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Chapter Text

fick dich, digga (#2)

Deutschland has created the group "fick dich, digga (#2)"

Deutschland has added Argentina, Australia, Brasil, Canada, 中国, France, भारत/India, Indonesia, Italia, 日本, México, Россия, السعودية, iNingizimu Afrika/Suid-Afrika/South Africa, 한국, Türkiye, United Kingdom, United States and 176 others

Россия
> So. I wonder what this is for.

Deutschland
> why are you the one to chat first

Россия
> Because I can???

United States
> No moderation? Germany, what exactly is the use of this group chat?
> One without UN or EU, but you included ever UN member and the two observers.
> Normally, it'd be made so that only the G7 and/or G20 can talk.

Australia
> or maybe she decided to make this because we need a bit more chaos in our lives
> yknow like those chatfics

Italia
> mmm not that interested with your fanfic reader life
> but we do need it so

France
> «(#2)»? Germany, be a dear and tell us the (#1)

Deutschland
> no
↳ United States
    No moderation? Germany, what exactly is the use of this group chat?
> something urged me to do this and now here we are

Indonesia
> So, the Author?

Argentina
> The what.

Indonesia
> If you know, you know.

↳ Indonesia
    So, the Author?
Deutschland
> sure, think whatever you please

Brasil
> Not really the best way to start the day with the promised chaos, but I'll take what is given.

Deutschland
> wise
> that fick dich is directed to österreich by the way

Österreich
> I hate you too, cousin.

Deutschland
> i can say the same
> also to frankreich and that immortal fuck

France
> What did I ever do to you?

日本
> And who's this 「immortal fuck」 anyways?

Россия
> Yeah, I love you too, dear :)

Deutschland
> what is wrong with you both
> and why am i always associated with you both

México
> You're always seen with them???

Deutschland
> unwillingly

France
> Admittedly a bit heartbroken at that, dear former German Empire.
> Still, my questions remain.

Deutschland
> you did a lot of things
> auntie

France
> I'M NOT
> YOUR

Canada
> Oh God, I forgot me and Germany are half-cousins.

France
> AUNT.

Deutschland
> stop that façade you're being very fake at the moment
> but you're not wrong

中国
> Hopefully I do not regret my choices on staying here.

भारत/India
> We all will, I'm very certain of it.

Deutschland
> stop the formal talk there's no un here to control our speaking

Россия
> Funny how they always portray you as the strict, no rule-breaking, workaholic, no-nonsense person in the fandom.

Deutschland
> don't bring that scheiße up

France
> Please don't.

Australia
> i'm dying 💀
> remember how the only ones who seems to have administrative divisions in the fandom are USA and UK

Italia
> are we talking about that fandom where i'm me but bald and all stereotypes?

iNingizimu Afrika/Suid-Afrika/South Africa
> Yes. Horrid, that fandom.
> I still don't know how the only ones who have ADs are those two.
> "Statehumans", they said, while only showing the US American states.

Colombia
> its funny there

Polska
> Someone explain why I'm so squishy there.

Indonesia
> They like their UwU bottoms, Poland.

한국
> Someone tell me what the fuck I just read.

Россия
> I still don't know why they chose Poland out of everyone for that position lmao

Cuba
> ooh, that fandom. I mean, I don't get mentioned much there, but at least it's historical when I am?

Australia
> the only things you're shown in is literally just the cold war
> not your colonial history
> or your present shit (mostly)

Türkiye
> Indonesia, politely, what in the name of God?

Indonesia
> Humans.

Türkiye
> Understandable, I must admit.

Россия
> And I'm the drunk one with the ushanka, apparently.
> Oh, I'm also gay for men there.
> Kazakhstan is my brother apparently.

Қазақстан
> We are?
> So you're saying I had a sister this whole time, and it's you?
> Nothing against that, but I just...

Россия
> NO, NOT ACTUALLY.
> But for the humans, we're biological siblings, alongside Ukraine and Belarus.
> And the Union is our father.

Україна
> Why would the four of us be siblings.
> And considering you're specifying, I'd say there're the adopted ones.

Беларусь
> Could've recalled you're a woman, Russia.
> Same as the USSR.

Indonesia
> For the Author, yes. But in popular fandom canon, no.

Россия
> What he says.
> I think (for the first part).
> And yeah there are adopted siblings.

Australia
> i'm still wondering why all the 15 Soviet Republics are siblings lmfao

საქართველო
> WHAT.

Беларусь
> 15?

Deutschland
> yes 15
> they don't consider the fact that the ussr wasn't always made up of 15 republics

Eesti
> I find that quite unnerving.

Latveja
> Someone tell me why the humans ever thought of this

France
> They're madlads.

Canada
> In a bad way, hopefully?

Deutschland
> yes
> like you

Lietuva
> I still don't understand why you dislike him that much.

United States
> The Great War.

Lietuva
> I suppose I'll take that answer.

Deutschland
> second time
> stop being formal here

Россия
> Funny thing is, the 15 republics all lived together in harmony, in a completely normal household, lacking all the abuse.

Moldova
> I am having a hard time of believing all this.
> The humans made this?

France
> I have a feeling Russia forgot the fact that she's gay for United States over there.

United States
> I do not condone that behaviour.
> Hopefully, it is not the same in real life.

Россия
> WHY WOULD IT BE.
> I hope the same, though.
> Great minds think alike.
> And stop being in denial, you and the Union behave similarly.

United States
> I am in no way similar personality-wise to that wretched demon.

Россия
> Ouch.
> You aren't wrong about that last part, though.

Тоҷикистон
> Come to think of it.
> I just remembered the lack of a Personification for the RSFSR under the USSR.
> Not the RSFSR prior to that.

Россия
> About that.

O‘zbekiston/Ўзбекистон
> I'm still wondering why you're the one taking offense when the USSR is getting insulted.

Polska
> How many times must I say, that the Union is the Empire, and that the Federation is the Union.

Lietuva
> Sister, sorry, but you are being a tad bit delusional there.
> Hungary even has his doubts.

Magyarország
> I have mixed feelings on that.
> Sorry, Polska.

Deutschland
> you're all idiots i swear to god it's so simple
> the amount of hints in unbelievable

Polska
> As long as it's from you, anything is accepted.

France
> Do you even believe in god?

Deutschland
> 53/47

France
> Where's the «yes» and the «no» among those numbers?

Deutschland
> guess

Suomi
> The Empire died, Poland.
> I saw her corpse.
> That is not something I can just imagine.
> Her son killed him.

Россия
> I mean...

Colombia
> i mean they got serious right
> yourent serious on text though
> to alemania

Deutschland
> not wrong

Россия
> Oh, and one more thing.

Schweiz/Suisse/Svizzera
> For research; do you have any siblings, Russia?

Россия
> I have an older twin.
> He's still alive.
> He literally just texted in here.
> Technically he doesn't know it's me, but he knows it's me.
> Anyways, it's a funny thing to think about the differences our Germany and the fandom Germany has concerning her family.

France
> YOU HAVE A WHAT.
> WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME.

Россия
> FRANCE, YOU DID NOT ASK.
> IF YOU DID THAT, I WOULD HAVE ANSWERED ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE.
> I'm getting sidetracked again.
> Germany is commonly portrayed as the younger brother of East Germany, which means s(he) is West there. :)

Deutschland
> don't call me a man.
> and stop with the face emoticons i dislike them
> especially that

Россия
> Uh, oh. Germany's using periods now.
> No :)
> Yeah, and she's the Nazi State's kid.

Österreich
> She's what.

Lëtzebuerg/Luxembourg/Luxemburg
> Could've sworn it was the other way.

Nederland
> West Germany is the father of that fuck?

Lëtzebuerg/Luxembourg/Luxemburg
> You are not wrong, sister.
> She is the West anyways. Alongside the East.
> But more like, Reich II is the mother of Nazi State.

Belgique/België/Belgien
> That's odd to think about, not gonna lie.

Česko
> Nazi State's father?

Россия
> Der Deutsches Kaiserreich. Sometimes, Österreich-Magyarország is portrayed as his other father/mother.

Magyarország
> WHAT.

Österreich
> Shouldn't it be the opposite in the terms of roles?

Schweiz/Suisse/Svizzera
> So you're saying that Reich II is his father and also his son.

Россия
> Don't compare it with the real world, Switzerland.
> German Empire and Germany are different people in the fandom.

Australia
> Isn't that the same case with the Weimar Republic and Nazi State?

Россия
> Yes.

Slovensko
> So you're saying. Those two. Aren't the same person?

Россия
> In popular fanon, yes. They're brothers, alongside Austria and Hungary.

Österreich
> ???
> I'm not questioning that.

Cuba
> that can technically make sense, following ch logic.
> but ehh, that fandom has no canon design.

Indonesia
> Where we are, there is one.
> Us.
> But in the Author's reality, yes, that is true.

Magyarország
> Let me guess. Austria-Hungary and us both are different people.

Россия
> You're smart.
> Yes.

Deutschland
> notice the unwritten „unusually“
> love the sarcasm, little shit

Россия
> I love yours as well.
> I influenced that anyways B)
> I'm older than you.

Deutschland
> technically, yes, you're more than a millennia
> physically, you're 20
> i'm 29
> mickey

Россия
> How many times must I tell you that I am not a mouse???

Sverige
> She's how old.

Norge/Noreg
> You're 20. And a millennia.

Danmark
> WHAT.
> I know you're wayyy younger than most of us in terms of how you look.
> But you're more than 1000 years old???

Россия
> I'm not that young compared to your looks.
> But yes.

Deutschland
> fine
> tall twig

Россия
> ... not wrong.

United States
> You are 7 foot tall and clearly underweight, I must agree with Germany.

Россия
> I've always been underweight lmao.

Deutschland
> twice a demon
> and you can't swim

Россия
> DUDE.
> GERMANY.
> DARLING.
> MINE.
> NO.

Deutschland
> hold your obsession for a moment
> i'm not lying

Россия
> You aren't, yes, but why???

Deutschland
> Just because.

Россия
> >:(
> Fine.
> @everyone have this picture.
> ddr w/ elec. guitar.png
    Transcript: The picture has Germany with a black open half-button jumper and dark grey trousers, sitting on a light grey couch with her legs brought up to the cushioned back, herself leaning on it's arm, with a black and white electric guitar on her stomach. Something reminiscent of a collar can be seen on her neck. Her left hand is holding the guitar, while a black phone is on her right hand. Her hair is tied back, and her round glasses slightly sliding down her nose. 

Deutschland
> what is wrong with you

Italia
> im sorry but is that a???

Deutschland
> which one

Italia
> the one under your???
> bro???

Deutschland
> what are you
> oh
> that

Österreich
> I'm not judging.
> But politely;
> What in the world.

United Kingdom
> I'm leaking the chat.

Deutschland
> NO

Россия
> Oh, fuck, she's going to go feral.
> She's finally using capital letters.
> Not going to lie, I'd prefer if you don't turn into Reichtangle.

Chapter Text

fick dich, digga

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland) changed the subject from "fick dich, digga" to "fick dich, digga (#1)"

fick dich, digga (#1)

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> i'm still very annoyed i can't change my name for a whole year

Outcast No. 2 Hasso (Hessen)
> It's your fault.
> You gave Heidemarie power so this happened.
> She started this whole Hamburger cult anyways.

Goddess Hannelore (Hamburg)
> I did not consent to this.

Co-Vice Leader Sieglinde (Sachsen)
> we know, dear therapist of ours.
> we don't particularly care though.
> a pity that Brandy doesn't want to join in.

Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg)
> I am sane.

↳ Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg)
    I am sane.
Outcast No. 3 Steffen (Thüringen)
> No.

Member No. 1 Gustav (Berlin)
> If Steffen says so, it must be right.

Co-Vice Leader Heidemarie (Niedersachsen)
> Definitely.
> Why is the group name #1?
> You made a second group without me?
> I am severely hurt by this behaviour, Röschen.

Member No. 9 Elfriede (Saarland)
> SHE DID WHAT???
> I just realised that
> >:(((
> I know youre our country but why didnt you invite us there
> I know youre pissed with us
> but just
> why

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> no
> country only

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> most of us literally used to be countries
> like me
> only reason why was because of your father, that Saupreiß

Member No. 8 Colbrecht (Schleswig-Holstein)
> His name is literally Preußen.

Member No. 3 Augusta (Baden-Württemberg)
> i think that's the whole point of everything

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> un members and observers

Member No. 5 Irmgard (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)
> fick dich

Member No. 6 Anton (Sachsen-Anhalt)
> you were never a country before, shut up.

Member No. 5 Irmgard (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)
> i was literally a grand duchy, and half of you is a principality. shut your goddamn mouth.

↳ Member No. 5 Irmgard (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)
    fick dich
Member No. 7 Parsifal (Rhineland-Pfalz)
> thank you for mentioning the name of this group, woman.

Member No. 6 Anton (Sachsen-Anhalt)
> fick I thought you were elfriede.
> not sorry though.

Member No. 9 Elfriede (Saarland)
> WOW.
> Just because Im the only one among the 16 of us who has never been a literal country
> doesnt mean you can do that
> ... but Im quite sure that one time I was a french protectorate counts as one
↳ Member No. 1 Gustav (Berlin)
    If Steffen says so, it must be right.
> also we should make this our number 2 rule after the 1st one

Member No. 10 Abraham (Bremen)
> ngl thatd work well digga
> so
> rule no.1, always give hannelore hamburgers when you have one
> rule no.2, steffen is always right

Co-Vice Leader Sieglinde (Sachsen)
> i like that rule

Goddess Hannelore (Hamburg)
> I do not.

