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With a heavy sigh, C.C. plops down on the couch in her hotel room, squeezing her eyes shut as she lifts her feet and rests them on the coffee table.
C.C. Babcock couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. Alone in a huge room with no strong arms around her. Since she began her relationship with Niles, they have never been separated under any circumstances. Their trips to the kitchen became more frequent, the burns took a more nurturing and daring turn, while their encounters grew more passionate and loving.
She would sometimes sneak out the back kitchen door and get into bed with him, and it wasn't even for their sexual activities. It was the delight of lying together and talking, tickling each other or teasing or just holding each other all night in the darkness of the room. The delicious sensation of waking up in her lover's arms holding her against his chest every weekend morning (when Maxwell decided to give Niles days off).
She adored Friday nights, when she came home from the theater, to find him sitting on her sofa reading a book, stroking Chester in a ball on his lap, gasping with delight. It seemed ineffable to her to explain how domestic he looked in that position in her attic.
Her heart swelled at the thought of being greeted by someone—and not her dog—after a long day at work.
It was that same idea that cruelly hit her when she entered her hotel room that night and found it empty. Neither did the Pomeranian's paws running to greet her. Niles had insisted on keeping the little one, so as not to overwhelm her. Although the dog would certainly be better company at that moment than a frozen suite.
“Damn business trip.” She cursed in an exhausting groan.
It will only be two weeks in Los Angeles to discuss the TV show and then she would return to the comfort of being in the arms of her butler. It was barely the fifth day and it seemed like torture. Niles joked about it, betting that she would be the first to give up and make the call; of course, she would never admit her abundant desire for him, though she doubted she could endure any more hours without even hearing his voice.
Should she bow down her pride and call him? Her eyes widened with a heaviness on her lids. She looked around her room, thinking of something to do to pass the time. She'd probably find something fun to do, of course, without Niles' presence.
“Let's see…”
Eat…
No. She had no appetite, she didn't take a bite from the business dinner a few hours ago. Besides, trying to eat something would be too painful. Niles was in charge of cleaning all her uncertainties with caresses and kisses in each favorite corner of her body, fighting her insecurities about her weight. But without him there, her demands would come back to haunt her.
Niles would be angry if they regressed with their progress.
Read...
Impossible. She would be unable to concentrate on reading, and the closest thing to reading she would get would be the show's scripts, the last thing she wanted at that moment. She was fed up with that trip. C.C. wanted to be distracted, not stressed. The closest thing to “light reading” would be her passport, but even that would be painful.
The fact that she had to get on a plane to see, caress, hug and kiss her lover, her lover, disturbed her.
Sleep...
Please. That wouldn't help. She'd probably dream about Niles and not exactly have “dreams.” When she was away from him, her mind seemed to play cruelly; usually, she always had the same nightmare about his heart attack where he never woke up after that... Or that one with a possible situation where Niles quit, he fled the country and she never saw him again.
That would trigger an anxiety attack. She didn't want that, because he wouldn't be there to hold her.
Go for a walk...
She had just returned to her room, practically running away from Maxwell. Leaving him alone with a bunch of misogynistic investors. She didn't even bother arguing with them.
She's too tired to talk to brainless men.
Chat with a friend...
You're kidding, aren't you? Friends? The only one was in New York. She was just running away from the insistence of calling him.
Take a shower…
She laughs at the idea. THAT certainly wouldn't help her forget Niles.
“Dammit, what does it matter?”
When she got together with Niles she learned to put pride aside, however, he would always be at her feet even if she gave in to her need. She jumped up, half propelled by her right leg, and made her way to her bedroom, determined to make herself more comfortable before calling him out. When she was in her pajamas, she wavered for a few minutes about whether it was still a good idea. She was aware of the time; he should already be in bed.
But a little midnight call would be fine for both of them.
She lay back on the king size bed and dialed the phone in Niles' room. It took several seconds, until it was cut off. C.C. frowned.
Oh, if that butler boy dared to have fun without her, she would kill him as soon as she set foot in New York.
She thought of calling Sheffield Mansion. Surely Nanny Fine would respond immediately, being the nosiest yenta in Queens. Gossiping with her would get Dust Mop's attention.
