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His grip tightens on the steering wheel in front of him and his golden eyes glance down to his phone, the GPS lit up in the darkness of his car. He doesn’t have much further to drive and the closer he gets to Columbus, the more he can feel his nerves thrumming through his entire body. Inhaling slowly, he exhales even slower. “Relax,” he scolds himself, moving his eyes to the rearview mirror. The headlights from the car behind him lights his face just enough to see his reflection. “It’s just Sebastian .” Except, it’s not just Sebastian anymore. Not since the last time they saw either other. This wasn’t just anything. This was something . He doesn’t know what exactly but he knows it’s unlike anything he’s ever experienced before in his life.
Quickly checking over his shoulder, he clicks on his blinker to avoid an exit-only lane. In the millisecond it takes for his eyes to blink he can see the look on Sebastian’s face as he leans in closer, the electric current transferring from Sebastian’s fingertips to the underlayer of his skin. It feels just as fresh as that night and it causes him to inhale sharply.
When he'd received the invitation to Dalton Academy's class of 2013 ten-year reunion, Blaine was touched. He hadn't even graduated from there and he was still consistently thought of by his fellow Warblers. He had been excited to go, thinking that seeing his old friends might be fun. The prospect of having the Warblers together under one roof for old time’s sake meant a probable impromptu performance and he was never one to turn that down. Unfortunately, most of his closest friends were too busy to make it and he was left with classmates who never touched the glee club. He was disappointed and wished he hadn't bothered.
It didn’t help that the Warblers that were there had only been interested in asking about his failed engagement from about seven years prior. Sure, he understood, it had been years and not everyone kept up with social media. They genuinely hadn’t known but he still didn’t care to spend the entire night talking about Kurt.
“Oh that’s so sad, I’m so sorry…!”
“Eh,” he scrunched his nose, uninterested in feigning even a remotely apologetic reaction. “It’s not really that sad.”
After telling about the tenth person-- whose name he would not have remembered if not for the name tag on his blazer-- that he and Kurt had broken up years ago, Blaine was wildly uninterested in continuing on with any more conversations the rest of the night. With a soft huff, he downed the drink in his hand and placed it on a nearby table before going to get himself one last double shot of anything. He was thoroughly disappointed in this reunion and its guest list. Not a single person he wanted to see was there. Not even the one he’d hoped to run into the most.
“Hitting the bar already, killer?” A voice from behind called out that Blaine immediately recognized. When he turned towards the voice, Sebastian Smythe was standing there in a well-tailored suit and tie, along with a half-empty glass of something clear. “Better slow down or I’m gonna have to save you from the side of the road again,” he teased, looking at the shorter from over the rim of his glass as he took a drink. The reference to the first night they’d gone drinking together all those years ago. Sebastian had been on his way home when he saw a sad Blaine walking home alone in the dark, so naturally, he stopped to pick him up.
A genuine smile and laugh was pulled from Blaine’s lips as he looked at his old friend. Suddenly he wasn’t regretting his choice to show up anymore. “I’ll have you know that I’m much better at holding my liquor now than when I was fifteen, Seb.”
With a wry laugh, Sebastian downed the rest of his drink so he could get another. “We’ll see about that, won’t we?”
While Sebastian’s attention was on getting a new drink, Blaine let himself take a good look at the man in front of him. He somehow looked completely different and yet it was like he hadn’t changed a bit. He’d grown more mature and with that more handsome-- more filled out and less like the lanky teenager he’d had such a crush on all those years ago. It made something inside of Blaine’s stomach flitter about.
“So, are you in town just for the reunion? I can’t imagine you leaving New York for anything…” Sebastian inquired.
With a soft laugh of embarrassment, Blaine nodded. “Yeah, actually. I came home just for this and I was really regretting it, honestly…”
“ Was ?” Sebastian once again looking at him with a knowing smirk.
“Yeah. Was .” Blaine didn’t divulge anything further as they shared a moment of eye contact, both of them knowing what he meant. Instead, he asked a question of his own. “What about you? Where are you living now? Certainly not Westerville…”
“God, no,” The taller scoffed with a shake of his head. “I’m in Columbus for a bit. I’m, uh, moving to Paris in December.” He made sure to catch Blaine’s eyes when he said that, wanting to see his reaction.
