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Soulmates. Everyone has them, not everyone loves them, and everyone is them for a day or two once in a while until they find each other. On a random-ass day in your life, whatever deities or fates exist decide ‘Hey, this human should know who their soulmate is and how they live. Let’s put them in their body lol’ and go ahead and do just that. Multiple times. It only stops once the soulmates meet each other for the first time.
Nobody knows how the fuck it works. There’s so many studies that go nowhere because there just isn’t a way to explain how people swap bodies or why. It isn’t even guaranteed that the people who switch bodies are actually soulmates. Someone a few thousand years ago just decided that’s what they should call it, and everyone went along with it.
Most people’s swap happens when they’re younger, in their late teens, but there are always exceptions. It’s happened that a baby switched bodies with a toddler or people in their forties suddenly found themselves waking up in the office even though they definitely went home the night before. There’s no rhyme and reason to these swaps but they’ve been accepted into society as inevitable.
Despite this phenomenon being called soulmates, it doesn’t guarantee a long-lasting and loving relationship. People could be soulmates and not want to have anything to do with one another or they try to date and find that they work better as friends. Of course, most people do actually fall in love with their soulmates but it’s not frowned upon if it doesn’t happen that way.
Li Ming’s own parents aren’t soulmates, though their relationship also crumbled quite quickly when his father did find his soulmate and decided his wife and son weren’t enough to make him stay. And then Li Ming’s mother decided that travelling would help her find her soulmate sooner. She already swapped bodies with him before she even met Li Ming’s father but he supposedly lived somewhere in fuck-nowhere where the dialect was so strong, his mother hadn’t understood a word. And instead of seeking her soulmate out, she settled for the next best person.
Li Ming’s uncle had a soulmate, hell they were engaged to be married, but the bastard had to go and cheat on him and then die. So Li Ming’s family doesn’t have a good track record with soulmates or being decent people.
It’s Li Ming’s responsibility to have a good relationship with his soulmate, whether that be romantic or not, only so that karma doesn’t bite them all in the ass in their next life. Granted, he doesn’t even know who his soulmate is yet, and, in all honesty, he’s in no particular hurry to find out. He’d like to get his life together before even thinking about meeting or, well, being his soulmate.
After he finally managed to get good enough at English to apply for that free work and travel program, and he saved up enough money with his uncle’s help to at least not have nothing on him when starting out, it didn’t take long for him to touch down on American soil.
It’s fun to work, and Li Ming has never been bad at making friends but sometimes he still feels out of place, lonely though not alone. He can call his family or friends back home when he wants someone to talk to in his native language but the time difference makes it hard for them to speak for more than a few minutes or actually be properly awake. All his friends who work with him in the restaurant are either only doing it part-time while attending college or have actual certifications, and a lot of them have asked him what he wants to do later in his life. Does he want to stay in the USA indefinitely or return home? Stay a server or go to college to study something else? What are his interests, his dreams, his hopes?
Before, his interests, dreams and hopes were all getting out of Pattaya, seeing more of the world, have more money. Now he’s achieved two out of those three things and he’s glad to even be able to earn a living wage, if just barely. It’s hard to dream of more when you both miss home and don’t want to return to it, when you never thought about your life past eighteen.
Anyway, Li Ming already has enough on his plate with work and his inner struggles, he doesn’t need a soulmate on top of that.
Which is why the universe makes sure to make exactly that happen.
It was an exhausting day in the restaurant, Li Ming never stood still once, not to mention that there was talk about him getting complaints too often even though he works his ass off and has the best track record among the newbies. That’s another thing – the racism – but Li Ming chooses not to think about it as much as he can.
Anyway, Li Ming falls into bed basically as soon as he gets back to his little studio, barely even managing to toe off his shoes at the door. He knows he should get up and shower at least, eat something probably since his lunch break was almost non-existent and his breakfast consisted of convenience store ramen, but his eyes are heavy after getting too little sleep for the last three days and tomorrow is his day off anyway. Li Ming planned on using it to travel but he will probably just sleep the day away.
His eyes close and he feels himself sink into the mattress.
He wakes up well-rested under the covers in a bed that’s way too big to be his. It’s not the tiny twin bed he got for half the price at the furniture store on the corner, and it’s not the simple white sheets he got for free.
Li Ming wants to curse but his voice won’t come, his throat hurts at the effort. It feels like he just croaked something but Li Ming couldn’t hear– He can’t hear anything, actually. It’s not just his voice but also the hustle and bustle of the city or even the wind outside. The world is never this quiet.
Li Ming looks down, raking his, or rather, his soulmate’s nails over the sheet. He can’t hear it. His soulmate is deaf.
For a few seconds Li Ming panics, thinking his soulmate must be at least ten years older if they’re already deaf, but then he looks up and sees himself in the mirror on the opposite wall. He sees his soulmate and thinks, That’s a boy. Asian, definitely.
He doesn’t look familiar though, so Li Ming immediately gives up the idea of already knowing his soulmate. He can’t be much older or younger than Li Ming, and when Li Ming gets up to examine his soulmate closer, he can see no scars on or near his ears. Was his soulmate born deaf? But why would someone who was born deaf have so many posters and sticky notes on sign and body language?
Li Ming focuses on a particularly big, neon pink, sticky note. It’s stuck towards the upper corner of the mirror, very hard to miss. Something is written on it.
Li Ming plucks it from the mirror and sits down on the bed to read it.
It’s not unusual to write a little note for your soulmate to make it easier for them to find you but since you never know when the body swap will happen, it’s never guaranteed that your soulmate will find it or that you’ll still have it when it finally happens. Li Ming didn’t prepare one but he probably should have, so that his soulmate would know how to navigate his life.
Then again, he hasn’t thought about soulmates since Wen came stumbling into Uncle Jim’s life, and subsequently Li Ming’s, and proved that you can have a fall-out with your soulmate and still stay friends with them.
Dear soulmate, the note reads in neat penmanship, my name is Heart.
I’m 20. I’m deaf. I work as an interpreter from home. There’s deadlines I have to meet but if you look into my drafts for my emails, there’s already the relevant ones in there that you just have to send out to ask for an extension. Simply look at the header to see when the deadline would be, then send them accordingly. The password for my computer is heartsheart2545. I stay logged in to my email.
I have nowhere to be and no one to meet. I still live with my parents, though the chance of you running into them is quite low since they’re very busy.
You can entertain yourself however you would like.
Heart
It’s written in Thai first, then English and then a language Li Ming doesn’t know but reads a little like Spanish. One of his co-workers, Leticia, offered to teach him Spanish and even lent him a book in exchange for him teaching her Thai but Li Ming’s mind is already at its limit with just two languages, so he’s only teaching her Thai and she doesn’t teach him anything.
Either way, Li Ming understands what Heart wrote. Something about it is off but Li Ming can’t put his finger on it and it’s not like the boy had written anything outrageous.
First things first, Li Ming is glad his soulmate is the same age as him and that he’s Thai. At the same time, the fact that Heart wrote Thai first means that he’s in Thailand, meaning he’s halfway across the world. Also, Heart’s a boy.
Uncle Jim is gay, so are Gaipa and Alan, and Wen is bi. It’s not like Li Ming doesn’t know queer people, and he isn’t homophobic or anything either. But he’s also never given much thought as to what gender his soulmate would be. He never assumed it would be a girl but he’s still a little surprised that it’s a boy.
He wonders how Heart is faring right now. Since it’s – Li Ming glances at the clock – around ten in the morning here, Li Ming couldn’t have gone to sleep too long ago, so Heart was probably still sleeping. It was a very weird thought, to know that Li Ming just went to sleep and still woke up well rested, and his body is sleeping in his studio with someone else occupying it. Li Ming shudders at the weird image.
