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chuuya, despite his somewhat minuscule anger management skills, rarely ever lost his cool to the point of wanting to cry.
the ginger wraps the scarf around his neck just a little tighter, december’s unrelenting winter biting at his skin. his phone, on the verge of dying, buzzes with one notification after another, yet chuuya can’t get himself to focus on anything else now.
it’s a little past ten in the evening, and he’s been running around yokohama like a maniac. frustration evident in the way chuuya continuously bites his lips out of stress, he decides to just go home and try looking again by dawn.
his walk home is uneventful, chuuya arrives back at his place within fifteen minutes. when he steps in, chuuya makes sure to avoid making any noise. he takes off his coat and hat, followed by his gloves and shoes, and places the pair by the rack.
he walks into the kitchen, and finds a familiar figure on the floor cutting up star shaped papers while a festive songs plays from the radio next to him.
“dazai,” chuuya calls out as a greeting. dazai looks up, smiles at his boyfriend, and mutes the volume of the radio.
“chibi is finally home, you left me all alone to make the christmas decorations,” the brunette gestures at his craftsmanship. “i don’t know how you made the snowflakes, so i had to settle with stars.. i can’t guarantee they’re of even length, but i plan on putting glitters like you did on the snowflakes—“
dazai finally takes a full look at chuuya, who sits on the sofa chair in front of him with a distant look in his eyes paired with slightly furrowed eyebrows.
“chuuya?”
the other looks at him. “hm?”
“..something’s wrong.”
dazai’s worries are confirmed when chuuya merely nods. dazai puts down his scissors and papers, before approaching his partner and taking hold of his hands.
dazai waits for him to talk, and it doesn’t take much for chuuya to voice the problem.
(not anymore at least. it’s years of effort.)
“i’m a horrible owner, dazai,” chuuya mutters with a rough throat.
“no, you’re not. what makes you say that?” dazai replies.
“miki escaped her leash when we were out,” chuuya says. “i was— i wanted to buy you your favourite christmas cookies before you got home, and so i- i brought miki with me but then i guess she fucking saw something- a squirrel? mouse? and she tried running somewhere else but i wouldn’t let her, and then the next thing i know she got off her leash.”
chuuya holds back the urge to sob. he can’t help but feel an ounce of shame for being overwhelmingly stressed about a dog, but it’s not
just his, it’s dazai’s dog too, and that dog meant so much to them.
“i tried running after her but i.. i lost her in the crowd, and i couldn’t even get you your cookies,” chuuya exhales shakily, fingers trembling.
dazai is silent as he turns, grabs his phone from the floor and opens up his image gallery.
“it’s a quarter to eleven in the evening, not many people won’t be out anymore,” dazai states. “i’ll contact ango for help, odasaku is great at these kinds of things, he can help. i- i have photos of miki in case we need to make missing posters—“
“dazai, what are you doing?” chuuya asks, trying to catch up.
“we need to find miki as soon as possible,” dazai looks at chuuya as he explains nervously. “yokohama isn’t too big of a place, she couldn’t have gone far. i could call atsushi too—“
“dazai-“
“but atsushi has a cat. i’m not exactly sure how that would help, maybe ranpo could deduce where miki is as long as we buy him sweets as a gift of gratitude—“
“osamu!” chuuya finally succesfully interrupts.
dazai stops talking and looks at his partner who had grabbed his wrists. chuuya’s expression has softened, and they’re now closer to each other compared to moments ago.
“osamu,” the red head repeats. “you’re really willing to go that far to find a pet?”
dazai huffs. “it’s your pet. when we were sixteen, all you ever talked about was how you wish you had a dog, but you couldn’t because your brother had allergies, so you’d research on places that allowed pets. i won’t let you lose your very first dog, it’s just as important to me as it is to you.”
and that’s all it took for chuuya to know.
“will you marry me, dazai?”
the brunette’s eyes widen, and his breathing stills for a minute before he grounds himself once again.
“yes, i— fuck, chuuya, of course,” dazai stutters out.
