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Language:
English
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Published:
2023-08-23
Updated:
2023-08-23
Words:
1,196
Chapters:
3/?
Comments:
23
Kudos:
57
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1
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689

really badly written bugbo oneshots 🤯🤯

Summary:

random silly goofy bugbo oneshots that will probably be either crack or crack taken seriously but still like half crack LMAOOA

Notes:

umummu silly snail dude appears🤯🤯 (i made a bugbo oc GELP)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: weird snail from tree

Chapter Text

“hi there gerboWHY IS THERE ANOTHER OAK TREE.”

“oh hi bugbo!! tthis trees always been here!!”

“i dont like this oak tree either joe cut it down.”

 joe starts writing on his notepad.

“😁😁 ………………..”

writing noises

“😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 …………………..”

”someones in the tree” is written on the no

“i still dont like it.”

the axe fucking teleports into bugbos hands and he chops the tree down 

”ok” is on the notepad

“TIMBERR-“

“the tree is already cut down.”

“oh right”

 

“ok now that the horrible tree is gone we can go on with our wonderful day-“

“OH MY GOD MY HOUSE” says a snail

“oh hi snail!!! whats ur name??”

“MY HOUSE IS GONE OH MY GOD NO 😭😭‼️‼️”

“thats a weird name!!!! but ok!!!”

“what no my name is olive”

“oh ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“…. *INHALE* you live in the oak tree???”

“yeag but ig i dont anymore”

“good.”

“what.”

Chapter 2: Red Rock

Summary:

THIS IS A JOKE I SWEAR IM WEITING THIS BC OF WHAG A FRIEND SAID HGRKDPCPPCC

 

uhhh its. red brother x stone merchant kinda. HGELP

Notes:

why am i doing this (ALSO BTW THIS TAKES PLACE THE DAY BEFORE SET IN STONE HAPPENS GELP)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The merchant stood at his stand, waiting for his next customer.

This new lack of customers upset him, usually there would be a nice old line for rocks at this time of day. He wondered what happened to everyone.

 

He sighed, resting his rock head on his arm. “Hmm.. if only i had a real brother to help me ou-“

Suddenly, a red figure came runni- “DID SOMEONE SAY THE RED BROTHER?!?!?!!???!!?!” wait i didnt finish narrating 

“Ah- hello, I am the stone merchant! Did you wish to buy something-“

“HELLOO I AM THE RED BROTHEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! tommorowyoumustrun fromurstandand alsotakethismushroomas agift GOODBYEYEYEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

And with that, the red figure faded away. 

“How.. odd. They didn’t even buy anything…”

The merchant thought about what the red brother said. 

“Run from your stand.. what?” 

As the day went by, their stand stayed customerless. At the end of the day, the merchant took the odd blue glowing mushroom home.

“What.. is this thing?” The merchant observed it, trying to make even a bit of sense of what it was. “Is this… a drug??” He shook it. Suddenly, three odd items shot out of it. A red party hat, a small red stone, and a…. box of chocolates?

How… odd.

 

Notes:

what am i doing GELP (tgeres probably like a milluon spellong and gramer mistakes GELPDP)

Chapter 3: MORE RED ROCK!?!?!?

Summary:

The merchant goes for a walk and sees a certain familiar red face.
(AKA GAYASS SHIT HAPPENS!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥)

Notes:

THERES PROBABLY SO MANY MISTAKES GELDP ITS LITERALLY 3 AM AS IM FINISHING THIS LMAKAK i am literally go in to sleep right after posting this LMAO
also i felt extra silly so heres a kinda longer chapter GELDP

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The merchant stood around, because for some reason he couldn’t go to his stand. He could just go to his stand anyway and actually get some shells but.. for some reason the weird red dude seemed…. nice? Trustworthy. That’s probably the word. Just trustworthy.

Well.. he didn’t exactly have anything else to do, maybe he could just go for a walk?

Why not. He grabbed the blue mushroom and stepped out the door to go walk a random direction.

 

As he walked, he eventually reached a fuckton of windmills. Like, REALLY weird amount of windmills. There was literally no reason for them to be there, it sort of confused him. But, his rocky legs were somehow tired, so he sat down against one of them. The rusty red color of the windmills base was really nice to him, red was always his favorite color. But, after hearing a small shuffling behind him, he turned around and saw another nice red thing.