Then he remembers that he didn’t leave a note, and so, Heart would have no idea whose body he’s in, where he is or what he’s supposed to be doing. Li Ming knows it’s his day off but Heart doesn’t. And if this swap lasts for longer than a day, they’re going to have a problem.
Li Ming shakes off that troubling thought and moves to sit in the desk chair, starting up the computer with both its monitors. He logs in easily enough, finds Heart’s email and sees that the closest deadline is set two weeks from now. He decides it’s not close enough to send an email asking for an extension.
Since he doesn’t have anything else to do, he looks through Heart’s computer. There isn’t a lot to see on it. The home screen is generic, though it’s one of the moving ones. One monitor has different shortcuts to streaming services, and a folder for games, the other seems to be the work monitor with a camera on top of it, and three folders. One is entitled ‘work’, the other ‘videos’, and the third ‘sign language’. Both monitors have shortcuts to Google. Li Ming supposes he uses them to search for different things.
It’s weird to know he’s making sound when typing and clicking the mouse but not hearing anything. He wonders if Heart has always been this way and thus wouldn’t miss these sounds. When the boy wakes up in Li Ming’s body, will he be surprised? Overwhelmed? Will he feel joy or wish the silence back?
Li Ming decides to return the favour of writing a note. He finds that the drawer nearest to him is filled with notepads, a few pens lying to the side of them. Does Heart need them to take notes when working? That seems the most plausible explanation.
Heart, Li Ming writes, hesitates, then adds, Dear, so that it reads:
Dear Heart,
My name is Li Ming. I’m also 20. I’m Thai but I currently live in Atlanta in the USA. It was my day off today, so I hope you didn’t feel too stressed waking up in my body. I work as a waiter a few streets over. I’ll give you a map for next time, just in case. I can’t really spontaneously take days off, so you’ll have to work in my place. I’ll create a new document on your work monitor with notes that are basically what I was told in training and what I learnt myself. Serving cultures here and there are very different.
I’m sorry to be putting you in a position in which you’ll have to live my life.
I wanted to ask you something. Were you born deaf? Did you like hearing sound? I miss the sounds and I wish I could hear but I suppose spending a few days like this is nothing compared to a lifetime. I doubt we’ll meet soon but I hope we’ll meet some day.
Li Ming
Li Ming re-reads what he wrote three times before he’s sure he actually wants to leave it like that. He gets up to put it on the bedside table, so that Heart sees it as soon as he wakes up. Something moves in the corner of his eyes and Li Ming turns to see what it is. Maybe Heart and his parents also have a cat, like Uncle Jim does.
But it’s not a cat he sees, it’s a piece of paper on the floor in front of the door. Li Ming frowns, walking over to pick it up.
Food is in the fridge.
Li Ming’s frown only deepens. This is a very distant message, both with the way it’s worded and how it was simply slid under the door. Couldn’t whoever delivered this – one of Heart’s parents, Li Ming assumes – open the door and use sign language? They already had to come up here anyway. Didn’t they, like, want to see their son?
Shaking his head, Li Ming sighs and puts the note on the desk. If he goes out now, maybe he’ll meet one or even both of Heart’s parents and he doesn’t know if it would be better for them to know or not to know that he isn’t Heart but Heart’s soulmate.
Li Ming, though he didn’t think about soulmates often, is one of those people who believe that soulmates’ relationships turn out better when it isn’t found out when they swap bodies. For Li Ming, it says something about the compatibility of the soulmates. If he went out and stumbled upon Heart’s parents, they would immediately find out he’s not their son since he doesn’t know sign language and couldn’t communicate with them in that way.
Then again, if they left a note like that, they’re probably leaving and not coming back for a while.
In the end, Li Ming waits ten minutes before venturing outside of Heart’s room. The house is big, massive even. You could probably call this a mansion.
Li Ming knew that it’s a house from how big Heart’s room is and the fact that he could see a garden from Heart’s window. But even the fact that Heart’s room isn’t on the ground floor couldn’t have clued Li Ming into the fact how big the house actually is. After all, Li Ming’s own room at home was on the first floor, and he and Uncle Jim sure as hell didn’t live in a mansion.
Li Ming can already tell that he doesn’t like this house. It’s too bare, too lonely. Sure, there’s more than enough light coming in from the massive windows but it still feels cold. All the colours are neutral or dark, a stark opposite to Uncle Jim’s house or even Li Ming’s own studio that’s mostly decked out in red and orange. Not to mention that the loneliness is only amplified by being deaf. Only being alone would not feel as sad as it does if Heart could hear, Li Ming is sure.
Not to mention, if Heart works from home, he wouldn’t even meet anyone while working, wouldn’t interact with anyone outside of his parents and maybe a maid with how big this house is. Li Ming hopes Heart can at least meet his friends on the weekends or on days he doesn’t have anything urgent to work on.
It’s not hard to find the food meant for Heart in the fridge, both lunch and dinner from the looks of it but Li Ming isn’t hungry yet, so he lets it be for now. He doesn’t really want to go outside, already weirded out by not being able to hear even the simplest of sounds. If he couldn’t hear the hustle and bustle of daily life, Li Ming would probably feel sick.
So he stays inside, returning to Heart’s room. He could read the books Heart has or play the games on his computer but Li Ming has decided something. Even if Heart and he only meet once, only to realise they’re not compatible, Li Ming is going to learn sign language.
Li Ming blinks awake in his own bed. The clock on the wall tells him it’s four in the morning, numbers glowing red in the dark. Li Ming groans, stretching his body and revelling in the fact that he can hear again. He wonders how Heart felt when he woke up in his own body, because there’s no way the other boy is still asleep.
Like the day before, Li Ming feels well rested, enough so that he pulls out his phone and googles the most helpful websites to learn Thai Sign Language. Heart’s sign language folder doesn’t only include Thai but American and Spanish as well, though Li Ming obviously focused on Thai. Either Heart has too much free time or he’s an overachiever. Li Ming feels like it’s a little bit of both, and just the tiniest bit of jealousy creeps into his heart.
He isn’t going to need as much time to learn sign language as he needed for English, he can already tell, but it’s still difficult. Especially because he isn’t going to have anyone to practise with unless he can find a Thai Sign Language class he can afford and get to. Why he’s making this much of an effort for a person he might not meet for years to come is a question he doesn’t want to look too closely at. His excuse is that they’re soulmates and Li Ming isn’t going to let their relationship go to shit before it’s even begun.
The sun rises early in summer and Li Ming doesn’t have any blinds, so it doesn’t take long for the sun to creep into Li Ming’s studio. That’s when Li Ming’s gaze catches on a piece of paper on his bedside table.
Dear Li Ming,
I spent the whole day inside. Since your phone has face ID, I managed to unlock it. That way I found out your name is Li Ming and you don’t have work today. I also saw the work calendar on your desk later.
Are you originally from Thailand or were you born in the US? Some messages were in English and your phone’s system language is also English but your uncle and some others text in Thai, so I’m curious.
It will probably take a while for us to meet, if we ever do, so I hope we can at least communicate like this while we’re switching bodies. I’m sorry.
Heart
There’s a section after that ‘I’m sorry’ that’s scratched out so much, Li Ming can’t even begin to decipher it. He wonders what Heart is sorry for. There’s nothing in particular that comes to mind. It’s not like it’s unheard of for soulmates to communicate with notes. Now that Li Ming thinks about it, Heart didn’t have a phone anywhere, only his computer.
And on his computer there was only his work email unless Li Ming managed to overlook a whole other account. It’s weird but Li Ming will have to ask Heart about it the next time they switch bodies.