Co-Vice Leader Heidemarie (Niedersachsen)
> We're putting that in.

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> have you done your paperwork

Outcast No. 2 Hasso (Hessen)
> Why are you even asking that question?
> You know very well the ones that do it are just me, Steffen, Arnulf, and Sieglinde.
> Everyone else slacks.

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> yeah and i still have 12 stacks of paperwork to do because of that

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> none of us are sorry
> sucks to be you
> being a federal country and all that

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> i will make you do yours

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> make martina do hers first

Member No. 4 Martina (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
> Don't bring me into this
> You have it worse
> Seppl.

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> well she won't be able to persuade me

Co-Vice Leader Sieglinde (Sachsen)
> so her husband just informed me she's gone to bayern.
> i suggest you hide.

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> what's she going to do?
> steal my cars?
> wait no she'll do that
> no don't do that

Outcast No. 3 (Thüringen)
> She'll steal and sell them.

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> FICK HOW IS SHE HERE ALREADY
> @Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg) I DON'T UNDERSTAND PLATTDEUTSCH PLEASE TRANSLATE
> WAIT NO I THINK THAT'S OLD PRUSSIAN NOW
> ONLY YOU SPEAK IT
> SHE'S YELLING AT ME FROM MY LAWN
> HOW'D SHE GET IN

Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg)
> I am not there, how am I supposed to translate?

Outcast No. 2 Hasso (Hessen)
> Uh oh.

Member No. 4 Martina (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
> Very glad that ain't me

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> plattdeutsch nonsense.mp4
> SCHEISSE SHE'S IN MY GARAGE

Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg)
> She is threatening to take one bite out of all your food.
> Also to steal and sell all your cars with a low price.
> And to burn your house down.
> Her voice is distorting into Reichtangle.

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> SHE'S WHAT
> NO SHE CAN'T JUST TURN INTO THAT TEETH MONSTER WITH KINKY TENTACLES IN MY HOUSE

Goddess Hannelore (Hamburg)
> Kinky tentacles...?

Member No. 2 Kaspar (Bayern)
> you genuinely think she's never used them for something kinky?
> IURHIUHGIRHG

Member No. 10 Abraham (Bremen)
> digga you ok?

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> he's fine
> now i only have 11 more to take care of

Member No. 10 Abraham (Bremen)
> ???
> as in the stacks of paperwork or us???

Outcast No. 3 Steffen (Thüringen)
> You all.

↳ Member No. 4 Martina (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
    Very glad that ain't me
Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> yet

Member No. 4 Martina (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
> WHAT

Member No. 3 Augusta (Baden-Württemberg)
> she's gonna kill all 11 of us like she did with Kaspar

Member No. 8 Colbrecht (Schleswig-Holstein)
> Fick this scheiße.

Member No. 1 Gustav (Berlin)
> Dear God.

Member No. 9 Elfriede (Saarland)
> this is a manhunt

Member No. 3 Augusta (Baden-Württemberg)
> FICK FICK FICK
> YOU'RE HERE ALREADY???

Member No. 7 Parsifal (Rhineland-Pfalz)
> i bid you good luck.

Member No. 6 Anton (Sachsen-Anhalt)
> is she dead alr?

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> no, i just ate her marmalade
> she loves her marmalade

Member No. 4 Martina (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
> ???
> alright who's next

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> two is enough
> the same can't be said for next month

Goddess Hannelore (Hamburg)
> Oh God.

Member No. 1 Gustav (Berlin)
> Oh fick I forgot this myself, but we're supposed to have a State Meeting today.

Outcast No. 1 Arnulf (Brandenburg)
> When?

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> now

Co-Vice Leader Sieglinde (Sachsen)
> you're gonna be late again, aren't you?

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> no, of course not, i am a responsible country personification

Outcast No. 2 Hasso (Hessen)
> I can smell the sarcasm from a few kilometres away.

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> you shouldn't've asked in the first place

Member No. 9 Elfriede (Saarland)
> why do you dislike us so much

Leader Rosamunde (Deutschland)
> because you all are you

Member No. 5 Irmgard (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)
> not a valid reason.

Outcast No. 3 (Thüringen)
> Understandable.

Chapter Text

Rhythmic clicks from one's heel can be heard echoing in the meeting room where the Germans agreed of one, Hesse's brows furrowed as he frowned, letting out an exasperated sigh from his mouth. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he finally said, "Gottverdammt, she's always late. If there's a way for me to forcefully coerce her into coming in at least on time, I will do that." he looked at the table in front of him absentmindedly, his arms crossed as his frowned seemingly went even deeper.

"Thuringia," Berlin started, the state in question taking his time to glance at the capital at the mention of his name, "What do you think she's doing? And don't ask why you specifically, she had a former obsession with you when she was younger—never mind the fact that you both are cousins. I have a feeling you should know."

"Don't." the others could practically hear the unspoken 'bring that up' following his first words, but he continued on, "SM."

A scoff can be heard from Mecklenburg-West Pomerania, as she now spoke, "Her socials? I mean, yeah, sure. She's probably still sleeping on her bed or something." taking a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, she caught a glimpse of Brandenburg's look, clearly reminding her that no smoking can be done here. "What?" the words were directed at Brandenburg, but the other states seemingly reacted at that, placing their attentions on her completely. "Fine, I'm not going to smoke."

"I thought you're stopping." Hamburg frowned, leaning back on her chair as she scribbled something incomprehensible on the paper in front of her. "You said that a few days ago, withdrawal, I suppose?" she eyed the other woman with a questioning look, raising a brow in curiosity.

"It's hard." she spoke in a matter-of-factly tone, placing the pack back to the pocket inside her sleeveless puffer jacket, as she went on, "I'm still wondering how Germany stopped smoking pipe. It's been 70 years since she became the Country Personification of Germany again after that revolution, and she has never once touched pipe again." placing a hand around her chair's back as she shifted her position so she could sit more comfortably with where her arm was. 

"I forgot she used to smoke." Bavaria muttered, dusting himself from all the debris from his prior escape situation with his country. "When's the last time we've seen her do that anyways? The Great War, wasn't it?" wincing slightly as his hand touched his abdomen—noting that he had hit a few sharp edges—from that horror plot, muttering a small "Saupreiß.", he paused to think of it. Not long after, he corrected himself, "Wait, no, sometime before Versailles, but after the Armistice. 1919, that's for sure."

"And after that self-exile period, we see her rocking a completely feminine set after the whole daddy issues debacle with Prussia." Bremen continued Bavaria's words, as he waved his pen around with his words. "I mean, yeah her hair was shoulder-length when she left to Switzerland, but goddamn that's an unexpected yet deserved change. Most of us always saw her as a man more than anything, because of, you know." taking a quick glance at Brandenburg, Bremen noticed the other raising a brow at his words. "Brandenburg's negligence."

"I did not neglect her." he frowned, and continued, "I gave her attention, Prussia just decided to force her to cross-dress, when she did not want. That word should be given to him instead." keeping a poker face, he leafed through the papers present in front of him, realising he had less compared to the 12 that didn't do their paperwork. Considering Germany arranged them, he figured it was due to her... being thankful. Which was something odd to think about.

"Yeah, and she thought Lübeck was her biological mother and you were her biological father. And that Prussia was just a random man living in her house." Bremen commented, before asking, "Why'd you never corrected her? You're her mother, technically, so... I'd expected you would, genuinely. As a fellow former member of the Hanseatic League with her, I was a bit surprised when Lübeck said that."

Saxony was the one to speak after her attention was taken by a certain word in the city-state's sentence. "It's not just technically, it's biological in a literal sense. She's my fucking niece for whoever's up there's sake." she elbowed her older brother, who only let out a disgruntled sound at that.

"Not wrong." he started, before speaking further, "She didn't seem to mind it. If Prussia decides to ignore her before her puberty, then go on, sure, her thinking process at the time was better for her psyche, genuinely." his eyes flicked to the room's tall doors as he thought he had seen a slight movement from that direction.

"Psyche." Lower Saxony repeated, before elaborating, "Huh, wasn't that the name of that weird group that killed that millionaire's daughter? Or, you know, Germany's last case as a detective before she retired..." she came to an abrupt halt, as she went on and had a re-thinking of her choice of words. "did Florentina Hohenzstaffel even retire? I don't even know."

"Cold case, but I'm sure she solved it. I'm also sure that she left because of Psyche. Whatever that is." Brandenburg's words hung in the air, before every state there noticed the door creaking open.

"Finally, you came." Baden-Württemberg spoke, as the familiar of the figure in dark clad emerged from the other side. "What took you so long now?" she questioned, raising a brow at the younger's direction, her eyes travelling at the guitar case on her back.

"I was in the studio for a while." she replied, nearing the table as she placed her case in front of where she is supposed to sit. "Doing a bit of texting with the other countries in fick dich number 2. UK threatening to leak the chat isn't something I'd like to deal with." she continued, as she finally sat down, not minding Berlin's expression at the case which sprawled on the table. Taking a good look at her, she was wearing the exact same things from what Russia pictured about half-an-hour ago.

"What's in that case? Couldn't be a guitar, no?" Rhineland-Palatinate jokingly asked, only to be met with a deadpan look from the woman on the other side of the room. "What, is it an AW50 instead?"

Narrowing her eyes at him, she retorted, "Well, what if it is? I wonder what you're going to do if it is." a sarcastic tone can be figured out easily, as Saarland seemingly smirked at that.

"Digga, your guitar can literally transform into an AW50." snickering under her breath with a mischievous look, a response was granted, as Germany simply scoffed at her words, glancing at her ominously.

"Then you shouldn't've asked." she snapped, looking at every one of them with a tad bit of annoyance present in her eyes, her words not directed to anyone in particular. "Anyways, Berlin, bring out the topics for today. We're doing this quick, because I don't like meetings, and there's one more I have to attend in the evening." she grumbled, grabbing the papers in front of her as she looked through each one of them quickly with no particular care present.

Berlin stood from his seat and started mentioning the main topic of today, "Work." scrunching his face at that, he looked at his country with a flabbergasted look as she simply scoffed, signaling him to simply continue. "Specifically with the paperwo- oh come on!" he interrupted his own words, as he slumped back to his chair.

Taking in the negative expressions of every other state in the room, it was Germany's turn to speak once more, as she opened her mouth and reiterated, "Work, specifically the paperwork. UN will personally check on you every end of the week on the progress you've all made, this is directed to the federal countries." a broad smirk made itself present on her face, as North Rhine-Westphalia raised her hand. "Yes?"

"You're being for real right now. Right? Hopefully, you aren't, and you're just spitting out bullshit." she replied, pinching the bridge of her nose in the end.

"If it makes all of us feel better, I'm not." she answered, knowing full well that it wouldn't, for the twelve who does not do their work anyways. "Go ask him directly, if you would. Stupid, the fact that we get obligatory paperwork now, only because of the League and Union, but whatever. This 'federal exception' only appeared since UN, and I'm grateful that now I don't have to do all twelve of those."

Saxony-Anhalt stood up from his seat, banging a hand on the table loudly, as he protested, "Why would it ever make us feel better?" scowling at the thought on having to do any kind of paperwork, he sat down after that, allowing her to reply.

"I said we, not you, we includes me, and of course, I am feeling better. You, I know you all aren't, but that isn't my matter to dwell in." Germany retorted, as she opened her case, revealing her monochromatic electric guitar.

"I'm sure all of us agree to just say, 'fick dich', to you." Schleswig-Holstein piped up, arms crossed as he looked at Hesse's direction, who (un)surprisingly had a victorious smile on his face, for whatever reason that may be.

"I don't particularly care." she spoke, grabbing her electric guitar, slinging it on her, leaving the case opened behind, as she walked to the direction of the door, finally speaking out, "Dismissed."

Knowing full well that her case wouldn't be tampered with, she took the stairs and walked right up to the rooftop of the building she was in, and decided on taking a seat on the ground, while leaning on the concrete walls which only goes up to her waist of all things. Adjusting her guitar so that it wouldn't get damaged, she grabbed her phone from her pocket, all the while muttering something about the formerly discussed 'psyche' and how it irked her. Wearing the earphones attached to it and picking some random Rammstein track, she opened the certain app where she and the other Personifications often texted, and went to a certain group chat which had a surprising amount of notifications.

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

Prussian Spawn was changed to that cousin obsessed shithole by Revolutionist-monger

that cousin obsessed shithole
> why did you
> frankreich what is wrong with you
> not anymore

Revolutionist-monger
> I do whatever I want, darling.

that cousin obsessed shithole changed their nickname to i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed Revolutionist-monger as an admin

Revolutionist-monger was changed to i committed regicide and patricide at the same time by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> You aren't wrong, but how dare you remove me as admin >:(
> But I'm curios on your name.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i made this
> i have full control
> just guess

Austria(-Hungary)
> What in the name of hell did you make with my mother.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you

(Austria-)Hungary
> That... does not sound right.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed Austria(-Hungary) as an admin

Austria(-Hungary) was changed to i blinded myself and my brother by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i blinded myself and my brother
> My only question is why.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> because you're austrian

i blinded myself and my brother
> I can say the same, Piefke.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh wow, i thought you had an infatuation with me

i blinded myself and my brother
> Formerly.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed (Austria-)Hungary as an admin

(Austria-)Hungary was changed to i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother
> Is this some sort of purge?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes

The «Neutral» Favourite Son
> How about we have a family reunion—completely.
> Including those adopted and married into the family.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> I like that idea. Let us see who manages to kill one another first.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed The «Neutral» Favourite Son as an admin

The «Neutral» Favourite Son was changed to i am greed, i evade conscription by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Though I agree with the name;
> It is my turn to ask why.
> And if you would, do add every member alive while you're at it.
> The Low Countries aren't online at the moment.
> Most likely.

