Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

John found the ring. Dick was never going to hear the end of it from Dami. 

Dick ran a hand through his hair and went to sit next to John on the bed. He let their shoulders knock together but that didn’t rouse John from his intent staring match with the simple silver band resting on his palm. 

When John didn’t say anything, Dick laid his head on John’s shoulder and looked over at the absolutely stunning painting John had brought back from Bermuda. Dick’s eyes traced the blues and purples of the sky, only briefly landing on the small ship sailing through the colours. He wondered if the ring lit up in a similar way to John’s sight. 

The band was simple but the magic surrounding it wasn’t, at least according to John in the future that wasn’t. He’d spent a very drunken night explaining all the protection magic worked into the metal and lamenting the ring’s loss in a hell-fire explosion of a rather strong and more than slightly evil mage. They’d spent the rest of the night and rather too much alcohol trying not to think of people who could have used the protection. 

Dick had remembered, one small detail among hundreds of thousands of others. He’d beaten the mage to the original trials for the ring and cheated shamelessly with future tricks and borrowed items from John’s own arsenal. Getting the ring had take much less time than Dick had anticipated, in all honestly. 

John finally stirred, slowly closing scarred fingers over the ring. “Is this the-” 

Dick waited but it seemed as if John didn’t want to finish the name. “Yup.”

“With the collapsing rock maze?”

“Not as tough as expected,” Dick said, quite truthfully.

“And the fire demon guardians?”

“So the magic sword you and Damian modified for me was maybe a little useful.”

John finally turned to look at him. “And the three trials of fucking Death?”

“Not a problem at all,” Dick replied with less honesty. He grinned though, because it had only been a couple broken bones and he was all healed now. 

“Huh.” John looked back at his closed hand.

“Any other questions?”

“No.” John took a deep breath. “Not from me.”

Dick hummed and reached over with a gentle touch, smoothing over John’s tight grasp and pulling the ring from his palm. Dick didn’t kneel or stand, simply took his free hand to John’s jaw, smoothing over a scar tucked just under his chin that the man had gotten by stepping in front of a blow meant for Dami.

“Marry me?” Dick asked, soft as starlight, sure as bone.

“Yeah, okay,” John said, breathing out the kind of breath that gets stuck deep in your lungs. He didn’t hesitate, though. “Guess I’d better.”

Dick kissed him once, lightly, then once again just to the side of his temple. He held their foreheads together as he slipped the ring onto John’s hand. John didn’t look at it there, instead immediately raising his arms to wrap around Dick’s neck while lowering his head to pass tightly into Dick’s shoulder. 

“Fuck.” 

Dick just smiled and let them stay like that until John pulled just slightly away to stare at him with deliberate intensity. 

“Can we elope? Or just start telling people about that time with the goddess?”

Dick laughed, finally standing and dragging John with him. He may have also spun John around a bit to which the man scowled. The scowl wasn’t half as grumpy as usual though and there were laugh lines at the corner of his eyes.  

“Not on your life,” Dick told John. “We need paperwork to be legally married anyways, regardless of what ancient magic says and, really, do you want the kids to restart the war?”

“I can take them.”

“As well as both Leagues, the Titans, and half the Gotham Rogues Gallery?” Dick ran his hands down John’s side to hook into his belt loops. “Look at it this way; We’re not going to have to plan a damn thing.”

John snorted, but Dick knew that was him giving in. That he didn’t really mind, mainly because it would make their family happy. 

“Fine, but you’re telling the lot.”

Dick would have agreed, he was just suddenly too busy being kissed to actually say the words. 

The Batfamily

Dick: Alright. 

Dick: I’m ready. 

Dick: Hit me with Plan Wedding Bells. 

Tim: …

Jason: …

Cass: :)

Steph: …

Alfred: Congratulations, Master Dick.

Dick: Thanks Alfie!

Barbara: Dick.  

Barbara: This isn’t the kind of thing you throw in the chat!

Dick: There are a lot of you. 

Dick: I’m not calling everyone and the next full family dinner isn’t for two days. 

Dick: I also need to tell both Leagues, the Titans, the Sirens, and various affiliated persons. 

Dick: And it’s not like it's a surprise. 

Barbara: Dick.

Dick: John’s maybe asleep on my shoulder. 

Damian: It’s about time, Baba.

Dick: Thanks, baby!

Damian: He found the ring, did he not?

Dick: …

Dick: Maybe.

Jason: Dick!

