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Upon opening my eyes, I saw the usual scenery of Iwatodai station. The different thing from the usual, however, is that I couldn’t sense anything at all.
All I could do, was stand silently and observe everything around me.
‘Ryouji’…is gone. And I, am also gone.
My body was still laying there, next to ‘Ryouji’. Yet my mind remained here, on this island. So annoying… Even worse, I might have to see them every day.
And I couldn’t stand that thought at all. Even though it is a pill that is hard to swallow, I realized how tight the bond between me and everyone in S.E.E.S had become.
If only I didn’t get along with anyone, then both me and others wouldn’t have to endure this kind of feeling.
Ryouji, Aigis, everyone…
Makoto is sorry to you all.
———————————————
The first day after my mind was restored.
All the colors were drained out of my view. It was as if there was a flood flushed through, and the thing it wiped out was the colors that I used to have.
White, grey, black. They weren’t any color at all. The scenery around me was like sinking into ashes.
I walked out of the pavement. No longer being bound by flesh, my ‘body’ now became one with air. I could walk on the ground, but with just a hop, I could stop at the top of a light pole, or a tree branch, then hop, there I was, on a canopy outside the window of a house’s third floor.
It felt like I was on the moon. The gravity there is only 1/6 in comparison to here.
For some reason, I started to walk the opposite direction to the school. A building nearby had a digital screen, showing the time.
「09:48 AM | July 12th, 2011」
Has it been over a year already?
That meant other than Fuuka, others had already graduated then. I felt a bit relieved. If I suddenly have to face someone in S.E.E.S at the moment, I don’t know how my feelings would work out for me. My mind suddenly got lighter, like my body. I didn’t want to care about anything anymore. The dead couldn’t be revived, and I was the dead. Just simply as that.
Wandering and wandering, I returned to the sakura tree near the Iwatodai station once again, when the Moon was illuminating brightly on top of my head.
My ‘first day’ went by in silence and tranquility just like that.
———————————————
July 25th, 2011.
Only until today did I realize a few odd things. Even though being in this state, I still had breathing, pulse, heartbeat, and the senses still remained there: I could see, hear, and feel everything around me if I focused enough and didn’t let someone hit me. Well, hitting is an exaggeration, it’s more like they would go through my body, but at those times, I would lose all my senses and the indefinite gravity would go straight from 1/6 to a whole 1. The first time someone went through me, the change of gravity made me fall down hard, but slowly I managed to understand what happened, fumbly stood up, and ran to the other side of the road so as not to collide with such invisible interactions.
There was one more thing: my music player was still with me. Its playlist hadn’t changed in the slightest. Putting on the headphones, it felt like I had gone back to the old times.
Dusk casted down upon the island. I sat on the signboard of an old bookstore, swaying my legs in rhythm.
The familiar grey shade covered the entire scenery as usual, then it turned into black like ink when the night fell.
I tried to imagine the colors in my previous world, something that no longer existed to the current me.
Maybe, after the day I died, the S.E.E.S members might have also seen the shades that I’m seeing right now.
Enveloping the sky reflected in my eyes was the blurry ‘colors’ of the wounds that could never heal.
———————————————
August 7th, 2011.
Even though the feeling was not truly transparent, I could still feel how hot today was. The summer solstice had gone by a long time ago, but the atmosphere remained suffocating.
There was no sign of people on the road due to the scorching sunlight. The cicada’s noises were deafening, ringing loudly in my ears.
I used to dream, dream about everyday being a holiday. However, if that dream came true, it would be painful. The freedom of the endless holiday that I dreamt of, couldn’t be called true freedom.
I put on my headphones, turned on the usual song that I kept listening to. Its chorus echoed through the cushions, sank into the choir of cicadas, poured into my ears the familiar yet unfamiliar melody. Suddenly, I could visualize my dream on that summer day back then.
That’s right. If I wished for something and got it, I would lose something else. Despite never having the courage to utter into words…deep in me, I still longed for friends and family. I got them, then lost them.
Now, I couldn’t even have any other things, nor lose anything. It’s like living in a lengthened, perpetual dream; a dream that tomorrow was exactly the same as today.
———————————————
September 5th, 2011.
