Work Text:
"Jingyi," the name had slipped out of Jin Ling's mouth before he even realized it.
"What?"
Jin Ling snapped his head from his bowl of food and met with storm grey eyes. A set of eyes that only belonged to one Lan Jingyi. The same Lan was staring back with one eyebrow lifted, waiting for a response.
"You said his name, Jin Ling," said Ouyang Zizhen, on Jin Ling's left, dipping his dumpling into his saucer of soy sauce. They were currently at a restaurant in one of the towns near Lanling eating breakfast. The restaurant was sparse of customers being how early it was and only one other table was occupied near the entrance.
Jin Ling scowled at the idea that he did call Lan Jingyi. He was eating and he wouldn’t just say anything without a thought, so he scoffed and said, “Why would I just say his name?”
“That’s what we’d like to know, Young Mistress,” Lan Jingyi said across from him while Lan Sizhui’s eyes bounced between Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling.
Jin Ling shook his head. There was nothing to know for that matter and he wasn’t going to get pulled into responding to Lan Jingyi. The Lan was always trying to get a rise out of him. With Jin Ling’s refusal to talk, they silently agreed to let it pass.
It was like any other day. Outside of the Lanling’s Koi tower, it was bright and a fair few clouds drifted in the sky. Inside, the Jin sect leader was dealing with a battle against the stack of reports, letters, and elders with changing words, but with the same intentions of undermining him as the sect leader. There was nothing note-worthy about that—
“Pardon?”
A wrinkle formed between Jin Ling’s eyebrows at the abrupt question. He raised his chin and frowned at his assistant staring back in front of his desk with blinking eyes.
“You’re still here?” Jin Ling said. He already dismissed him.
“Forgive my impudence, Sect Leader Jin.” His assistant bowed his head and said, “but was there something I am to pass along to Lan Jingyi?”
“I, surely, did not mention his name,” Jin Ling said, scowling and the assistant lowered his head further in apology and with hasty steps left the study. Why would his assistant even think he wanted to pass along a message to him? He shook his head dropping the thought, and he returned his gaze to the report in his hands.
Inhaling a breath, Jin Ling pulled the bowstring back with the arrow nocked onto the bow. His eyes were homed onto the target a distance ahead of him. It wasn’t like having kites in the air, he could have ordered to have kites set up with it being windy, but he wanted to be alone and it was better than nothing. A couple of arrows were already embedded onto the target, and on releasing the bowstring, a name surfaced into his mind. That instant had him tense, and there was a slight shift to his arms sending the arrow outside of the target.
Lowering his arms, Jin Ling clicked his tongue, both for the misfired arrow and for the name that continues to rise without prompting. There was nothing that could provide him a reason or a connection to why Lan Jingyi’s name would haunt him. The Lan disciple was fine. Completely fine given he had shown up a few days ago at Lanling carrying a message from Hanguang-jun for him.
“Lan Jingyi,” Jin Ling grinded his teeth on saying his name. “Stop popping in my head.”
It was just Jin Ling at his private firing range. No one would hear his grumbles about Lan Jingyi except for Fairy, but no one could understand the barks of a dog and he was not going to entertain thoughts as to why his mind just kept repeating his name to him.
The streets of Yunmeng were bustling with activity. Children ran through the streets with shouts and laughter trailing after them. Merchants were calling at the potential customers bypassing them at the possibility of making a sale and one of those customers was clad in gold yellow robes with peony embroideries and a vermillion mark between his furrowed eyebrows.
“Is there something that interests you, Young Master?” The elder lady manning the stall said, and a sounding bark by his feet has Jin Ling glance for a moment at Fairy, then back at the wares on the stall in front of him.
The stall had a variety of accessories presented. There were hairpins adorned with eye-catching designs of flowers, hair combs with swirling engravings, and ribbons with patterned embroideries at the ends. Now, the wares were of good craftsmanship, but they were a common sight in the streets. Jin Ling, born as a member of the Jin clan, was used to great luxuries, but the simple designs on them had him pause and no sooner a sigh leaves him and his shoulders slump slightly.
“Why?” Jin Ling muttered and once more Fairy gave another bark at his feet.
“You seem troubled, Young Master?” The elder lady looked at him with probing eyes, but Jin Ling knew better than to divulge worries to a complete stranger and yet it didn't deter his mouth from opening. They were strangers and would only know that he was a cultivator based on his attire and the sword he carried.
“What do you think are the reasons someone pops up in your mind?” Jin Ling said.