Van der Zee
> I am.
> Who should I add?
> I like this idea.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed Van der Zee as an admin

Van der Zee was changed to i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> wh

Gunsmith Man/wo
> Ask Russia if it goes to family, I'm 99.9999% sure she knows :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i didn't think of that
> anyways

Gunsmith Man/wo
> oh fuck
> Don't bring Light in this as well

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it removed Gunsmith Man/wo and Lightbringer (but not Lucifer) as admins

Gunsmith Man/wo was changed to i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Lightbringer (but not Lucifer) was changed to i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> what
> what do you mean by that

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> I am literally a generation above you, Ned.
> I don't know how you misunderstood Spain that bad
> That you thought I was your sister of all things.

i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
> Why is my name this way?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> they bleed the truth
> except that last part

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Go ask Russia, if you would.
> Wait, why would she even have our family tree?
> And why «Bitch Brother»?
> I thought Austria is his older twin sister.

Reading the last part of Switzerland's messages, she rolled her eyes as she reluctantly went on and opened Russia's contact, before realising that Russia can literally materialise herself in front of her because she's Russia and because she's Germany.

"Stupid ass... come out I know you're somewhere around me." she grumbled, before the sight of Russia simply just appeared in front of her, as her iconic smile widened at her sight. "I still don't understand why you chose that creepy smile as basically your trademark."

"Some questions should be left unanswered, dear." Russia replied, before sitting down beside the German, as she unplugged Germany's earphones out, making her look much more annoyed than she originally was before. "Family tree, family tree... yeah, I have that, got it from Piedmont-Sardinia, and I reconstructed it. So I guess it's technically his family tree, but considering his brother Italy got adopted by a part of your grandfather, he's technically your adopted uncle."

"And? Give me a list of everyone related to me, I'd prefer if you do it about... now." Germany stated, as she leaned on the wall behind her, bringing a knee closer as she placed an arm on it.

"Every Personification alive, yes?"

"Yes, and I'd appreciate if you do it now–" her words were interrupted as the albino-looking-but-not-an-albino woman started to chant out the names of every Personification related to her, including through adoption, marriage, and the illegitimate members. Fuck. That is a lot. was what came to her mind as the other kept on listing.

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> digga

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Stop saying «dude», if you would?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why are we related to so many personifs

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> And, those might be...?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> blood related first, adoption last?

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Whatever you please, niece.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> don't call me that
> it sounds weird
> we act like we're acquaintances and not relatives
> look at the group's nam

i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
> You certainly have a point.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> so
> hre's side first

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> That is a bit unfair, isn't it?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> go ask your crush directly, then

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> hwat

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> Bro's flabbergasted.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> order of malta

i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother
> Does he even have a number?

i blinded myself and my brother
> Why would he ever?

i am greed, i evade conscription
> He actually does.
> I'm positive Vatican City has his number.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> brandenburg, czechia, saxony, hesse, thuringia

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Ah, those five. Add them in here, if you would?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Brandenburg, Česko, Hessen, Sachsen, and Thüringen

Sachsen
> ???
> so you're telling me.
> you made a family group without us this whole time???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> it's supposed to be just countries
> but scroll up on why you five are added

Česko
> What am I, then?

Hessen
> A spectre.
> Wait, why am I here, again? I don't recall ever being related to you.

Brandenburg
> Yes, why is he here?
> And Tschechien, don't mind him.

Česko
> It doesn't matter.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i don't know ask russia
> i only asked her to recite the names
> not show me the family tree

Česko
> And as always, Ernst Steffen is a man of little words.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'll change your names later
> hold on

Sachsen
> what promise did you even make???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> scroll more
> that's it from my branch
> wait no
> poland and lithuania
> because albrecht sigisbert married commonwealth

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Polska and Lietuva

Polska
> There is a reason why you should not make a promise with that traitor.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i know
> where's your brother

Lietuva
> I'm right HERE, thank you.
> And what about this family reunion?
> Fuck, I don't like this.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> weep
> complain to @i am greed, i evade conscription over there

i am greed, i evade conscription
> No need to tag me all the while.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah
> does nouvelle-aquitaine count?
> @i committed regicide and patricide at the same time

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Yes.

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> That's my brother, of course he counts.
> Well, 1/3rd of him is.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Nouvelle-Aquitaine

Nouvelle-Aquitaine
> Your brother is mostly what I am made of, so it's more like 5/8th of myself.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> so there's canada

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> The nephew I acknowledge and the only Personification who managed to physically harm you?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fick dich
> oui

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Oui???
> I expected something more like «Ja».
> But I won't protest.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has muted i committed regicide and patricide at the same time for 30 minutes

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Canada

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you should note that i despise fake people such as you
> even if you have the same things as poland, she doesn't mask it

Canada
> What have I ever done to you?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you're just like our auntie for fucks sake

Sachsen
> oh my, i forgot france's your aunt.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> half
> but her mother and my grandmother are sisters
> so she and my father shares the same grandparents on both sides
> frankreich is a fucking hure

Sachsen
> maybe reflect on that last bit???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's different
> usa

Canada
> Oh, yes, I forgot he's related to me through Netherlands.

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> HE ISN'T MY SON.

i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
> He isn't your son legitimately.

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> Thank you, brother.

i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
> He is your illegitimate son.

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
> I TRUSTED YOU WITH THAT
> HE IS NOT MY SON
> I DO NOT CLAIM HIM

i blinded myself and my brother
> Sure.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added United States

United States
> Are you being completely serious and sane at the moment, Germany?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes
> i am not sane though
> only the adopted ones are left

i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother
> Drop the names, cousin.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> from middle francia's side
> italy and provence-alpes-côte d'azur

i blinded myself and my brother
> French.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Italia and Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur

Italia
> whats this about a family reunion?
> oh fuck i forgot im related to you through adoption
> wait im your adopted uncle, germania???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> apparently yes
> there's council of europe and european union because frankreich decided to adopt the younger
> the older's brought in too

i am greed, i evaded conscription
> Add them in, then.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe and Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Germany, care to explain?

i am greed, i evaded conscription
> So, I will be hosting a family reunion.
> Which includes you, and your brother.

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> When might that be? Because our schedule is quite packed.
> Hopefully we can attend.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why would you even attend

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Pardon, but who are you again?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> allemagne

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Wait, what?
> So, who answered me???

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> Sister, Germany seldom types in capital letters.
> And by looking at the nicknames, it is quite obvious on who answered you.
> Switzerland.

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Ah, him.
> Makes sense.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> liechtenstein

i am greed, i evade conscription
> I was waiting for you to mention him.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Liechtenstein

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Glad to have you here, brother.

Liechtenstein
> Likewise.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why are you both so formal
> anyways we're done

United States
> Really?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no
> you got adopted by nato
> or i guess he was thirteen colonies while you were new netherland

United States
> He was also the Confederacy, just a simple reminder.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah and you used to be the dominion of new england
> anyways

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Organisation du Traité de l'Atlantique Nord/North Atlantic Treaty Organization

Organisation du Traité de l'Atlantique Nord/North Atlantic Treaty Organization
> I do not find it necessary to be here.

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Oh, NATO.
> But you must.
> Any other people?

Organisation du Traité de l'Atlantique Nord/North Atlantic Treaty Organization
> My father.
> I am his bastard.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oui
> royaume-uni

i blinded myself and my brother
> Is this actually the Piefke or frankreich in disguise?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> shut your mouth
> you don't deserve one
> maybe i should just take it

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> I'd appreciate if you stop threatening your cousin, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no
> you're younger than me
> respect the elders
> you have no say over me

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> I simply do not know what to say.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added United Kingdom

United Kingdom
> Shall I leak this as well?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no.
> your parents and your sister is next
> and your mother's ex husband

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Alba/Scotland, Commonwealth of Nations, Cymru/Wales, and England

Cymru/Wales
> Absolute fucker.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i am nearing the end

Alba/Scotland
> so, a reunion of families? this would be interesting.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Écosse!
> It seems that I have something to look after anyways.
> I can finally speak, for goodness sake.

Commonwealth of Nations
> Not anything good.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you'll have one more person to expect in this reunion
> i hate that maybe-but-not-so-stalker so much

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Russie?
> Wait, she's included in the tree?

United States
> She's what.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'll get to that later
> so we got the nordics

Canada
> I'm only asking how we're related to them.

England
> Through me.
> I can't believe this.

Sachsen
> Oh yeah, you married north sea empire
> wait random question
> are we related by any chance?
> you're formerly Wessex, right?

England
> I hope not.
> That would mean my human father is related to your mother.
> I do not know.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> wait i need to add england's siblings first

United Kingdom
> Blimey.
> She's going to go mad if Kent's invited.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh trust me
> he'll be here

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added County Durham, East Sussex, Essex, Kent, Norfolk, Northumberland, Suffolk, and West Sussex

Kent
> shit

Northumberland
> shit indeed, brother.

County Durham
> England's mad.

Norfolk
> I am not looking forward to this, brothers.

Suffolk
> Oh really? I on the other hand, certainly am.

Essex
> Ahah, we don't count, I get it.

East Sussex
> What the fuck.

West Sussex
> Indeed,

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> hold on let me add the nordics for a minute

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Danmark, Ísland, Norge/Noreg, Suomi, and Sverige

Suomi
> Perkele.
> Why must I be related to Ruotsi at all.

Danmark
> That's your dad and my brother, Finnie.

Suomi
> I hate him.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> a lot of us have daddy issues you're not alone
> i'm adding the rest of the children of the nordics

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat, Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador, and Россия

Россия
> FINALLY.
> FUCKING HELL.

Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat
> Why am I even here...
> I hate you all.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> I still can't believe we're in the same greater family tree.

Россия
> Through adoption.
> But yeah :)

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Ooohh, I'll be meeting the nordics again :DDD
> In a battle to the death, I presume???

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Absolutely.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Totally.

Norge/Noreg
> Yes.

Ísland
> Unfortunately.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh yeah you're divorced to siberia, right?

Россия
> Clearly???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Сибирь

Сибирь
> Not appreciated.

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Maybe hurry the names, niece?
> My break is ending, and I must do some more testing.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> where do you even work

Россия
> Oh, you know.
> Sceptre.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what.
> fine
> i just need to add the kids

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Alax̂sxax̂/Alaska, Беларусь, and Україна

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what are you even testing

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Some sentient coat.

Alax̂sxax̂/Alaska
> Not a kid, Germany.
> Not a kid.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> still hers
> what else, @i am greed, i evade conscription?

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Some near-immortal lizard. Nothing much.

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> Where do you even fucking work.

Беларусь
> In a lab 🙄

Україна
> You're a bit of a dunce sometimes.

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> In what establishment?

Россия
> Probably gonna be [REDACTED] lmfao.

i am greed, i evade conscription
> The usual.

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

Sachsen
> wait you didn't invite Heidemarie.
> aka Niedersachsen.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh wait
> she's still married to vk, isn't she

United Kingdom
> So you mean we aren't divorced yet?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you're the one married to her
> you should genuinely know whether or not you divorced her or not
> and yeah i forgot about her
> wait a minute

Россия
> More like you didn't pay attention to my words 🙄

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> shut up
> your opinion doesn't matter

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has muted Россия for 30 minutes

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Niedersachsen

Niedersachsen
> This is an interesting group.
> Well, at least you remembered adding me.
> Also, @United Kingdom, I'm not surprised you forgot.

England
> Why? Is it because he's such an insolent husband for you?

United Kingdom
> I have a feeling you have something against me, mother.

England
> I don't.
> You just dress weirdly, and I don't like it.

Niedersachsen
> No, it's because I forgot as well.
> Also, one question.
> Are you and @Sachsen 100% sure you're not blood-related to each other in any way?

Sachsen
> actually, idrk.
> my mother never talked about her relatives that much.
> i'm sure my brothers don't know as well.

Česko
> I'm not that close with our mother.
> Maybe ask Brandenburg.

Brandenburg
> Neither am I.
> You're the closest to our mother, sister.

Sachsen
> well idk.
> what about England's siblings?

Niedersachsen
> Well I want answers.
> Because that'll mean I have some sort of legitimate claim on being the real Saxony.
> Rather than just my name.

Sachsen
> YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SAXONY FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
> I AM.

Niedersachsen
> You're up there.
> The original Saxons were down here.

Sachsen
> well i migrated.
> i'm still the real Saxony.
> the original Saxony was my mother.
> i have the more legitimate claim.

Niedersachsen
> Looking at your position on the map; no, you aren't.

Sachsen
> whatever.
> we haven't got a confirmation from England and her siblings anyways.

England
> I'm doubtful my Angle brothers and that disappointing Jute knows much about my father's lineage.
> And I am not that close to my Saxon father.
> You should ask either Essex or any/both of the Sussexes.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> your nicknames are boring
> all of you

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Your nicknames are quite overkill and straight-to-the-point hard truth, Germany.

England
> No.
> I'd rather not be called anything ridiculous.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> be grateful i'm lazy atm
> i'll do it later

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Thank the gods.

England
> You don't even believe in any.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> ???
> I do.

England
> Well then, stop acting like you don't.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> This is just a hate crime.

Essex
> Because it is.
> And I don't know about my lineage much, Saxony.
> Sorry not sorry.

West Sussex
> Fucking.
> I and East might be close with our father compared to our sisters.
> But we don't know.
> All we know is that he came from somewhere which would be old Saxony.
> Y'know, because he was a barbarian mercenary.
> And he was Saxon.

