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Akane can't sleep.
He tosses and turns in his bed. A quick glance at the clock suggests that it's way past midnight on a Monday no less.
He wishes he was more like Aoi, being able to get a good night’s rest despite having a history test tomorrow.
He reaches for his phone to send a quick text to her but decides against it, not wanting to disturb her sleep. He supposes he’ll have to wish her in the morning.
Akane hasn’t looked at Aoi’s page in a while so he decides to scroll for a bit, while he’s still awake, pictures of Yashiro and Aoi gardening together during the week plaster themselves all over his screen.
His breath quickens a bit in fear, so he tries to reassure himself, Aoi and Yashiro are just friends and always have been. There’s no way things would've changed between them within the span of a week. But he can’t help but notice the spark in Aoi's eyes, how happy and comfortable they seem with each other and he hates the bitter taste of jealousy that settles on his tongue.
She likes her, doesn't she?
This isn’t the first time he’s felt like this, it’s been this way for a while now. He can’t control who Aoi likes and who she doesn’t. But he can’t help but be selfish and wish that he was at least in her top five.
He puts his phone beside him and goes through Aoi’s list of friends in his head and ranks them as if he was in Aois perspective. He’s probably 7th, 6th if he’s lucky. Akane’s never been enough for her has he. Even after all their time together.
He has literally shaped his personality and interests to make Aoi like him better. He doesn’t even know if it’s love anymore.
But he knows the solemn fact that it's unrequited and she doesn't love him back. She never will. Akane hates the probability that it might never change, and that they will never be on an equal footing. Aoi has always been on a pedestal to Akane. He's always idolized and worshiped her. He’s never been an important person in Aoi’s life and she'll most definitely forget him.
That's not true, none of that can be true, the rational part of his brain replies. He’s sure that his Ao-chan isn’t so cruel as to rank her friends and forget the ones at the bottom, she loves everyone…
Except him the other foolish yet honest part of his brain claims. Not helping and only pushing the metaphorical sword further into the sorry excuse of his wounded heart.
He’s being dramatic. He should really shut up and try to get some sleep.
“Are you even sure she cares about you dude?” Lemon's words from a few days ago ring and echo a bit through his head.
He takes his phone once more and scrolls through a few of his texts with Aoi. She's never cared has she. There's no enthusiasm or voice in her messages no matter how many times he rereads them. Even when he’s sent her giant blocks of texts explaining how he feels and how important she is to him. Not once has she ever done the same or shown any sign of reciprocating and feeling that way too. She hasn’t shown any emotions towards him at all. She’s never happy or sad to see him not only online but in person as well. Aoi always has a fake smile practically stitched onto her face; he wishes he was close enough to see a real one.
One would've thought that Aoi never knew Akane with how she texts and talks to him compared to the rest of her friends (does she even see them as friends?) However, he would rather have that, than her knowing him for the majority of their lives and not seeing him worthy enough to have an opinion on…
How long have they been like this? Deep down he’s tried to hide and run away from this reality. But it’s been bothering him for months. Would it be best to step out of her life entirely? Would she even notice?
This is gross, he needs to stay positive. Maybe he should do something simple to tackle this predicament and grow his hair out. Yes that’s it, Aoi did mention once that she preferred long hair on guys. There’s still things he can do to change himself to make Aoi like him more. This year will be different. He just needs to keep trying, that's all.
Plink…plink.
The screen of his phone has tiny drops on it.
Oh.
He’s been crying.
He quickly wipes his eyes with his empty hand and tries to look for a distraction. He scrolls blindly on his phone, fresh tears obscuring his vision.
This is pathetic. He can't believe he’d end up crying over something as small as this.
Aoi probably wouldn’t care if she saw him in this state right now huh.
That thought only makes him sob harder.
He throws his phone on the nightstand and adjusts his blanket with more force than necessary, trying to sleep away his feelings. Why can’t the night be over already? He’ll feel better in the morning for sure. He shuts his eyes firmly, brows furrowed.
A faint buzz from his phone halts his thoughts. Who would text him at this hour? He hopes it’s not who he thinks it is.
“Finished my exorcist duties, coming over. I have a horrible injury! And I need my big strong nurse Akane ASAP!°՞(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞°”
And of course it’s him. Akane’s sadness turns into frustration, which then turns into panic over rereading the text. He can’t let Minamoto Teru of all people see him like this. That idiot, he never asks for help when he’s injured, what could he be hiding…He isn’t given another second to continue his train of thought as his head turns towards the tapping of glass at his window.
Akane grabs his glasses from his nightstand and puts them on. He can see perfectly fine and there will be no dangerous supernaturals in his house but it's more for hiding his tears creating a barrier between him and Teru. He opens the window quickly, ready to lecture Teru about taking better care of himself and not recklessly entering houses through windows when injured. Unfortunately, his brain seems to shut down once Teru enters the room.