He drags himself out of bed to get pen and paper and write his question down before he forgets.
At nine in the morning, he texts his uncle, asking if they could chat. Uncle Jim’s chicken truck is still open but Wen and even Gaipa can help if Uncle Jim is otherwise occupied. And honestly, at this time of the day there’s the least customers. People either come at a decent time for dinner or just barely before midnight. The only ones who are usually there at this time are people who are chatting over a can of beer, and Uncle Jim doesn’t need to focus all of his attention on that.
Uncle Jim pretends he’s busy but gives up in the end. Li Ming calls him.
“What’s up, brat?” Uncle Jim asks, and Li Ming rolls his eyes, only because his uncle can’t see.
“I swapped bodies last night.”
It’s silent for a few seconds, then Li Ming can hear his uncle exhale. He imagines the man to be standing off to the side from his truck, back turned to the tables and his free hand on his temple.
“Do you know them?” The wariness in Uncle Jim’s voice is unmistakable. He hasn’t had a good experience with his soulmate, despite it going well for most of their relationship. If his asshole of a soulmate hadn’t cheated, maybe he would be less of a cynical person.
“I don’t know him,” Li Ming answers. He’s half-tempted to clarify that he’s talking about a boy since his uncle won’t disinherit him for possibly being interested in boys. Maybe. “He’s Thai but I don’t know much more than that.”
There’s another silence, then, “When are you coming back, Li Ming?”
They’ve had this conversation several times before. The real question should be, will he ever come back? Will his homesickness ever be enough to get him to come back to a place he wanted to escape from so badly?
“I don’t know, uncle,” he says. “When I have enough money to take vacation days. I’ll tell you then.”
“Alright.” Uncle Jim sighs. “Keep me updated on your soulmate. Don’t force yourself into a relationship just because your mother and I don’t have a good track record. You don’t need to make up for it, understand?”
Li Ming nods, even though his uncle can’t see him. “I understand, uncle. Give my greetings to P’Wen and the others.”
Uncle Jim huffs. He knows that out of all of them, Li Ming texts with Uncle Jim the least. He’s just such a parent it’s hard to talk to him sometimes. The younger ones are more understanding.
Especially Wen and Gaipa let Li Ming vent, then give him advice or simply acknowledge what Li Ming is feeling. Leng’s a bit too busy being a good father and he’s the fun friend anyway, not the one Li MIng goes to to complain. Alan, Li Ming only knows through stories of Gaipa. Though he has the man’s number for some reason, the only time they ever texted was when Alan told him Gaipa gave him Li Ming’s number. Neither of them know why.
Either way, he just wanted to let his uncle know about the soulmate situation, not about how he’s feeling about it or any more detail than strictly necessary.
“Take care of yourself, brat,” Uncle Jim says, then hangs up. Li Ming rolls his eyes at his phone. He has a little time before he needs to get ready but he decides to get up for real now, take his time showering and not think about the fact that he and Heart have seen more of each other’s bodies than is appropriate for strangers, though soulmates technically can never be strangers.
He wonders if Heart is already asleep. He seems like the kind of person to go to bed early and wake up early. It’s a miracle they were even asleep at the same time then but Li Ming isn’t going to question the universe.
Breakfast is instant ramen again, of course. Li Ming could go out and buy something else or learn how to cook a little but instant ramen is just the easiest thing to prepare in the morning. Does Heart cook? If his parents prepare food for him, probably not. Or maybe he can but since Li Ming didn’t come out of his room that day, his parents took it upon themselves to cook.
Can you cook? Li Ming adds to his note to Heart before going off to work.
It takes about a month before Li Ming wakes up in Thailand again, not hearing a single thing. He feels weirdly happy about it, knowing that this is going to be a thing now. His note to Heart is basically an interview by now, at least ten questions that came to him when he just went about his life. He hopes Heart finds and answers them. He also hopes Heart can navigate Li Ming’s chaotic life, that it isn’t too overwhelming for the other boy.
It’s ten in the morning again. It seems that, unless Li Ming stops taking the closing shift, they will always end up this way. Technically, it also means that Li Ming didn’t sleep at all before waking up again but Heart’s body did, probably a really long time, so the body is well rested. Li Ming is not a scientist and soulmates are a weird thing, so he isn’t going to think too much about that.
There’s a note next to the bed.
Dear Li Ming,
I wasn’t born deaf but I became deaf about four years ago, almost five. I was sick and lost my hearing as well as my ability to speak without it hurting.
I’ll try my best to do your work. I apologise in advance, though, since I’ve never worked as a server. Are you the kind of person who believes soulmates shouldn’t be found out when they swap bodies? If so, I hope I can do it well enough to not alert people to the change. Thank you for the notes and map. I will try not to disappoint you.
Heart
Once again, Li Ming finds himself frowning down on Heart’s handwriting. There’s something wrong here. Heart’s apologising again. He’s talking about trying his best and trying not to disappoint Li Ming. He thanks Li Ming as if it’s not natural to want to help your soulmate navigate your life. It doesn’t sit right with Li Ming but it’s not as if he can do anything about it.
He gets up, grabbing a pen and notebook from the desk drawer.
Dear Heart,
Yes, I believe in soulmates not being found out bringing luck. You don’t have to pretend to be me if you don’t want to because I don’t want to force you. It’s all a belief anyway, there’s no way to prove it’s actually true. If you’re more comfortable telling people you’re my soulmate and you need to take the day off or not work as a server, then feel free to do so.
Is there really nothing I can do? I feel bad knowing you’re working for me but I can barely form a sentence in sign language.
Li Ming
Li Ming sets down the note where he found Heart’s, then sits down on the bed and chews on his lip. What’s he supposed to do now? Li Ming isn’t a person who can sit still for long, especially not with that eerie silence in his ears. He could learn more sign language with the help of Heart’s folder but he wouldn’t be able to do that for at least ten hours straight.
First things first, he could look for that account that probably doesn’t exist. It’s not like it’s going to take a long time but at least a little bit. Then he could learn sign language, eat whenever he felt like it, and then go from there.
Li Ming nods to himself and gets up to set his plan into motion.
He doesn’t end up finding anything, the only account on Heart’s computer is his business account. He used another one to sign up for the games but there’s no personal mails in there either. Heart didn’t say anything about a phone in his first note, Li Ming is sure, and he doesn’t see one anywhere in his room either. Neither does he see a charger that would indicate Heart’s phone was just in repair somewhere.
It doesn’t make sense with how rich Heart’s family obviously is that he wouldn’t have a phone. Heart makes his own money too, though Li Ming doesn’t know how much remote interpreters get paid. But Heart doesn’t exactly have any living expenses to pay – he still lives with his parents, who are filthy rich – so Li Ming doesn’t even know where that money would go if not entertainment.
Li Ming ponders on this for a while but doesn’t come to a conclusion, so he decides to leave it alone before his head starts smoking. Instead, he focuses on cramming more sign language into his head.
The only classes he found in Atlanta were for spoken Thai and he can do that just fine, so he’s been continuing to learn on his own. He’s found, though, that Heart’s organised folder is much better for learning than random internet sites. It would also help to have someone to talk to. Maybe he could get Heart to Skype him, see the boy with his own eyes, see him act as himself and not just have the image of his body with Li Ming’s mind occupying it.
His stomach rumbles a little after noon. There’s a note on the floor again. This time he’s getting pizza delivered, how nice.
Li Ming makes his way downstairs, concluding that he’s alone again. The pizza carton is sat on the bar top next to the whiskey bottles and what-not.
For a brief second, Li Ming wonders if anyone’s ever tried breaking in while Heart was alone at home, and actually succeeded in stealing something. It isn’t as if Heart would be able to hear them even if they broke something. Then again, they would have to know about Heart being deaf, and this house probably has extremely good security.