Blaine felt something hanging in the air between them as their eyes met, Sebastian’s statement settling in his mind. It sounded almost like a warning but also as if it was a challenge at the same time. “Mm,” he hummed in acknowledgement, a nervous feeling swirling in his stomach as he sipped his drink. He didn't have much to say to that because he didn’t exactly know what to say to that.
Letting out a gentle, amused breath, Sebastian shook his head. “I’m glad you’re here, though; I honestly didn’t expect to run into you here. It’s been such a long time…”
That feeling hanging in the air only intensified with the way Sebastian held his gaze still. “Yeah,” he breathed, shaking his head as he tried really hard in that moment to remember why he didn’t speak to Sebastian. “Why is that…?” He pondered aloud, less of a question for Sebastian and more of general wonder.
“Don’t know,” Sebastian said with a little shrug. “Probably something to do with your husband.” He raised his eyebrows as he drank again. He hadn’t meant it to sound bitter but Blaine could vaguely taste the hint of black coffee in the air. “You look good. Which comes as no surprise; you’ve always looked good. New York just looks good on you, I suppose.”
A small rush of heat painted Blaine’s cheeks pink as he glanced down with a slightly bashful smile. Sebastian’s compliment caused the flitter to return. “Yeah, thanks,” he chuckled as his golden eyes lifted to Sebastian’s again. “I don’t have to tell you that you look good-- you already know.” He motioned vaguely towards his friend, biting on his bottom lip.
That signature Smythe smirk curled at the corner of the other’s lip and he lifted his head in a slight nod. “Still, you know I never tire of hearing how handsome I am,” he teased the shorter man. Briefly, Sebastian looked around them as if to survey their immediate surroundings, as if looking for someone and Blaine knew exactly who. “Speaking of your husband-- You here alone…?”
Blaine’s exhaled a soft chuckle, his eyes didn’t leave Sebastian’s as he nodded. “Yeah, I am. You?” His eyebrows raised, not occurring to him until now that even though he was currently single, Sebastian could very well not be.
“Of course, I am, you know me, B. Unattached.” Sebastian answered with a half-smile, something melancholy about his answer. There was a beat before he spoke up again. “Wanna go find someplace else to talk? It feels a little crowded in here, y’know?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” Blaine nodded towards a less crowded corner of the room. He remembered noting that spot earlier in the night; it wasn’t occupied by tables or old peers from his teenage days. He’d planned on hiding there if the night had gone sour but he fully didn’t expect to be spending the entire evening standing there with his old friend.
Over the next hour or so, in between bouts of flirtation, Sebastian actually asked first about his life in New York and Blaine got to share for the first time that evening that he dropped out of NYADA and ended up on Broadway anyway. He’d done tons of theatre and even gone on tour since they’d last spoken. He eventually also shared that his and Kurt’s engagement had ended before they could even really begin planning a wedding and he wasn’t exactly sad about it. It was for the best and he and Kurt both knew that.
Blaine learned that Sebastian had followed in his father’s footsteps and had been working at his father’s firm for the past couple of years. He also learned that Sebastian still had yet to be in a relationship that lasted longer than a couple of weeks. “It’s just not worth it, there’s no one good enough out there…” the taller had said, causing Blaine to laugh out loud.
“You’re just so picky,” he shook his head, smiling fondly at Sebastian. “You have to give people a chance, Seb…” It was lost on him that those words echoed the ones Sebastian had said to him all those years ago.
“I’m not ashamed of being picky.” Sebastian shook his head, that smirk returning as their eyes met for the hundredth time that night. “I loved a boy in high school and he ruined me for all others.”
Sebastian’s bold statement caused Blaine’s smile to falter as the air thickened and he felt like he could fall right through the floor as his knees weakened. He was glad to be leaning against a wall. They kept each other’s gaze for a moment and Blaine didn’t realize he was holding his breath; the tension between them was something he hadn’t experienced in quite some time but even still, he recognized the feeling. “He must’ve been an idiot… to break your heart like that…” he finally whispered. He’d be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind; he often wondered if he’d been so blinded by his puppy love for Kurt that he couldn’t see what had been in front of him all those years ago.
