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"What the fuck!? You can't stick us with babysitting! Not today!"
L looks me dead in the eye with an unreadable expression. I can't tell if it makes me nervous or angry enough to try and punch it off his face. "Why? What do you and Matt have planned for today? What mess are you going to make that I'm going to have to clean up?"
I'm starting to choose the latter.
"We just planned a day to hang out. We don't get much time together, y'know?"
"That would be because someone dies when you two get time together."
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"What? Babysitting? Today?" Matt isn't as mad as I had thought he'd be. He's more confused than anything. That's fine. I have enough anger for both of us.
"L's just being a bitch. Anyone else could watch Near, but he's trying to tick me off. The kid's eight, for fuck's sake, he can stay home alone!"
"Maybe we'll just have to take him with us. I mean, we're not canceling, right?"
"Take him with us!? I'd rather slam my dick in a car door."
"Mello?"
I whip around to be meet eyes with my white-haired baby brother. "Get lost."
He grips his teddy bear a little tighter. "L says you and Matt are watching me today."
"Well, L can go fu-" I'm cut off by a hand clapping over my mouth.
"Language! He's only eight," Matt scolds.
He quickly removes his hand when I bite down on the skin restricting my voice.
"He's gonna hear them sooner or later," I snap, "and anyway, he's not coming."
"Coming where?" That stupid look. As if he's excited to be going somewhere with us. It almost makes me feel bad. Almost. Why would L do this to me?
"Nowhere, you're staying home."
"Mello-" Matt starts.
"Don't you dare."
"I think we should take him with us."
A beautifully animated scene of myself pushing Matt down a tall flight of stairs enters my mind.
"No, we're not-"
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"Get in the car, Nate; we don't have all day."
I push the gas angrily and we screech into motion. Near's still halfway in the doorway and quickly scrambles into the car to make it in time.
I only stay about 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. I don't wanna attract the cops before the heist even starts.
"Where are we going?" That small, monotone voice, the same as L's. It's as if they're mocking me.
"Shut it. I'm already pissed about the wasted time I spent trying to get your fucking car seat in the back. You're on thin ice."
Matt turns to look at Near. "Ignore him. He's being a whiny, little crybaby. He does that when he doesn't get his way."
I make a noise that sounds a bit like a growl and a bit like a scoff. Even I'm not sure which it is, but either way, it voices enough annoyance.
"We're going to the bank," Matt explains, ignoring me.
"Oh. You two need to take out money?"
"You... could say that."
"We're gonna rob it," I say, bluntly. No use in sugarcoating it if we're taking the brat with us anyway.
"Oh," he repeats. "Why?"
"Because we're bored and want to see if we can get away with it." I shrug. "But don't even think about telling L or Watari or you'll be going to bed tonight with one leg."
He's silent for a while before asking quietly, "What can I do?"
"Eh, we've got an extra gun in the back. Just-"
"No, Mello!" I feel a slap on my arm from the passenger seat. Not hard enough to actually hurt, but hard enough where I can tell Matt is trying to hit some sense into me.
I shove his hand away to avoid a second assualt. "What? What did I do this time?"
"We cannot give him a real gun!"
"What? Well, then what the fuck are we supposed to give him?"
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"Will this be it?"
"Yes," I mumble through clenched teeth.
"That'll be ¥500."
I gingerly hand the woman the money she asks for and snatch the water gun out of her hands. We're waking out the door when I say, "I can't believe Matt talked me into spending money on you."
Matt rolls his eyes. "It's only ¥500, calm down. And it'll be worth it. Near's first crime! And with a squirt gun!" I'm glad we're in the car by the time Matt lets this comment slip. He's always been bad at keeping secrets, but I would have beat the shit out of him if he got us caught with a stupid remark like that. "I'll make sure to take pictures. These are real memories being made!"
"You'll make sure to stay on track and not get caught by the police is what I think you mean."
"Oh, yeah, right."
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"Put your hands up! This is a robbery!"
Those simple words send the whole building into a panic. It's quite funny to watch, actually. The bankers duck behind the counter and the customers run in different directions, screaming with flailing arms.