East Sussex
> I am literally the same person as West.
> All information she has is the same as mine.
> I genuinely don't know much.

Essex
> Now that you think about it;
> I'm sure Mercia actually knows a lot about our lineage.

England
> Well he's dead, isn't he?
> Fucking hell.
> I'd rather not deal with Mercia for fuck's sake.

United Kingdom
> Who do you hate more, then?
> Mercia or Kent?

Northumberland
> oh wow, i feel called out.

Country Durham
> Look, i'm sure all of us hate each other with at least just a smidgen of hate.
> But wow.
> I wonder how england would answer.

Kent
> why are you bringing me into this shit

Norfolk
> Oh, I don't know, maybe because England has this some sort of weird hatred over you.
> Because you're our bastard younger brother.
> Maybe.

Kent
> it's not even a maybe at this point
> man
> it's a 100% certainty

Suffolk
> England's taking a long while to think about the answer.
> How funny.
> I'm interested on how she'll answer this.

England
> Mercia.
> I just don't like him more than Kent.
> So that's a win for you, I guess.

Suffolk
> Oh wow, it's not like all of us expected that or anything.
> But wow, that's very much unexpected.

Kent
> stop your sarcasm
> but yeah, i'll take that as my win

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Sorry not sorry for interrupting this lovely familial relationship; but an emergency meeting New York would take place in twelve more hours.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> a what
> but i was just about to take a nap

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> Well, I don't make the rules.
> Twelve hours so you can make the flight there.
> You're a country, Germany.
> You are Germany, right?

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
> Yes, she is.
> Could have sworn this was spoken about not even five hours ago.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no, i'm teutonia
> yes, of course i'm germany, eu

Россия
> Radical suggestion, but change your name to Teutonia to pay respects to your grandmother.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what
> no
> that's gonna be a long process
> i don't like that

Россия
> There's a reason why it's called a radical suggestion, Bund.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why are you calling me that
> that looks weird

Россия
> Yeah, and I don't care 😌

Россия was changed to the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Not wrong lmao.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> What is that supposed to mean???
> I get the first and third part but
> What's with the second?-

United States
> What is the first part even supposed to mean.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I don't know, figure it out.
> You are smart, right?

United States
> Of course, I am.
> Fine, I'll figure it out sooner or later.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Doing that would mean you're admitting that I am a smart person.

United States
> That's because you are.
> There's no denying that.
> Denying that would mean that I am saying that I am an idiot.
> And I am not.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah.
> Don't be like your own people who doesn't even know geography and their own country's history.

United States
> I hate them sometimes.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Hey, would you look at that, so do I with my own :)))
> I'm sure this happens to everyone, though.
> Don't you ever get embarrassed by your own people's idiocy to the point where you wished they never existed?

United States
> Yes.
> But that can't happen.
> That'll be disastrous.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Exactly.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Are you both bonding or something?

United States
> No.

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Good.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> No we aren't lmao.
> That's weird.
> If we are, that'll surely be made as a RusAme fanfiction plot in the fandom.

Italia
> shit
> no don't bring that shit up

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I won't elaborate, lmao.
> Dw.

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> As an extra, UN has informed me that all of your highest administrative divisions must be present in an online format.
> i.e. Zoom, Google Meet, Microsoft Teams, or Skype.
> Your choice.

Niedersachsen
> The fick.
> What's going on to make situations that serious for highest ADs to join?

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
> UN hasn't quite told any other organisations what just yet.
> But the Veto Powers might know.
> @United States, @the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets, @United Kingdom @i committed regicide and patricide at the same time

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> If it makes you feel better, I don't.
> Russie probably does, though.

United Kingdom
> I don't, either.
> So, don't ask me.
> It's probably just the current Big Three of the Veto Powers.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh trust me, it is serious.
> Right, Emmett?

Italia
> HEY
> THAT'S MY NICKNAME FOR USA >:(

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Well, what am I supposed to call him?
> Eric?
> Amerigo?
> AME???
> RICA?????

United States
> I'd prefer you call me Eric compared to any of those other three, thank you very much.
> Or Ace, considering you're getting closer with Alaska.
> Oddly.
> Weirdly.
> Suspiciously.
> But yes, it is a severe issue.
> We prefer if every country and their highest ADs were to attend in this meeting.

Cymru/Wales
> Well, that's just annoying.
> I suppose it's better than Russia who has more than 70 of those to take care of.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah, lmao it's a nightmare.
> But genuinely attend.
> It's got something to do with our relationship with humans.

Sachsen
> definitely not ominous.
> @Niedersachsen i'm still the real Saxony, by the way.

Niedersachsen
> NO.
> FICK DICH.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you both still agree that sachsen-anhalt isn't the real saxony, right

Sachsen
> totally.
> that's just impossible.

Niedersachsen
> Absolutely.
> The Saxony part of Sachsen-Anhalt was human before.
> And the Anhalt part does not have any sort of correlation with the Saxon Duchy.
> I think.
> Wait.
> No, he has.
> Not related, though.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> how about we ask the duchy of saxony face to face

Sachsen
> that's just impossible.
> she's dead.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I mean
> It's technically possible.

Sachsen
> what.

Niedersachsen
> What.

Chapter Text

Tapping her fingers at the aeroplane's windowsill, Germany peered down at the American soils present below her, as the captain's voice on the speaker told the passengers that they were now closing in to JFK Airport. Her ears felt clogged, though a simple yawned seemed to have been the solution of the problem, as the Country Personification's eyes tried it's best to not droop and sleep when she's under an hour from landing. Nearly 9 hours of flight isn't something she preferred, and her back still hurts, despite getting on a first class seat on the plane.

It was annoying, really, an emergency meeting I mean. The maximum time given to get from your country to the Personification-branch of the UN Headquarters in New York was only twelve hours, and she was glad she wasn't on the other side of the globe compared to countries like Indonesia or any other neighbouring countries, because they needed to go with something like a private jet to get from there to the other there.

And considering that the highest administrative divisions of each country had to attend in this meeting—which was a rare feat to happen—rather than just the Country Personifications transferring what they caught from the meeting to them in another state meeting, it was something Germany presumed as a serious matter, especially with United States and Russia's concerning words from the group chat before. She had also noticed the fact that UN had also informed the other Country Personifications of this meeting from Work Necessities of Personifications (or just fick dich, digga (#2) but with organisations, in Germany's eyes), so EU wasn't at all joking about the meeting.

And considering that the highest administrative divisions of each country will be present, she expected a lot of other intergovernmental organisations to be there as well, rather than just UN, ACD, AU, CoE and/or EU, OAS, and PIF. Maybe the CIS would attend, the Commonwealth as well. ASEAN too would most likely attend, with military alliances as well, such as NATO and CSTO.

This was clearly a serious matter.

She also has a reputation to keep, rather not be late but not too early. She isn't the UK, France, Russia, and China who always comes early, or even United States who always came on the designated time on the schedule, but a good five to ten minutes before it starts would be something preferable for her to come in. That short amount of time left would also give her enough time set up the Zoom meeting for her states to attend. Never matter the fact that she's always late in a state meeting, she would never be late in a world meeting.

The jet lag was getting to her, though, considering that it was somewhere around 15:00 in the USA, even if she was supposed to be asleep in this moment, as it was somewhere around 22:00 in the lands she represented/personified. And she's been quite sleep-deprived lately, due to the paperwork catching up to her nerves. Stupid UN and his 'necessary' papers. Stupid UN and his 'special treatment' for countries with federal government. Stupid UN and his extra paperwork.

She hates the UN for the amount of paperwork given, but at least he's trying to do something about a situation in where a federal state couldn't/wouldn't do their paperwork and would immediately be given to their country. Which was exactly what was happening to Germany at the moment. Whatever, at least she doesn't have to deal with any paperwork in the meeting, because emergency meetings normally wouldn't involve any extra paperwork for her to work on.

Looking through the window once more, the airport's long runway in sight, as she glanced to the nearly-empty first class part of Lufthansa, only occupied by another person, who seems to be a completely normal human, rather than a Personification of sorts. Well, it doesn't matter, Germany took a quick peek at her wristwatch to see that it was about 3/4s of an hour before the meeting starts. That would be enough time, she hoped, as she felt the aeroplane slowing it's descent as its wheels lands on the pavement below.

It didn't take a long time for it to stop at it's destination, as Germany stood up with her backpack, and walked to the airport proper to take a cab to where the meeting would be held. Oddly, the Personifications' chosen meeting space would be on the highest floor of some mall in Midtown Manhattan, near the actual UN Headquarters itself. But hey, that's alright with her, if that means she doesn't need to go a long way from the meeting space to the actual UN HQ, she'll take it. Though she honestly prefers if the meetings were to take place in Geneva or Vienna, those two are more much closer to where she lives after all.

Getting into a pretty stereotypical yellow cab and mentioning her destination, the car moved it's way to where it was told to, and Germany found herself leaning on the black leather-covered seat, as she took her phone out of her pocket and opened the texting app that the Personifications used to text amongst each other.

fick dich, digga (#2)

Deutschland
> @United States and @Россия tell us what the meeting will be about

United States
> No.
> Let UN explain it later on.

Россия
> What he says.
> Not really in the mood to explain, sorry Ossi 😌

Deutschland
> whatever
> is it about that trending twitter post or what

Italia
> what's trending on twitter
> also you're not making any sense
> why would a trending twitter post of all things be something to talk about in an emergency meeting

Australia
> that post literally just went out a few hours ago
> it's a bit weird if un decides to call out a meeting hours before it was posted
> wait
> unless
> un and SOME OTHERS already knew of the existence of this pic before it was posted

Россия
> Bro.
> We actually do.
> Which is why we wanted to originally do this in six hours, and not twelve.
> But we need to remember that not every country can just be on US American lands in just six hours.

Italia
> i'm lost
> what even is trending on twitter right now

United States
> It's not just on Twitter, now.
> It spread to other platforms.
> Like Instagram and Facebook.
> YouTube videos have been made about it as well.

Canada
> Someone just tell me what's been happening there.
> I'm quite sure the majority of us are lost in context.

United States
> Let UN cover it.
> Just get in there first.
> We only have twenty more minutes before it happens.

Brasil
> You're being ominous.
> Before what happens?

Argentina
> The meeting?
> Or is it something even more ominous?

United States
> The meeting, of course.
> Have you all even landed on any airports yet?

France
> Most of us has, United States.
> You won't even be there until 16:00 anyways.

Germany turned her phone off with the realisation that she had already arrived. Paying the driver the exact amount of money needed, she exited the vehicle with a serious expression (as she mostly does), walking towards the mall with slight hurry as she passed through security easily. Finding herself the nearest lift, she went in and pressed the highest floor, knowing very well that she would need to take another lift to get to the actual highest floor to the meeting space. One with a keycard needed, for extra security.

Hearing the familiar 'ding' of the lift, she exited it as she trotted to a certain lift unknown to many of the humans that dwell in this mall at the current moment of time, as she pressed the up button, watching as the number present on top of the lift shown as '20' going down gradually, indirectly telling her that it had just been used by another Personification (maybe).

It took a while, but the lift's door finally opened, revealing a dark red colour mixed with gold as it's insides as an intricate design, with mirrors present on it's sides. Stepping in, she quickly tapped the keycard on the lift, pressing the 20th floor button as it lit up in red, signifying that the keycard works, with the door closing behind her. Turning to the other side, she massaged her lower jaw, as she patiently waited for the lift to finally reach its supposed floor.

Until it finally did.

The door slid sideways, presenting her an elaborately designed wall of red and gold straight ahead, with a wooden push-pull doors with metal handles as tall as about slightly above 2 metres (6' 5"), maybe even 2 and a half (8' 2"). With her hands both on the door handle, she pushed through the door, as she saw many seats already filled with their respective Country Personifications, shaped in a near-circle, all facing to the centre of the room, which held a holographic picture of the Earth.

The chairs were separated into five areas corresponding to each continent which had countries. Such as the European wing, which was face-to-face with the door way, the Asian wing which was on the European wing's left from their perspective, the American wing on their right, the Oceanic wing on the doorway's left, and lastly, the African wing on Germany's right at the moment. It could clearly be a circle, but the doorway separated one end to another, hence why the 'circle' was divided into five in that certain way. Not only that, a maximum of fifteen seats would be present for every layer for the risen seats. Five layers of flooring was present, as the highest was occupied by the members of the G20 of each respective continent and it's intergovernmental organisations, with the layer below them to the lowest for every other country using alphabetical order, from left to right in the viewing from the centre.

Which meant that Germany over here would have to go towards the European wing's highest layer, as she herself was a member of the G20.

Taking up one of the staircases which separates each wing from another, she walked herself to her seat, which was pitted between France and Italy. Russia and United Kingdom in that order would be beside Italy, which was something she was grateful of, she didn't have to deal with Russia beside her 24/7, and the only one she would deal with was France. Which wasn't really a great trade-off, especially when Italy was beside her, but whatever. Anything so that Russia wouldn't be by her side every time.

When the seating position was first established, Germany had first thought that the Russia would be placed in the Asian wing when the G20 arrangement was first used, due to most of her land being on that continent, but apparently UN wanted it so that it was arranged by where their capital is located in, henceforth why Turkiye can be found sitting on the Asian wing instead.

On the topic of the Asian wing, it was the one which had the most G20 members present, as the American wing had the same amount of countries which the European wing had, while both the African and the Oceanic wing only had one country as a member of the G20, with them being South Africa and Australia.

