Work Text:
Spinning.
The world was spinning.
If Rei Sakuma had to describe how he was feeling right now, perfectly fine would be at the very bottom of the list. Had been for a while now, though it was only at this very moment that he was truly feeling the full effects of his negligence.
It hadn’t been intentional, really. Practice times had needed to be shifted and elongated a bit due to certain other member’s commitments (Kaoru’s dating life), changing the usual schedule the red-eyed male had. This, then, led to a shift in all of his other daily activities; namely, eating, sleeping, looking for Ritsu, and attending classes. He still went to class, still slept and spent time looking for his beloved younger brother, but the male found himself forgetting to eat more and more often.
He would accidentally forget to purchase tomato juice or other sources of substanence during lunch, more often than not sleeping through the period. The longer practices at an earlier time, while necessary, served to only sap even more of the eighteen-year old’s energy. Pair this lack of iron intake along with his recent forgetfulness to take his supplements, and the self-proclaimed vampire was feeling weaker and weaker as the days passed.
While he had always been pale and low-energy, the leader of Undead had been even more lethargic than usual recently. The effort it took to get out of his coffin every day for classes was becoming more and more impairing. Just standing up was starting to be enough to make the anemic boy dizzy, the world turning on its side for a moment before righting itself once more. His chest pains, which had at one point become almost nonexistent, were now back with a vengeance.
And, of course, the sunlight constantly streaming in through the windows did little to help with all of this.
That was why, during practice this afternoon, the sickly male was feeling much worse than he usually was. While Adonis would often bring food to their sessions, the boy had recently put a halt to his habit, something about not wanting to have it as a distraction. This was only because of their upcoming debut CD and performance that were to occur at the end of the month, which was also why their practices were becoming more frequent and longer in terms of length. While normally Rei would allow Kaoru to skip practice now and again, the boy had altered the schedule to fit with the blond’s due to the enormity of the situation.
It was important that they were ready for the upcoming events, and the teen could not allow for his illness to get in the way. He promised himself he would get back on top of things after practice today-- lightly put, it would be a disaster if he were to faint on stage during their performance due to his iron deficiency anemia.
While the male had been considering this, one of his fellow members, Koga, affectionately dubbed “Doggie”, accidentally bumped into him, sending the weakened male spiraling to the floor. It was common knowledge among the members of Undead that Rei had anemia, he didn’t necessarily try to hide it, and it was an important thing to consider for practice and the like.
“Oh, whoops…! Hey, are you dozing off or something, you vampire bastard?” the dog-like male barked, though there was a hint of concern to his voice.
“Oh, Doggie.... I’m not feeling very well today," the male replied, doing his best to keep his voice light. It had taken him a moment to regain his bearings, the world having spun around and around like a carousel for a moment.
Frowning, the lighter-haired male stopped, narrowing his eyes a bit at the other, “"Hah? You've rested all day long and you're still not feeling well?” he questioned, then gave a sigh, “Did you eat?"
"No…” the other admitted, “I went to look for some katsu-sando at one point, but they were all sold out, and I haven’t had the chance to get any tomato juice recently,” he confessed, slowly standing up with great effort and brushing himself off slowly. Ah, the sunlight was truly troublesome for a vampire such as he…
Rolling his eyes, the light-eyed male replied, “Idiot... Of course they'd be sold out. You sleep the whole day when they’re sold,” with a frown, his hand on his hip.
“I am a noble vampire, after all,” the elder replied with a chuckle, standing up straight once more, “I live in the night.”
“You shitty vampire…” the male shook his head, “You really are chuunibyou,” he sighed, knowing by now it was better to just drop it. The other was incredibly stubborn on the idea he was a vampire.
“Ah... Doggie, your barking is so noisy…,” the exhausted male waved his hand in annoyance, dismissing the other. Pausing for a moment, he gave a smile, “Well then, we shall end our practice for today. I will now excuse myself to look for my beloved Ritsu,” Rei concluded, departing from the room post-haste.
Kaoru had no problem with this, immediately flying from the room to pursue one of the girls he was currently attempting to get together with. While Adonis was a bit perturbed by their leader’s seemingly failing health, the male knew he could do nothing if the other did not want him to and merely shrugged it off, taking his bag and leaving the room as well.
Annoyed that practice was cut short, and secretly worried about Rei, Koga narrowed his gaze with great displeasure and left the room as well, heading out. Dammit, if that vampire bastard wanted to dodge his obvious issues, then Koga couldn’t care less! (Or so he liked to tell himself, anyways).
Meanwhile, Rei slowed down from his escape, taking a moment to lean against the wall and catch his breath, hand going up to touch the area over his heart. The pains were only getting worse, and his little run out of the room had done nothing but aggravate his hurting. Well, hopefully seeing his cute younger brother would help to ease his suffering.
Closing his eyes for a moment, the male let out a breath of air slowly, then opened them again and gave his usual detached smile. Yes, he had his beloved Ritsu to go find. That would surely make him feel better. Really, it was lucky no one was around to see him in his current pitiable state.
Now, the Knights had practice today where again? Thinking back to the various conversations he had been half-listening to during class today, the male was almost certain he recalled Leo saying that they would be practicing outside that afternoon. In a way, it was fortunate he had ended practice early. If their practice had went on as long as they had originally scheduled for, the teen had no doubt he would miss out on the chance to see his cute younger brother’s practice today.
While he would prefer not to go out in the sun, the dark-haired male would do it for Ritsu. The sun tended to make the male feel weak and sapped his energy, being a vampire did have its downsides, after all. Surely seeing his adorable sibling would help to make him feel better after his recent rough patch.
