Chapter Text
Jennifer swiped away the tear from the corner of her eye as they reached his office, still arm in arm; her heart fluttered. She couldn’t believe that she was being given a second chance after, wrongly, turning him down the last time. Her mind briefly wandered to Mike, who she was sure she seen in the audience with his ex-wife, looking very cozy. A part of her was relieved; it meant that the both of them had been thinking of other people throughout that relationship and therefore, the guilt didn’t just fall at her own feet.
She hadn’t even noticed that Benjamin had let go of her, leaving her stood in the doorway of his office whilst he grabbed his satchel. “That’s everything for me, what about you?”
“What?” she breathed, her attention returning to the room.
Benjamin chuckled, taking hold of her hands; he squeezed them tightly. “Jennifer,” he started, his voice soft, sending a shiver down her spine, “are you sure you want to do this? It’s quite a big jump. I mean, starting a relationship is one thing but going on vacation straight away, that’s…pressure.”
“Benjamin…Benny,” the grin spread across her face as he rolled his eyes at the nickname, “there’s no one else I would rather go on vacation with, truly.”
“You went on a cruise with Mike.”
He had a point there but, “Mike was different.” Jennifer looked down at her feet briefly before looking back up at him, their eyes catching. “What I felt for him never came close to how I feel about you.”
She dropped his hands, scrubbing her hands over her face as she let out a sigh. “I’m sorry.” She panicked as his face dropped and she quickly pressed her hands into his chest. “No, I didn’t mean…I’m just…sorry that I didn’t realise sooner.”
“Realise what?”
“How I felt about you,” she paused, her chest rising and falling heavily. “You were supposed to be in California, living your dreams and I was supposed to forget about you. But then you came back and I realised that I’d missed you more than I thought I had.”
Her breath hitched as his hands cupped her cheeks.
“I guess, I’m sorry for wasting so much time instead of just being honest with myself.” She could feel the tears welling in her eyes again.
“Jennifer,” he breathed, “stop apologising, we have all the time in the world now…we also have a very long flight to catch and if we don’t leave soon we’ll miss it.”
She nodded. “Right, yes, of course. What are we going to do about all our stuff? I can’t pack in the space of ten minutes, that would be disastrous.”
Benjamin shrugged his shoulders. “Guess we’ll just have to get stuff when we’re out there.”
That was a good idea; one she hadn’t even considered amongst the range of thoughts that swirled around her head. One that she couldn’t quite fully wrap her head around though, was the fact that she was going to be flying all the way to New Zealand and spending the next two weeks there; completely alone with Benjamin Mazzara. When she thought back to their first meeting - as well as those first few months at East High - it seemed ludicrous, it felt ludicrous. But that was her all over, she supposed; falling for the guy who made her life a living hell. Falling for the guy who had helped her endlessly over the past year, who also accepted her rejection gracefully despite his heart clearly breaking. Falling for the guy who waited for her despite everything.
Benjamin threaded his fingers through hers and guided them down the hallway but she stopped dead in her tracks. He looked back at her, his brow furrowing as he tilted his head slightly; his hand gently squeezing hers.
“There’s something I have to do first.” The confusion spread further over his features and she couldn’t help but chuckle at him before she stepped forward, dropping his hand so her palms could hold his face as she leaned up on her tiptoes. He very quickly realised her intentions as his hands landed on her waist, pulling her close and he bowed his head slightly to make it easier as their lips found each other. She could feel him smiling against as his fingertips massaged her waist and she wondered briefly if his hands might travel lower down her body but then she quickly remembered where they were which was followed by the fact they did not have time for anything more than just a kiss. Jennifer couldn’t even register that this was their first kiss, it all just felt so natural - his lips on hers, her hands at the back of his neck and his own hands holding her. She could very easily get used to it.
They eventually pulled apart, slightly out of breath but with smiles painted proudly on their faces. “We really have to catch that flight,” Benjamin let out again, half chuckling as he spoke. Jennifer nodded, taking hold of his hand again so they could walk to his car (she supposed she would just have to leave her car behind for two weeks, even if Gutierrez would no doubt grumble about it) and get to the airport as soon as was physically possible. And even though it was very tempting to stop and kiss him again, she knew she couldn’t. She had to also remind herself that they were going to spend two weeks in New Zealand together so they had plenty of time for all of that anyway.
