Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Hey, you doing okay?"

Chan took in the sight before him, a smaller boy but still close to his age, sitting and staring down off the edge of the wall they were perched on, watching the humans live life below them. He seemed melancholy, a heavy look on his face and shoulders. 

Parks were always big places where imaginaries (or imaginary friends as human children had deemed them) saw each other simply because humans gathered there- yet imaginaries were visible only to each other, existing on another plane of existence. Sometimes the person imagining them could see their friend, and sometimes they couldn't- but thankfully imaginaries could see each other, making this life a lot less lonely.

"I just...I don't want to be forgotten."

Oh. Chan had felt this before. All imaginaries had, living only as long as your person needed you, as their mind was in need enough to construct someone to carry them through. "But being forgotten means you've done your job. And done it well." Chan took a breath, "what's your name, kid?"

"Jeongin." The boys sharp cheekbones and slightly soft jawline, his perfectly chiseled face graceful and gentle. His cheeks were sparkling in lines, where tears would be falling if it was possible for imaginaries to produce human traits like tears and crying. "Yours?"

Instead imaginaries just felt the emotions bubble up, and had tears glisten and sparkle in their eyes and on their cheeks instead of having actual tears trail down, had their stomachs turn instead of getting hot with anger, had their skin nearly vibrate and pulse instead of shaking with grief or guilt. They had their cheeks ache with the pain of smiling but never quite reached it- and it was useless anyway, most imaginaries didn't feel truly happy until they fade away, or so they said. But even that happy was always littered with a small amount of grief.

Chan wasn’t sure what he believed on that.

"Well Jeongin, I'm Chan. And I get it. It hurts a little doesn't it? Thinking of them growing all the rest of the way, and you're no longer a piece of how they're doing it, no longer needed to keep them from falling, just a spirit only as bright as their childishness, however strong that is in them." Chan felt his own cheeks start to burn, knowing imaginary tears would be trailing down his face if it was possible. Fading was a particularly sensitive topic for Chan. "Your person is here too?"

Imaginaries usually appeared in childhood on average, and lasted until the child reached a mental maturity where they didn’t believe in things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy. But in most cases of long lasting imaginaries like Chan and Jeongin, the child hadn’t created them for a friend. 

They’d created them out of need to hold the sad or heavy memories and lessons, to help them through difficult times. And with reasons like that, the creation of imaginaries could happen at any age, and go for years upon years in some. However long the mind needed it.

"Yeah. I'm new, but my person is older then most of them here," Jeongin pointed over to an older boy. "He's the oldest in his family, and so scared of growing up. He's got little brothers, but doing it all first without guidance, that terrifies him. His parents expect him to be so perfect, but growing up is utterly terrifying, especially doing it alone."

Chan looked on, watching the older boy, clearly in his late teens, teach a couple younger kids how to properly shoot a basketball through the hoop. "Well he's not doing it alone. He has you."

"Yeah but I'm still younger then he is. I don't know why he would imagine and create a friend that's basically just another little brother." Jeongin sighed, clearly having agonized over this quite a bit in his own mind.

Chan thought for a moment. Chan's existence was odd, he didn't have a person really- not anymore. He'd had one, but when they'd reached Fade Away, the moment he wasn’t needed in the mind anymore, he'd only faded from his person's imagination and not his existence. "My person was a young kid, who hadn't had a dad. They wanted a father figure, someone to give them the guidance they never had. So I did. But you," Chan pointed at Jeongin and then the boy imagining him, "he wanted someone who he didn't feel would be completely hurt if he messed up. Someone he wouldn't "ruin" if that was even possible. He wanted a little brother who could show him how to be a big brother, but also his friend. That's why you're imagined the way you are."

Jeongin looked up at Chan. "How do you know that?" His eyes were full of amazement, awe and gratitude.

Chan squirmed a little internally at the awe being shown at him, "Because I can see how much your worth to that boy, Innie."

Jeongin, who'd started to watch his person, snapped his head up at the new name. "Innie? No one's ever called me that before- it's so young, sounds a little like childhood. If that even makes sense."

Chan felt himself pause, not knowing where the name Innie had come from. "Yeah, it feels like a little kid's nickname. Do you like it?"

Most imaginary friends were only partially developed into the concept a human would recognize as a person, existing in a human’s mind as an extension of their own thoughts that was them. But an imaginary’s job was far more extensive then simply telling the human something wasn’t safe and being their voice of reason internally, but also holding darker things back from tormenting the human. Because of this, even imaginaries created by a child to be a child, they didn’t have much of what a human would consider childishness. 

"Yeah, hyung, I do."

"Hyung?" Chan felt his cheeks somehow burn with smiling pains but also tears at the same time. That was new. It felt…rewarding a little bit.

"Yeah." Innie smiled as strong as imaginaries could. Yet it seemed to glow, almost like a real human's did. "I've never had a hyung before, but I think you're a pretty good one."

"Oh." Chan looked out on the park, taking in the sights. Kids and adults of all ages played and talked, interacting like humans do. Watching them simply exist with each other would never get old for Chan, it was truly beautiful the way they connected somehow with people they'd never had their life paths cross with before. "I've never been called hyung before- but I think I like it."

Innie laughed. "Good. Cause you're my hyung forever."

Chan looked at Innie. Imaginaries never talked about forever, there wasn't one for them. "Forever? Even after we Fade Away?"

Innie's smile somehow glowed more. "Even after, hyung."

Chan's stomach felt as if it was spinning but for once it wasn't with an emotion he was feeling off someone else. It didn't feel bad either, just new.

Just like being a hyung was. "I'll be the best hyung ever."

"You don't even have to try, Channie-hyung. You already are."

Hyunjin and Jisung shared a person.