Jason: Really?

Dick: Baby Bat’s right.

Dick: I have no idea why more of you didn’t see this coming. 

Steph: I mean, that’s kinda fair.

Steph: Sort of a tangential step to the adoption thing?

Steph: Also my mom says congratulations and she’s buying the good cookies for your next tea so you’d better spill the details. 

Steph: Do I need to be concerned that you have gossip sessions with my mother?

Dick: Be concerned all you want, the sessions are still going to happen. 

Dick: :)

Jason: I call Best Man.

Jason: I can and will take Roy and Wally out. 

Jason: Donna and Kori would be harder, but Donna will want to be photographer anyways and Kori can be bribed with baby Robin photos.

Dick: Um.

Tim: Jay can have it.

Tim: I will be far too busy.

Tim: What are my parameters?

Dick: Timmy.

Tim: Parameters, Big Bird.

Dick: Sooner rather than later?

Dick: At the Manor. I really want to be married at home.

Dick: Plus, that makes security easier.

Dick: Capes, Cowls, and affiliated guest list. 

Dick: We can do a smaller public Richard Grayson-Wayne one later.

Dick: Or go with John’s elopement plan for that one. 

Jason: His what plan?

Dick: Relax, Little Wing.

Tim: I can work with that. 

Tim: Alfred, we’ll need the green binder and the Spring Series. 

Alfred: Right away, Master Timothy.

Alfred: I will have the samples prepared along with your after school snack.

Barbara: I have a meeting at the library but will be over as soon as I’m done.

Dick: Babs?

Barbara: We’ll have a couple of options set for you to view by the family dinner. 

Barbara: Also, for the record, Jason, I would have crushed you for Best Man.

Barbara: Except I’m already mostly through my certification. 

Dick: You’re going to officiate my wedding?

Babs: Of course, Boy Blunder. 

Constantine: Boy Blunder can’t talk right now.

Jason: Thought you were sleeping? 

Constantine: I was. 

Constantine: Until the tears started.

Constantine: And two hellions crawled into my bed. 

Steph: So that’s where Cass and Dami went. 

Steph: Wondered why they were so quiet.

Alfred: Welcome to the family, Master John. 

Steph: One of us!

Jason: Suppose Big Bird could have done worse. 

Constantine: …

Constantine: Thanks, luvs. 

A Stabby Orange, a Circus Brat, and one Sane-ish Man 

Dick: You may attend my wedding if you promise not to stab anyone.

Dick: Including annoying heroes. 

Slade: Who says I want to come?

Wintergreen: I’ll have the children make sure he’s on his best behaviour. 

Dick: Thanks!

Dick: You’re also invited, to be clear. 

Dick: Though I understand if you don’t want to be on Slade-watch.

Slade: Brat.

Slade: Still not saying I’m going. 

Dick: Hey, at least I didn’t call it babysitting!

Wintergreen: I would be honoured to attend. 

Dick: Aw. 

Wintergreen: I’m sure the children and I will be happy to provide Slade with highlights if he continues to be stubborn. 

Slade: Bastard.

Slade: Fucking fine. 

Dick: I’ll let Timmy know!

Dick: And also no shooting, maiming, or killing of any sort! 

Slade: Fucking damnit. 

Private

Constantine: Hey, any interest in being my Best Man/Maid/Whatever?

Zatanna: What?!

Zatanna: I mean yes, absolutely, I’d curse anyone else who tried to do it.

Zatanna: But what?

Constantine: Cool.

Constantine: I’ll let Tim know.

Zatanna: John.

Zatanna: Where are you? Are you at home?

Zatanna: I’m coming over.

Zatanna: Also congrats! 

Constantine: Thanks. 

Constantine: And I’m currently in Egypt avoiding the Bats.

Zatanna: Fair.

Zatanna: I’ll bring alcohol.

Constantine: And that’s why you’re Best Whatever. 

Titans, Occasionally Babysitters

Dick: So I did a thing. 

Donna: Are we going to space in the next twelve hours?

Gar: Ooh. 

Gar: Or the Amazon? 

Gar: I love the Amazon. 

Kori: Will we be needing weapons? 

Kori: Or perhaps cameras?

Roy: I’m watching nature documentaries with Lian.

Roy: Better be a big thing if I need to find a sitter. 

Dick: A sitter isn’t necessary. 

Dick: It’s more of a distant thing. 

Dick: And she’s invited at the distant thing. 

Wally: Ohmygod.