With a small hum, Sebastian looked out at the space they were in; something clearly on his mind. “Yeah, well, he was in love or something,” he waved it off a little with a soft chuckle, it was known they were both clearly aware and in on the joke. There was a long moment of silence between them and for the first time that night, the silence felt uncomfortable. Just when Blaine was going to speak, Sebastian did first, his voice softer than Blaine had ever heard it before. “If you could do it all over again knowing what you knew now, would you?”
Blaine didn’t follow Sebastian’s line of sight, instead keeping his eyes on his friend’s profile. He felt a twinge of regret tugging at his heart. He was quiet as he thought over Sebastian’s question, giving it a proper moment before he answered honestly. “No.”
Sebastian turned back to look at Blaine and caught his eye, the two of them just staring at each other again. Their ever-growing tension was palpable and caused the taller man to pause before a soft, handsome smile graced his face.
Blaine's teeth grazed the inner side of his bottom lip. They’d been flirting all night long and it shouldn’t have been a secret that both of them were very interested in taking it further. “You know,” he said, his heartbeat starting to pick up as he spoke boldly from his place against the wall. “Instead of saying anything else, you could just kiss me.” The words came out confidently even though they were soft and just for Sebastian’s ears.
It only took a moment for Sebastian to consider the suggestion. “B… I’m leaving the States,” he whispered, wanting to make sure Blaine understood.
Blaine understood and he didn’t care. “I don’t care,” he whispered his thoughts with a gentle shake of his head.
Without another word, he took a step towards Blaine. He placed his hand on the wall beside Blaine's head, effectively boxing him in against the wall. Their proximity was closer than it had been all night-- Blaine could practically feel the heat radiating off Sebastian's cheeks despite them not being red externally and it ignited a small flame in the pit of his stomach.
The taller man's eyes flickered down to Blaine's soft, slightly parted lips, and his hand came up to cup the side of Blaine's face. Sebastian's gentle yet firm touch sent an electric current down Blaine’s heart and his racing heartbeat came to a brief pause. The moment between him telling Sebastian to kiss him and when Sebastian finally leaned in and eliminated what space was left between them felt like slow motion but in reality it was only a matter of seconds.
The way that Sebastian captured Blaine's lips in a deep kiss caused a soft sound to leave the shorter as he returned the kiss. Sebastian sucked Blaine's bottom lip between his own, his teeth gliding over the smooth skin ever so gently.
Blaine reached to grip the fabric covering Sebastian’s bicep, his fingers curling around it. He wanted him closer. Tilting his head, their noses brushed against each other as he inhaled Sebastian’s scent, becoming fully intoxicated and not from the alcohol they'd been drinking all night.
Forcing himself to look at the road that's beginning to blur in front of him, he shakes his head out of the memory. He lets out an incredulous chuckle as a forbidden thought crosses his mind.
What if this is it?
“You have to stop,” he says out loud to no one but himself. He’s getting ahead of himself and he knows it. He’s got every last dollar to his name tied up in a bet that this ends in nothing but another heartbreak. He has been unlucky when it comes to love and he expects this is no exception. Because he’s not the exception. Sebastian isn’t the dating or marrying type.
Sebastian has been clear from the moment they met all those years ago that he isn’t the relationship type-- even still he seems comfortable with his bachelor lifestyle. He isn’t looking for anyone to come take up space in his bed or his life. Not to mention the fact that Sebastian’s moving across the ocean. There is no point in getting his hopes up. What makes him think he could ever be the exception? It’s not like he can just leave New York and even if that were the case, Sebastian will never ask him to. Will he?