However, she was surprised when the phone was also not answered. Something was up. She was beginning to worry as she dialed for the second time.
Would an accident be possible? Absurd. Maxwell would already be on a plane back to the mansion if something happened with Nanny Fine… And he would have called…
Her musing was interrupted by the common beep of an unanswered call. She immediately sat up on the bed, her hair standing on end and a cold sweat forming behind the nape of her neck.
Third time's the charm.
If no one answered, then she would buy plane tickets, abandon her business partner in that desert, and see what the hell was going on with her lover.
She was already expecting to see Maxwell breaking down her door, yelling at her to change plans and his unexpected return to the city, when that baritone voice she loved came through the phone's speaker in a thick british accent.
“Sheffield Residence. How can I help you?” She heard him on the other end of the line, in a downcast and exhausted tone.
C.C. let out a sigh that she didn't know she was holding. A relief seemed to spread in her room. The heat returned to her body almost frozen from her nerves.
“Hello? Still there?” He seemed irritated.
Busy day, she thought. C.C. could feel it in his voice.
“Um, baby, it's me...” She said cautiously, in a harmonious voice.
“Oh honey!” He exclaimed on a gasp of belated realization. “I wasn't expecting your call.”
She heard a nervous laugh and figured it probably caught him off guard. “Sorry I couldn't answer right away... I was busy with Mrs. Sheffield...”
Ah. That explained everything.
“No, don't worry, lover. I can hear it in your voice,” She replied as her gaze drifted to the clock on her nightstand. “I hope I'm not intrusive.” She lamented.
She hated disturbing him when he was busy. A feeling of guilt crossed her face at the thought of her selfishness for interrupting him in his work.
Niles caught her attention again.
“You'd never be a problem, Babs.” C.C. could feel him smirking against the phone. “In any case, it would be Mrs. Sheffield and the children...”
“Girls day?” She tries to guess, leaning against the head of the bed.
“Worse,” he moaned. “I had to take Mrs. Sheffield to the supermarket, then I picked up Miss Grace to her ballet class, took master Brighton to his basket practice. When I got back I did double duty, Sylvia devoured all the reserve I left for lunch. Then... well,” he was hesitating to continue. She could practically picture him scratching the back of his neck. “Umm, they sent me back to the supermarket for Yetta… I forgot her there for carrying the shopping bags…”
“Ow, lover!” She gasped, feeling the exhaustion of the man from where she was. “God, I hate when Nanny Fine takes advantage of you like that.”
And she was very serious. C.C. hated in more ways than one, even long before they were together, that he had to tend to Sylvia and Yetta. He was Maxwell's butler, not half Fine family butler. Perhaps she was jealousy at having to share her zinger friend with them, but now she simply felt anger at the thought of how underpaid her lover was for all the exhausting work he did.
She had to admit it: That home was still standing thanks to him.
“Well, Babs, you take advantage of me too and it doesn't seem to bother you.” She heard him chuckle. Also while he was walking through one of the halls of the mansion.
“That's different, Niles,” she replied harshly. “I'm dating you and I don't use you for domestic matters, rather for other fun and exhausting purposes, which we won't discuss now,” there was annoyance in her voice. “Nanny Fine wants you to cater to all of her strange relatives in Queens.”
Niles felt reprimanded. Like a little boy, but that couldn't matter anymore when the word “dating” reached his heart. C.C.'s concern showed him that he wasn't another lover just for fun and exhausted purposes for her.
Now, it's more.
“I'm sorry, love...” He entered the kitchen. “This is very difficult.”
“With everything you had to do for the Sheffields…” She brought her legs up to her chest, tucking the phone to her ear.
“I was referring to your absence...”
C.C. softened at that and remembered her main objective in calling.
How she loved the man.
“I miss you too, Butler Boy.”
“I miss you, C.C., more than I can bear.”
Niles sat in a chair at the kitchen table, his jaw propped in the palm of his hand and an exhausted smile on his face.
“That's why I called, Niles,” she sighed. “I was too worried when you didn't answer.”
“Oh, that, I was feeding Mom's little demon. Chester's been irritable all day,” he said as he looked at the dog.
