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It was on that Sunday evening.
The most memorable evening of Alhaitham’s life.
The evening Alhaitham and Kaveh go on a super romantic date together after work to help both of them relax (Alhaitham mainly suggested this so that Kaveh could take a break from being depressed) and they do super romantic things like walking through the flowerbeds.
Kaveh is the only person who can make Alhaitham genuinely feel wanted and loved, the only person that made Alhaitham see for himself that there’s more to life than razor-sharp reasoning and clear-cut decisions, that sometimes you have to take an unprecedented risk for the people you love.
He smiles to himself as he gently caresses the velvet box in his pocket.
The sun is setting on the flowerbeds so they sit next to each other, their fingers intertwined into one another’s and holding on like it’s a lifeline.
After a few minutes of silence. Alhaitham slowly slides his hand off of Kaveh’s before feeling in his pocket for the ring box and he kneels on one knee before asking Kaveh for his hand in marriage, trying desperately to keep his voice calm and steady.
Kaveh is surprised beyond words. Since they started dating, he had decided that he would be the one to propose (due to Alhaitham’s lack of romantic appreciation). He knew Alhaitham wanted to surprise Kaveh, but he had never imagined that he would pull off something like this. Warm tears flow down his cheeks and he sniffs, causing Alhaitham’s eyes to widen in worry.
‘Kaveh, my love, what’s wr-’
Alhaitham’s panic is interrupted with a sudden, desperate kiss. He gasps against Kaveh’s lips before leaning into his chest as his fingers run through his golden hair.
Kaveh pushed Alhaitham away and stares into his eyes for a while, giving Alhaitham the chance to do the same to Kaveh. Then, he pulls his flustered fiancé into a tight, warm hug. He didn’t feel like letting go anytime soon.
Alhaitham feels a weight rise off his chest as he hugs Kaveh but he can’t help but notice that Kaveh is surprisingly stiff and his breathing is shallow; he normally melts into hugs like these.
He brushes the thought away, determined to enjoy this moment in his life.
They walk back to their house, their fingers intertwined once again like two pieces of a puzzle. They are tired and after they get changed they both lie in Alhaitham’s bed (they are engaged after all).
Alhaitham can feel Kaveh’s fingers in his hair and his head on his chest. He leans into Kaveh and thinks about how lucky he is to have him in his life as he closes his eyes and dreams about their married life together.
‘Kaveh?’ Alhaitham called.
‘Yes darling?’ Comes the croaky reply from the other side of the bed.
‘Do you promise to hold my hand forever?’
The honeylike laugh that Alhaitham was so fond of and familiar with echoes inside his room - their room - as Kaveh tightens his grip. He whispered, ‘Alhaitham, I will be with you no matter what happens to me.’, while his hand slides onto Alhaitham’s chest and gently taps where his heart is.
‘Wait what is that supposed to-’
Alhaitham’s concern was interrupted with a soft snore from Kaveh. He gently carressed Kaveh’s blistered hands and closed his eyes, not letting himself feel anything except for the comfort of his fiancé.
——
When Alhaitham wakes up, he is smiling; smiling at the relief that he has someone to wake up to. He turns around to face that person and, admiring the way the sun hits his golden hair, whispers ‘Good morning, my love.’
No response.
Kaveh is laying completely still, body rigid, expression slack. Alhaitham whispers Kaveh’s name and when he doesn’t respond, panic strikes his chest as he feels for Kaveh’s pulse. There isn’t one.
That’s when he realises that the engagement ring that he gave Kaveh was now on his own finger.
He pulls it off viciously and flings it across the room before reaching for Kaveh’s hand and kissing it gently, willing him to open those beautiful carmine eyes of his. But they stay closed. His usually warm hands have gone cold and the comfort they once held is now gone.
Alhaitham walks slowly across the room, not taking his eyes off Kaveh, and picks up the ring before walking back and slipping it onto Kaveh’s ring finger and holds his hand, interlacing their fingers together as they had done yesterday.
‘Kaveh, wake up. Please.’ He pleads, for the first time in his life, for the only person he has truly cared about to wake up.
He lies down next to Kaveh’s body and observes how he looks more relaxed than ever now that his troubled soul has finally ascended to Celestia. He smiles to himself before burying his head into Kaveh’s neck and gently stroking his soft, golden hair. He closes his eyes and breathes in his fading scent before falling asleep.
——
Alhaitham wakes up with wet eyes and cheeks. He’s been crying.
He misses Kaveh… His joyous smile, his bright eyes, his warm voice, his kind heart and especially the way he brightened up Alhaitham’s days and nights since he moved in.
He misses holding his warm hands, looking into his eyes, kissing him, breathing in his soothing scent, comforting him on his dark days and being able to have someone who he fully trusted with his life. But even if he misses him, it won’t change the fact that he’s gone, forever and forever. The truth hits him like a punch to the chest and he sinks into his bed, his breathing shallow.
We understand death only after it has placed its hands on someone we love.
He calls out Kaveh’s name into the darkness.
No one calls back.
He screams.
No one screams back.
He sobs and sobs, thinking about how close they were to having the perfect married life together, before Kaveh died of heart failure 2 years ago. He didn’t deserve to die like that, at the tender age of 25. He had had such ambitious dreams that he was so intent on completing that it was simply adorable for Alhaitham to watch him with fondness that grew with each second he looked at the man who held so much potential. They had so much potential.
But now…
Alhaitham slides onto the floor, trembling. His cheeks are warm with tears of grief and longing. He holds his own hand tightly in desperation, but it just doesn’t feel the same. Kaveh is gone.
And he’s not coming back.