When the cicada’s sounds faded, it was time for a new semester.
The streets became crowded once again. After a moment of hesitation, I decided to go to school. Well, just the school gate, since going inside is going to be a real hassle.
As usual, I stood at a corner, listening to all kinds of stories from the students passing by. The only different thing was that now I’m no longer limited by the ringing bells anymore.
“Hey hey, did you know? Our school is gonna have a group of students from another school over for a tour!”
“So we’re going to have an exchange between the two schools?”
“No I think…I heard that they’re gonna come over during our off days, there will be only our student council at school. Well, it’s not like we should care about them, that school is somewhere in the suburban area…Yasoinaba or Yasogami or something?”
“Chihiro-san seems to put all of her attention into this event. After taking the position of the student council’s President, she truly works hard for everything. Gosh, if only she has time to date…”
“Stop day-dreaming~”
…Yasogami?
I had heard of this name before. Certainly. But where? When? Why did it exist in my memory?
Those questions were stuck in my mind without any way to be solved.
———————————————
September 8th, 2011.
Today, I woke up surrounded by a pure white space. Everything around me had disintegrated into the thin air. Everything, all empty.
“Hey.”
...?
I turned back, facing towards the call. In front of me was someone with a tall figure, wearing a black cloak and hood, along with the pocket watch dangling on the necklace around their neck. The person silently bowed at me in full respect, then took off the hood, revealing their messy black hair.
The moment our eyes met, my heart jumped. This person, is somehow similar to Ryouji, but not entirely…
I realized it now. It’s the existence of [death]. However, there’s a familiar feeling emitted from this person. After all…
“I’m Zen, Chronos’ fragment. My mission is to lead the souls of people whose time is up. Do you still remember your name?”
“…Yuuki Makoto. If you’re here, that means my time is up huh?”
Zen shook his head, stood still at that place and stared at me in silence.
Then in a blink, he disappeared.
All of a sudden, the entire world around me was filled with colors. My body reflexively flinched at the unusual change, then I turned here and there, trying to understand what was even happening.
This place was not Gekkoukan High, but it was obviously a school. The corridor that I was standing in was boisterous, full of noises. Classrooms were filled with decorations. There were booths of games, snacks, etc.
Cultural festival. Yasogami High.
What have I forgotten? Who have I forgotten?
「Meeting makes us people become stronger」
「Don’t worry, I will protect you」
「We’ll meet again, one day…」
And then in just a blink of an eye once again, I’m back to the white space.
“You’ve remembered.”
“Zen, you’re still alive… I’m glad.”
“It’s not really [Alive]. But yes, I’m here. There’s that. Rei... has gone, but the last words she said to me before disappearing was [Please live].”
“You know, humans are a greedy creature.”
“Saying that while sobbing like crazy, yet you still look cool huh.”
“Ahaha…”
That’s right, my tears have been streaming down my face nonstop. The memories of those days flooded back to me. The promise that he and I made that day hadn’t been carried out yet. More like, it couldn't be done anymore?
…Because I’m dead after all.
“「Anyone could have changed someone else」. 「Anyone could have saved someone’s life」. You guys have changed mine and Rei’s [life]. So now it’s time for me to repay the favor.”
“…?”
“You’ve realized it, right? Your [alive] time has ended long ago, but your time in this current state is endless. Everyone’s memories of the school that Philei created, like those people at the Velvet Room said, shouldn’t be able to exist in the real world. But, since I’m a part of Chronos, so long as the definition of [time] exists, I could reach it. The [World] you’re in, though it’s not totally the same as that place, but there still are similarities. That’s why I could meet you again, and return these memories to you.
“Then… about him…”
“That person still has a lot of time, so those memories can’t come back yet.”
“You’re right.”
I wiped away the tears with my sleeve. Truly the worst. What am I even expecting?
“For some reasons, after Philei passed away, I’ve managed to save myself from the curse of the God of Time. Why do you think I'm here, right before you?”
Zen smiled.
“By that, you mean?”
“The promise between you and that person that day, let me help you finish it.”
“!”
———————————————
September 9th, 2011.