It was extremely rare for a person to have an in-need enough state of mind to imagine more then one imaginary, let alone be strong enough to see them enough in their mind to give them appearances. Usually appearances were sort of up to the universe, giving them a face even if their person never saw it.

But their person, the one they shared, was a teenage girl, one who had been dealt difficult cards, yet had become very good at playing the game. 

She'd had too.

As they sat up in the rafters watching down on the big warehouse full of an art convention they were in, they felt unbelievably happy. Their person was practically skipping around, going from booth to booth, with the biggest smile on her face. She'd been looking forward to this day for ages. Their person had drawn them countless times, even if they were just “characters” in her stories to her.

"Is your person an artist too?"

Hyunjin and Jisung looked up to the new voice. It was a man with a softly pointed chin, smile creased eyes, and hair that looked almost as soft as his skin. "Yeah, she paints and writes poetry. She's over there-" Jisung said, pointing to a girl with long blue hair and a open sketchbook in her hands, drawing someone posing for her. "She's seventeen today, it was a birthday present for herself."

"Aw. I'm glad she's having fun." The man pointed down at the space next to Hyunjin who was closest to him, "may I sit with you?"

Hyunjin nodded. "Yeah. Is your person an artist here today too?"

The man seemed to think for a moment. "They like writing songs and making music. We came here a couple times in the past."

"Humans find such passion in their art, it's beautiful. I always loved how deep it ran in all of them, even if they considered themselves unable to do any of it. They all had a form of it." Jisung said, "it's almost like a gift the universe gives each of them, their form of art to show how they’re human. It's so pretty."

The man sat almost amazed looking at him. "You're really good with your words, I haven't ever thought of that before."

Hyunjin laughed. "That's Jisung for you. He's always spoken as if the universe is this beautiful thing, that's something he shares with our person."

"Jisung? Cool name." He smiled. "I'm Chris, or Chan, either one. What's yours?" He asked, looking at the longer haired blonde boy.

"Hyunjin."

"Well if Jisung here is who shares the whimsical voice with your person, I'm guessing you share the artistic eye?" Chan asked. "It's rare to have two imaginaries, she must have a big imagination."

Hyunjin perked up in interest. "I do- I help her come up with the ideas for her paintings and drawings sometimes. She's got such a big imagination on her own though, I think that's why she created both of us."

"That's why we look so perfect, Jinnie, that's for sure."

Chan laughed. "How close in age are you too? I swear I've never met two imaginaries that seem so strongly like brothers."

"We're a few months apart. She’s developed it all in her stories and drawings, I’m glad for it.” Hyunjin said. “You know how it is, some details just are never imagined for most."

Chan nodded, he himself knew vaguely he was in his early twenties, or somewhere around there, but was unable to place how old. His person just had never imagined it. "You two are such strong forms too, thank you both for being there for your person."

Both boys looked at him in surprise. It wasn't taboo to mention how strong someone was imagined, but it wasn't often pointed out, as it usually meant either their person just had a strong imagination, or had been through way more then ever thought possible. Thanking another friend wasn't ever really done either.

"We've never been thanked before." Jisung blurted.

"Yeah, not many of us are. That's why when I interact with people, I try to remember to thank them for doing all they do. Being an imaginary isn't easy, I mean we're literally created to carry all the things too hard to burden alone, to hold them so for once our person can breathe."

"You have a way with words too, hyung. Just like Jisungie."

Chan looked up, surprise on his face. "You're the second person to call me hyung."

Jisung smiled, and if even possible, jumped up without moving from his seat. "Make that three! I wanna call you hyung too if my brother is."

Chan laughed. "Well now I know who's the hyung between you too."

Hyunjin laughed and reached over and took Chan's hand. "Our person has been through a lot, we're just happy to be able to help her." Hyunjin leaned closer and pretended to whisper, "and to let you know, I'm older.”

Jisung pouted and reached over, tugging on their hands, but the playfulness in his eyes betrayed him. "You just never let me be the boss!" He exclaimed to Hyunjin, who just laughed in his face.

Chan smiled. "Well I can tell you're both younger then me so, I guess I win."

Both boys laughed, and somehow got closer to each other where they sat contact connecting them subtly. Chan looked on and smiled, "I'm glad you're both there for your person. She's most definitely extremely thankful to you too."

They calmed, and looked at their person below, having finished her drawing and showing it off to everyone with her. Proud.

Just like Chan was of his two new friends.

"Thank you, hyung." Jisung said.

Chan looked at him. "Huh?"

Hyunjin smiled. "Thank you."

Chan just smiled. It was only two words, but somehow made him far more happy then anything else could at the moment, even if he felt a little like they weren't fully deserved.

"I'll be the best hyung for you two, I promise."

Hyunjin and Jisung weren't the first imaginaries he'd made that promise too, but it didn't make it any less true.

Innie would like these boys.

"Felix, it's okay! I promise!"

"But he h-hurt him, and I can't do anything!"

"Seungmin, Yongbok’s gonna pass out at this rate-"

Chan turned the corner, coming around the wall to a secluded off booth in the restaurant. "Is everything okay?"

The blonde boy sitting on the booth crying didn't even glance up at the entrance of a new voice, but the other two did. Both boys looked like they'd seen quite a bit, but seemed incredibly emotionally strong in their faces.

The younger boy looked at him and talked as he rubbed his friend's arm, kneeling on the floor to be able to see his friend's face. His hair hung over his forehead and almost into his eyes, and despite what seemed like a quiet exterior, he seemed quite powerful. "Yeah, um, everything's fine. His person just got cheated on, had to go to work despite it, leaving him a wreck so he is."

Chan looked at the blonde boy inconsolably sobbing, yet no tears came from his face but his cheeks were radiating like the sun with sparkles- it was almost blinding. It was almost more painful being an imaginaries in cases like this, because whereas humans released their emotions through their tears, decompressing, imaginaries couldn't. They were literally built to hold it all.