“Was it a charge?”
“No, but he resists eating. He's more focused on playing around and teasing me.”
C.C. laughs with all the intention of upsetting the butler. “At least someone there misses me.”
“Babcock...” he snapped in a warning tone.
“I'm just kidding, Niles.”
“It seems that you didn't miss me that much either, you haven't called since you left...” He glances out the kitchen window and watches as the rain begins to fall.
Her face flushes a light red with a big smile on her face, which she is momentarily buried in her pajama pants.
“Niles, don't even think about it... Of course I miss you, I need to hear your voice... I miss you here...”
“Mm, Babs, you must know that this dependency... Really turns me on,” Niles said teasingly. “See? I was right when I said you would give in.”
“You'd better put your jokes aside, Rubbermaid. If you don't want to get hung up on the line.”
“I'm not kidding, Babcock.”
Before their conversation could turn into something more satisfying, a loud clap of thunder shook the house. Then a light comes on in the head of the producer. Leering at her clock, she stirs in sweltering emotion on her bed and can't stop the sentence that slips from her lips before thinking twice.
“Uhm, lover, are you free?”
“Of course. You can be sure you didn't interrupt anything exciting,” he answered immediately, terrified that their conversation would end too soon or she'd decide to make good on her promise to leave him hanging.
“In that case, Hazel, go upstairs to your room, turn on your computer and go to Skype, I'll be waiting for you...”
Niles straightens in place. He could hear C.C.'s playful tone and that wakes him up more successfully than the coffee brewing in the pot behind him. He mumbles a very lazy “yes”; he is too overwhelmed to organize his mind, find his tongue and say something coherent.
He knows what Skype is, Miss Grace taught him how to use it. The thought of seeing her excites him, he's not even able to put it into words. C.C. says goodbye and he just nods before hanging up. He couldn't even answer her, he was sure gibberish would come out of his mouth.
He jumps to his feet, as if he's been propelled by a spring. He looks jovial and full of joy. If Mrs. Sheffield had seen him, she'd be impressed by his speed. Niles put the phone back in its place, turned off all the kitchen appliances, and headed for the switch by the stairs. He took a look around.
He lied. He still had things to do, but he longed to speak with C.C. and he didn't want to make her wait.
Not when she was the one who took the initiative to call him.
“My work here is done...”
And with that, he turn off the lights, and runs up the stairs in the direction of his room.
Stepping out of the shower with damp hair, dressed in a white T-shirt, black sweatpants, and the towel around his neck, he heads to his desk and opens his computer. It used to belong to Brighton. But when Maxwell gave him a new one, it was left to Niles in perfect condition as a gift.
Niles placed the camera that came in the gift box and hurried to open the application on his computer. A moan escaped his lips, as he ran his hand over his neck, bruised by the day's activity. While he waited for the application to start, he seriously considered staying at his desk, sitting on a wooden chair, further breaking his back, or getting into bed and enjoying the conversation without worrying the blonde.
After thinking about it, Niles took the computer and lay half sitting on the bed, his back resting on the pillows. A moan of pleasure echoed through his room as the pillows softened his fall onto the mattress. The screen begins to go to standby, connecting with the attached camera. Which gave him time to sniff C.C.'s pillow next to him.
Yes, he had designated her a pillow.
A wave of emotion washed over him. C.C.'s smell was still there, impregnated; he knew that, somehow, he must have washed it already, mostly for hygiene. But it was the only thing that managed to help him fall asleep. He thought about going to C.C.'s penthouse and sneaking into her bed, but he knew it wouldn't be the same if she wasn't there.
Then a sound told him that he was ready to start the call.
As a second confirmation, the username, “C.C. BABCOCK” jumped on the screen. Niles blushed when he remembered that, at this point, she found out his real name. With a deep breath, he accepted the request and C.C.'s image was displayed on the screen. An ear-to-ear smile spread across her face, she could light up a dark room.
“So... Edward E. Niles.”
Niles looked away, slightly embarrassed, moving the computer. He heard her chuckle quietly.
“What's that 'E' for?” C.C. asks.