“Well, isn’t that because you’re in love with them?” The elder lady said with her eyes sparkling in amusement, and she chuckled behind her hand. “The simplest of things can remind you of them.”
Jin Ling kept his face blank, so as not to show his dismay at the answer to his question. He does make a purchase of a simple hairpin crafted almost similar to a twig, but with a few berries at its tips. He slipped it into his sleeve and walked away.
Of course, he didn’t believe what the elder lady said. Him in love with Lan Jingyi? Then, shouldn’t his heart skip a beat when he sees him when meeting up for night-hunts or by chance catching up during a discussion conference? Though the swirling cloud design on one of the combs did remind him of the Cloud Recesses, that was still far off from recalling Lan Jingyi. Shaking his head he continued to wander around Yunmeng before heading to Lotus Pier.
A few things though would remind him of Lan Jingyi. Like the chicken another table ordered, the Lan loved eating chicken. There was also the scent of sandalwood and rosemary while he was passing by a stall selling scented pouches. The unlit lanterns stringed above him in the street reminded him more of the times he was with his friends during a festival once here in Yunmeng. The answer from the elder lady was not the one he was looking for.
The sun was still in the sky, but by its position it would be best to head to Lotus Pier. The streets would only grow crowded the longer he stayed. Fairy walked in step with him while they made their way to Lotus Pier via a more scenic route than flying.
Above head, Jin Ling could spy a few cultivators making their way to Lotus Pier. The distance from the ground and the sky made it difficult to tell which sect it was, but at the rustles behind the line of trees and the snap of a twig had Jin Ling pause while he held the hilt of Suihua. A few seconds later stepping out from the tree line was Wen Ning with his tattered robes and unruly hair with two or three small twigs in it, and a petal.
“Sect Leader Jin,” Wen Ning nodded, the ends of his lips twitching.
“If you’re here then…”
“Yes, they already arrived at Lotus Pier,” Wen Ning said without waiting for Jin Ling to finish his question. Wen Ning, for all Jin Ling knew, his affiliation was with the Lan sect given Wei Wuxian was married to Lan Wangji, and the man seemed to dote on Lan Sizhui. There was a connection there, but that was hardly his business to know.
Jin Ling continued to make his way to Lotus Pier with his spirit dog and now, with a fierce corpse in tow. His uncle would rather not have Wen Ning within close range, but the guy—corpse, whichever, joined him without a word.
“Ah, Sect Leader Jin, was there something bothering you with regards to Jingyi?” Wen Ning said. This has Jin Ling pause to glare down at the ground and Wen Ning does the same with his eyes focused on him.
“Did I say his name again?” Jin Ling said.
“Yes.”
Frustrated and truly, it was maddening, a guttural shout left his throat. The nearby birds hidden in the trees flew away from the vicinity, while Fairy and Wen Ning stood there with their eyes on him. It was a long shout and once all the air in his lungs was gone, he took a huge breath in.
“I’m going insane,” Jin Ling combed his fingers through his hair. He didn’t care if his fingers got tangled or messed up his appearance. This.. the Lan’s name popping to his mind was becoming unbearable.
“Is there a way for me to help?” Wen Ning said.
Jin Ling might as well tell Wen Ning, what did he have to lose anyway? The guy wouldn’t tell anyone about his situation, well, not unless it would clear up a misunderstanding.
“That can be frustrating,” Wen Ning said, while they were seated on a log on the path to Lotus Pier. “It’s not like you’ve had a falling out either. I do not believe you harbor feelings for him either at the moment.”
“At the moment?” Jin Ling turned to Wen Ning slack jawed.
“Right now there is none, but the future holds possibilities we do not know of.” Wen Ning said, and Jin Ling wanted to outright refute the idea, but what he said was true, look at Wei Wuxian returning. “If it is not due to feelings, then there's something about Jingyi that may represent something for you to realize.”
“I’m just back to asking ‘why’,” Jin Ling said.
“I’m sure an answer will eventually show up. One just has to calm down to see it.”
Wen Ning's words rang in Jin Ling's mind even after separating ways and settling down in his room for the discussion conference that year. Unlike the elder lady in the city, Wen Ning gave him an answer that made sense, and wasn't simply due to affection for someone. Though, he couldn't figure out the symbol that he associated with Lan Jingyi. Lan Jingyi, the unlan-like Lan to walk through the Cloud Recesses was, if he thought about it, would be if Wei Wuxian had been a Lan. Always breaking rules, giving the elders a headache, but he knew what he valued despite being a rule-breaker.