She had also noted that all the seats for the major regional and military organisations were filled, only leaving the countries' seats left, as UN was also already present in the centre of the room, near the holographic image she had seen before. Promptly deciding that setting up the Zoom meeting was much more better than just dilly-dallying around thinking about nonsense, she pulled her laptop out of her bag and placed it on the table which wrapped around the walls behind the layer below her's seats.

Connecting her other camera with the laptop, she was able to see that most of her states had already joined the Zoom meeting, which was something good. Making it so that her camera view was now directed at UN instead of herself while her laptop still faced at her direction, she leaned to the back of her seat, silently waiting for the digital clock held on the wall above the door to strike 16:00, so that the United States would finally come and so that UN could start immediately, considering the nature of this meeting.

Plugging in one of her ear-pods and connecting it to Bluetooth for the laptop, she listened in to the commotion made by her states in the Zoom meeting. While she did that, she took a glance at all the seats in the room, taking notice that only United States' seat was empty, as she looked at every other organisation present in this meeting. As she expected, ACD, AU, CoE, EU, OAS, and PIF were here, which was something usual.

All the other organisations? Well, as she had expected, NATO and CSTO were there, ASEAN, CIS, and the Commonwealth as well. Both UNASUR and PROSUR from South America were present in the American wing, alongside CARICOM, CELAC, Pacific Alliance, and SICA. OTS and SCO were in the Asian wing alongside SAARC and GCC. EAC, ECCAS, and ECOWAS were also in the meeting space on the African wing, and OEI in the European wing, with all of the organisations minding their own business as they wait for the clock to his the expected start of the meeting.

Germany also saw Interpol as she walked in, standing beside UN, which was peculiar, to say the least. But it was fair, considering that if it indeed was about that trending Twitter post, it was necessary to have her here.

Her eyes wandered at a certain smaller side on the edges near the door for the observers like Palestine and Vatican City, and the unrecognised states which aren't part of the UN, listing out Abkhazia, Artsakh, Kosovo, Northern Cyprus, Somaliland, South Ossetia, Taiwan, Transnistria, and Western Sahara sitting on each of their given chairs. So, maybe there were like, seven sections in the layered seats, but it's not like Germany particularly cared about that fact.

And finally, the clock hit 16:00, with United States barging in through the doors at the same time.

"With everyone being here in the designated time for this emergency meeting, allow me to get straight to the point." UN started, which made several—if not most—countries look taken aback by the sudden words of the organisation who would normally lengthen the opening in every meeting, which included Germany herself. "I have informed all of the Veto Powers of this, and I, alongside the United States of America and the Russian Federation, have come to an agreement that this situation that we have in hand should be discussed with in an emergency world meeting."

Another rare occurrence happened, as the conference room was engulfed in a thick sort of silence which makes you feel like you're about to choke. The countries and organisations were anticipating UN's next words, as they all clearly wanted to know whatever the reason was so that UN and the Veto Powers had summoned them here.

"A reminder before this, we do not wish for you to point fingers at each other and blame one another with baseless accusations or anything of the sorts." the organisation spoke, as he gestured to Interpol beside him to play a hologram on what they would be covering at this moment. "Several pictures were found first by our intelligence earlier this day, yet we did not manage to interfere in it's publication. Which resulted in... less than desirable conclusions."

A picture which showed United States in his usual formal wear was shown in front of the white house as he pointed at some things out of frame. The picture changed to of Russia in her military wear, as she seemed to be writing some things down. The next one shown was about China with in a casual wear, who sat in a café as she read something on her tablet, with a drink in her hand. The final image was of France in something fancy, and UK in his 'homeless' look together in one frame, as the two of them seemed to have been discussing about something.

Some petty gossip about other countries, in Germany's mind.

Then it changed to India, quickly to South Korea and Japan, then to Italy and Turkiye, Brazil was also shown in an instant, followed by Indonesia and Australia together, Saudi Arabia was shown right after, with herself shown in one. Germany looked very taken aback at that, but she had no time to fully process it before the picture morphed to show Canada, then to Argentina and Mexico, and finally South Africa.

And from what Germany had seen in just a short moment, she was able to tell that it wasn't a recent picture, shown by the fact that her clothes looked much brighter in shade than her usual darker tones, signifying that it was taken on a Sunday. Furrowing her brows on trying to remember which Sunday was it when she had donned a light-to-dark shade of a elbow-length-sleeved polo neck with a darker shade of that kind of belt, and those light shade trousers.

Last Sunday, perhaps? She'd have to ask her husband on that—he was the one who took care of her clothes on the end of the week nowadays, rather than Brandenburg. And the only reason why was because a certain someone had asked her to wear different shades on at least one day, and she actually agreed on that, surprisingly. So why not on Sundays? That sounded best for Germany when she decided on that day.

"These the several images we have found, and we have noticed that all the images taken all have at least one member of the G20, so we presume this was a targeted stalking photographs by someone." Interpol was the one talking now, as she glanced at UN with an apprehensive look, before continuing, "And as UN has said before, it is an unfortunate situation that all, yes, all of these images, have been published in some way or another in the internet. Most prevalently, on Twitter, which has spread on to create articles and YouTube videos talking about the possibilities on these images."

As she said those words, the holograph changed to the Twitter post which first featured only United States and Russia on it, as the post read:

etreation @(sceptrefound) · 17h

| So... anyone got answers on what this means?

Transcript of americanpatriot.png: It shows a man with mostly red skin, but his face consists mostly in the colours of the United States of America's flag, his short hair coloured red with bits of white, wearing a white dress shirt, a maroon tie, a navy waistcoat, and a navy trench coat. He wore aviators, yet his green pupils and black sclera were able to be seen from the sides, as he was seen talking with someone and pointing at something outside of the picture with his right hand, his left buried inside his navy trousers' pocket, the white house seen on the background.

Transcript of russianwinter.png: It shows a woman with mostly red skin with the face being the flag of the Russian Federation, her long hair pulled up in a ponytail coloured white with a few strands in a darker shade of white, wearing the uniform of the Russian army with the insignia of the Marshal of the Russian Federation. She was seen writing things down on the wooden table, the area surrounding her barren, as smoke could be seen rising from the background.

| 💬7.1K 🔁66.6K 🖤134K

The image was then changed to show an article, titled in full capital letters—PEOPLE WITH FLAG FACES, ANOTHER VIRAL HOAX?

Skimming through the words written in the article, Germany furrowed her brows once more as she frowned, hearing all the chaos unfold, as all the other countries and organisations start to give every other a piece of their own mind. Mostly about how this all could have happened in the first place, and who this "etreation/sceptrefound" was who first posted it on Twitter. And it was getting out of hand, quickly.

"Countries!" UN yelled, his voice amplified, yet not making any sort of dent for all the commotion to stop. "Please, settle down! Our computers are trying—and are succeeding—on erasing any traces of our existence at this moment. We believe that the Twitter and Instagram posts, and the articles published would be taken down, alongside the YouTube videos circling about us. We just need to give it some time, we will succeed on continuing to hide our existence from those humans, do not fret."

"Well, what if—for some unprecedented reason—it didn't." Germany finally spoke, gaining the attention of UN and all of the other organisations, as she managed to make the crown lower their voices to hear her words. "What's our plan next? Are you sure we can just simply rely on technology to solve it for us? Have you even figured out who has done this yet? If you have, it would be easier for us to figure out their motive, while also sapping out all the information from them on what they already know about us." she paused, eyes narrowing at UN's direction. "Look, even if you don't have the answer for the third one, but at least admit to us that you have some sort of solution once– if, if it fails."

The countries seemed to have gone silent at her question, awaiting UN for his answer. UN, on the other hand, glanced at Interpol, then at United States, and finally at Russia, seemingly unsure of what to answer, before he finally says, "I– We don't– Truthfully, we aren't quite sure. But whatever happens, we would finish this matter quickly. Humans don't need to know we exist, you know how they are."

"You don't?" China piped up, as she leaned forwards at UN's direction, as her hands were crossed. "My, anyone here has any sort of idea on how to sort this out? Considering that our dear United Nations has none?"

Every Personification in the room erupted in commotion once more, all while Germany couldn't help but to subconsciously slowly stare at Switzerland's direction, taking note in every quirk his expression does, starting from the near-unnoticeable twitch of his eyes, to the very slight apprehension present in his neutral expression. That man. For goodness sake. Germany thought, as her narrowed eyes changed it's direction fully at her uncle. Must be Psyche, of all things. Fuck this shit, I don't want to deal with them.

Switzerland noticed Germany staring at him, as he looked upwards to where Germany was, and stared at her blankly. Yet, Germany was still able to recognise the cautious look from those gold pupils. Not only that, she could also hear her states' loud voices screaming at the camera alongside the others, the panic clear in their voices.

Oh, God. Whatever was she going to do about this?

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Can someone tell me when the reunion would happen??? :>
> @i am greed, i evade conscription

i am greed, i evade conscription
> I'm surprised this is what you're talking about not even three hours after the meeting ended.

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Just tell me man :(
> I want to see the great brawl happen >:D
> Don't mind the fact that humans may or may not might have discovered us.
> I have my priorities :P

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Hopefully in under a week.
> Five or six more days, maybe?
> I'll figure it out more once I return to my lands.
> I can't think straight on a plane.

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Oh yeah, most of you here are on planes most likely.
> Also, when's Order of Malta gonna be added here?

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Oh God, I forgot about that.
> I can't do that, though.
> A certain someone revoked my admin capabilities in this group.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i don't know, maybe don't be an annoying relative
> just give me his number
> you have it right

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Yeah, I asked Vatican City for his contact a few hours ago.
> I'll send it to you.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fine
> also are we seriously going to fight it to the death
> because if we are
> i'm bringing my horse and complete hussar outfit

i am greed, i evade conscription
> No, don't do that.
> But yes, I suppose we'll fight later on.
> Just, not to the death.

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> That's just no fun :(
> Right, @Canada? :D

Canada
> I have to be honest...
> I am actually looking forward to that.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Ordine di Malta

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> see
> something's wrong with everyone's perspective of him
> you're a fucking sociopath

Ordine di Malta
> That is the first thing I see when I open my phone?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'm not sorry
> most people here are probably asleep already
> unless you're in the new world or whatever but
> your names are boring
> and i'm not lazy atm

United States
> It is nearly 20:00 here.
> I don't think it's best for everyone else to wake up and find their names all switched.
> That is simple decency.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's smart coming from you
> as if you have any sort of decency at all
> i can say the same to everyone here

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> You awake, sis @Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat?

Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat
> Yes.
> What is it?

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Idk, just checking in.
> Also, I somehow doubt nearly every country is asleep at the moment...
> The ADs from Europe probably are, but not the countries Ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

↳ i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
    your names are boring
England
> I'd prefer if you did not, thank you very much.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh i don't know
> i like making up names for you all

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> You are not wrong, lmao.
> Maybe incorporate things from the fandom?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no.

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> What's this fandom y'all talk about a lot?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Something about us.
> But very bastardised.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> whatever
> just no

Commonwealth of Nations was changed to i pledge that i am not british empire 2.0 by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

United Kingdom was changed to i actually have a job and actually not homeless by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

West Sussex was changed to the suspicious sax by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

East Sussex was changed to the real suspicious sax by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Essex was changed to three seaxes hanging on a red banner by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

England was changed to y ddraig goch's ex by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

y ddraig goch's ex
> You have something against me.

i made a promise with austrian empire and i regret it
> no i don't
> that's literally what happened

Sachsen
> so you're changing the names of the saxons first?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> which includes you and heidemarie
> hold on

Niedersachsen
> SEE!!!
> I'M SAXON TOO HAHA

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> not really
> you just have some sort of non-relative relation with sieglinde's mom
> but steffen is saxon by blood
> so is brandenburg and tschechien
> even if the three of them aren't actually considered saxon

Niedersachsen
> Why.
> Also, he barely talks.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i know

Thüringen was changed to i can't believe i used to be obsessed with you by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Sachsen
> okay, that's just personal.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> it is

i can't believe i used to be obsessed with you
> Well, neither can I.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> everyone agrees it's weird now
> whatever
> it's happened already
> also we don't think about the whole humans knowing about us crisis

Hessen
> You're just so questionable at times.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you're funny

Hessen
> That's just rude.
> I don't appreciate your sarcasm.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> uh huh yeah whatever i don't care

Niedersachsen was changed to damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> That's... a long name.
> Why do I even have the longer names in here?

i actually have a job and actually not homeless
> We should actually just divorce already.

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> Mmm...
> That's a long process.
> More later than sooner, but we'll do it someday.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah just figure it out already

Hessen
> And... I still don't know why I'm here.
> I don't recall being related to any one of you???

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> You're in the family through marriage.
> Someone related to you married into Ossi's family.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i can actually guess who

Hessen
> Wait, what?
> Who?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Well, figure it out by yourself, it's pretty obvious if you see one of the German states' names.

Sachsen
> wh

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> anyways
> back to renaming or something

Sachsen was changed to my oldest's current name was my husband's name by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> there
> hopefully, at least

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> FUCKING.
> I mean.
> Not wrong.

Brandenburg
> Wait wouldn't that mean that Steffen is Sebastian's kid?

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> ... Yeah, obviously.
> It's very obvious, I'm surprised you didn't caught on earlier.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> also i'm pretty sure steffen already knew since a whole while

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> HE WAHT.

i can't believe i used to be obsessed with you
> I actually do.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME???

Hessen
> I'm genuinely still confused.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> shut up for a moment.

Hessen
> ???