But if the boy kept losing it like that, both him and his person would pass out from emotional exhaustion and it wouldn't be pleasant.

"And he won't calm down?"

"No, we've tried, now what do you want?" Chan stepped back and raised his hands to the hostile boy stepping between him and the other two. His hair was purple, and his face extremely perfect, almost made more beautiful by the protective anger it showed. His eyes were dark, his aura extremely powerful.

"I don't mean to make anything worse. I just heard crying and was worried."

The boy standing perfectly toe to toe with him, clearly prepping for if he had to fight, didn't settle. "Okay and? You know what's going on now-"

"Minho, it's okay. He was just coming over to see if he could help," the boy on the floor said, "right?" He directed at Chan.

"Yeah." Chan turned his gaze back toward the purple haired boy, Minho. "Can I see if I can help calm your friend down? Emotions are high here right now in all three of you, maybe a grounded mindset would help."

Minho opened his mouth, but Chan could practically hear where his mind had taken that statement. "I don't mean to say you two aren't doing a good job, I'm just worried for him and his person getting hurt more."

Minho didn't budge, nor speak. Chan watched the boy on the floor leaned over and placed a hand on the only place he could reach, his friend's calf. "It's okay, let him help. We're at a lost, maybe he can do something."

Chan looked at Minho, trying to convey the softest expression on his face yet. "I promise I won't hurt him."

Minho sighed and stepped to the side, "I'm watching you. Don't make it worse."

Chan nodded and walked the couple steps over and sat down the blonde boy. "Hi, I'm Chan, can I tell you about something?"

The boy didn't respond, but Chan kept talking anyway.

"My person was always young and too busy, so I never really got up to the stage where they got cheated on, but my person's mother did. A couple times actually. But do you wanna know something?" Chan paused and gently sat his hand on the boy's arm, both his hands being held by his friend on the floor. "She always got over it. It hurt, yeah, and left some issues with trust, but one day she'd actually found someone to love her without conditions and with trust as someone should. She'd just had to learn how to look for that kind of love, and sometimes it's not a pretty path to do so. It's sad yeah, but you can't do anything about it except accept that it happened, sit and listen to your emotions for as long as you need, and then start to pull yourself up."

Chan looked up at the other two and watched them. Both boys seemed as if their humans paths with love had been hard too, if their tough exteriors were anything to by. "There's many forms of love. So many kinds. And it won't always be romantic love that blows up in your person's face. Sometimes a friend will ghost them, or their parent will hurt them. Sometimes a sibling will break their trust, or the universe will deal blow after blow. But either way, the one consistent thing about love, is it's ruthlessly strong."

"Ruthless?"

Chan jumped a little internally, not expected to hear him speak. His sobs had quieted a little, though his breathing still erratic and had he been able to produce tears, they would have just slowed, not stopped. "Yeah, ruthless." Chan paused to word his sentences right. "It constantly is trying to reform itself. To find new ways to patch up your heart and give it to someone else if it gets broken. To keep contact and hold of those who already had it, to not stray too far from where it knows love is. No matter how hard it gets battered down, with really no care for how hurt it gets in the process."

Chan breathed again, lightly rubbing his thumb on the blonde boy's arm. "Kinda like a stray. A stray will always try to return to where it got food, where it sought shelter, where it had safety. But a stray never stays a stray."

"They don't?" He asked quietly.

"No." Chan smiled small. "A stray will find home again somehow. Just like a stray will always find love again."

The boy looked up at Chan. "So you think it's entirely possible for my person to get better?"

"I know he'll get better. Humans are just ruthlessly resilient as love is."

"Oh."

"And hey," Chan brushed a hand through the boy's hair. "We're made of the same stuff."

Minho walked over and sat on the other side of the boy, resting his head against the boy's shoulder. "It'll be okay, we promise." He whispered.

They all sat there a moment, listening to the young boy's breaths slow to a less concerning rate, even if they still shook. Time seemed to slow, as they all just listened and breathed, simply just sitting in the proximity.

A sniffle caught Chan's attention, causing him and pull himself from where he was zoning out looking ahead to look down at the boy. "I'm Felix."

"Hi Felix, I'm Chan. It's nice to meet you." He replied softly.

"I'm Seungmin, and the short, dark and mysterious one that nearly punched you for existing is Minho." Seungmin looked at Chan with a deadpan look on his face, but Chan could tell he wasn't pissed off or anything. "He's all strong and tough, but he's really a softie, so don't worry too much about it."

“Oh, okay, that’s comforting I guess?” Chan muttered a little louder then he meant too, making Felix laugh and Minho scoff.

“I only punch the assholes. So far, you’re not one.” Minho said.

“I’ll stay that way, I’d rather not get punched, thanks.” Chan shot back. It was clear Minho’s main creation point had been to harness and hold anger, and react quickly to protect his person, often with the only thing that would work- violence.

“Is your person here too?” Seungmin asked. “You know now that Felix’s is a waiter here. Our three humans are friends, and ours decided to stay here until his shift was over.”

Chan didn’t often tell people that he didn’t have a person anymore, and he wasn’t about to start now- but he’d become quite good at bending the actual truth just enough so it sounded like his person was still needing him. “His family loves this restaurant. They come here a lot.”

“Yeah, we see a lot of the same imaginaries here cause of that.” Felix said. “Not all of them are nice, that’s for sure.”

Chan nodded. He’d met his fair share of rude imaginaries that were built off their person’s issues. “You gonna be okay, Lixie?”

Felix looked up, “hey that’s a new one.”

“A new one?”

“Yeah,” Felix started, “Minho-hyung here usually calls me Yongbok-ah or variations of that, and Seungmin just kinda yells whatever comes to mind first- Lixie’s new, I like it.” Felix paused. “I call Minho ‘hyung’, can I call you that too?”

