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Haru comes out of the bathroom after a long shower and walks to his room in complete silence. Rin has come to visit, which has undoubtedly taken him by surprise. He now finds him lying on his stomach while he holds a book in his hands. The redhead doesn't notice Haru's presence in the bedroom, not until the boy decides to speak.
“What are you doing?” Rin's gaze drifts from the letters in his book to connect with Haru's. He gets up from the floor and sits on the edge of the blue-eyed bed still with the object in hand.
"What do you think I do? Read?”, he answers matter-of-factly, as he picks up the book. Haru squints his eyes to try to read the title, however he can't; so he walks over and takes a seat next to him, setting aside the towel that was wrapped around his neck.
Rin looks at him out of the corner of his eye, to later return to his reading.
"So... are you going to sleep over tonight?"
The redhead shrugs at the question of his friend.
"If you're okay with that, I think I could do it."
"What about your school? Are you sure it's ok?"
"Don't worry about it, I asked permission to spend the night outside", Haruka nods.
"Fine," he murmurs, as he settles into his place. Accidentally, his shoulder brushes against Rin's. It was a small touch, but it was enough to make them both jump. They exchange a quick glance, but neither of them feels the need to comment on it.
Tiny contacts like these have become somewhat common in recent weeks. Or rather, the shy reactions that the two show are more frequent. Because somehow, the feeling is different.
A strange silence settles in the room, and they feel it. The black-haired boy looks around, trying to avoid his eyes meeting Rin, who is already immersed in his reading —or that’s what Haru thinks. The only sounds that can be perceived are those coming from the sheets of paper that the redhead passes with great care.
After a few minutes, Haru takes a breath to speak.
"And… What is the name of the book?" He questions quietly.
"Huh?"
"The book you're reading," he clarifies, then points at it. "What's it called?"
"Oh, umm… ‘You Are In Love’ . Gou gave it to me on my birthday. She said I needed a little romance on my bookshelf, since all the books I have are about training techniques", Rin replies, in a slightly amused tone.
"I feel like you'd buy it anyway. That kind of romance stuff is very you" there's a trace of a joke in Haruka's words.
"Shut up," the boy notes that the black-haired man chuckles.
"And it's good?"
"I guess, I have to admit that it's been interesting… " Rin has already looked up from the book.
"What is it about?", Haru is curious.
"It's a 'childhood friends to lovers ' ", Nanase frowns at him upon hearing his friend's response. Rin laughs quietly. He almost forgets that Haru has a hard time understanding English, "Childhood friends who fall in love. They're already at it, actually."
Haruka turns his eyes to the text.
"It's in English", Rin speaks once he notices the confused gesture of his friend.
"Yeah. I see why I can't understand it."
"Well, maybe you'd understand if you didn't go home in the middle of classes." The redhead raises an eyebrow in his direction. "I still don't understand how you've managed to make it through the year."
He said that last thing under his breath. Now it's Haru who shrugs.
Other minutes pass in the utmost secrecy. The black-haired man just stays there, next to Rin.
"Are you going to read it to me?" He asks, suddenly.
"If I did, you wouldn't understand."
"Then translate it for me." Nanase crosses his arms. Rin lets out an incredulous laugh.
"I'm not going to translate this. If you're so interested in the story, start studying," he replies with a hint of mockery in his voice "Maybe I could lend it to you later."
Haruka rolls his eyes.
"I'm bored. Read it to me."
"If you're bored, clean your house," Rin smiles wryly.
"I don't want to."
"Then go read your water springs book or whatever that is."
"I'm going to stay here until you decide to read to me."
"It's your house, you can do what you want. I don't care", and that's when Haru starts rocking from side to side, making the bed move. Rin doesn't think he can concentrate if he keeps doing that, "Good! I'm going to read it, so stop doing that."
The redhead can swear that he has seen a small triumphant smile on Nanase's face. He can't help but snort.
"God, how pushy you are," he adds, frustrated.