Coming to a decision, the leader of Undead turned around, moving away from the infirmary he had originally been subconsciously walking towards and making his way towards the exit of the building. It took him a tad longer than he would have liked, still a bit tired and stifled from his previous sprint out of the practice room, but the singer managed to make it to the Knights’ practice before they finished.
As silently as he possibly could, the long-haired boy glided over to where the group of boys were standing around. From the looks of it, they were working on dance practice for their upcoming performance (in fact, the show would be very close to the time of Undead’s), though their leader was, as usual, absent.
“This is so annoying, why do we have to practice out in this heat?” an irritated voice cut through the humid air, its owner pulling at his shirt in hopes of cooling off, “I hate being sweaty and in hot weather. This sucks.”
A placating voice was quick to reply, “It can’t be helped, all the other rooms are taken by other students,” Arashi spoke, the blond coming into sight as the elder male stalked closer to the group.
Mostly ignoring the group, Rei searched around for his beloved younger brother, spotting the male resting under a tree with his eyes closed and lost to the world of dreams. His brother lay with his head on the ground, seemingly dead to the world. Smiling at the sight, the self-proclaimed vampire pushed himself forward, jogging over to sit besides his resting sibling before the other woke up. Really, Ritsu was just too cute!
Already feeling himself becoming more energized at the sight of his sibling, the male reached out gently, shifting the other so his head was resting on the elder’s legs. A sense of utter joy rang within him as he held his younger brother, and the teen couldn’t help but smile a bit wider.
Of course, Ritsu had to wake up sometime.
It was only after a few moments, but the male slowly blinked open crimson orbs, blinking up into near-identical ones. After a beat of silence, the younger narrowed his eyes, quickly sitting up and pushing his brother away. Frowning, he spoke, “...What the hell are you doing.”
“I just wanted to see my cute little brother,” the vampire chuckled, smiling at the source of his adoration. Yes, he could feel the near-constant pain that had been plaguing him so dissipating as he spent time in the other’s presence.
A clear look of distaste on his face, the shorter replied, “Leave me alone, weirdo.”
“Ah! You’re so cold to me,” the elder dramatized, putting a hand over his heart, “But I love you anyways, Ritsu~” he sang, chuckling a bit.
“You’re so annoying,” the other scowled, though made no move to stand up and escape the comfort of the shade, “Why won’t you just go die and leave me alone already?”
“Ha, ha, as a vampire, I am an immortal creature of the night, my dear Ritsu,” Rei spoke back easily, though the words had cut into him. Did his cute younger sibling really hate him enough to wish for his death? Somehow, the male wasn’t sure he knew the answer to that.
Suddenly, the pain that had been pushed from the recesses of his mind was back in full force.
Completely ignoring his brother, Ritsu stood up, shifting so his back was to the paler than usual man. Not turning to look back even once, the seventeen year old made his way over to his group, “Huh? You’re finally joining us?” Izumi asked, watching the boy walk over.
“Yeah,” the male replied, coming to stand with the rest of Knights.
“I thought you said you were tired,” the lighter-haired boy pointed out, frowning a bit.
“...Not anymore. Now I’m just annoyed,” Ritsu explained, not even bothering to gesture back to his brother for further explanation. He didn’t even want to think about that guy right now (or ever).
“Huh, alright,” the other shrugged it off, going back to paying attention to their practice.
“We have to practice as a group anyways! We can’t have you slack off while we're working hard~” Arashi cut in cheerfully, no one moving to point out that their leader was still absent from practice. At the very least, Leo had come back to school. The other always seemed to be ready whenever they had to perform, so he wasn’t too much of a worry.
Closing his eyes for a moment, Rei, stood up as well, brushing the dirt off of his pants. It was obvious Ritsu didn’t want to see him right now, so it would be for the best if he left. Usually he might try and stay despite his sibling’s protests, but he wasn’t feeling altogether too well today.
Giving his brother one last look, a glance that was not returned, the male turned and slowly made his way back inside. It was incredibly hot outside, much hotter and humid than it had been for the past few days. Perhaps it wasn’t his best decision to come outside, much less with his full uniform on and his hair left down.
Sweat was sticking his white shirt to his body, and the male was beginning to feel disgusting. The pain in his chest seemed to be growing with each step he took, and Rei was beginning to think he might not be able to make it back into the building. It had been a very long time since his anemia had been this debilitating, not since he had been a young child (and back then, he had needed to be hospitalized).
Perhaps it would be for the best if he made it to the infirmary? Yes, that would likely be the correct course of action to take. His iron levels had been too low for too long, it would be for his best interest if he received some of his medication from Mr. Sagami. Upon reaching the entrance to the school, the boy needed to hold onto the wall for support, energy next to nil.
After a moment to catch his breath, the self-proclaimed vampire entered into the school, enjoying the cooler air conditioned air on his skin. Taking another moment to rest and enjoy the cold that rushed to greet him, the third year slowly moved through the halls. Mostly everyone had left for the day now, so there was no one to stare or try and offer help.
He could only hope Mr. Sagami was still around.
Stumbling up the stairs took the male a good twenty minutes, and another handful of time to actually reach the room. The whole while he kept leaning on the wall for support, hoping that the pain would disappear soon if he were able to get his supplements. Giving a shaky breath right outside the door, the male turned and entered into the room, shoulders slumping a bit at the abandoned room that greeted him.
Well, it appeared he was on his own then.
