suffice for when he put the fire out.
Now, he can finally turn his attention to Jack again. He’s relatively uninjured. He’s not really bleeding, thankfully. There’s only a few cuts and scrapes, all of which are dealt with by Gabe. He patches himself up while he’s at it.
When he turns to Jack again, for the umpteenth time, he’s still shaking as violently as he was outside. He’s kneeling down beside the couch in a second, holding both of Jack’s freezing hands in his own. His fingers have turned a horrible colour, he notices.
“Jesus, Jack.. Are you feeling any better? At all?” He frowns as he rubs Jack’s hands between his. When Jack shakes his head, his stomach plummets to the floor. Maybe if he’d reacted just that little bit quicker, he could’ve put the thing down before anything else could happen. Gabe bites down hard on his lip. His face is starting to hurt, he’s thinking so hard about it.
He only clenches his face even harder when something impossibly colder than him brushes against his cheek. When he looks up, though, his features soften out. Jack has pulled one hand free from his grip, and now his stiff thumb is brushing up and down against his skin, just barely skirting the edge of his bottom lip. He drops it when Gabe smiles at him, and even manages to smile victoriously, like Gabe’s peace was his goal.
Gabe only stares lovingly at him for a moment longer, before he lowers his gaze to his boots. He makes quick work of pulling them off and setting them along the side of the couch, beside Jack’s. When he stands, it’s to remove his own layers.
“W-What..?” Jack grates out, eyebrows knitting together as he watches Gabe, who’s now kicking the last pair of pants he had on into the messy pile he created. Gabe, to his own credit, looks embarrassed now.
He himself knows about his intentions, but to Jack.. maybe not so clear. He doesn’t remove his underwear yet, so that Gabe can retain some semblance of his dignity.
“It’s, uh…… skin to skin contact is good for this type of shit.” He quickly loses the awkwardness he started out with, because this is serious. He’s serious. “This is okay, right?” He frowns down at Jack’s pale face. He doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, at all, but he’s also hellbent on keeping him alive.
There’s a pause where neither of them move. Gabe is about to ask again, to make sure he heard him, when Jack nods. Gabe’s sigh of relief is audible only to himself, and he quickly sets back into action.
He doesn’t shed his underwear or join Jack on the couch yet, and instead hunts for some blankets, sheets, anything to lay over them both. The place has very little resources available, but he does manage to find a couple of itchy blankets. He returns to Jack’s shivering form, and quickly sheds his underwear. His haste seems to amuse Jack, if the tiny little huff is any indication to follow.
“If you wanted to get into bed with me, you could have asked earlier,” is what Gabe discerns from Jack’s mumbling. The statement leaves a blush on his cheeks, but Gabe laughs. He laughs quietly, but he also laughs a lot. He really should never humour Jack like this, it’s going to inflate his ego.
“Wishful thinking, Jack.” Is all Gabe says before he sits down on the couch. Jack has laid himself down already, back against the back of the couch, so Gabe slides himself around to face him. Once they’re covered up to their necks by the blankets, Gabe presses himself against Jack, arms sliding over his sides. He squeezes probably harder than he should, but Jack says nothing, just presses his face into the space under Gabe’s chin.
Gabe thought that this would be the hardest part to get past, actually getting close to Jack, but it was easy. He barely had to think about it, just slotted their bodies together, and it was perfect. Of course, he wishes it were under different circumstances, but just knowing that this is what it’s like to be close, not just physically, is exhilarating.
It knocks the breath out of his lungs, sends his heart skipping. He wonders if Jack can feel it, or even hear it. He must feel the rapid rise and fall of Gabe’s chest, anyway, because he can feel a cold but comforting hand sliding up between them to rest over his heart.
They say nothing but everything at this one moment, and that’s all either of them need.
Gabe angles his face down, just enough to press his lips to Jack’s damp hair, and Gabe can feel the cold press of Jack’s to his neck. They’re so cold. Gabe is reminded of just how bad the situation is, of just how painfully cold even he is now, with almost all of Jack pressed against him. He buries his nose in his hair now, just to get impossibly closer, because what if he doesn’t get this chance again? Either through Jack just wanting nothing to do with him in this sense, because maybe he’s misreading that whole thing between them two seconds ago, or through death. Gabe barely even considers that as an option, he won’t let it happen.
He squeezes Jack once more, and then stays perfectly still, to allow Jack to get some sort of rest. Gabe will of course be staying awake. To make sure nobody hurts them. And he does keep an ear out, but his eyes are glued to Jack’s now peaceful face. A couple times he has to turn all his attention to Jack, just to make sure he’s still breathing, but he always is. Just shallowly. Gabe really can’t do anything more with their lack of resources, so he counts his victories every time he hears Jack’s raspy breaths.