Česko was changed to surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic
> ... Which would mean that your son was 1/16th Slavic.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> who
> dreichen

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> why are you even still calling him that.
> just „ns-staat“ should be good.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i will if you stop calling me zweichen

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> why and what is wrong with you?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i can say the same to you

surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic
> Yes.
> Which means that he's technically a hypocrite with his Nazi beliefs.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> and i wasn't even there during wwii
> i genuinely doubt he was 100% government-sided though
> at least in the minimum 90%
> max 99%
> rest of it is his people

surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic
> I doubt that, really.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> and i doubt that dreichen is even dead

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> WHY WOULD YOU.
> can we just stop talking about him.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fine
> anyways where was i

Brandenburg was changed to dreichen did something to me and i don't even remember by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> THAT IS JUST FOUL.
> CHANGE IT INTO SOMETHING ELSE.

dreichen did something to me and i don't even remember
> That's... not wrong.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> either you tell me what he did or i'm not gonna do it

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> AUGH.
> i can't reason with you now, can i?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes

i am greed, i evade conscription
> I'm not inviting you to the reunion, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what's with the change
> why

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Oh, I don't know...
> Unless you complete the name changes by tomorrow, I'm not inviting you.
> I know you're getting lazy on it.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> wha
> fine.

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
> Uh oh.

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> motherfucker
> i ran out of ideas

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Just think of a solution or smth, Idk.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> not helpful
> who the hell is in here anyways
> there are a lot of members

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Check the member list???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh
> i forgot that's a thing

Admin(s) [1]:
- i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Member(s) [51]:
- Alax̂sxax̂/Alaska
- Alba/Scotland
- Беларусь
- Canada
- Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe
- County Durham
- Cymru/Wales
- damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
- Danmark
- dreichen did something to me and i don't even remember
- Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat
- Hessen
- i actually have a job and actually not homeless
- i am greed, i evade conscription
- i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
- i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
- i blinded myself and my brother
- i can't believe i used to be obsessed with you
- i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
- i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother
- i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
- i pledge that i am not british empire 2.0
- i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
- Ísland
- Italia
- Kent
- Liechtenstein
- Lietuva
- my oldest's current name was my husband's name
- Norfolk
- Norge/Noreg
- Northumberland
- Nouvelle-Aquitaine
- Ordine di Malta
- Organisation du Traité de l'Atlantique Nord/North Atlantic Treaty Organization
- Polska
- Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur
- Сибирь
- Suffolk
- Suomi
- surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic
- Sverige
- Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador
- the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
- the real suspicious sax
- the suspicious sax
- three seaxes hanging on a red banner
- Україна
- Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union
- United States
- y ddraig goch's ex

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh
> so i need to do like 31 more names
> i mean that's fine
> i still have about 24 hrs

i am greed, i evade conscription
> I did not give you a full 24 hours.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i don't care
> i'll finish the nicknames in under 24 hrs

i am greed, i evade conscription
> That's a fucking promise.
> You keep your word, Germany.
> I'll check in in nearly 24 hours to see if you've done it all.
> Or I'm not inviting you.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why would i
> i keep my word
> i would never break any promise i make

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Whatever you say.
> I, on the other hand, am going to sleep.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> sure
> i don't care
> do what you want
> alright he's offline
> how many of you lot are still awake
> that i haven't changed
> your names i mean
> why are none of you answering
> fine

Hessen was changed to i became the father-figure of my nephew by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> What...
> So you're saying I have a nephew?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> more like
> yeah i guess so
> if my deduction is right
> you have two
> they're twins

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> So you're saying my brother had two sons.
> AND I DIDN'T KNOW?
> I want to talk to the both of them this instant.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> one of them's dead though

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> Oh.
> Wait, who's my currently living nephew anyways?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh i don't know...
> just think about it for a moment

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> Well, I can't think in the middle of the night.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> are you being serous right now.

dreichen did something to me and i don't even remember
> Oh, so he's actually your husband?

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> ???
> Also, which nephew did I become the father-figure to?

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> i literally entered into a personal union with him.
> how many countries did i enter a personal union with.
> it's very obvious.
> yes he was.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> the younger one
> the dead one

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> Alright, and it's not one-sided, right?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> it didn't look one-sided
> you cared for him more than saxony ngl

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> what.
> WHAT.
> WAIT.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
> WHY ARE YOU MY BROTHER-IN-LAW EVEN.
> not like i ever wanted to marry your brother anyways.
> but you're very much an idiot.

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> HOW DID I.
> WHY DID I.
> WHEN DID IT.
> WHERE.
> WHAT.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> just add a who and you get the complete set of 5w1h

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> I mean... I guess Saxony's name makes sense now.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> yeah dummkopf.
> your brother thuringia was my husband.
> before he died or smth.
> idek how he died.
> and now my oldest's name is thuringia.

i became the father-figure of my nephew
> We're talking about this in the morning.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah
> just go to sleep
> you need it
> then you can spiral in daybreak
> alright i think that's all for my states
> @the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> who next

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh wow, you're asking for my opinion.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> hurry before i change my mind

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah, fine.
> Finish all the non-countries first.
> Have their names changed last.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> alright fine
> just let me decide who to change first
> y'know what
> let me just do the ones closest related to the most untrustworthy trustworthy person first

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I mean... thank you???

Alax̂sxax̂/Alaska was changed to how about you take care of this kid first by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Was that directed to me?

how about you take care of this kid first
> What...
> I'd rather not find out how she'll do it if that happens.
> So maybe no, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes that's directed to you blind fuck
> and before you be a smartass and correct me
> i know you're only left-blind now
> and that you used to be completely blind
> but i don't care

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh my, you knew?
> I'm surprised, Ossi.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> can you just
> not call me that
> yeah no you won't
> whatever
> fine
> do what you want
> i don't like you

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah, I love you too :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i hate you

how about you take care of this kid first
> What am I even reading?
> I know you have some weird... thing for her, ma'am.
> But what???

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Wh
> How many times.
> Don't call me that again.
> You're not mine anymore.

United States
> Yes, don't call her that, Alaska.
> And what's with the implication that you're the Empire?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> WELL WHAT IF I TOLD YOU
> THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT ME
> THAT ISN'T LIKE ANYONE ELSE
> Except you and Germany, but we don't talk about that.

United States
> If this is possibly about the second point, then I refuse to believe that.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Just figure it out, you're smart.
> Stop being in denial.

how about you take care of this kid first
> Fine.
> What should I call you then?
> Mother?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Uhh
> No.
> Just my name is fine.

United States
> I'm not accepting that.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah.
> Keep being in denial.
> Then you'll die to an asthma attack followed up by a heart attack, all alone in your office as no witnesses roam around.

United States
> That is weirdly specific.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> That's literally how Union died.

how about you take care of this kid first
> Wait, Ace has asthma?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I don't think he does.
> Unless something new happened.
> Maybe.

United State
> No, Alaska.
> I don't have asthma.
> Don't worry.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah continue the flirting
> anyways

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> We aren't flirting for God's sake.
> We just...
> Idk, actually.
> Yeah, continue or smth.

United States
> We are definitely not flirting, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> sure

Terre-Neuve-et-Labrador/Newfoundland and Labrador was changed to i absorbed my twin while in the womb by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> I mean, there's a reason why I'm Newfoundland and Labrador :)

Canada
> Wait, what?
> Tell me more about it, Neil.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Sure ^<^
> So you know how I used to be Vinland?
> Like, before the English and French came?

Canada
> Yeah?

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> I wasn't just Vinland, technically.
> I also represented Markland :D
> So I technically ate Markland when he was in my mother's womb.

Canada
> Well that's something of a story.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Yeah ^^
> Wait... how do you know about this, @i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> russland told me
> she was in the middle of ranting about her family and let it slip that
> „the spawn of Iceland absorbed his twin“
> or something along those lines

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Tbh, I don't recall telling her about that possibility???
> All I know, is that my father told me that my mother was supposed to have twins or something.
> But only I came out.
> How'd she come up with that conclusion?
> I mean, that's the most possible shit to come up with. :/
> But like...???

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I just knew.
> Don't ask how.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Alrighty...

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> ughhh i don't have any more ideas
> what am i supposed to name england's half-brothers
> another from their flag and/or name

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Is Essex' name supposed to be a reference to...
> Two bros chillin' in a hot tub, 5 feet apart 'cause they're not gay?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes
> but i couldn't think of a continuation for the last part
> so the first half is fine
> i guess
> mmm
> yknow what fine
> i can't think of anything else

Kent was changed to hengest and horsa had another brother named invicta by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

hengest and horsa had another brother named invicta
> i dn't evn knw why i bthrd chckng my phn aftr wkng p n th mddl f th nght byt
> cool

i made a promise to austrian emprie and i regret it
> amazing last wards
> *words
> anyways
> shit
> uh
> i can't think of anymore

hengest and horsa had another brother named invicta
> ys
> it chills my brain

County Durham was changed to cuthbert but dory colours by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

cuthbert but dory colours
> I know i'm one of the sleep-deprived insomniacs here.
> But i read that correctly, right?
> Dory, as in the one from finding nemo?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes
> you read it right
> and yes
> you got the reference right
> also do you have any idea for your brothers' names
> or something
> it's just northumberland and those two who formed east anglia

cuthbert but dory colours
> Sadly, no.
> I also can't think about anything creative in this state.
> Do northumberland first, though.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fine
> i'll do it or smth

Northumberland was changed to people think i'm deira but i'm bernicia i promise by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

people think i'm deira but i'm bernicia i promise
> what did you.
> i mean interesting name.
> but wha.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> by people i mean
> scotland
> idk why he mixed you both up

people think i'm deira but i'm bernicia i promise
> oh.
> you're referencing that annoying mishap.

Alba/Scotland
> SORRY.
> it's been about a decade but I still think about it.
> you both look similar.

cuthbert but dory colours
> >:(
> Yeah and now all of your council areas do it

Alba/Scotland
> it's... it's fun, though.

people think i'm deira but i'm bernicia i promise
> not fun, alba.
> not fun.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no genuinely i have to speedrun this
> or else i'm gonna sleep and next thing i know i'm on a date

Italia
> yeah we get it, you're the only person here who has a good marriage.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you do
> hm
> now not
> because she died

Italia
> she's human what do you expect
> the same can be said with your husband

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'm probably gonna spiral and return to smoking if he dies
> anyways

Suffolk was changed to southern crownlands of the angled arrowhead by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Norfolk was changed to i am not prophetic i just a lot of get deja vu by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> those two
> i doubt are awake
> let's just wait until it turns to six in ingerland

Alba/Scotland
> wait...
> CAM ON INGERLAND SCOR SOM FACKIN GOALS???

y ddraig goch's ex
> STOP.
> Blimey, I forgot that's my name.
> Politely, please change it into something better.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no
> i'll make wales' name the opposite of yours
> is it opposite
> i mean both of you are dragons
> and exes
> the only thing'll change is the colour for your names

y ddraig goch's ex
> Bloody hell.
> Also, no, Norfolk is totally prophetic.

Alba/Scotland
> haha.
> as if.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> sure have some sort of old married couple's quarrel over there
> i don't mind

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> ... what have I done to you?
> How much did I change you?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> A LOT.
> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
> fick
> where was i

Nouvelle-Aquitaine was changed to i drank recycled water which came out of thousands of humans by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i drank recycled water which came out of thousands of humans
> That is just awful.
> Horrendous.
> Disgusting.
> Undeniably hideous.
> Absolutely foul.

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> Yeah, yeah, whatever drama queen
> We get it
> No we don't
> But we act like we do

i drank recycled water which came out of thousands of humans
> What is wrong with every one of you.

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> Considering we're planning on maiming each other in the reunion
> Everything is wrong about us

i drank recycled water which came out of thousands of humans
> I hate everyone of you.
> But I'll tag along for the reunion.
> It'll be fun.

i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
> See?
> All of us aren't sane

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i agree
> also provence hasn't talked
> at all

Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur
> Oh yeah, hi.
> I thought I already sent something in, but I guess not.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes
> i'm changing your name

Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur
> Oh god.

Provence-Alpes-Côte d'Azur was changed to the temptation to murder italy is present in me by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

the temptation to murder italy is present in me
> Absolutely correct, Allemagne.

Italia
> woah!
> i know we had our differences
> but like
> save it for the reunion :)

the temptation to murder italy is present in me
> Fine.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> it'd only be fun if i'm there
> don't be delusional
> so, just your ex, saint catherine the merciful of russia?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> No need with the names, lmao.
> But yeah, before you get to the organisations, right?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes

Сибирь was changed to the real grandfather frost of the stories by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

the real grandfather frost of the stories
> I'm not even Christian, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> still counts
> you're burly i guess
> and long beard
> you live in veliky ustyug
> you also play as the ded moroz there
> a few times
> and you have a granddaughter who's fit to be snegurochka

the real grandfather frost of the stories
> I have a granddaughter?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah you do.
> Andrey's kid.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i thought you told him already

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> He wants nothing to do with me.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> valid
> now i have four more names to do before i go and take a few hours of nap
> the europe organ twins, nato, and the hospital

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Organ twins, very unnerving.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i know right

Italia
> are you both being sarcastic or...

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> guess
> anyways

Organisation du Traité de l'Atlantique Nord/North Atlantic Treaty Organization was changed to i swear uncle sam is lucifer, you unbelievers by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i swear uncle sam is lucifer, you unbelievers
> What is the point of all this?
> That is because he is.
> Take a look at his eyes.
> That's a demon over there.