Rae: Congratulations. 

Gar: ?

Gar: Did he defeat another supervillain on his own again?

Gar: At least he didn’t antagonize another cult leader. 

Gar: Rae wouldn’t congratulate him for that.

Roy: Better not have. 

Roy: I will sit on you for the next lecture, Dickhead.

Dick: Also not necessary. 

Rae: Zatanna and I were investigating a curse.

Rae: I’m finishing up because she needs to track down some mystical alcohol of celebration.

Rae: She’s very proud of her grumpy misanthrope, apparently. 

Dick: That’s fair. 

Dick: It was pretty hard to get John to socialize. 

Dick: I’ll send him along to the House of Mysteries once he’s back. 

Donna: Dick.

Dick: Donna. 

Donna: Do not make me fly over there. 

Dick: …  

Dick: I’m getting married!

Kori: The most wonderful of news!

Kori: May you provide each other the bones of your enemies for many fortuitous years!

Dick: Thanks, Kor.

Gar: Congrats, dude.

Gar: Wally says the same.

Gar: I think. 

Gar: Kind of hard to hear through the crying.

Wally: Mybestfriendsgettingmarried! 

Wally: Ohmygod.

Wally: Icallbestman. 

Roy: You. 

Roy: Me.

Roy: Parking lot. 

Donna: Ahem. 

Donna: And I’m happy for you, Boy Wonder.

Dick: Thanks, D.

Dick: Roy, Wally, Jason’s already challenged you both.  

Dick: 3pm this Saturday in the Warehouse Training Centre.

Dick: Donna, Tim wanted to talk you about photography. 

Donna: Acceptable.

Donna: You’re going to have badass photos. 

Donna: Beautiful and touching and badass. 

Dick: I’d expect nothing less. 

Kori: Tim has already reached out!

Kori: My incentive for staying neutral in the upcoming battle trials is particularly adorable. 

Dick: Again, I’d expect nothing less.

Wally: Yeah, the kid works fast. 

Wally: You’re going down Royboy.

Rae: You okay, Dick?

Dick: Yes? 

Donna: Good question. 

Donna: You sometimes catastrophize when you’re happy. 

Dick: … 

Dick: I’m so fucking happy. 

Dick: It’s bloody terrifying. 

Wally: Fuck Saturday. 

Wally: Need me there now? 

Roy: Ollie will totally babysit. 

Dick: I’m currently buried in assassin babies. 

Dick: Lunch tomorrow? 

Dick: At the Tower? 

Rae: We’ll be there. 

Kori: With the most welcoming of warm hugs. 

Dick: I love you guys. 

Roy: Getting married doesn’t mean you have to bring that sappy shit over here. 

Roy: But I guess you’re marginally adequate.

Roy: For a dumb-ass. 

Success: Batman Communicated an Emotion

Dick: You’re presence is requested!

Dick: On some as of yet unknown date.

Dick: Timmy will get back to you with the details. 

Oliver: For what?

Hal: New mission?

Barry: No.

Barry: Really? 

Barry: Who won the bet?

Barry: I mean, congratulations! 

Barry: But who won the bet?

Oliver: Which bet?

J’onn: You have my most heartfelt well-wishes.

J’onn: I look forward to the ceremony. 

Dick: Aw, thanks Uncle J! 

Dick: The ceremony’s going to be at the Manor. 

Dick: Only thing I insisted on, really. 

Dick: Want it to be at home, you know?

J’onn: Indeed.

J’onn: You deserve nothing less. 

Hal: Wait.

Hal: The engagement bet?

Hal: Congratulations Dickie!

Hal: But yeah, who won?

Diana: Congratulations nephew mine!

Diana: Please let me know if I can be any assistance. 

Dick: Will do!

Dick: Or rather, I’ll pass it along to Timmy.

Dick: He’s really taken over the wedding planning with gusto.

Dick: I think we found a new and viable profession for the kid.

Bruce: Wedding? 

Dick: …

Dick: You read this before the family chat, didn’t you?

Dick: I’ve tried to call you nine times!

Clark: Congratulations Dickie!

Clark: And sorry, I stole B for a surprise run to Space.

Clark: Good news! No incoming war. 

Clark: Bad news, we had no reception.

Dick: Fair enough.

Dick: Also, I’ve got to go. 

Dick: B appeared at my window, torn suit and all.

Dick: I think he needs a hug. 

Dinah: We’re all very proud of you, kiddo.