Li Ming is glad to find that the pizza doesn’t have any pineapple on it or, worse, durian. It’s a simple pepperoni pizza, which Li Ming appreciates. At least in this, he and Heart seem to have similar tastes. Then again, there aren’t a lot of people who actively dislike pepperoni pizza.
It’s a good pizza, and Li Ming nods in satisfaction as he gets up to throw the carton into the garbage. He can’t find the garbage bin, though he tries really hard. It’s not in the places one would normally find a garbage bin and Li Ming isn’t going to throw it into Heart’s small paper basket.
He decides to try his luck outside. After all, the big bins have to be brought up to the street and everyone has to have them.
He’s right. Outside, a little off the drive-way are the bins. Li Ming grins, walking over. He opens the bin to throw the cartoon inside when he sees something inside that makes him pause. His name on a crumpled piece of paper.
Frowning, Li Ming leans forward to fish it out of the bin, checks if there’s any other ones, and when he finds none, chucks the carton into the bin. He basically runs up to Heart’s room, almost jumping on the bed before unfolding the piece of paper. It’s obviously Heart’s handwriting.
Dear Li Ming,
I wasn’t born deaf. Due to a sickness when I was fifteen, I became deaf and unable to speak without hurting my throat. It wasn’t a common illness and the research for it wasn’t particularly well-funded, so they had no way of treating me.
The next paragraph is scratched out. It’s a lot that’s obscured by Heart’s attempts to erase the words from the paper, a lot more than on the note he left in Li Ming’s studio.
Li Ming squints but it’s like Heart was extremely determined not to let Li Ming know what he wanted to write. That’s probably why he threw it away in the end, and decided to write a new note.
That in and of itself makes Li Ming want to know what Heart wrote that he deemed so wrong he had to throw the whole thing away where Li Ming would have never seen it, if it wasn’t for that carton. Li Ming glances at the clock. One in the afternoon. He has a lot of time to decipher this.
Determined, he gets up and plops himself down in the desk chair. He pulls the notebook he used before out of the drawer again, flipping it over and bending over Heart’s note. He’s not leaving here before he knows what it says.
At nine, Li Ming is staring at his deciphered note and hoping he did it wrong. Because what Heart wrote is so sad, and the implications of it make Li Ming angry.
Honestly, I cried when I could hear again. I thought I would never be able to hear anything again. I selfishly wished I would never meet you, so that I could have at least that. I could talk to people if I was you, go outside, have friends. Even if you live alone, the pictures on your desk and the amount of chats you have are evidence enough that you have a lot of friends and that you get along with them. But that would mean you’d have to be deaf and I didn’t want to do that to you. So I hope we meet soon so that you don’t have to go through that so often.
Go outside? Have friends? Talk to people???
That last note Li Ming made was circled at least ten times. He knows Heart can’t talk but he can still communicate. Do his parents not sign with him? Is that why there’s always only been a note and Li Ming hasn’t even caught a glimpse of either of Heart’s parents? And by going outside, does Heart mean he never leaves this dreadful house? Surely he had friends before he got sick, surely there are meetings for deaf people around here.
Li Ming slams his hand on the desk when he stands up, feels the sting but doesn’t hear the sound. It’s still trippy to know he made a sound, a loud one even, and not hearing it. But right now, he’s too focused to get to the bottom of this to think about that.
It’s very late evening but if Heart’s parents are supposed to be so busy, they probably come home around this time. Maybe they’re even home already.
Li Ming can see a light in the open living room and thanks his lucky stars. Or maybe they’re unlucky depending on how this goes. If his theory is right, it won’t be revealed that he isn’t Heart. If it’s wrong, he acted against his own belief of soulmates not being found out. But Li Ming has always had a good instinct even though he hopes that it’s wrong for once.
A woman is sitting on the couch, tapping away at a tablet. She looks familiar somehow but Li Ming attributes that to the fact that she’s probably Heart’s mother and looks like him.
Li Ming steps closer. The woman doesn’t notice him. He bends and taps the table. Her gaze shoots up. Her mouth forms a word but Li Ming doesn’t know what it is. He’s never been good at lip reading, didn’t need to be.
He hopes that she’ll start signing, ask him if there’s a problem. Instead she looks around before her eyes settle on her tablet. She swipes on it a few times, then takes out the pen to write. Li Ming feels the corner of his eye twitch.
What is it, son? it reads on the tablet when she turns it towards him. Li Ming wants to ask her if she’s serious right now. If she couldn’t be bothered to learn sign language for her son, when Li Ming doesn’t even really know the boy and didn’t even have second thoughts about learning.
He takes the tablet from her before he realises that he and Heart have very different handwriting. If Heart’s parents really can’t sign, then they would at least know Heart’s handwriting, right? Wouldn’t they be seeing it often enough to pick it out of a line-up?
Well, since Li Ming already risked being found out by approaching her in the first place, he can risk this too. He almost hopes he’s found out.
Can I have Pad Thai for lunch tomorrow?
Heart’s mom takes the tablet from him. Her brows don’t even furrow in confusion before she erases what he wrote and writes her answer. Li Ming wants to slap that stupid tablet out of her hand. He wants to take her by the shoulders and shake her. How can she not even know her son’s handwriting? Uncle Jim knows Li Ming’s handwriting and they speak to each other.
He can barely read her answer before he forces a smile and almost runs up to Heart’s room again. He wants to meet the boy as soon as possible and take him away from this awful family. He doubts Heart’s father knows sign language, and the crossed out note implies – almost explicitly states – that Heart can’t even go outside.
Li Ming punches the pillow Heart doesn’t sleep on to vent at least some of his frustration. Not only does Heart live in this shitty situation, it seems his parents have successfully made him feel like being deaf is a bad thing, something to be ashamed of, something to be sorry for. Does Heart think Li Ming wouldn’t want to learn sign language either? Does he think they can never meet because he never leaves the house? Does he think Li Ming wouldn’t want to meet him because he’s deaf?
Li Ming wants to take paper and pen, and write a whole rant but he feels like Heart wouldn’t receive it well. He should propose the idea of communicating by mail or Skype to Heart and hope the other boy wants to do that. He also probably shouldn’t tell the boy what he thinks about his situation yet.
So he asks what way Heart would prefer to communicate and tells him that he’s learning sign language, so being able to learn directly from someone who is good at it would help a lot. Especially when that someone is his soulmate.
He doesn’t include the last part in his note but he thinks it. He signs it Li Ming :) this time before going to bed.
When he wakes up he’s in his studio and thinks, I should find out where Heart lives.
It’s seven in the morning, an hour before his alarm is supposed to go off, and Li Ming feels refreshed. There’s a piece of paper on his bedside table, weighed down by the lamp.
Heart answered every single question on Li Ming’s note.
I only have my computer and I only have my work email. There’s no one I can talk to anyway.
I can cook really simple stuff or anything with a detailed recipe.
I learnt sign language on my own.
I’ve never been outside of Thailand but I’d like to visit other places. Atlanta seems nice.
It’s hard to retain the exact sounds of language but if I tried really hard, I could probably remember and recreate them.
I never worked at anything before my job now.
I used to really like classical music but I didn’t have very specific tastes. I could listen to metal if I had to.
I really like Pad Thai but I haven’t eaten it in a while.
We’ve never had pets. My parents aren’t home often and I wasn’t either when I still went to school. I stopped asking after I went deaf.
My favourite animal is the Dumbo octopus. It's just really cute.
How about you? What are your answers to all these questions?
Next to Heart’s answers lies another piece of paper.
