Archive of Our Own ^beta

It is common knowledge. All things that rise will eventually fall. 

The rain falls and goes back to the sky. This is the way of things.

-

God, how much he loves him. It should be embarrassing by now. And it is sometimes. Sky isn’t really used to opening up his heart to other people anymore and Rain is more than aware of all the dark reasons behind this. And yet, over the years, Rain has taught him to crack the doors open, just a tad, enough for his friend to bulldoze his way in and find a place in Sky’s heart that is now solely reserved for him.

Sky rolls his eyes at all the dumb, silly things his friend does and says, but he is also the one who leaves his hand palm up on his thigh when Rain is driving them to school, the silent invitation enough for Rain to take and use. And secretly, Sky loves it. He loves that Rain - despite knowing everything about Sky’s past - doesn’t shy away from physical touch or intimacy. He doesn’t treat Sky as if he were made of glass - even if in the beginning, there was hesitation and timidity in the way Rain put his arms around Sky or in the way he leaned his head on his shoulder. But if Rain is anything, he’s persistent. He has never once stopped showering Sky in friendly affection, despite its intensity levels varying over the years. Rain has never once stopped and never once complained. And that is exactly what Sky needed at the time.

Sometimes, he hates it. Sometimes, when Rain hugs him, he feels like ants crawling on his skin, he breaks out in a cold sweat and his hands turn to stone at his sides. He doesn’t push Rain away even if all his instincts tell him to do so. He doesn’t want to. The shortness of breath, the panic, the anxiety, they all slowly fade away and in their stead, Sky only ends up feeling the warmth of Rain’s arms around him, his solid chest pressed against his own, his chin digging into his neck, his breath on his skin. And Sky sighs in relief and eventually hugs him back. He's had long, painful conversations about this with his therapist. A lot of professional advice that he tried to deflect and deny and reject and ultimately accept and put in practice. But there was always one thing, crystal clear in his mind, one thing he cannot deny to this day (not for lack of trying).

The sky and the rain are preordained to coexist. And Sky needs his Rain.

It is the way of things.

-

Sky sighs after Rain’s fourth attempt to start over the story. He gives him a look, puts his hand on his shoulder and gives a firm squeeze. Rain settles in his seat on the couch. But immediately, he starts pulling on Sky’s sleeve and whining up a storm. A particular storm to be exact.

"Sky, you don’t understand. I wanted to punch him in the mouth."

Sky lets out an undignified snort.

"Yeah, with your mouth."

Rain shoves him away, but immediately pulls him back even closer, pressing himself to his side, both of them squished at the end of their couch. Sky almost shakes his head while glancing at their half-finished assignments lying forgotten on the floor. He should have known Rain would be insufferable today after his accidental encounter with the supposed god of the architecture faculty. Sky has only ever met Phayu once or twice because of his student council activities and the man never really seemed to be as bad as Rain is making him out to be now. But then again, Rain does have the tendency to exaggerate everything. Especially when it comes to guys. 

This time though, Sky knows it is more than Rain being a drama queen. Sky knows that look in his friend's eyes. Rain is interested. Except Phayu seems to have stepped on a nerve when he played with Rain and called him stupid and despite Rain cursing Phayu like there was no tomorrow, Sky can also tell that Phayu’s words have hurt his best friend. 

Phayu stepped on a nerve, but more precisely he picked on older insecurities of Rain's, ugly ones that he used to whisper to Sky about in the middle of the night when they were both too tired to fall asleep, exhausted and yet wired up because of the astronomical amount of schoolwork they had to deal with.

Rain is always perceived as a dumb boy. Silly, airheaded Rain. And while that description is not far from reality, Sky is the only one who knows that Rain is perceived that way because Rain likes it. 

He likes the lack of responsibility, the low expectations, the space to act silly and to not have his actions interrogated or questioned by everybody else. It is freeing, an easy way of living, Sky supposes. It's completely the opposite of his way. Perfectionist, hard-on-himself Sky.

However, last year, after their first semester, people’s words started to eventually wear Rain down, dig after dig at his intelligence, the flippant comments he overheard sometimes in the hallways between other freshmen, the way so many of his peers (even some of their friends) treated him as if he were truly stupid and were not afraid to say so to Rain’s face too (as if being stupid suddenly kills your emotions or your ability to feel hurt ). Rain was a scholarship student, but it didn't seem to matter. After all, Rain always forgets where he put his keys and he never really gets it when Sig is being sarcastic, and he laughs a lot, so of course, that means his academic achievements are just him being a lucky guy, not hard-working or intelligent. But lucky and silly.

Rain’s patience and mental health eventually started to crack. 