Chan felt the same bubble grow in his throat that had the last two times he’d been called that. “Y-yeah. Go ahead.”

“Thanks hyung.”

“He better not be stealing my position as best hyung, Yongbok-ah, or we’ll have issues.” Minho threatened.

Felix giggled, “uh huh, sure, Minho-hyung.”

Chan looked at Minho and Seungmin, and like usually, could just tell he was older. Most imaginaries could with things like that, it was almost an instinctual thing. “You both can too, if you’re comfortable with it. If not, I don’t mind.”

“Sure, hyung.” Seungmin said.

Minho just looked at Chan. “I’ll call you hyung as long as you swear to punch anyone that looks at Seungminnie or Yongbok wrong.”

Chan was taken aback by the demand, but knew almost immediately what his answer was. “Yeah, of course.”

“Good, these two like to cause trouble, just like their humans.”

“We don’t cause trouble!” Felix exclaimed, “we’re well behaved!”

“Yeah sure and I can regulate my emotions.” Minho deadpanned.

Chan laughed. From the pure look of betrayal on both Seungmin’s and Felix’s faces, he could tell Minho was right. As he watched the three begin to bicker and taunt each other, his heart felt a little more full.

Sometimes, Chan was sure he was more then an imaginary, because what imaginary craved to find pieces of his heart like this?

And what imaginary actually found them?

“Hey, um, do you know how to calm a human down from a ragey mental breakdown?”

Chan jolted from where he’d been watching the ocean lost in thought through the floor to ceiling window. “Huh?”

He turned towards the voice, to see a very muscled man standing there, anxiously twisting his hands and looking sick to his stomach. Oh. So his person was having a ragey mental breakdown. “Do you know how to calm down a human from a mental breakdown caused by rage?” The man repeated the question.

“Not exactly, but maybe I can help?” Chan answered, getting up from his spot on the floor. 

That didn’t seem to ease the man at all, his hands getting more fidgety, his shoulders somehow tighter. “Hey, man, you gotta try and calm down if you wanna help your human at all. Are you okay?” Chan asked.

“No, no, I’m not-” The man shook his head violently. “My human, they got outed and-”

Chan knew this kind of story, “-and it wasn’t good, was it?”

The man seemed to deflate in defeat. “No. We’re on a school trip to the beach resort here, and there was a makeout session and someone else took pictures and said pictures got sent back home-”

“And now your human is scared of going home knowing what awaits them.”

“Yeah. And also extremely angry at whoever took and sent the pictures.” The man’s fists balled at that, and Chan could fill in the context clues of the “rage” part of the breakdown.

“I’m so sorry.” Chan said softly. “Whoever did that is extremely fucked in the head.”

The man looked up at him with pure fire in his eyes. “If it was even possible, fuck- I don’t think they’d live another day.”

Chan looked at the man and sighed. Violence was never the answer but also…he would most definitely be ready to back this man’s six up instantly for it if needed.

He looked at the man and gestured towards the floor in front of the giant window overlooking the ocean. “Your human will be okay for a few moments thinking for themselves, I can’t imagine your even in the right headspace to help at the moment anyway, so why don’t we sit and talk through yours so you can go back and figure them out?”

The man seemed to hesitate. “But-”

“You are an extension of your human’s mind. Yes, you are your own being with thoughts and consciousness in our world, but in theirs you’re simply an extension of them, meaning you’re rooted in how they feel and act and your feelings effect them. Kind of a weird feedback loop in a sense.” Chan explained, even though he knew the man already knew all this. Sometimes it helped to hear it again. “If we can’t calm them down, we can calm you down, and hopefully it will break through the rest of their mind. It’s part of our job.”

The man nodded, and took a breath. “Yeah okay.” He said, sitting on the ground. 

Chan followed. “I’m Chan, or Chris, either or is fine. Can I know your name?”

“Changbin. Sometimes it’s wild to me how we only exist here. Like ghosts.”

Chan paused for a moment. “Yeah, we’re kinda like ghosts aren’t we? I never thought of it that way.” He looked over at the flowing ocean, moving to and from without any care, simply pure power.

“Who's your human?” Changbin asked. “Are they another student?”

Chan shook his head. That was a fair question, normal and completely ordinary, like asking where someone’s from. But for Chan it was so much more then that, heavier and harder to explain- he’d never met someone like him.

Yet, something in him made him want to trust Changbin anyway. “Um, I’m a complicated case.”

“Complicated? Are you from a multiple?”

A multiple was a case like Hyunjin and Jisung, not him, Chan thought. “No, um, I don’t have a person. Not anymore.”

Changbin paused at looked at Chan in pure disbelief. “Then how the fuck do you exist?” He blurted.

Chan jolted at the blunt question. “Um-”

Changbin raised his hands, panic on his face. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, that was an unfiltered thought-”

Chan smiled and huffed a small laugh. “No, it’s okay. I’ve never told anyone before but honestly that’s probably a really fair reaction-” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I had a person, years and years ago it feels like. When they were around nineteen they reached what should’ve been my fade point, but I only disappeared from their mind. Not existence.”

Changbin looked confused as he fiddled with a zipper on his pants. “Wait, so since then you’ve just been wandering?”

Chan shrugged his shoulders. “Most of my time I just kinda wander between old places in the town they grew up in. But occasionally I end up in places like this, without really knowing how I got here. I once ended up at a random park. I don’t know why.”

“Oh.” Changbin muttered. “Your situation is as confusing as mine, to be honest. I don’t know how to help with yours though- I don’t even know how to fix mine.”

Chan shrugged. “Yours is more pressing though. As far as I know I have eternity to figure out mine.” He sighed. “I think you just have to let yours run it’s course though.”