“Means 'Ezel'...” he growls sulking. “That's not fair! Now you know my secret, but I don't know yours.”
“I like it,” she said. “I don't know why you don't.”
“Well, there are things that you like that others don't.”
“Like a certain hunky butler.” C.C. smiled at him.
Niles smiled back. He arranged the computer on his lap, to have a better image for her and C.C. will be able to see from his chest up, along with his shoulders and neck, which she loves so much. When he turns to the screen again, she is quiet and brings a rosy hue to her cheeks.
“C.C.?”
“Whoa! Butler Boy,” it's hard for her at first,“ you look very sexy like that, a pity I'm not there to enjoy it.”
He laughs self centered. He loved it when, even though she would remind him of his position in life, she would compliment him on who he really was.
“Well, if you'd let me see you, I could return the favor.”
C.C. nods without taking her gaze from his eyes, and begins to settle into the bed.
“Although, Niles, it's not a favor,” she says, sitting in a slightly reclined position. Just like him, she was sitting on the bed, and now the laptop is on her lap, allowing him a better view. “That's a compliment.”
He looked at her carefully and searched her pajamas; a gray sweatshirt (his, of course), her hair tied up in a ponytail. He cocked his head at her. He would like to hold her, since of course the cold has forced her to use it.
“In that case, thank you... And I can certainly say the same, witch.”
Niles's mouth opens and closes before he shakes his head, like he's having trouble processing what he's seeing. It is obvious to her that even from the other side of the country she can turn him on.
“Although...” he wakes up hoarsely. “I do recognize that sweatshirt.”
“And I recognize that pillow, Hazel.”
Niles pales when he notices the pillow under his arm. He must have forgotten it when he sniffed it. When he looks at her, C.C. raises an eyebrow. He can't tell if she's expecting an answer.
“I was lonely.” He pouts.
C.C. stirs when she hears it. A shiver of anticipation runs through her, a fantasy in her mind vaguely passing. She swallows hard.
“Lover, I don't think you're aware of how triggering that is.”
“Oh, believe me Babcock, I'm aware... and it's what you imagine.”
C.C. feels the muscles in her legs tense. She can clearly see him playing with the pillow to please himself (that fantasy is haunting her). She chokes on the thought as she fidgets in the butler's sweatshirt. The man was playing with fire. She wouldn't touch herself in any way, much less in front of him, it would only increase his petulance.
And not just that. This bastard.
“Stop it, Hazel, you're too tired and I doubt you'll be able to stand for the next thing.”
Niles lets out a laugh. As tempting as the idea of distance sex may sound, she was right. He was exhausted, although having C.C. with him on the call gave him energy, he was afraid he would fall asleep in the middle of a groping session. It would be embarrassing for him and frustrating for her. “I have to agree with you on that...”
“I'm still upset with Nanny Fine.”
“Maybe you've forgotten, but I work for Mrs. Sheffield now.” He accentuates the title, raising his eyebrows in her direction. “Like it or not, I must attend them.”
“I'd talk to Maxwell about that, but I don't think he'll listen. I wish you'd seen him today, a real hunk, ignoring that he's a married man with five children.” She snorts, adjusting the sweatshirt.
Niles looked surprised as he took the towel and dried his semi-damp hair.
“Believe me, I've been running away from Maxwell for hours.”
“Woah, Miss Babcock. Two weeks ago you would be delighted with that.”
“You already said it, two weeks ago,” she raised an eyebrow. “And even if it were the same as before, I would still avoid being near him.”
“Hmm, business dinner?”
She smiled. He knows her just as well as she knows him. Niles stripped off his towel and tossed it on the chair at his desk.
“You look better that way, Rochester. You should take off that thing that covers your chest.” She winked at him.
“Babcock, stay focused!”
“I'm trying. But certainly your comments and appearance don't help.”
“You just want to see me naked,” he replied with a raised eyebrow. “And I remind you, it was you who stopped me.”
“Okay, one point to you.”
“Thank you...” He raised an eyebrow. “Sooo, Mr. Sheffield flirted with the ladies...?”
“Not even that, he seemed more flirtatious with investors. I'll never understand. It was so... Boring and awkward.”