Going home and retrieving his medicine seemed like the next best option, but the teen didn’t think he’d be able to make it there on his own. If Ritsu and he were still speaking, the dark-haired male could have asked his younger brother to help him, but his beloved sibling was still angry with him for whatever reason he had. Which meant he was on his own.
In this case, there was really nothing else he could do but give in to his weakened body’s demands. Changing his goal, Rei stumbled out of the room, barely able to place one foot in front of the other, and made his way to the room he had come to claim as his own. While he could salvage some loose change and purchase a carton of tomato juice, the leader of Undead was uncertain whether he would be able to make it to the vending machine downstairs, much less find money for the purchase.
Another few minutes and after a great struggle, the teen barely managed to gather his energy and push the door open, collapsing into the room. Laying on the ground for a few moments, Rei enjoyed the coolness of the floor against his heated cheek, closing his eyes. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, but after a while he opened his eyes again and crawled forward, pulling himself along with his upper arms slowly.
He couldn’t lay on the floor, it was unbecoming of a noble vampire such as himself. All he needed was to take a short rest in his coffin, then he would make his way back to the place he called his abode and retrieve his medication. Surely a little rest could do no harm.
It took him a bit of a while, but the boy managed to make his way over to his coffin, barely able to climb up onto the side of the box. Luckily enough, the bed had been left opened from his earlier rest, and the teen was able to pull himself over and into the area he used for sleep. After another bit of struggle, he managed to close the lid, blocking out the harsh sunlight that did nothing but sap away at his strength.
Although the pain in his chest remained strong, the idol boy felt himself relax at the sudden complete darkness he found himself in. Unable to fight against his body’s needs any longer, the male closed his eyes, unconsciousness quickly falling upon him.
With that, Rei became dead to the world.
“Oogami-senpai?” a head of orange hair peeked into the slowly emptying classroom of 2-B.
Behind him, another head of identical hair and features joined him, a grin on this twin’s face as he repeated what his younger sibling had said, “Oogami-senpai!”
“Huh?” the aforementioned male scowled, turning around to face the doorway that the pair now stood in. Upon seeing who exactly it was that had called out to him, the teen relaxed his expression a bit, “Oh, it’s you twins. What do you want? Did that vampire bastard send for me already?”
“Actually, we were wondering if you knew where Sakuma-senpai was,” the younger, Yuta, asked, a tinge of concern hidden underneath his words.
“Yeah! We went into the room but he wasn’t there, and we searched all over and we couldn’t find him!” Hinata continued, frowning a bit.
Frowning at their words, the elder teen spoke, “Did you look in that damn coffin of his? The idiot’s probably just sleeping like he always is,” he grumbled, finishing packing up his things and standing up.
“We tried knocking, but he didn’t respond, so we don’t know if he’s in there,” the calmer of the two explained with a small frown of his own, “Could you come help us find him, Oogami-senpai?”
“Ugh, fine, I guess the club activities can’t start until that shitty vampire wakes up anyways,” the taller grimaced, throwing his bag over his shoulder and turning to the younger students, “Well? What the hell are you waitin’ for? Lead the way!”
“Right!” the two chorused, Hinata grinning and Yuta flashing a smile, though still appearing a bit worried. The two walked down the hallway in front of their upperclassman, leading the way to the clubroom.
It wasn’t very long of a walk, and in no time the trio found themselves at the entrance to the clubroom their president called his own. The elder’s coffin lay where it always was, lid on and silent. Scowling at the sight, Koga strode forward, the twins following a bit behind him. Approaching the coffin, the male bent down, rapping his knuckles against the lid with great force, “Hey! Vampire bastard! Get up already!” he exclaimed.
A beat of silence. Nothing.
Feeling even more annoyance at being seemingly ignored, the dog-lover knocked on the lid of the coffin with even more force, “Hey! Wake up! Do you hear me, you shitty vampire?!” the second year continued to yell, once again pausing for a response.
Still nothing.
Fed up with getting no reply, the male threw up the lid of the coffin, eyes narrowed and ready to lay it on the one who could be nowhere else but inside.
The sight that greeted him was certainly not what he had been expecting.
Their president and the leader of his unit, Rei Sakuma, was indeed inside the coffin. There was no doubt that the pale dark-haired handsome male lying there was the aforementioned teen. The problem lay in the state that the anemic idol was in. Although the other had pale skin naturally, his parlor was even more sickly and white than usual. Despite how much noise Koga had been making, the elder was completely silent, laying with his hands on his chest, one lightly resting over the other.
He truly looked dead, and that scared the sixteen year old.
“H-Hey, bastard, wake up--!” the younger barked, trying to keep his composure and not freak out over this. There was no way, right? Sure, their leader had health issues, but they were under control, weren’t they?
Still getting no response, the male bent down, putting his face closer to the other’s ear, “Hey! Wake up already!” he yelled, hoping against hope the other was just in a deep sleep.
Nothing.
Watching the elder’s chest, the boy couldn’t stop himself from paling as the other didn’t seem to be breathing. Eyes widening a bit, he moved his hand over the unconscious boy’s mouth and nose, feeling for any air. Usually he would never be caught dead in such a position, but right now, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
With barely concealed horror, the teen pulled back his hand, grabbing at the edges of the coffin and looking down at his leader, “Hey! Sakuma! Rei! Come on! Wake up!” he called out, beginning to get frantic now.
“Oogami-senpai…?” Yuta finally spoke up, looking incredibly worried by the other’s uncharacteristic concern. Why wasn’t Sakuma-senpai waking up…?