Dinah: But the boys are right.

Dinah: Who won the bet?

Tim: Damian.

Tim: With the ultra specific bet of Dick getting a magic ring but flubbing the actual proposal and therefore just randomly asking John in their own damn home. With a timeline of before the second Arkham breakout of the spring but after Condiment King destroyed three sets of Nightwing suits this year. 

Tim: We’re awarding partial victory to Donna, Wally, and Clark for calling Dick proposing but messing it up.

Barry: Clark!

Diana: How cruel, my friend.

Diana: Betting that your own nephew would make such a mistake!

Clark: I didn’t bet he would flub it!

Clark: Just that he’d get a little overexcited and something would happen. 

Hal: Dude.

Clark: :)

Tim: Jay also gets partial for betting John proposing an elopement.

Tim: But that’s not happening. 

Tim: Your roles are as follows. 

“I could give you a better hug if you took off the armour,” Dick told his dad. Bruce grunted but didn’t let go. Dick kind of wanted to laugh but thought this probably wasn’t quite the right time. Instead, he simply buried closer. It wasn’t like had no experience with avoiding pointy edges of costumes in order to achieve maximum level hugs. 

Eventually, though, he pulled back. “Come on, dad. I think I stole some of your comfy clothes the last time I was at the Manor. Let's watch old spy movies in our pyjamas and plot all the ways we could both defeat the villain faster and take over the world more efficiently in the first place.”

Damian also always enjoyed that and he and Cass would be back from the store soon. 

Bruce let Dick step out of the hug but cupped Dick’s face in armoured gauntlets, looking down with dark, clear eyes. 

“I love you,” Bruce said.

Dick smiled, perhaps a little helplessly. “I love you, too, B.”

“And I’m proud of you.”

Dick nodded, not quite sure what to say. 

Bruce tilted his head. “And I’m looking forward to adding John to our family, officially.”

Dick was maybe starting to tear up. Damnit, Bruce. “I think you’re supposed to tell that to John.”

“Okay.”

Dick blinked and made a mental note to tell John to expect an awkward conversation. Not that he wasn’t already expecting it, which was probably why John was currently in Egypt. 

“Whatever you need,” Bruce continued. 

Dick sighed, ignoring Bruce’s temporary alarm at the sound to grab him by the wrist and start dragging him to the fortified part of the apartment where they stashed all the gear and Bruce could leave the fucking Batsuit. 

“I know. Thanks, B. But I think Timmy’s got it covered. He’s sent me four separate emails looking for confirmations of colour, guest lists, and basically an entire planned wedding. We need to revaluate that kid’s sleep schedule.”

Bruce caught up to Dick and placed a heavy yet gentle arm across his shoulders. He was smiling, too.

When John came back several hours later, sand still in his hair, he walked into the living room and put his hands on his hips. 

“It’s not like I’m stealing you away. We’re not even fucking moving.” Still, John whispered. 

Dick smiled from where he was leaning against Bruce’s leg. Bruce was fast asleep on the couch, Damian sprawled on his stomach and Tim tucked into his side. Babs was napping on Dick’s shoulder while Jay was sprawled out with his head on Dick’s leg. The movie was muted with subtitles, only a distractedly waving Steph still watching until Cass came in, holding a large bowl overflowing with popcorn. 

Cass grabbed John’s wrist as she walked by, showing him onto the couch next to Steph, who promptly threw her legs over his lap and stole the popcorn bowl. Cass perched on the arm of the couch next to her even as John huffed.

John wasn’t exactly within easy reach but Dick reached up. John, like always, reached back.

“Welcome home.”

Chapter Text

Gotham Crazy

Harley Quinn: You lot remember what you need to do?

Penguin: Perfectly, my dear.

Riddler: You’ve only told us every day for the last month.

Riddler: It’s not like it’s even a challenge. 

Poison Ivy: I disagree. 

Poison Ivy: Meeting expectations is always a challenge for you. 

Mr. Freeze: We’ll keep it cool. 

Riddler: Don’t.

Harley Quinn: You’d better!

Harley Quinn: Or we’ll smash ya!

Mad Hatter: It would be foolish to cause trouble now, anyways.

Mad Hatter: The Bats have been…

Penguin: Exuberant?

Riddler: On top of their game?

Clayface: Mother fucking ruthless?

Mad Hatter: Fucking crazy. 

Catwoman: If you ruin my kitten’s wedding the Bats will be the least of your problems. 