Apparently, it had been raining outside. Akane wishes he could punch the clouds for the visual in front of him. Teru’s hair was soaked from the roots to the tips. His hand looks calloused yet smooth as he brushes away his bangs from his eyes. Akane’s eyes follow the movement and travel to his torso where his translucent white shirt sticks to his body, revealing various faded scars from his previous patrols decorating the area. Some healing on their own, some patched up thanks to Akane. His jeans and shoes aren’t that soaked but are still making Akane’s floor wet.
“You’ve been staring for a while~ Like what you see?” Teru purrs as he lifts Akane's chin to look him in the eye. Akane can’t bring himself to think or even blink under Teru’s gaze. Teru’s teasing shifts into concern as he notices the other’s red eyes, “Have you been crying Akane?”
The past events of the night replay in his mind. “I-I’m fine just having a bit of trouble sleeping that’s all.” Akane takes a step back from Teru, stupidly rubbing his eyes and adjusts his glasses before new tears start to form. Why’d he have to come now? This is so humiliating. Akane heads towards his closet not facing Teru, “You said you had a massive injury but I don't see one.” he opens his closet to get the first aid kit and a pair of clothes for his uninvited guest, his previous emotions turning into the sense of familiar annoyance he gets when he’s with Teru.
He sheepishly scratches his cheek as he walks towards Akane, “I’ll explain that later only if you tell me what's wrong. I’ll stay the whole night if I have to.”
“No.” Akane casually replies, unaware of the presence eerily creeping behind him.
“Suit yourself,” Teru warns as he wraps his arms around Akane and shoves his face into the crook of his neck, shaking his head to ensure that Akane gets drenched as much as possible. “Prez, that's cold!” Akane shrieks, squirming in his grasp but failing to break free, “Tell me Akane~” Teru presses himself further into the other. Intertwining each of their hands across his chest. Akane’s fussing does nothing except allow the water to spread to him more easily, now he would have to change as well.
“Okay, okay! I’ll tell you.” Teru squeezes him one last time before letting go, “Let’s fix your injury and dry you off first.” Akane looks him up and down, rubbing his own arms to try and warm himself up, “Where exactly is your injury?”
Teru blushes, looks at the floor and mumbles something quietly.
“Speak up prez.”
“It’s on my lips…” He points to a tiny, miniscule, almost impossible to see, cut on his lower lip. “Maybe you could kiss it better…”
Akane nearly slaps him.
Instead he puts away the first aid kit and kicks his closet door with a loud bang. He then wraps a towel around Teru’s head in a way that he hopes to be suffocating, rubbing it on his hair and covering his mouth when he tries to explain himself, throwing a barrage of insults and chiding him for wasting his time and being stupid.
Once Akane deems his hair to be dry he asks him to change into the pair of clothes he brought out earlier, while he changes out of his now wet shirt. It was his favorite, why’d Teru have to do that to this shirt…
"Can’t I change in the bathroom? Ooh, does Akane want to see me-'' Akane puts his free hand over the other’s mouth and cuts him off before he can finish his sentence, "No! It’s just- you’re making the floor wet… best you change here instead of walking across the house. Leave your clothes in the hamper over there for now.” Teru stifles a laugh at his answer, while Akane blushes of what he swears to be embarrassment, denying a strange feeling in stomach.
It only spreads as Teru starts to casually peel off his shirt right in front of Akane’s eyes, revealing the slightest sliver of skin before Akane turns around quickly, cheeks hot and fuming. And so, he changes out of his shirt the fastest he’s ever changed in his life.
When he’s done he keeps his eyes closed, allowing a cold hand to gently set on his shoulder, he jumps. Teru grins cheekily, his stupid fangs coming out, “Sometimes when you're not being a cockroach, you’re almost like a cat Akane~” he moves his hand from Akane’s shoulder to pet his hair. Akane frowns with annoyance, swatting the other’s hand away, he watches as Teru obliges and moves to sit comfortably at the middle of Akane's bed patting the spot right next to him. As if Akane was the guest instead of the other way around. Akane sits down hoping he wouldn’t have to explain himself despite knowing where this was going.
He plops down on his bed next to Teru and the other intertwines their hands and looks him in the eye. “It’s because of Aoi isn’t it?”
Akane’s jaw drops in shock, “What- no- how did you- why would you…”
“As I was texting you before I got here I noticed you were already online despite the late hour. That combined with a lack of activity on Aoi’s page, compared to your usual comments and marriage proposals. As well as your general mood for the past few days, led me to the conclusion that you were thinking. A lot. I needed to see what was up myself and make sure you were okay.”
Akane is in utter disbelief at how easily Teru was able to figure him out. Why was he paying so much attention to him? Teru searches Akane’s face for confirmation, when he finds it he continues, “I can’t believe i’m saying this but you need to hear it.” He’s blushing a bit as he takes a deep breath and squeezes their hands “I really lo-care, care about you, Akane I always have and always will. Even though we bicker a lot and despite you being the most annoying cockroach I’ve met, you can talk to me and I'll be there for you.”
Teru’s flustered yet determined smile doesn’t drop as a few tears fall from Akane’s eyes. He extends his arms towards him, a silent invitation for a hug and Akane leaps for it. He almost hugs the life out of Teru. Never knowing until now just how important Teru's dumb yet sweet confession would be to him.