“Go get Sagami!” the grey-haired male barked out, not taking his eyes off of the unconscious young adult.
“Right!” the twins gave a nod, both rushing out of the room and down the hall, though the younger did give an anxious look back before leaving.
While they were gone, Koga continued to try and awaken the other, yelling as loudly as he dared for the eighteen year old to just wake up and stop pretending, dammit! Despite all this, he didn’t dare to touch the male, too afraid he might only make the situation even worse. Looking down at the other desperately, he felt a sense of guilt rise within him as he suddenly remembered what had happened yesterday afternoon.
“Hey, this--this isn’t because I bumped into you yesterday, is it?!” was it actually his fault that the senior was in such a state? Thinking back, Rei had seemed much more pale than usual yesterday, and he had been even more tired out even more quickly than usual. Had Koga bumping into him been the last straw?
Before long, Mr. Sagami was rushing down the hallway, having been told by the twins that “There’s something wrong with Sakuma-senpai!” and ran from there. If Rei himself couldn’t come, it had to be serious. The man had had to leave early yesterday, having an appointment of his own to attend, and he hadn’t had the chance to see his regular that day. In fact, he hadn’t really seen the other around for a few days, and this sudden emergency did nothing to quell the worry gnawing at his stomach.
Throwing open the door to the clubroom, he strode forward, “Koga, I need you to move,” he commanded, completely serious as the situation called for it.
The teen took a step back after a moment, moving to allow the other to work, “That shitty vampire bastard...he won’t wake up…!” he spoke as though to explain, but it was obvious how worried the student was.
One look was enough to tell the teacher how serious a situation it was. Rei’s sickeningly pale skin was enough of a warning sign, and the seeming lack of breathing only brought on the alarm bells even more. Leaning in close, the male searched for the eighteen year old’s pulse, watching for any movement of his chest to indicate he was breathing at all.
It was very faint and worryingly slow, but he had a pulse, at least. How long had the teen been unconscious here? Did anyone notice he had been gone? Pulling back, the adult turned to the boy standing behind him, “Koga, when was the last time you saw Rei before this?”
“Huh? Before this?” the other repeated, thinking for a moment, “It had to have been at practice yesterday after school. The idiot fell over and was saying how he hadn’t had anything to eat recently,” the boy frowned, crossing his arms.
“...Do you know how long he’s been here?” Sagami asked with a frown of his own, not liking what he was hearing. Rei hadn’t been eating recently? He supposed the longer practices probably had a role in that, something that would tire out the boy on its own anyways. Pair that with the fact the other hadn’t been coming for his medication lately, and the situation clearly flashed dangerous.
“When we went to his classroom, everyone said they hadn’t seen Sakuma-senpai all day,” Yuta supplied, obviously worried for the upperclassman he and his brother adored.
“This is bad…” the thirty year old commented, looking gravely concerned. Pulling out his cellphone, the man typed in three numbers every Japanese citizen was familiar with. While he waited for the call to be picked up, the man turned to the three students with a serious gaze, “You’d better stand back, I’m calling an ambulance. This is serious.”
Koga blanched at that, staring with wide eyes at the doctor. There was no way, right? No way that shitty guy was hurt bad enough he had to go to the hospital, right? Of course, his disbelief was dispelled as soon as the medics ran in, taking the unconscious male’s vitals and then yelling for a stretcher.
The sixteen year old couldn’t even make a sound, watching the scene play out as though he were outside of his own body. In moments, Rei was carried out of the room and down to the ambulance, the car driving off, lights on and sirens blaring.
...There was no way, right…?
Ritsu had been sitting outside after having been forced to sit in class all day, Mao having dragged him in while he had been attempting to escape and nap as he usually did. The other seemed determined to make sure the darker-haired boy didn’t have to skip a grade again, though the elder couldn’t care less. He had just been about to fall asleep, the gentle tendrils of sweet unconsciousness reaching for him, when a sudden loud commotion awoke him. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes with great annoyance, the teen turned to look at what all the (annoying) noise was about.
Standing up, he made his way over to where a group of people now stood watching, standing in the back so he was unable to see what they were looking at. A sudden hand on his arm had the boy turning around, meeting his childhood friend’s concerned gaze, “Hey, Ritsu, are you okay?” he asked, eyes worried.
“Huh? What do you mean, Maa-kun?” the male questioned, frowning a bit at the other’s concern. Was he missing out on something?
“Did you not hear?” the other asked, blinking in surprise, “They had to take Sakuma-san to the hospital. Apparently they found him unconscious and in bad shape in the clubroom he sleeps in,” the student council member frowned, clearly worried about the elder boy he had known since they were younger.
The elder’s crimson eyes widened a fraction, then quickly returned to normal, all traces of concern erased in a mere handful of seconds, “I’m sure he’ll be fine,” he spoke, keeping his tone neutral.
Frowning at the other’s response, Mao knew Ritsu well enough to know when the other was forcing himself to appear nonchalant, the lighter-haired male crossed his arms and gave a sigh, “Well, I’m still worried about him. Hopefully it’s nothing too serious.”
“....I guess,” the red-eyed male gave a shrug, doing his best to appear as though he didn’t care. He hated his brother, there was no reason he would be worried about that annoying guy. Yeah, he wasn’t concerned at all. (...Right?)
“I’m going to become the next leader of Undead if you don’t wake up soon, so you might as well just stay asleep, you shitty bastard,” Koga spoke, though it was obvious he didn’t mean what he said.