“Mr. Sheffield flirting with men?” He recoiled in surprise.
“No. All of him. I don't even know what I found so appealing about him. The man can be charming, but if he pretends not to see the things around him, he does it very well.” C.C. tugged at the drawstrings of the sweatshirt to pull it tighter, taking a deep breath to smell the scent of Niles' lotion soaked into the sweatshirt.
Niles laughs, grateful to see her get over that part of her life.
“Trust me, he's not faking it. That's how he is.”
“There's no way!” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “There can't be such a clueless man on this earth, Niles.”
“And then God made Maxwell Sheffield.” Niles pointed to the wall with his extended thumb. “And two things are yet to come.”
“I don't know if I want them to come out like their father or their mother.”
They took a second to think about it, and after a few seconds of imagining, they both shuddered.
“Imagine that actually it's me who will take care of them.” He hugs the pillow, letting out a tired grunt.
“I can only imagine you preparing a feast for the stomachs of those children.”
A chill runs through Niles from the back of his neck to the tip of his feet. “Take it back, Babcock. Think in sponsor parties...”
“Oh God. It will be the same as tonight...”
“M'yeah. Talking about food. Did you at least eat something?” He changed the subject, turning away from the storm of nerves that was stalking him.
“Ugh... Anyway, that reminds me that Maxwell seemed pleased to be staying with the investors for—”
Niles interrupted her, using the same reproachful tone she'd used on him earlier when they'd spoken on the phone. “C.C., I'm serious...”
She sighed resignedly. She couldn't fool him even if she wanted to. C.C. reached over to put on the cap of his sweatshirt and hugged herself.
“I had lunch this afternoon. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat a bite at dinner.”
“C.C., you must—” he stopped when he heard a noise outside the room. He turned to the closed door, fearful that it was Fran.
“Baby? Something happened?”
“Huh?” He looked at her again, his face distorted. “No, I just… I heard something, would you wait for me?”
“Sure, lover. Go.”
He nodded and pushed the computer aside, setting it on the bed and walking towards the door. C.C. listened as he walked away.
The butler pressed his ear against the wood of the door. He heard the scratching of tiny claws followed by a bark. Niles rushed to open the door and let Chester in, before he woke up everyone in the house.
“Look who's here...” Niles whispered.
“Lover? Are you still there?” She asked. C.C. could barely make out any strange sounds as Niles sat back up in bed with a tired gasp.
Then she could hear Chester growling. “Excuse me, sweetheart,” the camera panned to him, now holding the Pomeranian in his left arm. “Someone's been very irritable without mommy present.”
“I told you there would be no problem bringing it with me.” She laughed sardonically. “You are stubborn, Dust Buster.”
“You cannot deny that this stubbornness has given you much pleasure, Witch.”
Chester barks at the end of Niles's sentence, making itself known to its owner. The dog fidgets on the butler's arm as if he wants to jump on the laptop and go meet C.C.
“Come on, buddy, hold still for once in a day...” Niles said, turning his head to the Pomeranian.
“Chester, stop pestering Dad and be a good boy.” The producer rebuked, making sure the animal would hear her.
Niles instinctively raises his head at the word: “Dad.” An image crossed his mind; him carrying their baby. A fantasy where he is rightly called a father. His heart swells with the beautiful fantasy.
Niles wants to be the father of C.C.'s children, just as he wants her to be the mother of his children. He wouldn't take it otherwise. He can hear C.C. scolding Chester, but the smile on his face is still there. The idea of her also considering him as Chester's owner excites him. First “dating” , and now “dad”.
“I hope that's enough.” She finished.
“It will be, I hope he deigns to eat. I brought his food, bed and toys to my room,” After a long silence, Niles continues. “We have many things in common...”
“Like what?” Says between chuckles. She has a good zinger, she just needs him response to launch it.
“No one of us can be fine without you here.”
He replied, leaving the dog on the ground, next to the bowl of food intact from a few hours ago. C.C. swallows the zinger. She can't even throw it with Niles being soft and fluffy with her. He is showing himself vulnerable in front of her. A zinger can hurt him and send the conversation to hell.
“Finally! I thought the poor animal would starve to death.” Niles was looking at the dog.
