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Jemma shot up from her mattress in panic, panting as her arm shot out. Nervous and shaky, her eyes darted around the white room, her arm unusually steady.
After ensuring that the room was safe and clear, her eyes wandered to her outstretched arm, her heart sinking. A sharp stick, carved to a nice, dangerous point was grasped firmly in it.
She lowered her hand into the mattress, trying to gather in her mind just what the hell was going on.
PTSD.
It happened often with those who witnessed something devastating, life changing in a negative way. It was the only logical thing that made sense, people who have been a part of the military or in a war know what it is like to deal with this every single night.
Waking up, your body tangled in your sheets and blankets, shaken up and mind racing.
No one has ever been through what she witnessed and bounced back within the first night spent in a real bed.
Turning her head, she was surprised to see Fitz sitting in a chair not too far from her bed, posture straight as he leaned against the wall. It took her a moment to realize that he wasn't just sitting, but sleeping peacefully as well. Her eyes looked over his face, marveling at how at peace he looked in this moment.
Watching him sleep was like a proud, new parent watching their child sleep peacefully. Everything about them was just as interesting to pick out as if they were awake.
Pushing off her covers, Jemma slowly slid her feet out and sat them on the cold, slick floor. Quietly she lowered herself to where her head could lay itself on his leg, her hand automatically tucking her wayward hair behind her ear.
It was in that instant that she felt her mind start to ease itself, her panicked breaths turning into small, soothing puffs that matched with Fitz's sleeping breath. All of this felt unreal, like a cruel and harsh dream that she will soon wake up to find herself still long lost in the barren wasteland that is space.
She had to prove herself otherwise.
Lifting a hand, she allowed herself to squeeze his knee lightly. Like a normal person would use a pinch to ensure the reality of a situation, she let this tell her that everything that was happening was more real than anything she ever witnessed.
This brought a quick, weak smile to her face as she closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall back into a rest. Her mind grew heavier with each breath, her body relaxing. She was almost to the point of falling into a deeper sleep when a small groan brought her back from her quick rest.
The being whose leg she was using as a pillow began to move, she listened as he raised his arms to stretch them above his head before they lowered themselves back down.
Damn it, what would he think of her being so clingy like this?
She was to the point of lifting her head to move when sudden a warm sensation tingled down her ear, as a someone gently stroked her hair. Her almost tensed body soon began to relax again, a sigh of relief leaving her lips.
He didn't bother stopping, she could feel his eyes on her as she kept her head on his leg, clearly enjoying the soothing attention he was giving her.
"How are you feeling?" What should have been a tired, groggy voice was a tone that came out sounding pleasant and wide awake.
She shrugged her shoulders weakly, holding back a shiver as he fingers grazed the skin on her neck.
"Better, I suppose."
She could already imagine the look on his face. An expression of concern as he watched her lay there, his mind racing with words to say but nothing seemed to come out. Ever since she put two and two together on his feelings for her, she couldn't believe the amount of times she never realized how much he did that.
He did it cause he was afraid; afraid of messing up, of his feelings.
Afraid of losing her.
He let out a sigh, it was heavy, like the burden she carried around for almost six months. His fingers stopped stroking her, it took all of her strength to keep herself from whimpering in disappointment.
"That wasn't all that convincing of an 'I suppose'." he pointed out to her.
She turned her head so that she could look up at him, only to find that he was already looking at her. Their eyes met for what felt like the millionth time in their life, but something out of this moment sparked differently compared to the rest.
There was always a love between them, this much she knew. Before it was strictly platonic, science partners and late nights eating popcorn while watching goofy movies.
Now, now their gazes held so much more. Behind their eyes was future moments of holding hands as they walked to the lab, sneaking kisses and hoping that Skye-erm-Daisy would not catch them and spread the news like wildfire.
Captivated, it took him clearing his throat softly to bring a red tint to her pale cheeks. She quickly averted her eyes, lowering them but found that looking at his stubbled jawline was no better.
Chewing on her lower lip, a frustrated growl came from low within her throat.
"I was lost in hell for six months, Fitz. Wandering, filthy, alone and scared," her voice choked, "I-I'm better now that I am with you."
This caused his eyebrows to shoot up, his expression was not so much as a look of surprise but a look of understanding relief.