Changbin looked up. “What do you mean? I gotta fix it.”

Chan nodded. “Well you can only aid the mental state of your human. Were they okay with their sexuality before this?”

Changbin nodded. “Yeah, decently fine with it, had friends like them and all that. But their parents were always the problem, even if they didn’t know anything of their daughter’s identity.”

“Okay, so she was okay mentally before. But being outed is a huge betrayal, and like ruins your trust with everything, including the universe. So I’d keep an eye on how she feels about her sexuality.” Chan leaned back against the window, setting his head against the cold glass. “But you can’t do anything, because she can’t. She’ll have to go home eventually, and her parents might fucking go apeshit, but all you can do is if it gets dangerous, convince her to get out of there.”

“To leave? Like- like run away?” Changbin stuttered, clearly anxious at the thought. He gripped his pants tighter in his left hand.

“Whatever is right for her. Her safety has to be the priority.” Chan closed his eyes. “It’s such a cruel thing- outing someone.”

“I just- I feel like I could’ve done something you know?” Changbin sighed, expserated and gestured in exhaustion. “Like, maybe kept watch, triggered something to get her to back off, make her feel an instinct like something was wrong. But I was just wanting to hold back her fear and wait away from her for a moment, let her feel what she had been looking for, you know? Experience something her fear kept stopping her from.”

Changbin rested his head in his hands. “We’re built to hold all the hard stuff, like I can hold the anxiety and fear back for her to live a little you know? It’s what I’m good at- I just feel like I failed.”

Chan shook his head and sat forward. “Look at me, Bin.” He placed a hand on Changbin’s knee. “Nothing you, or her, could’ve done would’ve made that end differently. The blame is all on the asshole who took the picture and couldn’t keep their mouth shut. There is nothing wrong with wanting to love, wanting to live.”

“You’re really good with words, yknow?” Changbin looked up from his hands as he spoke. “Somehow, they make me feel really comforted.”

Chan smiled. “I’ve been told that before.” 

“Well whoever told you that, tell them they’re also a genius.”

Chan laughed and thought back to Hyunjin. “If I see them again, I’ll make sure too for you, Binnie.”

Changbin laughed, before looking out towards the water again. “I should probably get back to them, start helping them sort through their thoughts.”

Chan nodded. “I’ll be here for awhile, so if you need me come back okay?”

“Thank you.” Changbin stood and stepped back a little. “I hope we see each other again somewhere else too, Chan.”

“Call me hyung,” Chan blurted. He’d never really asked someone that bluntly, was that even okay?

Changbin smiled. “Got it, hyung. You’re brilliant, you know?”

Chan shook his head, and had it been possible, would’ve blushed up his whole face. “No-”

Changbin began walking backwards, back the way he came down the hall. “Nope. I’m a genius. I know everything and I say you’re brilliant. Can’t tell me I’m wrong!” He yelled as he kept walking backwards.

“If you keep walking backwards, you’re gonna fall!” Chan laughed. 

“No!” Changbin said, determined to walk backwards all the way now. “I’m a genius, geniuses don’t fall!”

Chan smiled and laughed as Changbin turned the corner.

And not a moment later-

Crash. “Shit!” 

Chan laughed quietly to himself, lifting his gaze to the water. “He fell didn’t he?” He mumbled to himself.

Number seven to call him hyung. How wild?

That was more people then he thought he’d ever consider friends.

Chan liked the hustle and bustle of airports.

He'd only been to a few, having traveled only a couple times with his human before life had them part ways.

But today something had brought him here just like the park, he'd kinda just....

Well to be frank, woken up here.

So Chan walked and wandered, noticing all the different imaginaries wandering between the humans and above them on the airports platforms and roof rafters and such.

"Channie-hyung?"

Chan spun on his heel, in search of the voice, but saw no one. He could've sworn that voice sounded like-

"Not there, here!"

In about one and a half blinks, another imaginary dropped down from a beam above him to in front of his eye line-

And look at that. He was right.

"Hi Jeongin, what are you doing here?"

"We flew in just a little bit ago, we're here for a concert!" He was all smiles, his foxy grin holding its usual levels of what could probably be labeled as mischief.

"Oh that's fun! I've never been to a concert before but there was an arena in the big city by us, and we'd drive by sometimes. They were always loud." Chan said.

Jeongin giggled. "He got invited by a friend, who bought him a ticket and everything." Jeongin's eyes suddenly got wide- "and guess who else is coming! Guess!"

Chan laughed as his childishness. "Um, I don't know, the president?"

"No!" He rolled his eyes. "I ended up at the same summer camp this year as one of your friends! Felix-hyung!"

Chan jolted in surprise. "You know Lixie?"

Jeongin nodded. "Yeah. Both our humans were counselors on the same team, so we got to talking. Somehow he brought you up, and I was all, 'no, can't be my Channie-hyung' but it turns out it was!"

Chan laughed at the pure ridiculousness of Jeongin's little reanactment, amused at his adorable animated behavior. It was quite a change from his sad demeanor from before. "Well I'm glad you met. Lixie is literally pure sunshine made into an imaginary."

"Yeah no kidding." Jeongin deadpanned sarcasticlly, looking at Chan through his eyelashes before perking back up. "Look," he pointed over to his human. "My humans are gonna eat some snacks and rest for a little cause the car they rented is like apparently hella late, wanna wander for a little and see if we can find Felix-hyung?"

Chan smiled. "Yeah. Let's go."

Jeongin bounced up and down on his toes. "Yay!"

"I still can't believe all of you ended up meeting each other. Like the world really is small." Chan said, taking in the cold air on his skin.