Rin sighs before starting. The boy reads the line in English to himself and thinks for a moment, under the watchful eye of Haruka, who notices a sound coming from his lips.
"Can you read it again? I did not understand."
"I was looking for the right way to translate it." The redhead examines the text once more. He clears his throat, "Okay, this goes like this: “She had never wondered what her true feelings were around her best friend, but moments like these made her feel like they were more than just friends.” "
Rin reads aloud, glancing at Haru's face from time to time to make sure his friend is listening carefully.
" “Then, their eyes finally met and he looked at her lips…” "
Oh.
As Rin reads the paragraph in which a kiss is coming, his voice takes on an awkward tone as Haruka stares at him. Slowly, it fades to a quiet whisper. The words dance around the room like butterflies on a summer breeze.
" “Her breathing was slightly affected. She could feel it, he was there, the opportunity was there… ” ", Rin stops his reading to turn to see the black-haired man. A few minutes ago, he hadn't realized how close they were. For some reason, he feels her cheeks itch as his gaze connects with Haruka's. Nanase's blue eyes are focused on Rin's as well. Matsuoka is feeling a bit weak. He can feel something and he knows Haru can feel it too. It's like a strange feeling of longing and affection.
"Rin?" Nanase mutters.
"Yeah?"
The redhead looks at Haru with anticipation, along with a strange fluttering in his heart as he studies the other boy. The black-haired man's fine features stand out in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand. With the lighting hitting just the right spot, Rin feels a surge of electricity run through his body.
Haru swallows as he tries to settle the ideas in his head.
"If... if the protagonists kissed now..." His words are hesitant. "Do you think anyone would mind?"
"Haru, what kind of question is that?"
"If they kissed, do you think something would change in their relationship? Would their childhood friendship be affected or would it just be a simple kiss?" From the way Haru asks the questions, Rin can sense that this goes beyond the story in the book.
"I'm… sure it would be more than just a kiss, Haru."
"What you're saying is that the kiss would definitely lead to something else, right?"
Rin's eyes have lowered to the boy's lips out of inertia.
"Yeah. For us it would be something else."
Haru imitates the action of his friend. His breathing becomes heavy, as he tries to control himself from thinking about something like kissing Rin now. There is a moment of doubt in which the blue-eyed berates himself for considering it. Because kissing your childhood friend could be stupid. The redhead is the complete opposite of Haruka, he acts on impulse most of the time, he doesn't stop to think about the consequences that his actions could bring about.
Then Rin leans forward, until his forehead touches Haru's and he closes his eyes at the contact. He can feel Haru's breath on his lips. A blush spreads across the black-haired man's face, who begins to get nervous due to the proximity of the other. He didn't expect this, Rin's sudden movement makes him feel a burst of emotion.
The redhead is giving Haru the option to kiss him and the alternative to pull away. The seconds pass and no one moves. It's not until Haru stops thinking about it and decides to do something. He pulls away a bit, looking at Rin for a moment. Matsuoka widens his eyes, somewhat confused by the boy's action. And when their gazes meet again, Haruka slowly approaches his friend's face, with his eyes closed before pressing his lips to Rin's.
When Rin feels the boy's touch, it is impossible for him to hide the blush that has begun to invade his cheeks. His lips meet so softly that the redhead wonders if this is happening now, if this is a dream, if this is real. The kiss starts out as light as a feather, but slowly deepens. A silent sigh escapes from the black-haired man's lips as soon as this happens.
They have no idea what it's like to kiss, but this sure feels good.
Trembling, Rin puts his hands on either side of Haruka's face. His mind is blank, as a shuddering sensation attacks his body. Rin's heart is pounding as he fights not to back down. Surely this is better than that strange dream he had at the age of fourteen, while he was in Australia. He never told anyone about it.
The scene fades into a torrent of emotions as Rin allows his tongue to touch Haru's lips, whose heart is pounding hard enough to crack his ribs. Still, he doesn't want to stop. The redhead can feel the boy's fingertips touching his cheek. His hands are cold, which could mean that Haru is nervous based on what he once heard.