"Yeah, yeah I can vouch for that. I was lost too." He leaned his head back against the wall, huffing out a breath as he closed his eyes.
"I was bloody lost without you."
Jemma felt a small twinge of guilt eating at the inside of her stomach, but her mind told herself to stop that right away.
None of this was her fault, none of it was Fitz's.
Hell, it was no one's fault.
Sitting up again, Fitz straightened his posture and looked at the wall across from him.
"Ya know, I had it all planned out, Jemma. A nice restaurant we could eat at, I had Hunter help me with an outfit-" this earned a giggle from her, the first in ages and it left a red tint on Fitz's face.
"-it was actually quite, cool, as he would put it. And, ya know, I also found this other place we could. It was like a garden and each night these musicians come out and play music, couples come to dance.." his voice trailed off quickly, his eyes slowly dropping down to lock with hers again.
There was a mist to them, the watery look that gave away how hard he was trying not to cry. Despite his tears threatening to slip, she felt a slight jump in her heart.
"I had so many plans, Jemma.. And that bloody rock took it all away."
She swallowed hard, trying to keep her own tears in check. His voice was weak now, like someone that cried and screamed in agony for so long, his voice was hoarse from it all.
Reaching out her hand, she allowed her fingers to graze softly over the skin on the back of his hand. He sucked in a small breath, whether it was from surprising at her touch or from the irritation of their failed plans, she did not care.
"They're just plans, Fitz. They can be remade."
He let out a small nod, watching her fingers as they stroked his hand.
A small, weak smile crossed her lips as she dared herself to remove her head from the comfort and warmth of his lap.
"In fact, we do not need a garden or music to dance. All we need is each other." she held out both her hands to him, hoping he'd catch on at what she was getting at.
It took him a moment, but when the realization hit, his eyes widen.
"Jemma, you want to dance now? You haven't rested long enough!"
She shook her head, rolling her eyes. Same old dramatic Fitz.
"Trust me, I think I have had enough rest to last me for a little while. Besides, you'll have hold on me and I'll have hold on you in case anything happens. It is a win-win, as Skye would say." she finished, wiggling her fingers in hopes that would help him agree with her.
He stared at her in deep silence, his eyes locked on her outstretched hands. He looked like a confused puppy, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he contemplated her offer. Oh, the things that expression did to her stomach.
Without so much as a word, Fitz shook his head and stood from his seat. Gingerly, he took her hands in his and helped her off of the floor.
Naturally, her arms found their way to his neck, where they wrapped themselves around and held on tight. His own hands had no problem at finding their way to her waist, where they rested lightly.
It must have looked silly, her in her long, gray PJs and Fitz fully dressed in day clothes while they swayed slowly to no music.
Jemma did not care. In her mind, there was music already playing and she imagined that this garden Fitz spoke of was surrounding them.
Her hazel eyes kept themselves locked with his bright blue ones, taking advantage of the fact that being this close allowed herself to see every little detail of the bright ocean blue stretched out before her.
Ocean.
That word made her heart sink, causing her to almost stop in her place.
Imagine, just imagine, what would have happened if she hadn't pushed Fitz so hard into the field? This tore at her insides, as she looked back up into his eyes.
"Do you ever regret it?"
His eyes locked on hers, he tilted his head to the side slightly.
"Ever regret what?"
Her teeth bit down on her tongue, her nails digging into the palms of her hands. This was a risky question but she needed to know the answer.
"Joining S.H.I.E.L.D? Ah what, with Ward betraying us and the bottom of the ocean, not to mention all the fighting and the Monolith-" she shook her head, her ponytail swaying and knocking the loose piece from behind her ear. "Do you ever wish we just.. stuck with the Academy?"
Their swaying to their imaginary music never stopped, even as Fitz remained eerily silent for quite some time. Jemma thought her mind might explode from the curiosity at knowing his answer, but he responded before anything could be done.
"No." It was simple, it was straightforward and quick, but she could tell he was far from done.
"I mean, I was tucked safely away in a indoor, non-mobile lab at the Academy, but Jemma, oh that Jemma.. She had other plans. Dragged the two of us into this flying circus, she did!"
She let out a surprised giggle, squaring her jaw.
"Oh please, as if she ever forced you to follow her anywhere!"