All eight boys had somehow met each other by fate before, and then another stroke of fate had brought all their humans together to the same giant concert. "So let me get this straight," Chan said, sitting up and facing his boys. They all sat on the roof of the huge hotel, looking over the city's lights and enjoying the cool air. "Minho, Seungmin and Felix all have humans that worked at the same diner at one point. Seungmin and Changbin's humans both attended and dormed together for a semester at the same all girls' school as kids. Hyunjin and Jisung's human and Minho's human both now attend the same college just a couple years apart. And then last but not least, Felix and Jeongin's humans met and worked af the same summer camp this last summer." Chan took a deep breath. "Is that right?"

Changbin laughed. "Yeah hyung, it is."

"And now we're all here together for the same concert. Feels kinda like fate," Jisung said. "Eight is fate, that's kinda like a lyric or something. It rhymes."

Hyunjin pushed Jisung over from where he sat resting back on his hands. "What's with you and always turning things into a poem-"

Jisung sat up affronted at the accusation. "A poem? That wasn't a poem that was a-"

"Han-ah. Breathe." Minho ordered from where he sat leaning up against the wall of the roof door. His tone was flat, but Chan could tell by the ease and softness of his face, he wasn't mad in the slightest. Probably the opposite really.

"The concert starts tomorrow night, wanna sit together in the rafters there?" Changbin asked. "It's always more interesting with other imaginaries."

"Yeah! yeah! I vote that!" Felix chimed in, overly excited and bouncing in his seat on the floor.

Chan laughed. "Of course I wouldn't wanna sit anywhere else," he answered. Chan paused a moment, "do you guys feel like we got oddly attached for having just met?"

"No, I mean imaginaries usually get close to other imaginaries fast. Maybe we're just an extra special case." Hyunjin answered.

"I feel oddly connected to you guys too," Jeongin spoke up. "I'll be sad to leave you guys in a couple days."

Chan nodded. "Yeah, I feel like that too."

"Well we might as well just enjoy the time we have now right?" Jisung said. "Anyone know any cool games?"

Seungmin cut in. "I saw my human play this game called two truths and a lie. I don't super remember the rules but who cares."

"Sure, why not? Seems explanatory." Changbin answered. "Who's first?"

Chan pointed. "Maknae first."

Jeongin spluttered. "How do you know I'm the youngest?"

"I don't know, we just do." Minho said, poking Jeongin on the shoulder. "It's clear as day you're the baby."

"I am not a baby!" Jeongin scoffed, jumping up to tackle Minho.

"I mean what else could you b-" Minho was cut off by a launching Jeongin to his chest.

Chan could only smile. His heart actually felt connected together for once.

“Group hug!” Felix yelled out, tackling the brawling Minho and Jeongin.

Chan felt his shirt get grabbed and laughed as he was dragged into a big hug.

Who knew all he was missing was seven random imaginaries?

The boys sat up high, taking in the sound of the seven men on stage singing. Their humans were scattered throughout the stadium, jumping and singing, happiness practically pulsating from their minds and hearts.

Usually, imaginaries had to keep their person in their sights at the least, but the men on stage were known far and wide for being wonderful to those who loved them, and cared for their fans like imaginaries did their people, so it was okay to let the reigns loose a little. 

"You know, in our next life, I wanna be like him," Jeongin said, pointing to the boy singing one of the highest notes Chan had ever heard, a pink mic sparkling in his hand.

"You want to sing?" Changbin asked, "Or perform?" He himself hadn't taken his eyes off the three men who seemed to be rapping at the speed of sound.

"Well yeah, that too, but like, imagine getting to be imaginaries without knowing one day we're gonna fade away." Jeongin elaborated, his tone taking a sadder tint, reminding Chan that he'd always struggled with fading.

"Imagine getting a life of our own. Being seen." Seungmin cut in, "I mean look, they haven't taken their eyes off the shorter one practically breaking the sound barrier over there." He gestured towards the blonde singing as he ran. "I'm not even entirely sure that's humanly possible, are we sure they aren't some sort of being like us?"

Chan laughed. "I don't know about that, but even they will have a "fade" of sorts. It seems like their people are loyal, but humans age. We don't. Some day they won't be able to dance and sing and perform like this anymore."

"But that'd be part of it, hyung," Hyunjin said, turning to look at Chan. "Think about it, now when we fade away, we're barely remembered by our person. And it's not a bad thing, we're made to hold all the hard things, and I would never trade that for the world, but-"

"But imagine getting to help so many more, and being remembered by some for it." Chan finished quietly.

Chan hadn't faded. Years ago, he'd lost not only his only purpose, but he'd hadn't faded with the relief and happiness most imaginaries wished for on his fade day. 

"I want to dance." Minho chimed in. "I mean they move on that stage and are just loved, captivating everyone. My person danced as a kid, and I always wished she'd continued so I could experience it too, but she hadn't."

"Channie-hyung," Felix started softly, "I thought imaginaries weren't supposed to have wants and wishes of our own? Are we broken?"

Chan thought to himself for a moment. He looked down, to the audience. 

Oh.

Oh.

He didn't need to turn his head to know the boys were looking at him, waiting for an answer. And suddenly, the answer was crystal clear. "Do you all know where your humans are?"

The boys looked at each other in confusion, "Yeah hyung, of course." Minho answered. 

"Look at them," Chan said. "What do you see in their minds?"

Chan didn't have a person anymore. He hadn't had one in a long time, but as he felt the tingling covering his skin, it finally made sense.

"She's at peace," Jisung whispered. "I knew her mind was healing over the last while, but now it's just-" he trailed off.

"Clear." Hyunjin finished.

"He's happy but it's not just this euphoria from the concert, it's almost like," Felix paused. "Like he's finally weaving happiness in his own mind."

Changbin looked from the stage to his person in the crowd, back to the giant screen. "They're content- I got that feeling off of them a couple of weeks ago too. I didn't know really what it was, it was so new to their mind."