They made it to the airport just in time for check-in, having no luggage and nothing else but their passports to their names made the whole process a lot easier - even if it did stress Jennifer out. But when he’d squeeze her hand and press his lips to the side of her head, it reminded her of how she’d felt during her last vacation; the dreaded cruise with Mike. She had all the time to prepare for that trip and nothing seemed to ease her thoughts and then the week arrived and much of it was spent emptying her stomach contents. She thought about how Mike did little to calm her, reassure her, be there for her. It was the first, amongst many, strikes against him. It was on that cruise where it had really dawned on her that she’d made the biggest mistake of her life. But then she looked to who was beside her and she rested her head on his shoulder as they waited for their flight to call for boarding, she realised none of that mattered anymore. They had found their way back to each other in the end.
His hand naturally rested on her thigh, as if he had been doing that for years. She placed her hand on top of his and she felt her heart beat quickening as he looked down at her, his lips upturning. It was worth the wait; for this, it was worth the wait. She opened her mouth to speak but was promptly interrupted by the person over the tannoy announcing that their flight was boarding. Benjamin stood up first, reaching for her hand to which she took gratefully. But she was quick to notice the twitch in his face, however - the same twitch he had when she’d bumped into him in the hallway earlier that evening. He was anxious.
“Benjamin, are you okay?” she asked him as they walked quickly towards the queue.
He cleared his throat. “I’m, uh, not a great flyer.”
Jennifer’s hand tightened in his. “Well, you’ve got me now and I will hold your hand the entire time.”
“For the whole fifteen hours?”
“It’s that long?”
“Well, not technically, it’s a two hour flight to LA and then a thirteen hour flight to New Zealand.”
She nodded slowly, smiling. “Then, I will hold your hand for the whole two hours on this flight and I will also hold your hand for the whole thirteen hours on the next flight.” She leaned into him, her smile growing more as he tucked her hair behind her ear just like he had not even an hour ago.
“Thank you, for being here,” he said, his voice so soft she could barely hear him.
She lifted her head to look up at him. “You don’t need to thank me, Benny. I want to be here, with you. There’s so much I want and I need to say and tell you and I-” But she was again interrupted by the woman at the desk shouting ‘next’ at them. It could wait, they had all the time in the world and they had thirteen hours on a plane to talk about everything.
They boarded the flight to LA, already getting a feel for the first class treatment. Jennifer stuck to her promise of holding his hand for the whole flight and as she sat there, a thousand feet in the air with her fingers entwined with his and her head rested on his shoulder, she felt truly happy. The happiest she had been in months; the kind of happiness that she didn’t have to fake, or convince herself of. She could feel the warmth in the pit of her stomach, it travelled and bloomed in her chest and it trickled through every vein. She wondered how or why she had denied herself the feelings she harboured for Benjamin, especially when she felt this good.
Neither of them spoke for that first flight, neither of them finding a reason to after their busy night. Besides, they had a thirteen hour flight awaiting them soon and that’s when they really could get all the things they wanted to say off their chest. But as the clock ticked by and they had less than thirty minutes left on their plane, they enjoyed the silence and each other’s company. She hadn’t felt peace quite like it before - her ever pounding, chaotic head finally free of thought.
When they landed, they had an hour to wait until the next flight which resulted in Jennifer resting her head in his lap as she awkwardly lay across the airport chairs. The drama of the day had finally caught up with her and she could barely keep her eyes open. Benjamin insisted that she at least rest since they wouldn’t be doing anything else except waiting around but she was sure that was just an excuse for him to run his fingers through her hair - she’d quickly deduced that it was his favourite pastime; she didn’t mind either, she quite enjoyed it. She did wonder how often he’d imagined himself doing it, how many times he had stopped himself. A part of her wished he hadn’t, perhaps they would be somewhere else entirely if he had been bolder, braver. But, she supposed she could’ve said the same about herself.
She felt hands gently shaking her shoulders and a soft voice in her ear telling her that it was time to board the last plane. She didn’t realise she had even managed to fall asleep and for so long as well. Although it wasn’t that surprising when Benjamin’s deft fingers soothed her scalp and lulled her into her dreams. With sleepy eyes, she wrapped her arm around his back whilst his own settled across her shoulder and they walked towards their gate. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head and the smile spread across her face; her eyes fluttering shut.