The male had been coming to visit his unconscious upperclassman ever since he had been taken away from the school almost a week ago. The other boy had remained dead to the world, doctors and nurses throwing around different terms the dog-lover couldn’t even begin to comprehend. All he knew was that Rei wouldn’t wake up for some reason.
He wasn’t the only one who came. The twins would visit, Mao now and again, the other members of Undead, the other students in class 3-B, and even Eichi had dropped by once. Ritsu, of course, also came. Out of everyone, the other Sakuma was probably the one who came the most besides Koga, though the older teen would never admit it. While he wasn’t certain what the others would do when they came, the golden-eyed boy would sit and talk whenever he visited.
School, their subunit, how everyone was doing-- he’d even bring tomato juice for the bastard to drink if he ever decided to wake up. The sixteen year old was not a patient person, and he was already getting fed up with how long it was taking the light music club president to return to the world of the living.
Although he knew he wouldn’t get a response, the teen continued to come almost every day and try, in vain, to awaken the other with threats and taunts. Undead had continued to have practice, the show being soon, they couldn’t exactly cancel when tickets had already been pre-ordered. The light music club, however, had suspended activities, and on days when he did not have practice with Kaoru and Adonis, the male would spend his time at the hospital.
If asked, he would claim he had nothing better to do, and he might as well try and get the idiot vampire up in time for the show he had finally booked for them. In truth, it was stifling. Practice wasn’t nearly close to being the same without their leader there, though at least Kaoru felt responsible enough to show up every time now and didn’t take advantage of Rei’s absence.
Watching the unconscious male in hopes of a response, the teen could only feel disappointed by the utter lack of reaction. Dammit. He was beginning to get really sick of this! The other had better decide whether or not he was going to fucking wake up. They had an important show soon, and if he didn’t wake up--
“...”
The sudden loud continuous tone of a flatline surprised the dog lover, taking his attention away from his thoughts and back to reality. Standing up, he stared with wide eyes at the machines hooked up to Rei’s unconscious body, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. There was no way...that bastard hadn’t just...he hadn’t just died right then and there, had he?!
Rushing out into the hallway, the teen looked around for a doctor, calling out, “Hey! Could we get someone in here?! That bastard just--!”
In mere moments, doctors and nurses were rushing into the room, moving around in a flurry over the unresponsive teen’s body. Koga didn’t know what they were shouting to each other, but it didn’t sound good. It didn’t sound good at all.
“...Looks like we’ve lost him,” one of the doctors commented after a few minutes of rushing around, a defibrillator even being brought out at one point. Taking off his gloves, the man held up his wrist and glanced at his watch for the time.
“Time of death, four-twenty in the afternoon.”
Outside the door to the room stood Ritsu, holding a bag of items he had brought for his brother and staring with wide eyes into the room. Did...did he just hear what he thought he heard? Barely able to make a sound, the male dropped the paper bag he had been holding, the goods inside spilling across the floor, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
“W...What...?”
There was no way, right? There was no way his brother had just died, right? That annoying stupid elder brother of his wouldn’t just go and leave him alone again like that, leave him alone forever like that, right?
Foregoing his usual facade of callousness, the teen rushed into the room, hoping he had heard wrong, that his idiot weirdo of an older brother was fine, that it was somebody else, anybody else, who had been pronounced dead just now. The prolonged flatline paired with the elder boy’s pale face and still body were more than enough to crush those feeble hopes.
Suddenly, it felt like he couldn’t breathe.
His brother, his stupid, weird, idiot, annoying, smothering elder brother was gone for good. He would never have to sneak around the school to avoid the other again, would never wake up to find his older brother holding him gently and smiling down at him, would never have to wait and see if the other was coming home for the day or if he had fallen asleep at school. Those were all good things, right? He should be glad he didn’t have to deal with that annoying guy--
But then, why did it hurt so much?
A warm wetness made itself known on his cheeks, and the male raised a hand to find he was crying. Why? Why was he crying? He should be glad, glad that the person who was the bane of his existence was gone, glad that that overly touchy brother of his would finally leave him alone forever. He shouldn’t feel sad, he shouldn’t feel like his entire world had just crumbled apart right there.
“Brother...”
This was different from when his older brother had gone away to study for a year abroad. While Ritsu had felt betrayed and abandoned back then, he had at least known the other would eventually come back. While the seventeen year old had kept a grudge, childishly, against his doting elder sibling for leaving him alone for a year, the other had continued to shower him with love and affection despite the younger’s cold attitude.
“Why won’t you just go die and leave me alone already?”
Eyes widening at the sudden memory, the boy could barely keep himself together, still standing silently in the slowly emptying hospital room. Ah, that’s right. He had said that, hadn’t he? Told his brother to go die. To go away and leave him alone forever.
For once, his older brother had listened to him.
And for once, Ritsu found himself wishing he hadn’t.
It had been a few weeks since Rei had been declared deceased at the hospital. Everyone at school had heard of the news by now, creating a thin blanket of unease and loss over the idol training course. Most avoided talking about it outright, though everyone knew what had happened.
Class 3-B was down a member, and it showed. The Three Oddballs had been reduced to a duo, both less energetic and more “normal” than they usually were. No one was quite sure whether or not they should still continue to call them the Three Oddballs, perhaps the Oddball Duo would be more appropriate now?
Still, even Nazuna and Kuro, who hadn’t been especially close to their now dead classmate, had been downcast. Kaoru had been upset by the loss of their leader, yes, but he seemed to, perhaps, be taking it the best.