They were dreaming of wants because now it was time to move on.

"My skin- it's tingling," Seungmin whispered. "I tuned into what she was feeling and suddenly, I felt like...I don't know how to describe it."

"It feels like I could feel the sound on my skin, it's like a pulse that keeps beating from my neck all over me." Jisung was staring down at his hands.

"Chan," Minho said quietly, but the rest of the boys heard him even with the loud music below them. "Is this what I think it is?"

"I think so, yeah." He muttered. 

The men below slowed their singing as the song ended before brighter lights came on to illuminate them. The one in the middle with a light blue mic's voice echoed through the room as he spoke, but Chan was only paying attention to the seven boys of his own. 

"What is it?" Hyunjin asked, panicked. "I don't get it, why do I feel like this?" 

Jisung grabbed Hyunjin's hands. "What?" He startled. "How are you shaking?"

Pure confusion and panic started to shake the boys. Chan reached over and grabbed Jeongin's wrist, who was too quiet in his sparking fear. "It's okay, relax. Focus in on how at ease and happy your humans are. Rest on that, steady yourself."

For a moment they all seemed to pause, gaining a distant looking in their eyes. The men on stage laughed, talking with their audience. 

"Do any of you know what is happening right now?" Chan asked gently.

Nobody answered him and just watched him with worry in their eyes. "Okay." Chan breathed deeply. His own stomach suddenly started to turn, panicking at how he was going to deliver the news.

"I think we're fading," Chan said as calmly as he could. "I think it's our time."

"We are?" Felix asked, his voice shaking as his hands did. 

Chan glanced over, looking to his side where Jeongin sat. He hadn't taken his eyes off the stage since Chan had asked if they had known where their humans were. "It's not a bad thing, not at all."

A light guitar melody flooded through the loudspeakers of the stadium, followed by the soft voice of one of the singers. "But we're fading, Channie. We're gonna be-"

"Yeah." Chan said quietly. "Yeah we're going to be forgotten by our people." He paused as he felt Jeongin take in a sharp breath. "But not totally."

"What do you mean?" Changbin asked, his own voice wary.

"Think about it. Our people will remember those times that were hard for them, and they may not remember their imaginary friend that helped them through it, as we simply take different forms as they grow, till one day we simply don't exist for them anymore. Because they can now carry themselves- with help from the humans around them." Chan looked around at the boys. "But they aren't going to forget how something helped them keep track of their thoughts, helped them hold the dark memories so they could sleep at night, helped them remember to breathe when panic got to much. They just don't know it was us."

"So they'll still remember a form of us." Seungmin interrupted. “Almost like in essence.”

"Yeah. Exactly." Chan smiled. "And think about it, maybe our next life can be as human singers. You never know."

"I wanna be a singer," Jeongin mumbled, quietly. "But I don't want to fade."

Chan rubbed his wrist. "It'll be okay because we're all going with you, Innie."

"Channie-hyung," Felix called. "Do you think our next life can be together too?"

"Well we can't choose that, Lixie." Minho answered. "But we can hope."

"Yeah." One of the singers below sang a high note that made Chan's ears sing beautifully. "We'll hope."

Silence covered them as they watched the fans sing and chant for the boys singing their song on stage, reaching a climax point. Chan felt the tingling get stronger, slowly becoming numbness in his legs.

"I can feel it getting stronger," Hyunjin mumbled. "Are we gonna go now?" His voice was small.

Chan looked solumn, quiet for a moment. "Yeah, Hyunjinnie, I think so. But this is probably the best time to go."

Jisung looked at Chan confused. "What do you mean?"

"Sometimes humans feel something in them go missing, or get lost when imaginaries leave." Minho answered. "But this way, Sungie," Minho held Jisung's other hand, the one not held by Hyunjin- "this way they won't even feel us leave."

"But won't they notice us being gone later?" Felix asked. "I don't want them to feel sad."

"Maybe," Chan said. "They might feel sad after tonight, in a little when their adrenaline wears down. But they won't even think it's because of us. So they'll get better quickly, without a second thought."

"Oh. That's good." Seungmin muttered. "My person is still working on her coping skills, I didn't want to set her back."

"You won't," Changbin said, lightly shaking their intertwined hands- Chan hadn't noticed them reach for each other. "We're leaving because they don't need our help with them anymore."

Chan's numbness was reaching his hips now, his hands starting to feel it too. "Are you all feeling it too? The numb feeling?"

Nods met his question. "I feel lighter," Seungmin said. Chan turned to look, and the sight that met him made him feel a little sad. 

Seungmin was starting to fade, going transparent slowly. "Oh, Minnie."

The music slowly quieted, as did the stadium as the song strung to an end.

"Is he fading?" Jisung asked, his voice full of anxiety.

"Yeah, I am, Sungie. But it doesn't hurt." Seungmin consoled, "I just can't feel my hands anymore." He said, looking down at where him and Changbin were connected.

"Hyung." Minho called, jolting Chan a little. Minho hadn't called him hyung often. "I think I'm going too."

Jisung spun his head from where he was staring at Seungmin to look at Minho. "No. I don't want you to go, hyung-" Jisung's voice choked, cutting himself off. "No, you can't."

"Jisung," Minho said softly, placing his slowly fading hand on Jisung's face. He was slowly gaining transparency, but his steady voice didn't show a thing. "It'll be okay, baby."

"But I don't want you to leave-"

"It'll be okay because I'm not going alone. We're all going to our next lives together."

Jisung choked again, his cheeks starting to sparkle-

Chan watched as Jisung's chubby cheeks started to sparkle even with the slow transparency they were becoming. As his gaze drifted to Hyunjin, he noticed they were the exact same, down to the sparkling cheeks.

Even Felix, who was normally radiant, was fading. A look simply not right for someone as glowing as him. 

