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Everything was different since Halloween.
Albus was still his best friend, that hadn’t changed at least. But after all they’d been through, it would have been unrealistic to assume that their relationship would stay the same. Scorpius was aware that these feelings for Albus were nothing new, they had been there for a long time, years even, but he had buried them deep down because he was scared. Scared of what they meant and scared of what would happen if he ever voiced them. And what frightened him the most was discovering himself and a new part of his identity that he had adamantly suppressed since he had become aware of it.
Scorpius knew that Albus had a hard time figuring himself out after what happened with Delphi, he needed some time to examine assumptions about himself and explore his feelings. The tension between them had been building up for weeks, with neither boy brave enough to make the first move or even broach the subject.
In those days where time seemed to move torturously slow, Scorpius had reached out to his dad in desperation. He didn’t want to make a big deal about it but knew that fundamentally the way Draco would see his son would change. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing - Scorpius wasn’t worried about his reaction, he was only excited for Draco to understand him better. Since his mum had died, they had grown extremely close to each other. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t share with him.
“I like Albus. Well, more than like really. I’m pretty sure he feels the same, but I’m going mad not knowing what’s going on inside his head.”
“Well, have you asked him?” Draco answered nonchalantly, as if it was a completely obvious and simple thing for 16 year-old boys to do.
Scorpius turned red, sighed and shook his head. Talking about his feelings out loud terrified him, even after everything else that had happened.
“You need to take the leap, Scorpius. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped. What you want is important, and you deserve to have those feelings heard. Never suppress a part of you for fear of the outcome.”
Their first kiss had been impulsive and messy. Others might describe it as awkward, but for Albus and Scorpius it was a turning of the tides. In the end it was Scorpius, channelling Malfoy the Unanxious, who had grabbed Albus’s hand and pulled him close, reaching up to cup his face and softly place his lips on his. His heart was beating erratically but for an entirely different reason that he was used to as he pulled away slightly, only to rest their foreheads together. Albus’s eyes were wide with surprise, but a large grin exposed the joy that was dominating. Scorpius would do anything in the entire world to make Albus smile like that again. Scorpius had had crushes in the past, people he found attractive. But it had never been like this. It was like an ache inside of him that longed to be with Albus, to see him happy. And knowing that he was part of that happiness, well there was no other feeling like it.
Their recent experiences had accelerated Scorpius’s understanding and self-acceptance – he knew what it felt like to live in a world without Albus and it had been unbearable. And now he had the chance to spend every day with him, making sure he knew just how much he loved him. He would never take that for granted again.
Albus told Scorpius about the conversation he’d had with Harry, and the love and acceptance from his family that was incredibly important to both of them. Scorpius was bursting to share the recent developments with his own father and was waiting patiently for the next time they would see each other in person to tell Draco everything.
Back home for Christmas, the young couple stepped off the Hogwarts Express holding hands. Albus kissed Scorpius as they said goodbye and went their separate ways, it was obvious that they loathed being parted no matter how short the duration. Draco watched from a distance, unable to stop the grin that spread across his face or the tears that pooled in his eyes.
“So. How’s Albus?” Draco asked casually, raising his eyebrow slightly as soon as his son made his way over.
“He’s great… we’re great,” Scorpius shared, with a faraway look in his eyes betraying that his mind was elsewhere.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, Dad. We’re young and we still have so much to figure out about ourselves and what it means to be together, but I know that this is something special. I love him.”
The last sentence was almost whispered, as if it was the first time Scorpius had said the words out loud, and Draco smiled knowingly. From the looks that the boys shared to literally fighting to the ends of the earth to save each other, there was no doubt.
“You are brave, Scorpius. In huge ways, but in the smallest of choices too. I know you don’t think that about yourself but it’s true. I spent so long trying to be someone I wasn’t because of the expectations of others, and I don’t want that for you. Whatever you do and whatever happens in your life, being brave and strong and your unique self will always be heroic in my eyes. What you’ve been through has been tough, but I am so proud watching the young man you are becoming. I can’t lie to you and promise that the future will be easy, but the most important thing to me is that you are doing what brings you joy and living your life authentically. All the gold in the world can’t buy you the feelings that falling in love creates. I love you; nothing will ever change that. And your mum is incredibly proud of you too. Always.”
Scorpius knew that Draco was thinking about his own experiences and the pain of losing Astoria. He hugged his dad fiercely, putting everything he could never explain in words into the embrace. When they pulled away, Draco held onto his son’s hands with a gentle comforting squeeze.
“She would have really liked Albus,” Scorpius declared.
Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out the photo he always carried with him. It had been fingered and folded an immeasurable amount of times in the past months, as it was the only thing that had brought Draco comfort when Scorpius was missing. It was of the three of them the summer before Scorpius had started Hogwarts. They were in the garden of Malfoy Manor, laughing and hugging. Draco wished desperately that he could remember what they were laughing about.
“She would have absolutely adored him,” Draco agreed. “All she ever wanted was for your path to be better than what we had to deal with. She would have been thrilled.”
Scorpius tried not to dwell too much on the unfairness of losing his mum, but it was moments like these when he wished she was still here. She would have been so excited to hear about his boyfriend and would have invited the Potters over for dinner immediately. Although what was left of his family was small and he loved his dad with his whole heart, Scorpius was part of Albus’s family now too. He knew he was incredibly lucky to have found that, even if Albus would never understand how much it meant to him. They made him feel safe and accepted and that he belonged. Scorpius had never felt like he belonged anywhere much before.
Scorpius often had nightmares now. They would wake him in the middle of the night, his eyes wide and heart racing. But he had Albus, too. Albus, who would hold and comfort him, tucking Scorpius in with a gentle kiss to the forehead and staying with him until he succumbed to sleep once more. Sometimes they would wake up in the morning tangled together in the single bed, so close that Scorpius could feel Albus’s every heartbeat and hear his shallow breath. And that knowledge was what got him through the toughest days, when it felt like the darkness inside him was all consuming. It reminded him that even though the past haunted his dreams, it was this present that was real and now.