Undead had yet to meet again since Rei had been pronounced dead. The show had, understandably, been canceled. There was no reason to meet up and practice when there was nothing to practice for, not to mention the issue of assigning a new leader. The eldest of them had been a major part of their group and popularity, making it a difficult task to figure out how to replace him.
Adonis was upset, in his own quiet way. The half-Japanese boy was clearly upset by his leader’s passing, but kept mostly silent on it. He spent most of class sitting without saying much, and while he would still respond when someone addressed him, it was obvious he had been affected by it all.
Yuta and Hinata were deeply affected by the loss of their beloved senior. They had been the ones to cry the most, both of them breaking down at the service that had been a handful of days beforehand. While the two would still come to the allotted times that the light music club was supposed to meet, trying to continue on in the face of disbandment, there was nothing they could really do as first years. The twins wanted to continue Rei's club for him despite his passing, but the school had a policy to keep. Without a president, the club the other had maintained was done for.
Lucky for them, Mao had stepped in, wanting to do his part, in a way, to preserve what Rei had left behind.
Koga, meanwhile, couldn't bring himself to show up to the club.
The sixteen year old spent his time mostly alone, sitting back and trying to keep everything out of his mind. By nature, the dog-lover did not think hard about things too often, more of an act first think, perhaps, afterwards. This whole situation was so wrong, so disturbingly unreal that the teen just couldn’t accept it as reality.
The vampire bastard was gone. Gone for good. Koga knew this, he knew it, and yet something still bothered him. He should be glad the guy he hated was gone, shouldn’t he? No longer would he be tied up or dragged around like a dog, he wouldn’t have to stand out in the sun and hold a parasol for the other or yell at the elder to actually do something for Undead.
Rei was gone, and with him, the second year’s daily frustration should have decreased.
Yet, he felt even more irritable than ever. He had been skipping out on light music club meetings and avoiding the other members of Undead, feeling as though it were pointless to communicate with them when their leader was gone. Club activities would no doubt be canceled, so he saw no reason to attend that. His days should have been peaceful, as they had been before that guy had made him his dog, and yet...something was off. Something was missing.
Koga would find himself making his way to the clubroom, thinking about how he had to go get that bastard up, before suddenly remembering that there was no one left to wake up. Rei wouldn’t wake up ever again. Wouldn’t need to be woken up ever again.
Dammit.
The whole thing left a bad taste in his mouth, and the teen could hardly stand for it. Deciding that enough was enough, the male stood up, storming out of the half-empty classroom and rushing down the hall. Ignoring any attempts those in the hall made to speak to him or get his attention, the idol in training ran out of the school and down the street, determined to make it to his desired destination.
Koga was quick, so it didn’t take him very long to reach the grave site. He had attended the funeral, as had the rest of Undead and the majority of the idol training part of the school (though Ritsu had been absent, surprisingly enough). It had been a solemn affair, and the boy was almost certain the bastard would have loved, gloating about how the atmosphere fit a “vampire such as he”.
As if he were actually an immortal vampire.
Standing in front of the grave that had been designated to the leader of Undead, the teen stared for a moment, frowning and fidgeting. Clenching his fists, the male finally spoke after a long silence, spitting out the words that had been threatening to claw out from his throat since the other had died, "I keep telling you that I hate you, but I actually don't. I still like you, goddammit. Vampire bastard...."
At the funeral, the other had been in a coffin, the same one he had spent so much of his school time sleeping in. It seemed almost right, then, to have Rei laying in the bed he was often found in. There was something natural about it, and the boy had felt as though the other would wake up at any moment. Of course, he knew that was a hope in vain.
When it was his turn to go up to the corpse, he had stared, unsure of what to say, “....Whenever I talk back at you I'd always tell you to stay in your coffin for hundred years and never come out,” he had clenched his fists, finding it hard to keep looking at the deceased man he had once called his enemy, “I never thought this day would actually come. I was just joking. I should be happy. But I'm not.”
Having said what he wanted to, the teen turned, stalking off back to his home for the day. Somehow, he felt as if a small weight had been lifted from his chest.
“Oogami-senpai,” Yuta questioned, poking his head into the classroom. His brother was close behind, appearing right behind the other.
“Huh? You guys, what do you want?” the male asked, turning around to face the first year student. He hadn’t spoken to the other in a long while, so it was strange for the younger to suddenly want to speak to him.
“Oogami-senpai...we know you haven’t been to the club ever since…” the younger twin paused, trailing off.
“Senpai! We need you to take on the role of president for Sakuma-senpai’s club!” Hinata cut-in, looking determined, “We can’t let Sakuma-senpai’s efforts go to waste!”
“...What?” the elder questioned, furrowing his brow. Become president of the club? Could he really take that bastard’s place like that so easily?
“If you don’t, they’re going to shut down the club,” Yuta explained with a frown, “Isara-senpai is helping to keep it up right now, but we can’t keep going without a president.”
“I...Fine, I’ll become the president in place of that bastard,” the male sighed, giving in. Honestly, he didn’t want their club to be closed down. It was one of the few things Rei had left behind after his death.
Smiling at the confirmation, the twins seemed to cheer up immensely, “Thank you, Oogami-senpai! You probably think you’re not as good as Sakuma-senpai, right?” Yuta questioned, his hands on his hips.
“...T-That is,” Koga started, turning his gaze away for a moment, “...I’m not as charismatic as that vampire was.”
Was.
But he wasn’t here anymore.
“That’s not true! Oogami-senpai is charismatic too, just in a different way!” Hinata objected, “That’s why Sakuma-senpai liked you so much!”