He’s gone over the scenarios in his mind this entire drive, going back and forth on how this could be the very best thing that’s ever happened to him or it could end in another heartbreak. The latter is what he considered to be the most realistic. Said realistic scenario runs through his mind and it settles the butterflies in his stomach just enough for him to take a normal breath. The image of him pulling up to Sebastian’s home and knocking on the door begins in his mind:
“Hey,” Sebastian says with a gentle smile. He’s genuinely happy to see Blaine but there’s something lingering that he can’t quite put his finger on.
Even still, Blaine smiles at the taller. “I brought dessert…! I, um, have no idea if it’s any good because it’s from the store on the corner down there but--” he gestures towards the vague area he’s referencing, an awkward laugh escaping his lips.
This makes Sebastian smile a little wider, finding the offering endearing “You didn’t have to do that,” he chuckled, taking the bag from his friend before nodding his head once towards the living room. “C’mon in,” He steps back to let Blaine in.
“Yeah, well, this was kinda last-minute and I didn’t want to come empty-handed.” He awkwardly follows Sebastian to his kitchen, watching as the taller man takes the cake out of the bag.
“Cheesecake is never a bad idea,” Sebastian says as he pops the plastic top off the dessert before rummaging through a nearby drawer to pull out a couple of forks.
Blaine grins and shakes his head. “Good, ‘cause that’s all they had,” he laughs, leaning against the counter. He can sense the air between them is different and it makes him nervous. He feels awkward and out of place. He clears his throat quietly as he takes the fork Sebastian offers to him.
They both take a bite of the cake, seeing no need for plates or a proper cut slice since it’s just the two of them.
“So,” Sebastian begins before Blaine can bring himself to talk. He’s hoping he’ll be the first to bring up the only thing that Blaine wants to talk about. Blaine already has what he wants to say ready in his mind but he just needs Sebastian to go first.
Instead, Sebastian says, “I was thinking we could watch a movie or something-- I can’t stay up too late, though, unfortunately. ‘Cause I gotta get up early for work tomorrow...” His tone is loud and clear and Blaine feels rejected before he’s even had the chance to ask a question.
Sucking in a quiet breath, Blaine swallows everything he wants to say. “That sounds great.” He forces a smile and takes another bite of the cake.
The night goes just as expected. The two of them sitting on the couch in a loud, tension-filled silence while a movie Blaine can’t even begin to focus on drags out what feels like an entire day’s worth of hours.
When he gets up to leave, Sebastian follows him to the door to say goodbye.
“This was nice; we should do it again sometime,” Blaine says with a smile, trying his very best not to be transparent with how disappointed he was.
“Yeah, definitely.” Sebastian nods his head, rubbing the back of his neck.
Blaine lingers for just a moment, wanting Sebastian to say anything else. He wants him to have a second thought. He wants something more. But the silence once again is too loud so he smiles at his friend one last time before nodding. “Good night, Sebastian.”
As he’s turning around, he feels Sebastian reach out to gently touch his wrist, stopping him mid-turn. He faces Sebastian again and he can see something in Sebastian’s expression he can’t identify, just like when he’d first arrived that night. Wordlessly, Sebastian pulls him into a tight hug. He’s surprised but he doesn’t hesitate to return it.
After spending the entire evening putting so much space between them, he’s confused by the sudden closeness and he doesn’t know what to say.
When they finally pull away, Sebastian looks Blaine in the eye. “Good night, Blaine. I’m really glad you came over,” he smiles a little. “I’m really glad we’re still friends.”
There it is. Despite it feeling like a dagger piercing right through his heart, Blaine returns the smile. Letting out a gentle, almost defeated-sounding breath, he nods. “We’ll always be friends, Sebastian.”
With that, they share one last quiet moment together before Blaine leaves.
“See, that is what you should expect here,” he tells himself when the scenario in his mind comes to an end. He sucks in a deep breath and blows it out slowly, his hands sliding down the steering wheel and then back up again. All he needs to do is manage his expectations and not let his need to romanticize every single interaction with someone consume him like this. He knows he needs to expect this story to end before it even begins. Falling in love with someone doesn’t mean they fall in love with you back-- Sebastian would know.
