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Her phone vibrated on the island top, her phone screen lighting up to show the caller ID of the person attempting to contact her.
Beatrice nestled her glass and spared the phone not even a glance, as her fingers gripped the glass tighter the longer the phone rang. When it finally stopped, she knocked back the amber liquid.
Her phone vibrated again. Softer this time. Less intense. A text message instead of a call. Two. Three. Four. Then her phone screen turned off and the sounds stopped.
A large part of her wished it was Ava, but hell, the girl just broke up with her, why would she be texting?
The rational part knew Ava had to come back, eventually, within those 4 days, to pack her things and get ready to leave for the US. That part was not helping the irrational feeling of wanting Ava to come back and tell her everything she said was a lie.
Her door clicks open then, and her red eyes meet panicked ones. Ava is panting hard now, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her shoulders shaking slightly, her eyes blinking as if she had just seen a ghost.
Beatrice can’t help but scoff, pouring herself another cup of bourbon, “Back so soon Ava? Did your flight get pushed back earlier?”
She doesn’t hide the venom and hurt in her words.
Ava drops to the floor then, on her knees as her body shakes, “It’s happening…It’s fucking happening…”
The hackles on Beatrice’s back rises now, she’s never seen Ava this distraught since one of her nightmares, and even those have reduced drastically since they started staying together and opening up about it. Her overwhelming need to be close and there for Ava replaces the sour taste in her body at the breakup, and she immediately leaves the alcohol for Ava, if not as a lover, as her best friend (or at least she hopes she still is).
She pulls her in as Ava sobs into her shoulder, drenching her shirt. Albeit her confusion and her pain, she hugs Ava back and cradles her head and just lets her cry until she can speak.
When her back is numb from her weird angle and Ava’s crying has reduced to a trickle, she pulls Ava into her lap and sits against the door of their- her apartment. The acrimony comes back in full force once Ava meets her eyes for the second time that evening, and Beatrice clenches her teeth to stop herself from pushing Ava off her lap.
“Why did you come back, Ava.”
Her words do not waver.
“I- D-did you see the news?” Ava’s frenzied eyes return and her back straightens, her breath is coming back harder now. Beatrice reckons her grief can be put aside for another few moments. She cradles Ava’s face in her palm, eyes softening, “Ava, breathe, please?”
She takes hard breaths in, her mouth gulping down air like she has been drowning for far too long under the surface.
“T-The papers, they say it’s doomsday and buttons been pressed, everyone’s on edge, everyone’s ‘bout to nuke each other up,” Ava speaks quickly now, like she’s afraid if she speaks any slower, it’ll become a reality far too soon and they’ll miss the time they are having right now.
Beatrice clenches her teeth, “…why?”
“I don’t know, I immediately came back when I saw the news, I-I can’t Bea.”
“What can’t you do?”
“Pretend. Not when there are only that many hours left. I don’t want to go out regretting it. I can’t do it. Thinking about your pain, your hurt, it kills me – and I’m sorry. I still love you.”
“Why did you lie? Why did you have to hurt me like that? Why did you need the earth burning and atom bombs to tell me?” Beatrice’s voice wavers, her eyebrows furrowing. Her heart feels like shattering again.
“Because your parents, they-”
Beatrice lets out a groan and her hand digs into Ava’s hip.
Ava whimpers in response, she knows what that means but she continues even if the pain burns and brings tears to her eyes, “They told me, if I didn’t stay away, they would hurt you.”
“What the fuck does that even mean.”
Ava shakes her head, tears falling again, “Please Bea, I don’t want to talk about them, I don’t fucking care about them anymore, they can’t fucking do shit with the world like this.”
Beatrice digs her hand deeper.
Ava knows she understands.
“Let me take your hand, I'll make it right.”
Beatrice realizes she has already forgiven Ava.
“I can't imagine a world with you gone, I've sworn to love you all my life, I’ll make good on that promise tonight.”
Beatrice kisses her.
Ava kisses back.
If either notices the other’s shoulder shaking or the all too tight hand holding, neither comments on it.
“Hey, you were drinking?”
“Bourbon.”
Ava nods. “I…I want to spend these last moments with you, just being us, Ava and Beatrice.”
Beatrice knows.
Ava knows Beatrice knows.
“One more. For my head.”
“Okay.”
Ava stands, holding her arm out for Beatrice, although they both know she doesn’t need it.
Beatrice takes it anyway.
Ava rubs her thumb over Beatrice’s knuckles when she pours the drink.
“You hurt yourself.”
Ava watches Beatrice knocks it back as an answer. She pretends to not see the fallen plaster on the ground.
“Do you want anything?” Beatrice asks, when even if the world should end in the next minute, she places the glass in the sink. When even if the world should end in the next second, it’s an unspoken answer between them.
Ava just pulls her in and tastes the lingering burn.
When they pull away, Ava has a small pained smile on her face, “ice cream, from earlier, and stress relieving tea?”
Beatrice laughs and shakes her head, “fuck you, Silva.”
“Not before you take me out to dinner.”
Not like this.
They migrate to the couch, liquid strawberry ice cream in hand and cold tea in the other. Ava lets the TV run in the background as they enjoy each other’s company, Beatrice stroking Ava’s hair and Ava enjoying what she should have from earlier.
“Can I finally convince you to watch The Godfather?”
“Maybe.”
“How about with a suit on?”
Beatrice chuckles, “Don’t push your luck, darling.”
Everything is right in that one moment.
“Good night love.”
Ava listens to Beatrice’s heartbeat, the soft rise and fall.
She closes her eyes.
Everything is silent.