A smile cracked his face, one that was wide, pure and full of teasing.
"You should have heard her, though.. 'Oh Fitz, just imagine! The most perfect opportunity, a whole new world! We'd be bloody fools to pass up on this one!'"
Her hand uncurled from her palm, swatting him instantly on the back of his head: "That's not even how she sounds, I'm sure!"
His smile widened into a grin, his hands slowly moving themselves to her lower back. Her mind began to reel at his simple touch, his grin fading into something serious. Somehow the small gap that once stood between them was slowly closing shut, they were both becoming very aware of the way their eyes lingered on one another's, the way their breath touched one another's lips.
She swallowed hard, her heart was pounding heavily against her rib cage. Damn, she was so close, the temptation to close the rest of the gap was greater than anything she ever felt.
Forget hell, the last six months and all the pain before that. Every single drop of acid was worth what slice of Heaven she had right in front of her and not mention, the future run ins with it. Fitz was before her, hands gently caressing the small of her back as if he were afraid letting her go would make her disappear again.
This sudden need for one another woke something up inside of her that was never this strong before.
Tilting his head, his eyes flicked over her face.
"And do you know what I said?"
She did, she knew the sentence like it was drilled into her brain. It was one of the last things he said before she made the mistake of jumping out of that plane.
Shaking her head slowly, she dared him to continue on.
He lowered his head closer to hers, eyes moving from her lips and back to her eyes again. "I said to her: 'Every minute of everyday you've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at SciOps, on this bloody plane'."
She let out a small laugh, suddenly aware of the fact that tears had began to stream their way down her cheeks and off her chin. Despite the small smile on his face, he too, had tears flooding his eyes.
He removed one of his hands from her lower back, using his thumb to wipe a tear beginning to stream down stained face.
"Because no matter where you were, or what you were doing, whether you were in hell or on a mission, you were there for me, Jemma Simmons. You've been beside me the whole damn time and we always, always fixed our problems. Together."
Her heart leaped in her chest and what should have been an explosion into messy tears turned into something else entirely.
Crashing forward, her lips met his with a force that knocked the breath out of both of their lungs. Her head spinning, she used her grip around his neck to keep her from falling over, allowing the taste and softness of his lips linger on hers.
Her actions must have surprised him, for he stood shocked and still for the first few seconds, before allowing his arms to find their way back to her waist, his lips melting into hers.
The scenario before her opened up quicker than she expected, one moment they have their hold onto a kiss that's every shade of soft and sweet, before it turns into the sheer distinction of fiery passion.
Her grip tightened around his neck, her head tilting itself to deepen the kiss, a whimper of surprise clamored from the back of her throat at the touch of his tongue sliding against her lower lip.
She dug her nails into her palms, gasping in surprise when he lowers his hands to lift her up into his arms, her legs wrapping themselves around his waist.
Her hands found their way into his hair, tangling themselves in its short curls as her body began shivering with excitement at the fact that they were playing what Skye would call "tonsil hockey" between one another.
They were so close, but she wanted to be closer. She felt safe like this, his arms holding her up as she breathed in and got drunk on his taste and scent. Oh bloody hell, this was what it felt like to be floating on clouds.
Much to her dismay, Fitz broke the kiss some time later to allow themselves to catch their breaths. His hands rested on her lower back, up high enough so that he was careful as to not touch any place he wasn't permitted to wander yet.
Their breathing heavy, their eyes followed down to each other's lips, laughing at the fact that they were puffy and red from kissing so intimately, before their eyes made their way back into locking with each other.
His pupils were wide with excitement, causing herself to blush at the thought that her eyes too, were probably dilated.
Without so much as a word, Fitz leaned his head against Jemma's, where he released a sigh of relief against her lips. She shivered, her arms falling back to holding themselves around his neck. They held onto each other in perfect silence, nothing but the sound of one another's breath and hearts pounding.
Moving one of his hands, Fitz gently fixed a loose piece of her hair, tucking it behind her ear before allowing his thumb to trace its way down her cheek.
In the midst of the quiet, heavy breaths, a sentence both soft and sweet emerged from his lips, leaving her tingling with excitement.
"I love you, Jemma."
She sucked in a breath, a genuine smile making its way across her face.
"I love you too, Fitz."