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When you’re lying on your bed trying to go to sleep at four o’clock in the morning, the very last thing you expect to see is a giant black hole to materialize in front of your face, but hey, who doesn’t love a good surprise?
Me. I don’t. And that’s why I screamed bloody murder. I flailed and kicked and screamed at the abyssal intruder as I backed myself into my bed frame. Sure, the thought of sleep deprivation induced hallucinations crossed my mind, but its not really something I wanted to dwell on considering the darkness was beginning to kick back.
“Ow! Ow! Stop it! Please stop! I’m- PLEASE!” Yelled a voice from not far inside the void. Suddenly, a bright, almost glowing, white hand extended from the hole and grabbed my ankle to stop the incessant kicking as the other grasped the edge of the portal, undoubtedly, to my dismay, in order to hoist the rest of its body out.
I stopped my kicking for a moment to stare at the hole in pure terror as I imagined what horrors beyond my comprehension were about to pop out of it. I felt my heart pound as the blood drained from my face as the creature began to emerge.
Thankfully, I was extremely underwhelmed.
A strangely friendly looking face came into view from amidst the darkness, mostly the same white shade as its hands, but with a huge black spot, reminiscent of the huge one he had decided to place in my room, right in the center. Somehow, it possessed a vague air of annoyance, likely because I just kicked the shit out of it.
“Sorry to intrude, but can I borrow five bucks?” It asked. The spot on its head seemed to transform, mimicking a raised eyebrow.
I ignored the question. “Who- what ARE you??” I was completely awake now. I stared at this being in mixed fear and awe.
“Oh- yeah sorry. Uh… I’m Spot. Because I’m a guy with spots.” He said, gesturing towards his face as if it wasn’t already obvious. As he did, i could see several other spots, varying in size, that were peppered all over his body, or at least just his arms.
I continued to stare at him in disbelief as he looked back at me, expecting a response to his request. Suddenly, we both became aware of the rather uncomfortably close distance between us. He immediately tensed.
“Oh god, sorry, I should. Um. This is rather intimate.” He stammered with a distressed expression plastered on his “face” as he began attempting to get out of his portal thingy without making either of us uncomfortable, which he failed at. Dreadfully.
“Haha, t-take me out to dinner first right?” He said awkwardly, mere moments before disaster. Immediately after his cute little quip he lost his balance and plummeted out of the hole, landing directly on top of me with a sickening thud. I attempted to scream some more, but he was surprisingly heavy and there’s no screaming without breathing, so I simply exhaled whatever air I was holding in, rather hoarsely at that.
He yelped, and just as fast as he had tumbled on top of me, he had tumbled off of me, right onto my hard bedroom floor. He frantically began apologizing as he shakily brought himself to his feet. The flustered look on his… spot(?) was priceless. He flailed his hands around, stammering his incoherent “Oh god I am SO sorry,”s over and over again.
I continued to stare at him in utter disbelief, refusing to acknowledge what was unfolding in front of my eyes. I sat up in my bed as he got more and more panicky with his apologies. “So,” I said, albeit a little shell-shocked. “what was it you wanted?”
He stopped mid sentence, seemingly a little shocked that I had “forgiven” him so quickly. “Oh. Yeah. I was just wondering if you could lend me like… five bucks?”
“Why have you chosen me for this… endeavor?” I responded. I didn’t know whether to feel honored or frightened.
“Umm… I dont really have much control over where my holes choose to-“ he began, but I quickly raised my hand to stop him.
“I dont even want to hear you finish that sentence because it already sounded bad enough.” I said through a yawn. Now I was remembering just how tired I was. By the look on his face, I was certain he would be blushing if he could. I started giggling, the kind of giggle you let loose when you haven’t slept in twenty-four hours.
“Why do you need me to lend you five bucks? I mean, you look like a neat little street performing act, why not pick up that line of work?” I said, through absolutely vicious chuckles.
He laughed nervously. “Trust me, I’ve tried. Turns out people dont want to give money to you if they can’t even figure out what you are.” He looked at the floor and sighed. “I just. I haven’t really ‘eaten’, if you can even call it that, in a hot minute.”
My eyes narrowed. The laughter had finally died down. “You EAT?” I exclaimed. The idea was simply outlandish to me.