"Just put the money in the bag and nobody gets hurt." It's true. I don't like to cause a scene bigger than it needs to be, and I really don't like to get my hands dirty, so it's much easier to just take the money and run.
But, of course, it's never easy.
I sigh as a blond woman in a blue shirt and black jeans tries to make a break for the exit. I look at Matt, exasperated, and he nods while I cover my ears. A small yelp escapes the woman's lips, but it's drowned out by the ringing of the gunshot. She falls forward and her head collides with the solid porcelain stoneware floor. Through the choas, I swear I can hear an adauble crack. Her body lies right before the doorway. So close, yet so far. I notice the bullet wound in her back, slowly soaking her blue shirt red, but I'm also aware of another blood stain crawling onto the floor and coming from her head. That collision must've been more brutal than I had originally thought.
Another woman, brunette this time and with glasses, pulls out her phone. I aim my own gun, and she joins the other woman as carnage amongst the ground before the number can be dialed.
"Great," I mumble.
Now we're gonna have to kill everyone here so there are no witnesses, take the money ourselves, and then do something about the bodies. Man, I really hate getting my hands dirty.
And I just got a manicure.
My thoughts about my nails are cut off when I hear Matt's voice from my right. "Near, get behind me."
Oh, right. I forgot that we had the kid with us.
I glance over to see how Near's doing. I'm expecting to see him in tears on the ground and Matt insisting we need to console him, but I'm instead pleasantly surprised. He's standing behind Matt, looking unbothered by everything that's happening as a stream of water comes out of the squirt gun and lands on the blood-soaked floor next to him.
Good, at least we won't have to worry about him getting in the way.
Another gunshot fires through the air, followed by three more. I watch as two more people hit the floor. One lands on his back next to me, eyes still open, but cloudy and lifeless. This person was the unlucky one of getting shot twice as I can see that Matt missed the first time. The first bullet wound is on his shoulder, red, gory, and incredibly visible thanks to his tank top. The skin around the hole is tearing and giving me a wonderful view of the blood and butchery that lies beneath it. The other bullet wound isn't nearly as disgusting, as it hit his heart and, luckily, is mostly covered by his shirt. I'm thoroughly disturbed by this particular body, so I stick my black boot under his waist and kick him over, face down, before joining Matt in the massacre that's going down.
Within mear minutes, every person in the building, besides myself and the two at my side, is down on the floor, contributing to the lovely bright red mess that I'm going to have to clean up.
How thoughtful.
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"You grab her ankle and I'll grab her by the wrist. No, no, both ankles, dumbass!"
Matt and I hurl the last body into the dumpster out back. The smell of trash back here seems like it's enough to reach the corners of all of Japan; I just hope it's enough to hide the smells of the decaying bodies. We head back in to the bank, where Near is already on hands and knees trying to get rid of the blood stains... and smell.
Matt and I join him and we've made a decent dent amongst the stains when Matt gasps. "The security cameras!"
"Oh for crying out- You're a hacker, aren't you? Fucking fix it."
"Fix it? I can't just fix it."
"Well, do something!"
"Um..." I turn. Near's standing again, fidgeting with his fingers as he speaks. "I could help."
I'm having a really hard time being mad at him right now. Maybe he deserved the stupid squirt gun.
Matt seems ecstatic. "Yeah? C'mon, kid, we'll figure this out! You and I!"
I try to listen to their conversation at first, but Matt and Near throw words around that I've never even heard before, let alone know the meaning of. They lose my interest quickly as I continue scrubbing the blood, and occasionally some bits of skin and muscle, which make the already-unpleasant task even worse.
When I stand to look over my good work, it's at the same moment I hear Matt successfully shout, "Done!"
I guess today could have gone worse. Even if this means L was right this morning...
...which I really don't want to think about.
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We open the door of the orphanage after buying Near a new white outfit, myself new shoes, Matt new pants, and discarding the bloody ones.
I'm surprised to see L, sitting at a desk with his knees up by his chest.
The sitting habit isn't what surprises me, that I've gotten used to. It's the fact that L is siting here after forcing Matt and I to babysit. I thought he had somewhere important to be, but...
Without looking away from his computer, he asks, "So, Near, did you have fun with Mello and Matt?"
"Were... Were you here the whole time!?"