“…are you sure?” chuuya asks, stunned at the other’s certainty. “it’s sudden, and unplanned, and i don’t even have a ring yet.”
“don’t care,” dazai states as he moves himself closer to chuuya. “i want to marry you, we’ll figure it all out soon. we’ll find miki.”
chuuya can’t resist the tears gathering at the corner of his eyes when dazai pulls him in for a kiss. fingers interlocking together, they both melt into it until they’re apart, trying to catch their breaths. and even then, chuuya chases for dazai’s lips once more, this time for a series of chaste kisses full of promises.
when they finally pull away, dazai has a smile that reaches his eyes.
“i’m getting married,” dazai mutters in bliss.
the ginger chuckles. “oh yeah? me too.”
“miki’s gonna be just fine. we’ll go out again by sunrise, it’s not safe for us to wander around this late at night.” the brunette says, before leaving another chaste kiss on his partner’s lips. chuuya nods, mind more at ease.
“we’ll look for her together?”
dazai nods with a smile, indicating a promise he’s willing to keep. he’d do anything to keep his boyfriend— fiancé happy and within a state of serenity. it was harder back then, when he was twenty-two and feeling lost with his life. the fog had clogged his periphery too much, the fog had made him forget about chuuya. his chuuya.
but now he’s twenty-nine, making christmas decorations for their very own home, and recently engaged. accepting this affection is easier, dazai doesn’t question his worthiness for it as much as he used to in the past, a growth that is so liberating.
and chuuya is so, so proud of his love.
——
it’s sunset hour. dazai is out buying extra wine and beer for the christmas eve celebratjon they’re hosting, and chuuya is at home left to deal with meal preparations.
miki lays on the kitchen floor, idle as she plays with her favourite chew toy.
their party isn’t huge, and only one guest has showed up (albeit half an hour early). chuuya prepares a negroni with a dash of fresh grapefruit juice for koyou, who takes a sip after thanking the younger man.
chuuya sits across the woman with his own martini.
“i’m really glad you could make it, ane-san. i know you’re schedule is hectic around winter,” chuuya says once he takes a sip of his cocktail.
koyou smiles softly. “don’t fret about it, i cleared my schedule this week once i had received your invitation. i wouldn’t miss a simple gathering during a holiday, especially since it’s hosted by you and that partner of yours.”
“yes, but let me thank you for that, ane-san. it means a lot to me.”
“well then, you’re welcome,” the older woman replies. “so, pray tell, what made you realize you wanted to marry dazai-kun?”
chuuya almost chokes mid-sip. “how did you know—?”
koyou laughs with a hand over her lips. “your ring, it’s glistening on your left hand. i can tell that you chose it, you’ve always had an eye for the best quality.”
the red head scoffs light heartedly, but doesn’t resist the smile spreading on his lips. “it happened last weekend. it was spontaneous but it was still.. wonderful. i wouldn’t have had it any other way.
miki had gotten lost that night in yokohama, and i came home distressed. when i realized how much dazai had cared, i just… i just knew. to others, my distress would’ve been mundane or impractical, and i felt a little embarassed to be almost crying because my dog had escaped her leash, but dazai… he didn’t see it that way.
he cared. he cares for me, and i’ve never been so much more certain about that. i- i know it may sound kind of silly to have that moment because my pet went missing for one night.”
koyou observes the younger man. his eyes had softened, a smile gracing his lips, a completely different picture from when he was a reckless young man who had impulsive evenings spent with alcohol and kitchen-scissor haircuts. in front of her was a grown man in love, who had learned how to open up his heart and bare it to the right hands.
“i trust you both on this decision,” koyou states softly. “you both seem happy. along with contentment… i hope your days will be filled with love that is continuously growing.”
chuuya smiles at the heartfelt words. “i can’t thank you enough, ane-san. i truly love him.”
koyou remembers the days of when chuuya was fifteen. hotheaded yet capable of gentleness, youthful yet lacked the experience of a childhood. dazai had barged in his life like a force to reckon with, inseparable no matter the distance put between them.
thank god for dazai , she thinks to herself.