She couldn’t help but think back to her first year at East High and his disapproval of her touching him in passing and his protestation of her showing any ounce of emotion in front of him. Jennifer had come to realise that his rejection of both things hadn’t come from a place of hatred but rather a place of weakness - his achilles heel, so it be. She’d broken down the walls, she’d reached into his heart and she’d woken up all the things inside of him that he’d tried so hard to hide. Ever since she had suggested they’d take on the trip together and ever since she had finally accepted that she wanted to be with him in every which way, he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her. Well, if she thought about it more, she realised that it was happening slowly before that, a hand on the back here and a hand on the shoulder there. But never long for her to take too much notice of; never long enough for his touch to burn into her. Not like how he touched her now. He kept his hands on her as if he was too scared to let go in case she would slip away from him again.
And she was determined to not let that happen. She may have told the kids that they should never promise forever, but that was before it really kicked in that she could never imagine a life without Benjamin in it. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him; she wanted to spend forever with him.
They made themselves comfortable on the very spacious seats; Jennifer opted for the window seat again since Benjamin’s face paled at the sight of it every time. It wasn’t long before they were setting off again, on the last leg of their trip with his hand holding hers so tightly she was sure it was going to leave behind a bruise as they took off into the air. But, as the turbulence settled and they were able to move around more, he did relax and thankfully, loosened his grip.
She turned to him, her lips twitching into a smile. “You know what we could do? To take your mind off being thousands of feet up in the air…” He pulled his brows together as he looked back at her. “Watch a film!” she continued, innocently, although it didn’t take a genius to work out where his mind had gone and it would’ve explained the slightly shocked expression on his face. She could feel the heat rising up her chest at the thought of the two of them, pressed together, hands roaming each other, his breath on her skin. She bit the inside of her cheek to try and steel her focus back onto the actual suggestion she’d made and not the image that played in her head.
Jennifer cleared her throat. “You know, last year, we never actually finished watching Big Hero 6-”
“Yeah, the fire that we started kind of got in the way of that,” he interrupted, a smirk spreading across his face. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him being pedantic about the whole ordeal because, well, of course he was.
“I mean, before that, we fell asleep so I never got to see the ending,” she breathed, her eyes glancing to the screens in front of them. “I always imagined that one day we’d find the time to finish it.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “No you didn’t.”
She poked him in the arm. “Yes, I did, Benny.” She was quick to notice his eyes widen at her using his nickname again. She couldn’t help it, she just liked how it rolled off her tongue and it strangely suited him. She wasn’t sure if she would’ve been able to say the same thing about him last year but now, now he was Benny, the funky one (again). “It just happened later than I probably expected it too.”
He sighed. “I suppose we’ll have to watch it, then.”
“Don’t act like you don’t love it.”
She heard him chuckle softly beside her and she couldn’t help the way her heart jumped at the sound. She loved that she could make him laugh and smile, it was a sight she rarely seen from him so every time it happened and she knew that she was responsible for it, she felt proud. Scrolling through the list of movies, she felt him gently place his hand on her back, his thumb running up and down her spine, making her shiver. She glanced at him, from over her shoulder, only to be met with a silly grin. Their eyes connected and she felt her heart plummet to the floor.
She was in love. Completely and utterly, in love.
Benjamin tilted his head to the side slightly and her breath hitched, why couldn’t she have realised it all sooner? Forgetting all about the film she was trying to find, she leaned forward, her palm against his soft cheek as her lips found his. The hand that had been caressing her spine travelled and landed at the back of her head; settling in her blonde hair. The blood pounded in her ears as she felt his tongue run across her bottom lip and as much as she wanted to continue, for the fact that her entire body tingled with adrenaline and she simply couldn’t get enough of him, she was painfully aware of their location. Her cheeks flushed bright red as she pulled away. His finger traced across her face and she gnawed on her bottom lip trying to contain herself on a very public plane - they may have been in first class but they weren’t exactly alone.
“Why did you choose him?” Her brow furrowed. “I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that, ignore me.”
“No,” she placed her hand on his chest, “it’s fine, I never really gave you an explanation at the time and I think you deserve one because I have been so stupid.”
He shook his head. “You’re not stupid.”
She let out an awkward laugh. “No, I am. I’ve wasted so much time and not even just my time but yours and Mike’s. I’ve…I’ve not been fair.” She could feel the lump in her throat forming, though she was not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was a culmination of everything that had happened in the past few months catching up on her or maybe it was because she was finally about to admit to something she had buried deep in herself months ago, because she was in denial of what was happening and what happened between her and Benjamin. “I knew Mike wasn’t the right choice, he’s lovely and kind and yeah, he probably needs to work on actually listening to people but, he was the easier option.”
