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Eden, 4004 BC
On the Eastern Wall, a demon chatted up an angel about lead balloons and giving away flaming swords. Meanwhile, on the Northern Wall, an Archangel received a visit from a Prince of Hell.
The Archangel Gabriel was pacing the length of the wall, all four wings twitching in irritation, when a swarm of flies buzzed up from the ground, swirling and coalescing into one short little demon. They stared at each other for a moment, recognition heavy between them.
“So, what are you going by now?” Gabriel asked. He really ought to have attacked or at least chased zer off, but he could still remember who zhe used to be, and that made it hard to even look at zer. The differences were striking: zer hair was now chopped short and messy, jet black instead of blonde; zer eyes were the dark, red compound eyes of a fly; and the holy markings that once adorned zer face now had burned off, having left boils and pustules instead.
“Beelzebub.” Zhe responded, watching the Archangel warily. “Prince of Hell.” One of Lucifer’s favourites then—and that was a thought that burned Gabriel inside.
“Right,” Gabriel nodded and glanced over before looking away once more. Another awkward moment passed. “And the flies?”
“They’re me.” Beelzebub sighed, exasperated.
“Really?” Gabriel turned to actually look at zer. “Even that one?” He pointed to the large one that appeared to be merged into zer hair.
“Ezzpecially that one,” Beelzebub buzzed with annoyance.
There was much unsaid as they stood there awkwardly not talking and barely even looking at each other; a history laid between them that they both refused to acknowledge but sat obnoxiously between them regardless.
“This was always meant to happen,” Gabriel eventually broke the silence with a smug tone, a fake confidence to him that he still had to practice and one day would be good at. “You haven’t done anything She didn’t want.”
“Uh huh,” Beelzebub laughed mockingly. “You ztill lozt.” The tension between them wasn’t broken, instead it took a new shape. What once was awkward changed, in that moment, into a sort of rivalry. Their roles as hereditary enemies were accepted. It was easier that way.
The Archangel Gabriel was unamused by Beelzebub’s declaration, a fact made obvious as thunder rumbled overhead. The first ever storm started up as the Archangel and Prince continued to bicker with each other while, elsewhere, an angel put their wing over a demon. Here the Archangel Gabriel merely laughed as Beelzebub scowled at him, insect wings buzzing with water, too heavy to fly.
Nazareth, 18 BC
In a few decades, an angel and a demon would be watching a man be killed in Golgotha for telling others to be kind, but before that, Gabriel ran into Beelzebub again. Gabriel didn’t expect to ever see Beelzebub after that first rain, but they kept crossing paths anyway. He also didn’t expect to be on Earth so much in the first place, but he was Her Messenger, he had his part to play, even if he didn’t understand it.
“Gabriel,” Beelzebub said in greeting. The drone of the flies around zer was ever present still.
“Beelzebub,” Gabriel smiled politely in return, but these days the smile never reached his eyes.
As far as Beelzebub could see, Gabriel was watching over a woman who was lamenting her misfortune and praying in front of a laurel tree. The woman was completely unaware of the two otherworldly beings watching. While Beelzebub could never hear the prayers of the devout, it eventually became obvious by her spoken pleas that she was praying for a child.
“Oh, no, don’t tell me thiz iz Hannah all over again.” Beelzebub sneered.
“I have no idea what you’re referring to,” Gabriel’s response was toneless, a simple statement of fact. It was also the closest he got to a lie, threading the line in a way he would eventually become a pro at. “This is Anne.”
“Of courze, they even have the zame name.” Beelzebub shook zer head. It was unclear if zhe was amused or irritated, probably both.
Gabriel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am told it is for the Great Plan.”
“The Great Plan requirez you to fuck humanz?” Beelzebub raised an eyebrow, highly sceptical. It sounded more like something zer lot would do, beings of sin and all.
“Don’t be so vulgar, Beelzebub. I gave her a divine blessing—" Gabriel tried to explain but was cut off by a harsh laugh from the Prince of Hell.
“Iz that what they’re calling it theze dayz? You zertainly think highly of yourzelf.” Beelzebub snickered next to him.
“Of course, I do, I’m an angel.” Gabriel folded his hands together in front of him and tilted his head up slightly, effectively making himself look even more self-important, not that he needed the help in that regard.
Beelzebub just rolled zer eyes. For as smart as he could be, Gabriel could also be obtuse at times. After a pause, Beelzebub asked, “Iz thiz going to be another prophet?”
“I shouldn’t tell you that.” Gabriel said sharply, but he also did not shoo the Prince away as he stepped forward to give the woman a revelation. His wings came out in a whoosh of displaced air, and light shined brightly from his halo. Beelzebub just squinted zer eyes and scowled at the display. “Anne, Anne,” Gabriel started, but stopped as the woman appeared to be terrified that a man-shaped being had suddenly appeared, out of nowhere, in front of her. Beelzebub cackled, though Anne could not hear the demon’s laughter.
Gabriel tried to smile reassuringly, although it was strained thanks to the presence of Beelzebub. “Be not afraid, I am an angel of the Lord and I have come to deliver you a revelation: The Lord has heard your prayer. You will conceive and birth a child, and your offspring will be spoken of throughout the entire world.”