Harley Quinn: Damn straight!

Poison Ivy: Agreed.

Penguin: Yes, yes. 

Penguin: Pass on our best wishes.

Penguin: They’ll need them for when the grace period is up.

Riddler: I, for one, am using my time to create new riddles!

Clayface: What a shock.

Riddler: We need to test the newest bird! 

Mr. Freeze: He passes. 

Penguin: Not all of us are stopped by a simple fire.

Mr. Freeze: Simple?!

Mr. Freeze: There were animals of flame!

Poison Ivy: You realize Magic Boy passed all the Bat’s tests, right?

Harley Quinn: Hahahaha.

Harley Quinn: He had to get Batsy’s permission to marry his first son!

Catwoman: The Birds were worse. 

Catwoman: I have photographic evidence. 

Clayface: …

Riddler: I admit, 

Riddler: That might have been a challenge.

Mr. Freeze: Oh dear. 

Penguin: I will agree to one extra day for the grace period. 

Penguin: One. 

“You nervous?” John asked as he sat next to Dick on the Manor’s roof. John threw his legs over the edge and Dick shifted so he rested one of his knees, folded up to sit cross-legged, against John’s thigh.

“Only that someone’s going to set Bruce’s mom’s roses on fire.”

John turned to study the milling forms of their friends and family as they finished setting up for the wedding that day. Bruce and Zatanna had gone all out on the cloaking technology and obfuscation spells, which meant that powers were liberally being used. 

There’d been a few close calls. 

Dick would probably have interceded, particularly in the water fight that had originated in watering said roses, but had been told in no uncertain terms to relax and stay out of it. They were both even trying to listen, if only because the threats were creative enough that John was planning to print and frame some of the best. Steph and Damian had untied for some truly posh masterpieces and Dick would get a kick out of adding them to the wall of photos in their apartment. 

John hummed and handed Dick a steaming mug.

“The headache tea?” Dick asked. 

“It’s tradition,” was John’s bland reply. 

Dick tilted his head. “You nervous?” 

“Nah.” John smiled, a small, genuine thing that wasn’t actually an expression he’d known he could make. “Just do me a favour.”

“Anything,” Dick said simply. He also reached out to brush against John’s skin, just below his ear. His fingertips came back slightly red.They’d be using their enforced downtime wisely and had been rather successfully chipping away at their Time Travel To Fix List. 

“If this isn’t real, don’t ever tell me.”

Dick paused, hand still on John’s face, before uncurling enough to press fully into John’s side. There were many things Dick should probably say to that. More things that John understood that Dick would never say to that. 

They both knew this was real. They both checked on either a weekly or monthly basis, depending on how well they were dealing with shit at any given time. But that really wasn’t the point.

“As long as you agree to the same,” Dick said, instead. 

John rested his head on top of Dick’s. He breathed in deep and slow and forcefully settled each limb and each bone. John found the processes easier than it had ever been. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Dick whispered.

John knew he would keep this deal to the end of time and back. 

***

The moment before Dick was to be married, he didn’t look at John. Instead, he looked out at the guests sitting in the fading light. He looked at the magic lights strung around the Manor grounds, casting new meaning to fairy lights and new beauty to the roses. He looked at streaks of colour across the sky, reds and pinks that, unlike the future that wasn’t, didn’t remind Dick of blood and pain but rather love and warmth. 

Dick looked at Damian, as regal as he’d ever been, watching over the world’s safest wedding rings. He looked at Cass, beautiful in her suit, standing in front of a dashing Jason and slightly pouty Wally and Roy, having thrashed them utterly in their competition for Best Man. He looked at Steph, sitting with her mother and Alfred in the front row, smiling real and true and bright. He looked at Tim, calm and smug and every inch the commander he was, even on the battlefield of wedding planning. 

Dick looked at Bruce, pride visible in every line of the man’s face. 

Dick looked at the Titans and the Justice League, sitting mixed throughout the crowd. J’onn and Rae were watching Kori to make sure she didn’t float off in happiness. Again. Donna was handing a tissue to her sister, Dianna happily accepting. Lois wasn’t bothering with a tissue, just patting Clark on the shoulder. Little Jon was sitting on Konner’s lap, both of them crying silently, just like their father. 

Slade was pretending to look grumpy, but was really a little awed with the way both his children were leaning on his arms. He was also a little smug at the sideways looks he kept getting from many of the heroes. Though not the Sirens. Selena looked like that cat that got the creme, the canary, and the mouse besides. Harley was loudly cooing even as she refused to be separated from an indulgent Pamela.