Jennifer watched as he straightened up in the chair whilst taking a deep breath. “I could settle with him. And Ricky, despite his misgivings, approved in a way, which meant that I could just be, I guess.” Her hand landed on his thigh and she smiled as he quickly covered her hand with his own. “But then there’s you and you were…you. I didn’t want to stand in the way of your dreams, you’d applied to that college four times and finding out that you had finally gotten in I couldn’t stop you from at least trying.”
“It wasn’t the same without you,” Benjamin swallowed, his eyes scanning hers. “I tried to enjoy it, I really tried but, everywhere I went all I could think about was you and how you were a million miles away from me. And then I’d think about that stupid school and those annoying kids and I just knew, California wasn’t where I was supposed to be and even if you were still with Mike I didn’t care because, being near you, was enough. You’ve changed my life in so many ways, Jennifer and despite everything, you’re my best friend and having you by my side means the world.”
Her lips parted and she could feel the tear slipping down her cheek but it was quickly swiped away with the pad of his thumb. “You came back for me?”
“Wasn’t it obvious? I told you, you were the only thing that could’ve stopped me from going in the first place and you were the only reason I came back.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “It was just a bonus that Gutierrez decided to give me a promotion when I came back.”
Jennifer scoffed. “Well, you coming back was my biggest wake up call. I thought, out of sight, out of mind. And it worked, we went on a cruise and I spent the entire time throwing up which was not great but it did distract me and then we had the rest of the summer and I was working on the High School Musical 3 script. But there was these little things that kept building up and I know that I should’ve ended it sooner than I did but I just thought, Jennifer, you know, you’re a middle aged drama teacher what other chances are you going to get at happiness? Especially when the one person who truly made you happy and was actually and always has been there for you is currently living out his dream in another state?”
She couldn’t breathe, the words just falling from her mouth as she spoke without thinking. She tried to read his expression for any kind of reaction but he just stared softly back at her, his lips upturned into a small smile.
She continued. “But then you were there. And all those little things I tried to ignore turned into big things and I knew that I just couldn’t continue putting on a smile and pretend that everything was fine, not when the feelings I thought I had gotten over were very much still there.”
“You mean you’ve…” He didn’t even have to say it because she was nodding, already knowing what the end of his question was.
“I didn’t realise it at the time and I couldn’t understand why it hurt me so much to let you go until I seen you again and all I wanted to do was…”
“Scream?” He finished for her, making her laugh.
“Yeah.”
He held her hands tightly in his, his eyes connected with hers and she could’ve sworn that he was staring directly into her soul - which might’ve explained why it felt as though she had had all the breath squeezed out of her lungs.
“Better late than never?”
Her lips twitched. “Better late than never,” she repeated, feeling herself relax and a weight lifting off her shoulders. “Now, how about that film?”
“Sounds good to me.”
She finally managed to locate the film and pressed play. If she closed her eyes they were back in the faculty lounge with an array of leftover food, her laptop balanced on their knees and her head just resting on his shoulder as they both slept soundly. She wondered what her past self would’ve thought if she could see them now, she probably wouldn’t believe it. Current Jennifer could hardly believe either. At least this time they might actually get to finish the film, though.
As she sat back in her chair, he lifted his arm to wrap around her shoulder and her head naturally fell to his chest.
“I’m getting deja vu.” His chest vibrated beneath her ear.
“I don’t remember us being this close, do you?” she spoke as she looked up at him, a glint in her eye.
“Perhaps not, but…”
She lifted her head to look at him properly. “But, what?” He almost look embarrassed as she squinted her eyes, trying to gauge exactly what he was referring to.
“That was the night that I realised I didn’t hate you,” he paused and she could see the blush on his cheeks deepening. But he continued. “That it was quite the opposite, in fact.”
Her heart fluttered, had he really fallen for her back then? How did it take her so long for the feelings to click into place? She cursed herself for being so wrapped in so many different things that she had been so blind to what was right in front of her the whole time. But when she thought about it, it started to make sense. It was after Thanksgiving that he had been more…accommodating. And he had actually turned up to opening night in a suit and tie, ready to help even before she’d asked.
Jennifer slowly nodded, the smirk growing. “That would explain a few things…” she trailed off, her gaze flicking to the film before back to him. “So what was it exactly that changed your mind about me?”
“I think we’ve done enough talking, how about we watch the film?”
She rolled her eyes but respected his wishes and lay her head on his chest once again.
“I will get it out of you one day though, Benny.”
“Whatever you say, Jenny.”