She bursts out laughing and the butler's heart flutters in his chest. He's glad it's not another heart attack.
How he loved the woman.
“Like a certain lady I know.”
“Oh, let it go, Hazel. Nobody noticed that, not even Maxwell.”
Niles's jaw clenched. “Of course not. He only cares about his works, that damn spoiled child. He—”
“He doesn't love me the way you love me.” C.C. interrupted, a smile lighting up her face. She hugged herself tighter.
“Yeah... I know I've probably overwhelmed you with that, but you should know, C.C. Babcock, they don't love you the way I love you.” His eyes lock onto C.C.'s, showing himself naked, weak and overflowing his soul for her.
“I love you, C.C.”
There are a few traces of fresh tears in her eyes. Niles wants to be there, holding her tight, burying his face in her hair while he hides her in his chest, shielding C.C. from her cruel nightmares about his heart attack or the resignation.
He is aware that this was the main reason for her call. Putting off her nap.
“My God, Niles... Don't mention it if you can't be here to hold me while you say it.”
“I understand the feeling, darling. I miss you even in my dreams. I miss waking up with you trapped in my arms, your smell on my sheets, the warmth of your body against mine in our hugs... Our talks.”
“Niles, I miss you so much...”
He would normally swagger. It's impossible for him now, when he feels the same as her, and even miserable.
“Put the computer on your right, dear.”
C.C. looks at him confused, however, she refrains from questioning and obeys. Now he can see her lying on her huge bed, covered by his sweatshirt, her pants and hugging herself. After a few seconds, she watches him do the same thing. The image of him warms her room, she feels like he's somehow on her right side of the bed. Niles is laying on his side, his arm holding his head.
“Now... see? We're together again.”
C.C. smiled happily, with a feeling of peace that she barely knew until she started dating Niles.
“This is the part where I usually hug you to my chest... Although this will be fine, won't it, darling?”
C.C. nods against the pillow; she was surprised to find out that she was a great hugger. A facet that she was unaware of; later realized that this side only appeared if she could share it with Niles. No one else.
“It's so cold outside without you.” She murmured.
“The same here…” he answers, looking in front of him, towards the windows, “it's weird. Did you send this blizzard for me, Ice Queen?”
“So you can remember me, Lemon Fresh,” she laughs softly. “I don't think you have time though...”
“Oh darling, I must have bored you with my adventures at the mansion today.”
“You can bet, Niles, you were more entertaining than Peter Colman talking about his horses...”
“And you can bet, Miss Babcock, you were the best of this awful day.” He smiles warmly at her, his eyes shining with love.
“Every day is the same without you, Rochester.”
“Just as boring?” He tilts his head, intrigued.
“Just as sad...” She replies laboriously. Her concerns about their past were reflected. C.C. avoids her lover's blue eyes as she vents. “They seem like a bad dream, as if those nightmares came true and this conversation is the dream. I felt... so alone when I didn't find you when I entered the room.”
Niles' heart crumples. He wanted to be there with her.
“Hey, Babs...” He softly calls.
C.C. looks at him.
“Ditto.”
They smile warmly at each other, and then it really doesn't seem like a thousand miles separate them. C.C. feels the warm of Niles' arms (thanks to his sweatshirt) surrounding her, and Niles smells C.C. on him (thanks to her pillow).
And then, they're together, sharing a bed. They really don't need to talk anymore. They just remain silent, under the darkness of the room spending time with their lover as usual.
For one more night.
Their nightly routine is repeated: lying in bed, talking, making jokes... together.
Again.
Neither of them knows who fell asleep first. C.C. only remembers humming a song, when Niles yawned and moved in his place; she was very focused on how his stomach rose and fell with each breath, afraid that at some point it would stop doing it. That lulled her to sleep, assuring her that he would be, as always, there with her at sunrise.
It's the middle of the night, as C.C. settles in bed, suddenly aware of a quiet breath coming from the image on her computer, and her sleepy eyes widen to see the image of Niles, embracing Chester, with her pillow under his head and a serene smile on his face.
The words slip from her lips in a mantra, like the most delicious reflection.
“I love you Niles.”