“...?!” blushing at the compliment, the male turned his head away, unable to take being praise in such a way. Was it really true, had that guy really thought of him as someone charismatic?
Giving a nod, the twins continued, “Yeah! We like Oogami-senpai too!” they agreed, smiling at the other with matching expressions of joy.
“F-Fine..I already said I’d be the damn president, so just stop…!” the embarrassed upperclassman exclaimed, covering the bottom half of his face with his arm.
The two cheered at having gotten what they wanted, throwing out a quick word of thanks and immediately dashing out of the room to inform Mao of the development. They’d have to get all the paperwork done and everything, but they would be able to stay open!
Before they disappeared from sight, though, Yuta turned around, flashing the elder male a small smile, “I’m glad, Oogami-senpai. Sakuma-senpai wouldn’t have wanted you to have kept sitting around listlessly everyday.”
Eyes widening at the words, Koga watched as the other disappeared, feeling something with him become lighter, “...As if I care about what that vampire bastard would have wanted…” he mumbled, though the small smile on his face spoke a different story.
Ritsu had been taking it the hardest.
The male had only shown up to school a handful of times since his brother’s passing, and no one could really blame him for not coming. Rei had fallen unconscious at the school, after all, the place likely only made the teen feel worse. Everyone knew that the pair had been close before the elder had gone away, and that it had only been in the past year that the boy had suddenly decided he didn’t like his brother anymore.
Everyday found the seventeen year old at home, laying on his brother’s bed and refusing to move from the room. His parents had decided it would be better to leave the boy to his own mourning, upset themselves by the passing of their eldest. They knew how close the pair had been just a year previous and wanted to give the younger boy the space he needed for as long as he needed it.
“Nii-chan…” the teen mumbled to himself, pressing his face against the sheets his brother had once laid upon. Even though the elder male had spent many nights at the school rather than home, his scent still lingered on the bedding. The whole room still screamed Rei, and Ritsu couldn’t bring himself to leave it.
Ever since the other had been declared dead at the hospital, the boy had refused to move from the room, coming home and locking himself inside. He hadn’t been in the room since before his brother left, back when the two of them had still gotten along.
Back before he had told his brother to die.
Curling in on himself, the dark-haired teen clutched at the cloth surrounding him, anchoring himself onto the bed. Right. He had killed his brother. Had told the other to go die, to go away forever. Had been the one who could have saved his sibling and failed.
If he had just turned around, if he had just paid a little bit more attention to his brother’s condition, maybe the other would still be here. All along, hadn’t his elder brother just wanted to show he loved him? Sure, Rei had gone to study abroad for a year, but did Ritsu really have the right to treat him so coldly because of it?
How many things had he missed out on in this last year-- in the last year his brother had been alive? If he had known the other would die, had known what was going to occur in the future, would he have treated his sibling better?
The last memory Rei had had of him was the younger telling him to go die. The last memory Rei had had of anyone was of Ritsu telling him to go die.
Guilt ate away at the younger teen, and he could do nothing but curl in on himself ever further, refusing to look up. The blinds had been pulled over the windows, blocking out the sunlight that his older brother had hated so much. While usually the teen would sleep his days away when he had the chance, the boy found it magnificently more difficult to get any sort of rest ever since the incident. He merely sat, locking in the room and staring at the things Rei had once stared at.
He hadn’t even left the room for the funeral.
Going would be admitting that his older brother was really gone, that the male had actually died and was never going to return again. Ritsu couldn’t accept that reality. So he locked himself away, indulging himself in memories of happier days and imagining that he was merely waiting for the other to return home. That Rei hadn’t died, that he was just off studying abroad again. That way, the teen could get annoyed at his older brother, could blame him for leaving and expect for him to return one day.
It was funny, really. Ritsu had refused to affectionately call Rei older brother ever since the other had returned, hating to even be in the elder’s presence. Now, though, the teen had reverted to how he once was. Clinging onto the memories of his deceased sibling, the boy couldn’t bring himself to leave the other’s room. Now that the other was gone, the seventeen year old had no trouble with calling him by the title that the other had so longed for once more.
Where he would have given anything to never see the other again at one point, the boy now would do anything if it meant his brother would just come home again. Even if Rei would cling to him and rub their faces together, going on about how he adored him-- Ritu would be fine with it. No, he would love it. He wanted it, needed it, craved it.
He just wanted his older brother to come back.
“Ritsu!” Mao called out for not the first time, knocking on door as hard as he dared to. This was not his first time the male had come to retrieve his friend, often going to drop off the homework the other had missed every now and then. It helped that they were neighbors and childhood friends, as it wasn’t out of the way for the student council member.
“...”
As per usual, the seventeen year old didn’t respond, continuing to stare listlessly at his brother’s walls in his brother’s room while laying on his brother’s bed. Whether he could hear the other or not while he was so lost in his memories remained unknown to the younger male.
“Hey! Kuma-kun! Come out already! You’re gonna have to repeat a year again if you don’t come to school,” another voice called, the speaker there for the first time. Today, when Mao had been getting ready to go over for his usual attempt to get his childhood friend to come out, the upperclassman had stormed into the classroom, demanding to be taken with him.
The younger male didn’t have the chance to even begin to try and argue, deciding, after a moment’s pause, that it would be better to just allow the other to do what he wanted and come along. Izumi-san was friends with Ritsu, wasn’t he? Perhaps he could help, and if not, it would be difficult to make the situation worse.
Still receiving no response, the lighter-haired male grumbled in annoyance, banging on the door as hard as he could, “Hey, Kuma-kun! Come out!”
