Chapter Text
Snowflakes and rain fell one by one on the village. The cold seeped into the bone and the air felt completely unbreathable. Among the dirt on the streets, snow continued to accumulate that could not even be used for the children to go out to play, no, not that day. That day no one dared to leave their homes if it was not strictly necessary, not with the constant that something was going to happen with impetus. That day was one of the coldest and most terrible days of winter that Dazai Osamu could have ever experienced, and definitely, his only wish was to stay in the warmth of his room and drown in his misery and boredom. .
It really is a terrible day for a wedding.
All that Dazai's dull and desolate sight could receive was that morning so cold, so lonely, so mournful and without a sense of spark for the happiness that could ever have claimed his life. Did that feeling of desolation and apathy of joy in his soul have something to do with such a sad climate? The answer could be said in a simple and soft "no".
The panorama that the window gave him was that of any other winter day. Lower or middle class merchants at their jobs, obtaining few or no sales that were barely enough for home meals. The news about the imminent and expected wedding shouted to the sound of a bell, also accompanied by the occasional cough or sneeze, a situation that was impossible not to present after catching a cold derived from that climate. And a few stray animals that begged for food among the garbage cans placed on the corners of each block. The town was dirty, to tell the truth. Perhaps Dazai was pessimistic, but definitely that forgotten town did not help him try to rebuild his spirits.
And while his peace was interrupted, he only reminded her that the frozen weather had not been able to freeze time.
His brow only wrinkled more when a slamming door made him prick his finger with one of the needles he used to practice conserving butterflies. To his surprise, he narrowly misses and ends up ripping the wing off one of his Morpho Eugenia's. Because in that town, insects could hardly survive the terrible climate.
“Rintarou says come down quickly!” Her younger stepsister exclaimed, entering her room without knocking or greeting, with her shrill tone of voice and her crimson-red dresses. Of course, there were the other details that came out of her room, such as the excitement of the rest of her family of two members for a marriage.
Really, they only got excited about marriages or wakes.
With a heavy sigh, he simply gave her sister a nod to get up from her comfort and start walking up to the first floor. Not many steps up the stairs, and he was only greeted by his father with a nod, Mori hated to talk to him if he didn't have to. On the other hand, Elise was very different and she talked a lot, even moving when her lady-in-waiting tried to comb her hair.
"You must stop being so restless" the older one with red hair scolded her, with a tone of patience at the same time that she really made an effort to make the girl look impeccable and ready. She definitely looked tired too, but she didn't really want to raise her voice to the little girl. "Or your hair won't take good shape."
Elise just nodded as she pouted like such a spoiled and annoying child (in Dazai's eyes). He didn't have time to complain about her behavior, because he heard a last call from her father; the carriage had arrived, and if it was something that interested him or that she could profit from, Mori always said that he could throw away all the gold he had for a little while. So Osamu had better not be late.
Pulling her sister away from Kouyo, she helped the blonde to get on the carriage, since she was not tall enough so that, with her fine shoes of the same color as her dress, she could reach the ramp to access the interior. vehicle. Besides, she hated the dirt on the streets, what a sin would be the dirt on the soles of such expensive shoes.
"Cheer up, Osamu" His father told him once the path was taken, a smile on his lips but a cold look at the landscape of the street "There is no greater joy than marriage, especially if it is with a woman so beautiful and educated in such good values"
"Sure," he answered dryly, he wasn't interested in getting into an argument with his father, he didn't want to accumulate more reasons for the day to be terrible.
Besides, the older man already looked quite annoyed by the terrible cough that his driver, Hirotsu, brought. He repeated over and over again that he stop coughing so annoyingly, that he was going to lose concentration. Osamu felt sorry for that poor man.
The carriage led them to a residence on the outskirts of town. An aristocratic house graced by the gentle deluge used to be viewed with euphoria and respect by the rest of the townspeople, speaking well of how the Fukuzawa family's financial situation couldn't look better. Sure, that's how it was until a few months ago.
"Do you want to remind me why we're doing this in the first place?" The youngest with brown hair asked with noticeable disinterest, again. He knew the reasons perfectly, but he fervently believed that the more he repeated it, the more he could convince himself that it was a good idea, and even so he seemed disinterested.