I managed to find your workplace and I managed to do your job. It’s very exhausting and one of your co-workers, I think his name is Andy, asked why you were so calm. I think he believed me when I told him I was just tired, so nobody noticed that I wasn’t you.
I saw a book on Thai sign language on your desk. Are you learning it for me?
It looks like Heart wanted to write more but decided against it with the splotch of ink after his question. Instead, the boy signed the paper and put it on the bedside table as is. Li Ming wants to tell him that, yes, of course he’s learning for Heart. For his soulmate. He wishes Heart took it for granted.
Hopefully, Li Ming will be able to get Heart out of the mindset he seems to be in. Maybe even Heart himself doesn’t want to live the way he does, be as restrained as he is by his parents.
When Li Ming checks his phone, a notification catches his eye. It’s an email.
Hello Li Ming,
This is Heart. I saw your note and decided it would be nicer to communicate with you like this. I made a new email address just for this.
Would it really be alright with you to Skype with me? I’ve never done that before and we don’t really know each other. I don’t want to burden you. It’s already enough that you’re learning sign language.
Heart :)
Li Ming both wants to smile and frown. He’s glad that Heart sent him an email but he doesn’t like that Li Ming learning sign language is already enough as if he doesn’t want to get to know his soulmate better through actually seeing him and communicating face to face.
He sends an email back that affirms that, yes, Li Ming wants to skype, and he wants to get to know Heart better, sign language has nothing to do with that. He writes that it’s common sense to want to be able to communicate with his soulmate, that he would have learnt sign language even if Heart wasn’t his soulmate, should they have met another way somehow.
He feels like he could have conveyed that better face to face but he’s got to work with what he has now.
After a bit of deliberation, Li Ming also answers all of the questions Heart answers, to not leave the boy hanging.
Heart responds almost immediately. It’s a simple :) but it’s something. Li Ming smiles back at it.
It seems the universe doesn’t think of seeing each other through a monitor as ‘meeting each other’.
Heart and Li Ming have been skyping for three months now. At least once a week, Li Ming will call Heart, mostly on his day off. While it was a bit awkward the first time around, they’ve established a solid friendship by now. Li Ming might or might not have a tiny crush on the other boy but he’s not going to think about that before he sees Heart in real life.
Heart is a lot more outgoing than Li Ming would have thought him to be. It’s not as surprising ever since he learnt that Heart used to have a normal childhood before he went deaf, going to school and everything. Heart wants to go out again, he’s just afraid of his parents’ reaction.
Though, of course, Heart prefers to talk about other things. He rather likes to watch Li Ming describe his ‘adventures’. He likes to ask questions and make jokes and tease Li Ming about him being new to sign language. One time, when Li Ming was proud of being able to hold a conversation with just sign language, Heart made a series of signs at him that looked familiar but had no meaning for Li Ming. They were Naruto signs. Heart’s smile was so big, Li Ming couldn’t even pretend to be mad at him.
Yeah, Li Ming doesn’t even have to think about his possible crush to know that it actually exists. He doesn’t know how he couldn’t crush on the boy, so he doesn’t have a crisis about it. He doesn’t know if he’s gay or bi or whatever, he just knows that he likes Heart, and that’s the important part.
Their Skype day is tomorrow and Li Ming is excited about it already. He always goes to sleep earlier than he usually does, to be well-rested when he sees Heart.
For the first time in a while, Li Ming wakes up in Heart’s room.
Li Ming just stares at the ceiling for a while, wondering if they should still skype like this. It would be weird but also kind of cool. Seeing himself from someone else’s eyes, his soulmate’s – Heart’s – eyes is not something he can do every day.
It’s just past nine in the morning, meaning Heart would still be sleeping in Li Ming’s body. Heart usually wakes up at around seven in the morning, so Li Ming has about eight hours before the other boy would even respond to anything Li Ming would send him.
Still, Li Ming gets up to send his soulmate an email, asking if they should still skype.
Before he does anything else, Li Ming wants to get something to drink. Maybe he’ll turn on the TV downstairs and hope there’s the news on because he still doesn’t know where Heart lives. Somehow, he keeps forgetting to ask him. If he can’t find it out by himself today, Li Ming will definitely ask Heart himself.
Li Ming takes a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and turns, intent on turning on the TV. Instead he finds himself face to face with a man that he’s definitely seen before.
The man’s mouth forms the word ‘Heart’ at the same time as Li Ming’s eyes widen in realisation. This is Senior Sergeant Major Suphot. What the fuck. Heart is this man’s son?
It doesn’t even register to Li Ming that the man is trying to talk to Heart like he could hear him. He sees him form the words but his head is full of static. Heart is in Pattaya. Heart could not be any closer to Li Ming’s place in Thailand than he is.
Li Ming wants to go to sleep, get back into his body and take all of his vacation days right now. There’s no way in hell he’s not going back to Thailand when he knows exactly where Heart is and who his parents are. He’s getting Heart the hell away from here. He’s going to come back, walk up to this stupidly big house and give his soulmate a hug. And then he’ll take him to see Jimbo and Li Ming’s family and friends Heart always wants to hear about.
He gestures at his ears when the Senior Sergeant Major is finished speaking and still hasn’t realised that Heart wouldn’t understand unless he concentrated really hard. Senior Sergeant Major Suphot simply rolls his eyes and sighs before shaking his head. He waves his hand in a dismissive gesture, then steps to the side to let his son through. Li Ming can only barely hold back a scowl but he makes his way up to Heart’s room again.
He wants to go back to sleep and hope he switches back but there’s no guarantee it would work, and he probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep now anyway. He doesn’t have a plan, exactly. All he knows is that he needs to get Heart out of here. The feeling just got more urgent when Li Ming found out Heart lives in Pattaya.
Li Ming isn’t the kind of person who can wait around patiently when they know they should do something. But he doesn’t know what he could do until he next goes to sleep that doesn’t involve leaving this house in Heart’s body. For some reason, Li Ming doesn’t want Heart to know Li Ming is going to come and get him out of here. He doesn’t want to hear any possible rejections.
There is this one game Heart recommended to him that Li Ming has been playing obsessively whenever he could. Maybe he could try to pass the time playing that game on Heart’s computer. It’s always worth a try.
So Li Ming sits down at Heart’s computer and starts the game up.
It’s seven hours later that Heart’s personal account gets a notification.
It’s Heart confirming that they can still skype like this and, since it’s Li Ming’s day off and already six in the afternoon in Thailand, they could even start right now. Li Ming sends his soulmate an email, telling him he just has to go to the toilet real quick and then he’ll call him. Heart sends back, Pervert (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄) as if he doesn’t use the bathroom while he’s in Li Ming’s body.
Li Ming, Heart signs as soon as their call connects.
Heart, Li Ming signs back. He’s gotten into the habit of speaking and signing at the same time but he can’t do that in Heart’s body, so he just forms the words with his mouth instead. Heart grins at him.
He can sign and talk at the same time now, so he speaks when he signs, “How are you?”
His eyes are fond. It’s trippy to look at himself and know it’s another person in his body, especially when Heart makes him look like that. Is that what he usually looks like when he sees Heart? Because if that’s the case, there’s no way Heart doesn’t know about Li Ming’s crush on him. Then again, it also means that Heart also has a crush on Li Ming to be able to look at him like that, even when he’s in Heart’s body. Again, trippy.
I’m great. I just played games for seven hours.
Heart shakes his head but smiles. “You’re impossible.”
Li Ming just sticks his tongue out at him, Heart just sticks his tongue out right back.