“So.. are you just gonna watch me from behind that tree or-“

“HI IM THE RED BROTHER!!!!!!” Their speech sped up to the point you could just barely even  decipher what he just said. 

“…Yeah, you told me that yesterday..” 

Cricket noises

“……..Do you wanna.. sit down?-“

“YEAH SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

They quickly ran over at the speed of light to the rock’s side. Plopping down onto the dry grass beside the stone merchant. 

“MUSHROOM!!!!!!!!” They pointed over to the blue mushroom the merchant had been holding in his other hand.

“Oh, the mushroom?” They picked it up and shook it around. The three items, the red painted rock, the red sparkly party hat, and the box of chocolates, all flew out one by one. The merchant put the mushroom to the side, and looked at the items once again. The red brother grinned happily, quickly picking up the party hat and roughly putting it on the merchant, causing it to slightly crumple at the bottom.

“WERE MATCHING!!!!” They picked up the rock and pointed to it, then at the merchant, while smiling brightly. “Oh hey, I guess we are.” The merchant chuckled slightly. The red one smiled even brighter. 

 

Suddenly, three figures, a tall and freakishly smiling bug, a guy with a gradient head, and a green spider, all walked up to them.

“Oh, hey!! Aren’t you the stone merchant?” The green one remarked. “Oh, yes! I am the stone merchant, would you like something?” He stood up, and looked over the three.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your stand, why must you be all the way out here?” The tall bug tilted their head in a slightly.. unsettling matter, but it didn’t bother him. “I merely was taking a break for today, but you may buy-“

“RAHHHHGGRRGEGRGEHAHSDFHFHFJFJCJVJRHDHF!!!!!!!!(&$;@37(&:&” 

“………………………….”

“Now, in situations like these, I like to ask myself, what would gradie-“

“RGAHAHSRGRGRRGRGSHRHEAHSHDHJF‼️‼️‼️ EGERGEGSGJJFF;&:$,&/&$;&.&.&”

“………………………………………….”

The tall bug grinned even more unsettlingly than before, clearly being annoyed. Then, the one with a gradient head started writing down on a paper.

‘theres more rocks ovr there’ Was written down as they pointed in a different direction.

“Woa, more rocks!!” The green spider commented as they followed the gradient, who was going towards the other rocks. The tall bug stood still for a second, just staring at the red brother and the stone merchant. Then, They quickly walked away with the others.

 

The merchant sighed. “Welp. There goes my shells.” The red brother frowned, but then a badly drawn lightbulb appeared above their head. They grabbed the merchant’s hand..rock? And they ran in a direction the merchant had never been before. “Wh- hey! First you scare away my customers then you literally start dragging me to some random place, what the hell is your… problem?”

 The merchant and the brother were now standing right infront of.. an ice cream stand. “IWANTD TO MAKE YOUFEELBERTER!!!!!!!!!!!” They smiled, holding tight onto the merchants hand. “Huh.. i’ve never seen this place before.” They stared at the stand. “Thanks, RB.” The merchant looked over at the red brother, his eyes lit up. The red brother started grinning and jumping up and down at this new abbreviation of their name. The merchant chuckled. 

 

Once they actually walked up to order something, they saw a green and pink snail who was somehow constantly blushing at the stand. “Hi, whaddya want?” They pointed to the menu, and certain bright red cherry flavor definitely stood out to the red brother. They immediately ordered it, and the merchant got rocky road chocolate. They waited for a bit, and their ice cream was ready.

 

“..Thanks for this.” The merchant looked over at the red brother, who was absolutely chomping his ice cream. “NOWORRIESS!!!!!!!!! I LIEK SEEIG U HAPPYY!!!!!!! UR REALLY NICEEE!!!!!!!!!!” They said, with a smile as bright as the goofy looking sun. “….Really?” “YEP!!!” They said, their ice cream no longer in their hands. “Wait, you finished yours already? Jeez i haven't even taken a-“ The merchant fell silent, staring at his ice cream.

“WHAT IS IT..?”

“I don’t have a mouth, RB.”

“OH.”

Notes:

gays amiright WHY IS THERE A SECOND END NOTE WHA

Notes:

bugbo really doesnt like oak trees LMAO