"Fukuzawa Yukichi has been my friend all my life" he began to explain (again) "we met when he was serving in the military and I was paying attention as a doctor. However, with the death of his wife, his family has fallen into an economic situation... unfavorable. There would be no better way to return the favor...
“Hmm…” He had already heard that story endless times. The empty explanations of his father really couldn't care less, he would definitely always have a deeper reason to do any little thing "And what do I have to see there?"
"Osamu, please! It's about time you settled down, and I can't think of who else you should do it with than young Akiko. She will teach you certain... feminine values" He answered with false emotion. Exactly, there was the real intention.
"Feminine values," he repeated again. Definitely his father was smarter to give a better excuse than that.
Hirotsu coughed again and parked the carriage, finally leaving them in front of Fukuzawa's house.
"How beautiful everything!" Her sister smiled at the entrances to the mansion, she had entered without knocking and simply opened the door without caring about anything, she seemed too dreamy around her to care if she harmed herself "And surely Miss Akiko she'll look beautiful in those fairytale wedding dresses!" Ugh, even his sister was more excited about the imminent wedding than he was, but of course, her father had raised her so that the idea of getting married was the best she could achieve a woman.
Elise was not lying either, despite the bankruptcy in which the family found itself, the room still retained a fairly homely aspect, as if the charm of the woman who died months ago had not yet disappeared. The fireplace was still burning to heat the home, the walls were upholstered with a tile color that had some barely perceptible camellias painted with special care, but it was not a dark and sad blue that could reflect melancholy. It wasn't a cobalt blue, but it wasn't a strong blue either. Dazai wouldn't know how to describe the color exactly, but it gave him some peace and quiet. That blue gave him a bit of calm to try to avoid what he would really have to attend there, serenity was able to accompany his head for a few moments.
“Yukichi! My old friend!" His father shrilly greeted his 'partner' when he was present in the main corridor, with an imposing air and without lowering his gaze. Fukuzawa Yukichi was already an older man, Dazai could think that he was somewhat older than his father. His hair was completely gray and he wore it long. He wore a traditional green yukata under a black coat. Taking into account the information that his father had given him, he guessed that he served the country as a samurai, in times of war he had to have commanded the most capable squads in Japan.
Ha, Dazai, you won the lottery. Your future father-in-law is a military man.
"Doctor Mori" The apparent samurai responded coldly. The man looked equally or less discouraged by the event than Dazai himself. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who disliked the idea he was being forced into.
“Come on, don't be so bitter!” He smiled with a shrug, he always so thoughtful. Mori continued to act without shame, it was as if the greatest happiness had been given to man "We are a few hours away from being family" There was a trace of evil in his voice, but he still smiled. Dazai had already gotten used to that, that man didn't act out of simple kindness.
"Besides" Mori resumed, addressing a child? Young guy? God knows how old he is "How big your son is! hadn't seen him for a long time.Elise was not lying either, despite the bankruptcy in which the family found itself, the room still retained a fairly homely aspect, as if the charm of the woman who died months ago had not yet disappeared. The fireplace was still burning to heat the home, the walls were upholstered with a tile color that had some barely perceptible camellias painted with special care, but it was not a dark and sad blue that could reflect melancholy. It wasn't a cobalt blue, but it wasn't a strong blue either. Dazai wouldn't know how to describe the color exactly, but it gave him some peace and quiet. That blue gave him a bit of calm to try to avoid what he would really have to attend there, serenity was able to accompany his head for a few moments.
“Yukichi! My old friend!- His father shrilly greeted his 'partner' when he was present in the main corridor, with an imposing air and without lowering his gaze. Fukuzawa Yukichi was already an older man, Dazai could think that he was somewhat older than his father. His hair was completely gray and he wore it long. He wore a traditional green yukata under a black coat. Taking into account the information that his father had given him, he guessed that he served the country as a samurai, in times of war he had to have commanded the most capable squads in Japan.
Ha, Dazai, you won the lottery. Your future father-in-law is a military man.