"Is this even right?" Jin Ling was on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling. Fairy was by the foot of the bed sleeping. He had been entertaining the thought that there was a relation to Wei Wuxian in all of this. He did think that Lan Jingyi might have some unknown relation to Wei Wuxian, "I don't know."
Continuing to ponder on it only made him confused, frustrated and bordering on insanity. Might as well give up and let his situation be. It wasn't like it affected him that greatly. It was minor.
It was at the end of the discussion conference, did Jin Ling manage to have some time for his friends and Uncle's. They were having dinner, but in the privacy of a room rather than in the Jiang Sect's banquet hall. Unfortunately, Ouyang Zizhen was not there, he didn't join his father at the conference.
"The lotus soup is just like as I remember it," Wei Wuxian said smiling fondly, but with a slight sadness in his eyes, after taking a sip from his bowl.
Jiang Cheng scoffed from his spot between Wei Wuxian and Jin Ling, "As if you'd actually remember the taste correctly, you're not in 'your' body."
"Aiya, Jiang Cheng, I know you did your best to recreate Shijie's soup, and you did remarkably!" Wei Wuxian teased while nudging at the Jiang Sect Leader.
Jiang Cheng gave a responding nudge, and he continued eating, but not without placing a dumpling on Jin Ling's bowl of rice. A flush came to his cheeks when he noticed and his eyes swept around the table, hoping no one actually saw, but his eyes met grey and a grin to match those amused eyes.
"Shut up, Lan Jingyi," Jin Ling spat out before he even thought of it.
"I haven't said a word, Jin Rulan," Lan Jingyi said as he drank his bowl of lotus rib soup. The Lan acted aloof, but he knew he was having fun.
Jin Ling grunted, deciding not to be pulled into another of the Lan's teasing. Lan Jingyi and Wei Wuxian had the similarity of teasing others.
"Are we really similar?" Wei Wuxian said and he had his attention on Jin Ling.
Lan Wangji hummed and nodded. The only time he does make any input.
"Similar," Jiang Cheng's gaze fell on Lan Jingyi, the Lan visibly froze for a moment, and then he turned back to Wei Wuxian. "Probably with how you two seem to carry a chaotic energy with you."
Wei Wuxian hummed, chewing at the tips of his chopsticks, and he also looked at Lan Jingyi with bright eyes and a grin, "Still, Lan Jingyi is still himself and that's even if he is bound by his sect rules."
Lan Jingyi had his head lowered while eating and with their seniors' attention on him. Jin Ling found it amusing that the other was silent and suddenly shy with the attention on him, the redness of his ears told them he was embarrassed.
Laughter bubbled out of Jin Ling and he said, "Why the sudden silence, Jingyi?"
Lan Jingyi lifted an eyebrow in response despite the reddish state of his ears. The Lan wasn't backing down and the same can be said about Jin Ling.
"Lan Jingyi," Lan Wangji said.
"Jin Ling," Jiang Cheng said.
"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian said, bringing everyone's attention to him. He grinned back, "Oh, weren't we playing a game just now?"
"Trust you to think that," Jiang Cheng snorted and everyone turned back to their respective food with an occasional comment from Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng or Jin Ling would respond to him.
Jin Ling was with Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui then. They were admiring the view of the Lotus lake at the deck found at the back of the Jiang sect.
"Hey, how about a night-hunt next month?" Lan Jingyi said, breaking the comfortable silence they fell in. There was a breeze and the nearby lotus pods would sway along with it.
"We'll see," Jin Ling said, slipping his hands into his sleeves and his hands grazing on the pin he bought earlier and recalling Wen Ning’s words. "I have a question for both of you.
"Ask away, Jin Ling," Lan Sizhui said from Lan Jingyi's other side.
"Doesn't it suffocate you, your Sect rules?" Jin Ling said. He had thought of it earlier when Wei Wuxian spoke about the Cloud Recesses sect rules.
"No, not really. Our sect rules exist and for a good reason," Lan Sizhui said. "I can't say the same for Jingyi."
"You know, just because I break our sect rules often doesn't mean that it's suffocating for me." Lan Jingyi huffed, leaning closer to the banister of the deck and his eyes were on the half-moon above. "The rules are there to guide us telling us the boundaries we can uphold or not."
"Jingyi?" There was a sharp intake of breath from Lan Sizhui and Jin Ling gaped at the Lan standing between them.
"What?" Lan Jingyi laughed, the light of the moon shone in his eyes, "The rules I broke haven't hurt anyone and they weren't grave."
"Jingyi," Lan Sizhui had his hand on his face, but there was a slight upturn of his lips.
