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Beatrice is reading a book when Ava comes home, looking tired and battered from work. Usually, Beatrice is the one that comes home later and leaves earlier, but today, Ava told her that she needed to work overtime and get some things done, which of course, Beatrice didn’t mind – Ava’s job was important after all and as much as she wanted to see her girlfriend, it could wait for later – she didn’t want Ava losing her job (though she could easily support them both, but Ava had said she didn’t want to feel bored at home and wanted to be useful, so who was Beatrice to decline her?)
Beatrice glanced at the page number, mentally noting the page before standing up and greeting Ava with a kiss on her forehead. Ava barely gave her a small hum before retreating to their room, probably to shower and then rest.
Beatrice found that weird, usually no matter how tired Ava was, she didn’t shrug off any physical intimacy and always reciprocated at least some, if not more. Beatrice wanted to ask her girlfriend if anything was wrong, but she heard the shower turn on and decided it could wait till after that. She mused Ava must be in a bit of a grumpy mood, so she took down some ice cream to soften and made some stress relieving tea (she supposed if Ava didn’t want it, she could have it).
After 15 minutes, she hears the water turn off, just in time for the ice cream to have melted slightly to a spoon-scoopable consistency and the tea to be just warm enough to drink without scalding. Ava comes out of the room wearing a pair of sweatpants and a short sleeve shirt. Double weird, usually Ava liked to steal one of Beatrice’s tops (especially her crewnecks or hoodies from school) but today she was wearing her own.
“Hey love, I made some stress-relieving tea for you and defrosted a little ice cream, you looked like you needed it,” Beatrice said, approaching the shorter woman as Ava threw her clothes into the hamper.
“Okay, thanks.” Ava’s answer was short and curt, which was the third thing that caught Beatrice off guard since Ava came home today. She frowned, “Ava, is anything the matter? Did I do something wrong?”
Ava’s movements halted in her tracks, her walk to the kitchen island put on hold. Ava’s back was facing Beatrice, but Beatrice could still see her shoulders tensing.
Beatrice came closer, “Hey, do you want to talk about it? Or we can just cuddle…”
Ava turned around suddenly, head snapping in front of Beatrice’s face. “Beatrice, we have to break up.”
Beatrice’s frown turned upwards, turning from worry to shock, “I-I beg your pardon?”
“We need to break up.” Ava repeated, her eyes looking down to the ground.
Beatrice laughed, “This is some kind of joke, right? Come on Ava, not funny.”
Ava was silent.
Ava was never silent during their fights.
Alarm bells started to go off in Beatrice's head.
Ava was never silent during their fights.
“Ava talk to me. This is some kind of prank, right? Well, not a good prank, love, not humoured.”
Ava shook her head, “sorry Beatrice, not a prank.”
Ava never used Beatrice. Ava always used Bea. Or booboo. Or love. Or baby.
“Why? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you in some way? I’ll fix it, Ava, I’ll apologise, I’ll do-”
“Beatrice.”
That immediately made Beatrice stop her ramble, her breath shaky, and tears already forming at the corners of her eyes. She didn’t know what she did to gather a whole break up, but she would do anything to fix amends and build back Ava’s trust.
Anything.
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then w-why?”
“I fell out of love with you.”
It felt like ice-cold water had been poured onto Beatrice’s head at Ava’s admission, her breaths turning heavy as she started to hyperventilate, “W-what do you mean you fell out of love with me? Just yesterday we were just watching movies on the couch and stargazing together.”
Ava was silent, eyes never lifting from the floor and hands hidden behind her back.
Beatrice swallowed, feeling the tears beginning to fall, “when?” Her voice cracked, her heart shattering into a million tiny shards.
“Been almost 3 months, Bea. I tried to wait it out, see if it was just a random weird phase in my relationship with you, but it didn’t pass. I didn’t want to continue reeling you in.”
“H-how?”
Ava chuckled a little then, pain in her voice, “I’m sorry Beatrice, but I guess I’m just a good actress.”
Beatrice couldn’t believe what she was hearing, 3 months? 3 months of Ava not loving her and pretending, how could she be so blind to it? She tried so hard to rack her brain for any indicative signs of Ava’s feelings these past months, but she couldn’t. Was she really so blind, was her love for Ava making her cloud the signs?
“And uh…I got a job offer in the US, so I’m moving there. They pay extra good and there are a lot of benefits too. I just figured to take the job since it’s gonna be awkward staying together after our break up. I mean yes, I could go back to my place but I would have to kick Deigo and his family out, which is sad ‘cause their plight is bad enough, so I thought imma just continue renting to them and then just move to the US.” Ava looked up now, a small smile on her lips, and her hands scratching the nape of her neck.
Beatrice didn’t know if the smile was meant to be reassuring.
At extended silence, Ava nodded to herself, hands clasping at the front and rocking at the ball of her feet, “I’ll start packing and move out tomorrow evening, but for tonight I can sleep on the couch,” Ava laughed, “I mean I broke up with you anyway. I’ll just stay at a hotel until my flight to the US, which is in 4 days by the way.”
“How long have you been planning this, Ava?” Beatrice didn’t stop the tears from falling now, her hands hugging herself in comfort as her legs felt weak, static in her ears.
Ava shrugged, “a while.”
Beatrice’s mind was blank, her lower lip quivering and finally letting out a sob.
Beatrice saw Ava’s hand instinctively reaching out, rekindling her hope that maybe this was all just an elaborate prank or some sick joke that Ava was playing on her. But Ava pulled back and clenched her fist at her sides, seemingly to stop herself, to remind herself that they were no longer a couple.
Oh.
No longer a couple.
Beatrice cried harder now, unable to stop the tears from streaming or the sounds ripping from her throat. Ava looked like she was about to cry too.
Well, Ava usually started crying when someone else was crying.
“I’m sorry Bea. I really am. I’m sorry.” Ava said, before turning her back on Beatrice again, walking away.
“No.”
Ava stopped walking, turning around as she spoke, “Bea-”
“No, I don’t believe you.”
Beatrice’s expression was blank as her hands rubbed away the tears.
“Is it my parents? Did they threaten you to stay away? Because I know they are not approving of our relationship, but we will fight them off together, you don’t have to lie to me like this.”
Ava didn’t respond.
“It’s my parents, isn’t it? I’m going to call them right now and give them an earful.” Beatrice immediately started walking towards the coffee table to retrieve her phone, but Ava held her wrist to stop her.
“I really fell out of love with you.”
“Fine.” Beatrice growled, shrugging Ava’s hand off her wrist as she turned harshly, “Look me dead in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”
“I already said it.”
“No. It’s not the same. You’re lying to me. I know. Tell me you don’t love me, look at me while doing it, not like earlier, then I’ll believe you.”
Ava swallowed, her eyes closing as a sigh escaped from her chest. Beatrice was about to call her bluff when Ava’s eyes opened, nut brown meeting chocolate, “I do not love you, Beatrice Young.”
And then Ava turned around and left the apartment, leaving Beatrice’s heart in her wake.