"Come here. All of you." Chan said, "I want one more group hug." This is not our last group hug , he thought, I know it.

The boys all scooted close, bundling into each other despite the fade of the group starting to take away the feeling of each other's skin. Chan pulled Jeongin close to his chest. "It'll be alright. We won't feel anything besides love."

The music below them began to swell again, piano chords somehow counting the pulse of Chan's imaginary heart.

Chan breathed in tandem with his boys, his own heart and chest feeling the stabbing pain as he watched them slowly fade. "Together, we can last for eternity, I promise. Even through our next lives, we're intertwined, okay?"

Chan glanced down at his own arm, noticing the fading of himself. His guess was right.

He didn't fade all those years ago because he still had someone he was living for.

He had seven someones.

"I will be with you all, forever and always okay? I'll stay for all of the forevers."

The music below them swelled as the four vocalists began to sing together, intertwining their voices like the boys intertwined their souls.

"I love all of you," Seungmin whispered choked up and soft, his voice full of gentleness.

Chan glanced up, across their group hug to where Seungmin was burrowed between Minho and Changbin-

He blinked.

Was burrowed.

Chan's eyes felt oddly wet, a feeling completely new to him.

"I'm waiting for you all in our next life, okay?" Minho started, taking Chan's attention. "Especially you, Chan-ah. Can't do this hyung thing alone, okay?"

Chan nodded eyes slowly closing tight as his cheeks felt a little more than the sparkling, as the feeling of another touch faded from his arm.

Jisung cried, his own body pulled tight into Hyunjin. "Hyung," he called out almost silently.

Hyunjin glanced up, making eye contact with Chan. "We'll take care of each other. Promise." He smiled small, gripping Jisung tighter to him.

Chan blinked as the light from behind Hyunjin shined far too bright now. Chan couldn't speak. His own voice was completely blocked, his face wet, his hands shaking.

Imaginaries weren't meant to have human traits but maybe the universe's goddess decided to bless them with it for tonight.

"Hyung, thank you for helping me all those years ago," Felix said his voice weak. "I love you."

"Yeah, what he said." Changbin sassed, but the usual banter fell short as his cheeks sparkled. "I'll need my partner to watch my back wherever we end up, so don't take ages, got it?"

"O-okay," Chan mumbled.

And with the passing of another breath, another piano chord, there were two.

Chan pulled Jeongin to his chest, completely unable to feel him anymore. "I love you, Innie."

A meek voice spoke from where it was burrowed in his chest. "I'm scared." 

"Don't be." Chan comforted. "Look onto that stage. We can't be scared when such voices are giving us such comfort."

Jeongin turned his head just enough to see the seven boys on stage in purple hoodies singing to the pulse of the song, piano chords counting every time Chan noticed Jeongin and himself growing a little fainter. "Our people will be okay with them, right?"

Chan paused. He hadn't thought of that. "Yeah." Chan smiled. "They're gonna care for them."

"Thank you for not letting me do it alone."

Chan felt his chest shake at the words. "I'll never forget you, Innie."

"I'll never forget you either, hyung."

The vocals on stage all collided, singing loud and full, the fans below singing in tandem.

The rafters now sat a little colder, a little emptier, but stained with very real memories of eight imaginary friends.

Imaginaries were just that after all.

Imaginary.

Who knew there'd be such peace in fading?

"Hyung! Come on we're on in ten!"

Chan jolted out of his daze. He'd been in such a haze since they'd got here, something felt odd, as if it was something he’d done last week that he couldn’t quite place. Familiar but far enough away that it just didn’t exist in his mind’s reach. "I'm coming, Innie!"

Chan spun on his foot from where he'd been staring at the wall with their band's concert posters all over it, taking off in a run after Jeongin. He was all dressed, mic'd up, and ready.

He followed the white hallways full of staff and dancers, skidding to a stop in his dancer's boots to the center between his members. "Everyone ready?"

"Yeah, hyung, we're waiting on you." Changbin sassed from his spot a couple of feet over between Felix and Seungmin. 

"Going up in three!" A manager spoke from the side. 

Chan laughed and took a breath, listening to the cheers of the audience waiting for them. "Hey." He called.

The boys all quieted, looking at him. "Does this concert feel different to you? Like something is just, different? Off?" He’d felt something like this before, or it felt similar-

"Going up in one!"

"The stadium feels different, but I just assumed it was because this is our biggest audience yet," Seungmin answered.

"No, not just that- like something important happened here but I can't remember."

"Stray Kids! Going up in thirty seconds!" The manager called from the side again, and all the members readied into their positions.

"I'll tell you after." He whispered into the mics, knowing only they could hear each other. 

The stage piece began to ascend, the cheers getting progressively louder as it went. Chan suddenly could see over the edge, seeing thousands of lights beaming back at him.

The stage rocked into place, locking, and the members began their walk to their second places, the music big and powerful, beating with every step.

Chan let his head slowly raise, and his eyes were drawn to the top, the rafters in the ceiling. He was drawn to this place.

One glance towards his members, as the lights faded to prepare for their big music entrance, showed he wasn't the only one oddly drawn to the stadium, to the rafters above them.

"ITEM, in 3, 2, 1-" Chan's in-ears spoke.

Chan let it all fade away as he began performing, letting his body fall in tandem with his boys on the stage, counting beats, tracking members, and watching the STAYS chanting for them.

His soul had never felt quite as home as it did when he was a part of their little group, eight boys who performed their hearts out as often as they could. Something always felt like it had tied him to them, and maybe it was the music they made-

Or maybe it was related to the odd feeling it felt in this arena. Chan breathed in time with his counting, focusing on the presence of his members. And despite its loud, ear-busting sounds and the pain in his feet he knew that awaited him later-

Who knew there was such peace in performing?