After yet another bout of silence, the impatient boy had enough. Turning the knob, the male banged his shoulder against the wooden barrier, working to force it open. Mao blanched at the sudden violent actions, turning to face the other with an incredulous expression, “I-Izumi-san?! What are you doing?”
“If Kuma-kun won’t come out, I’ll just make him,” the other replied easily, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“But the door--” the younger replied, worried about the damages to the home. Not to mention it was damage to Sakuma-san’s room.
With a grunt, the male managed to force the door open, pushing open the wooden barrier and almost falling into the room. He managed to catch himself at the last moment, stepping into the darkened room with steady steps.
“Kuma-kun,” he spoke, staring at the lump lying on the bed.
“Ritsu...please come back to school...you can’t miss another day, you’ll have to repeat the year again,” Mao begged, following after the senior into the room uncertainly.
Still getting no response, Izumi felt his annoyance grow, going over to the other, “Kuma-kun, get up already. You smell disgusting, you haven’t moved from here at all, have you?” it was a rhetorical question, but Ritsu still gave no response that he was even aware the other two were in the room.
Fed up, the lighter-haired teen reached forward, throwing the lighter student over his shoulder. The sixteen year old that had accompanied him could only blanch once more, following the other as he carried his friend over his shoulder, “Izumi-san, where are you--”
“Where’s the bathroom?” the other cut him off, never having come to this house before. He was going to get Kuma-kun to snap out of it even if it was the last thing he did. Knights just wasn’t the same without him.
Pausing for a moment, the younger replied, “It...should be that door over there,” he spoke slowly, gesturing towards the room two doors down to the left across the hall.
Without so much as a nod, the taller strode over to the room, throwing the door open and stalking in. Mao followed after, worried yet curious about the upperclassman was going to do. As he entered behind the door, the sound of running water filled the room, spilling out into the hallway. Before the boy could protest, the elder had thrown Ritsu into the bath, watching with a frown as the other sat in the freezing water.
“...What?” the seventeen year old finally responded, surprised to suddenly find himself sitting in freezing cold water. Looking up, he was startled to see both his childhood friend and fellow Knights member standing there looking at him.
“Ritsu--” Mao began, only to be cut off as Izumi spoke over him.
“Kuma-kun. You smell like trash. You look horrible. You need to get out of bed and come back to school,” the male continued to frown, tone leaving no room for argument.
“...”
Upon still receiving no response, the third year made to move forward, only to be stopped by Mao. Stepping forward, the younger boy spoke with a stern expression, “Ritsu, you need to stop this. Sakuma-san wouldn’t want to see you like this.”
“...Wouldn’t want it?” Ritsu spoke, keeping his gaze shadowed, “What does it matter what he would want? Big brother is dead now. Because of me,” the boy paused, red eyes widening. Yes, that’s right. It was his fault his brother had died. He had been the one to say such a cruel thing-- to tell his elder sibling to go die. Still refusing to meet either of their gazes’, the male continued, “I’m the one who told him to go die. In the end, it’s all my fault. I told him to go away forever, and he did. He’s never coming back because of me.”
“Ritsu…” Mao started again, only to once more be cut-off by his senior’s scoff.
“Your fault? Don’t be an idiot,” Izumi sneered, looking down at the other with something one could almost call disgust, “Were you the cause of his anemia? Did you take his medication?”
“...No, but I-” the other began, only for his fellow Knight to speak over him.
“No. You didn’t kill your brother, his disease did. Now shut up and get the hell out of that bathtub. Do you really think that weirdo of a brother of yours would want you to mope over him?” crossing his arms, the lighter-haired boy continued, “You said that kind of stuff to him all the time. That guy would care more about you crying over his death than any of the cold words you said to him.”
“...” Ritsu couldn’t reply, knowing that what Izumi said was true. His brother adored him, there was no way that the other would have wanted his beloved sibling to be moping as he was. While it was true the boy did say those things to his brother all the time, that didn’t make it any less wrong he had been so cruel. He still felt horrible for being so cold to his brother right before he had passed away, but...perhaps he really couldn’t put the whole of the blame on himself.
“Ritsu, please come back to school,” Mao asked, bending down to meet his friend who still sat in the cold water.
“...Alright,” the other responded after a beat, closing his eyes. If it was what his brother would want, and he knew it was, he would do it.
The next day, for the first time in three weeks, Ritsu Sakuma stepped outside of his house.
A month later found the boy standing in a cemetery, staring at the familiar characters engraved onto the tombstone before him.
朔間 零
It had taken him almost two months, but the seventeen year old had finally managed to come visit his brother’s memorial site. For a long while he stood, silently reading the characters over and over again in his mind. He had gone back to school just as he had promised, though he would still skip out on classes now and again to nap. That was a habit he could never break.
“...I’m sorry for telling you to die,” he started, “...and for everything else I said to you since you came back.”
The apology was long overdue, but at least it was there. Unsure of how to continue, the boy let his thoughts wander a bit, “...I was upset that you left me alone for so long. We used to always be together and you suddenly left…”
He trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment. The teen took another long pause, memories rushing to meet him of days long gone, spent happily with his brother. They had gotten along well before the other had left, after all. It hadn’t been long since Ritsu had come to “hate” his brother.
“...Sorry, nii-chan.”
The boy felt a smile tugging at his face, imagining what his elder sibling were to say if he were here, “Are you happy now? I finally called you what you wanted, annoying nii-chan.”
“...Rest in peace, nii-chan.”