United States
> While I must admit that I am a demon, I am not Lucifer.
> That was my former name.
> For some odd reason, my biological mother decided to name me that.

i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
> Because I said so.
> I am still not related to you.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah keep being in denial

Ordine di Malta was changed to three-place crusty hospital by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

three-place crusty hospital
> I know the reason for the last part, and an idea for the first, but what's with the second?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> rusty rhymes with crusty
> and musty
> i wouldn't do musty
> no punch there
> so crusty it is

three-place crusty hospital
> Not that much of a valid reason there.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i know
> so what am i supposed to call those to european organs

Alba/Scotland
> yojotedo?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> both of them use that
> but like
> alright thank you for the suggestion

Alba/Scotland
> my pleasure ;)

Conseil de l'Europe/Council of Europe was changed to yojotedo sr of the twelve stars by i made a deal to austrian empire and i regret it

Union Européenne/Europäische Union/European Union was changed to yojotedo jr of the twelve stars by i made a deal to austrian empire and i regret it

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> I don't... quite understand what my name means.

yojotedo sr of the twelve stars
> Read it backwards, sister.

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> ... alright, that's an interesting choice.
> But really? Just because I have the same flag and anthem as my brother, but really???

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> want me to change your names to 12 | 9 sr and 12 | 9 jr

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> I'd rather you not.
> Please.
> What do they even mean.

yojotedo sr of the twelve stars
> Yes, and I have an idea they still reference our flag and anthem.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's because they do
> i want to give more people heart attacks

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> That is just questionable, Germany.
> And maybe it'd be best to sleep, we still need to think of an actual plan B for this fiasco.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you're an organisation
> you do it

yojotedo sr of the twelve stars
> You are a member of the G20.
> A meeting would soon be held among the members and observers to create a backup plan if plan A fails.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fucking
> why do we have so many meetings

Cymru/Wales was changed to y ddraig wen's ex by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

y ddraig wen's ex
> Are you...
> I will kill you in the reunion, Germany.

y ddraig goch's ex
> Only if she gets invited, Wales.
> Don't be so enthusiastic already.

Alba/Scotland
> i feel weirdly left out.
> oh well, i guess it's time for my name change session.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's because it is.

Alba/Scotland was changed to i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
> trust me, i do.

y ddraig goch's ex
> As do I.

i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
> then let's divorce???

y ddraig goch's ex
> No.

i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
> ???

Grønland/Kalaallit Nunaat was changed to i hate the colour green it's so unsettling by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i hate the colour green it's so unsettling
> That's because it is.

y ddraig wen's ex
> It's not.

i blinded myself and my brother
> Settle this in the reunion.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> hello
> i'm taking your mouth

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has muted i blinded myself and my brother for 24 hours

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> You just need to rename the countries, and you're all set to be re-invited.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> my whole reason
> i'm just burnt out atm

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Good for you.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> halt's maul.
> your opinion doesn't matter

Italia
> i mean that's good for me

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> until now

Italia was changed to pathetic simp of a godfather by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

pathetic simp of a godfather
> WHAT
> i'm not pathetic >:(

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> so you're admitting to be a simp

pathetic simp of a godfather
> i swear if this is a reference to hetalia...
> you're a simp as well

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fair

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> Oh wow, you just gave up and didn't bother retorting?
> Such a miracle.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i hate all of you

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I mean, how many times must I say this but, I love you too <3

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fick
> why can't you just permanently die

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Haven't met the requirements.

pathetic simp of a godfather
> alright, that just doesn't make any sense

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> It would if you're not an idiotic person.
> And I'm not, because I understand.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> partially only
> so you're still a dumbass
> but still better than italy
> in your pov

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> ... yes.

pathetic simp of a godfather
> are you fucking serious
> at least i don't wear sandals with socks

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what's wrong with them
> they're comfy

pathetic simp of a godfather
> every fashion model here (including me, myself, and i) would collectively agree that it's an abomination
> even france

i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
> As much as I don't like agreeing with him, yes.
> That's true.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> arschloch
> well i don't care
> where was i

Sverige was changed to my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates
> Why.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why not

my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates
> That is just an absurd reason.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> True that.

Suomi
> I can't believe I'm seconding her, but I must agree.
> Wait, why are you the one answering?
> You're not my sister.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Anyways.
> Continue, Ossi :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> saving your own skin
> bastard

Suomi
> Weirdoes.

Canada was changed to québécois psycho by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

québécois psycho
> Very funny, Germany.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> halt's maul
> your opinion also doesn't matter
> your name would've been american psycho if i wasn't in the mood to piss you off
> but i was
> so deal with it

québécois psycho
> Whatever, you do you.
> I'll keep that in mind.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah is that another threat of my life for the reunion
> look just let me finish it first
> then that threat can actually be realised and happen

Polska was changed to istg russia smells distinctly like the empire by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

istg russia smells distinctly like the empire
> And she does.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Because I do.

istg russia smells distinctly like the empire
> Is that a confirmation?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Mf.
> Of course it is.
> You think I'll ever forget that day?
> No.

istg russia smells distinctly like the empire
> I will slaughter you and Germany both.
> Maybe even the ungrateful traitor's son while we're at it.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why am i getting dragged into this

Ísland was changed to "got a mental breakdown" empath of darkness by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

"got a mental breakdown" empath of darkness
> I'm not questioning.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> good
> i don't want to answer any questions

Norge/Noreg was changed to how can i only speak norse and represent colonial empires by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

how can i only speak norse and represent colonial empires
> It's funny.
> Until no one understands you.
> And be specific with the last part.
> Add "of my brothers".
> I'm not a colonial empire.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> won't fit
> don't think of my words suspiciously
> especially you
> albino varangian

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Bro what.
> Fine >:(
> Not for long.

Liechtenstein was changed to eyewitness of 80 + 1 by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> I am very glad that you didn't change my  name to anything preposterous.
> At least you do keep your truths in check for these names.
> Very glad I didn't wake up to a horrid name.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> look
> i don't have much against you
> and technically you're my uncle
> so you're one of the few family members i'm chill with
> you don't need to worry about me giving you anything weird
> you're a great drummer as well

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> So, will I be one of the few who doesn't get anything too bad for my name?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yes
> probably the only country as well
> so that's a plus for me schweiz
> i didn't change your favourite brother's name to anything weird

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> Highly positive he is asleep or working on whatever profession he has.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> probably
> and i only need to do six more
> then no more protests @i am greed, i evade conscription
> you will invite me

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> 100% positive he's too busy to answer anyone or even read this.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> busy doing what

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> Sleeping.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> valid
> i get busy sleeping as well

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> Everyone does.
> Also, who's left?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> six people are left
> @Беларусь, @Danmark, @Lietuva, @Suomi, @Україна, and @United States
> i'll do vs last

Suomi was changed to i still can't believe russia can shit on me for having 99% accuracy by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

i still can't believe russia can shit on me for having 99% accuracy
> ...
> Could've sworn the one who has higher accuracy than I do was Soviet.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> No comment :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> yeah sure
> if you didn't know
> russia also has 100% accuracy
> somehow
> i have a feeling it involves math

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> That's because it does.
> It's pretty easy.

United States
> You've never taken the firearm accuracy test in our range.
> Where'd you get those numbers from?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Fun to be you, but I've took the test once.
> You supervised me specifically because you "want to see me fail spectacularly".
> And then I end up scoring the highest.

United States
> I did that to the Soviet Union.
> It's impossible.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> You are very much in denial, Union.
> ... wait it feels weird calling you that.
> Whatever, that's your name anyways.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> you both seem to be having fun trekking down the memory lane
> i see vs is in heavy denial

i still can't believe russia can shit on me for having 99% accuracy
> I'm sure no one here understands.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Germany does.
> France does.
> Alaska does.
> Poland does.
> Neil probably does.
> United States is in denial, but he does.
> Ukraine's closing in.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> Is that supposed to be a confirmation to my suspicions? :0

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Practically, it is.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> HAHA, SEE?
> I'M NEVER WRONG >:D
> @United States

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh yeah, considering you told him too, it's also a confirmation for you.
> I lost count how many times I've indirectly told you.
> But can you just accept it for once?

United States
> That's impossible.
> I'm not believing that.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Alright, you do you, I guess.

Danmark was changed to if you didn't know, russia stole your axe by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

if you didn't know, russia stole your axe
> SHE WHAT
> SO ALL THIS TIME
> MY AXE WAS MISSING
> I THOUGHT SWEDEN LOST IT???

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> More like he traded it with me so that he doesn't die.

my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates
> ... You?
> I recall gifting it to the Russian Empire.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> That's because you did???

my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates
> Then why are you claiming it as yourself?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Because you all are idiots who can't comprehend my obvious points.
> Fucking hell man.
> This is like Twitter all over again.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> what even happened there again

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh, nothing :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> wha

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Just go on and continue, Ossi :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> fine
> whatever

Україна was changed to so close on finding out, yet so far by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

so close on finding out, yet so far
> On what?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Something.

so close on finding out, yet so far
> Very convincing, Russia.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I know, right?

so close on finding out, yet so far
> I'm being sarcastic.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> So am I.
> You got that from me so, understandable.

so close on finding out, yet so far
> No, I didn't.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yes, you did.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i can't believe i'm saying what austria did
> but settle this in the reunion
> not at court
> not anywhere else
> but the reunion
> maybe spill more tea in the process

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> You think I won't?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> very positive you will.

Беларусь was changed to those flowers smell like white, green, and red by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

those flowers smell like white, green, and red
> But they do
> Because I have a thing
> Uh
> Whats it called
> Russia
> Hlep

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Synaesthesia.

those flowers smell like white, green, and red
> *Help
> Yeah that
> Thanks

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> 👍
> I'm not a dad I promise.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> but you can turn into one

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> True.

United States
> I forgot you also represented the land.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> How can you even forget that, lmao

United States
> See.
> That's why it's impossible.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> The only reason why I talk and/or type this way is literally because I got a bit too paranoid.

United States
> Likely story.
> You're not her.
> She died.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah.
> Like four times.
> In that same lifetime.

United States
> Not her.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Keep being in denial, Union.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> now change into a man

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Pass.
> I look like a twink the last time I did that.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that was like
> about a century ago
> something must've changed

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Likely.
> Though I'd rather not find out.

Lietuva was changed to centrawr, the legendary f1 racer by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

centrawr, the legendary f1 racer
> That's supposed to be about my former career.
> The fact that I am technically a centaur.
> And because I say „rawr“ to my sister just for her annoyance.
> Right.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> oh so that's the reason why you keep saying that
> well yes

centrawr, the legendary f1 racer
> Well, go on and ruin United States' future with a life-changing nickname.

United States
> I dare you to come up with something that good.
> Practically impossible.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'll take that challenge

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> An update to the whole situation;

United States was changed to i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure by i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> A G20 meeting with its members and observers will be held online in 7 more hours.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> how dare you interrupt me
> and seven hours what

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> No.
> No, that's not true.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Aww
> Funny that I knew that since when that first happened.

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> That's simply impossible.
> Why would I?
> Yes, I must admit that in the revolution, she may have declared neutrality, but clearly preferred France's side, which was on mine and NATO's.
> And that she didn't agree on any alliance.
> Also the fact that she supported me in the Civil War rather than Confederacy.
> But that does not mean I viewed her as a mother-figure.
> We weren't that close to each other.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Uh huh, yeah.
> Y'know, the only reason why you thought of the Empire that way was because you were still juvenile in your way of thoughts.
> So, you obviously needed some sort of parental figure.
> Why not her?
> She's very motherly after all 😌

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i doubt that last part
> but whatever you do you
> also
> fick dich @yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> you think everyone can attend in just 7 hrs

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> UN told me to announce it???
> Blame him.
> Sucks to be a Personif, I suppose.

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> No.
> I never thought of her that way.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Ever realised that you're a very clingy person, Eric?

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> No.
> Because I'm not.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that point i can confirm is true
> you are in heavy denial
> just accept the fact that you're clingy

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> I am not.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> sure
> totally

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> Also, this whole renaming things has been going on for more than 12 hours.
> Even Indonesia would be in his own country by that time.
> The whole name-change happened about an hour or two after the flight started for him (and you).
> So that's an obvious 21 hour gap.
> Enough for him to go back.
> And I know you're in your country already.
> New York to Munich only takes 8 hours.
> You're probably in your apartment now.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> whatever
> fick dich
> fick dich to everyone in the g20
> fick dich to @everyone here
> fick dich to every personification in the world
> fick dich to every inhabitant of the earth and the earth itself
> i'm sleeping.

Furrowing her brows as she woke up, she went from laying down to sitting, as she stared blankly at the clock, signifying that she had slept from somewhere around 14:00 (where she had a whole 'fuck you' moment in WFW2KEO) to 20:15, which meant that not only she had missed dinner, she only had approximately 3/4 of an hour to get ready.

Fucking... she swore internally, as she dragged her tired legs from the bed and wore whatever appropriate clothes she found for a meeting, opening the bedroom door and walking (read: dragging her steps) towards her office in the large apartment unit she lived in. Not bothering to eat anything, she sat on the chair and grabbed her glasses, as she booted up her computer and loaded up Google Meet, which was where every G20 online meeting was normally held. More than half-an-hour has passed ever since she woke up, and she was now stuck on waiting for it to start.

Squinting at the screen, she rubbed her eyes afterwards, still feeling very tired from what she did a few hours ago. As the meeting finally was started, a few countries and organisations already entering when she finally noticed it. Though, most of those joined were only the permanent guest invitees, such as AU, ASEAN, UN, WHO, WTO, and IMF. And seemingly almost every G20 member but one was present, the (as usual) United States. All-in-all, she had only needed to wait for FSB, ILO, NEPAD, OECD, and WBG to attend aside from United States.