Sky knows his best friend is smart. And above all, he is determined. So Rain asked for help and Sky offered all of what he could to help him with his studies. Rain is a scattered-brain, easily distracted, head-up-in-the-clouds type of guy. But he has never been stupid. And so by the end of the year, he made sure his grades were even better than at the beginning, he made sure nobody could question how he got that scholarship. It's something he should have never been pressured to do in the first place, not by anyone or anything, but it's also something Rain found necessary. So, Sky helped, of course he did.

Sky was so fucking proud of him. Not that he would say that out loud.

That is what was so great about their friendship though. Sky intertwines their fingers while they cuddle on the couch and Rain knows. He always does.

Stupid my ass.

Sky respects his seniors. Phayu seemed like a decent guy the few times he met him. But his words hurt Rain. And that is a problem. Because now Sky is pissed at Phayu too.

Despite the clear interest in Rain’s eyes. Sky will watch out for his best friend. 

Phayu should also watch out. Sky thinks grumpily, a pout unconsciously forming on his face. 

Rain continues on complaining but Sky tunes him out the hundredth time he starts over with the same spiel.

"Skyyyyy. You’re not listening."

Sky gives a noncommittal sound and Rain smooshes his face in the crook of his neck, warm breath tickling his skin.

When he blinks, Sky feels Rain’s eyelashes leave phantom kisses on his neck. Rain feels so small in that moment, loafed like a cat and buried in Sky’s arms. Fragile yet solid and Sky’s heart squeezes uncomfortably in his chest.

He gives a prayer that Phayu won’t hurt his Rain, otherwise, Sky has no idea what he would do.

Rain’s voice eventually peters out, the boy having worn himself out, falling straight into a nap.

Yeah, Sky would burn the world down for him and not even the strongest storms could put out that fire.

____

A while later, they're both cuddled on their couch, projects finished and eyes droopy. Sky is absentmindedly rubbing Rain's back, while the smaller man has his face buried in Sky's shoulder, warm breath heating up Sky's skin through his shirt. His heart squeezes painfully in his chest. These little moments with his best friend make him feel unmeasurably happy. How lucky is he that he met Rain when he did? How lucky is he that when the other reached out his hand, he forced himself to take it? How lucky is he that after all the sleepless nights and terror-filled days, Rain has never once let go of his hand?

The silence would normally pull Sky right into another nap, however, this time, there's something nagging at his brain since their earlier discussion about Phayu. And maybe Sky is still half-asleep when he says it, but that is usually when he's the most honest too.

Something Rain mentioned earlier has bothered him enough to not let his mind rest.

So, in usual Sky fashion, he addresses the problem.

"You know…if you're actually interested in P'Phayu…" he pauses to make sense of his thoughts. "You know I'll support you, right? It doesn't always have to be just us." 

You deserve love, Rain. Sky doesn't say it though. He doesn't think he could keep his voice from breaking if he did. Out of guilt or grief, he wouldn't know.

The abrupt way in which Rain tenses startles Sky and he immediately shifts his best friend's body so he could look at his face. He sees two expressive doe eyes on a perfectly frozen face and he sighs.

"But I like the way we are right now." Rain sounds so small when he says it that Sky immediately pulls him back to his chest. After a moment of heavy silence, Rain speaks up again, his voice having gained a bit more steel into it. It makes Sky crack a smile. He always loves to see Rain show confidence, especially when it's genuine. Sky is all too aware of how easily his best friend can fake it when he's around others. "And I don't think…others would get it…I'd rather not even try than end up breaking up anyways because the guy calls me a cheater or something."

Sky sighs and almost hates it how he understands where Rain is coming from when he says this. He gets it because he feels the same way. He doesn’t often think of the more questionable parts of their friendship, how they are so codependent and how that would and probably will eventually affect their future relationships, especially if they ever want to be romantically involved with someone. 

They have never craved that with each other, even if they discussed it once, when they were still in highschool and every one of their classmates seemed to be coupling up with someone. However, they realized that they have never once looked at each other romantically or even sexually despite recognizing - on an objective level - that the other was attractive. That is why it is so easy for them to be so intimate with one another. They are meeting each other's needs for affection and intimacy so well because they know none of them has any expectation for more.  

His Rain is more than a best friend though. He's Sky's soulmate, he's someone he could never and will never let go off. Toxic codependency aside, Sky has never felt safer and more comfortable in any other relationship in his life. Not even his relationship with his dad who's a good father, but he hasn't been actively involved in his son's life since Sky was a child. There's definitely some awkwardness now between them not due to a lack of love but more just the drifting apart that sometimes happens when you grow up and go through these major life events and that parent isn't there to see them. Naturally, there's a disconnect now.