"Wei Wuxian must be proud of you," Jin Ling snorted, leaning on the banister of the deck while he flicked his eyes to his two friends. He was lucky to meet them after years of being alone and with them he was free to be just Jin Ling. Not all the time like Lan Jingyi, but it was close enough.
Over time, Lan Jingyi's name didn't pop up in his mind anymore, but in his name's place the Lan's laughter haunted him and along with it the rare time the Lan smiled softly at him. It was with shocking epiphany that when Jin Ling would face Lan Jingyi, his heart jumped and tried to escape his chest recalling such a gentle look on the otherwise mischievous Lan.
It didn't help either that Lan Jingyi on some occasions would say the right things, and would lift his mood. Lan Jingyi, from a friend, became a warmth in his heart. One, he thought he was doing so well to hide.
"All right, Young Mistress," Lan Jingyi slammed his hand next to Jin Ling's head after cornering him in the back of the cave. Water dripped from their hair and clothes, they were drenched from the rain pouring outside. The abrupt fall of rain during their night-hunt forced the four of them to seek shelter in a cave. “Why are you avoiding me?”
"Back off, Jingyi," Jin Ling said, he could feel the heat in his cheeks and ears, he was glad it was dark or the Lan would have noticed.
"I will, when you tell me what I did wrong. You've been avoiding me," Lan Jingyi said, his breath blowing against Jin Ling's lips.
"Ah, Sizhui, Zizhen, a little help here?" Jin Ling called to their two friends near the front of the cave. He saw at the abrupt flash of lightning they turned their eyes to them.
"Sorry, Jin Ling, but… you have been avoiding Jingyi," Ouyang Zizhen said loud enough for them to hear him over the rain.
"Please talk, you two," Lan Sizhui said, making it clear that even he wasn't going to do anything. "Communication is important."
"You heard him, Jin Ling," Lan Jingyi said.
"You didn't do anything," Jin Ling said, glancing away to the side and crossing his arms.
"If that was true, you wouldn't be avoiding me," Lan Jingyi said, pulling back from him and giving him some space.
"Have you thought it's not you, Lan Jingyi? The world doesn't revolve around you."
"It must be related to me," Lan Jingyi said and Jin Ling flinched at that just as a fire came alive between Lan Sizhui and Ouyang Zizhen. "I'm sorry if I did anything, but you should at least tell me. I don't like having misunderstandings."
"You'd think of me differently, if I did tell you." Jin Ling mumbled peeking up at the Lan. Lan Jingyi was a bit taller than he was. Just a bit.
"Try me," Lan Jingyi said.
"I… I might be a cut-sleeve," Jin Ling said, and his cheeks were burning at that moment.
"You know I wouldn't judge you for that, Jin Ling," Lan Jingyi frowned back at him.
"I know, it's just that… I…" Jin Ling swallowed and he shut his eyes as he said, "I'm a cut-sleeve for you."
The rain was still pouring outside the cave and the air was getting colder. Jin Ling wrapped his arms around himself, not like he could feel the cold with his gold core, and he pried an eye open to peer up at Lan Jingyi.
In front of him the Lan had his hand up and partly covered his mouth. Lan Jingyi was facing away from the fire, but in the shadow Jin Ling could see a blush covering the Lan's cheeks. The sight made Jin Ling feel it got warmer and he pulled at the collar of his robes.
"Jin Ling," a calloused palm was on his cheek and his eyes widened at Lan Jingyi's closeness. His warm breath was falling on his lips, "I've been a little in love with you for a while now."
A soft squeak left Jin Ling with the Lan Jingyi's confession and at the softness pressing on his lips. Warmth filled Jin Ling's chest and he pressed back against the Lan's lips, but Lan Jingyi pulled away.
Jin Ling scowled at Lan Jingyi to which the other laughed. His warm laugh and his soft gaze was on him, "We always have next time, A-Ling."
"There better be," Jin Ling gave him a good punch to his arm and went over to join their friends by the fire. Lan Jingyi was right behind him and he sat down next to him, closer than was their usual, but with the knowing smiles from Lan Sizhui and Ouyang Zizhen, it didn't matter.
Lan Jingyi for some reason kept popping up in his head that it infuriated him until the Lan's name stopped buzzing in his head. He still didn’t have an inkling on the reason for it, and he was fine either way. Now, though, when Jin Ling tried stealing a peek, and Lan Jingyi was there to meet his gaze with a fond smile. Maybe, the elder lady was right, but the timing of the advice was just a little ahead of it’s time.