“Yeah, I mean, I still feel hunger and all that jazz. I just kinda… put the food in my-“ he stopped, midway through a gesture towards his face-hole. “Judging by the look on your face I don’t think you want me to-“
“Finish the sentence. Yeah.” I said, disgusted yet, honestly intrigued. “Well why didn’t you just say so? I can fix something up for you if you want.” I said, beginning to get out of bed. Clearly, the lack of sleep was causing me to make very strange and poor decisions.
“Wh-what?? Are you serious??” He stuttered, clearly in disbelief that the person who’s house he just broke into was offering to cook him a meal.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like I have anything better to do. Besides sleeping obviously.” I stretched my arms high above my head and my back made a concerningly loud crack that made my houseguest cringe. “You like bagels?”
“NO.” He yelled, the spot on his face shrinking tenfold. I stared at him, wide-eyed. Frankly, I wasn’t even bothered by his intense reaction, just baffled that there’s people who don’t like bagels. What a weirdo. He suddenly grasped how insane he sounded and made a poor attempt to backtrack. “No, thank you.”
“Okay then.” I replied after a moment. “I’ll just make toast.”
And that I did. As I placed a few slices on a plate and gathered my small yet inclusive array of spreads, I took a moment to look back at my speckled trespasser. He sat patiently at my small dining table, tapping his fingers on the wood-top and staring at the floor. Judging by the determination with which he was looking at it, I could tell he had been staring at the back of my head just moments before. I stifled a chuckle. He was kind of… cute? Smiling, I picked up the plate and headed his way.
“Breakfast, or, dinner? Whatever it is, it’s served.” I said as I set the platter down in front of him and took a seat next to him.
“Oh wow!” He exclaimed. “You really went all out!!”
I looked at him with a bewildered expression. “I mean, I wouldn’t really say that. It’s just a couple pieces of cooked bread.”
He wasn’t listening. He had already begun smearing strawberry jam on a slice whilst completely slathering another in nutella. I stared at him in awe as he held his hazelnut-covered creation up to his face hole and tossed the whole thing in.
“Woah.” I said quietly as I gazed into the swirling black spot that apparently functioned as his mouth. He took no notice of this and proceeded to throw the other slice right in, guzzling down toast left and right as if he hadn’t eaten in days. Actually, that was probably true.
Without thinking, I slowly lifted my hand to his “mouth” and poked it gently. He froze immediately. His spot on the other hand, did not. It rippled as I ran my fingers across it and stuck, but only slightly, as I pulled away. It was similar to water, but more warm and inviting. He slowly turned his head to me, his expression that of someone who is shocked but not angry.
We stayed like that for far too long. I was entirely entranced by the spectacularly unique beauty that he possessed, yet he seemed astonished someone was able to see the beauty in it.
After a long period of silence, he finally spoke.
“Do you… like them? My… my spots?”
“Do I like them!?” I said in disbelief. “They’re beautiful!”
He looked extremely flustered. “Well, thank you, I-I cant say I’ve heard that before!” He said whilst laughing nervously.
I felt my eyes refocus and I slowly withdrew my hand as I snapped out of my trance. I looked where I assumed his eyes would be and asked a question that had been on my mind the whole time. “Do you need a place to sleep?”
“Oh please, you’ve done far too much already I can’t-“
“Do you?”
“I. Um.” He wavered, the spot on his face darting around as if to mimic the pupils of someone who doesn’t want to tell the truth. Finally, he answered, guiltily. “I haven’t had a place to sleep in a long time.”
My brows softened and I smiled warmly. “My couch is wide open.”
And though he insisted he couldn’t, I could tell he was relieved. He dozed off essentially the moment he sat down, and by the time I had haphazardly thrown a blanket over him, he was practically hibernating. I grinned as I stared at his spot, which now simply resembled a smudge as it narrowed in imitation of a closed eye.
My own eyes already closing, I stumbled to my room and collapsed onto my bed, giving no more than a dismissive glance to the pile of toast that still sat on the kitchen table.
And even though I had a random extraterrestrial-looking man sleeping on my couch who had broken into my house just half an hour earlier, I slept like a rock and dreamed better than I had in months, even though they were a little spotty.