A short kiss marks the end of the contact between his lips. Haru's world feels blurry and alive, as Rin gasps while he laughs with total nervousness. The redhead looks at him for a few seconds, before dropping his head onto Haru's shoulder. Nanase's head is still spinning from the shock of what happened.
"Wow..." Rin finally whispers.
Haru just stays there, trying to control his rapid breathing.
***
It's 3:00 am. Neither of them has been able to fall asleep, not after what happened hours ago. Both are aware that the other is pretending to sleep, however neither decides to say anything. The only sounds that can be heard in the place are those of the crickets outside. The night seems so long at this point…
From the futon on the floor, Rin stares up at the ceiling dimly lit by the moonlight streaming through the thin curtains of Haruka's room. The scene replays itself endlessly in his head and it makes him really anxious. Rin's mental mess right now isn't too different from Haru's, who keeps tossing and turning in his bed, trying to sleep. His anxiety is so high that he knows he has no chance of falling asleep.
Rin begins to do the same, tossing and turning on the futon, hoping to find solace in the dream, only to find himself more awake than ever. Time passes and both are beginning to despair.
"Rin," Haru's voice calls his attention in the middle of the darkness. "Are you awake?"
The redhead lets out a shaky “no”, which causes Haru to allow himself to smile a little.
"I can't sleep", Haru says.
Now it is Rin who curves his lips.
"Me neither…"
Suddenly, they both feel very silly for pretending to be sleeping. It could be said that the mood is not the usual, but it is not uncomfortable either. And… silence again. Their hearts beat so fast that their thoughts swirl like a whirlwind in their minds. A few minutes pass before Haru decides to speak again.
"Are you cold?" he questions, still looking at the ceiling.
"Yes", Rin confesses, outlining a shy smile.
Haru rests his elbow on the mattress, to stick his head in his direction. A feeling of bravery attacks him, and without much thought, he dares to ask the following question:
"Do you want to sleep up here in bed with me?"
"A-are you sure?"
"We slept together when we were kids, I don't see why not."
Yes, but it's different now.
Flustered, Rin climbs onto the bed. Lying next to each other, they can feel their stomachs twist with the restlessness of lying in the same bed. Rin moves a bit to get more comfortable, but he accidentally ends up rubbing his arm with his friend's. The redhead can feel Haru's body tense under his action. Both of their hands tremble slightly as they try to stay still.
The feeling of the blissful butterflies increases with each passing minute, Rin feels like his mind is on fire. Haru scrapes one fingernail against another in an act of unease.
"It is true that it's warmer up here…" Rin finally breaks the silence, after clearing his throat.
Haru presses his lips.
"Do you want to talk about that ?" He questions in a whisper.
The redhead knows what Haru means by 'that'. Rin turns his head slightly to look at the black-haired man, before he decides to do the same. Their gazes connect, Rin bites his lower lip, unable to give a concrete answer to that.
"Do you want to talk about that?" Matsuoka asks back.
"Do you have something to say?"
Rin reaches for Haruka's hand and begins to play with his fingers. With his thumb, he gently strokes the back. Nanase finds it strangely cute how shy Rin is now, contrary to what he usually is most of the time. The boy has lowered his gaze to the hand that he caresses, as if he wanted to prevent his gaze from meeting Haru's again.
"To tell the truth, I always felt that what we have went beyond our rivalry in swimming, beyond friendship. It's special… " Rin and his ability with words. "And, I think I refused to see it for a long time, until now ."
Haru's eyes shine at his friend's response. As if what he said perfectly described what he thinks. Nanase sighs.
"I have felt the same way too."
"Yeah?" Rin turns to see Haru, who gives him a warm smile that makes his heart skip a beat. Haru always has one of those smiles for the redhead.
"Yeah…"
They both smile because after so many years they have understood. It has always been something deeper than swimming, it is that feeling that many call 'love'. It is then that Rin ventures to hug him and Haruka lets himself be wrapped by him. With peace finally sinking in, the two close their eyes to finally sleep.