I woke up early to get ready for the trip. Tiptoeing down the stairs so as not to wake up Nanako, I mentally checked the schedule of the trip in the upcoming days.
When I was in my first year, in Hibari, my old school had never arranged an exchange trip like this. I got a bit curious. Chie said Yasogami High had never had such a trip of school exchange before as well, not to mention a school in the city. Yousuke was just the same as always, being all excited since hearing the announcement and talking nonstop about the plan until we reached the destination.
Closing the refrigerator door after taking out the pre-made sandwich from yesterday, I saw the toy Nanako left next to the sink - the magnifying glass with speaker attached in the shape of the detective assistant in “Magical Detective Loveline”.
This time, the trip has students from all 3 years joining. That means, we would totally meet that princely detective - Shirogane Naoto. Despite not knowing the truth behind the Midnight Channel, that kid still managed to find clues all by himself. He just transferred to Yasogami High recently, becoming my lower classman. There’s barely any time to even make friends, yet he’s already having to go on a field trip, I hope he can handle it well. Maybe we should ask him to hang out with us. I think others in our group wouldn’t mind.
For some reason, I feel like this trip is going to be special, though I currently couldn’t fathom what’s waiting ahead of me.
———————————————
The train station became livelier than ever due to the boisterous students. Everyone in the Investigation Team all fully gathered. After the usual good mornings, we boarded the train to the Gekkoukan High.
Leaning my back against the seat by the window, I read out loud the pre-given schedule to Yousuke. His face is truly amusing. Just a second ago it was still lit up like a bonfire, but once he heard the schedule it became a wet towel almost immediately. Chie also started to whine about how boring the schedule is, and then talk about our homeroom teacher again.
That’s how it is. Just the day before, we were still in the ‘Midnight Channel’ struggling with a serial killer - who took our homeroom teacher’s life away from us, yet now we’re on the train, living the casual school life just like the others. Investing and solving cases, or going on a field trip, they’re all reality anyway. I’m experiencing such a life like that. Chaotic, dangerous, and phenomenal. A life that no dreams seem to be able to create, yet so obvious in reality.
Looking at Yousuke and everyone in the group talking, I felt relieved. After months living in stress and fear, especially on rainy days, for now, at least peace had somewhat come back to our daily life.
The train shook in a gentle rhythm. My eyes started to feel heavy, and they slowly closed shut.
———————————————
I jolted awake due to the loud ringing bell from somewhere. The blinding light from the window on the other side made me squint.
When my vision came back to normal, I realized there was not a single person around me.
What is happening…?
“Yousuke? Satonaka? Amagi?”
I called, but what replied to me was only the clanking sound of the train and the railway. There was no sign of human sound, except for me.
Outside the window, everything also disappeared. Only the endless white stretched out into oblivion.
Where am I?
I was going to stand up, but the moment I did the lightheadedness got to me. And so, I fell. I tried to grab the armrest of the chair, while the other hand was holding my own head.
“Ouch…Huh?”
Another chime echoed, but oddly enough, this time I could clearly feel that it was inside my head. Staggeringly standing up, I tried to adjust my breath.
“What the-”
In a flash, where I stood was no longer the train carriage, but the familiar hallway of the second floor in Yasogami.
…School cultural festival? Wait, the second semester just started recently. How can it be possible?
Unable to compose myself just yet, suddenly I felt like there was a string of electricity running through my head.
I was here, at the [school] holding the [cultural festival] along with everyone, even with Naoto…? And at that time, there was not only the members of the Investigation Team, but also—
「You’re really strong」
「Vice Leader… It doesn’t really sound that cool huh?」
「Oh, right… I’m your [Destined Partner] after all」
This is…my memories—
And in a flash once again, the scenery before my eyes returned where it once was, on the train going on a purr white space.
I stood still, in between the two rows of seats.
The memory fragment that didn’t belong to the past, the present nor the future, was mine. And there was the memory of him.
“Makoto-”
“I’m here, Yuu.”
That dearest of dear voice softly spoke behind me. Before I could say anything, he gave me a smile as I turned back.
“Sorry, I couldn’t keep the promise. Since I’m already gone.”
“What…?”
His smile remained on his lips, but the sad expression was written all over his face.