Zatanna was tearing up from where she stood next to Joh in an elegant dress and jauntily angled mini top hat. She matched perfectly with Dick’s suit and John’s jacket. Which wasn’t a suit but also wasn’t a trench coat. The jacket was long and covered with stunning embroidered spellwork that had John almost tearing up when Zatanna had given it to him.

Dick wasn’t crying. He wasn’t even close. He kind of felt like laughing, actually, laughing and dancing and cackling on the graves of several notable and not so notable villains. This felt like victory. Like a moment to anchor him, a moment to return to no matter how far he flew or how far he fell. A moment where all his friends and family were safe and alive and happy for him. 

A moment he’d protect with everything he had. 

Dick turned to Barbara, tall and standing and always by his side. She smiled and made a gesture that told Dick to get on with it, Boy Wonder. He smiled back because this was one of the easiest vows he’d ever have to make. 

“This is enough.”

Dick smiled as he let the silence stretch as the confusion rippled through his friends and family. Dick was the loquacious one, the sappy one, the one with the overwhelming declarations of love. 

A spark of dark amusement and fierce brilliance flashed in John’s eyes because John got it. John had been at Dick’s side when nothing had been enough. Not any possible words. Not the quiet times where things were just barely okay. Not their efforts to save those they loved. Not anything about the world around them. 

John understood. 

But Dick was the one with all the words and he wanted their friends and family to understand as well.  

He reached out for John’s hands, fingertips tracing familiar patterns over familiar scars. 

“It’s enough because of you, because of what you’ve done and what you’ve given me. This is enough,” Dick repeated.  

Dick squeezed John’s hands, politely ignoring the red on the man’s cheeks that they’d both known was going to be there. John wasn’t really the public declarations in front of people type, but he loved their family and he loved Dick and Dick would never need to look beyond this moment for proof. 

“I need you to know that it’s enough. That if one or both of us dies tomorrow, if a villain succeeds or I miss-time a leap, if a curse blows up in your face or a stray bus comes around the corner, then I’m good. I’ll be beside you like always but I’m good. Everything is good. This moment is worth everything and every moment from now on, living or dying or somewhere in between, is an unbelievable boon. A gift beyond my wildest imaginings, a reality-” and here Dick gave John a pointed look, “worth living for. Worth protecting. 

“I’ll protect you, John, and adore you. I’ll let you do the same for me. And we’ll do the same for our family and all the moments we’d never thought we’d have.”

John blinked once, slowly, before giving a wry grin that didn’t hide near as much as he probably thought it should.

“I broke time for you. I’m really not sure what more you could possibly want from me.”

Which was a lie. Dick knew how hard it was for John to stop sleeping in safe houses. To return to the House of Mysteries. To add a painting in their apartment like he had the right. To start reaching out for Dami instead of panicking that this kid trusted him. To love the other kids and let them see the mugs and blankets and protections he’d gotten just for them. To invite Zatanna to dinner that he’d actually cooked. To let Garfield and Raven trail him like fascinated little ducklings. 

Dick knew that John wouldn’t have been able to even try if it wasn’t something Dick wanted. If John couldn’t pretend for even a moment that he was doing this for Dick, even if the truth was a much more complicated swirl of fact and fiction and desire and fear. 

“Everything,” Dick told him, because it was true. He wanted everything.

John huffed. “Yeah, okay. Everything.” 

And Dick thought that was it, that was all the words John would have and Dick loved each and every one. But John pulled on Dick’s hands when Dick went to turn to Babs. 

“I’ve never had this,” John said quietly. “I never though I could, even before the bad got worse and nightmares were the only escape. Thank you for finding the time to take me with you, over and over again. To teach me what hope fucking meant. For saving me.”

John tilted his head before nodding slightly. “Yeah, thank you for saving me.”

Dick didn’t actually hear the words Babs said to pronounce them married, nor the sobbing and happy exclamations of his friends and family. He felt them, though. Felt them in the faint tremble to John’s hands as he cupped Dick’s face and kissed him. 

Dick kissed back for a timeless moment before throwing back his head and letting his laughter fly free.  

The Batfamily

Steph: Did we just meet a goddess?

Tim: Yup.

Steph: Huh. 

Jason: Dickhead. 

Jason: Dickhead, get your ass back here.

Jason: What did she mean ‘not satisfied with my previous blessing’ ?!?!

