Chapter Text
It was dawn. The sun was slowly crawling up from beyond the horizon while the majority of the Jin sect continued to sleep. That was except for the servants and one person that originally was not of the Jin sect, but had married into the sect, Lan Jingyi.
The Lan that was unlike a Lan was up and about in his room. He made his bed while his long hair spilled over his shoulder, servants should be the ones to make the bed, but the Lan grew up to do this task himself. With a pleased huff at his work, Lan Jingyi, then turned to the robes he had set out last night. Slipping on his robes of white embroidered with golden peonies, his belt followed and dangling from it was his jade token and the clarity bell that was his engagement gift from Jin Ling.
The Lan sat down at the vanity table next to his bed. Taking the comb with cloud carvings on the table he freed his hair from the tangles of sleep and pulled his hair up with a gold hairpin. His eyes looked back at him in the mirror, his grey eyes held sorrow similar to clouds close to letting go of its burden, eyes which were only seen within the confines of his room and only at the absence of his forehead ribbon. His eyes flick to his forehead ribbon on the desk folded, white and pristine waiting for him to wear like a mask to restrain his emotions—the truth of his heart.
The ribbon that was the symbol of a Lan's heart would remain with him, for the one in his heart could only ever see him as a friend. Surely, this was better than to lose his friend to awkwardness and distance, right? Better to restrain than to lose.
With the ribbon rightfully in its place around his head with its tailends fluttering behind him on leaving his room, he was prepared to take on the day. A figure of white against the canvas of a hallway painted with gold.
His morning would start first by meditating at the practice grounds. It was often barren at the early time and Lan Jingyi welcomed its silence. The Jin sect did not wake up early like the Lans, and he never expected to meet any member of the sect there nor open his eyes to find anyone in sight. He was often alone in the morning, alone in his meditation and alone during his sword work.
But that was half a month ago. Now, after his meditation, and as if his mind conjured him, Lan Jingyi's grey eyes would meet those brown open eyes staring back at him and belonging to none other than Jin Ling. Lan Jingyi would always blink a few times on finding Jin Ling in his sight at the early hour to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. How could he not believe it? Two closed in to three years into their marriage and Lan Jingyi was often by himself during his meditations and his sword practice.
"You always look surprised to see me here," Jin Ling said, walking over and holding his hand out to him.
Lan Jingyi always took his hand, their hands were rough from all the years of training they have as cultivators, but it was also warm. Maybe, the only warmth he would ever get from the man he was married to. He had no fantasies that the Jin sect leader would be in love with him. At the start, Lan Jingyi thought maybe eventually, but that hope was easily snuffed out, during their wedding night.
Red and gold held meanings of happiness and good fortune, but the truth for them was it held none for their marriage. Lan Jingyi sat on the bed with a veil covering his face when Jin Ling entered and made it clear that he only ever saw him as a friend and it would never change. They didn't consummate their marriage that night, Lan Jingyi took off the veil himself and they went to sleep with their backs to each other. For once in Lan Jingyi's life, he was glad for being forced to sleep early by his sect, for sleep easily took him under and away from the sadness of his unrequited love.
The forced marriage would never have happened in the first place if Lan Jingyi forced Jin Ling to go to sleep when his friend was too drunk and he didn't mistakenly drink Jin Ling’s cup filled with alcohol. The morning of that day, Lan Jingyi, felt a stinging pain on his neck and Jin Ling was sleeping peacefully on his chest. He lifted his hand to his neck and hissed at touching the pain he felt.
Jin Ling stirred from his sleep and pushed himself up to find Lan Jingyi staring back at him with wide fearful eyes. His brown eyes stared at him for a few seconds before shifting to his hand covering his neck. Jin Ling pried his hand off from his neck to find a bite mark. Afterwards, when they returned to their respective sects, Jin Ling immediately sent both an engagement and wedding proposal to the Lan sect for Lan Jingyi.
"I'm used to being the only soul here at this time," Lan Jingyi said, taking his hand from Jin Ling once he was on his feet and stepping away from him. There's a frown on Jin Ling's face then, he mostly would have a scowl, but these days he would find him frowning. For what reason, Jin Ling would always avoid telling him.
"You don't have to be," Jin Ling said, while he pulled out his sword.