Li Ming wants to hear Heart. He wants to listen to what’s going on at the other side of the screen, wants to know what tone of voice Heart uses to talk to him. He can understand what Heart feels like. It sucks because Li Ming can hear, and Heart can hear when he’s in Li Ming’s body but they can never hear at the same time. Heart will never know what Li Ming sounds like using his voice and Li Ming will never know what Heart sounds like in general. Though Li Ming has heard Heart’s adorable giggles on the best of days, and they almost make up for it. But only almost.
They carry on their conversation as if they’re not looking at their own faces while doing so. Heart plans on going grocery shopping because he saw that Li Ming basically doesn’t have anything to eat anymore, and Li Ming plans to go to sleep as soon as possible. Heart doesn’t believe him but Li Ming swears it’s the truth. And just because he plans to doesn’t mean he will.
They chat for hours without noticing the time passing, which isn’t unusual. One time they talked for six hours, way past Heart’s self-imposed bedtime.
It’s only when Heart looks down, startled, and Li Ming asks him what’s wrong that their call ends.
“Your stomach just growled so loudly, they probably heard you down on the street.”
Fuck off, Li Ming signs.
“I never taught you that,” Heart responds. Li Ming only sticks his tongue out at him before ending the call.
Get some food before I die of starvation, he sends Heart immediately after and gets a thumbs-up emoji in return.
Li Ming sighs and leans back in the chair. He just had a thought he didn’t like one bit.
If he meets Heart, the boy is never going to hear again.
As far as Li Ming knows, soulmates stop switching bodies after meeting each other, and if that’s the case, then today would be the last day Heart would be able to hear and he wouldn’t know. Yes, they’d finally meet in person but at what cost? Can Li Ming really take the joy of hearing again away from his soulmate?
He opens Heart’s personal account again. There’s only one person he corresponds with on there anyway.
If today was the last day we switched bodies what would you do?
Heart needs a little while to respond, since he isn’t like Li Ming who’s a little too attached to his phone.
Lie in your bed and listen to the sounds, probably. What about you?
I’d revel in the luxury of two monitors
Basic bitch
Go grocery shopping
You got it chief (￣^￣)ゞ
Li Ming rolls his eyes at his silly soulmate. He’ll have to apologise to Heart later but the most important thing right now is getting Heart away from parents that neglect and emotionally abuse him. Maybe he can ask the universe to make an exception for them and let them switch bodies even after they meet.
Taking a deep breath, Li Ming gets into bed.
“I’m coming home.”
“When? For how long?” Uncle Jim seems to be somewhere between glad, worried and pissed.
It’s been almost two years since Li Ming flew over to America, though his work and travel program only lasted half a year. It was a hassle to get all the right papers and the right visa and what-not but Li Ming got there in the end, and though he missed his uncle and his friends he could never bring himself to return. Well, now he can.
“In two weeks. For two weeks. I wanna spend Christmas and New Year’s with you,” Li Ming says, already looking through flights.
“Do you?” Uncle Jim asks and Li Ming can tell from his tone that he’s not happy. “What about last year, Li Ming? Did you not want to spend Christmas and New Year with us then?”
“Uncle, come on, I already told you–”
“Li Ming. Why are you coming back?”
Li Ming sighs. He can’t get out of this one, he can tell. He and his uncle have their differences but his uncle still raised him and Li Ming knows he loves him. Uncle Jim knows Li Ming well enough to know he’s hiding something from him. The fact that Li Ming told him about his soulmate that one time probably doesn’t help either.
“It’s my soulmate, uncle.” Li Ming rubs a hand over his face. “I’ll tell you more when I’m there, okay? I just wanted to tell you I’m coming and that I’ll send you the details when and where you should pick me up. Or I’ll send it to P’Wen if you want me to.”
Uncle Jim sighs. “Just send it to both of us. While you’re at it, tell the others you’re coming too. Leng’s been whining as if it’s my fault you decided to stay away. And Gaipa keeps wanting to tell me stories about Alan. Tell him to stop doing that. I don’t even know why he’s doing it.”
Li Ming knows why he’s doing it. Uncle Jim is the closest thing to a friend Gaipa has, who isn’t either Alan’s ex or busy working and taking care of his child and wife. Well, Li Ming exists but he’s halfway across the world and Gaipa prefers to cling to the person he’s telling stories to.
“Okay, uncle,” Li Ming says, smiling. “I’ll tell him.”
“You better,” Uncle Jim grumbles, then proceeds to ask Li Ming if he has any presents prepared yet. And so, their conversation slips into more normal topics as if Li Ming isn’t going home for the first time in almost two years.
For the following two weeks, Li Ming is high-strung with energy. Everytime he talks to Heart, it’s getting harder and harder not to just scream at the top of his lungs that he’s coming to get him. It isn’t as if Heart would be able to hear him proclaim so anyway. He still doesn’t know what exactly he’s going to do when his two weeks are up since Heart shouldn’t be forced to do anything, and even if he wants to accompany Li Ming, getting a visa isn’t something you just do all willy-nilly.
Wait a second, Li Ming knows Heart knows American Sign Language but will Li Ming have to learn too? He’d feel too bad knowing his soulmate can communicate with others around them but he doesn’t because he only knows his own language. No, Li Ming shouldn’t be too hasty. Who says Heart will come with him to America? Who says Heart will even leave his house? Who says their being soulmates will mean anything in a month?
Li Ming honestly tries not to overthink but it turns out to be a bit hard to do. He’ll just have to hope for the best and wing it according to how everything goes down. Before he storms Senior Sergeant Major Suphot’s house he’ll greet his family and friends first, of course. And they probably won’t let him go on his first day back, so Li Ming will have to practise patience. He can do that. He can totally do that. If that patience doesn’t have to last for over a day. Li Ming is at least self-aware enough to set that condition.
So, on a cold winter day, Li Ming is escorted to the airport by Leticia, who somehow got wind of Li Ming’s leaving, and insisted on driving him there instead of him getting a cab. She hugs him like he imagines a mom would and sends him off with a smile on her face. Maybe she is Li Ming’s American mom. Well, her family’s from Spain but she was born in the USA. She’s definitely in the right age range too.
Li Ming waves her goodbye and decides that, yeah, she’s his American mom.The fact that she made him double- and triple-check that he really packed everything only attests to that fact.
The flight back to Pattaya has two stops and takes about one and a half days. So Li Ming leaves the US on a Wednesday and arrives on Friday. He’s not too jet lagged thanks to the fact that he couldn’t sleep due to a combination of nerves and being on a plane most of the time. It’s three in the morning, so Li Ming is supposed to be tired.
Uncle Jim and Wen are waiting for him. Wen smiles at Li Ming, and Uncle Jim scowls but Li Ming can tell he’s glad to have him back.
Li Ming goes up to his uncle and hugs him. They don’t speak but Uncle Jim pats his back and Wen ruffles his hair, so Li Ming has to hold back from hugging his uncle even closer and letting the tears in his eyes fall.
“Come on then, brat,” Uncle Jim says after they separate, grabbing Li Ming’s suitcase. “I’m losing sleep because of you.”
Li Ming snorts. “I bet you’ve lost a lot more sleep to P’Wen.”
Uncle Jim slaps him upside the head but Wen is laughing, so Li Ming counts it as a win. Joking like this almost makes him forget why he came back in the first place but then Li Ming sees the Senior Sergeant Major’s house from a distance as they’re driving and he can barely hold back from telling his uncle to drive them there right now.
“Why are you vibrating?”
Li Ming startles, looking at Wen, who’s turned towards him from the passenger seat. “Huh?”
“You shake when you’re excited, anxious, impatient or anything of the sort. So, what’s up?”
Li Ming can’t believe Wen, who’s known him for two and a half years and seen him in person for not even one, noticed that. It’s not like it’s obvious, Li Ming himself doesn’t notice it most of the time. And the only light right now is coming from the street lamps they drive past. It’s not like it would have been easy to catch. But, well, Wen caught it, so Li Ming has to give an answer.