Her camera stayed on as she rested her chin on her fist, her eyes closed as she had her ear-pods with her, as if to wake her up if the meeting would start. A little nap wouldn't hurt, right?

Wrong.

The next thing she knew when she woke up, the clock on her computer showed numbers indicating that it was 22:48, and the Google Meet she was in was very much silent. Which only meant that... oh yeah, she definitely slept through the whole meeting. She's a bit unsure as to why no one bothered yelling at her through the screen for her to hear through those ear-pods she had, but well, she can just simply ask whatever the hell the other G20 members came up with in the meeting.

She was about to exit the meeting, before she realised that someone was actually still there, staring at her through the camera intently, a seemingly permanent smile embedded to her face.

"Russia, I swear to God, don't look at me that way." Germany spoke tiredly, as she rubbed her eyes with her fingers, making the blur of her sights fade ever-so-slowly.

Russia only tilted her heads sideways slightly, before speaking in a teasing manner, "In what certain way?"

The golden blonde simply furrowed her brows in annoyance, before continuing, "Oh come on... whatever, what did we discuss in the meeting anyways? Mind giving me a recap?"

"Nothing useful. They were all practically disagreeing with each other on what to do." the woman with ice blue eyes smiled even wider, as she went on, "And no one really cared bothering you, eight out of the twenty official members were in the family group anyways, so they had an inkling on what made you so... droopy-looking. And yes, no one thought you were sleeping. They just thought you were closing your eyes but also listening at the same time."

"Well that was a productive meeting." the cornflower blue eyed woman sarcastically remarked, noticing Russia's smile faltering slowly. "What do you have to say?"

"I still can't believe you forgot Liberia of all people to include in the group." she leaned to her chair, her ice-like blonde hair moving with her head backwards as she did that.

"I did?" Germany raised a brow, before taking a look at her phone to check on the list of members in WFW2KEO.

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

Admin(s) [1]:
- i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it

Member(s) [51]:
- "got a mental breakdown" empath of darkness
- centrawr, the legendary f1 racer
- cuthbert but dory colours
- damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
- dreichen did something to me and i don't even remember
- eyewitness of 80 + 1
- hengest and horsa had another brother named invicta
- how about you take care of this kid first
- how can i only speak norse and represent colonial empires
- i absorbed my twin while in the womb
- i actually have a job and actually not homeless
- i am greed, i evade conscription
- i am not dodo-owner's sister, i am her first-cousin once removed
- i am not prophetic i just a lot of get deja vu
- i am not till lindemann nor am i hre's favourite i promise
- i became the father-figure of my nephew
- i blinded myself and my brother
- i can't believe i used to be obsessed with you
- i committed regicide and patricide at the same time
- i drank recycled water which came out of thousands of humans
- i got blinded by my son of a bitch brother
- i hate the colour green it's so unsettling
- i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
- i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
- i pledge that i am not british empire 2.0
- i sank the flying dutchman with my dodo
- i still can't believe russia can shit on me for having 99% accuracy
- i swear uncle sam is lucifer, you unbelievers
- i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
- if you didn't know, russia stole your axe
- istg russia smells distinctly like the empire
- my bastard is more of a favourite rather than my legitimates
- my oldest's current name was my husband's name
- pathetic simp of a godfather
- people think i'm deira but i'm bernicia i promise
- québécois psycho
- so close on finding out, yet so far
- southern crownlands of the angled arrowhead
- surprise surprise i'm not 100% slavic
- the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
- the real grandfather frost of the stories
- the real suspicious sax
- the suspicious sax
- the temptation to murder italy is present in me
- those flowers smell like white, green, and red
- three seaxes hanging on a red banner
- three-place crusty hospital
- y ddraig goch's ex
- y ddraig wen's ex
- yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
- yojotedo sr of the twelve stars

Her eyes followed the list downwards, as the realisation dawned her that she had actually missed Liberia on adding to the group. He was United States' illegitimate child, if she didn't mistake it with something else?

"Yeah, he's his bastard." Russia commented, confirming Germany's thoughts.

"Are you fucking kidding me..." she trailed off, before sighing in defeat, looking at Russia once more, seeing her opening her mouth to speak once more.

"I'll give you a digital copy of the family tree if you want. And if you add Liberia and change his name, then Switzerland would invite you. Would be best to do it as quickly as you can–"

Though she was interrupted by Germany leaving the meeting and spontaneously turning her computer off, as she left the room with a groan, heading back to her and her husband's bedroom. Not quite caring with the fact that she hasn't eaten dinner yet, she'll deal with the whole 'adding Liberia' type of thing to do tomorrow morning. Hopefully, she still had some time left to finish what she had promised.

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> in this fateful day, i am saddened to inform you that i regrettably returned here on 06:00 in order to add another member who goes by the name of republic of liberia, bastard of united states of america
> do, please, warmly welcome him to this chaotic mess of what we unfortunately call
> family

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has added Liberia

Liberia
> This is just... surprising to see.
> And I don't blame you on forgetting the fact that I am related to United States.
> I do that as well, sometimes.
> Though, how am I related to all of you exactly?
> I'll read whatever goes from before I got added today soon enough.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> idk ask @the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> she has the family tree
> i think
> so yeah give me that digital copy

Liberia was changed to i am not blaming anyone for forgetting that usa is my father by i made a promise with austrian empire and i regret it

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> and @i am greed, i evade conscription i fulfilled my promise and added and renamed every family member here
> invite me.
> that is an order.

i am greed, i evade conscription
> Fine, I will.
> Simply because you actually managed to keep a promise for once.
> Ah, and Russia, I'd like to see the family tree as well.

i am not blaming anyone for forgetting that usa is my father
> My name is quite true.
> And I'm having a hard time knowing who is who in this groupchat.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's fine
> perfectly understandable
> i doubt every other personification here who rarely meddles in european affairs even know some references i put in for the names

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> The fact that the first thing you chose to do after waking up all good was to go on your phone and add Liberia is very much dedication, Ossi.
> Yeah, here's the picture.
> family fuckery.png
    Transcript: Mess. Very wide 12000x4000 pixel image. Right very messy left very clean. Not propaganda.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> why is it so big
> no don't take that out of context noctifer
> but i have a feeling you haven't finished this

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah, I haven't, lmfao.
> And Noctifer?
> That's new.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> had to make up with something correlating to lucy over there

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Understandable, have a horribly nice day.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> so not terrifying

i am greed, i evade conscription
> So the reunion would happen in just four more days.
> Henceforth, clear all your fucking schedules and get ready for a battle royale.
> Only one rule, make sure not to actually kill anyone.
> Just kill their dignity.
> Winner gets a feast.
> Well, you can continue whatever you were previously doing now.
> And no, you can't sue each other.
> Just physically injure.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> that's just not fun

i am greed, i evade conscription
> No meetings shall be allowed in that day.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> now it's fun
> you should've said that earlier on

i am greed, i evade conscription
> You think I absolutely care about that?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> i'm so gonna rip you

Chapter Text

Welcome to the Family Where We Kill Each Other

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> Well, I suppose it's a bonus that I now know how we're all related to each other.
> I am simply wondering how anyone can differentiate between the deceased and still-alive members.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I said I'm still working on it, Ame.
> Yes, I'm calling you that out of petty spite, but who cares?
> And for that, I'm turning them into italics.

pathetic simp of a godfather
> so... italian world-domination at last?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> we all dream of it at least once
> but alas
> no
> you should wear a dunce hat 24/7

pathetic simp of a godfather
> you should do that too

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> It's impossible to not dream of it once.

istg russia smells distinctly like the empire
> And are those Polandballs, Russia?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah, lol.
> I need to finish the tree before moving on to actually finish them.
> They're cute versions of us muderous humanoids.

centrawr, the legendary f1 racer
> What's a Polandball?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Also known as Countryballs.
> Just take a look at the icon for Germany in the family tree, that's a Polandball/Countryball.

yojotedo sr of the twelve stars
> Though I may not be fully aware what a "Polandball" or a "Countryball" is, I'm feeling a bit betrayed you only did 5 among everyone.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> I just can't quite help but to draw Germany and her family first, Council.
> I was tempted to draw her in her hussar uniform, but that's from the German Empire.
> And I plan on doing the current/last entity prior to death names and flags so...

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> oh so is that a confirmation that me and England are actually related?

y ddraig goch's ex
> What?
> We are?
> How so?
> The chart doesn't quite show how exactly.
> All I can see from your mother is a long line to connect with the Saxon... Soviet Republic?
> Well, at least I think that's what SR means.
> And also that random red line connnecting to Britannia.
> Wait, that's it, isn't it?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Yeah.
> Also, if you wanted to know for some reason, I got most of the information of this family tree from Piedmont-Sardinia.
> I only added some countries he missed.
> Don't ask how I know specifically that you and Saxony are related, but I just do.
> That's one of the few things Piedmont-Sardinia missed.

pathetic simp of a godfather
> wait, my brother did that?
> i mean yeah he does a lot of geneology sometimes
> i just didn't know he was doing one about our family

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> So you're saying I have a chance to actually be the real Saxony?
> How's England and the fake Saxony even related, anyways?

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> you are just so insolent.
> your words make it so that you never had a chance before.
> which is true even in the current context.

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> No.

y ddraig goch's ex
> Yes, I'd like to know as well.

three seaxes hanging on a red banner
> Oooh, yeah! Would love to know how me and my sisters are relatives to the original Saxons.
> And I'm 100% sure that none of us want to meddle in the whole...
> "Who's the real Saxony" conflict.

the real suspicious sax
> So, we finally have an answer to whether or not we're related to her?
> And how exactly?

the suspicious sax
> Seems like it, so, Russia, if you would, do tell us.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Mmm
> Your dad and Germany's grandmother are first cousins twice-removed
> So technically he was born earlier.
> But the original Saxony outlived him by a lot.

yojotedo jr of the twelve stars
> That's just an awful mess of a family tree.
> What other things did you add?

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgest
> Mostly the illegitimate ones.
> Also added Saxon SR, because it's not like he existed yet when Piedmont-Sardinia died.
> There were also the adopted ones.
> Siberia's father.
> Hohenzollern as well.
> Thuringia I and Hesse.
> Wales' grandfather.
> And every other new family members that existed after he died.
> So like.
> A lot.
> I also changed the names to fit the current time so...

y ddraig wen's ex
> Well, there's your confirmation on how I'm related to one of Britannia's provinces, @y ddraig goch's ex.
> Ew, that nickname is so horrid, as with mine.
> Can you not change it to something else, @i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it?

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no
> that's final
> both of you are dragons right
> so like
> hip-hip hooray

y ddraig goch's ex
> I despise the fact that I am a dragon.
> Following Wales' nonsense mythologies or whatnot.

y ddraig wen's ex
> Are you fucking serious?
> They're not nonsense.
> You're saying you don't like the Arthurian legends?

y ddraig goch's ex
> Not your version.

y ddraig wen's ex
> That's the original version.
> I can't believe you liked the tampered ones more.

y ddraig goch's ex
> Only because I dislike you.

y ddraig wen's ex
> Fuck you.
> Very glad we annulled our marriage.

i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
> yeah and i'm waiting for it to happen some time soon for me.
> look, even a divorce is fine.
> can't we just.
> do it.
> now.

y ddraig goch's ex
> NO.

i want a divorce with the white dragon in denial
> yeah i hate you too teabag.
> also, who added my adopted siblings and my half-brother?
> barely anyone outside of the isles know of them.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Oh, I did, lmao.

i actually have a job and actually not homeless
> I don't want to think about whether or not I may be related to my wife.

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> That's because we aren't???
> You're related to Saxony.
> I only have some sort of mentorship with her mother.
> We're not related.

i actually have a job and actually not homeless
> That's just it.
> That's a relation.

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> ... sure, all up to you, I guess.
> Still the real Saxony, though.

my oldest's current name was my husband's name
> oh for fuck's sake.
> halt's maul.
> for just an hour.
> and i'll be grateful.

damn i'm still married even though our personal union's off
> Haha, no.

eyewitness of 80 + 1
> Oh, you actually made sure to put in the two people who I was before I merged.
> Well done, Russia.
> People often forget the fact that I'm a merger of two states.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Well, an absolutely deserved credit.
> Just take a look at the last three words of my name for God's sake, lol.

i absorbed my twin while in the womb
> One question, why is the right side so messed up and the left so well-spaced out and organised?

i hate the colour green it's so unsettling
> Very unorganised indeed, it doesn't look well.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Funny story, I originally only planned to make the family tree of everyone blood-related to Germany.
> But then I added the adopted ones.
> I sometimes wonder why I did that.
> Oh well, now you have the complete tree, I guess.

i hate the colour green it's so unsettling
> What's with your side, though.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Nothing's wrong with it :)

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> totally
> yeah
> sure

pathetic simp of a godfather
> no, no, explain.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no reason to
> shut up
> your opinion means nothing to me

pathetic simp of a godfather
> rude.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it has muted pathetic simp of a godfather for 6 hours

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> better
> now for @the real grandfather frost of the stories
> let's talk about your mafia things first

the real grandfather frost of the stories
> How about no?
> Go for how Alaska became one of the female Chess Grandmasters for the USA.
> Or maybe the many games @the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets has competed against Kasparov.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> How do you even know that.

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> All of you need to explain.
> Germany, do change my name.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> no

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Absolutely no, Ace.
> Also, physics is way better than biology, nerd.

i once thought of russian empire as a mother-figure
> How dare you.

the nigh-immortal archangel who never forgets
> Sucks to be you, but I dare.

i made a promise to austrian empire and i regret it
> both of you are nerds stfu