—-------------------------------------------
Gabe isn’t sure how much time has passed by the time Jack stirs again. And violently so. He chokes out aggressive coughs into Gabe’s chest, frozen fingers digging into Gabe’s side. Gabe pats his back through it, doesn’t pull away from the painful grip he has on him.
“You’re okay.” He can tell Jack is trying to force himself to just not cough, he knows he’s kind of embarrassed about being so helpless. Gabe has shared that same sentiment on many occasions. “It’s okay.” He whispers that into the space between them a couple more times, and it must work, because Jack starts to be a bit more open about it.
When he’s done, he’s slumped against Gabe’s chest again. Gabe can see the way his back moves with each heavy breath, and he doesn’t know how he can fix this. He sighs, and opts to run his fingers through Jack’s hair. It’s not totally selfless, he’s doing it for himself too. It gives him something to do with his hands, and while he’s not very affectionate on the best days, he’s always wanted to be soft, for Jack.
They’re quiet for a long time, quiet except for Jack’s still heaving breaths. Quiet until Jack breaks it with a thank you. Gabe isn’t sure how to respond. You’re welcome? For being hypothermic? No problem? This is a big problem, he finds. Anytime? That’s the worst of them all, he thinks.
So he doesn’t respond. Not with words, at least. He just sort of hums, keeps letting his fingers glide through Jack’s now mostly soft hair.
It’s silent for another couple minutes, but neither of them are bothered by it.
“Can you just talk?” Jack’s voice is so quiet and his words are so slurred, he almost misses what he says. His hand stutters in its rhythm for a second or two, then picks back up.
“About what?” Gabe was never great at speaking to fill silence. Conversation never flowed smoothly when half of it relied on him. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to carry the whole thing, but for Jack? He might be able to pull a miracle.
“Anything. Everything.” Jack falls completely silent then, leaving Gabe to it.
“Uhm… Alright.” He pauses, thinks. There’s a lot he hasn’t told Jack, not because he’s being secretive, but because it’s just never been brought up.
He brings them up now. Talks about his mamá, how she’s such a kind soul, but also terrifying at the exact same time. He talks about her a lot, and he thinks Jack even managed to laugh a little through some stories.
He talks about his old job on the force and how boring it was, how this work was so much more suited for him. He didn’t really enjoy this part, though.
He talks about his first girlfriend and how badly he messed that up. They were only young and were going nowhere anyway, but Gabe had managed to make a clusterfuck out of it anyway. He’d never be so careless with Jack, he thinks.
After that thought he stops speaking. He closes his eyes, ignores how loud his heartbeat suddenly is. He loves Jack so much. It sort of surprises him how easy that is to admit to himself. He’d always painted love as scary, hard, and a liability, but loving Jack is so easy, and it’s so pure.
“I love you. I love your voice, I love how stupidly handsome you are, I love how you treat me like a person.” He says it all aloud, squeezes Jack like he's some sort of lifeline
as he says it.
He waits. And waits. Waits.
It takes much too long for him to realize that Jack has gone completely still. Gabe still waits, listens for the raspy breathing, the telltale sign that he was still here.
All he can hear is the crackling of the fire and the faint howl of the storm. He no longer feels giddy with love, he no longer feels the euphoria following his confession, but he doesn’t cry yet.
When he looks down, Jack’s face is still buried in his neck. When he pulls him back he meets no resistance, just the limp weight of his head. It only truly hits him when he sees that Jack’s face is perfectly peaceful. He doesn’t look sad, he doesn’t look the way he did when he was coughing his guts out onto Gabe. He searches for an imperfection in his features, anything to tell him that he’s still here. He knows it’s a selfish thought, but he wishes that Jack would just wake up and feel the pain all over again. He wants him to wake up coughing, just so he can know he’s still here.
And that's why Gabe wonders why it had to be Jack. Gabe is selfish, and cruel, and he can be ugly. Jack is pure, and selfless, and bright, and- and perfect. Gabe never doubted there was a higher power, but he constantly questioned it's intentions. He's always wondered why people lay their lives out for a pure and forgiving God, when this is what it did.
Instead, Gabe is made to stare at this picture of perfection and beauty. It’s mocking him. It’s taunting him. Now, he starts to cry. He does it quietly, even though he’s alone. His nose scrunches, nostrils flared slightly, and he presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth. None of his attempts stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, and at that point he gives up, just lets them run.
Gabe doesn’t bother with trying to wake Jack up. He just lays there and holds him, with his face tucked into Jack’s neck now, so he doesn’t have to look.
—-------------------------------------------
By the time exfil comes, the fire had been put out for hours, and Gabe had dressed both himself and Jack. He’d stopped crying long ago, and tries to seem okay with what had happened while giving a brief on what happened to everyone. It goes perfectly.
It doesn’t go so well when he talks to Ana the day after, but after that, he puts Jack Morrison out of his head completely.