"That's not exactly up to me," Lan Jingyi said as he followed suit and got into his stance.
This was new, for two weeks and counting, that Jin Ling would show up to spar with him. It was unexpected, but he welcomed it. It was a change of pace and yet he expected it to stop at any time. Long has he stopped expecting for his feelings to be returned or for anything from Jin Ling. Such a thought only made him sad.
Their morning spar ended and they would either go to their room for their respective breakfast or at a rare time to eat together at the private garden. In the hallway to their rooms, that was just across from each other, before Lan Jingyi could push the door to his room Jin Ling grabbed his wrist startling him to a stop.
"I asked the servants to serve our breakfast in my room," Jin Ling said, staring back at him.
For the past few days, Jin Ling has been staring at him a lot, as if he had something he wanted to say, but he held back or it was because there was something he needed his thoughts on. Jin Ling only ever invited him to eat with him in his room when they needed privacy.
"Okay," Lan Jingyi said, then his eyes fell on his wrist. "Can you let go? It's not like I'll run off."
With Jin Ling's position he could never run or leave. He was stuck married to him for good. The grip on his wrist loosened, but Jin Ling didn't let go. Instead he dragged Lan Jingyi along with him into his private quarters. Fairy barked on their entry while witnessing her master push Lan Jingyi down to his seat and Jin Ling sitting down next to him with their seats closer than they should be.
The spread of their breakfast was on the table. Lan Jingyi's breakfast was no different to his breakfast from when he was in the Lan sect. He discovered that he couldn't handle too many spices in his breakfast and found himself emptying his stomach with the shock to his stomach and taste buds. He didn't risk trying to change his breakfast and kept it the same while his lunch and dinner was similar to Jin Ling's.
"Do you want to try this?" Jin Ling said while they were eating. He was holding a dumpling with his chopsticks, "The fillings are vegetables. It should be fine for you during the morning."
"I don't think I've heard of that before," Lan Jingyi said.
"Try it," Jin Ling placed the dumpling into his bowl.
He did eat the dumpling and hoped that it wouldn't react badly to his stomach in the morning. They ate breakfast together and he would catch Jin Ling staring at him again. He shrugged it off, deciding that he'll let Jin Ling work out whatever it was, but their breakfast ended and Jin Ling had yet to tell him anything.
"Jin Ling?" Lan Jingyi was holding his cup of tea while the other was startled at the mention of his name. He found it amusing and couldn't help the rise of his eyebrow, "Didn't you need my thoughts on something?"
"Thoughts on what?" Jin Ling said his face was twisting into a scowl, more of a thinking kind, not a scowl that said he was frustrated.
"You only invite me to eat with you in your room when you need my input on something or to rant to someone," Lan Jingyi said.
"Oh," surprise overtook Jin Ling's face, before his eyes were downcast, like he was guilty of something. "I... I didn't notice I did that to you."
"We're friends, Jin Ling," Jin Ling flinched, it went unnoticed by Lan Jingyi with Fairy nuzzling her head to his leg and he would pet her. "And this is your room. I can't just go in and out. Did you not need anything from me?"
"Your company?" Jin Ling said and the answer had Lan Jingyi pause to look at Jin Ling. The other man was as bright as the vermillion mark between his eyebrows. How odd.
Lan Jingyi laughed. He thought it was another sect matter or one of the elders being stuck in their ways, "Well, if you didn't want to eat alone, then just say so.”
"It's not easy," Jin Ling muttered, the red on his cheeks was spreading to his ears, but Lan Jingyi heard him.
"How is inviting me to eat with you not easy?" It was a strange thought. They've had meals together a few times in the past. Not once was it difficult for Jin Ling to invite him, "You're the one who's difficult to invite to eat with. You're always saying you're busy or something would come up."
"That's—"
"I get it. As a sect leader you're often busy," Lan Jingyi waved it off and he got to his feet. Jin Ling wouldn't spare ‘that’ much time for him. They were just friends, "leaving time for anything else must be difficult. I should go and prepare the disciples going on their first night-hunt later."
"Isn't interrupting someone against your sect rules?" Jin Ling had his arms crossed and was… he pouting?
"Yes, that is in the Lan sect rules," Lan Jingyi said over his shoulder while making his way to the door. "but this isn't exactly the Cloud Recesses, is it, Jin Ling?"