“I don’t think she cares about me.”
Teru wipes away a tear, I care.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be her favorite no matter how much I change myself.”
Teru wipes away another tear, I love you for who you are.
Akane’s mumbling softly and he’s not even sure if his words are coherent, Teru doesn’t answer and if he hears him he doesn’t say so. The both of them know his presence is enough.
“I’m so dependent on her it’s disgusting that I-I can’t even be my own person…”
Akane chokes out a loud sob through stuttering breath, as he leans on Teru like a lifeline, the force of it making the two lie down.
“...because every part of me is because of her.”
Teru strokes his back lovingly, “Do you hate her now?”
“No, I can't bring myself to.” he sniffles “If anything I hate that I loved her to the extent that I did. It’s been years, Teru, years.” Akane pushes himself to hover over Teru at that, his hands on either side of his unfairly pretty head. “I wish I would’ve realized it sooner. I feel so stupid.” Akane averts his gaze, ashamed and chooses to stare at the pattern on the blanket beneath them instead. Teru smiles softly with patience and acceptance, hands rubbing up and down Akane's sides, in hopes of comforting him with his feelings. Akane’s tears seem to have stopped for now.
“I don’t even know who I am anymore… I don't know what to do if I don't love Ao-chan.”
Teru’s hands stop and rest on the other’s waist as he comes up with an idea, “Can you think of anything you like that isn’t linked to Aoi? It’s worth a try.”
Akane just stares at Teru, he’s never thought of such a question in his life.
“What about a color? Look around, is there any shade that catches your eye?” Teru’s using the tone when he goes over rules with Tiara and Kou, it seems to work. Akane looks around his room but his eyes eventually find their way back to Teru and dive into the pigment of his electric blue eyes.
“Blue’s pretty I guess…” he responds, making no effort to move as Teru reaches for the covers and drapes it over them, tucking Akane in. “That’s a lovely color Akane.” Teru hums and gently removes the other’s glasses, setting it on the nightstand “Do you have a favorite animal?” He turns off the light and brushes Akane’s bangs from his face with his fingers, the same hand tracing along the lines of his face and cupping his cheek.
Akane’s memory goes back to the lion he had on his shirt before he changed. “Lions are cool, they may seem all scary on the outside but they’re big softies when they're with their pride. Kinda like you hehe…” Akane realizes he’s smiling when he feels Teru’s finger stroke the corners of his upturned lips. Why does he have to look like that even in the dark…
“You are your own beautiful person Akane, you’ll find yourself with time.” Teru knows that the him from the past when he first met Akane, would be absolutely livid to see such foolish words coming out of his mouth. Directed to a supernatural, in a lovey dovey rose tinted lens nonetheless.
“Thanks prez,” Akane’s shy smile turns into a mischievous smirk that goes straight to Teru’s heart, before he tilts his head and bites Teru's finger.
“Ack! Akane!” he pulls his finger away, faking a pout like he’d been seriously hurt, “looks like the devil’s back huh?”
“Haha, I’d say it’s the other way around. You're like a burglar, y'know, breaking into my house at random hours of the night, except you steal my sleep instead of actual stuff.” Teru laughs warmly at that, a pleasant sound that chimes in Akane’s ears. Soon he finds himself laughing along too.
After their laughter dies down they’re left with a comfortable silence and Akane’s eyes can’t help but fall onto Teru’s lips “We never did take care of your ‘injury’, did we?
Teru blushes furiously as he realizes what Akane’s implying and tries to hide it out of embarrassment, “Uh, oh wow! I suddenly feel amazing and absolutely at my best, woohoo! Yippee ki yay!” Akane sighs fondly, a blush of his own steadily creeping on his cheeks. He’s already leaning in, “Shut up prez,” Teru’s blush doesn’t subside as he whispers in the microscopic space between their faces “No you.”
Their lips finally meet and it's incredibly satisfying. Teru’s lips are smooth and warm, Akane can taste a bit of the rain from earlier. It's perfect. His heart is pounding against his ribs, he hopes that Teru can hear it and not at the same time. Teru tugs on Akane’s hair a bit and makes a delicious noise when Akane licks the cut on his lower lip, causing him to open his mouth for the other. Akane sighs when he finds Teru’s fangs, and the latter’s hands settle down at the base of Akane's neck, his thumbs rolling on either side of it, massaging it slightly.
Eventually the two break apart to breathe, they're staring at each other while processing the moment and catching their breath. Akane briefly considers using his clock keeper form to go back five minutes and relive that moment again. Teru chuckles, seemingly reading his mind once more that night, “There will be plenty of kisses for you later Akane, don't worry.” He presses his lips on the other’s forehead firmly, a silent message to his brain to shut up and stop bothering himself, also serving as a goodnight kiss. Akane blushes, his heart beating, “I'm looking forward to it, prez.” he smiles one last time as the two drift off into the land of slumber together. Eyes shut, hands intertwined.
Finding himself and accepting who he really is without Aoi will be difficult but with Teru by his side he has hope that he’ll be okay.