“It’s my first time back in almost two years,” he decides on. “Can’t I vibrate a little?”
“You can,” Wen says magnanimously.
They sit in silence for all of three seconds before Wen tacks on, “Especially if you’re here for your soulmate.”
“Uncle Jim!” Li Ming squawks. “You told him?”
Uncle Jim shrugs, turning on the turn signal. “He was right next to me when you called the first time. Apparently he also has some deductive reasoning skills.”
Li Ming grumbles something about privacy and people needing to learn minding their own business but it’s just on principle. It’s not like Wen is going to press Li Ming for answers, that’s not his style, and Li Ming will have to tell them something if he’s really going to take Heart home with him.
But that doesn’t mean he has to do it immediately.
When they arrive, Li Ming thanks Uncle Jim and Wen for picking him up, then trudges up into his room and falls right into bed.
He’s not in his room when he wakes up.
Fuck. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They’ve never switched bodies this quickly before. Then again, they only switched bodies four times, this time included. But still. Fuck.
Now Heart knows Li Ming is here, Uncle Jim and Wen will know he’s his soulmate, and Heart will know where Li Ming is. Heart is smart but is he smart enough to figure out why Li Ming came without having anything to piece together? Would it matter? Either way, there’s no way around Heart finding out.
He might still be asleep, simply based on the fact that Li Ming fell asleep at four, after three hours of sleep spread over two days, and maybe Li Ming’s eternal clock will mess him up a bit, but he’ll wake up at some point. What are they going to do then? Li Ming still isn’t sure if Heart even wants to meet him.
Being in Heart’s body while his own is less than two miles away from him only made Li Ming’s vibrations worse. He can actually feel them this time and he isn’t even in his own body. His chin starts shaking, his arms and hands too. If he was sitting up, his knee would be bouncing up and down relentlessly.
It’s seven in the morning, the time Heart usually wakes up, even without an alarm. Heart in Li Ming’s body is probably still asleep because Li Ming needs alarms to wake up before ten and Uncle Jim is probably going to let him sleep in on his first day back anyway. Should Li Ming wait and see if Heart comes to him on his own? He’s got the opportunity but they’ve never talked about meeting each other. What if Heart assumes that Li Ming doesn’t know he’s here and tries to spend his day as Li Ming would in accordance with Li Ming’s belief. Then again, according to that, Heart would have to come running the second he wakes up.
Li Ming groans and takes Heart’s second pillow to put over his face. This sucks.
After a while he decides to just wait it out. It’s not his strong-suit but he doesn’t want to make rash decisions in Heart’s body. So he showers and dresses before going down the stairs to get himself some breakfast.
Heart’s parents are there, pointedly ignoring the third set of tableware next to them as they’re eating. Li Ming wants to punch them.
He’s never asked Heart about his parents directly and even if he had, Heart probably wouldn’t have told him about this. His parents can’t even be bothered to call him down for breakfast despite the maid already having set the table for him.
Li Ming himself hasn’t met the maid but Heart told him she’s a woman in her sixties who gifts Heart massive amounts of candy when his parents aren’t around to see. Mrs Channarong, Heart calls her. She doesn’t know sign language either, except for the most basic signs of thank you and I don’t understand but that’s more than what Heart’s parents know, and according to Heart she works more than twelve hours a day. Li Ming can accept her not learning sign language for a client when she probably only works and sleeps anyway.
He pointedly sits down in Heart’s place and starts eating without acknowledging his parents. He can see Heart’s mother try to talk to him out of the corner of his eyes but he won’t turn to face her until she’s made him notice her. He’s been deaf for five years, how do they still try to talk to him? And from the side, to top it off.
Heart’s father finishes breakfast first. He doesn’t even wait for his wife to finish before he gets up, much less his son. Heart’s mother stays a little longer but in the end leaves before Li Ming is done eating, too. It’s unsurprising but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make Li Ming mad.
He sits, staring at the table even after he’s done eating, just so he doesn’t do something stupid. If he was in his own body he wouldn’t care but it’s different in Heart’s. And it’s not like Li Ming could even shout at Heart’s parents in this state since it would only hurt Heart.
Someone taps him on the shoulder, and Li Ming turns to come face to face with an elderly woman. She smiles at him, points at the food, then lifts her hands to gesture a thumbs-up, her head tilted in question. She says something too, slow enough for even Li Ming to be able to read her lips.
“Was it good?”
Li Ming smiles and nods. He signs and mouths back at her, Delicious.
Mrs Channarong gets a gleam in her eye as she smiles back. She reaches out and pats Li Ming’s head before starting to clear the table. Having been raised by Uncle Jim and feeling it disrespectful to just sit by and watch her when she’s the only one in Heart’s life who actually interacts with him beside Li Ming himself, he gets up to help her. She puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head but Li Ming makes sure she knows that it’s fine, he wants to help her.
It seems in character enough for Heart since she just gives up without protest, though it’s obvious she doesn’t like that Heart is helping her. Well, too bad, Li Ming has already sorted her into the ‘good for Heart’ category, which currently consists of two people. Him and her.
He spends a bit of time helping her clear up the table, then puts everything into the dishwasher. He knows she wants to protest but being deaf proves to be a blessing in this case. She’ll try to complain and he can shake his head and sign, I don’t understand, to make her scowl but let him do as he wishes.
Li Ming is glad that there was at least someone who didn’t alienate Heart for being deaf the last five years, though his parents obviously still damaged him. He shudders to think what it would be like if Heart didn’t have anyone.
To keep himself occupied, Li Ming offers to help Mrs Channarong clean the house. The look of disapproval he gets for that is enough to immediately make him rescind his offer.
He can’t even stress-clean Heart’s room because the other boy is impossibly neat. Li Ming himself enjoys having organised chaos but he’s not messy, and he likes cleaning for the routine of it. Helping out in the restaurant and being raised by Uncle Jim did that to him but he’s not complaining.
Well, he is complaining now that he can’t actually use that in his favour. Usually people like when Li Ming offers to help them clean but he supposes since it’s Mrs Channarong’s job, he obviously wouldn’t get the same reaction. Though that means Li Ming’s mind is unoccupied and he has time to overthink again. It’s barely even nine at this point.
Li Ming looks through Heart’s work files to see if he can understand everything he signs. Heart really interprets for everyone who asks. There’s official announcements, ads and even movies and TV shows. And since he knows three sign languages, he has a lot to do. Most of it is Thai, of course, but he still gets plenty of jobs for American and Spanish sign language.
Li Ming is so incredibly proud of Heart for doing something even with the constraints his parents put on him. Heart’s parents don’t even know their son works and earns his own money.
Li Ming should really work on not making himself angry with his thoughts every other minute.
At ten, Li Ming has taken to bouncing a ball he found off the ground, against the wall and back to where he’s sitting on the bed. Heart should wake up soon, unless Li Ming’s body decides to sleep through his usual time due to his lack of sleep. The wait is even more agonising than he would have expected. Then again, Li Ming has never been a particularly patient person.
At eleven, Li Ming is so anxious, he’s signing to himself to pass time. Every time he looks at the clock it seems that only a few minutes have passed when it feels like hours. He’s running out of things to do because he’s trying not to think of Heart while staying in Heart’s room, in Heart’s body. It also doesn’t help that Li Ming thinks of Heart at least once a day anyway.
At twelve, Li Ming is searching where this family’s cleaning supplies are. Mrs Channarong left ten minutes ago, flickering Heart’s lights to get his attention. That made Li Ming want to strangle Heart’s parents again for not even being able to do that to tell Heart something. And then he had the genius idea to deep-clean Heart’s room to pass time since Mrs Channarong isn’t there to judge him anymore.