Rain has always been there though. He hasn't been there when the story with Gun happened (and for that, Sky will forever be thankful to the universe), but he's been there throughout everything that came after. And Rain has been so good to him. So he'll be selfish and continue to hold onto him. He has the feeling Rain has the same opinion about this, despite never addressing this particular aspect of their friendship, the apparent unhealthy attachment.

"You know I would never let him hurt you." Sky blurts out.

Rain hums, nose pressing deeper into Sky's skin and Sky wants to bundle him up into a ball and carry him in his pocket forever. Rain would have a field day if he knew though so he doesn't say it.

"I know, Sky. I know you'll always protect me."

Sky tries to inhale and let the next words out in a big exhale. He tries to spit them out all at once. Otherwise, he's afraid he would never be able to. Somehow, Rain feels that what he's about to say next is something heavier so he squeezes Sky's torso once as a sign of encouragement. 

"And if he ends up being like…l-like Gun, I would still…I would still protect you, Rain. I would-"

"Hey, hey, you don't have to think about that, Sky. Take a deep breath. Nothing like that will ever happen again. And I really doubt our perfect little senior Phayu is anything like that."

"I know, I know." 

Sky sighs and feels the worry in Rain's body just by the way his muscles tense over and over from where they're pressed close to his body.

"But sometimes…I feel like…you're holding yourself back from dating because of me. That because of what happened to me, now you're scared to meet someone that could end up hurting you too."

He sees Rain swallow and he feels eyelashes flutter over the skin of his neck.

"I think…that used to scare me sometimes. Back in highschool, yeah…"

Sky's chest hurts as if someone had punched him right in the middle of it. He struggles to breathe through the guilt and the nausea. Rain doesn't let him feel bad for long though because as soon as he utters the words, he continues by saying "However, my biggest fear wasn't that I would find a guy who would turn up to be a piece of shit like Gun, but that me getting hurt in that way, would hurt you even more."

There's a moment of silence that falls over the apartment. It feels like they're sitting in a mortuary, their past selves laid down at their feet. It's a heavy feeling. But it's also warm, like snow melting in your hands and numbing them whole.

Rain pulls back enough to look him in the eye.

"I love you, Sky."

He says it so easily, without the expectation of hearing it back. Rain just settles back with his head between Sky's neck and shoulder and Sky feels his eyes close. Rain trusts him so much. Rain trusts him with his life. And Sky feels the urgent need to protect him with his whole being. 

"I would never let anyone hurt you, Rain." He repeats his earlier words, needing them to be ingrained in Rain's brain over and over so that the other boy will never doubt them. Rain hums, sounding small and content.

There's a while later when they both feel on the verge of sleep. It's probably way past dinner time by now. They should get up and eat something, but neither one of them moves.

They shift until their faces are on the same pillow, staring silently at each other. Rain smiles, bunny teeth showing.

"Nobody will ever hurt you, Rain."

"I know."

"Because I'd kill him for you."

Rain blinks once, twice as if Sky's words register with a lag in his brain.

Sky lifts up a brow, a half mocking, half unsure expression on his face. His long finger messes with a strand of Rain's dark hair, pulls it behind his ear, gently strokes down and arranges the hair. 

"What? You wouldn't do it for me?" 

Sky is scared to hear the answer. But only for a moment. Rain immediately snaps out of his shock and blinks his glassy eyes at his best friend, arms tightening around Sky's waist, bodies pressing closer together on the couch. "You know I would." Rain leans down, face hovering above Sky's as he nuzzles his nose gently at his best friend's cheek. "I'd probably cut his dick off first."

Sky puffs out a laugh and he wonders briefly what that says about him if the thought of his best friend becoming a murderer for him doesn't mortify him but rather it fills him with endearment and fondness and the L-word he so seldom utters out loud. "You on the other hand…" Rain trails off, nimble fingers gently spreading on the warm skin of Sky's tummy. "...I'd like to see you use the gun. Fast and efficient." 

Sky hums, eyelids dropping slightly, tongue feeling oddly heavy in his mouth. They should get up before they fall asleep for good.

Rain's lips leave a trail of warmth on his neck when the younger starts giving Sky gentle sniff kisses there. Sky surprisingly doesn't stop him, instead he speaks again. "And you would definitely leave a bloody mess behind."

Rain giggles. Giggles.

Fuck . Maybe they really are a hopeless case, so much that they haven't even noticed.

Sky lets himself care for a second before he disregards that train of thought in favor of emptying out his mind completely. Rain presses a final kiss on his neck, soft plush lips leaving a moist spot behind. Rain's eyes are misted over, discussion already completely forgotten. Meanwhile Sky smiles serenely for a second, content with the feel of his best friend's solid weight on top of him, the warmth of Rain's body feeling like a safety blanket. With his head back and Rain's face now buried in his neck again, Sky continues to float for a while longer in their personal little haven.