Barbara: I imagine exactly what it sounds like.

Tim: Okay, but my event was better.

Cass: Sweet.

Barbara: Agreed.

Barbara: I think that a goddess of Hearth and Home calling the service ‘sweet’ means that your wedding planning skills have also been blessed.

Tim: …

Tim: Acceptable. 

Jason: None of this is acceptable!

Jason: Old man!

Jason: Where’s the pearl clutching?!

Bruce: It seems a little redundant now.

Bruce: Though I am getting the full story from the goddess. 

Bruce: Diana brought Themyscirian wine and the two are getting quite talkative. 

Damian: It could be worse. 

Steph: I’m afraid to ask. 

Damian: They could have failed the mission that caught the goddess’ attention. 

Damian: And been cursed instead. 

Jason: For fucks sake. 

Jason: Fine.

Jason: But I’m still giving them shit for portalling out after telling us nothing. 

Barbara: Again, 

Barbara: Agreed. 

Cass: :)

Private

Alfred: The chaos has settled down, Master Dick.

Alfred: You will be in for a reckoning upon your return, I’m sure. In the meantime, please enjoy your honeymoon. The family will return to the previous agreement of not contacting you continuously. 

Dick: Thanks Alfie!

Dick: I mean, I’ll believe it when I see it about the messages. 

Dick: But thanks! 

Alfred: You are most welcome. 

Alfred: Enjoy, my dear boy.

***

To John

Private

Zatanna: Where did we keep the water-proof undead sealing spells again?

Zatanna: Just curious. 

Private

Beast Boy: The House of Mysteries is doing great!

Beast Boy: But, uh.

Beast Boy: Just wondering. 

Beast Boy: Was there always a cupboard on the third floor that glows whenever you walk by it?

Private

Raven: I apologize for disturbing you. 

Raven: How many zombies constitute a ‘concerning’ number?

Private

Damian: I see from the security logs you have retrieved demonic weaponry from storage locker 12B. 

Damian: Please return in the condition you departed.

Damian: I will accept cursed blades as adequate souvenirs. 

Private

Jason: The spelled accelerant was fucking fantastic.

Jason: Thanks.

Private

Zatanna: I raided the cupboard in the House of Mysteries. 

Zatanna: Super helpful undead-defeating armoury you’ve been building there. 

Zatanna: Something you want to tell me?

Private

Stephanie: Dami says you’re bringing him back a cursed blade.

Stephanie: I would like to put in my request for cursed jewelry. 

Stephanie: For no particular reason. 

Private

Bruce: Everything is fine.

Bruce: Do not let Dick come home early, no matter what the kids say. 

Bruce: Enjoy yourselves. 

***

To Dick

Private

Dami: Everything is fine. 

Dami: We are performing admirably. 

Dami: I perhaps miss you the slightest amount but am keeping occupied.

Private

Bruce: Everything is fine. 

Private

Dami: The mercenary has proposed a field trip with my sword training. 

Dami: We will be back before your return. 

Private

Jason: My Superfriend is the best!

Jason: Bizarro says hi. 

Private

Clark: Lois and Ma love Bizarro.

Clark: And Bizarro really loves the sheep.

Clark: But, uh. 

Clark: Anyone else I need to be worried about?

Private

Slade: Fine.

Slade: The Demon Brat ain’t that bad. 

Slade: Talia says your training ain’t shit. 

Private

Bruce: I have everything handled. 

Private

Roy: So. 

Roy: Do you remember that planet in the Roam galaxy?

Roy: How did we get me out of that engagement again?

Roy: I don’t really want to join you in wedded bliss. 

Private

Barbara: I found your secret bunker of mob money.

Barbara: Or one of them. I somehow now think there’s more.

Barbara: I borrowed some of it. 

Barbara: Girl’s Night Out got a little rowdy. 

Private

Black Canary: You were right.

Black Canary: The Bat girls are awesome, as are the Sirens. 

Black Canary: Have fun, kid. 

Private

Jason: The explosion wasn’t my fault.

Private 

Bruce: Don’t believe the kids if they say it’s not fine. 

Bruce: We love you. 

Private

Timmy: I’m sorry to bother you. 

Timmy: It’s not really important.

Timmy: Can totally wait till after the honeymoon. 

Timmy: Just how did you know you also liked guys? 

Timmy: There’s a new kid in my class and he’s maybe kind of cute. 