It takes him ten minutes wandering the house to realise they don’t have any cleaning supplies. Mrs Channarong brings her own, meaning Li Ming can’t even wipe down the desk. At that point, Li Ming is so done with his situation, he makes good use of the swear words he taught himself just so he can sign, This fucking sucks.
At that point, it’s been so long since he ate breakfast that he’s hungry again. At least that’s a welcome distraction, so he goes to see if there’s anything prepared for him in the fridge. There’s what appears to be left-over chicken, and Li Ming wonders if it came from his uncle’s truck. So much for a distraction.
At one in the afternoon, Li Ming decides taking a walk can only do him good. So he braces for the warm Thai winter and leaves the house. The perimeters are big enough to take a walk without seeing another person or leaving Senior Sergeant Major Suphot’s property. It’s technically not against the rule of staying inside.
Li Ming steps outside and promptly forgets how to breathe. Someone is coming up the driveway. By foot. And that someone looks a suspicious lot like himself.
Heart.
It’s even trippier seeing himself from someone else’s eyes in person, especially knowing it’s his soulmate in his body. Heart is walking with purpose, eyes focused on the ground in front of him.
Li Ming must have made a noise of some kind. His throat stings and Heart looks up. The instant their eyes lock, Li Ming feels a sensation like when the rollercoaster suddenly drops, only that he also feels sick at the same time. Rollercoasters are usually fun.
Li Ming has to close his eyes against the sensation. His nose feels like he inhaled water, his stomach is turning. He gags and he hears it.
When he opens his eyes again, he’s looking at Heart. Not Heart in Li Ming’s body but Heart in his own. Heart is staring back at him.
Li Ming understand now, why the univere wouldn’t count seeing each other through a screen as an actual first meeting. Seeing Heart in person through his own eyes is breathtaking. Li Ming’s heart skips several beats and his eyes are roaming over the other boy.
Li Ming takes the last few steps closer, then lifts his hands to sign and say, “Heart.”
Heart nods, then signs back, Li Ming.
The other boy hesitates, then moves his hands to sign again. It’s the first character of Li Ming’s name followed by the sign for soulmate.
Li Ming feels like the air was punched out of him. He’s hugging Heart just after he starts lowering his hands again. Heart immediately hugs him back, burying his face in Li Ming’s neck.
Their heights are quite similar, with Li Ming being just a little shorter than Heart but not enough for either of them to have noticed while being in each other’s bodies. They fit together perfectly, neither too tall or too short for each other.
Heart is carding his hand through Li Ming’s hair at the back of his head, his nose pressed to his skin. Li Ming can feel the goosebumps on his body forming in response. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the way Heart is breathing against his skin, the way his fingernails are raking over his scalp or just from Heart being this close to him.
They step back after a while, looking into each other’s eyes. Heart’s have a lighter shade of brown than Li Ming’s own. He’s never noticed before because he’s never paid this much attention to it while being in Heart’s body.
“Did you come here for me?” Li Ming asks, and Heart nods in response.
Your uncle and P’Wen knew from the beginning that I wasn’t you because I wasn’t grumbling about waking up. They told me about being in Pattaya. You didn’t tell them about me?
Li Ming needs a little time to properly process what Heart signed, then shakes his head. “They only knew I came here for you. But until the last time we switched bodies I didn’t know you live in Pattaya and I didn’t really tell my uncle about you in the first place. Not because I didn’t want to. I just…”
Li Ming can’t finish that last sentence. He doesn’t know why he didn’t tell his uncle or any of his friends about Heart. Except for that very first time, Li Ming never talked to anyone about his soulmate. Maybe he just wanted to have something that was solely his, his own little oasis.
Heart smiles, signing, I understand.
Nodding dumbly, Li Ming goes back to staring at Heart. He wanted to get Heart away from his parents but he never imagined how it would actually go down. And even if he did, he never would have been able to come up with this scenario.
Heart lifts a hand to tap Li Ming’s cheek, then asks, Want to go into my room?
Li Ming nods.
They sit on Heart’s bed and talk. Li Ming tells Heart about why he’s here, and that he’s sorry he didn’t tell the other boy, and Heart tells Li Ming that he understands, the he wished for Li Ming to come and get him for a while now.
Li Ming made him realise that people would be willing to learn sign language for him, even Mrs Channarong is an example for that, and that being deaf doesn’t mean he’s unfit for society. Having to go out and interact with others in Li Ming’s body made Heart think about how it would be if he went out in his own. He was scared before, not having interacted with anyone beside his parents and Mrs Channarong, though those moments were barely interactions at all.
“You’d be fine with leaving here?” Li Ming asks and Heart nods.
It’s lonely. And after the last time, I could already tell you were up to something. I looked up salaries for interpreters in Atlanta. It’s even higher than national average.
Li Ming’s brain stops working for a second. “You want to come to the US with me?”
Heart nods, then tilts his head. Do you not want me to?
Panicked, Li Ming waves his hands in front of him and shakes his head. He just didn’t expect Heart to be so willing to leave Thailand behind, especially because the paperwork takes months.
He tells Heart all this but Heart just grins.
Your uncle told me I can stay with him and P’Wen, he replies. Li Ming’s eyebrows shoot up at that. I told him you were probably planning to take me away and he said he couldn’t expect anything else from you and that I was welcome to stay with him if I didn’t mind that he doesn’t know sign language yet.
“And you’re okay with that?” Li Ming asks, just because he wants to make sure. They’re both adults and can make their own choices but he doesn’t want Heart to do this just because Li Ming is his soulmate.
I’m okay, Heart assures him, then lays a hand on Li Ming’s. He leans a little closer, his eyes dart down to Li Ming’s mouth for a second before they’re looking back into his eyes again. Li Ming can’t help but glance at Heart’s mouth too.
Can I kiss you? He signs but can’t bring himself to speak. Heart leans even closer, going a little cross-eyed, and nods.
Their lips brush in a barely-there kiss and Li Ming can feel the goosebumps again. Heart presses closer, his eyes closed. Li Ming closes his eyes too and reciprocates.
He supposes they don’t have to talk about it with how obviously fond they are for each other. If famously dense Li Ming can tell Heart on the other side of the world has a crush on him, then brilliant Heart knows about Li Ming’s crush too.
One of Li Ming’s hands comes up to rest on the side of Heart’s face but their kisses don’t deepen. They’re a bit open-mouthed but there’s no tongue involved, and they’re taking their sweet time.
When they pull back, Heart looks utterly besotted. Li Ming doubts he looks much different.
When are you going back? Heart asks.
“The week after New Year’s . I haven’t taken any vacation days since I started working outside of my Work and Travel program.”
Heart gives him a disappointed look for that but Li Ming just closes his eyes and turns his head away. Considering Heart can’t really speak, this is going to be a very effective way of ignoring what he wants to say in the future, Li Ming realises. He doubts it’s going to happen often but every couple has their ups and downs. Li Ming pauses at his own thoughts. He opens his eyes again to see Heart roll his eyes.
“Are we a couple now?” Li Ming asks when the other boy is looking at him again.
Heart flicks Li Ming’s forehead and responds, Of course. Idiot.
The insult looses all of its sting with the way Heart is looking at him. Li Ming grins.
“Can I kiss you again?”
This time Heart doesn’t even nod before he leans in.
They still have a lot more to discuss. They have to tell Heart’s parents, unfortunately, and they’ll have to think about what their living arrangements will be when Heart comes to Atlanta but that’s in the future. Right now, Li Ming is threading his hands through Heart’s hair and focusing on the little puffs of air escaping the other boy. Everything else can wait for later.