"Doctor Mori" The apparent samurai responded coldly. The man looked equally or less discouraged by the event than Dazai himself. Clearly, he wasn't the only one who disliked the idea he was being forced into.
“Come on, don't be so bitter!” He smiled with a shrug, he always so thoughtful. Mori continued to act without shame, it was as if the greatest happiness had been given to man "We are a few hours away from being family" There was a trace of evil in his voice, but he still smiled. Dazai had already gotten used to that, that man didn't act out of simple kindness.
"Besides" Mori resumed, addressing a child? Young guy? God knows how old he is "How big your son is! hadn't seen him for a long time"
Dazai hadn't noticed him, but he could tell he had weird... clothes. He wore old-fashioned glasses and a hat that pretended to be some kind of beret. His eyes were half closed, but Dazai managed to see the green in them. That boy did not return Mori's greeting, what's more, he looked at him with hatred. Osamu empathized with the stranger, they seemed to share a mutual feeling.
"Kids..." Mori sighed, clearly not turning to Dazai, he gave him one of those forced smiles to pressure him, "Osamu, aren't you going to say hello?"
"Good morning," he greeted dryly, without saying many words. He really didn't see any interest in showing… interest; he knew that, probably, being the son of that being would not give Yukichi much confidence.
Fukuzawa seemed to understand the poor boy and avoided glancing at him or making any complaints about his dryness (although Dazai doubted that this man was capable of showing any kind of feeling other than apathy). He just stared at him indifferently, in the whole time, he hadn't changed his expression one bit.
"Akiko will join us in a moment, she's getting ready in her bedroom," he informed, turning around, "for now, follow me."
Fukuzawa led them through a large, sprawling hallway, through which Dazai could see various paintings covered in a thin layer of dust hung in an organized fashion. Some were from the whole family, in those typical portraits where everyone was serious. There were also the individual photos, which Dazai didn't pay much attention to. What was true, is that it was noticeable that that family came to be quite comfortable. Large houses in that town were not very common, and not even his had that space.
The hall was also lit by some chandeliers that gave the house an even more funereal air. Dazai kept thinking that the house was not terrible, and he did not express a desolate and sad air to the house; but somehow a tiny part of him still felt some kind of suffocation taking over his chest and his breath. Although, that probably wasn't the house's fault.
While his father continues a conversation with himself, with short words to which Yukichi only responds with nods, Osamu tries to do a little analysis that led him to the conclusions described above. There wasn't anything that really caught his attention, that is, until he came across a room that contained something in particular.
In a corridor that led to some stairs, a wooden grand piano of the finest class stood out. It is dust free and appears to be fairly well cared for as the wood is well polished and cared for. The keys of it do not seem to have the slightest scratch that could mean age, and even the chair seemed to be made of leather.
Such is his excitement at finding something so familiar to him that he leaves his family and who are soon to be his family behind him. Although, the correct way to say it is that they left him behind, so his father can't rebuke him or make any claim to him. Maybe he can even impress his mother-in-law if he plays a tune that looks to his liking. He might like Monet or Beethoven, but right now, that was the least of his worries.
Dazai can't fight the temptation to sit in front of the instrument. He can't stop fascinated by it and stop admiring each and every minuscule detail. Dazai also can't fight the temptation to start playing the keys. And even without a sheet music of a classical piece in front of him, he decides to dare to take what is not his and appropriate it to make his being feel like art.
He starts playing a C, it's not high, it's not low either, it's like a simple tone that isn't very special to someone else, but to Dazai it is. He doesn't remember the last time he played a piano, probably he left it using his father found out he liked it. Because whenever his father knew of something that made him feel alive, he pushed him into that action and it only turns the feeling of excitement and happiness into something monotonous and gray. Like all other things.
Dazai didn't consider himself a skilled young man at many things, even if he was very smart, he probably feigned clumsiness most of the time to avoid drawing too much attention from his father. But the reality is that Osamu knew how to do things with passion, like the even melancholic melody that he was playing.
So absorbed and deep in the waves of his fascination was Osamu, that he did not hear footsteps coming from the stairs not far from him.