Private

Kori: I hope you are having much fun or your holiday of travels!

Kori: We are also taking a trip to the coast!

Kori: There is no honey of the moons, though. 

Kori: I believe that we have convinced the Roam that Roy is not ready for such a commitment. 

Kori: New friend Bizarro is an excellent flier!

Private

Cass: Rose friend now.

Cass: :)

Cass: <3

Private

Jason: That explosion wasn’t my fault either. 

Jason: Or Bizarro’s.

Private

Bruce: It’s still fine.

***

The Justice League sat around a large meeting table. Batman was absent but Superman and Wonder Woman sat on either side of his usual place. Black Canary, Green Arrow, and Flash sat on one side of the table. Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern, and Zatanna sat on the other. 

“Must we?” Asked Superman, resigned.

“Dude,” Green Lantern replied. “We totally must.”

“I’m afraid I find myself in agreement.” Martian Manhunter really did look apologetic. “I do not see how we can resolve this situation on our own.”

“This situation?” Green Arrow crossed his arms as Zatanna snorted. “Try situations, plural.”

Black Canary patted his arm. 

Wonder woman simply typed a number into the computer in front of her and gestured to Superman. 

“What? Why me?”

The rest of the League just looked at him. The man of steel pouted. 

“Fine.” Superman reached over and hit enter. The dial tone sounded throughout the room. Wonder Woman had put the call on speaker. 

“Hi, Uncle S!” A cheery voice picked up, shortly followed by a close up video of a grinning face partially blacked by a domino.

“Nightwing,” Superman greeted. “How’s the honeymoon?”

“Oh, fantastic!”

Several of the League members winced. 

“What can I do for you, Uncle S?” Nightwing asked, possibly a bit knowingly. 

“We have a situation, a few situations, we could use some… advice on.”

“Situations?”

“Oh for-” Green Lantern leaned forward. “Nightingale and Slade have started a war with the League of Assassins. The new Batgirl and Ravager are either assisting or waging their own separate battle. We really don’t know. Batman is running around the globe looking for them, which means he left Gotham to the original Batgirl, Robin, Spoiler. Also possibly to a group of rogues called the Sirens. It’s hard to tell through all the glitter.”

“Red Hood and a group of the Titans have been blowing up the eastern coast, something about drug lines and possibly alien royalty. They also have a friendly flying giant that bears an interesting resemblance to Superman helping them out. The rest of the Titans are too busy to comment, something about space issues and training newbies and are they a fucking school now.” Green Arrow sounded exasperated, which was fair, because Red Arrow was totally causing chaos with Hood. 

“And then there’s the Zombie apocalypse.” All eyes turned to Zatanna, who shrugged. “Maybe. Still working on that but there have been some concerning signs. And, well, you two apparently have experience in the at least tangentially related skeleton-necromancy field.”

“Huh,” Nightwing replied after a moment when no one else added to commentary and Superman refused to meet his eyes. “Hey, Husband-mine.”

“How long are you going to call me that?” asked a slightly distorted voice. 

“Oh, a while yet. We almost done?” 

The screen flickered as Nightwing swung the device around, revealing a grainy picture of Constantine that still perfectly showed his very singed coat. And red skies. 

“Where are you?” Superman asked slowly. 

“Hell,” Nightwing said. “I think.”

“Eh, small subsection.” Constantine showed up behind him, resting his chin on Nightwing’s shoulder. “Honeymoon over?”

“Yup. Potential zombie apocalypse. And B lost like half the children.”

“Hm. How long has it been up there?”

Superman blinked and Wonder Woman answered. “Thirteen days.”

Constantine snorted. “You owe me thirty bucks, luv. Told ya they wouldn’t make it two weeks.”

“Nuh uh! This,” and Nightwing waved a just visible hand at the Hell Subsection and several bodies the League could see lying around through the small screen, “was entirely your fault. That brings me down at least to ten.”

“Buy me something frozen topside and we’ll call it even. I hate this stupid heat.”

“I hope you know how many options that gives me,” Nightwing told him.

Constantine snorted. “I know how unnaturally fond of ice cream you are. I’ll take my chances.”

“Thank fuck,” Green Lantern said, forehead dropping to the table with a thump.

“We’re very sorry to disturb you,” Superman told his nephew. 

Nightwing smirked. “I’d bet less than week, so really, you didn’t do too bad.” He turned to Constantine, tugging on his sleeve. “Time to go home?”

Constantine smiled. “Time to go home.”