“As the Lord lives, I will offer my child to the Lord’s service.” Anne did not see the complicated expression that crossed Gabriel’s face as she kneeled before him and thanked the Lord, but Beelzebub did.
In six months, a girl named Miriam would be born. Gabriel would watch over her as she lived in the temple, just as he had done for Samuel. Decades later, an angel and a demon would then watch over her son.
England, 1818
Centuries ago, an angel and a demon made an Arrangement: to lend each other a hand when needed. Gabriel and Beelzebub made a similar, yet completely different and entirely unspoken, arrangement: to get in each other’s way when possible.
It was because of this that they met more often. Normally, Beelzebub was the one to approach Gabriel, this time he approached zer.
“Bee! What are you doing here?!” It was unmistakably Gabriel’s voice, but Beelzebub hadn’t expected what zhe saw when zhe turned around. It was Gabriel, his corporation was unchanged, but not in a presentation Beelzebub had seen before.
Gabriel wore a long light grey dress that cut low over his breast with an open shoulder and short puffy sleeves. The cinch for his dress lay just under his breast, a royal purple that matched the shawl he had hooked around both elbows, and pressed flush against his back. His dark grey-brown hair was long for once and tied up extravagantly with a white, silk bandeau.
Beelzebub, meanwhile, wore a black double-breasted waistcoat, a black overcoat with a high red velvet collar and long tailcoat, white high necked silk shirt and cravat, tight high waisted dark breeches, black knee-high boots, and a top hat with a red silk ribbon tied just above the brim.
“What are you doing here?!” Beelzebub squawked back. Zhe looked Gabriel over a little too obviously.
“I believe I asked you first,” Gabriel huffed in that snooty way of his and impatiently tapped a closed fan against his open palm.
“Do you two know each other?” One of the humans near them asked.
“No!” Beelzebub snapped at the same time Gabriel said, “Yes.”
There was an awkward silence as Beelzebub glared at Gabriel, who had opened his fan to hide a self-satisfied smile.
“If you’ll excuse us, I believe we need to get reacquainted.” Gabriel snapped his fan shut again and put his arm around Beelzebub’s, leading zer to a more private area where they could talk. The walk was tense and quiet, neither acknowledging the other.
When they reached a secluded hall, Beelzebub grabbed Gabriel by the arms and backed him up against a door. Zhe hated how the Archangel simply let zer without putting up even a pretence of a struggle. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Gabriel spoke in an almost playful tone, looking completely unbothered by the show of aggression. “I’m trying to restore the church.”
“And I’m trying to prevent that,” Beelzebub snarled. They were cancelling each other out again. That wouldn’t do, Beelzebub had to win.
“You look good, by the way.” Gabriel was quick to compliment.
“And you still look like a prick,” Beelzebub bit back, despite not really meaning it.
Beelzebub looked at Gabriel, defiant and challenging. In response, Gabriel simply titled his head slightly, smirked back, and raised one eyebrow—a wordless gauntlet thrown.
In the end, Gabriel won that exchange. The English government voted to spend one million pounds on the construction of new churches, although things were still slow going up until 1843. Beelzebub would take credit for slowing it down, while internally blaming Gabriel’s new presentation that day.
St. James Park, 11 Years Ago (circa 2008)
A demon drove down the road late at night, delivering a child that may one day start the end of the world, while a Prince of Hell met an Archangel in an undisclosed location.
Not many people were about so late at night, which worked well for their meeting. Beelzebub rose from the earth behind a bench, hopped over the back of it, and sat down. Gabriel was already there, a few feet in front of the bench.
“Things have finally been set in motion,” Beelzebub took up the entirety of the bench despite zer size. Zhe leaned back, spread arms over the back of the bench, and left zer legs wide open in an uncaring sprawl. “We’re in the end times.”
“Ah.” Gabriel said eloquently, eyes widening slightly and smile faltering. They always knew this was going to happen, it hadn’t exactly been a secret. This was the culmination of everything they had worked towards the past six thousand years.
“Yup,” Beelzebub’s head fell back and zhe blew a ring of smoke, despite not smoking anything.
“Well then. I suppose this will be our final confrontation,” Gabriel looked away towards the pond. So, this was the end then. Armageddon. Only one side would win. The two of them were silent for a couple of minutes, the threat of the future hanging heavy in the air. “Your side doesn’t stand a chance of course.” Gabriel’s fake smile was back as he turned around.
Beelzebub looked back up at Gabriel, an unspoken conversation passing between them. It was easier to be enemies, to accept the roles they had been dealt. It had to be. Beelzebub scoffed, the buzz of flies in zer voice the only indication that zhe was affected. “Ha! You wish. Unlike lazt time, we’ve been preparing for this for six thouzand yearz.”
“Nonsense, good will always triumph,” Gabriel replied, full of false confidence. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to alert my people.”
“You do that.” Beelzebub watched as a flash of lightning struck where Gabriel was a moment ago, leaving zer alone in the park. “Arsehole.”
Gabriel reappeared in a sushi restaurant and spoke to Earth’s longest active agent, the Principality Aziraphale. Beelzebub returned to Hell to rally zer own subjects. Whatever the outcome was, they would be ready.