Still, despite his best efforts, there’s an optimistic flame flickering deep down in his stomach where his desire for Sebastian lies. It’s so nice to feel something like this again. It’s been so long. He dares to think that maybe just one time the stars will align in his favor. His right foot’s leaning heavily on the gas pedal and his left leg is shaking anxiously. The forbidden thought crosses his mind again: that Sebastian could be the person that brings his heart back to life after years of nothing but his attempts at love falling apart.
Placing his elbow against the window of his driver-side door, Blaine exhales slowly, leaning his head against his hand. He can feel his mind tying itself up and holding itself hostage as a different scenario plays out against his will like a flickering film.
When Sebastian opens the door and his eyes land on Blaine, his entire face lights up-- as if he’s been waiting for him forever and he’s finally there. No one’s ever been so happy to see him.
“Hi,” Blaine manages to speak softly, his cheeks warm with a blush as he holds up an offering. “I brought dessert…! I, um, have no idea if it’s any good because it’s from the store on the corner down there but--” he gestures towards the vague area he’s referencing.
Before he can say anything else, one of Sebastian’s hands is reaching for his wrist, and in one swift motion he gently pulls Blaine across the threshold. His other hand goes right up to cup Blaine’s cheek just the way it did the last time they kissed and he captures his lips in a slow, tender kiss.
Placing his hands on Sebastian’s sides, Blaine’s fingers curl around the fabric of his shirt to hold himself steady. He can’t believe this is happening and he might float right up into space if he doesn’t hang on. Sebastian deepens their kiss and Blaine follows his pace, pulling the taller more flush against his smaller frame. He hears the door being closed behind him, Sebastian pushing at it with his free hand as they step a little more into the house.
With their kiss coming to a natural end so they could both take a breath, Sebastian lingers in Blaine’s personal space. He leans their foreheads together and not a word is spoken for a long moment-- just the sounds of their elevated breaths filling the quiet house. It seems Sebastian is making a decision because next, he says, “Dessert can wait.”
Blaine nods with no hesitation, that flame of desire he’d felt at the reunion and his entire drive sparking back to life. “Yeah. Yeah, definitely,” he says breathlessly. This time he’s the one to go in for another kiss as he drops the bag to the ground. Sebastian’s hands have moved to Blaine’s front and he’s tugging at the shorter’s shirt as he blindly leads the way to his bedroom.
Shifting in his seat, Blaine feels that electric jolt go all through his body as the scenario abruptly comes to an end, leaving only residual flashes of what would happen next in his mind. He can feel Sebastian’s hands on his body, hear the sound of his breath shuddering, and it’s all too much.
“ Take the exit .”
“Huh?” Blaine is fully pulled back to present time by the voice on his phone and he realizes he’s been zoned out for the better part of the last hour and he’s already to his exit. “ Oh ..!” He quickly throws a look over his shoulder to cross a lane of traffic before he misses the exit completely. He’s only minutes away now and his mouth feels dry. The nervous butterflies awaken as he realizes he’s literally about to be face-to-face with Sebastian again and he has no actual idea how it’s going to go.
He wouldn’t have invited you over tonight if he didn’t want to see you.
“Right,” he answers himself out loud.
He could also just be being polite because he knows you’re going home soon.
He shakes his head again, letting out a deep exhale as he pulls into a nearby parking lot. After running in and finding a suitable dessert for the two of them to share, and giving himself a pep talk in the mirror of the store’s bathroom, he takes the last leg of his journey.
His headlights flash against Sebastian’s home, surely alerting him that Blaine has arrived if he’s paying any attention. Taking a brief moment to breathe last time, Blaine nods to himself. “Okay, we’re here, we’re doing this.” He continues to talk himself up on the long walk from his car to Sebastian’s front door, dessert in hand. “Whatever happens is okay because regardless, you’re friends. That’s enough.”
Is it?
“Shut up ,” he whispers to himself as he stands in front of Sebastian’s door. Sucking in a deep breath, he holds it in as his finger hovers over the doorbell for just a moment as he contemplates going back home before he finally presses it. He hears the chime ring through the large home and he doesn’t exhale again until the door swings open and Sebastian is standing there on the other side, a smile spreading across his face as their eyes meet.