I silently rearranged the tangled memories that just invaded my mind a while ago, my eyes still glued on him.
“Why are you apologizing?”
There was no answer. He lifted his head. Our eyes met, in the short distance of a few steps between us.
“You kept your promise though. You’re here, right in front of me. I should be the one who apologized since I couldn’t find you sooner.”
The silence went on.
Okay. There’s no reason for this rare encounter to worthlessly pass by like this.
And so, I walked towards him.
“Yuu?”
“Let’s hold hands, shall we?”
Makoto’s eyes opened wide. Then, he let out a laugh.
“M’kay”
His little fingers intertwined with my big ones. The warmth from that palm, I still vividly remember. I draped my arm over his shoulders as well. And as a reply, Makoto also clung on my back and hugged me tightly. He slipped his head in my chest. In such a close distance, he really does feel small in my eyes, making me want to protect him more and more.
“How warm...”
We both reach the other arms towards each other for a full hug. I won’t have any other chance to embrace him like this anyway.
“I met Zen. Then I also wonder why I was still [existing] in this place. Now I have my answer.”
He took a step back. His hands took mine and clenched on them.
“Because of you, I was able to exist.”
Even though we didn’t utter it out, both Makoto and I knew, the only connection he had left with ‘reality’ is reaching its limit.
“Thank you. You’ve kept your promise, Makoto.”
“Yuu… Yeah, thank you too.”
The chime was ringing outside the train. It’s unlike the first one I heard. It’s a clear, transparent sound echoing from afar, and slowly becoming more and more apparent.
“Because of you, I was able to go forward.”
This is my answer.
The chime’s sound is reaching closer, and closer.
“Do your best. Goodbye, Yuu.”
“Goodbye, Makoto. We’ll meet again, someday”
In the last moment before the ringing bells came to a halt, Makoto pulled me close, and gave me a kiss.
The entire windows of the train sank into the darkness, as if it went under a tunnel.
【10101 11 010 000 01 1001 1001 01011 00 10010 1111 111 0100 000 10010 0110 00 00100 11101 10100】
When my consciousness slowly drifted away, I heard a voice. It was Zen.
“Our mission is completed. [Zhn] and [Philei] will pray for you two from now on. Farewell.”
———————————————
“The next stop - Iwatodai Station. Repeat: The next stop - Iwatodai Station—”
In the corner of the station, there was a gaze, gently tracing the steps of the boy walking along with his friends down the train, blending into the hustling and bustling crowd.
———————————————
I boarded the train early. The air hasn’t been too stuffy yet, but soon, in just a few hours, the heat will once again invade every nook and cranny of this train.
The train swayed rhythmically. Half-closing my eyes, I thought about everyone. So many things happened in a short span of just one year. It’s also been half a year since I came back to the city. How is everybody, I wonder…
"...?"
The sound I just heard, it’s like a church’s chime. Facing towards where I assumed the source of the sound was, I saw the scenery was dyed in the coral-colored shade of the dawn.
I blinked. And in that moment, except for the rolling sound of the train’s wheels, every other noise dissipated.
The train only had me left.
And he, sitting on the seat across from me, was smiling.
“Long time no see.”
I felt like spacing out for a bit. Ah, maybe this is a dream. Because, there’s no way he is here.
“Right, long time no see.”
“Sorry. Did I wake you up?”
“No, no. If this is a dream, then I would like to prolong it for a while more.”
“Haha. It’s not a dream. But it’s not reality either.”
“That’s complicated. Oh well, who needs to think that much about it. You don’t care about that kind of stuff anyway, right?”
“Yeah” He giggled, “You still remember well huh”
“If there’s a chance, I still want to meet you again.”
“I hope so. But, don’t you run after to find me.”
“Yeah, I promise.”
The chime rang once again. This time, it seemed to be a long one.
“Have a safe trip. Everyone there, sure is waiting for you. It’s the place you belong to.”
“M’kay. You, too, take care.”
He gently nodded. The last thing he said to me before the ringing bells stopped, the same as any other times, was not a goodbye.
【11011 01 11010 01011 10110】
"The next stop - Yaso-Inaba. Repeat, the next stop - Yaso-Inaba."
-FIN-
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